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assembly_n nor_o rejoice_v in_o any_o company_n but_o sit_v in_o her_o chamber_n pensive_a alone_o because_o of_o the_o lord_n hand_n that_o be_v upon_o she_o and_o because_o he_o have_v fill_v she_o with_o indignation_n hence_o her_o pain_n be_v perpetual_a and_o her_o wound_n seem_v to_o be_v incurable_a jer._n 15.17_o 18._o what_o the_o poet_n speak_v extravagant_o of_o niobe_n weep_v be_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n true_a of_o she_o from_o week_n end_v to_o week_n end_n her_o eye_n be_v seldom_o dry_a as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o joseph_n at_o the_o sight_n of_o his_o brother_n benjamin_n gen._n 43.30_o and_o he_o seek_v where_o to_o weep_v and_o he_o enter_v into_o his_o chamber_n and_o weep_v there_o she_o be_v almost_o always_o in_o her_o chamber_n still_o weep_v there_o indeed_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a matter_n at_o least_o some_o particular_a time_n to_o get_v she_o out_o of_o her_o chamber_n though_o many_o godly_a people_n out_o of_o love_n and_o pity_n to_o she_o do_v often_o attempt_v it_o her_o chamber_n be_v as_o the_o valley_n of_o tear_n in_o which_o even_o with_o a_o eagerness_n of_o mind_n she_o immure_v herself_o and_o i_o be_o persuade_v will_v have_v live_v there_o and_o die_v there_o if_o she_o have_v be_v leave_v to_o herself_o she_o can_v not_o bear_v much_o company_n nor_o endure_v to_o be_v where_o any_o thing_n of_o mirth_n though_o never_o so_o innocent_a be_v one_o instance_n among_o many_o i_o will_v give_v you_o i_o very_o well_o remember_v and_o shall_v do_v while_o i_o live_v that_o one_o day_n baptise_v mr._n millerd_n child_n a_o brother_n of_o our_o church_n there_o be_v provision_n make_v ready_a and_o several_a christian_a friend_n invite_v to_o partake_v of_o it_o among_o who_o be_v mrs._n mary_n father_n and_o mother_n as_o we_o be_v sit_v down_o to_o table_n i_o ask_v her_o mother_n why_o her_o daughter_n be_v not_o with_o she_o she_o tell_v i_o she_o can_v not_o persuade_v she_o to_o come_v whereupon_o i_o desire_v the_o people_n of_o the_o house_n to_o stop_v serve_v up_o of_o dinner_n and_o i_o will_v try_v what_o i_o can_v do_v which_o they_o willing_o agree_v to_o i_o immediate_o repair_v to_o she_o and_o find_v a_o gentlewoman_n in_o the_o chamber_n with_o she_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o acquaint_v she_o with_o the_o occasion_n of_o my_o come_n oh_o how_o much_o dissatisfied_a she_o seem_v to_o be_v and_o earnest_o beg_v i_o to_o desist_v any_o far_o talk_v about_o it_o i_o tell_v she_o plain_o i_o will_v have_v no_o denial_n and_o so_o renew_v my_o press_v she_o go_v with_o i_o the_o gentlewoman_n also_o back_v the_o motion_n with_o her_o earnest_a persuasion_n but_o we_o both_o of_o we_o find_v work_n enough_o to_o prevail_v with_o she_o and_o be_v so_o long_o about_o it_o that_o dinner_n be_v almost_o spoil_v at_o last_o rather_o weary_v than_o overcome_v by_o violent_a importunity_n she_o give_v i_o her_o hand_n and_o away_o i_o bring_v she_o but_o she_o walk_v like_o a_o shadow_n and_o sit_v at_o the_o table_n like_o a_o ghost_n she_o speak_v nothing_o eat_v very_o little_a and_o nobody_o dare_v speak_v to_o she_o for_o they_o see_v the_o bitterness_n of_o her_o heart_n be_v very_o great_a and_o the_o dolour_n of_o her_o soul_n be_v very_o grievous_a as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v return_v thanks_o she_o slip_v from_o the_o company_n and_o