this thing the Lord brought to my remembrance Rom. 7. ult With my mind I my self serve the Law of God but with my flesh the Law of sin This Scripture was a great stay and satisfaction to me and took off that which was my chief fear There is no doubt but Paul was the Servant of Christ yet he sayeth I my self with the flesh serve the Law of Sin Evidences of the pardon of my sin Aug. 12. 1666. being under the sense of many sins I considered with my self what grounds and evidences I had for the pardon of my sins And was satisfied from these Scriptures Acts. 10. 43. To him give all the prophets Witness that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins I found that through grace I did believe in Christ 1 Joh. 1. 9. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness I saw here that Gods justice and faithfulness stand engaged to forgive their Sins who make confession of them which God had given me an heart to do Isa 1. 16 17 18 19. These persons to whom this promise was made had sinned against great mercies ver 2. and great judgments v. 5. and other circumstances did aggravate their sins yet God promiseth to forgive their Scarlet and Crimson-sins if they were willing to repent and obey the Lord. If ye be willing and obedient And through grace I found I was willing to obey Gods voice to cease to do evil and to learn to do well Hebr. 8. 10. 12. The promise of remission of sins is part of the new Covenant and I find that God hath made this Covenant with me from Isa 55. 3. where the condition of the Covenant is coming unto Christ to which God hath enabled me Dec. 30. Having left the prevalency of sin and found sin not only Warring against but leading me Captive which made me question my pardon I was enabled to rest upon God for forgiveness of my sin from Ps 65. 3. Iniquities prevail against me As for our transgressions thou shalt purge them away By purging is meant 1. pardoning Heb. 1. 3. Ps 51. 7. 2. Subduing and Destroying sin Isa 27. 9. 2 Tim. 2. 21. So that David when he felt sin prevailing and not only one sin but several Iniquities in the plural number prevail did yet rest upon God both for the pardon and the Subduing of his sins and what David did I may and ought to do Rom. 7. 23 24 25. when the Apostle found sin working and warring and leading him captive yet he hangs upon Christ and blesseth God for Christ and believeth he should be delivered from the guilt and power of his sins by Jesus Christ When the filthiness of my sins made me afraid that God would not pardon because I had such vile affections and such filthy motions in my heart God comforted me with that word Ezek. 36. 25. I will sprinkle clean water upon you and ye shall be clean from all your filthiness and I will cleanse you v. 29. I will save you from all your uncleannesses And from Act. 13. 38 39. the promise is to all that believe and here is promised Justification from all things So as no sin no circumstance in any sin shall be charged upon any believer to his condemnation Jul. 14. 1667. Having found my heart departing from God in a very treacherous manner this did cloud my Evidence of pardon but after prayer I was confirmed in the belief of the forgiveness of my sin from Jer. 3. 2 20 22. Here I saw that though the Jews had voluntarily without any enticing Temptation prostituted themselves to sin v. 2. and though they had in a Treacherous manner departed from God after he had taken them into a Conjugal Relation with himself v. 20. Yet he promiseth upon their return to heal their backslidings My Faith was further established by considering that remission of sin was promised to me in the Covenant which Covenant should never be removed from me Isa 54. 9 10. Also Dan. 9. 9. When God had once and again cleared up to my Soul the Pardon of my sins I considered with my self what duties this mercy called for And I saw 1. This should make me thankful Psal 103. 1 2 3. 2. It should make me admire God Mic. 7. 18 19. 3. It should make me more fearful of offending God Ps 130. 4. 85. 8. 4. It should make me Love God much Luke 7. 42 43 47. 5. It should make me glorifie God and let him have the Dominion over my Soul Rev. 1. 5 6. 6. It should make me cheerful and encourage me in all the troubles of this present life Mat. 9. 2. Isa 33. ult 7. It should oblige me to forgive others Eph. 4 32. Col. 3. 13. 8. It should make me willing to be employed in any Service for God Isa 6. 7 8. Evidences of my Interest in and Vnion with Jesus Christ 1. Faith in Christ Joh. 17. 20 21. Christ prayeth that all that believe in him through the Word may be one in him and the Father always heareth him Joh. 11. 42. Now I find blessed be God that through the Word I do believe in Christ 2. Effectual Calling 1 Cor. 1. 9. 26. 