the cheapest way to work Why Goldingham laid my Lord Marry my Lord said Goldingham Count you but upon the posts for the Country will find you Railing 29. The Lord Keeper Sir Nicholas Bacon was asked his Opinion by Queen Elizabeth of one of these Monopoly Licenses And he answered Madam will you have me speak the Tâ—uth Licentiâ omnes deteriores sumus We are all the worse for Licenses 30. My Lord of Essex at the Succour of Rboane made 24 Knights which at that time was a great number Divers of those Gentlemen were of weak and small Means which when Queen Elizabeth heard she said My Lord might have done well to have built his Alms-house before he made his Knights 31. The Deputies of the Reformed Religion after the Massacre which was at Paris upon Saint Bartholomâ—ws Day treated with the King and Queen Mother and some other of the Counsel for a Peace Both sides were agreed upon the Articles The question was upon the security for the performance After some particulars propounded and rejected the Queen Moâ—her said Why Is not the word of a King sufficient security One of the Deputies answered No by Saint Bartho omew Madam 32. There was a French Gentleman speaking with an English of the Law Saâ—ique That Womeâ— were excluded from Inheriting the Câ—own of France The English said Yes but that was meant of the Women themselves not of such Males as claimed by Women The French Genâ—leman said Where do you find that gloss The English answered I 'le tell you Sir Look on the back-side of the Record of the Law Salique and there you shall find it endorsed Implying that there was no such thing as the Law Salique but that â—t is a meer fiction 33. A Fryar of France being in an earnest Dispute about the Law Salique would need prove it by Scripture citing that verse of the Gospel Lilia Agri non â—aborant neque nent The Lilies of the Field do neither labour nor spin Applying it thus That the Flower de Luces of France cannot descend neither to the Drâ—â—â— staff nor to the Spade That is not to 〈◊〉 Woman nor to a Peasant 34. When Peace was renewed witâ— the French in England divers of thâ— great Counsellors were presented from thâ— French with Iewels The Lord Henâ—â— Howard being then Earl of Northampâ—onâ— and a Counsellour was omitted Whereâ— upon the King said to him My Lord how happens it that you have not a Iewâ—â— as well as the rest My Lord answeredâ— according to the Fable in Aesope Noâ—â— sum Gallus itaque non reperi Gemman 35. The same Earl of Northampton then Lord Privy Seal was ask'd by Kinâ— Iames openly at the Table where commonly he entertained the King with discourse the King ask'd him upon the sudden My Lord have you not a desireâ—â— to see Rome My Lord Privy Seal answered Yes indeed Sir The King said And why My Lord answered Because if it please your Majesty it was the seat of the greatest Monarchy and the Sâ—minarâ— of the â—ravest men of the world whilestâ— was Heathâ—n And then Secondly becâ—â—seâ— afterwards it was the Son of so many holy Bishops in the Primitive Church most of them Martyr The King would not give â—over but said And for nothing else 〈◊〉 Lord answered Yes if it please your â—ajesty for two things more The onâ— to â—him who they say hath so great a power forgive other men their sins to confess own â—ins upon his knees before a Chapâ—in or Priest And the other to hear Antiâ—â—rist say his creed 36. Sir Nicholas Bacon being appointâ—â— a Judge for the Northern Circuit â—â—d having brought his Trails that came â—â—fore him to such a pass as the passing 〈◊〉 Sentence on Malefactors he was by â—â—e of the Malefactors mightily imporâ—ned for to save his life which when â—othing that he had said did avail he atâ— ngâ—h desired his Mercy on the account 〈◊〉 Kindred Prethee said my Lord Judg â—ow came that in Why if it please you 〈◊〉 Lord your Name is Bacon and 〈◊〉 is Hog and in all Ages Hog and Baâ—â—n have been so neer kindred that they â—â—e not to be separated I but replyed â—udg Bacon you