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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A41837 The Graves-end tilt-boat 1699 (1699) Wing G1606; ESTC R4953 21,400 50

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Sister who told her the Estate shou'd come to her and her Children after their Death the Eldest having no Children of her own she consented to them and run away into another County with her Father's Chaplin who had got a pair of Jack-Boots and put himself into a Troopers habit just when her Brother came to take Possession of the Estate and turn all out of Doors Her Husband who I told you was a sort of Unthinking good-natur'd Man being with my Master at that time he told him he heard his Eldest Daughters Husband design'd to Seiz on his Estate and turn him out of Door The Young Gentleman who seem'd to have no hand in the Plot told him 'T was Imposseeble and yet the next Morning went away to his Brother and left his Father His Wife coming back as soon as her Father was turn'd out and his Estate Seiz'd Having heard the Gentleman's Story out We all Commiserated the Unhappy Condition of the Injur'd Father and pitied the Meagre Gentleman that told the Story Upon which a Passenger that sat next but one to me addressing himself to him said I have heard your Tale and am sorry for your Misfortunes and tho' it is not in my Power to help you yet Sir for your Diversion I 'll tell you a Parallel Story to that which you have told and indeed not much unlike it only yours is of Unnatural Children and mine is of a Cruel Father which without any farther Preface is as follows The Second Tale. The Cruel Father THere Liv'd not long since in one of the largest Counties in England a Nobleman that shall be Nameless whose Nobility of Birth and great Estate had dignify'd him with the Title of Lord Lieutenant of the County where he liv'd and where he might have liv'd happily to this Day had not he been far more remarkable for Wickedness than for his Birth It would be hard to give an Exact Character of him he was so great a Compound of all Vice but Cruelty and Revenge had the Ascendant over all the rest and his thirst after Blood was insatiable which made him Implacable towards all whom he thought to have Injur'd him He did indeed profess the Popish Religion but that in the late Reigns was thought no Crime and it is hard to say whether his Religion made him so Cruel or his Cruelty made him turn Papist for he was bred a Protestant in his Younger Days but this is certain he was Proud Revengeful and Malicious and wou'd carry on his Designs by Treachery and Deceit his Words wou'd be smoother than Oyl when the greatest Villany was in his Heart and it was shrewdly suspected by many that he caus'd his own Brother to be Poisoned that he might Enjoy his Estate And this was very common to him that he wou'd commit Twenty Villanies to cover one and but to know that any Person suspected him was to have that Person taken out of the World to which End he always kept a Crew of Beggarly Cut-throats depending upon him which would Swear any Man out of his Life upon occasion especially if he was Rich and there was any hope of Forfeitures to fall to the King which he wou'd be sure to beg and thereby gratifie his Knights of the Post out of the Ill-gotten Spoils But if the Person prov'd too great to be taken off under a Pretence of Justice his Crew were ready at his Beck to Cut their Throats and then to lay the Crime on the Person they had so Murder'd as if he had done it himself He turn'd out all honest Gentlemen from being Justices of the Peace or Officers of the Militia in the County where he was Lord Lieutenant and affected an Arbitrary Rule and Domination in all that he did not caring what he Swore or how he took his Oath so that no Man cou'd use that Confession in the common Prayer We have done those things we ought not to have done and left undone those things we ought to have done better than himself And such as himself was were his Servants likewise being a Pack of the greatest Villains that ever scap'd the Gallows as forward to do any Mischief as he was to set 'em about it The most beggarly Scoundrels and Blood thirsty Rascals that ever came into the Service of a Gentleman their only Vertue being Passive-Obedience for they were for the most part such Cowards that they knew not how to resist And yet this Gentleman as wicked as he was had two fair Daughters whose Piety and Vertue was so great and Exemplary that it did more than Compensate for all their Fathers Ills who every Day offer'd up Pious Prayers to Heaven to turn him from the Evil of his Ways and griev'd to see the courses that he took Who in return repay'd them Hatred for their Love and Duty tho' for no other Reason but because they were Vertuous and wou'd not turn Papists as their Father had done but both continu'd Zealous Protestants The Eldest of them who was much the fairest of the Two and was the Wonder of her Sex for Piety and Vertue was Married to a Gentleman so truly Noble and Compleat in all Perfections as if his Brest had been the Magazine of all the Vertues for there they had their Constant Residence His Actions were always the Product of a well-grounded Judgment having Reason and Religion for their Basis In all his Attempts he was Brave and Undaunted but wou'd never attempt an Unjust thing He was always a great Assertor of the Liberty of Mankind and always an Enemy to Popery and Slavery for which reason his Father-in-Law hated him I have forgot to tell you That the Lord Lieutenant had a mighty kindness for a Great Man in a Neighbouring County who govern'd the People there with the extremest rigor and severity Imaginable using all manner of Cruelty and Oppression towards 'em breaking down all the Bounds and Fences of Law and Justice and making no Distinction either of Right or Wrong not Valuing the most Sacred Laws and Edicts that had been Confirmed with the greatest Solemnity so that none that knew him wou'd ever trust him if they cou'd avoid it and whoever did was sure to come off a Loser For Vows nor Oaths cou'd hold him any longer than till he had an Opportunity to break ' em This was t●● only Crony of the Lord Lieutenant who ●dmir'd his Conduct and follow'd his Exampl● in all he cou'd But his Noble Son-in-law had always oppos'd his Practices and hindred him several times from Oppressing his Neighbours as he design'd to have done Which made his Father hate him the more for he lov'd no body so well as this old Tyrant and had rather his Estate shou'd fall into his hands than into the hands of his Son-in-Law Who having as I said Married the Eldest Daughter and having no Son the Estate must of Necessity fall into his hands which the Lord Lieutenant and his Lady a Popish Bigot like her Husband