30. God is faithful by whom ye were called Ye see your calling Ye are in Christ Jesus Now through mercy I find God hath called me out of darkness into his marvellous light he hath called me to the knowledge and Faith of Christ 3. Walking after the Spirit and not after the Flesh Rom. 8. 1. It is not said they that are in Christ have no flesh in them but they walk not after the flesh 4. Christs giving us his Spirit is an evidence that he abideth in us 1 Joh. 3. 24. Now I find by the fruits of the Spirit mentioned Gal. 5. 22 23. that God hath given me his Spirit and also by my being able to cry Abba Father Gal. 4. 6. 5. Crucifying the flesh with the affections and lusts thereof Gal. 5. 24. that is our corrupt nature with the works thereof mentioned v. 19 20 21. The flesh and lusts thereof is Crucified when so subdued that it doth not reign Rom. 6. 6. which I find blessed be God 6. Keeping Christs word 1 Joh. 2. 5. which I desire and endeavour The Comfort and Priviledge flowing from hence is that I am 1. Free from Condemnation Rom. 8. 1. 2. Assured of Glory Col. 1. 27. 1 Joh. 5. 12. 3. Interessed in Christs Wisdom Righteousness Sanctification and Redemption 1. Cor. 1. 30. 4. Interessed in all Spiritual and Heavenly blessings Eph. 1. 3. 5. Compleat in him though imperfect in my self Col. 2. 10. Evidences that God is my God 1. My being in Covenant with God Wherein the great blessing promised is that God will be our God Heb. 8. 10. and my being in Covenant is evidenced to my Soul by my coming to and closing with Christ the Mediator of
of the Lords Supper I found God gracious to me in preparation In the morning when I awaked God brought to my remembrance Jer. 2. 32. Can a maid forget her Ornaments or a Bride her attire I considered I was to meet and Sup with my Bridegroom the Lord Jesus and then considered what Ornaments and attire would best please him that I might put them on and these were presented to my thoughts some as I lay in bed and some afterwards as lovely and desirable in the sight of Christ which I determined to put on 1 st A meek and quiet Spirit 1 Pet. 3. 4. 2 ly Faith Cant. 4. 9. Thou hash ravished my heart my Sister my spouse with one of thine Eyes Faith hath the office of an Eye in the Soul Joh. 6. 40. Every one that seeth and believeth Looking unto Jesus Heb 12. 2. 3 ly Love Cant. 4. 10. How fair is thy Love my Sister c. 4 ly Humility Math. 11. 29. Learn of me for I am lowly in heart 5 ly Self-denial and forsaking of every thing that cometh in Competition with Christ Ps 45 10 11. Hearken O Daughter and consider forget thine own people and thy Fathers House So shall the King greatly desire thy beauty 6 ly An obediential frame of heart Math. 10. 20 21. All these have I observed from my youth Jesus beholding him Loved him 7 ly An heart resolved to hold and maintain frequent converse and communion with him Cant. 2. 14 Let me see thy countenance let me hear thy voice for sweet is thy voice and thy Countenance is Comely 8 ly Uprightness Prov. 11. 20. 9 ly An holy fear of God and hope in his mercy Ps 147. 11. 10 ly fruitfulness Cant. 4. 16 5. 1. But though God graciously assisted me in preparation yet in the time of receiving my heart was flat and dead As soon as the Sacrament was ended I retired to my Chamber to to pray and as I was praying that Scripture was brought to my remembrance Rom. 3. 3 4. shall their unbelief make the Faith of God of none effect God forbid I argued thence that the sins of my holy things my deadness and want of holy and due affections in time of receiving should not make void what God had promised in and by this ordinance but that the Cup was to me the Communion of the blood of Christ and the New Testament in his blood and the Bred the Communion of the body of Christ This did strengthen my faith to depend upon God for the benefits signified and sealed by that Ordinance notwithstanding the indisposition of my heart in the time of receiving Sept. 29. As I was musing on that rich promise made to Abraham Gen. 15. 1. Fear not Abraham I am thy shield and thy exceeding great reward Which is sufficient to bear up the Soul under the fear and danger of any Evil and against the loss and want of any good things I considered what warrant I had to apply that promise and presently that Scripture was hinted to me Gal. 3. 9. They which be of faith are blessed with faithful Abraham I was strengthened and Comforted by it Twice in this weak I observed that Setting upon worldly business which called hastily upon me before I had been at closet prayer and performed my usual meditations on the Covenant and promises of God my heart grew out of frame and unsavory and I was Successless on both days Oct. 1. Sabbath day At my Entrance on my morning meditation on Gods Covenant I had a great combate in my Spirit about my laying claim to God as my God having been lately foiled by my sins but God helped me and shewed me out of his word that I might and ought to keep my hold of God as my God Notwithstanding my often backslidings from him Jer. 3. 