and_o out_o of_o order_n to_o serve_v god_n it_o do_v much_o trouble_v i_o and_o in_o go_v to_o god_n i_o find_v comfort_n 4._o when_o i_o be_o hinder_v from_o duty_n with_o the_o people_n of_o god_n it_o be_v a_o great_a grief_n unto_o i_o and_o the_o manifestation_n of_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n upon_o my_o heart_n be_v the_o great_a joy_n i_o find_v and_o that_o which_o most_o fill_v and_o satisfy_v my_o soul_n 5._o i_o find_v the_o want_n of_o any_o of_o god_n ordinance_n to_o be_v a_o grief_n to_o i_o and_o that_o i_o be_o at_o a_o loss_n therein_o 6._o i_o desire_v to_o serve_v god_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o have_v a_o real_a and_o hearty_a respect_n to_o his_o commandment_n and_o to_o do_v just_o to_o all_o and_o do_v find_v my_o heart_n chief_o draw_v forth_o to_o holiness_n and_o in_o all_o thing_n to_o keep_v a_o good_a conscience_n and_o live_v in_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n a._n o._n xxv_o experience_n of_o m._n m._n i_o have_v many_o time_n have_v a_o desire_n to_o hear_v the_o word_n of_o god_n when_o employ_v about_o my_o call_v but_o i_o than_o think_v to_o myself_o that_o i_o have_v no_o body_n to_o provide_v for_o i_o but_o if_o god_n will_v bestow_v on_o i_o so_o much_o of_o these_o outward_a thing_n as_o upon_o other_o in_o the_o world_n than_o i_o will_v spend_v more_o time_n in_o hear_v pray_v and_o read_v the_o word_n and_o according_o as_o these_o outward_a thing_n have_v ebb_v or_o flow_v so_o have_v my_o joy_n be_v less_o or_o more_o but_o now_o god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o sight_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o why_o i_o have_v former_o no_o comfort_n it_o be_v because_o i_o have_v not_o faith_n in_o my_o heart_n before_o god_n wrought_v that_o in_o i_o instead_o of_o make_v use_n of_o those_o comfort_n which_o the_o word_n hold_v forth_o i_o spend_v my_o time_n in_o mistrust_v god_n providence_n who_o therefore_o just_o during_o that_o time_n hold_v the_o sense_n of_o his_o spiritual_a consolation_n from_o i_o sometime_o i_o be_v in_o despair_n so_o low_a that_o i_o can_v not_o apprehend_v any_o thing_n to_o be_v my_o portion_n but_o hell_n every_o thing_n that_o fall_v not_o out_o according_a to_o my_o mind_n i_o think_v be_v a_o judgement_n from_o god_n upon_o i_o yet_o i_o afterward_o get_v comfort_n by_o these_o invite_a promise_n isa_n 55.1_o ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v you_o to_o the_o water_n and_o he_o that_o have_v no_o money_n come_v you_o buy_v and_o eat_v yea_o come_v buy_v wine_n and_o milk_n without_o money_n and_o without_o price_n and_o ezek._n 33.11_o as_o i_o live_v say_v the_o lord_n god_n i_o have_v no_o pleasure_n in_o the_o death_n of_o the_o wicked_a but_o that_o the_o wicked_a turn_n from_o his_o way_n and_o live_v turn_v you_o turn_v you_o from_o you_o evil_a way_n for_o why_o will_v you_o die_v &_o house_n of_o israel_n i_o have_v some_o comfort_n from_o these_o promise_n but_o no_o assurance_n my_o thought_n be_v various_a and_o though_o between_o hope_n and_o despair_n yet_o i_o resolve_v to_o go_v to_o god_n know_v that_o he_o be_v unchangeable_a and_o that_o who_o he_o love_v he_o love_v to_o the_o end_n and_o that_o if_o a_o sinner_n do_v repent_v and_o turn_v to_o he_o he_o will_v blot_v all_o his_o sin_n and_o iniquity_n out_o of_o his_o remembrance_n and_o it_o please_v god_n to_o bring_v this_o promise_n into_o my_o mind_n and_o to_o help_v i_o by_o faith_n to_o lay_v hold_n on_o it_o and_o apply_v it_o