wilt I willingly would and willingly would nothing but what thou wilt 69. I had rather do thy will O my God on earth for thy self and thy sake then be in Heaven for my own self and my own sake thy service is dearer to me then my soul 70. I had much rather do the least work for God then have the greatest good and benefit for my self 71. Whatsoever O Lord thou wilt have me to be do and suffer that I willingly would be and long to do and suffer and to have and no other 72. Wilt thou O Lord have me poor afflicted persecuted banisht evil spoken of tormented tempted all these Lord and what else thou wilt so thou come with them I shall rejoyce in them and most willingly receive them 73. It is not Lord what I desire only buâ— what thou hast ordained that I only desire 74. I know and am assured that thou wilt O Lord sooner cast the earth into the Sea and remove the Heavens then take any of thy love from those whom thou lovest 75. For seeing sin cannot nor shall not separate us Lord what shall what can 76. It is fixt on thy own love O Father in Jesus Christ thy Son most lovely and therefore unchangâ—able unmoveable 77. It is from thy great Love O my God that I find thee lovely but thy love is greater for that I love thee and yet more great that I love thee only but more great then all it is that thou hast ever loved and wilt ever love me 78. Ah love that passeth all degree the offended dyes to set the offenders free 79. It is thy mercy O God that I am not past mercy that I contemn not mercy that I know mercy that I value mercy that I prize mercy that I seek mercy that I hope for mercy am assured of mercy and that I desire the same mercies for all others that are not past mercy 80. To will thy will O God is to do thy will when we would as willingly do it be it what it will as we will it 81. To serve thee best and most or to do thee O God most and best service is in most submitting to thy will be it what it will 82. It is not the work of the hand or of the head but of the heart that is according to thy heart and most delighteth thy heart O my God the maker and the giver of all good hearts 83. To wait is better then to work if thou shewest us not what work is thy work and what work we shall do 84. Let me not O God ever ask any other condition than my present condition and always submit to thy will in my condition as often as thou shalt change my condition and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best 85. And let chearfulness witness my contentedness and my contentedness be shown by my chearfulness 86. Ah Lord my Lord if thou did'st not at times afflict me how often should I Ah how often should I afflict thee 87. But I mightily desire to magnifie and praise thee O my God for that I find when affliction comes on me thou comest with it and dost always abundantly comfort me yea my greatest comforts have been when thou seemest as if thou would'st afflict me that is even in affliction 88. If affliction should go from me I fear I should go from all good which is from God 89. Afflict me O Lord so much as thou wilt and so often as thou pleasest so that in it I afflict not thee 90. In affliction I fear but out of affliction Ah Lord I confess I am careless Ah too too careless 91. Affliction makes me O Lord to run to thee to cry aloud after thee and to importune thee for thy presence but out of affliction I go softly I speak softly and know not how to beg with importunity 92. If the outward Man receive such joy and delight in the Creature and by conversing with them Ah what joy delight and ravishment doth the inward Man receive having Communion with God and enjoying his dear Creator 93. If earth and the things below be able to satisfie any surely surely Heaven and the things above shall be able and will satisfie all for every one there shall enjoy God who is all and in all 94. Seeing Heaven on Earth is so sweet Ah how sweet is Heaven in Heaven or the Heaven of Heaven which is our God 94. And seeing Heavens joys are so great on earth Ah how greatly great are they in Heaven 96. Ah sweet most ravishing sweet Jesus let me enjoy them so here that I may long to be dissolved and to be in Heaven to enjoy them there Ah to enjoy thee thee there 97. Seeing one drop or â—ast of them is so delitious Ah how deliciously and delightfully are they fed that feed on them continually and shall feed on them for ever and ever 98. Grant O my God that sins sweets be to me bitter and Heavens bitter be to me sweet and that I may always prefer Heavens bitterest to sins sweetest and never to find any sweet in the sweets of Sin 99. I had rather see Christ with spiritual eyes then in the flesh with the eyes of the flesh and to have him in my heart then in my arms 100. Christ only can make us spiritually hungry and he only can feed us with the bread of life from him we have our spiritual thirsting and he he only can give us to drink of those living waters the fountain of life being in him only 101. Were there as many worlds to be offered me as there would be minutes from Eternity to Eternity I would not nay praised be God I could not give my hope and my interest in my Jesus to enjoy all their riches honours and pleasures unto all Eternity 102. For by how much is he above all things and more worth then all things by so much yea by so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for all things to God can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 103. For God is all things and I am sure of him and therefore I have all things sure 104. He that believes in Christ loves him and he that loves him fears him and he that fears him obeys him and he that loves fears obeys and believes in him must and will walk as he walked 105. We can both will and do our own wills which are evil but we can neither will nor do thy will O God which is all and only good 106. Give me then grace O God the God and giver of all grace to deny my own will to hate and forsake my own will that I wholly and perfectly do thy perfect and holy will 107. Let me then O God my God so will to do as I may only do thy will for my whole will is that thy holy will be done on me and in me that I may do thy will here on
wretchedness emptiness and nothingness how then O Lord am I able to know thee or to consider thee as thou art in thy self and how much thy goodness exceeds my badness thy wisdom my folly thy strength my weakness thy fulness my emptiness thine Almightiness my nothingness and yet how content am I though nothing or less worth then nothing yea to be turned even into nothing for thy sake But seeing O Lord thou hast in thy great goodness love and mercy made me thine make me now O Lord even what thou wilt and sent me whether thou wilt I am ready and willing to go and be and do and suffer yea to spend and to be spent for thee for thou knowest O Lord God if I desire to live it is to live to thee in thee and for thee to praise thee and for thy praise for to praise thee is to live and this to do only is the only desire I have to live for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave thy presence being my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell having thee O Lord I have my all but wanting thee I want all that I would have thou only art able to content to satisfie and to please me but nothing but thee nothing out of thee nothing besides thee O my God yea all things besides thee cannot give me any true pleasure delight or contentment O give me then so thy self my sweet Jesus as I may be always with thee never without thee that I may wholly give up my self unto thee to be more holy like unto thee that my heart may be according to thine own heart and that thou may'st delight thine heart O Lord to set thine heart upon me and to make me thy delight thy joy and thy Crown of glory and to love me and to do me good even with that goodness of heart with thine own goodness wherewith thou lovest thine own that my will may in all things be conformable and made subject to thy will to will all that thou willest willingly and to nill all that thou nillest with the same willing will And grant O Lord that mine eyes may be always open to behold thee mine ears to hear thee my mouth to praise thee mine arms to imbrace thee my feet to run after thee and my heart heartily to love honour fear and adore thee so that all my members and faculties both in soul and body may be as instruments only to act thy motions that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee who art all love and only lovely my dear my sweet and saving Saviour Jesus Ah Lord God make me willing to give my self up unto the that did'st so willingly give up thy self for me and to be made like unto me that I might be made like unto thee thou rejoyced'st O Lord to come down from Heaven on Earth to lift me up from Earth into Heaven to live a mortal life on Earth that I might live an immortal life in Heaven to dye on Earth to free me from Eternal death and to give me Eternal life thou wert O Lord made subject to all infirmities on Earth to confirm and make me for ever free from them in Heaven seeing then thou wert O Lord willing to come to me in blood even through thine own blood to wash me out of my blood and to make me for ever clean Ah Lord wash not my hands and my feet only but my head and my heart out also even my bloody heart that hath delighted so much and so often to make thy innocent heart to bleed yea to shed the last drop of blood that was in thy heart Thou would'st O Christ thou would'st wear an ignominious Crown of Thornes here on earth that I might wear a glorious Crown of Glory hereafter in Heaven thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be whip'd that thy stripes might heal me thou would'st thou would'st O Christ be bound to loose me and set me free thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be accurst that I might be for ever blest thou would'st O Christ thou would'st have thine arms nail'd abroad to shew the breadth of thy love thy feet nail'd to shew the length of thy love and thy head pierst with Thorns to shew the height of thy love and thy heart opened with a spear to shew the depth of thy love Ah breadth length height and depth of love that such a God would be thus wounded to heal such a man as I am thus accurst to make me blest thus bound to make me free thus made an heir of misery to make me an heir of mercy thus to drink the dreggs of his Fathers Divine wrath that I might for ever drink in the streams and of the Ocean of his Divine love Ah love beyond degree an offended God thus dyes to set offending men free And thus hath God the Lord my Lord and my God freed me from Eternal pains and given me hopes here and assurance hereafter of Eternal joys he hath brought me out of the neither Hell into the upper Heaven of grace here which shall be glory hereafter he hath freed he hath freed me from Eternal death and purchased for me Eternal life he hath broken he hath broken the chains of sin by which Satan held me and led me captive at his will and doth lead me forth by and with the chains of his Eternal and everlasting love enabling me through grace to do his own holy will And what Lord shall I render unto thee for all these thy benefits thou Lord knowest my unabillity and my poverty I am I am I confess so poor yea so despicably poor O Lord as I have nothing to pay thee nor can pay thee nothing but what thou shalt give me give me then O Lord what thou wilt have me to give thee give me Oh give me I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ love to love thee fear to fear thee faith to believe in thee to depend on thee and to rowl my self upon thee hope to trust in thee and joy to rejoyce in thee with joy unspeakable Ah Lord God give me thy self yea all thy self that I may give thee all my self and though I do I confess already owe thee mine all yet I would willingly owe thee yet more and though I have nothing to pay thee yet I desire and heartily desire to owe the more to be more indebted unto thee for I delight to be thy great debtor yea and would be thy greatest and so I confess I should be though thou shouldest neither give nor forgive me any more then thou hast already forgiven and given me Ah Lord I know that for all thy gifts of grace mercy pardon and forgiveness that thou expecteth only an acknowledgement that I am thine all and that I owe thee my self and mine all the freedom Lord Ah Lord the freedom all the freedom all the freedom that I desire is to be thy
when we love our Selves only that is chiefly for our selves for our own sakes such desire Heavens joys to enjoy them because they are the greatest joys 't is not Heaven for God but God for Heaven that they would and that they mind they love the wages but not the work the Crown but not the Cross to reign with Christ and as Christ doth but not to suffer with Christ and as Christ did to wear his Crown of Glory but not his Crown of Thorns to live as he doth but not as he did to be his Servant in Heaven but not his Disciple on Earth to have the recompence of Reward there as a good and faithfull Servant but not to serve him here as a Son or a Servant they would willingly have their own will done both on Earth and in Heaven but not his on Earth no not for Heaven they would believe in him but not suffer for him they would live with him there but not dye with him here they fly many times from sin because of the pain woe grief and torment it will bring they fly from the punishment not from the sin they hate not sin as it is sin and because it is Sin for many times they love the sin which they commit not which they dare not commit and so they many times do good but not because it is good and for that it is the Command of God their delight is not to him nor his ways nor to the keeping of his Commandments but their delight is â—o delight themselves the end of all their aim and the aim of all their end is to please themselves and therefore if at any time they do good it is to do good to themselves 't is not for God's sake nor for goodness sake but for their own sakes for many times they do what they would not do and seem to love what they do not love and to hate what they do not hate they prefer the flesh to please the flesh and to enjoy fleshly pleasures before the pleasing of God and the enjoying of God and spiritual pleasures they prefer Communion with the Creature before Communion with the Creator and their own low base ends before his high holy great and glorious ends how dully droopingly faintly feebly coldly and sluggishly do they go about Gods work and service any thing that concerns his honour and glory what icy frozen benumm'd dead hearts have they thereunto though in the doing of all this it is to do for themselves to work for themselves and to serve themselves but how Ah how jollily cheerfully lively nimbly quickly ardently and hotly do they go about the things that no whit at all concerns God but themselves how stoutly strongly and vigorously do they wrestle for the world and the things of the world and to have a blessing of increase on their works and labour for the flesh but how ah how faintly cowardly and feebly do they wrestle with God in duties in prayer meditation hearing and reading the word of God as if they would not that blessing or at least cared not for it thus God's work and Soul work is to them of little concernment and when they do mind the Soul and Heaven it is because of its happiness they then seek God for Heavens sake but never Heaven for God's sake and even then when the Lord sends a fair wind with the breath and spirit of his grace into their hearts to hasten them forward to their place of rest and to make them to sail over the floods and tempests of tentations and waves of opposition yet then Ah then so selfish fond stupid and ignorant are they as they hoyse up all the Sayls they can to go against this sweet new fresh gale they row and tug and toyl to go back from their Port from their Haven Harbour which is so near them desiring not to come so soon to their journeys end they desire not so soon to end their journeying travel and pains in the flesh they prefer this travel and toyl and care before that peace and rest and ease and joy and though this all all this be but vanity and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit yet so contrary are they to God and his ways that they will none of them as long as they can these they gladly and willingly will put off that day for this nay though God do at times shew some of them Heaven as he did Paul and they behold things utterable and with Peter see the glory of the Lord which is unconcivable yet these foresights and fore-tasts being taken from them or they from it Ah how soon do they forget that ever they saw any such thing how soon how gladly willingly and cheerfully do they return to Egypt the place of their Captivity and joyfully and heartily feed on the Garlick and Onions yea on the husks that Swines feed on so much love they have to themselves as they forget God and that they were Created for him and unto good works to please and serve him such then as thus love or love thus are self-lovers only or chiefly and therefore not right or true lovers because they love not God rightly therefore not truly for he is to be beloved first of all most of all beyond and above all he being our only chief supream Soveraign superiour and best good all good being in him and flows only from him he containing all and being contained by none 54. But as for me O Lord as for me I know O Lord I know that there is none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee a Door-keeper O Lord a Door-keeper in thy House do I much prefer choose and embrace rather than to dwell in Tents or Tabernacles with the wicked with those that know thee not and that fear thee not I much rather Ah Lord thou knowest that I had much rather be afflicted and choose and prefer banishment poverty contempt disgrace imprisonment and death for thy sake and the Gospels as thy Servant rather yea much rather than to enjoy all these pleasures in the flesh these fleshly pleasures with the wicked any life O Lord and any death yea that life and that death in that place and condition as may bring thee most glory do I most humbly and unfeignedly beg in Jesus Christ and for his sake Ah Lord God I hast me unto thee I desire to flye into thee and to be found ever in thee yea though thou shouldest make all my life as Paul's and Peter's were when they saw and enjoyed in part those blessed joys prepared and laid up for the blessed yea though I could always see Heaven open as Stephen and thou O Lord my Jesus and my Christ standing at the right hand of God should not would not my heart heartily say with Simeon Lord now let thy servant depart in peace for mine eyes have seen thy great Salvation would it not cry out none but Christ none but