and I cannot be kindâ—â—d except you beâ—hanged for Hog is not â—acon until it be well hanged 37. Two Scholars and a Countrey man â—â—avelling upon the Road one night â—â—dged all in one Inn and supt together where the Scholars thought to have puâ— trick upon the Country man which 〈◊〉 thus The Scholaâ—s appointed for Suâ—per two Pigeons and a Fat Capoâ— which being ready was brought up aâ— they having set down the one Schoâ—â— took up one Pigeon the other Schoâ—â— took the other Pigeon thinking there that the Country man should have 〈◊〉 still until that they were ready for tâ—â— carving of the Capon which he perceâ—â—ving took the Capon and laid it on 〈◊〉 Trencher and thus said Daintily coâ—trived every one a bird 38. Iack Roberts was desired by hâ—â— Taylor when the Reckoning grew someâ— what high to have a Bill of his hanâ— Roberts said I am content but you muâ— let no man know it when the Taylâ—â—â—â—rought him the Bill he tore it as 〈◊〉 choler and said to him you use me nâ—â— use me well you promised me no man shouâ—â— know it and here you have put in Be â— known unto all men by these Presents 39. Sir Walter Raleigh was wont 〈◊〉 say of the Ladies of Queen Elizabeths Privy Chamber and Bed Chamber Thaâ— they were like Witches they could do hurtâ— but they could do no good 40. There was a Minister deprived foâ—â— â—â—â—conformity who said to some of his â—â—iends that if they deprived him it â—â—ould cost an hundred mens lives the â—rty understood it as being a turbulent â—low he would have move sedition â—â—â—d complained of him whereupon beâ—â—g convented and oppâ—sed upon that â—eech he said his meaning was â—â—at if he lost his Benefice he would practâ—â— Physick and then he thought he should 〈◊〉 an hundred men in time 41. Secretary Bourns Son kept a Genâ—â—emans Wife in Shropshire who lived â—om her Husband with him when he as weary of her he caused her Husband 〈◊〉 be dealt with to take her home and â—fered him five hundred pounds for reâ—â—ration the Gentleman went to Sir 〈◊〉 Sidney to take his advice upon this 〈◊〉 telling him that his Wife promised 〈◊〉 a new life and to tell him truth 〈◊〉 hundred pounds would come well â—ith him and besides that sometimes â—e wanted a Woman in his Bed By my â—roth said Sir Henry Sidney Take her 〈◊〉 and take the Money then when as 〈◊〉 her Cucholds wear their Horns plain you â—ay wear yours guilt 42. When Rablais the great â—ester of â—rance lay on his death bed and they gave him the Extream Unction a faâ—â—â—â— liar friend of his came to him afterwarâ— and asked him how he did Rablais aâ—swered Even going my Iourny they 〈◊〉 greased my Boots already 43. Mr. Bron ley Sollicitor giving
unto â—nother man 84. Stilpo the Philosopher when the people flocked about him and that onâ— said to him the people come wonderinâ—â— about you as if it were to see somâ— strang beast No â—aith he it is to see man which Diogene's sought with his Laâ—â—â—orn at noon day 85. A man being very jealous of hâ—â— Wife insomuch that which way soevâ—â— she went he would be prying at her heelâ— and she being so grieved thereat in plaâ—â— terms told him That if he did not for 〈◊〉 future leave off his proceedings in this nâ—â—ture she would graâ—t such a pair of horâ—â— upon his head that should hinder him froâ— coming out at any door in the house 86. A Citizen of London passing tâ—â— streets very hastily came at last wheâ— some stop was made by Carts and foâ— Gentlemen talking together who knâ—â— him where being in some passion thatâ—â— could not suddenly pass one of themâ—â—â— this wise spake to him That others had 〈◊〉 by there was room enough only he coâ—â—â— not tell if their Horns were so wide as hisâ—â— 87. A Tinker passing Châ—â—pside wiâ—â— his usual tone Have you 〈◊〉 work for Tinker an Apprentice standing at dore opposite to a Pillory there set uâ— called the Tinker with an intent to 〈◊〉 a jest upon him and told him that should do very well if he would stop those two holes in