to_o myself_o ezek._n 18.21,22_o if_o the_o wicked_a will_v turn_v from_o all_o his_o sin_n that_o he_o have_v commit_v and_o keep_v all_o my_o statute_n and_o do_v that_o which_o be_v lawful_a and_o right_a he_o shall_v sure_o live_v he_o shall_v not_o â—…ye_v all_o his_o transgression_n that_o he_o have_v commit_v they_o shall_v not_o be_v mention_v unto_o he_o in_o his_o righteousness_n that_o he_o have_v do_v he_o shall_v live_v and_o christ_n say_v job_n 3.16_o god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o this_o be_v life_n eternal_a to_o know_v god_n and_o jesus_n christ_n who_o he_o have_v send_v i_o bless_v god_n he_o have_v make_v i_o now_o to_o believe_v not_o only_o in_o word_n but_o to_o labour_v to_o bring_v forth_o the_o fruit_n thereof_o in_o a_o godly_a life_n and_o conversation_n 2._o i_o can_v but_o admire_v the_o free_a love_n of_o god_n to_o i_o that_o though_o i_o have_v give_v ear_n former_o to_o the_o devil_n and_o to_o the_o world_n and_o to_o my_o own_o wicked_a heart_n yet_o god_n have_v be_v thus_o please_v now_o to_o call_v i_o out_o of_o darkness_n into_o his_o most_o marvellous_a light_n 3._o god_n have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o faith_n to_o believe_v that_o though_o sin_n have_v abound_v in_o i_o yet_o grace_n shall_v now_o much_o more_o abound_v this_o make_v i_o to_o see_v the_o free_a love_n of_o god_n without_o any_o desert_n in_o the_o creature_n 4._o i_o have_v former_o go_v about_o to_o limit_n god_n and_o to_o be_v upon_o term_n with_o he_o that_o if_o he_o will_v give_v i_o so_o much_o of_o these_o worldly_a thing_n as_o i_o think_v needful_a than_o i_o will_v spend_v more_o time_n in_o those_o duty_n which_o he_o have_v command_v i_o but_o this_o be_v contrary_n to_o the_o word_n of_o god_n which_o teach_v i_o now_o first_o to_o seek_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n and_o the_o righteousness_n thereof_o know_v that_o all_o other_o thing_n shall_v be_v add_v to_o i_o that_o i_o want_v 5._o and_o now_o bless_a be_v god_n he_o have_v make_v i_o to_o believe_v this_o and_o all_o other_o promise_n so_o that_o i_o can_v by_o faith_n call_v god_n my_o father_n who_o have_v promise_v i_o that_o all_o thing_n shall_v work_v together_o for_o good_a to_o i_o because_o i_o love_v he_o 6._o i_o have_v find_v something_o from_o god_n of_o hope_n of_o mercy_n since_o i_o be_v a_o faithful_a hearer_n of_o the_o word_n though_o the_o devil_n do_v before_o tempt_v i_o with_o objection_n to_o drive_v i_o to_o despair_v for_o sin_n 7._o i_o be_o now_o i_o praise_v my_o god_n comfort_v in_o believe_v that_o god_n will_v not_o mention_v my_o sin_n against_o i_o christ_n die_v for_o sinner_n and_o the_o ungodly_a and_o i_o know_v that_o although_o i_o have_v be_v a_o great_a sinner_n yet_o this_o hinder_v i_o not_o from_o lay_v hold_n on_o the_o promise_n 8._o i_o do_v believe_v that_o the_o life_n i_o now_o live_v i_o live_v by_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n i_o see_v by_o faith_n that_o christ_n have_v satisfy_v god_n justice_n for_o my_o sin_n in_o particular_a and_o have_v bid_v i_o to_o reckon_v myself_o in_o he_o 9_o now_o be_v spiritual_o marry_v to_o christ_n all_o the_o privilege_n of_o saint_n and_o believer_n belong_v to_o i_o and_o i_o can_v say_v all_o be_v i_o and_o i_o be_o christ_n and_o christ_n be_v god_n who_o shall_v lay_v any_o thing_n to_o the_o charge_n of_o god_n elect_n it_o be_v god_n that_o have_v justify_v i_o who_o be_v he_o that_o shall_v condemn_v i_o be_v now_o justify_v by_o faith_n in_o