complaint of a sad and miserable Sinner I have searched into the secret recesses of my Soul there I find nothing but Horror and a barren Wilderness a neglected Conscience overgrown with Sins and cares beset with fears and sore Amazement I tremble when I remember that sad Truth If the Righteous scarcely be saved where shall the Wicked and Ungodly appear I know O Lord that all my secret impurities shall be laid open at thy dreadfull Judgment O just and dear God! how shall I appear who shall plead for me who am loaden with Impurities Vanity Ingratitude Malice and the Terrors of an affrightning Conscience Wilt not thou answer for me O Jesus thou art my Judge and my Advocate thou art to pass Sentence upon me for those Sins for which thou diest O reserve not my Sins to be punished in the life to come for then I die Eternally but bring me in this World to a severe Repentance Behold I am in thy hand grant I may so Weep and be contrite for my Sins that in the hour of my Death I may find Mercy and in the day of Judgment be freed from the Terrors of thy Wrath and the Sentence of the Wicked Thou hast spared me all this while and not taken me off in the midst of my Sins which is an unspeakable Mercy for if thou had dealt with me according to my Deserts I had been now at this instant sealed up to an Eternity of Torments hopelesly miserably fearing the Revelation of thy day with an insupportable Amazement But now under the sweet influences of thy mercy I am praying to thee confessing my sins with Sorrow for my ingratitude but with a full hope in thy Mercy O my dear God let thy Grace speedily work that in me for which thou so long hast spared me even a true Faith and Holy Life establish in me a great contrition for my Sins lead me on to an humble Confession and let thy Grace make me bring forth Fruits meet for Repentance O Blessed Jesu who liveth and reigns ever one God world without end Amen I hate all evil ways O Lord But thy Law will I Love O God with shame I confess that other Lords besides thee have hitherto had Dominion over me Miserable Wretch that I am that I should begin so early to offend my Creator and sin so much in so short a time Lord I fear I never yet throughly considered how evil and bitter a thing it is to depart from thee O make me every day more and more sensible of the Error of my ways and of my own infinit Vileness Miserable Wretch that I am that ever I should commit those sins which expose me to all the vials of thy Wrath to all the curses of thy Law to all thy judgments Temporal or Spiritual in this life and to all the Horrors and Despair and Torments of the Damned in the life to come Miserable wretch that I am that ever I should transgress that Law of thine O God which is so Just Holy and Good perfect and so condescending to my Infirmities and in keeping of which there are so great so unconceivable rewards O Blessed Saviour how can I ever sufficiently lament the guilt of my Sins which was so great that nothing but thy own inestimable Blood could expiate O Blessed Spirit instil true penitential sorrow into my Soul make my Head Waters and my Eyes Fountains of Tears or do thou supply the want of them with Sighs and Groans unutterable But alass I know all the Tears I can possibly shed can never wash away the least of my Sins 't is thy Blood only Lord that can do it O Heavenly Father in the defect of my own Tears I offer thee the Blood of thy own well beloved Son for his sake have mercy upon me I have been in the snare of the Devil and been led Captive by him and sin hath reigned in my Mortal Body and I have obeyed it in the lust thereof but from henceforth I resolve to serve none but thee and from this very moment I utterly forsake all my sins and turn to thee I do from my heart renew my Baptismal Vow I do for ever renounce the Devil and all his Works and the Vanities of this World which may pervert me from thy Service and all the sinfull Lust of the Flesh O my God I do steadfastly believe all the Articles of the Christian Faith I will keep thy Holy Will and Commandments and walk in the same all the days of my life All this I am bound to do and believe and by thy help so I will and I heartily thank thee O Father who hast called me to this state of Salvation through Jesus Christ my Saviour and I humbly pray thee for his sake to give me Grace to continue in the same to my lives end O Lord God I have Sworn and I will perform it that I will keep thy Righteous Judgments but alass I 'm not able of my self to do nothing that is Good not so much as to think one good thought and I no sooner shall rise from my Knees but I fear I shall be tempted to those very sins I have now so solemnly renounced and those Temptations will certainly overcome me unless thou Lord do'st reasonably interpose thy Grace to with-hold me but I