the Pillory to which the Tinker answered That if he would put his head and ears a while in that Pillory he would bestow both brass and nail upon him to hold him in and give him his labour into the bargain 88. A young Maid having married an old Man was observed on the day of Marriage to be somewhat moody as if she had eaten a dish of Chums which one of her Bridemen observing bid herâ—â— be cheery and told her moreover that an old horse would hold out as long and as well as a young one in travel to which she answered stroking down her belly with her hand But not in this Road Sir 89. There was in Oxford a cowardly fellow that was a very good Archer he was abused by another and moaned himself to Sir Walter Râ—leigh then a Scholar and askt his advice what he should do to repair the wrong had been offered him Raleigh answered Why challenge him at a match of shooting 90. Whitewood a grave Divine was much esteemed by Queen Elizabeth but not preferred because he was against the Government of Bishops he was of a blunt Stoical nature he came one day to Queen and the Queen happened to â—â—ay to him I like thee the better Whitehead because thou livest unmarried He answered In troth Madam I like you thâ—â— worse for the same cause 91. Doctor Lawd said that some Hypocrites and seeming mortifyed men 〈◊〉 held down their heads like bulrushes were like the little Images that they place in the very bowing of the Vaults oâ— Churches that look as if they held up the Church but are but Puppets 92. A Noble Man of this Nation famously known for his mad tricks on 〈◊〉 time having taken Physick which hâ— perceiving began well to work called up his man to go for a Surgeon presently and to bring his Instruments with him thâ— Surgeon comes in with all speed tâ—â— whom my Lord Related that he founâ— himself much adicted to Women and therefore it was his will that the cause of it might be taken away and therefore commanded him forthwith to prepare hiâ—â— Instrument ready for to gueld him 〈◊〉 the Surgeon forthwith prepares accordingly and my Lord told him he would not see it done and therefore that hâ—â— should do his work the back way 〈◊〉 both parties being contented my Lord makes ready and holds up his 〈◊〉 and when he perceives the Surgeon very neer him he lets flye full in his face which made the Surgeon step back but coming presently on again Hold hold saith my Lord I will better consider of it for I feell the retentive faculty very weak at the reproach of such sharp Instruments 93. The Lord Henry Howard being Lord Privy Seal was asked by the King openly at the Table where commonly he entertained the King upon the sudden My Lord have you not a desire to see Rome My Lord Privy Seal answered Yes indeed Sir The King said and why My Lord answered because and please your Majesty it was once the Seat of the greatest Monarchy and the Seminary of the bravest men in the world amogst the Heathen and then again because it was the See of many holy Bishops in the Primitive Church most of them Martyrs The King would not give it over but said and for nothing else My Lord answered Yes and it please your Majesty for two things especially the one to see him who they say hath such a power to forgive other mens sins confess â—is own sins upon â—is knees before a Chaplain or Priest and the other is to hear Aâ—tichrist say his Crâ—eâ— 94. There was a curst Page that hâ—â— Master whipt naked and when he haâ—â— been whipt would not put on his cloath and when his Master bad him he said Take them you for they are the Hangmaâ— Fees 95. There was a Lady of the Weâ— Country that gave great entertainmeâ—â— at her house to most of the gallant Gentlemen thereabout and amongst otherâ—â— Sir Walter Raleigh was one This Lady though otherwise a stately Dame was notable and good House-wife and iâ— the morning betimes she called to one oâ— her Maids that lookt to the Swine anâ— asked are the Pigs served Sir Waltâ—â—â— Raleighs Chamber was fast by the Ladieâ— so