THE GRAVES-END Tilt-Boat LONDON Printed in the Year 1699. THE GRAVES-END Tilt-Boat BUsiness like the Goddess Diana is the Idol that all the World Worships and all pretend to it even from the King to the Beggar And is a thing of so much Reputation that they that have none make it their Business to seek some and are as busie in looking after Business as a Hen that scrapes for a whole Brood of Chickens This thing call'd Business is divided and diversify'd into all sorts and sizes and admits of more Variety than the colours of the Rainbow It was Business that brought me to the Graves-End Tilt-Boat as it did several others for we were a whole Boat full and every one pretended Business and tho' every Mans Business differ'd yet it was all our Business to go to Graves-End And the Weather being Warm and the bright Eye of the World appearing in its Meridian Lustre invited us to sit very orderly upon the Benches and not to lie hickle-de-pickle-de which is the Allamode-posture of the Tilt-Boat Passengers And whilst each one was Endeavouring by some Discourse or other to while away the time and divert the tediousness of our Passage there was one Person who had the Mein of a Gentleman but both his Garb and Looks sufficiently declar'd him a decay'd one who sat as Melancholly as an old Cat and gave every one cause enough to suspect that blind Fortune like a very Jilt as she is had severely bent her Brows and frown'd upon him and that he labour'd under the Malevolent Influences of some unkind Stars whose dire Aspects he was Unable to Ward off Which really touch'd my Foolish heart with so much pity that I cou'd not but sympathize with him in his unknown Sorrows Which that I better might divert him from Directing my Discourse to him What all-a-mort Sir says I If you have met with Troubles trouble your self no more about 'em there 's still a Morning to the Darkest Night nor was the Sky ever so over-cast with Blackness but that the all-Enlivening Sun shot forth his bright Corruscant Beams again and dry'd up all those Tears the Clouds had wept of which this lovely Day is a sufficient demonstration and since this Company nay and all Nature smiles why shou'd a Cloud be seen upon your Brows The Gentleman who had till now held down his head in a disponding posture and look'd as Meagre as the Picture of old Envy on the Monument at this rais'd himself up and said Ah Sir I thank you for your good Advice but did you know my Griefs as well as I do you 'd say they were too great to hope a Cure and there is scarce a Day that passes but makes 'em yet more desperate and me more hopeless Nor is it for my self alone that I am troubled for I cou'd bear the worst of Ills my self and dare my Angry Fate to pour down all its Curses on my head might I alone be made the Object of 'em and no one suffer else But 't is another's Fate for whom I mourn who from the greatest height of Happiness the World cou'd give him is now become an Abject and made the very Tennis-Ball of Fortune You have said I for ought I know reason for your Grief and wou'd you but relate the Story of your Sorrows it wou'd at least I do perswade my self have this Effect that by a generous sympathy we shou'd Commiserate your Fate and have a fellow-feeling of your Sufferings and 't is you know some Ease but to be pitied and have Companions in Affliction You Speak so generously reply'd the Melancholy Gentleman That tho' to answer your Request be to renew my Grief I 'll give you the sad Story of my Troubles as briefly as I can Upon this there was a general silence for we had all a Mind to hear him whilst he thus began The First Tale. The Vnnatural Children I Had once the Honour to be none of the meanest Servants to a Gentleman of the first Quallity in England and one not more remarkable for Greatness than for Goodness for he Excell'd in every thing and was the most tender of all Husbands to his Wives for he has had two the most Indulgent Father to his Children the kindest Master to his Servants and the best of Landlords to his Tennants whom he Endear'd to him by so much Kindness and Freedom that they seem'd to be the Family of Love I have already told you that my Master had two Wives by the first of which he had two Daughters who had they been as Vertuous as they were fair no Father in the World could have been happier in his Children But alas The Case was far otherwise For they both prov'd very Undutiful to their Father especially the Eldest who was Proud and Imperious looking upon all others to be below her and beholding 'em with scorn and contempt so haughty she was she cou'd not Endure to be contradicted and naturally of an Aspiring Temper desiring to be possess'd of her Father's Estate which altho' if he had dy'd without a Son she wou'd certainly have enjoy'd yet she wou'd rather have her Father turn'd out of doors than tarry till that time came In which Attempt her Youngest Sister who lov'd her Father best of the two was yet drawn in to joyn with her and so was her Husband also tho' otherwise a quiet good natur'd Gentleman who if he might but enjoy his Pleasure was willing to let the World go as it wou'd Being far unlike the Eldest Daughter's Husband who was Proud and haughty and Ambitious beyond Measure of a bold and daring Spirit but withal very Malicious and Revengeful and one that wou'd stick at nothing to bring about his own Designs Making great pretences to Vertue and Religion which serv'd only as a Cloak to his Ambition and as a Blind whereby he might conceal his Wicked Purposes looking upon Justice Honesty Truth and Right as things invented to keep Fools in awe and those that he chiefly hugg'd in his Bosom and made Privy to his Designs were men of the same Profligate Principles with himself by whose advice and counsel he was always sway'd And then his Covetousness was as great as his Ambition which made him esteem every thing lawful that he thought wou'd prove Profitable for Right or Wrong were things that never troubled him Now this being the Character of my Masters Children it was not likely that things shou'd prove much better than afterwards they fell out Whilst things continu'd thus my Master's Eldest Brother dy'd and having no lawful Issue of his own left all his Estate to him with an encrease of Power as well as Riches for he was Lord of several large and Wealthy Mannors All which my Master us'd with so much Lenity and Moderation as made him still better belov'd by every one And in a short time after his Lady who was a Gentlewoman of a high Descent and inrich'd with many great and Noble Vertues was