can do all things through the strengthning me do thou then O Blessed Saviour perfect thy strength in my weakness for in thee only is my trust O my God thou hast promised to give thy Holy Spirit to those that ask it Behold Lord I do Humbly I do Earnestly ask thy Holy Spirit now of thee O fullfil thy gracious Promises to me O vouchsafe me that Holy Spirit I pray for to purifie my corrupt Nature to strengthen my Weakness to comfort me in Troubles to support me in Discouragements to succor me in Temptations and to asist me in all the part of my Duty Thou O searcher of hearts knowest the sins I 'm most inclined to here name them herein will lie my greatest danger of Back-sliding but O my God I beg a double portion of thy Spirit and invisible aid against them hold thou up my goings in thy paths that my Foot-steps slip not O work in me that victorious Faith by which I may overcome the World the Devil and my own corrupt Nature My help standeth in thee O great Creator of Heaven and Earth and I commit my Soul to thy keeping O thou that art Faithful as well as Almighty keep that safe which is committed to thy Trust watch over me that I may not be beguiled by the deceitfulness of Sin or betrayed by my own treacherous heart or surprised by my Ghostly Enemies and give me grace to Watch and Pray incessantly my self least I enter into Temptation O Heavenly Father for thine own infinit Mercy sake for thy Truth and Promise sake for all the Merits and Sufferings of the Son of thy Love in whom thou art always well pleased pardon all
and Reformation But 't is uncertain whether we shall come thus to our selves till Death overtake us or since we resolv'd to sin till we could sin no longer whether there will be Place found for our Tears Therefore let every Man call his Ways to remembrance But they who are thus enslav'd in Sin let them make haste to deliver themselves from the Wrath to come their Case is very dangerous they seem to be destin'd to Destruction for they have so long suffer'd their Lusts to have Dominion over them that they know not how to free themselves from this Tyranny of Sin But blessed be God who has provided a Lamb for the Sacrifice there is yet a Way for our Redemption God has not wholly left us without Help in this World Though the Prayers of the Wicked are an Abomination yet those of the Penitent are not so If we are so happy as to stop in this Career have but so much Resolution to begin a Reformation God is so merciful as to add his Grace to help us forward to Repentance But 't is only when God sees us set about it in earnest for he knows our Hearts and Thoughts long before Therefore let us embrace the first Thoughts of Repentance and carry them on to a sincere Reformation Let us retire from the World and humble our selves in Fasting and this not once or twice but often for we have need to cry mightily to God Day and Night to be redeem'd from this worse than Egyptian Bondage On the Day of our Humiliation that the Misery of our Condition may oblige us to the greater Penitence let us first consider the Odiousness of Sin that we may learn to detest it the Aggravation of it by being committed frequently presumptuously and against Knowledge that we may abhor our selves for our Folly and Ingratitude Then let us reflect upon the Number of them which being infinite ought to lay us in the Dust and confess our selves to be worse than nothing Reflections of a true Penitent upon his first Conviction O God! to what an amazing and miserable Condition have I brought my self I stand exposed to thy Severest Judgment here and am liable to thy Indignation hereafter I know I am not in a State of Salvation and yet can't lament my Misery I am a Sinner and reflect upon the evil Consequence of Sin yet am neither Terrified or Sorrowfull What a heap of Contradiction and Wickedness am I made up of that believe the Pleasures of thy Law and yet depart from thy Commandments that fear the Justice of thy Anger and yet can't be perswaded to forsake the Evil of my Ways Thus miserable O God do I behold my self but thou seest that I am infinitly more vile than I can imagine Though my Crimes appear to me beyond my expression and my Heart thus condemns me thou art greater than my Heart and knowest all things Thou knowest how often each Sin has been repeated and the vileness of that Sin and how much more heinous by the habitual Repetition when my Depraved Nature will neither let me know the Baseness of the one or the Ingratitude of the other I am insensible how much thou art offended by one Sin and am forgetfull how often I have repeated that Offence and can only tell that Sin in me is above measure sinful O! that there was a Heart in me even to apprehend this that I cou'd say with a sincere Heart and pensive Soul Lord I am a miserable Sinner But this is