in me 143. And seeing that the more holy we are the more heavenly we are and the more like unto thee O most heavenly and most holy Lord God that is throughout holy in Spirit Soul and Body grant that though I am here below on earth and earth I may in holiness be like unto thee above who art in Heaven and art Heaven 144. Ah Lord God that hast fitted and prepared Heaven for me prepare me for it that I may enjoy thee all who art my all and my only Joy 145. And seeing none shall enjoy thee in Heaven but those that enjoy thee on Earth Ah Lord let me so enjoy thee here that I may long to be dissolved for ever to enjoy thee there yet not for mine own sake only but for thine own sake good Lord. 146. Ah Lord let my joy be so full of thee here on Earth as I may always long to be filled with thy fulness of joy in Heaven and to enjoy fully those pleasures that are there at thy right hand and shall endure for ever more 147. Yet O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to make me still patient to wait untill my blessed change shall come and that I may always say thine O Lord thine and not my will be done 148. Ah come Lord Jesus come when thou wilt and as thou wilt either at midnight or at the Cock crowing for though I do long for thy coming to take me hence unto thy self yet I would rather O Lord thou knowest that I had rather abide here to do thy will and for thy sake on earth than to leave thy will undone and to be in Heaven for my own sake 149. Ah Lord my Lord and my God I confess that thou hast in the abundance of thy goodness love and mercy done so much for me in bringing me out of Hell and assuring me of Heaven that even all that I can imagine to do to lose or to suffer is so little so too too little as I could wish yea and do wish that I could do more and suffer more to witness that my little will is great or desires and would be great willingly 150. Ah Lord I know and am well assured that thy goodness is so great and thy greatness so good for the sake of my soul that my soul longeth to be great in goodness to do great good things for thy great goodness sake 151. Ah Lord God seeing what thou hast done for me is to assure me of thine Eternal Love and Mercy in Jesus Christ give me I beseech thee grace that I may not turn thy gifts of grace into wantonness but for this thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me grant that it may be a strong and firm obligation unto me to depend upon thy Love and to be assured that thou wilt continue to do as thou hast begun that is continually continue to love me 152. For seeing none but thy self O Lord could do the things that thou hast done that is to love me such a loveless yea vile wretch as I am in my self I will therefore be bold to say surely the Lord will ever love me because he doth thus love me and hath ever loved me thus 153. Ah suffer me not then O Lord God holy just and true to depart from thee by setting up any other God in my heart or my heart to love choose or esteem any other good than thy self who art only good all good and able only to do me all good and to make me to do all good 154. Ah Lord God in thine own good time accomplish and finish the good which thou hast begun to work in me by causing me to depart from all evil 155. And suffer me not I humbly beseech thee for thine own great holy and dear name sake to go astray from those holy holy holy ways which thou hast set before me and written with the finger of thine own Spirit on my heart 156. But grant O Lord that my Soul may continually be ravisht with the pleasantness of them and to delight to sit always under the shadow of thy branches for thou knowest O Lord thou right well knowest how sweet and delightful the fruit of thy Word and the knowledge of thy ways is to the tast of my Soul 157. And therefore and to praise thee doth my Soul long to come into thy house to behold thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary and to hide my self under the shadow of thy wings that no evil may come nigh me to hurt me 158. Ah Lord thou that hast wrought in me holy desires to do thy whole and holy will give me grace to teach and instruct others and to tell them how willing thou art to teach all sinners to come out of their sins and to direct them how to walk well pleasing unto thee and to lead them by the hand that they slip not 159. Ah Lord suffer me not to do as do the men of the World to labour to heap up and gather these things that profit not and to leave behind me much of these low earthly outward things that endure but for a season but let me rather cast off these garments bespottted in the flesh and follow thee naked and gather up and distribute those true and heavenly riches which shall make the Soul glad and rich and honourable for ever that my heirs may be heirs of Heaven and not of Earth 160. Ah Lord Let all the Worlds all be all unto me as I was unto thee when in it and of it even as a menstruous cloth and my all not worth any thing at all 161. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind earth any more with an earthly but with a heavenly mind and that my heart may be always there where my true only and everlasting treasure is and that I may live in the World as if I were not of the World and use these things below as low things even as if I used them not 162. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind these things my self which I teach and labour to have others forget and not to mind and so save them but perish my self 163. Ah Lord full of grace give me grace to shew forth unto all that all my covetings ambition and longings are for the things above and not for these things here below and that these things here are fit and only fit for such as have their hearts and affections here 164. Ah Lord sure yea most sure it is that those that are risen with thee will seek the things that are above even where thou sittest at the right hand of God and that those that do it not are not yet risen but lye dead in the grave of their sins 165. Ah Lord suffer not the World to deceive any that their Souls may not be deceived and they perish for ever in their sins 166. But bring them all home Ah Lord bring them all home unto thy self and betroth them all to thy self here by
love is thy self for thou art not only a loving God but a God of love and therefore thy love is as thy self had never beginning nor shall never have end 270. Ah blessed love that is thus durable and unchangable and happy yea thrice happy he that is thus beloved being sure to be beloved ever thus 271. If a man or woman in the flesh hath unspeakable joy pleasure and delight to be divorc'd from one which they hate beyond and more than any thing and are instead thereof marryed unto one which they dearly love yea which they love more dearly than any thing in the flesh 272. Ah what joyes Ah what delights and ravishing pleasures shall they have and have all they that shall be and are divorc'd from their old Husbands sin whom they hate as the Devil and fear and fly from as from Hell and are marryed unto their new new beloved Husband Christ Jesus whom they love above and more than all things as their lives as their souls yea as their Heaven for he is the life of their life the soul of their soul and the Heaven of their Heaven being their soul and bodies Eternal Everlasting rest peace portion happiness felicity and blessedness in Heaven for 273. There are no joys like to spiritual joys nor sorrow like to the spiritual mans sorrow when he mourns under that intolerable burthen of sin for a wounded Conscience who can bear 274. The unregenerate man cannot love sin and hate grace as the regenerate man loves grace and hates sin for he hath the love of God in him his Image of holiness and righteousness is renewed in him day by day he loves all his gifts and graces with his own love perfectly and so he hates all and every sin in thought word and deed which is in sincerity 275. The fleshly Voluptuous man cannot love the pleasures of the flesh as the spiritual man prizeth and loves and delights and rejoyceth in the pleasures of the spirit 276. The Wicked cannot hate the Righteous and the just so much as the just and the Righteous love the wicked though they detest abhor and hate all their sins for they know that a Saul to day may be a Paul to morrow c. They cannot see the inside of any nor know their hearts therefore they judge none but themselves knowing with what measure they mete it shall be measured to them again they also call to mind and remember what they were themselves in time past how they lived after the flesh and minded the things of the flesh c. And that where sin hath abounded graâ—â— shall much more abound that 't is by free grace that we are saved Eternal life is the gift of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and we are all unprofitable servants when we have done all 277. Sin then is opposite capital and grand Enemy to holiness as hatred is to love as darkness is to light as Hell is to Heaven as the Devil is to God 278. See then and consider how they are opposite and take notice of their contrary workings and in the end how and by what means it is that the good destroys the evil and is the Conquerour and the greatest 279. Sin is Eternal darkness and death Holiness is Eternal light and life sin shuts Heavens Gates and sets wide open Hells Holiness shuts the Gates of Hell aâ—d sets wide open those of Heaven sin wounds holiness heals sin casts down to Hell holiness raiseth up to Heaven sin kills holiness causeth to live the sinner hates God and all good and most of all God because he is good and because he is God yea because he is such a holy God as he is and he would that he were not that sin might be and might be free but the Saint or Regenerate loves all good and hates all evil and loves most of all God because he is God a holy and a just God all good yea because he is such a God as he is and as well for that he punisheth sin with Eternal death as because he rewardeth holiness with Eternal life after he hath given it with his free grace of his free will sin shall be ever in Hell as well as holiness for ever in Heaven the sinner in Hell shall be despighted because he lives to sin and cannot dye nor fly from sin and because that God lives and thus punisheth him with life and will not suffer death to have power over him he sees death to fly from him yea so far as it will never be nearer him than it is so that he shall ever live thus the Saints rejoyce to live because they live in God and for