1 5 7 8. yet v. 19. saith God Thou shalt call me my Father Hos 2. 5. with 16. The same evening considering how often and greatly I had sinned and yet had been forgiven I pondered on that Scripture Luke 7 47. and saw that I had cause to love the Lord much because I had much forgiven and Considering how I should shew my Love to God and that much these Scriptures were hinted to me Ps 40. 16. Let such as love thy name say Continually let the Lord be Magnified Ps 97. 10. Ye that Love the Lord hate evil Joh. 14. 10. If ye Love me keep my Commandments Joh. 21. 15. Simon lovest thou me feed my sheep feed my Lambs Lord help me thus to shew much love to thee Oct. 8. Having been overtaken with the sin which easily besets me and hath often foiled me My Spirit fell and my faith flagg'd and I could not look upon God with any boldness was indisposed to prayer Yet in time of prayer God magnified his free grace to me and revived my Souls with that word 1 Joh. 2. 1 2. If any man sin we have an Advocate c. After I had ended my Supplications I pondered on that Scripture and was comforted against the sense of my sin by the Advocateship of Jesus Christ who pleadeth his propitiatory Sacrifice as a Satisfaction to his Fathers justice for the sins of believers as oft as they fall into them and querying with my self whether he would be an Advocate to me to plead for me I was satisfied from that word Joh. 6. 37. him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out I was also further encouraged from Heb. 7. 25. I considered that the Intercession of Christ answered all charges and accusations that could be brought against those for whom he interceded Rom. 8. 33. 34. and that the Intercession of Christ kept us â—o firmly in the love of God that nothing could be able to separate us from it Rom. 8. 34. 35 38 39. I considered further that the persons for whom he interceded were such as came to God by him and that he interceded for them at all times when they are fallen as well as when they stand when they are dead as well as when in a lively frame for He ever liveth to make intercession After these meditations my Spirit revived and notwithstanding I was before bowed down under the sense of guilt I went with boldness to God leaning upon the merits and Intercession of Jesus Christ Oct. 13. My Spirit being bowed down with the sense of guilt because I was foiled by a Sin against which I had prayed many years I was revived in reading in my course 2 Cor. 12. 7 8 9. Whence I observed 1 st God seeth it needful for some of his Servants to meet with buffeting 2 ly When God le ts loose any corruption a thorn in the flesh or a temptation a messenger of Satan to buffet us It is to keep us humble and from being exalted 3 ly God suffers his faithful Servants sometimes to pray long against corruption or temptation and yet cannot get it removed 4 ly Though my strength was not
and miserable to die in sin in a state of sin in the guilt of sin under the reign and power of sin in the arms and embraces of sin Sin being the transgression of a righteous Law the violation of infinite Holiness and Justice and rebellion against Divine Majesty and Authority it always hath demerit and guilt consequent upon it which obligeth and bindeth the sinner to undergoe that punishment which is naturally due to it Which punishment is Death Rom 1. 32. they which Commit such things are worthy of death Thus sin becomes the weapon or sting of Death by which it hath power to destroy Death cometh upon the Sinner as a bailiff or Sergeant from the Judge with warrant to apprehend and bring the Sinner to give account or as an executioner to take vengeance to pay the Sinner the just wages of his sin for the reparation of a broken Law for the satisfaction of offended Justice for the Declaration of Divine hatred and displeasure against sin and for the manifestation of Gods Glorious power and wrath against the guilty And what a terror must Death needs be when it appears in this shape and armed with this sting Know O presumptuous and secure Sinner Though wickedness be now sweet in thy mouth and thou hidest it under thy tongue Though thou swallowest down deliciously thy forbidden morsells of sensual pleasure and worldly gain yet this meat will soon be turned in thy bowels and become the gall of asps within thee At last at death it will bite as a serpent and sting like an adder What horrour will fill thy soul when approaching Death shall awaken thy sleepy Conscience as oft times it doth and thy awakened Conscience shall charge thee with thy inexcusable transgression of a Righteous Law thy gross neglect of Commanded duty thy industerious provision to satisfie the flesh thy ready compliance with the call of temptations