Gentlewoman and her Tongue sounds as loud as Bow-Bell As for her breath I must crave the help of the Poet to describe it But for her Breath Spectators come not nigh It lays about God bless the Company One Kiss and eighteen Words of her alone Put down the Spanish Inquisition Thrice blessed we quoth I when I think on The former days of persecution For were it free to kill this griesely Elf Would Martyrs make in compass of her self And were she not prevented by our Prayer By this time she corrupted had the Air The Man in the Bears-skin baited to Death Would choose the Dogs much rather than her Breath Then for her Neck it is like a pair of Stairs up to a Belfry and her shoulders able to bear the biggest Jest that can be put upon them Her Dugs are like two ore-worn Foot-Balls and her sides resembling the planks of a Cheese-press Her Wast would waste half an hours time to go about it being â—all and slender as a Windmill-Post Her Belly is like to the Tun at Heidleburge and her Buttocks and Thighs correspondent thereunto In brief she is one made up of Natures most deformities a natural Vizard like a Winters Apple shrunk up together and half rotten The young Gentlewoman laughed very heartily at Ricardo's description of this Lady Errant and thought it might be more Consonant to the truth than that delivered by Sir Billy That Ricardo said she perhaps may be the reason that your Master doth not carry the picture of his Mistress along with him as formerly Knights Errant were wont to do by which they used to Vindicate their Beauties in Justs and Tournaments against all opposers It would noâ— said Ricardo be worth a painters time to bestow so much cost on so ill-favoured a piece And I suppose my Master Fancies her more by imagination than any thing really what she is Whilst they were thus discoursing old Thomasio Sir Billy's Father having heard of the encounter his Son was â—o perform with the Coroner to whose Town Fame had trumpetted the report he resolved now to be even with him and to take such a course as should for ever spoil his Knight-Errantry He therefore being Armed with the Authority of a Justice of â—he Peace and attended by three or four lusty fellows seized upon Sir Billy unawares and with an angry countenance scattered in ruddy flakes of Wrath like to a chased Boar whom eager Hounds have at a Bay he thus spake to him Thou impudent Rascal which without restraint of shame or Modesty dost wander about under the notion of a Knight Vagrant nor will I take that Course with thee as we do with our Horses first I will shackle thee and if that will not do but that thou wilt still run at random then will I have thee put in such a pound where Old Men and Young Men are much alike for neither go far I mean Sirrah a Prison which is a place where a doublet with buttons is more out of Fashion than Trunk Breeches where people wear out their Lives like an old Suit the faster the better a house of meager looks and ill smells so cursed a piece of Land that the Son is ashamed to be his Fathers Heir in it And thither Sirrah shalt thou go if thou wilt not be ruled maugre all the Witchcraft of thy doubty Squire Ricardo who by his wicked spells stole away my Horses from the Inn whom I will cause to be punished in a more exemplary manner than thy self Ricardo heard all these words but trusting to the vertue of his Ring he feared not what Thomasio could do unto him But Sir Billy was struck with such a deep amazement at this sudden surprizal as if he had stared on the Gorgons Face and lookt like â—irces Prisoners when they found themselves Metamorphised into Beasts at last recovering the use of his speech he thus spake to old Thomasio Unhappy Father destructive to thy Country and envious to posterity that is to come who by thy obstinâ—cy wilt deprive after Ages of the benefit they might have received by my unconquerable Valour But the Justice seeing him to run into his former extravagancies and being now wearied with his impertinencies he resolved to send him by force home with his Father and therefore bid him prepare to go and that willingly or else he would take such a course with him as should for ever spoil his Knight Errantry But Sir Billy pleaded it was against the Law of Arms to deal Injuriously with Knights Errant who ought to be hospitably received where-ever they come as Men who had denoted themselves for the good of their Country and that they were above any Law of Justices â—orâ—under the Cognisance of any Magistrate as being fellows to Kings and Princes many of which had been of that profession tâ—emselves But the Justice would not suffer him any longer to run on in his wild extravagancies but commanded his Servants to lay hold of him and also to fetch in Ricardo that they might be both pack't away together but this was easier commanded than performed for Ricardo slâ—pping on his Invisible-Ring was no where to be seen yet câ—nâ—â—dâ—ring the Justice was now about to order them sower sauce to their sweet Meat he was resolved