forthwith_o retire_v to_o her_o belove_a privacy_n where_o her_o head_n be_v constant_o as_o water_n and_o her_o eye_n as_o a_o fountain_n of_o tear_n this_o piâ—ing_a saint_n whilst_o live_v seem_v as_o dead_a in_o darksome_a chamber_n hang_v down_o her_o head_n refuse_v comfort_n or_o to_o taste_v of_o bread_n she_o she_o at_o last_o be_v to_o the_o live_a fountain_n lead_v five_o as_o after_o conviction_n she_o be_v a_o secret_a mourner_n so_o she_o be_v a_o secret_a wrestler_n with_o god_n private_a prayer_n be_v she_o daily_o and_o her_o nightly_a work_n though_o she_o will_v often_o tell_v i_o and_o that_o with_o bitter_a sigh_n and_o sob_n in_o a_o bemoan_v way_n she_o can_v not_o pray_v her_o mouth_n be_v close_v and_o her_o heart_n be_v bar_v but_o by_o what_o i_o gather_v out_o of_o her_o answer_n to_o my_o question_n i_o plain_o find_v she_o do_v little_a else_o but_o pray_v indeed_o her_o pray_v be_v for_o the_o most_o part_n like_o hannah_n she_o speak_v in_o her_o heart_n only_o her_o lip_n move_v but_o her_o voice_n be_v not_o hear_v 1_o sam._n 1.13_o and_o in_o this_o pray_v according_a to_o our_o saviour_n rule_n mat._n 6.6_o she_o enter_v into_o her_o closet_n and_o shut_v the_o door_n and_o pray_v to_o her_o father_n in_o secret_a who_o see_v the_o prostrate_a debase_v posture_n she_o be_v in_o who_o hear_v the_o deep_a sob_n and_o groan_n of_o her_o deject_a soul_n and_o gracious_o vouchsafe_v his_o ear_n unto_o she_o so_o that_o after_o long_o offer_v up_o of_o prayer_n and_o supplication_n like_o her_o dear_a redeemer_n before_o she_o with_o strong_a cry_v and_o tear_n unto_o he_o who_o be_v able_a to_o save_v she_o from_o spiritual_a and_o eternal_a death_n be_v at_o last_o hear_a in_o that_o she_o fear_v she_o never_o think_v i_o pray_v too_o often_o in_o secret_a with_o she_o and_o she_o never_o think_v she_o pray_v too_o often_o in_o secret_a by_o herself_o and_o now_o her_o mournful_a pray_v be_v turn_v into_o joyful_a praising_n now_o her_o doleful_a sigh_v be_v turn_v into_o melodious_a sing_v now_o her_o heart_n break_v groan_n be_v turn_v into_o loud_a acclamation_n of_o halelujah_n for_o now_o she_o be_v on_o the_o top_n of_o mount_n zion_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lamb_n have_v her_o father_n name_n write_v in_o her_o forehead_n among_o the_o hundred_o forty_o four_o thousand_o play_v with_o they_o on_o their_o harp_n and_o sing_v with_o they_o the_o new_a song_n before_o the_o throne_n for_o ever_o this_o new_a bear_v saint_n unto_o her_o god_n do_v cry_v and_o cry_v weep_v her_o eye_n be_v never_o dry_a both_o day_n and_o night_n lament_v bitter_o but_o now_o she_o be_v sing_v praise_n with_o heavenly_a mâ—tâ—ly_n six_o after_o conviction_n to_o her_o die_a hour_n she_o have_v a_o very_a tender_a conscience_n and_o the_o great_a dread_n of_o sin_n be_v the_o most_o visible_o manifest_a in_o she_o that_o ever_o i_o see_v in_o any_o creature_n in_o my_o life_n she_o do_v not_o only_o hate_v evil_a but_o the_o very_a appearance_n of_o it_o that_o bless_a promise_n be_v eminent_o and_o most_o effectual_o fulfil_v in_o she_o of_o god_n take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o stone_n and_o give_v a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n ezek._n 36.26_o i_o can_v give_v you_o a_o instance_n that_o will_v put_v this_o out_o of_o all_o doubt_n but_o it_o be_v so_o amaze_a and_o have_v some_o cause_n to_o question_v whether_o ever_o she_o acquaint_v any_o in_o the_o world_n with_o it_o beside_o myself_o