not in my power I can only reflect upon my Sins at a distance as if they did not concern me and my poor Soul was not to answer for them at thy Tribunal O God thy Hand is heavy upon me I know my Sins are abominable in thy Sight and that thy Judgment inflicts this Hardness of Heart and that thou art resolved to try me no longer Thou seest that I am Grounded in Wickedness that evil is continually with me that if thou shou'dst forgive I shall revolt again and wherefore shoudst thou withhold thine Hand O my God I have nothing to offer to put a Stop to thy Vindictive Justice but confess I deserve Eternal Damnation But who can be content to dwell in Everlasting Burnings Is there then no Way to escape thy Vengeance Wilt thou be angry for ever Yes O God unless I repent thou wilt bring me to worse than nothing for thou wilt condemn me to Eternal Torment How can I repent unless thou change my Nature and give me a Heart to be sorry and abhor the Evil of my Ways But why should I expect this Mercy that have abus'd all others I can't look up to thee with any Confidence to beg thee to have Patience with me for my Prayers must be an Abomination and my Devotions no way pleasing in thy Sight Oh! the Misery that I have brought my self into God has withdrawn himself and taken his Holy Spirit from me there remains only that I be reserv'd against the Revelation of that Day in which the Righteous Judgments of God will appear to condemn me and all such ungrateful Souls to the Torments of Hell Righteous art thou O Lord and in the midst of Flames will I confess thy Justice Fear is come upon me and thy Judgment is the severer in that I am not sensible of the Danger Wilt thou laugh at this my Calamity And shall not mine Eyes be open till the Flames of Hell terrifie them Wilt thou suffer me thus to sink down into Torment and despise the Groans of a Soul in an Abyss of Misery Oh I cou'd be content to yield to thy severest Inflictions here if I cou'd be brought to the favour of God But I dare not ask of Thee to correct me least thou do it in Judgment and yet I dread thy Rod that it will come and how can I bear to fall into the Hands of the Living God Who can deliver me from thy Power Oh thou Omnipotent God What can I do when Misery thus abounds and each Reflection presents Damnation to my view Surely if I was truly affected with my Condition it would work upon my Spirit and when my Soul was sensible of Sin and how bitter a thing it is to depart from God it would cause such Relentings and Tremblings such Contrition and Humiliation as becomes a Soul loaded with my Crimes Oh that my Conscience wou'd rise up against me and call me to the strictest Account that my Soul was wounded within me That I had the fear of an angry God deeply imprinted upon my Soul Oh that I was a sorrowful Sinner Oh that I could grieve as never Man griev'd but alas 't is not in my power thus to afflict my self and what would it avail me if I could wrack my Soul and put my Nature into terrible Conflicts Can the Sighs and Groans and torturing Convulsions of such a Sinner move Compassion in the Most High will not God be Deaf to my Complaint and regardless of my
my Wickedness and be sorry for my Sins I will pour out my Prayers in the bitterness of my Spirit and therefore now Lord call my Sins to my Remembrance and when thou hast so done blot them out of thy Remembrance and Pardon me A Confession of Sin O Thou great Judge of Heaven and Earth before whose glorious Majesty even the good Angels who never sinned fall prostrate and tremble with what debasement and dread ought I to appear before thy awful Presence who am but Dust and Ashes and which is infinitely worse a miserable Sinner Holy Holy Holy Lord God Almighty thou art of purer eyes than to behold iniquity with the least approbation the way of the wicked and the sacrifice of the wicked is an Abomination unto thee Wo is me then O Lord Wo is me for I have inclined unto Wickedness but for the sake of thy well-beloved Son cast not out my prayer nor turn thy mercy from me Miserable wretch that I am I have gone astray from the very Womb I was shapen in Wickedness and in Sin did my Mother Conceive me Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean What is Man then O God that he should be Clean or he that is born of a Woman that he should be Righteous Thou Lord puttest no trust in thy Saints The Heavens are nor clean in thy sight and the very Angels thou chargest with folly How much more abominable than am I who daily drink iniquity like Water Lord Pity cleanse forgive and save me for thy mercies sake I know O God that in my flesh dwelleth no good thing for when I would do Good Evil is present with me and I see a Law in my Members warring against the Law of my Mind bringing me into Captivity to the Law of Sin Lord have mercy