God a Saint loves God because he hath thus rewarded him by making him to live such a life as this that is to his praise and because God was ever thus and shall be thus ever he knoweth he shall be ever so also death is fled from him and shall be never nearer him than it is he knoweth he shall ever live thus that is be thus ever with God in God and see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is to possess him for ever and for ever 280. Thus then holiness and sin are Opposites and Enemies but holiness destroys sin as light doth darkness this eternal darkness of sin must vanish when this eternal everlasting light of holiness doth appear thus is it conquered and overcome because holiness is from God and sin from the Devil holiness from the Creator sin from the Creature holiness had never beginning nor shall never have end sin had a beginning and therefore not from the beginning the Devil then brought sin into the World but God who is holiness was so before time before that ever the World or the Devil was sin then is the lesser being from the Creature the worser being from the Devil holiness the greater being from the Creator the better being and proceeding from him that is all good and giveth all good to all to make them good all yea all good as himself for all the good that is in all the Creatures in Heaven and oâ— earth is from his good he filleth them all but emptyeth not himself at all he is still the same still full yea so full still as he overfloweth still into them from his own fullness and they though filled full yet do they still receive from his fulness without having in them any emptiness being always full from the very beginning that they are with him and yet are they continually receiving as if they were as well emptyed as filled thus doth our good gracious loving and merciful God satisfie us and resatiate us every moment giving us what we ask not what we want not what we know not and though he doth thus increase his blessings by blessing us yet doth he not suffer them to decrease in us when given us but we retain all hold fast all keep all rejoyce in all and give
ravishing joyes that God hath prepared and laid up for all those that truly love him I intend not to speak any thing touching thâ— method nor to crave the excuse of any for any thing that may not savour with them I know from whom I have received it and he I am sure will patronize and protect it and bless it in some measure I hope unto all that shall read it but whatever success it find I shall find I am sure all that I seek for which is peace within during this life and honour glory and immortality in the World to come which good Lord grant for Christ his sake unto all those that love thee anâ— wait for thine appearing And thus dear hearts I leave you to the guidance of the gooâ— Spirit of the Lord to direct you in all your thoughts and words that they and all your actions as well as mine may be now and always acceptable in his sight who is our Strength anâ— our Redeemer to him who is able to keep you from the hour of Temptation and to preservâ— you blameless unto the hour of his coming commit and commend you remaining In London Anno 1654. IN the Name of the most Holy Glorious and blessed Trinity God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost one God blessed for ever to whom be given and ascribed as all due is and to none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving by me and by the whole world of his Elect Now and for Evermore Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it THomas Arundell the poorest vilest basest and unworthiest of all the servants of the living God altogether unworthy of that most Worthy Glorious and right Honourable Title but trusting on his mercy and free Grace to be made worthy through the merits and worthiness of Jesus Christ and in him to be accounted worthy Doth in all humility of heart most humbly beg and implore his Divine Majesty in Jesus Christ to inspire bless and assist him with his holy Spirit that he may here following set down only the sincere breathings and longings of his soul in truth and sincerity of heart and that he may grow daily from one degree of grace unto another from step to step untill he come to that height and fulness of measure of holiness appointed by God in Jesus Christ who is the Fountain the Ocean and the fulness of all Happiness and Blessedness being God equal with the Father Blessed for ever and ever A Prayer O Most Holy most Glorious Eternal incomprehensible Lord God full of Grace and Truth Maker and Giver of all things both in Heaven and in Earth from all Eternity unto all Eternity thou art and there is none besides thee God blessed for ever and ever Thou givest O Lord freely fully and continually and art never weary nor repentest all our springs are in thee and from thee thou canst not increase nor diminish whatever is done for or against thee Ah Lord my God give me so much of thy self as I may be like unto thee in all things by grace here and in glory hereafter that I may stedfastly faithfully heedfully carefully and circumspectly do thy whole and holy will on earth until I come to glorifie thy Name in Heaven O Lord conform my will unto thy most holy and most blessed will that I may serve and please thee by all my thoughts words and actions not turning aside to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Let thy most holy and most blessed Spirit teach me lead me guide me and so direct and govern me that the thoughts of my heart the words of my mouth and the works of my hands may be now and always acceptable in thy sight O Lord my Strength and my Redeemer O Lord that searchest all hearts and triest the Reins pondering all our actions be pleased in Jesus Christ to look down upon me poor vile sinfull dust and ashes the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men and for his sake wash away all my iniquities and purge me from all my sins and my transgressions known or unknown secret or revealed past present and to come and for the merits of that most dear and pretious bloud of thy dear and only Son which was I believe shed for me on the Cross O Lord grant that I may appear blameless and spotless before thy Throne of Grace and Justice at all times when I come before thee that thou mayest have delight in me and in all the works of my hands and mayest according to thy good promise graciously hear and answer my petitions and requests which I most humbly and unfeignedly desire may be framed in my heart by thy holy Spirit that they may be according to thy holy mind and will and find acceptation through the mediation and merits of thy dear only and beloved Son Jesus Christ the Righteous And grant O most mercifull and loving Father in Jesus Christ my Redeemer that I may set down from time to time the only Dictates of thy holy and most blessed Spirit unto my poor Soul not any head-notions but my very hearts frame and only desires and motions that they may both then and ever after refresh rejoyce glad and comfort me and cause me to bring forth fruit to newness and amendment of Life for the honour and glory of thy great Name and grant that I may ever renounce all merit or worthiness in my self for the very least of all thy mercies even for the crumbs that fall by thy providence from the Childrens Table Sure I am the more light I have from thee O Lord my God I shall the better and clearer see my own darkness the more I have of thy wisdom the better I shall see the foolishness of all worldly wisdom and the errours of my own ways the more I have of thee the less I shall have of my self the more thou shalt be pleased to give me the less I shall confess I deserve and the more thou shalt be pleased to lift me up the lower I will cast my self down Ah Lord God teach me to know my self that I may hate my self teach me to know thee rightly not in the History only but in the mystery also not only without but also within that I may love thee in fear and fear thee with true unfeigned sincere spotless love wean me O Lord from the World and the World's loves let me dye to the World and to all things in it that I may live to thee Ah take me from the world ere thou takest the world from me fit me for thy self ere thou takest me to thy self let my last days be my best days and my last thoughts my best thoughts let me not live one moment longer than to do thee service and let that only be my aim and my end let thy work be my wages and thy wages my work O Lord God in Jesus Christ I most humbly