thy irreparable loss of precious time Thy hypocritical dealing with God in Covenant the Stopping of thine eares at the voice of Conscience the shutting of thine eyes against the light of Scripture the hardening of thy heart against the motions of the Spirit thy unbelieving refusals of an offered Saviour thy unprofitable misimprovement of means of Grace thy unthankful abuse of the mercies of God and obstinate incorrigibleness under his Judgments with many other instances of multiplyed and aggravated sins through a long life Whence will arise dismal apprehensions of the wrath of an offended God a certain fearful expectation of Judgment to come and a pre-occupation of eternal torments and everlasting burnings This is that sting of Death the weapon wherewith it is armed against thee wherein Consists its power and by which it is so terrible 2. Add to this the strength which this sting hath from the Law For saith the Apostle The strength of sin is the Law and that two ways 1 st As the Law discovers and convinceth of sin Rom. 5. 13. Sin is not imputed where there is no Law Men are not prone to charge themselves with sin where there is no Law therefore Gal. 3. 19. the Law was added because of transgressions that is to make transgressions appear Hence we read Rom. 3. 20. By the Law is the knowledge of sin and Rom. 7. 9 13. I was alive without the Law once in my own opinion but when the Commandment came Sin revived and I died I was convinced I was in a state of Sin and death and v. 13. Sin by the Commandement becomes exceeding sinful Thus sin as the sting of Death is strengthned by the Law while men thereby are more cleerly and fully convinced of it and the greater the conviction is the sharper is the sting 2 ly As the Law Curseth and condemneth the sinner Gal. 3. 10. Cursed is every one that continueth not in all things which are written in the book of the Law to do them hence as before Rom. 7. 9. When the Commandment Came. I died and 2 Cor. 3. 7. The Law is called the Ministration of death The Law binds the sinner over to the Judgment of the great day It holds him fast under his guilt without hope of pardon passeth sentence of Condemnation upon him and begins the execution by wounding the Spirit terrifying the Soul with pre-apprehensions and foretasts of the wrath to come The sum of the terror of Death is this Approaching death awakeneth the secure Conscience Awakened Conscience charged with the guilt of sin This sin is strengthened with a Convincing cursing Law The dying wretch seeth his day of sensual delights and pleasures his day of worldly gains and purchases his day of Carnal fellowship with men and especially his day of Grace and mercy with God passing away finds his Spirit fainting his heart and flesh failing anguish and pangs taking hold of him and his soul forthwith to be Required Apprehended Arrested Summoned and haled out of his body from all freinds means helps and hopes to appear naked before God the Judge of all men to give an account of a sinful life and to receive a righteous doom viz. Depart from me ye Cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels and then to go away into everlasting punishment At this what heart of man can contain and possess himself without fear Who but must be appalled confounded amazed terrified Knowing the terror saith St. Paul 2 Cor. 5. 1. Speaking of this appearance and account Felix trembled saith St. Luke Act. 24. 25. When he heard of Judgment to come It is a fearful looking for of Judgment and fierie indignation saith the Author to the Hebrews chap. 10. 27. and a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God ver 31. Thus have we represented the Enemy Death in its power and pomp as it reigneth over the fallen Sons and Daughters of Adam which appears so terrible that woe be to those that fall under the power of it 2. We will now shew you this Enemy fallen and overcome before Believers Believers are Victorious over Death Object But saith Natural Carnal reason Is not this a great Paradox who will believe it One Enoch indeed was translated that he should not see Death and Elijah went up to Heaven in a fiery Chariot But else the Patriarchs and Prophets and Apostles and all the Saints in their Successive generations have yielded up to Death And doth not every day bear witness Are we not all here this day lamenting a very holy and Eminent Saint and Servant of Jesus Christ fallen by the stroke of Death Where then is the Victory And How is Death overcome Answ Notwithstanding all this yet Verily Death is overcome Not ut ne sit but ut ne obsit Not that it should not be but that it should not be hurtful to believers and this Victory consists in four things 1. Death is disarmed to believers that it cannot sting them When death cometh it finds no sin in them unpardoned no guilt remaining as an obligation