on me and deliver me from this body of Death from this tyranny of Sin Alass my whole Nature is corrupt infinitely prone to all Evil and a verse to all that is Good my Understanding is full of Ignorance and error my will perverse my Memory tenacious of all things that may pollute me but forgetful of my Duty my Passions are inordinate my Senses the inlets to all impurity I have abused all my faculties and am unclean unclean Lord pity cleanse forgive and save me for thy mercies sake O Lord God how have I through my whole life violated the sollemn Vow I made to thee at Baptism by eagerly persuing the Vanities of this Wicked World by early yeilding to the Temptation of the Devil by greedily indulging my own carnal Desires and Lust by a fruitless and dead faith and by a disobedience to thy holy Will and Commandments Father I have Sin'd against Heaven and in thy sight and am no more worthy to be called thy Son I have Sin'd O Lord God I have Sin'd against Thee By c. Here make your confession of Sins against God and then add O Jesu Lamb of God Son of the Father let thy Blood cleanse me from these sins O pity forgive and save me for thy mercies sake I have sin'd O Lord God I have sin'd against thee and my own self By c. Here confess your sins against your Self and then add O Jesu Lamb of God c. I have sin'd O Lord God I have sin'd against thee and my Neighbor By c. Here confess your sins against your Neighbor and then add O Jesu Lamb of God c. O Lord God my wickedness is exceeding great and my iniquities are infinite they are more in number than the hairs of my head and my heart would fail me but that I know thy mercies are greater than my sins Have mercy upon me therefore O God according to the multitude of thy mercies do away my Offences Who alas can tell how oft he Offends Oh cleanse thou me from my secret faults from all my sins of Ignorance or Infirmity or Omission or which I have not observed or which I have forgot Lord lay none of them to my charge Father forgive me Lord Jesus have mercy upon me O remember not the sins and offences of my Youth but receive me O heavenly Father into the Arms of thy Fatherly compassion and forgive me all my Transgressions for the merits of Jesus thy Son and my Saviour Amen O Lord God of Mercy and Pardon give me a just remembrance and sad apprehension of my sins teach me to bewail them with as great indignation and bitterness as I have committed them with complacency and delight Let my Prayer and Confession come into thy presence and obtain mercy and pardon for me Let not thy Justice and Severity so remember my sins as to forget thy own mercy and though I deserve to be condemned yet thou canst not lose that glorious attribute whence flows comfort to us and hopes of being saved Spare me therefore O merciful God for to give pardon to a sinner that confesses his faults and begs remission is not impossible to thy Power nor disproportionate to thy Justice nor unusual to thy mercy Blessed Jesu acknowledge in me whatsoever is thine cleanse me from whatsoever is amiss Have pitty on me now in the time of mercy and condemn me not when thou comest to judgment for what profit is there in my Blood Thou delightest not in the death of a Sinner but in his Conversion is joy in Heaven and when thou hast delivered me from my sins and saved my Soul I shall praise and magnifie thy Name to all Eternity O Jesu God be merciful to me a miserable Sinner O Lord who art the God that hearest prayers and alone has power finally to forgive sin I beseech the mercifully hear and graciously answer these my Petitions for pardon I am a sinner and deserve punishment but O Lord remove my guilt and spare me who do now confess with shame and sorrow my sins unto thee that I whose Conscience by sin is accused so justly now before thee by thy merciful pardon may be absolved from my Guilt for the sake and through the merits of Jesus Christ our Lord. By thine Agony and bloody Sweat by thy Cross and Passion by thy precious Death and Burial Good Lord deliver O Lamb of God that takest away the Sins of the World Have mercy upon O Christ hear me Lord have mercy upon me Christ have c. Lord have mercy c. Our Father which art c. A Prayer O most gracious God who out of thy boundless Compassion to thy Creatures art never wanting in any means that may draw them to thy self I the unworthiest of thy Servants desire to give Glory to thee in a hearty acknowledgement that thou hast afforded me all the methods that might either force or allure me to Obedience but I have resisted that goodness of thine which should have lead me to Repentance Thy compassion has been affronted by my continuance in sin and thy forbearance only serv'd to harden me in Iniquity I have lived to provoke thy