i_o will_v omit_v it_o but_o two_o other_o story_n that_o be_v very_o well_o know_v i_o will_v tell_v you_o the_o one_o be_v a_o young_a man_n in_o chichester_n convert_v by_o mr._n robbins_n his_o ministry_n and_o join_v to_o the_o church_n there_o soon_o after_o his_o conversion_n be_v bring_v into_o a_o straight_a on_o this_o account_n a_o great_a part_n of_o his_o livelihood_n come_v in_o by_o attend_v on_o wedding_n as_o a_o musicianer_n have_v a_o excellent_a faculty_n that_o way_n a_o marriage_n be_v then_o come_v on_o at_o which_o as_o he_o tell_v i_o himself_o he_o have_v a_o prospect_n of_o get_v near_o five_o pound_n but_o think_v it_o scandalous_a to_o the_o gospel_n any_o long_a to_o continue_v in_o that_o practice_n he_o advise_v with_o his_o brethren_n about_o his_o go_n assure_v they_o without_o their_o consent_n he_o will_v not_o give_v his_o attendance_n they_o in_o consideration_n of_o his_o low_a circumstance_n as_o to_o the_o world_n and_o that_o be_v part_n of_o his_o call_v be_v not_o forward_o to_o discourage_v he_o but_o leave_v he_o to_o his_o liberty_n he_o not_o satisfy_v come_v to_o i_o for_o advice_n i_o confess_v i_o be_v put_v to_o a_o stand_n and_o the_o more_o for_o that_o his_o wife_n be_v then_o in_o a_o carnal_a state_n tho'_o since_o god_n have_v wrought_v upon_o she_o i_o know_v not_o how_o her_o spirit_n may_v be_v raise_v to_o exclaim_v against_o religion_n and_o the_o possessor_n of_o it_o for_o hinder_v they_o of_o their_o maintenance_n i_o therefore_o desire_v to_o be_v excuse_v from_o give_v my_o opinion_n in_o it_o but_o tell_v he_o to_o advise_v he_o to_o go_v i_o can_v not_o and_o to_o dissuade_v he_o from_o go_v i_o dare_v not_o he_o than_o request_v i_o to_o ask_v my_o people_n about_o it_o and_o he_o will_v acquiess_v in_o their_o judgement_n
to_o give_v he_o satisfaction_n next_o time_n i_o preach_v on_o the_o weekday_n several_a member_n come_v into_o my_o house_n after_o sermon_n as_o also_o mrs._n mary_n harrison_n i_o then_o break_v the_o business_n to_o they_o and_o desire_v they_o to_o give_v i_o their_o thought_n upon_o it_o every_o one_o speak_v his_o mind_n some_o be_v violent_a against_o it_o other_o more_z moderate_a on_o the_o forego_n consideration_n but_o in_o short_a they_o go_v away_o without_o come_v to_o any_o result_n after_o they_o be_v go_v precious_a mrs._n mary_n i_o shall_v never_o forget_v it_o take_v i_o by_o the_o hand_n and_o with_o tear_n in_o her_o eye_n very_o earnest_o speak_v the_o follow_a word_n good_a dear_a sir_n beat_v off_o my_o brother_n betsworth_n from_o go_v to_o the_o wedding_n and_o i_o will_v do_v what_o i_o can_v to_o make_v up_o his_o loss_n these_o be_v her_o very_a word_n but_o the_o manner_n of_o speak_v they_o and_o the_o agony_n of_o her_o spirit_n in_o speak_v they_o be_v above_o the_o power_n of_o a_o far_o better_a pen_n than_o i_o lively_a to_o set_v forth_o the_o other_o story_n be_v in_o the_o day_n of_o her_o vanity_n before_o god_n touch_v her_o heart_n see_v the_o key_n in_o her_o father_n desk_n or_o trunk_n she_o take_v thence_o some_o money_n under_o twenty_o shilling_n to_o buy_v she_o some_o fine_a thing_n on_o which_o her_o mind_n be_v whole_o set_v with_o the_o great_a eagerness_n that_o can_v be_v but_o oh_o what_o a_o unspeakable_a horror_n have_v she_o in_o her_o conscience_n for_o this_o in_o the_o day_n of_o her_o conviction_n she_o often_o complain_v or_o rather_o roar_v about_o it_o to_o i_o that_o she_o be_v a_o thief_n and_o have_v steal_v money_n