to have one bout with them before he went and therefore whilst old Thomasio was making his complaint to the Justice Ricardo standing behind â—lapt his hand on his Mouth so often on and off that the old Man could say nothing but fa fi fum whereupon the Justice taking him to be an old doating Fool and that his Son was the more excusable as taking his folly originally from his Parents he therefore bid him hie him Home again and both of them ply their Business better or else instead of being pittyed for their folly they might be soundly lâ—sht for their Knavery Ricardo listned very attentively to the Justâ—ces diâ—course and seeing he was so liberal of his Whippiâ—g chear he was resolved to bestow a cast of his office upon him so stepping unto him he so pulled and tweaged the Justice by the Nose that he roared and bellowed like a Colchester-Bull Now was the whole House in a great Consternation hearing the Justice so to take on Old Thomasio all the while crying out upon Ricardo calling him Witch Wizard Negromancer Sorcerer Soothsayer Charmer Devil and all the other opprobrious names he could reckon uâ— The Justice herewith was in a terrible Scare anâ— commanded Ricardo should be immediately laid hold on but being search't for in every place he could no where be found Sir said Thomasio this Ricardo is the left hand of the Devil a right Lancashire Witch who can change himself into what shape he pleases and who knows but that he may turn himself into a Flea and so skip into your Daughters Bed I tell you it is a dangerous thing and if she should prove with Child a Man might easily guess who was the Father The whole Company
see thâ— Show Billy knowing that Knights Er rant were priviledged to pass any wheâ—â— without Money refused to pay where upon he was stopped from going in at which incensed he drew his Sword threatning Death to any who should oppose him and so without any further opposition ran into the Chamber where the Gyants were placed upon a Table ready to be shown Sir Billy no sooner saw them but quick as lightning he fell upon them with his trusty Sword Rosero making such havock amongst them that the Master of the Show like a man distracted ran out crying help help Murther Murther for his Gyants were kill'd before the fight begun This hideous out-cry presently raised a confused rabble who running in fell upon Billy belabouring him as he had done the Poppets who yet so valiantly behaved himself that twice or thrice he put them to the retreat when at last came the Constable attended with six or eight rusty Bill-men who commanded him in the Kings Name to keep the Peace Thou wicked Negromaâ—cer said Sir Billy I defy thee and all the Gyants in the World And with that fell upon the Constable with might and main dealing such blows as Hector when he hew'd down the Greeks But alass what can single valour do against a multitude Hercules himself may be overmacht by number One of the watchmen coming behind him Cowardly knock'd him down with his Halbert and now there lay sprawling on the Ground our young Bevis our Amadis Palmendos or what you will please to call him In the mean time the people abroad had seiz'd on Ricardo demanding of him what mad-man that was he came withal and for what reason they went so clad in Armor That Magnâ—nimous Hero said Ricardo which you saw is the Victorious Knight at Arms Sir Billy of Billerecay and I his Squire Don Ricardo Born to be the Governour of an Island when my Master can conquer iâ— the reason why we go in Armor is because it is the Custom of Knight Errants and Squire Errants so to do These words made the people to think they were a couple of mad-men and therefore securing their Horses they put both the Knight and his Squire in the Cage Billy inclosed in this wooden Tenement began to rage exceedingly Vile Miscreants said he the off spring of Vipers and Poysonous Toads Enemies to Magnanimity and Foes to true Chevalry think not although by your damned spells you have Captivated my Body yet I question not but by the help of the Sage Freston I shall be delivered from your Inchantments Then will I work my revenge upon you laying the lofty Battlements of your buildings which seem to vye with the Pyramids of Egypt equal with the dust like to that glorious Phrigian City of King Priamus now overspread with stinking weeds and loathsome Puddles your Wives and Children I will send into banishment and bring you into such intolerable Thâ—aldom that the Torments of Sisiphus Tantalus nor Oedipus shall be comparable to those I will inflict upon you These his raging words made the Boys to hoot at him whilst Ricardo sat sighing to see his hopes of an Island come to a Cage which yet his Master would needs perswade him was done by Inchantment Have you not read said he how the seven Champions of Christendom having killed the Gyants which belonged to Leoger the Knight of the black Castle yet by a Magician they were cast upon a Bed from whence they could not stir until they were delivered by St. Georges