christ_n i_o have_v peace_n with_o god_n 10._o i_o know_v when_o this_o earthly_a tabernacle_n be_v dissolve_v i_o shall_v have_v a_o abide_n not_o make_v with_o hand_n but_o eternal_a in_o the_o heaven_n for_o christ_n say_v i_o be_o go_v to_o prepare_v a_o place_n for_o you_o that_o be_v for_o i_o and_o all_o believer_n 10._o all_o the_o promise_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n be_v speak_v to_o believer_n and_o by_o faith_n i_o believe_v they_o be_v make_v to_o i_o and_o because_o he_o live_v i_o shall_v live_v also_o now_o christ_n have_v make_v i_o free_a i_o be_o free_a indeed_o 11._o christ_n have_v do_v all_o for_o i_o only_o bid_v i_o to_o believe_v which_o faith_n by_o his_o spirit_n he_o have_v wrought_v in_o i_o 12._o i_o have_v former_o be_v stir_v up_o to_o hear_v pray_v and_o read_v upon_o felfish_a consideration_n of_o fear_n that_o otherwise_o i_o shall_v go_v to_o hell_n and_o i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o think_v how_o i_o have_v choose_v rather_o to_o believe_v what_o the_o devil_n have_v say_v than_o what_o god_n have_v say_v but_o bless_v be_v the_o lord_n i_o now_o see_v it_o be_v free_a love_n that_o he_o forgive_v iniquity_n transgression_n and_o sin_n only_o because_o mercy_n please_v he_o all_o that_o i_o can_v do_v can_v 13._o i_o be_o guilty_a before_o god_n justice_n in_o myself_o both_o by_o original_a sin_n which_o come_v by_o the_o fall_n of_o adam_n and_o much_o more_o by_o
not_o at_o that_o time_n take_v comfort_n in_o any_o thing_n and_o have_v i_o not_o be_v with_o child_n &_o affect_v with_o natural_a inclination_n to_o the_o babe_n in_o my_o womb_n i_o have_v be_v in_o danger_n have_v not_o god_n prevent_v i_o to_o have_v destroy_v myself_o for_o i_o have_v some_o temptation_n that_o way_n but_o my_o god_n strengthen_v i_o yet_o before_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o bed_n i_o find_v peace_n and_o comfort_n and_o through_o grace_n have_v such_o settlement_n in_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o can_v with_o joy_n night_n and_o day_n call_v upon_o my_o god_n believe_o but_o before_o i_o attain_v to_o this_o i_o have_v many_o sore_a conflict_n until_o after_o some_o consideration_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v put_v into_o my_o mind_n as_o first_o touch_v the_o child_n that_o i_o go_v with_o because_o god_n have_v say_v the_o just_a and_o innocent_a slay_n thou_o not_o and_o then_o consider_v the_o innocency_n of_o the_o child_n it_o become_v a_o mean_n to_o stay_v my_o hand_n from_o lay_v violence_n upon_o myself_o yet_o for_o a_o time_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v in_o spirit_n till_o god_n give_v i_o peace_n from_o these_o and_o other_o scriptureâ—_n promise_n where_o the_o lord_n say_v call_v upon_o i_o in_o the_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o i_o will_v deliver_v thou_o &_o thou_o shall_v glorify_v i_o psal_n 50.15_o sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o you_o for_o you_o be_v noâ—_n under_o the_o law_n but_o under_o grace_n rom._n 6.14_o now_o the_o testimony_n of_o my_o conversion_n and_o true_a believe_v in_o which_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v a_o seal_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n be_v these_o 1._o my_o love_n to_o god_n which_o be_v real_a sincere_a and_o hearty_a desire_v he_o above_o any_o thing_n else_o whatsoever_o 2._o my_o rely_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n have_v nothing_o of_o my_o own_o to_o rest_v upon_o i_o fly_v to_o