my Sins and Failings and receive me into thy favour for the sake of him who has taught me to call the Father and when I pray to say Our Father which art c. The following Form to be added when we have some assurances that our Hearts are steadfast towards God O the God of my life and the unexhausted Fountain of mercy which can never be drawn dry I have now by the assistance of thy Holy Spirit gone through though with weak and trembling steps the whole exercise of Repentance for I have confessed my Sins and thou hast promised upon my Confession of them not to impute them to me I have gone one step farther I have repented of my Sins and thou hast promised upon my Repentance thou wilt remember them no more and because thy Holy Word hath taught me that a new life is the only Repentance I have this day in thy sight and in the presence of all the Angels that attend thee in the conversion of a sinner made my firm resolution never to fall again into the Sins I have repented of and now O God the Father of Heaven who canst not be thought so cruel as to make me only to destroy me Have mercy upon me O God the Son who knowing thy Father's Will didst make it thy business to come into the World to save me Have Mercy c. O God the Holy Ghost who to the same end didst sanctifie me in my Baptism and hast so often since breathed Holy thoughts into my Soul Have mercy c. O Holy Blessed and Glorious Trintiy whom in three persons I adore as my one and only true God Have mercy on me Hear me O Lord. Help me O Lord. Save me or else I perish Lord carest thou not that I perish Thou that wouldest have all men to be saved Thou who wouldest have none to perish And wilt thou now shew thine anger against a Worm against a Vapour that vanishes before thee O remember how short my time is and deliver not my Soul into the power of Hell for what profit is there in my Blood no let me live in thy sight let me live O my God that my Soul may praise thee O remember for whose sake it was that thou camest from the Bosom of thy Father Remember for whom it was that thou enduredst the agony of the Cross and shed thy precious Blood Was it not for the Sins of the whole World and hast thou particularly excepted me Can I imagine thou diest for Sinners of a lower kind and left such as I without Remedy O how easie is it to thee to forgive for 't is thy Nature how proper is it for thee to save for it is thy Name how suitable is it to thy only end of coming into the World for it was thy business and when I consider that I am chief of Sinners may I not urge the Father and say shall the very chief of thy business be left undone Mercy Mercy Good Lord. I ask not of thee any longer the things of this World but thy pardoning Mercy O that I could hear thee say as thou didst to him in the Gospel My Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven thee O that I could never sin against thee more never purposely deliberately willfully sin against thee more and for those sins of daily Incursion those over familiar corruptions of my Nature which thou hast not yet given me strength enough to conquer Lord either subdue them by degrees or lay them not to my Charge but wherein soever my Conscience most accuseth me therein O my God be thou most merciful unto me Save me O Lord as a brand snatch out of the Fire Receive me O my Jesus as a sheep that has wandred but now is return'd to the Great Shepherd and Bishop of my Soul Let this day O my God be noted in thy Book do not thou forget my Prayers nor suffer me to forget my Resolutions though I am weak though I am unworthy though I am unprofitable yet I am thy Servant and here upon my bended Knees I humbly beg of thee that I may live and die so Lord hear my Prayers and let my cry come unto thee Lord pardon my Prayers and let not my coldness and wandrings and infinite unworthiness turn them into Sin Lord hear my Prayer and let my cry come unto thee O Lord Jesu Christ Son of the Eternal God interpose thy holy Death thy Cross and Passion between thy Judgment and my Soul now and in the hour of my death granting unto me Grace and Mercy to all faithfull people pardon and peace to the Church unity and amity to all Sinners especially those I have led into Sin Repentance and Amendment to us all life and Glory everlasting who livest and reignest ever one God World without end Amen O Lord bless me and keep me O Lord Make thy face to shine upon me O Lord lift up the light of thy countenance upon me and give me peace for ever Amen Having performed this Office with due sincerity let us reflect upon what we have been doing 't is possible the result of our Thoughts may terminate in a mixture of fear and joy But we ought not to let either passion prevail more than is justly necessary don 't let our fear depress and cast us into such a Melancholy as may suggest God won't be reconciled and if we have been dull in the performance