three Sons But said Ricardo I cannot Imagine that he was a Magician that put us into this Cage but such another man of Office as we have at Billerecay which they call a Constable because he had in his hand a â—ainted Staff which shewed him to be a Man iâ— Authority That said Billy proceeds from your Ignorance not knowing that a Magician can transform himself into what shape he pleases does not the Devil sometimes take upon him the likeness of a Broâ—â—er sometimes of a Horse Courser sometimes of a Bum-Bayliff under which Shapes â—e acts so many Roguries for no Man of himself can do such wickednesses but only the Devil that assumes their Shapes Whilst the Knight and his Squire were thus discoursing the Constable came to fetch them before a Justice at which news Ricardo wept bitterly but Billy was so firm in his determination that you might as soon have removed the Earth from its Center or stopped the Sun in his diurnal Course as to have caused him to alter his mind or think that those Books of Knight Errantry were not undoubted verity and as true as the voice of Jove it self The Justice though grave and solid in his office yet was one who much delighted in mirth and harmless Sport who being informed of all what had pass'd much admired at the ones boundless extravagancy and the others harmless simplicity The Master of the Show made a grievous complaint against him of the wrong he had sustained Never said he after a Battel did you behold the dismembred Limbs of slaughtered Carcases lie so Scattered about as in this Skirmish here lay an Arm there a Leg especially my Gyant Goliah was so bemangled that his ruinated Carcase was not fit for a Scare-Crow At that word Scare-Crow Ricardo stepping forth said My Master never has so ill Fortune as when he encounters with Scare-Crow Gyants And thereupon told the Justice of the blows they had received by encountring with the Scare Crow Gyant as is related in the Second Chapter The Justice was so highly pleased with this discourse that he resolved with himself to further the humor and so giving the Master of the Show ten pound for damage he discharged the Constable of him and invited the Knight and his Squâ—re home to his House where he feasted them Royally which made Ricardo begin afresh to have a good opinion of Knight Errantry for feeding was more agreeable to his Nature by far than Fighting And now Sir Billy began a little to be more reconciled to reason and to discourse without rageing whereupon the Justice desired him to honour him so much as to give him an account of his forepassed Life that by that means posterity might be informed of his Heroick Acts and by reading his Life leave an Example for posterity to imitate Sir said Billy Courtesy is one of the vertues inherent to Knight Errantry and I having received so many Favours from you for my self and my Squire cannot in gâ—atitude do less than to give you an impartial account of what you desire which yet howsoever is but only the beginning of what I intend shall be performed by my Victorious Arm. Know then said he most worthy Governour of this Famous City that the place which will be for ever Honoured by my Birth is the Town of Billerecay in the County of Essex my Parents happy in producing a Son of such Magnanimity as the Gods have endued me with to be the preserver of Innocence
Wedding what a Trick he served an Old Fornicator and how he went in pursuit of his Master AMongst other places whether the Fame of this Challenge did spread was the Town of Billerecay wherein dwelt Thomasio the Father of Sir Billy who hearing of his Sons challenge resolved to encounter him with a Justices Warrant for the recovery of his two Horses and if it were possible to change his Son from a Knight Errant to a Plough-Man again and withal threatning to have Ricardo severely punished to which purpose he easily obtained a Warrant of the same Justice from whom Ricardo before had taken away the Bottle of Wine And being thus armâ—d with better Authority than his Son had for his Knight-Errantry he took his way directly to the Sage Frestons where he had taken Sir Billy Napping had not Ricardo by chance heard of his coming for Thomasio whom Age had brought to the downfalâ— of his mellow Years being as most Old Men are very Tuchy and Cholerick could not forbear to give out threatning Words what he would do unto them before he had gotten his prey into his hand Wherefore Ricardo having notice of his intent was minded to frustrate his expeâ—â—ation and giving his Master Billy notice thereof he speedily packed him away himself staying behind to see what would be the event thereof not doubting when the worst came to come off well enough by the help of his Invisible-Ring And indeed he quickly found himself to have need of such help for Thomasio finding his Son Billy to have escaped his hands resolved Ricardo should pay for all and so by vertue of his Warrant seized upon him threatning him with so many punishments and such diversity of Torments that