nothing in comparison oâ— thee but all things in subordination to thee 24. I love affliction because in it I saw thee in me and my self in thee 25. I love affliction because by it I saw that thou didst love me 26. I love affliction because it taught me to love thy Statutes to choose them imbrace them and delight in them 27. And I will love affliction because it will keep me in the ways of thy Statutes 28. I love afflictions because they are lovely and sent from thee the God of Love to me in Love 29. I love afflictions because thou hast sanctified them to me and me by them 30. I love affliction because since that I was deeply afflicted for sins I have not been afflicted with sins triumph nor with reign 31. I love afflictions because thou hast made them O God unto me lovely 32. I love afflictions because thou hast ever sweetned them unto me by Sanctification 33. I love afflictions because by them â—hou hast taught me how to bear afflictions 34. I love afflictions because by them â—hou hast taught me how to afflict my self â—hat is my flesh for sins afflictions 35. O my God give me what afflictions â—hou wilt so by them thou suffer me not to â—fflict thee who I know never took'st pleasure to afflict me 36. If I had not known afflictions meâ—hinks I had never sought to learn to know â—hee nor thy knowledge 37. If I had not been undone I may justly â—ear I had been for ever undone 38. Give me O Lord as many sanctified afflictions as thou pleasest for then in the midst of them I am sure I shall please thee 39. O Lord suffer not any affliction to afflict me with murmurings or repinings which I am sure will afflict thee 40. I desire ever to praise thee O Lord â—or that I never had affliction in the flesh to â—y remembrance but it brought me comâ—ort in the Spirit 41. So that I may say through grace â—y afflictions have been my best and choicest â—enedictions 42. So esteeming them give me O Lord his grace to esteem them as tokens and â—gns of grace 43. O Lord make me ever thankfull fâ—â— all these thy afflictions which deserve much thanks 44. O Lord I heartily thank thee for thâ— thou hast made my heart such as it do truly thank thee for them 45. Give me grace O Lord to will thâ— Will and to submit to all thy Wills will 46. Ah Lord give me grace to knoâ— thy Will a will to learn to know thy gracâ— 47. Thy glory is my glories end thâ— end is my glories aim 48. I desire no other honour O Lord than to have the honour to be thy Servant 49. I will rejoyce in any Condition sâ— may be in the Condition of thy Servant 50. O Lord I am willing to do any woâ—â— so it may be thy work 51. Thy glory O Lord is my only loâ—ing my only joy delight desire aim and enâ— 52. O Lord let me never be ashamed do thy work though never so mean in eyes of Men let it be always beautifâ— honourable and glorious to my eyes heâ— will and affections 53. Give me Christ O God on any terâ— and conditions and I will confess them be honourable terms and conditions advâ—tagious and glorious 54. I had much rather haye Communâ— with Christ in a Dungeon than be adorned and ever possess all Solomon's outward glory in a Palace 55. Communion with Christ will I am sure make me content in all places and conditions 56. In Christ I am sure there is fulness of joy and all true peace and comfort though without any of all the worlds comforts 57. In Christ there is all pleasure though in the World frowns disgrace and displeasures 58. In Christ there is true light though in the World dark Dungeons 59. Thy smiles O Christ my Christ are my Heaven and thy frowns let me never know for I fear them as the worst of Hell 60. Let me enjoy that Heaven and I care not for all other Hells 61. Ah sweet Jesus let thy will be my will that my will may be always according to thy will 62. Let nothing O Lord satisfie me but my assurance of being in thee and thou in me 63. Let me always O Lord meditate on thy love and mercies in loving me 64. Ah suffer not any thing in this world of this world to content or delight me unless thou be in it my sweet Jesus 65. O Lord grant that as often as I do sin I may sigh and sorrow for sin and earnestly desire to sin no more 66. Grant that I may set all my affectionâ— and love on thee my dear Saviour and Soveraign Lord who art the Father's Glory the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 67. Grant O Lord who art my God and all my good that in all Conditions may abundantly rejoyce with true contentment and not at all to murmur or repine aâ— thy hand though heavy on me 68. Ah Lord be thou always all my thoughts all my joy and the only and alâ— the rejoycing of my heart 69. Grant that I may always love thee O my Lord more than my Life yea thaâ— the life that is the Salvation of my Soul 70. Grant O Lord that I may not so much by much labour for the joys oâ— Heaven to my self as to do thy will or earth in love only to thy self 71. Grant O Lord that all my solacâ— may be in uprightness of heart to serve thee 72. O Lord give me grace that whilst am on Earth I may labour to do thy will with my whole will as it is done in Heaven 73. Grant O Lord that I may every day yea all the day long have Communion with thee the Spirit of Grace my sole comforteâ— and only comfort 74. Grant that I may will nothing but thâ— will O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 75. I had rather have thy smiles in Hell my sweet and dear Jesus if it could be â—en thy frowns in Heaven 76. I had much rather if it could be be Hell and obey God then in Heaven and against him 77. O God give me I most humbly beâ—ech thee for Jesus Christ his sake those â—ings and those things only both for soul â—d body on earth that may prepare me â—d make me fittest for Heaven 78. I had much rather choose death â—en choose to sin 79. Though I cannot live without sin â—re yet whilst I live here suffer me not O â—od at any time to consent unto sin 80. I do believe that Christ Jesus is my Jeâ—â—s and my Christ and that he makes interâ—ssion for me every moment and ever will â—en to my very last moment 81. I had much rather enjoy affliction â—ith enjoying thee O my Saviour then all â—anner of prosperity if thou do'st not prosâ—r it 82. As long O God as thou givest me â—ead water and grace I will acknowledge â—t I have sufficient meat drink and rayâ—ent yea
â—d go not out of me never for when I â—ve thee Lord I have all that I desire â—d crave 175. I am most willing and ready to â—se my life to preserve thee O Lord but â—t to preserve my life to lose thee 176. O Lord what thou hast given me â—hich is all take when thou wilt and in â—hat manner thou wilt 177. Make O Lord thine own Conditions â—ith me I will make none with thee but â— obey thee and serve thee on thine own â—rms 178. Teach me O Lord to know my â—lf as thou knowest me and to hate my â—lf for Sin as thou lovedst me when I was â— my Sin 179. I desire to hate Sin as the Devil to â—ar Sin as Hell and to fly from Sin as from â—y wrath O great God 180. With thee I desire to leave and give â—y self O sweet Jesus receive me and acâ—ept of me 181 O Lord go with me where I anâ— go thaâ— I mâ—y be always with thee nâ— from â—hee nor do any thing without thâ— 182. O Lord let me only do what tâ— consentest unto 183. I fear Sin much more then the thor of Sin 184. Sin is my worst my greatest my strongest Enemy 185. Give me Grace and strength sweet Jesus to conquer Sin and I shall fear all other Enemies 186. Had I but one sin unforgiven thou should'st O Lord make me my â— Judge I should and could not do otâ— wise then condemn my self for ever â— Hell 187. I desire ever to magnifie laâ— praise and extol thy glorious name O Lâ— God for making Jesus Christ my Judgâ— whom thou hast appointed also to be my 〈…〉 vocate 188. Were I to choose I would choâ— no other for both 189. For sure I am I cannot lose â— cause if he plead it nor be condemn'd judging me who was judged and coâ—demn'd for me 190. He dyed for me and therefore shall not see that death 191. He hath paid my ransome and thereâ—re I must be acquitted 192. He hath suffered and therefore I all ever raign 193. He wore a Crown of Thorns that might ever wear a Crown of an Eternal â—d incomprehensible weight of Glory 194. He is risen and hath led Captivity â—aptive that I might be delivered for ever â—t of all Captivity 195. He is ascended up on high and â—erefore I am sure he will lift me up unto â—m 196. He is gone to prepare a place for â—e therefore I am sure I shall be for ever â—ell plac'd 197. He is sate down on the right hand â—f God and hath convinc'd and conquer'd â—ll my accusers and enemies therefore I â—hall in quiet rest and perfect peace sit â—own with him and by him 198. He hath all power and Authority â—iven him by God therefore I am sure no â—ower shall or can hurt me 199. He hath provided a place for all his Children and Servants therefore I will not â—e afraid nor fear 200. He hath promised and he is faithfull therefore I will believe and not doubt but rejoyce 201. O Lord let me fear nothing but â— nor love nothing but thy â—ear 202. My love O Lord to thee is suâ— thy love to me 203. O Lord put the vail of thy feaâ— fore my eyes and my heart that I â— not sin against thee by neither 204. Ah Lord God suffer me nâ— more to doubt of thy love seeing thou â— so freely and willingly given the Son of love even thy dear only eldest natuâ— and beloved Son Jesus Christ to dye me and in my place and stead 205. Ah sweet Jesus Be thou pleased to take up thy aboad in my heart and dwell there as I may always find thâ— there to comfort me and to direct â— how to walk well pleasing unto thee â— me always hear thee speaking to me hoâ— I shall do every thing I take in hand to dâ— so that all my thoughts words and deed may tend only to thy honour and glory tâ— Credit of the Gospel the good of otherâ— and the eternal Salvation of mine own Soâ— 206. Ah Lord give me grace in all â—flictions to consider that it 's much less the I deserve and that thou mightest justly haâ— sent them on me sooner 207. Hell O Lord I confess is only mâ— desert what less thou givest me is moâ— â—n I have or can deserve and less punishâ—nt then the least of my Sins hath deserved 208. Therefore in all Conditions I desire â—less thy name and to praise thee with a â—nkfull contented and rejoycing heart 209. Let O Lord all thy afflictions teach and tell me that thou art mindfull of â— and that they are friendly yea Father-Visitations and Tokens of thy Fatherly â—e love in Jesus Christ 210. O Lord suffer me not to sell my â—tion in Heaven for any Portion of earth earth the Honours Riches or Pleasures â—ereof 211. Let even this Portion thy service â—d work O God be preferred by me and dearer to me then all things of this world 212. A Christian once in Christ united him cannot be taken out of him no more â—n the same water cast into the Sea can taken out again for he is become a part Christ even as the drops that fall into â—e Sea are forthwith a part thereof 213. Seeing then thou hast made me one â—th thee received me a little drop into â—y self the Ocean of