of these things that God has rejected us The Devil knows how fatal this course is to redeem us from his Power he is very busie to prevent our repentance and abuse our imaginations with allusions perhaps our own disuse of prayer has rendred us uncapable of a due attention 't is impossible to become immediately good from being very wicked or that we should pray with the same steadfastness as they who are accustomed to this duty We are therefore to strive to the uttermost where we fail to be sorry ask God's Pardon and Grace to do better for the future and in a little time we shall prevail to our satisfaction On the other side don't let our joy puff us up and because we have shed a few Tears said so many Prayers Fasted and given Alms that we are now become perfect and need no more Repentance we have but set the first step to this great work of our Salvation were we sure we had fully conquered sin and shou'd not suffer our selves to be deceived any more Yet this negative part of Christianity is not sufficient 't is not enough that we cease to do Evil but learn to do Well we are now to begin our course and as we have many things to unlearn so there are abundance to learn without which we shall never see the Face of God What they are the Scripture will inform us 't is from thence we are to learn our perfection for he hath shewed thee O man what is Good to do Justice to love Mercy and to walk humbly
renders the Wisdom of this World foolishness There we may learn what God has done for us and what we ought to do for our selves could we be so happy as to be govern'd by our Reason to let our thoughts have there proper place we should in a little time perceive that we were not sent hither to gaze about us that we have immortal Souls to be taken care of that the greatest Age is but a few days and all the Pleasures of this World momentary and deceitful that if we all could rejoice in the days of our Youth yet we must be brought to Judgment could we but think of these things we should find enough to do to secure our interest in Heaven and may conveniently dispence with the Vanities of this World for besides the evil of them they take us off of the contemplation of much better things He that has God and Eternity upon his Mind has infinite variety to employ his Thoughts The most exquisite Wits have subject for their Fancies and the ignorant may be improving in true Wisdom 'T is our misfortune to suffer the love of this World to prevail upon us and till we have something more lovely to remove our Affections can't easily give a Bill of Divorce Our Passions are strong and when we have habituated our selves to the love of any one thing can't quickly put a curb to our desires we talk of Heaven but at a distance think it sufficient to take up with those pleasures when we can enjoy these no longer we are sure of the present and have a mistrust either that the future will not come or that they are not worth the exchange that we should deny our selves a familliar satisfaction for uncertain expectations 'T is from such reasons we are deluded and though we dare not speak out are such fools as to mistrust in our hearts the truth of these things In short 't is the want of Faith we are not fully convinced of the existence of a Deity or that there is a Providence in the World This proceeds from the want of consideration we dont allow our selves time to think but take it upon trust we don't endeavour to reconcile it to our Reason and having no conviction in our minds grow indifferent at last come to that degree of wickedness as to cast off all thoughts of God and Religion This is certainly the Case of too many And even among those who are more fully persuaded of these things that believe there is a God and a Judgment to come we find a prodigious Neglect and have nothing but their Words to incline us to believe they ever heard of the Christian Religion Indeed they come to Church once a a Week hear Jesus Christ preach'd and that they must depend upon his Merits to be saved This they are willing to believe if God will accept them upon that Condition for they do not care to be concern'd in the Working out their Salvation but are free to let our Saviour have the Honour of Conducting them to Heaven if they may be exempt from the Severity of Fear and Trembling They can heartily believe any thing that favours their Interest and are very desirous of getting into Paradise by Faith if God will excufe them from Good Works But this we must not believe for we are as certain as there is a God that no unrighteous Man shall see his Face nor any Man without Repentance and a true Faith in Jesus Christ Except we repent we shall all likewise perish And unless we believe that Jesus is the Christ shall be damned True Repentance is a hearty Sorrow for Sin past and a