he_o and_z rest_z oâ—_n he_o for_o all_o as_o my_o alone_a saviour_n and_o redeemer_n 3_o i_o delight_v to_o read_v the_o holy_a word_n of_o god_n and_o to_o hear_v or_o other_o wise_a to_o partake_v thereof_o in_o which_o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n 4._o the_o comfort_n which_o i_o find_v by_o enlargement_n of_o my_o soul_n when_o god_n come_v in_o under_o the_o mean_n in_o duty_n and_o the_o loathnesse_n i_o have_v to_o be_v deprive_v of_o the_o ordinance_n 5._o the_o peace_n i_o find_v with_o my_o god_n in_o my_o soul_n which_o be_v sweet_a though_o not_o without_o much_o heaviness_n of_o spirit_n for_o my_o fail_n i_o do_v not_o live_v without_o wane_v and_o change_v in_o my_o spiritual_a life_n and_o faith_n towards_o the_o lord_n for_o sometime_o i_o trust_v god_n with_o all_o and_o at_o other_o time_n i_o meet_v with_o some_o donbting_n yet_o bless_v be_v god_n i_o find_v they_o more_o and_o more_o assuage_v and_o my_o communion_n with_o christ_n every_o day_n more_o sweet_a and_o full_a 6._o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n my_o redeemer_n will_v so_o support_v i_o through_o his_o grace_n that_o what_o ever_o my_o condition_n have_v be_v or_o shall_v be_v here_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v of_o salvation_n through_o christ_n in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o l._n p._n xxxv_o experience_n of_o f._n p._n i_o have_v be_v trouble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o my_o corruption_n and_o wretched_a condition_n i_o have_v former_o have_v some_o doubt_n touching_n the_o scripture_n whether_o they_o be_v truth_n or_o not_o but_o have_v be_v since_o trouble_v that_o i_o make_v those_o foolish_a doubt_n to_o question_n god_n word_n and_o be_v so_o wound_v in_o my_o conscience_n for_o my_o sin_n therein_o that_o i_o fear_v i_o shall_v be_v damn_v for_o it_o because_o i_o think_v it_o be_v a_o sin_n that_o god_n will_v not_o pardon_v i_o have_v also_o strange_a thought_n about_o the_o sinful_a way_n of_o ungodly_a people_n and_o consider_v how_o loose_o people_n live_v i_o and_o temptation_n to_o persuade_v i_o that_o sure_o there_o be_v some_o easy_a way_n to_o heaven_n then_o the_o scripture_n have_v lay_v down_o or_o then_o i_o have_v learn_v but_o for_o these_o evil_a thought_n of_o i_o i_o have_v be_v so_o afflict_v in_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o think_v i_o be_v a_o damn_a wretch_n i_o have_v be_v tempt_v by_o these_o blasphemous_a thought_n against_o the_o lord_n which_o have_v so_o afflict_v i_o that_o sometime_o i_o fear_v the_o devil_n will_v fetch_v i_o away_o and_o carry_v i_o to_o hell_n and_o i_o have_v think_v sometime_o that_o sure_o god_n can_v not_o in_o justice_n pardon_v such_o sin_n as_o i_o have_v commit_v i_o have_v also_o be_v tempt_v to_o make_v away_o myself_o but_o the_o lord_n god_n put_v i_o in_o mind_n to_o consider_v that_o it_o will_v not_o give_v i_o ease_v or_o comfort_n but_o be_v the_o way_n to_o enter_v into_o endless_a misery_n and_o thus_o i_o lay_v afflict_v with_o a_o most_o sad_a &_o trouble_v some_o spirit_n for_o about_o a_o year_n yet_o though_o with_o little_a hope_n from_o my_o present_a sense_n i_o have_v desire_n that_o god_n will_v save_v i_o and_o some_o groan_n i_o have_v after_o he_o and_o in_o his_o time_n which_o be_v best_a i_o begin_v to_o find_v enlargement_n of_o heart_n from_o god_n and_o a_o great_a longing_n for_o christ_n which_o increase_v through_o the_o work_n of_o his_o glorious_a power_n so_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v