as he heard her a little before dinneâ— the Lady came down in great state intâ— the great Chamber which was full oâ— Gentlemen and as soon as Sir Walter Raâ—â—leigh set eye upon her Madam saith he Are the Pigs served The Lady answeredâ—â— You know best whether you have had youâ— breakfast 96. Theâ—e were Fishermen drawingâ— the River at Châ—lsey Mr. Bacon camâ— thither by chance in the After-noonâ—â— and offered to buy their Dâ—augh they were willing He 〈◊〉 them what they would take They asked Thirty Shilâ—â—ings Mr Bacon offered them Ten They refused it Why then saith Mr. Baeâ—â—on I will be only a looker on They drew and catched nothing Saith Mr. Bacon are not you mad fellows now that might have had an Angel in your purse to have made merry withal and to have warmed you thorowly and now you must go home with nothing I but saith the Fishermen we had hope then to make a better gain of it Saith Mr. Bacon well my Master then I 'le tell you hope is a good Break-fast but it is a bad Supper 97. A Lady wâ—lking with Mr. Bacon in Grays-Inne Walks asked him whose that piece of ground lying next under the walls was He answered Theirs Then she asked him if those Fields beyond the Walks were theirs too He answered Yes Madam those are ours as you are ours to look on and no more
98. His Lordship when he was newly made Lord-Keeper was in Grays-Inne Walks with Sir Walter Rawleigh One came and told him that the Earl of Exeter was above He continued upon occasion still walking a good while At last when he came up my Lord of Eâ—â—ter met him and said My Lord I have madâ— a great vâ—nture to come up so high stairs being a gowty man His Lordship answered pâ—â—don me my Lord I have made the greatest Venture of all For I have Ventured upon your Patience 99. When Sir Francis Bacon was made the Kiâ—gs Atturney Sir Edward Cooâ— was put up from being Lord chief Iu stice of the Common Pleas to be Lorâ— chief Iustice of the Kings Pench which is a place of greater Honour but of less Profit And withal was made Privyâ— Counsellor After a few days the Lord Cook meeting with the Kings Aâ—â—urney said unto him Mâ— Atturney this is all your doing It is you that have made thisâ— stir Mr. Atturney answered Ah my Lord your Lordship all this while â—â—ath grown in Bredth You must needs â—ow grow in Heighth or else you would be a Monster 100. One day Queen Elizabeth told Mr. Bacon that my Lord of Essex after great Protestation of Penitence and affection fell in the end but upon the Suit of renewing his Farm of Sweet Wines He answered I read that in Nature there be two kinds of Motions or Appetites in Sympathy The one as of Iron to the Adamant for perfection The other 〈◊〉 the Vine to the Stake for sustentation â—at her Majesty was the one and his â—â—uit the other 101. Mr. Bacon after he had been veâ—â—ent in Parliament against Depopuâ—â—tion and Enclosures And that soon â—â—ter the Queen told him that she had â—â—erred the hearing of Mr. Mills Cause 〈◊〉 certain Counsellors and Iudges and â—â—â—ked him how he liked of it Answered 〈◊〉 Madam my Mind is known I am â—â—â—ainst all Enclosures and especially againâ—â—â—â—â—closed Iustice 102. When Sir Nicholas Bacon the â—â—rd Keeper lived every Room in Gorâ—â—mbury was served with a Pipe of Waâ— from the Ponds distant about a Mile 〈◊〉 In the life-time of Mr. Anthony â—â—con the Water ceased After whose â—â—ath his Lordship coming to the Inheâ—â—ance could not recover the Water â—â—thout infinite charge When he was â—â—rd Chancellor he built Verulam House â—ose by the Pond-yard for a place of â—â—ivacy when he was called upon to spatch an urgent business And being â—â—ked Why he built that House there is Lordship answered that since he â—â—uld not carry the Water to his House He would carry his House to the Waâ— 103. When my Lord President of 〈◊〉 Councel came first to be Lord Treasurer 〈◊〉 complained to my Lord Chancellor of 〈◊〉 troublesomness of the place for that 〈◊〉 Exchequer was so empty