serious Resolution to amend our Lives for the future True Faith will be shewn by our Works for if we believe in him we shall keep his Commandments We cannot think that God made us for nothing and was at the Expence of so great a Miracle only to furnish witty Men with Matter for a strange Story There must be something more in Sin than we imagine and the Provocations of the Wicked must be exceeding abominable It must be of a prodigious Nature that could so incense a merciful God that nothing less than the Sacrifice of his Son could expiate Can we think the Work of our Redemption of so little value that it is not to be considered Oh! let the Consideration of this move us to be grateful to the exceeding Love of Christ Let us glorifie God in our Lives and let not the Price of his Blood be utterly lost Let the Time past of our Lives suffice for the Works of Iniquity and let us break off our Sins by Repentance and turn to the Lord our God To which End let us call our selves to a severe Account and examine the Errour of our Ways let us humble our selves in Fasting and Prayer beg Pardon for our Offences and Strength to withstand the Assaults of the Devil and our Inclinations for till we are thus purified we expect the Grace of God in vain Christ will not come into a filthy Habitation and while our Bodies are unclean the Holy Ghost will not erect his Temple there How necessary is it then to begin our Repentance speedily to day while it is called to day lest any of us be harden'd through the Deceitfulness of Sin Sin is very bewitching and when it has got the Mastery is not easily resisted Habits require a great deal of Pains to unlearn especially when they are such as cause us not only to take pleasure in them our selves but delight in those who do the same thing They are then become mighty Dallila's dearer to us than our Eyes or Limbs we can much rather part with either than our Lusts Of such mighty force are they that we not only loose our Strength but Reason and are led Captives wheresoever they will A Man thus overcome is miserable indeed for he is not only under the Power of the Devil and his own unruly Lusts but has God for his Enemy And where can he then flee for Succour How dreadfully must his Soul be shaken when his Conscience begins to suggest all things are not well within that there is a Necessity of a speedy Alteration that his Impieties are daring and grown to such a heighth as cannot be thought on without Horrour and Confusion when he can neither put off these Reflections or bear the Trial of the Prospect The first Sight renders him monstrous and the Continuance exceeding frightful It casts him into a thoughtless yet amazing Condition and leaves him under the Pressure of a wounded Spirit Such are generally the Conflicts of those that have submitted to the Yoke of Satan when they first come to themselves And no Man that believ'd the Torture of this Condition would put himself under so dreadful a Necessity Alas these are but the Beginning of Sorrows there is Eternity behind and Hell the Habitation of the Wicked for ever unless this Sense of Sin drives us to Repentance
how miserable my end must be when the Heavens are not pure in thy sight and the very Angels are charged with folly there is no Holiness O Lord if thou with-draw thy Hand no Wisdom profits if thy Government ceases when thou leavest us we perish we are unstable and unsecure unless secured and confirmed by thee we fly to thee for help and yet depart from thy Commandments O how meanly do I deserve to be thought of how little and inconsiderable is the good I do how innumerable how intollerable are the Evils I have done many good things have I received from thee but I have abus'd them thou hast given me Grace but I have turned it into Wantonness thou didst create in me a hope of Glory but I have lost my Confidence Wherefore behold O Lord I come unto thee thou mightest indeed justly censure the approach of such a polluted Creature to be a daring presumption but I beseech the condemn not the action but behold the motives which drew me hither even my own miseries and thy mercies I increase the number of my sins what shall I do to thee O thou preserver of Men Who shall raise me up when I shall fall before thy dreadful Judgment Seat I will lay my Face in the Dust and confess my self to be nothing Pitty my Shame O God bind up my Wounds remove those sins that so easily overcome me and unite me to my Saviour Jesus O help me to supply in Humility what I want in worthiness let my mean and just opinion of my self my bended Knees and broken Heart shew that I durst not have adventured so nigh if thy mercy had not held out the Golden Scepter O then dear Jesus be a Jesus to me and let this Sacrament be a savor of life and thy Body the Bread of life thy Blood the purifier