have_v be_v content_a to_o have_v go_v through_o all_o the_o misery_n in_o the_o world_n to_o have_v enjoy_v he_o and_o in_o my_o sleep_n i_o dream_v that_o i_o see_v my_o saviour_n lie_v in_o a_o grave_a and_o after_o again_o i_o see_v he_o rise_v from_o death_n when_o i_o awake_v and_o have_v some_o thought_n about_o my_o dream_n i_o find_v comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o begin_v more_o sweet_o to_o hope_n that_o christ_n jesus_n die_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o be_v rise_v again_o for_o my_o justification_n but_o the_o devil_n who_o go_v about_o like_o a_o roar_a lion_n do_v still_o tempt_v i_o so_o that_o i_o be_v again_o ready_a to_o despair_v for_o my_o former_a evil_a thought_n and_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o satan_n will_v have_v i_o and_o i_o doubt_v that_o god_n have_v no_o part_n in_o i_o which_o cause_v i_o to_o weep_v much_o and_o i_o be_v exceed_o trouble_v and_o sometime_o think_v that_o very_o i_o hear_v the_o devil_n come_v in_o a_o whirlwind_n for_o i_o and_o so_o terrify_v be_v my_o conscience_n that_o from_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o wrath_n which_o i_o fear_v i_o can_v have_v wish_v myself_o a_o beast_n a_o dog_n or_o any_o thing_n because_o their_o misery_n will_v have_v a_o end_n but_o aftermany_a comfortable_a discourse_n with_o friend_n and_o read_v some_o godly_a book_n that_o come_v to_o my_o hand_n the_o lord_n god_n in_o time_n deliver_v i_o from_o those_o temptation_n and_o have_v since_o comfort_v i_o with_o these_o promise_n to_o the_o great_a joy_n of_o my_o heart_n though_o some_o time_n i_o have_v not_o be_v without_o some_o doubt_n the_o lord_n have_v say_v be_v content_a with_o such_o thing_n as_o you_o have_v for_o he_o have_v say_v i_o will_v never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o so_o that_o i_o may_v bold_o say_v the_o lord_n be_v my_o helper_n heb._n 13.5,6_o the_o lord_n say_v sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o you_o rom._n 6.14_o this_o have_v often_o give_v i_o much_o comfort_n and_o keep_v up_o my_o soul_n when_o i_o have_v be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o christ_n say_v i_o will_v pray_v the_o father_n and_o he_o shall_v give_v you_o another_o comforter_n that_o he_o may_v abide_v with_o you_o for_o ever_o even_o the_o spirit_n of_o truth_n john_n 14.16,17_o and_o i_o have_v this_o testimony_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n by_o faith_n wrought_v by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n in_o i_o 1_o i_o see_v such_o a_o frailty_n in_o my_o flesh_n that_o except_o the_o lord_n send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o enable_v i_o i_o can_v do_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o duty_n to_o god_n of_o myself_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o not_o any_o thing_n in_o i_o that_o be_v the_o foundation_n of_o my_o comfort_n 2._o i_o have_v have_v many_o time_n if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o clear_a testimony_n and_o evidence_n that_o i_o love_v god_n more_o than_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o desire_v he_o above_o all_o 3._o i_o desire_v much_o to_o hear_v the_o word_n and_o be_o trouble_v that_o sometime_o it_o do_v not_o so_o pierce_v into_o my_o heart_n as_o i_o desire_v 4._o i_o have_v sometime_o such_o sweet_a comfort_n and_o enlargement_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o find_v much_o peace_n with_o god_n thereby_o which_o i_o