if words would have done it Ricardo had dyed a Thousand Deaths In this passion he was hurried before the Sage Freston who as we told you before was Justice of those parts to whom Thomasio made a grievous complaint how that Ricardo was both a Thief and a Conjurer that he had stolen his Horses and intic'd away his Son and for ought he knew made him away and therefore desired he might be severely punished But Sir said he if you have not a carâ— he will escape your hands for he hath learned Hocus pocus tricks during his Knight Rascality by which he can make himself and Bottles of Wine to become Invisible as he served our Justice not long ago and therefore I do accuse him for a Witch and that as a Witch he may be burnt to death at a stake To this Ricardo answered that he had done nothing but what was warrantable by the Laws of Knight-Errantry according as his Master had informed him for said he did you ever read in any Books of Chevalry that Knights-Errant and their Squires went about to seek out Adventures on Foot and therefore since his Master must have Horses who could furnish him better than his Father Nor are we said he to be troubled or molested for whatsoever we do since Knights Errant are Lawless and if the Knights be Lawless by consequence the Squires are Lawless too Ricardo's words made the whole Company to laugh when in the very nick of time came the Justice of Billerecay from whom Ricardo had taken the Bottle of Wine invited thither by the Fame oâ— Sir Billy's Challenge Ricardo seeing him come thought it was time to be gone thinking he would disclose the Trick he had shown him which indeed he quickly did in all its circumstances but the strangeness of the thing could gain no Credence with the Sage Freston who said he would try if he could serve him such a Trick and thereupon commanded three or four Bottles of Sack to be fetch'd and set on the Table Ricardo seeing and hearing all what was done thought it now high time to act his part and thereupon slipping on his Ring he seizes upon two of the Bottles and clapping them under his Coat marched cleverly away with them to the Astonishment of all there present especially to the Sage Freston who now began to think that Ricardo and his Master instead of two simple Fellows were a couple of crafty Knaves But notwithstanding Ricardo went away laughing with his Booty yet was his heart sorrowful as dreading what would be the effects of that which they had done for though he put great confidence in his Invisible-Ring as a sure protection for him in all his extremities yet hearing how vehemently Old Thomasio had accused him for Witchcraft and that if he should be taken unawares before he could put the Ring on his Finger it might be taken from him and all his forepassed actions laid to his Charge which last he had committed he thought would be none of the least in abusing him by whom they had been so kindly entertained for now he perceived that notwithstanding all his Masters brags of Conquering Castles and Islands the purchase they were likeliest to get was only a Jayle He therefore resolved not to expose himself to any danger more than needs must and to that purpose kept the Ring on his Finger until he travelled many Miles whereby he prevented his being taken by those which the Sage Freston had sent after him For these two Justices after his departure seeing how they were deluded had sent both Horse and Man to take him some of which Ricardo saw pass by him enquiring of every one they met after such a person When a new project came into Ricardo's Head to make them leave off their pursuit which was this He gets behind an Oak and making an hideous noise as it were the croaking of Ravens bellowing of Bulls anâ— braying of Asses mixt together which made them all stand still as amaz'd at what they heard and having gotten them so together with a loud bellowing voice thus he said I am the Oak which the ancients of Old Consecrated to Jupiter in whose Name I straitly charge ye to pursue no further after Ricardo Squire to the Invincible Knight at Arms Sir Billy of Billerecay seeing he is one whom we have taken into our safe Protection and whosoever shall offer him the least Injury we shall be severely revenged on him The messengers hearing such a hideous Voice and seeing no peâ—son notwithstanding they rounded the Oak Tree twice or thrice about were wonderfully amazed not knowing what to do and there being never a Knight-Errant among them which fear no danger but are fool-hardy in all attempts they thereupon concluded to return home as being sufficiently warranted by the voice which they heard which when Ricardo saw he laughed heartily to himself at those Sons of fear as Men who were afraid of the Swords which themselves wore and affrighted at the clashing of their own Armor The messengers thus returning homewards with a sleeveless excuse of a fruitless Arrand Ricardo passed on his way but still diversity of thoughts perplexed his mind what Course of Life to take whether to seek out his Master Billy and pursue Squire Errantry