Blessedness and of goodness happiness and felicity My â—eet Jesus I am sure I shall never be sepaâ—ted from thee 214. Let me O God so live the remainder of all my life here on earth as that â— mayest not be ashamed to be called my â— and to give me eternal life hereafter in â—ven 215. O sweet glorious and glorifieâ— sus inhabiting Eternity from all Eterâ— look not on me as I am in my self witâ— thee but as one in thee even as a mâ—ber of thy blessed self 216. Love me O Lord God â— thine own love even with that love iâ— sus Christ wherewith thou lovest thine â— 217. When O Lord I have thee thâ— alone I have what I desire yea and all I desire for thou art all and the only sire of all my desires 218. Give me O Lord thy self thoâ— without any thing else and I will never thee any thing else 219. But though thou dost O God â— me all things else and not thy self I â— account it even as nothing 220. Having thee alone My dear Jeâ— I have all things and having not theâ— have nothing that I truly love 221. Give me then thy self and â— shall content me but unless thou dost â— me thy self I am resolved never to be â—tented 222. Give me then so thy self O Lâ— â—o art my Delight as I may do all things â— thee and nothing at all without thee 223. Give me so thy blessed self as I may â—ays enjoy thee beholding thy glorious â—e and the light of thy blessed Counteâ—ce and may hear thy most sweet and â—mfortable voice to comfort revive â—d refresh me 224. Be thou O
Prisoner never any man desired so much to be let out of Prison as I do to be put in never any slave desired so much to be free as I doe to be bound unto thee O God my God unto thee unto thee my God never any man desired so earnestly to pay his debts as I desire to be further and to be more indebted give me O Lord I beseech thee more and more that I may every day yea every moment of the day all the days of my life unto the very last moment of the last day of my life be receiving that when this life is ended I may live an Eternal life to pay thee Eternally praise and thanksgiving Be thou then Ah sweet Jesus be thou always in me that I may always be in thee stand by me continually that I may always stand upright walk uprightly never fall go with me that I may never go from thee abide O Lord abide ever in me that I may ever abide in thee act in me O Lord act ever in me that I may ever act for thee speak O Lord speak continually in me that I may continually speak for thee work for me O Lord work always for me that I may always work for thee live in me O Lord live always in me that I may always live to thee and for thee Ah Lord do all for me do all for me that all that I shall henceforth always do may be all for thee that I may choose not my own will but thy will may be my choice Ah Lord let me know thy blessed voice that I may always answer thee at thy blessed call whether it be by night or by day as Samuel did and say with him and with his heart speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with holy David for my heart is ready and with heavenly Paul what Lord what wilt thou have me to do Write O Lord I humbly beseech thy holy and divine laws of grace in my heart that with my heart I may delight in them and thy Statutes in my mind that all even all my mind may be still on them that they may be a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins let thy Commandments O Lord be no more grievous unto me but joyous that I may ever find thy yoak easie and thy burthen light Let thy word O God feed me yea let me feast on it as on marrow and fatness let it refresh and comfort my heart as with Wine on the Lees yea as Wine well refined on the Lees let it be sweeter to my tast then honey yea then the Hony-comb Ah Lord let my heart be set on it and much more delighted with it then with gold yea then with much fine gold or precious pearls let it distill into my heart to ravish it Ah Lord let it so ravish me as all my sences may be filled and delighted with its sweetness Let me O Lord hear it attentively understandingly and feelingly as thine own word which thine own mouth hath spoken that my mouth may be filled with thy praises yea that I may trumpet them forth louldly and sweetly let mine eyes always look upon thee O Lord from whence my salvation cometh to behold thy beauty thy glory and thy blessedness as in thy Sanctuary that my feet may run in the ways of thy Commandments and not grow weary and walk and not faint O Lord let me sit under the shadow of thy branches continually for thy fruit is very pleasant unto my tast there is none in Heaven O Lord that my soul desireth as thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Ah how doth my soul and my heart long to be where thou art even where thou art O God in Heaven thy dwelling place glading and rejoycing the hearts of all those that behold thee beholding the brightness the sweetness the loveliness and the lovingness of thy most glorious most beautiful and most blessed countenance which to see is life yea much better than life Ah Lord bring me then home unto thee even to my long desired home that I may ever enjoy thee and live in thee my joy in whom my soul only delighteth to live for with thee I know is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at thy right hand O God are pleasures for ever more such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive Ah Lord God I well know and believe rejoycingly that thou knowest all things and therefore knowest well how my heart and my soul panteth for thee longeth for thee coveteth for thee and most ambitiously hungreth and thirsteth after thee Ah Lord when shall that blessed time be and the day come that I shall be altogether emptyed of my own emptyness and filled with thy fulness be stript of my own raggs and cloathed with thy glorious robes be found out of my self in thee be made partaker of thine own Holy and Divine nature which is perfection and glory in glory yea perfect glory then shall I be no more mine own but thine own yea thine all so that all that I shall do shall please thee well and be right well pleassing unto thee for then I shall no longer do the evil which I would not and which I hate but the good which I would and which I love yea the good and all the good that thou O God wilt and which thou lovest it shall not then be present with me only to will but to do also even all thy holy and whole and perfect will I shall then no longer desire to be stript of any thing that is in me because O God my God thou shalt be all in me and only in me then and there I shall no longer mourn for my unholiness nor pray for more blessedness but all tears fears and cares shall be all done away my unworthiness here shall through thy worthiness O sweet Jesus be accounted worthy my unrighteousness righteous my disobedience obedience and my imperfection perfect full and entire perfection through that ever blessed most blessed and only and all blessed perfection that in the thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah who would not then for a while feed on crums that he may eat of this bread and at last sup at this feast Ah who would not who would not be content to hunger a while to be brought to this banquet of heavenly dainties who would not Ah who would not be content for a little space to sit grovelling on the ground and be covered with dust and ashes that he may at last sit at this Table who would not Ah who would not stay a while without with patience being assured at last yea and ere long to be brought in into the brides Chamber Ah who would not who would not be poor for a while to be made thus rich for ever Ah who would
words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacob's Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his arms my arms might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine enemies O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucifie themselves and their bosom sins hate themselves and their own ways persecute themselves and crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing I despicable poor I until thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most graciously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech the in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannies of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utter and total destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the House of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me until thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ and what else thou knowest to be needful or expedient for me both for Soul and Body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy Spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottom of my heart unfeignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on Earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think love God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many Millions of Millions in the body and Spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him in deed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our senses Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esteem that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joys do then sometimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when it is filled with heavenly joys yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joys of Heaven 7. And if momentany and earthly joys can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joys shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is more than faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the Soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he prefers it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall always and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our joys be so great to see God here and his Glory darkly as in a glass with fleshly eyes Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously
and all his glory in Heaven face to face with spiritual eyes yea with the eyes of his own Holy Spirit 15. And if our Joys be so great to hear of him here with the hearing of the ears Ah how great shall they be to be with him hereafter and to hear himself with an understanding heart 16. And if then our Joys be so great to enjoy him here on earth and but in part imperfectly Ah how great shall our joys and delights be to enjoy him in Heaven not in part but in perfection perfectly fully wholly and holy as he is 17. And if our Joys be so great here on earth in the midst of fears Ah how great shall they be in Heaven where we need fear no fears for that there are no fears there to fear 18. And if our Joys be here on earth so great though surrounded with many sorrows Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all sorrows shall be all done away and turned into fulness of Joy 19. And if our Joys be so great among so many displeasing displeasures even here â—n earth Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all displeasures shall all be done away and our pleasures be for evermore 20. Ah fill me then O my good God with thy blessed most blessed self and thy Joys alone that in thee only I may rejoyce 21. If the nether Springs on Earth be so sweet Ah how delicious and sweet yea sweetly delicious O God are the upper Springs of Heaven in Heaven 22. If thy left-hand mercies O God be so delightful and do so much delight and please us Ah how much more shall those of thy right-hand delight us with pleasure 23. If his foot-stool favours be so great and we esteem our selves greatly favoured by them to have them Ah how great in favour yea what great favorites shall we be when we shall enjoy in Heaven the favours of his Throne and sit on Thrones by him 24. If to see a glimpse of his glory beauty and brightness here on earth do so ravish us with delight joy and admiration so as we could and would always be content to behold it Ah how then shall our hearts be ravisht with that ravishing fulness of his bright beautifull glory when we shall in Heaven behold all his glory as he is in his Kingdom of glory with all his glorious Saints and Angels from whose beautiful brightness and glory they have all their glorious brightness and beauty and are made thus gloriously beautiful with surpassing beauty and glory being in all things made like unto him 25. If then his glory be so sweet in the bud what is it in the branch but Ah then how much greater and sweeter is the Tree that hath so many branches 26. If then so great and sweet on earth Ah how greatly great and sweet in Heaven 27. And if our delights be so great in seeking thee O God here below on earth Ah how incomprehenslbly great shall they and will they be when we shall have found thee where thou art above in Heaven 28. And seeing O God thou givest us such wages her whilst we offend thee Ah how great shall they be yea what is there but thou wilt give us when we shall offend thee no more but always please thee 29. And seeing our Heaven is so sweet on earth or our earthly Heaven so sweet which is but to see thy back part by Faith darkly as in a glass Ah how sweet yea how much sweeter shall our heavenly Heaven be or our Heaven in Heaven which is to know thee as thou art O God to be known and see thee clearly and plainly even face to face 30. And seeing thy love O God is so great to us here as it constraineth us to love thee Ah how great shall it be to us there when without constraint our greatest joy and pleasure shall be to adore and love thee 31. Ah Lord God that knowest my heart thou knowest that all the desires of my heart yea that the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart desires to love thee only and to serve thee with all my whole heart 32. If thy name O Lord be so great and fearful unto those that know thee and that know that thou lovest them Ah how fearfully great and greatly fearful shall it be unto those that know thee not but yet know thy greatness and how greatly thou hatest them 33. All Glory only Glory and continually Glory be given unto God the God and giver of all gifts grace and Glory A Prayer THe Scope Sum Contents and my intent in this following Prayer is to beseech the Lord to be always graciously present with me to watch over me and to give me in Jesus Christ and for his sake merits and worthiness his own holy and blessed Spirit to lead direct guide and govern me in all things that I shall take in hand to do to change my old heart and give me a New that I may glorifie him by a holy life and conversation all the rest of my days and especially in this place where I have so much so often and so grievously sinned against his great and holy name and walkt contrary unto him serving the Devil and obeying his lusts worlds lusts and self lusts casting his holy and divine Commandments behind my back and trampling his Precepts under my feet and that he would be pleased with me to bring home all his Elect suddenly into his Kingdom of grace here and of glory hereafter that his whole and holy will may be done by us here on earth as it is done in Heaven until he shall be pleased through the infiniteness and incomprehensibleness of the riches of his free grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ to bring us into the Holy of Holies the Heaven of Heavens even into his blessed self there for ever and for ever to sing that ever blessed ditty sweet Angelical and Eternal Song of Hallelujah of Praise Thanksgiving and Glory unto his ever blessed most great gracious and glorious name So be it Lord So be it O Lord God of Heaven and Earth most high most great and most glorious the Creator Preserver and Governor of all things who hast created all things by the word of thy power by thee only they are and were created thou willest all that thou dost and dost all that thou wilt thou O God that art the only God for there is none else there is none besides thee the God of Abraham of Isaac and of Jacob that wast with the Children of Israel in Egypt and on the Red Sea with Moses in the Wilderness with Joseph in Prison with Daniel in the Lyons den with the three Children in the fiery Furnace and with Abraham in a strange Land be with me also O God in Jesus Christ be with me also thy poor unworthy Creature and servant in this strange Land sinful place and Nation whither thou hast by
thine not do mine own works but thine Ah Lord for Jesus Christ his sake I humbly beseech thee suffer me not to be led into any temptation so as to prevail over me but though temptations fall on me I may not fall into them though sin do remain in my heart my heart may not remain in sin deliver O Lord from all evil for thine is the Kingdom the power and the glory O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Be a wall of fire and of water round about me O my God continually to keep and preserve me from all mine Enemies and Adversaries the Devil the World and the Flesh be O Lord a City of refuge unto me that I may ever hide my self in thee for then I shall be safe and sure to be free from all danger be thou mine all for all my springs are in thee and from thee But what is man that he should be clean and the Son of man that is born of a woman that he should be righteous Behold he putteth no trust in his Saints and the Heavens are not clean in his sight how much more abominable and filthy is man that drinketh up iniquity as the Oxe drinketh up water and rusheth into sin as the horse rusheth into the battel But ah my God how much more wretched am I how much more unclean filthy and abominable am I than any that was ever born of a woman I that have delighted in sin as the Drunkard in wine as the wanton in his mate how have I chosen sin prized sin imbraced sin coveted sinning and sought it as for hid Treasures it hath been sweet to my tast as the hony and the hony Comb but O Lord I know and am assured that with thee there is mercy O teach thou me to fear thee For thou art O Lord become my Portion and thou hast made me thine inheritance for ever I prize thee O Lord much above gold and the most precious pearls thy Countenance is most amiable Ah how delightful are thy ways and how pleasant a thing it is O Lord to walk in the paths of thy Commandments and to keep thy Statutes these things O Lord thou knowest are only desirable unto my soul and it longeth only to be found in thee Who Lord who can or is able to express the ravishments of that heart that possesseth thee who Lord who is able to express the joy of him that enjoyeth thee Ah how doth he as it were run over with fulness of blessings that is filled with thee even with thy blessed self who art the Fountain the Ocean the Original of all blessedness felicity and happiness Ah Lord how truly may he say that hath thee as Jacob did that he hath all though he should want all other things he that hath thee hath all things in the want of all things and he that wants thee wants all things even in the possession of all things for what O Lord what are all things without thee and what doth he Ah what can he want that hath thee who art all things yea much better than all things for he that hath thee hath life yea Eternal life and is past from death death hath no more dominion over him but he that hath thee not is dead though he liveth for he that is in thee O Lord is from all sin free he that is born of thee O God sinneth not sin hath no more dominion over him because thy seed of holiness which is sanctificaâ—ion remaineth in him such a one hath overcome the world and that wicked One with all the Powers of the Kingdom of Darkness Sin Hell Death and the Devil he that