from_o her_o father_n the_o devil_n be_v not_o want_v to_o aggravate_v the_o matter_n for_o the_o far_o perplex_v she_o already_o too_o much_o disturb_v soul_n at_o last_o she_o tell_v i_o she_o must_v tell_v her_o father_n of_o it_o and_o ask_v he_o forgiveness_n for_o it_o i_o confess_v i_o labour_v to_o dissuade_v she_o from_o it_o fear_v he_o be_v her_o father-in-law_n it_o may_v be_v of_o bad_a consequence_n tell_v she_o that_o though_o it_o be_v very_o ill_o do_v yet_o be_v several_a year_n since_o and_o she_o one_o of_o the_o family_n i_o think_v a_o thorough_a sense_n of_o the_o evil_a of_o it_o which_o it_o be_v plain_a she_o have_v and_o seek_v pardon_v oâ—_n god_n in_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n be_v sufficient_a for_o though_o confession_n of_o wrong_n do_v in_o other_o case_n be_v necessary_a yet_o prudence_n forbid_v it_o in_o this_o case_n under_o her_o circumstance_n and_o the_o state_n of_o the_o family_n several_n know_v christian_n to_o who_o she_o communicate_v this_o affair_n concur_v with_o my_o judgement_n but_o this_o do_v not_o satisfy_v she_o she_o still_o persist_v in_o her_o resolution_n of_o confess_v it_o to_o her_o father_n and_o one_o night_n as_o i_o be_v with_o her_o late_a after_o prayer_n be_v about_o to_o leave_v she_o she_o tell_v i_o she_o will_v not_o nor_o can_v not_o keep_v this_o thing_n any_o long_o from_o her_o father_n knowledge_n she_o have_v such_o a_o fire_n burn_v in_o her_o conscience_n which_o be_v not_o to_o be_v quench_v till_o she_o do_v it_o i_o reply_v if_o that_o be_v her_o absolute_a determination_n i_o desire_v i_o may_v be_v by_o to_o back_o it_o not_o know_v how_o her_o father_n may_v resent_v it_o to_o which_o she_o consent_v we_o send_v down_o for_o he_o but_o he_o be_v either_o busy_a with_o company_n or_o at_o supper_n and_o i_o not_o be_v willing_a to_o stay_v long_o it_o be_v defer_v till_o next_o day_n but_o after_o i_o be_v go_v and_o the_o family_n with_o herself_o also_o in_o bed_n about_o midnight_n so_o powerful_a and_o influential_a be_v her_o terrify_a conscience_n she_o rise_v up_o and_o as_o i_o think_v drip_v on_o her_o nightgown_n run_v to_o her_o father_n chamber_n and_o approach_v his_o bedside_n in_o a_o penitential_a heart-moving_a tone_n confess_v her_o gild_n to_o he_o upon_o hear_v of_o it_o he_o to_z his_o honour_n like_o a_o generous_a honest_a tender-hearted_a man_n free_o forgive_v she_o to_o she_o no_o small_a comfort_n the_o next_o day_n after_o dinner_n at_o the_o hour_n appoint_v i_o go_v to_o she_o expect_v the_o performance_n of_o what_o she_o have_v be_v so_o long_o harp_v upon_o but_o when_o she_o tell_v i_o she_o have_v already_o do_v it_o and_o where_o and_o in_o what_o manner_n oh_o how_o be_v my_o soul_n strike_v with_o amazement_n i_o present_o think_v on_o solomon_n word_n prov._n 14.10_o the_o heart_n know_v his_o own_o bitterness_n and_o a_o stranger_n do_v not_o intermeddle_v with_o his_o joy_n o_o bless_a god_n think_v i_o how_o do_v this_o young_a convert_n outstrip_v those_o of_o the_o high_a form_n in_o thy_o house_n i_o confess_v i_o have_v much_o high_a thought_n of_o she_o and_o much_o low_a thought_n of_o myself_o ever_o after_o that_o day_n but_o stay_v i_o be_o call_v to_o harken_v and_o oh_o that_o you_o and_o all_o that_o read_v this_o tract_n will_v harken_v with_o i_o to_o what_o john_n hear_v rev._n 14.17_o and_o i_o hear_v a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n say_v unto_o i_o write_v bless_a be_v the_o dead_a