further increased so our affections grew more and more and arriving to those years wherein the God of Love maketh the hearts of his subjects to dote more upon a Mistress than an old man on his heaps of Gold I then began to reveal my affections unto her which found such a Friendly reception that by mutual vows and promises we contracted our selves each to other But the foul pale Hog Envy that banquetâ— her self in others miseriâ—s repining at our happiness had caused the heart of a certain Smith of our Town to be Captivated by the charming looks of mâ— Rosaro for so was my Love called who with mucâ— earnestness declared his affection unto her usinâ— many vows and protestations of the reality of hâ—â— Love but her heart was so deeply linked to mâ— that whatsoever she was was only mine she gaâ—â— him so sharp a denial that his Love converting 〈◊〉 hatred he burnt with revengful fury against her and from thenceforth waited only for an opportunity to put his designs in execution which at last he brought to pass as you see for confederating himself with a couple of Fellows the Devils Factors for all wickedness and such whom an honest Man can neither see nor speak of without a blush These having intelligence that Rosaro was to go to an Aunt of hers that liveth hard by and that I was to accompany her way laid us and having seized on us brought us to this Barn where over-powring our weak resistance and having brought cords with them for the Execution of their damn'd intents they in conclusion hanged us up as you saw Sir Billy listened very attentively to this discourse and being exceedingly moved at it he swore by the bloody Falshion of Mars that e'er Don Phoebus had run his diurnal Course three times about our Hemisphire be would take such exemplary punishment on the Smith and his perfidious Mateâ— that Babes unborn shall tremble at the narration of it Whilst he was thus speaking the Smith whose guilty Conscience feared a discovery having found out his Companions returned again with an intent to murther Sir Billy Ricardo and old Geâ—ion to prevent their giving any knowledge of him But having entred the Barn and seeing the Taylor alive whom they supposed to be dead they immediately set upon him and were as quickly set upon by Sir Billy and this being the justest cause he fought in his success was answerable thereunto for at the second stroak he cut the Smith so deep a gash on the Wrist as made him to drop his Club and quite disarmed him of any further resistance which being by the Taylor espyed he snatches up the Smiths Club and seconded by Ricardo they Jointly set upon the other two and now were many blows given and received on each side when old Gerion whose courage was still good though his strength infirm not loving to be Idle when so necessary a work was to be done being armed with a great walking staff as commonly Beggars go so guarded he gave one of the Rogues such a rap on the pate as made him to stagger and seconding it with another laid him at his Feet streaking his heels the Third party seeing this would have run for it but being surrounded by them all four he was forced to abide his fate and whilst he was defending himself against old Gerion and Ricardo who faced him with their Weapons Sir Billy being behind him gave him such a wound on the head as felled him to the earth and sent his Soul to dwell in the lower Regions there to inhabit with the damned in burning Beds of Steel Roasted in Sulpher and washt in deâ—p vast gulphs of Liquid Fire The Smith in the mean time through the loss of so much Blood as issued from his Wound was fallâ—n into a deep swound so that he seemed for the present to be inroled in the Regiment of Death but his Companion who had been knockt down by old Gerion being of a strong robustious Nature reviving again began for to bustle as if he would again try for the Victory which being perceived by Sir Billy he ran to him and with his Sword gave him such a Blow on the head as made him once more to measure his full length on the Earth and then setting his Foot on his breast and the point of his Sword to his Throat he said to him Vile Mâ—screant or rather Devil in Hose and Doublet the impostume of all corruptions and abstract of all wickedness Now will I send thy Soul to be an inhabitant in the glooming dwellings of Damâ—ed Spirits there to bathe it self in pools of Scalding Oyl and Sulpher which thou hast worthily deserved by contracting such a Load of Guilt that lies heavy on thy blood-thirsty Conscience The Murthering Villain hearing such thundring Words roared out like a Town Bull craving and crying out for Mercy when a new crotchet coming into Sir Billy's noddle he said unto him I yield thee Mercy though unworthy of it but upon condition that thou go and present thy self upon thy knees as vanquished by my Yiâ—â—orious Arm unto the Lady of my Affections the most renowned Dulcina of Billerecay and this you shall Swear to do upon my