of my sinful life O send me not empty away for I shall faint and die I cannot live without thee O let vertue come from thee and heal my Sickness do thou appear to my Soul in these holy Mysteries enlighten my Darkness turn me from all vain imaginations and illusions of the Enemy all perversness of Will all Violence and Inordinate Passions sensual Desires Lust and Malice Gluttony Pride Envy and Detraction let not sin reign in my mortal Body nor the Divel lead my Will captive nor the World abuse my understanding nor debauch my Conversation O grant I may receive these Divine Mysteries for the amendment of my Life and for a defensative against all my sins for the increase of Vertue and the perfection of the Spirit this I beg O merciful God for the sake of thy Eternal Son my crucified Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Amen Here rising up read as Follows AND as they were Eating Jesus took Bread and gave thanks and blessed it and brea kt it and gave it to his Disciples and said Take Eat this is my Body which is given for you this do in remembrance of me likewise also he took the Cup and when he had given thanks he gave it to them saying Drink ye all of it for this Cup is the New Testament in my Blood which is shed for you and for many for the Remission of sins and they all drank of it Verily I say unto you I will not drink henceforth of the Fruit of the Vine until that day when I drink it new in the Kingdom of God my Father I adore thee O Blessed Jesus for instituting this Holy Sacrament O let thy Divinity thus stampt on it strike into my Soul a holy awe in approaching it O create in me a Heaven disposition to celebrate so Heavenly an Institution and for thy Mercies sake pardon all my stupid forgetfulness and ingratitude hitherto do now create in me such a thankful and lively remembrance of thy dying love that may excite me to give up my self intirely to thee as thou didst give up thy self on the Cross for me Kneeling say A Prayer BEhold O sacred and undivided Trinity an unworthy wretched weak and wounded Soul oppressed with an intollerable weight of Misery terrified with the consideration of thy inscrutable Judgments confounded with the memory of her base ingratitude and encompassed with sorrow I have with the prodigal wasted that portion of Grace thou didst bestow upon me and therefore do infinitly want a supply out of thy Treasury but O Lord how shall such a wretch as I dare to approach this Holy Table how shall this spiritual Manna this Food of Angels be given to one Who has chosen to feed on Huscks with Wine nay to one who has so often trampled upon these precious things either carelesly neglecting or unworthily receiving these holy Mysteries O LOrd my horrible guiltiness makes me not dare to stay away for where shall my polluted Soul be washed if not in this Fountain which thou hast opened for sin and uncleanness hither therefore I come and thou hast promised him that cometh thou wilt in no wise cast out this is O Lord the Blood of the New Testament grant me so to receive it that it may be for the remission of my sins and though I have so often and so wretchedly broken my part of that Covenant whereof the Sacrament is a seal yet be thou graciously pleased to make good thine be merciful to my unrighteousness and remember my sins no more and not only so but place thy Laws in my Mind and write them in my Heart and by the power of thy Grace dispose my Soul to such a sincere and constant Obedience that I may never again provoke thee Lord grant that in these holy Mysteries I may not only commemorate but effectually receive my blessed Saviour and all the benefits of his Passion and to that end give me such a preparation of Soul as may qualifie me for it give me a deep sense of my sins and unworthiness that being weary and heavy leaden I may be capable of his refreshings Raise up my dull and earthly mind from groveling here below and inspire it with holy Zeal that I may with spiritual affections approach this spiritual Feast and let O Lord that infinite love of Christ in dying for so wretched a sinner inflame my frozen and benumed Soul and kindle in me that sacred fire of love to him and that so vehement that no water may quench no floods drown it such as may burn up all my dross and not leave one unmortified Lust within me and such as may also extend it self to all whom thou hast given me command to love even my Enemies as well as Friends O Lord I beseech thee cloath me with the Wedding Garment and make me though of my self a most unworthy yet by thy mercy an acceptable guest at thy Holy Table that I may not eat and drink my own Condemnation but may have my Pardon sealed my Weakness repair'd my Corruptions subdued and my Soul so inseperably united to thee that no temptation may be ever able to dissolve the