which_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n from_o henceforth_o yea_o say_v the_o spirit_n that_o they_o may_v rest_v from_o their_o labour_n and_o their_o work_n do_v follow_v they_o ah_o this_o holy_a virgin_n be_v one_o of_o the_o bless_a dead_a that_o do_v rest_n from_o her_o labour_n of_o sorrow_n and_o anguish_n for_o sin_n and_o her_o work_n of_o faith_n repentance_n and_o love_n do_v follow_v she_o this_o heavenly_a lamb_n when_o she_o escape_v the_o gin_n that_o satan_n lay_v and_o after_o be_v let_v in_o jehovah_n court_n oh_o how_o she_o dread_a sin_n its_o fear_n do_v pierce_v her_o soul_n and_o make_v her_o body_n thin_a seven_o as_o after_o conviction_n she_o have_v a_o dread_n of_o sin_n of_o any_o sin_n so_o more_o especial_o of_o her_o own_o sin_n of_o her_o former_a belove_a sin_n pride_n certain_o never_o be_v any_o creature_n below_o a_o glorified_a state_n more_o mortify_v to_o that_o particular_a sin_n than_o she_o be_v oh_o with_o what_o loathe_v abhorrence_n and_o disdain_v will_v she_o speak_v of_o it_o david_n account_v it_o a_o undeceivable_a mark_n of_o sincerity_n that_o he_o be_v get_v above_o his_o darling_n lust_n psalm_n 18.23_o i_o be_v also_o upright_o before_o he_o and_o i_o keep_v myself_o from_o my_o iniquity_n what_o david_n iniquity_n be_v i_o may_v guess_v but_o not_o conclude_v but_o this_o i_o be_o sure_a pride_n be_v she_o and_o she_o through_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o grace_n keep_v herself_o from_o it_o it_o be_v her_o right_a eye_n and_o she_o be_v enable_v to_o pluck_v it_o out_o it_o be_v her_o right_a hand_n and_o she_o have_v power_n from_o god_n to_o cut_v it_o off_o that_o she_o may_v be_v fit_a for_o the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n mat._n 5.29_o 30._o from_o the_o day_n of_o her_o conviction_n when_o the_o terror_n of_o the_o almighty_a take_v hold_v of_o she_o off_o go_v her_o topknot_n and_o all_o superfluous_a finery_n and_o never_o put_v on_o more_o what_o be_v her_o glory_n before_o be_v her_o shame_n now_o her_o adorn_v be_v no_o long_o the_o outward_a adorn_v of_o plait_v the_o hair_n the_o wear_n of_o gold_n or_o put_v on_o of_o apparel_n but_o the_o hide_a man_n of_o the_o heart_n in_o that_o which_o be_v not_o corruptible_a even_o the_o ornament_n of_o a_o meek_a and_o quiet_a spirit_n which_o be_v in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n of_o great_a price_n oh_o that_o all_o the_o young_a lady_n and_o gentlewoman_n in_o england_n have_v see_v her_o ghastly_a look_n and_o hear_v how_o doleful_o she_o bemoan_v herself_o for_o her_o horrid_a pride_n which_o be_v once_o so_o rampant_a in_o she_o it_o can_v not_o i_o think_v but_o be_v a_o effectual_a antidote_n against_o their_o stay_n so_o long_o at_o the_o glass_n and_o be_v so_o curious_o exact_a in_o deck_v and_o adorn_v the_o outside_n of_o their_o decay_a body_n oh_o if_o they_o have_v behold_v as_o i_o and_o many_o other_o do_v how_o dear_a and_o costly_a this_o sin_n be_v to_o this_o young_a damsel_n they_o will_v sure_o be_v more_o afraid_a of_o it_o she_o be_v weep_v and_o cry_v and_o continual_o lament_v the_o pride_n of_o her_o vain_a heart_n but_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o the_o church_n she_o have_v the_o moon_n that_o be_v the_o world_n under_o her_o foot_n so_o this_o precious_a saint_n have_v at_o last_o the_o sin_n of_o pride_n under_o her_o foot_n and_o oh_o how_o do_v she_o trample_v upon_o it_o how_o do_v she_o contemn_v and_o despise_v it_o in_o