Sword I willingly yield to your conditions said the dissembling Villain and shall swear Faithfully to perform it Whereupon Sir Billy let him rise and was about to give him his Oath which the young Man perceiving and that he intended to let him go Sir said he It is not fase nor convenient so to do for this Man being a Murtherer ought according to the Law to be had before a Justice of the Peace to be by him examined and secured that he may receive the reward of his deserts Sir Biâ—ly having heard what he said with a vehement indignation replyed Thou speakest said he like one altogether ignorant of the Laws of Knight Errantry ought not the Conquerer to dispose of the Conquered as he pleases was not he suâ—dued by the Force of mâ— invincible Arm and therefore to be by me dâ—â—poseâ— of according to my own will and pleasure now since my valour whereby I conquered him came by the inspiration of my Lady Dulcina ought not she in retribution thereof to have the honour of this submission as being magnetically performed by her But this said the Taylor is so notorious a villain and his crime so Capital that being once got free he will never come near her nor ever make any submission unless he be forced to do it to the Gallows Why said Sir Billy have I not his Oath to perform it His Oath quoth the Taylor is not to be regarded for he who fears not to commit Murther will make no Conscience to forswear himself Whilst they were thus arguing the Case the Constable of the Parish who had a Warrant for the pressing of some Soldiers being guarded with Four lusty men came to that place it being a Common receptacle for sturdy loytering Beggars and Vagabonds when beholding the
any in particular he thought to catch them by craft and therefore pulling out a Jack in a Box some Counters and Dice to do more feats withall he lays them as it were carelesly upon the Table yet still had a special eye who took them Ricardo thought what was his drift yet dreading not his policy boldly steps to the Table and quickly made them Invisible The Jugler seeing the rest of his things to be gone thus without hands stood like one that was stupified or like Stags at a gaze as if his understanding were in an extasie At last he swore there was some Conjurer amongst them whose Art was far transcendent above his for he did but play the Devil in Jest but they had plaid the Devil with him in Earnest At this the whole Company burst out into such a laughter as if they had for ever banisht all melancholly from their Society This exceeding mirth made Hocus more vext then before so that he began to swear like a Culter for having now lost his Tools he might even shut up Shop for any thing he could do And now a new project of mirth came into the noddle of one of the Company who perswaded the Jugler that Sir Billy had taken away his things and that to get them again there was no way but using him roughly which he should not need fear to do because Sir Billy what ever he bragged himself to be was but a meer Hony-sop a dish of skim'd Milk whose Feet was his best defence and his Tongue his best Weapon The Jugler animated herewith steps to Sir Billy and said Sir I understand you have gotten my things and therefore pray give me them again without any more Fooling which if you refuse to do I shall make you such an Example of my wroth and Indignation as shall make you curse the time that eâ—er you saw me Sir Billy hearing such threatning words from one he thought so much beneath him in great anger replyed Thou wicked Inchanter unworthy to live upon the Face of the Earth who hast made a league with Hell and a Covenant with the Devil to be his Servant Think not by thy wicked Charms to escape my fury for if thou hadst as many hands as Briareus and in every hand there were a Sword yet would I encounter with thee my Valour being such as to know â—o fear in my self yet to teach it others that have to do with me And thereupon drawing his Sword began to lay on load upon Hocus who seeing Sir Billy was in earnest thought his best refuge to be his Heels running with such hasty steps as if his feet scarce toucht the Ground being more swift in his flight than Daphne when she fled from the imbraces of Apollo whereupon the Company gave such a shout as made the House to Ring their loud exclamations cleaving the yielding Air like the roaring of a whole Herd of Lyons or if it could be greater than the Noise of Ten Irish Funerals Sir Billy seeing his flight so swift thought it in vain to pursue him any further and thereupon returned in as great State as the Macedonian Victor from the Conquest of Darius The Justice meeting him congratulated his success giving him as much praise as if it had been the thirteenth labour of Alcides the other persons also each one in proper words sought to magnifie this his enterprize although an attempt so inconsiderable that had the Jugler had but as much valour as an Humble-Bee with a dozen of dangerous words in his mouth he might have resisted him with a Bull-Rush