The Lord Châ—â—â—ellor answered My Lord be of 〈◊〉 cheer for now you shall see the bottom 〈◊〉 your business at the first 104. When his Lordship was newly â—â—â—vanced to the Great Seal Gondomar caâ—â— to visit him My Lord said That he 〈◊〉 to thank God and the King for that â—â—â—â—nour But yet so he might be rid of 〈◊〉 he could very willingly forb 〈◊〉 the Honour And that â—e formerly haâ— desire and the â—â—me continued with 〈…〉 to lead a private life Gondâ—â— answered That he would tell him 〈◊〉 Tale of an old Rat that would 〈◊〉 leave the World And acquaiâ—ted the youâ— Rats that he would retire into his Hâ—â— and spend his days solitarily and woâ—â—â— enjoy 〈…〉 comfort and commanâ— them upon his high displâ—â—sure not to 〈◊〉 to come in unto him They forâ—â—re two 〈◊〉 three days At last one that was 〈◊〉 hurity than the rest incited some of 〈◊〉 Fellows to go in with him and he woâ—â—â— venture to see how his Father did For â—â—ght be dead They went in and found 〈◊〉 old Rat sitting in the midst of a rich â—â—rmizan Cheese So he applyed the Faâ—â— after this witty manner 105. Rablais tells a Tale of one that â—s very Fortunate in compounding difâ—â—rences His Son undertook the said â—â—â—ourse but could never compound any â—hereupon he came to his Father and â—â—ked him What are he had to reconcile â—ifferences He answered He had no 〈◊〉 but this To watch when the two parâ—â—â— were much weariâ—d and their hearts â—ere too great to seek Reconcilement at 〈◊〉 â—â—others hands Then to be a means beâ—wixt them and upon no other Terms Afâ—er which the Son went home and prosâ—ered in the same undertakings 106. Alonso Cartilio was informed by â—â—is Steward of the greatness of his Exâ—ence being such as he could not hold â—ut therewith The Bishop asked him 〈◊〉 it chiefly arose His Steward told â—im In the multitude of his Servâ—â—ts The Bishop â—id him make him a Note of â—hose that were necessary and those that â—ight be spared Which he did And the Bishop taking occasion to read it before â—ost of his Servants said to his Steward â—ell let these remain because I have need of them And these others because 〈◊〉 have need of me 107. Mr. Marbury the Prâ—acher woâ—â—â— say That God was fain to deal with wiâ—â—â—ed men as men do with frisking jades a pasture that cannot take them up 〈◊〉 they get them at a gate So wiâ—ked 〈◊〉 will not be taken up till the Hour 〈◊〉 Death 108. Pope Xystâ—â— the fifth who waâ— very poor Mans Son and his Fathâ—â— House ill thatched so that the Sun caâ—â— in in many places would sport with 〈◊〉 Ignobility and say That he was Naâ— di casa Illustre Son of an Illustriâ—â— House 109. When the King of Spain Coâ—quered Portugal he gave special chargâ— to the Lieutenant that the Souldieâ— should not spoil lest he should alienaâ—â— the hearts of the People The Army alâ—â— suffered much scaâ—city of Victual Where upon the Spanish Souldiers would after wards say That they had won the King 〈◊〉 Kingdom on Earth As the Kingdom 〈◊〉 Heaven useth to be won By Fasting anâ— abstaining from that which is anotheâ— Mans. 110. They feigneda Tale of Sixtuâ—â— Quintus whom they called Size-Aâ—â—â— â—â—at after his Death he went to Hell â—â—d the Pâ—â—ter of Hell said to him You â—â—ve some reason to offer your self to this 〈◊〉 because you were a wicked Man 〈◊〉 yet because you were a Pope I have â—er not to receive you You have a place your own Purgatory you may go thiâ—â— So he went away and sought about â—â—reat while for Purgatory and could 〈◊〉 no such place Upon that he took â—â—rt and went to Heaven and knocked 〈◊〉 St. Peter asked Who was there He 〈◊〉 Sixtus Pope Whereunto St. Peter 〈◊〉 why do you knock you have the Keys â—â—uts answered It is true but it is so â—g since they were given as I doubt the â—â—rds of the Lock are altered 111. Charles King of Swide a great â—emy to the Jesuites when he took 〈◊〉 of their Colledges he would hang 〈◊〉 old Jesuites and put the young to 〈◊〉 Mines saying That since