By this time the Coroner was come to the House and a Jury impannelled to enquire about the two dead Persons The first witness thaâ— was examined was Sir Bilâ—y who being requested to tell his knowledge in the particulars spake as followeth You shall know Courteous Gentleman that by profession I am a Knight Errant an Order of all others the most beneficial to mankind which were it highly cherished as it is deserving it would encourage many noble Spirits to the profession thereof by whose manly prowess all Tyrants and oppressors of the Poor being suppressed we should have no need of Lawyers Attorneys nor Soliciters who pretending to right people in their causes do them more wrong by their extortions and Fees than they received by the parties against whom they sued In the prosecution of these Knightly adventures it was my Fortune or rather lucky Chance to come to an old ruinated Castle attended only by my Squire Ricardo and an Old Gentleman one of the Knights of Industry Into this solitary Receptacle being entered to shade us from the burning beams of the refulgent Sun we espyed there a most sad and dolorus spectacle a Woman hanged and a Man hanging with little hopes of Life in either which we had scarce leisure to view when a lusty stout robustious fellow rushed from forth the place and winged with hast ran away as swift as the sweeping stream or winged Arrow He being gone we cut the young Man down who was near entred into the Territories of Death yet by helps that was used he was brought again to the possession of Life as you see there standing before ye but the Woman who was the Lady of his Affections notwithstading all endeavourâ— which we used we could never perswade her sullen Soul for to re-enter into her Body but Lifes Caâ—dle was quite extinct in her Whilst we were thus fruitlesly employed in the recovery of the Maid the murdering Villain who had ran from us before now returned again with two others who had been partners with him in his Butcherly design and setâ—ing upon us thought to have made us a morsel for the Jaws of Death and with their Clubs have signed our Passport into another Worâ—d but I perceiving what was their intentions drawing my Sword and invocating the Lady Dulcina for aid set upon the Villains and in an instant brought two of them to the Ground of which Death the Graves Purveyor took possession of one the other soon after recovered whom we brought unto you as also the third who though he ran away from me yet was brought back again by my Squire Ricardo and the Knight of Industry with some others who came into our assistance although had I been alone the strength of my Victorious Arm had been enough to have Conquered them all The whole Company highly applâ—uded Sir Biâ—ly's valour as a true Son of Mars that derides Death and meets with Triumph in a Tomb. Afterwards was the Taylor examined as also old Gerion and Ricardo who agreeing all in one Tale the Jury found the Maids to be wilful Murther and the killing of the Fellow done in their own defence The Justice being a bountiful House-keeper inviâ—ed the Coroner and Jury as also Sir Billy Ricardo and old Gerion to Dinner which he had caused to be provided for them against they had done After Dinner the Justice and Coroner fell into a deep discourse
the Coroner being of Opinion that the Order of Knights Errant was a needless Idle unnecessary imployment for that the Laws being so open wrongs might be redressed and the oppressed eased far better by the Law than by their Swords which oâ—â—entimes for want of due knowledge of the case did far greater wrong than right And as for Books of Chevalry he Judged them to be very prejudicial to a well-governed Common-Wealth wherein Men might bestow their time better than in reading Figments impossibilities and in many of them incitements rather to looseness and Vanity than any instructions to vertuous Living To this the Justice replyed That Knights Errant have in former Ages been applauded by learned Persons for such was Hercules whose going about and destroying Gyants and Monsters was no other than Knight-Errantry and for which they honoured him as a God and then for reading Books of Chevalry what prejudice could come by reading them for the subjects of them being known to be fabulous and figments no man's faith is beguiled nor any perswaded to believe them as a truth rather on the contrary where the minds of the vulgar are not busied in some such pleasant arguments they fall upon matters which less concerns them and become troublesome Judges of the State and Church wherein they live and therefore it hath been accounted great Policy to divert Men's Fancies by reading such Romances Many other ways might be invented said the â—oroner to divert Mens Fancies than this destructive one of reading such Books which the better they are Writ the more dangerous they are for some young people are so inâ—entive upon them that they imagine themselves to be such as they read of And such a one I suppose this young man to be who by reading Books of Knight Errantry would Fool himself into a conceit that he is a Knight Errant But such people so conceited ought not to be soothed up in their Follies but rather sharply reproved and if that will not mend them then either let them be sent to Beâ—lam or Whipped at a Carts-Tayle until this foolish humour be Whipped out of them Sir Billy was in such a rage to hear these words that the Icy Current of his frozen blood kindled up in agonies as hot as flames of burning Sâ—lphur fretting and fuming like a piece of Gumm'd Velvet Monster of all wicked Men said he whom I cannot name without spitting after it for fear of being poysoned could thy malice vent it self in nothing but speaking against the most noble Order of Knight-Errantry nor know I whether thy envy or arrogancy be greatest in it nor what punishment is equivalent to such high presumption yet shall not thy male pertners escape unpunished if my trusty Sword sail me not and therefore if thou art as valiant of thy hands as thou hast been prodigal of thy Tongue I challenge thee out into the field to fight with me which if thou shalt deny to do I shall proclaim thee the most Cowardly Carpet Knight that ever wore Sword only valiant in Voice but at the fight of an Enemy ready to run away from thy self The Coroner who was a Man well skill'd at his Weapon and with Courage answerable to his skill scorning to be out-braved by such a Princocks was resolved to chastise his folly and therefore told him that though it were beneath him to answer one so inconsiderable yet least his rashness should take that to be fear which was only contempt he would answer him at any time place or weapon he should appoint bidding him be sure in making his words good of what he had promised or else he would be a shame unto the Order he did profess And I quoth Ricardo Squire unto the renowned Knight Sir Billy of Billerecay do challenge the Squire that belongeth to the Knight which is to fight with my Master at any Weapon he shall propose to fight withal so it be such a Weapon as former Squires to Knights Errant used for to fight withal This unexpected Challengâ— of Ricardo put all the Company into a merry kind of amazement endeavouring by all means to have the humor go forward There was at that time attending on the Coroner a young Man much about the Age and stature of Ricardo who hearing this Challenge desired his Master he might accept of it which being granted him he told Ricardo he should be answered at his own Weapon at the time and place when their Masters did fight All things being thus agreed they next consult of the time and place when and where it should be done Sir Billy would have had a fortnights space and that in the mean time Messengers should be sent abroad to declare by sound of Trumpet in all Market-Towns and general assemblies of this their fight But the Justice and Coroner not willing to have a private divertisement made so publick would not agree to it so at last it was concluded to be the second day after in a large Meadow behind the Justices House during which time the four Combatants prepared themselves for the Encounter which how it was performed on both sides we shall in the next Chapter the sacred nine assisting in our endeavours in full and ample manner declare unto you CHAP. 15. Sir Billy's Encounter with the Coroner How he was relieved by Ricardo His admirable description of his Mistress With Ricardo's Counterbuff thereto SOON had wide mouth'd Tatling Fame dispersed the News of the combat betwixt Sir Billy and the Coroner so that at the day appointed there was a great concourse of people to behold the same The Old Justice had the day before highly caressed Sir Billy and his Daughter a Virgin of about sixteen years of Age gave him all the encouragement she could bestowing a Ribbon upon him to wear on his Hâ—t telling him that if he overcame him he should be her Knight and that she should account her self the most happy Woman in the World to have such a Servant I think my self extraordinarily engaged to you for your goodness said Sir Billy and doubt nâ—t Madam of my success it being in the vindication of those noble Knights Amadis de Gaule Sir Hâ—on of Bourdeauâ— Don Belianis of Greece Palmerin of England Orlando Fâ—rioso Don Flores of Greece Sir Guy of Warwick Bevis of Southampton and abundance of other noble Heroes who spending their time in Arms dyed in the Bed of Honour whose memory this foul Miscreant seeks to deprave and that with such opprobrious words enough to raise the Ghost of those deceased Worthies out of their Graves to vindicate their own Honour had not the Fates allotted me in this latter Age to be a Brother of that noble Society for the punishment of all those who shall offer to villifie such a noble profitable Honourable Order You have reason in what you say replyed the Damosel for should such noble Orders fall into contempt it would be a great discouragement to vertuous entâ—rprizes and then for want of such