is in Christ is Crucified to the world and the world unto him he is departed from all iniquity he hath Crucified the flesh with the lusts and affections thereof he maketh no longer provision for the flesh to satisfie its Lusts for such they know that his Servants they are whom they obey whether of sin unto death or of Obedience unto Righteousness Ah blessed ever blessed and only blessed and happy condition to be thus born again of God and to sin no more to be a member of Christs mystical body bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh such shall be as assuredly Members of his glorious Body for they that are betroth'd unto him here by grace shall be hereafter married unto him in glory Ah Lord God I am sure thou knowest my heart and that though it is not what it would be or should be yet thou hast for which I desire ever to praise thee in grace and mercy made it such as it heartily desireth and longeth to be what it should be but O Lord I know that here is no perfection and that therefore it cannot be here Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ in thine own good due and appointed time bring me home to that long wished for and blessed home that I may be ever blessed in thee and with thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah Lord my Lord thou knowest how willing I am to leave all for thee lose all to enioy thee trample all under my feet and hate all for thy sake yea spend and be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness in all places whither thou wilt go even as a chast Wife giveth her self unto her Husband and delighteth to love honour and obey him and longeth for his presence when he is absent that she may lye in his bosome and be imbraced in his arms esteeming all things toys and trash to his love even so Lord thou knowest that my heart desireth and longeth to be espoused unto thee in Heaven made one with thee knit and glued unto thee that I may be thine for ever and be imbraced in thine arms and lye in thy bosome living as thine and thine only unspotted and unblameable holy O Lord as thou art holy Heaven O Lord is Heaven because it is holy yea because thou art there that art holiness therefore yea therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy and such a holy Heaven as it is to those that are there a thousand years seem but as one day so sweet is its enjoyment and one day seems as a thousand years so great is their comfort of enjoyment and therefore O Lord and to praise thee do I long to be dissolved from this body of sin which is death that I may live in thee and with thee in holiness which is Eternal life for this O Lord thou hast taught me to know and therefore my soul rejoyceth that holiness is the only felicity and chief happiness in Heaven for that makes us only like unto thee who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven Grant therefore O my God in Christ and for his sake that I may whilst here below in the flesh on earth seek after labour for and endeavour to obtain that measure and degree of holiness that my
Christ and come Lord Jesus Ah come quickly and take me to thee to be ever with thee for though to me to live were Christ yet to dye would be great gain 55. Such and all such love falsly as love their Neighbours False love to our Neighbour or loving our Neighbour falsly for themselves only for the good they do them and for the benefit and advantage alone which they receive from them were it not for this good they would not care for them nor think of them nor pray for them nor wish or desire any blessing on them if they do at any time do them any good it is for the good that thereby they hope will accrue to themselves either of praise or profit otherwaies they would rather yea much rather their loss than their gain their dishonour than their honour and they would delight more much more to hear an evil than a good report of them and were it not that they want them or may want them that they stand them in stead they would rather yea much rather dis-serve them than serve them hurt them than do them good and though with their mouths they bless them yet in their hearts they curse them envying the very happiness that they pray for on their behalf they love them for their gifts not their gifts for them yea they love their gifts but not the givers of the gifts they love their gifts not because it comes from their love but because they are lovely that is because they stand them in stead they have need of them they should be in want if they did want them if they had them not they do not praise God on their behalf and pray for a double blessing on them for this their blessing of them if they wish or desire an increase of their substance and a blessing on their labours it is because they hope they will increase in doing them good in giving to them of their substance a blessing of their labours a part and portion of their profits and if they do not do so such will curse and not bless and would if they could take from them all that they have or seem to have for their love is self-love love only to themselves for themselves therefore false love loving falsly 56. I had much rather have no portion in the World than have the World for my portion 57. For I am sure the World never did nor never will make any rich and as sure that it hath and will make many Ah too too many poor 58. For many that have had and yet shall have great Portions of this Worlds good have nor shall have none of the good of Heaven for their Portion it 's hard for a rich man here to be rich there 59. And many that have no Portion in this World of this World have God and shall have God for their sure and everlasting Portion in the World to come 60. Ah happy yea thrice happy man that hath such a Portion there though he have none here what ever be his condition he is in a blessed condition for he shall be ever blessed blessed for ever and ever 61. But Ah miserable man who art only miserable that hath no Portion there what ever Portion he hath here yea though he abound in Corn and Wine and Oyl and all this Worlds good and glory 62. Give me Ah Lord give me any Portion in Heaven though but to be a door-keeper if I may but see thy face and hear thy Voice I care not though it be with the loss of all Portions here both of riches honours and pleasures 63. If thou givest me here O Lord but food and rayment how mean soever it be I will be content therewith and heartily thank thee and if thou givest me none I will thank thee for the time past and believe I shall want none for the time to come and that shall content me 64. Ah if the want of the World be so sweet when in its want we find no want how sweet then yea how much sweeter is Heavens fulness where is all fulness of all things and therefore no want at all of any thing 65. Ah how much better is it and how much greater gain to lose this Worlds all and gain Heaven then to gain this Worlds all and lose our part of Heaven which is Heavens all yea all Heaven 66. The Worlds loss with Heavens gain I shall not account any loss but all gain yea the greatest gain I can get but Heavens loss with all this Worlds gain I shall not account any gain but a great loss yea the greatest that I could or can sustain 67. He that loseth Heaven loseth all but he that gets only this Worlds all gets nothing even nothing at all 68. I will and always will account all losses gain to win Christ and all gain losses if I lose Christ 69. Let Christ then be my gain and I care not what losses I sustain 70. For this Worlds felicity is certain but a moment but the felicity or infelicity of the World to come is not uncertain any moment but certainly good or bad from the first to the last moment which last moment will be always alike as far off as it was the very first moment being ever ever 71. Give me then Ah Lord God that endless good felicity and happiness which is like thy self shall never change but endure for ever and not that which is like my self subject every moment to all change 72. Ah Lord thou knowest I would willingly most willingly change thus my life for death and then my death for life 73. That is my life of Sin for a death to sin to put all sin to death and then death for eternal life with Christ who is my life 74. Thou knowest O Lord also that I would willingly dye to live and live to dye 75. That is to dye to sin and live to grace live in all grace and dye to all sin that to me to live may be Christ but to dye gain yea that my life may be hid with Christ in God 76. I would willingly O Lord have thee mine all that I may give thee mine all and reserve from thee nothing at all 77. All Lord All I most willingly and unfeignedly give thee Ah that thou wouldest receive all and refuse nothing at all 78. For all Lord that 's mine is thine that is all that is good for the bad I renounce and give back also to him that gave it 79. All the World is nothing being all perishable therefore can be to nothing compared but to nothing 80. Ah what a pity is it that any man should be so sickle as to love such fickle things as are these below which to day are and to morrow are not 81. For is any thing lesser worser or lighter than vanity if any thing be or can be or if this Worlds things be any thing it is it which is so much vanity and so full
joy of enjoying that true Communion with the true God though here on earth me thinks I am not on earth but in Heaven and yet I know all this is but an earthly Heaven though a Heaven 102. But how then Ah how then doth my heart rejoyce with joy unspeakable knowing that the time will come and is ever near at hand when I shall ever enjoy Heavens true joys which is God himself the joy of all joys yea all joys that are true 103. O Lord thou knowest that the Heaven which my soul desireth on earth is to do thy whole holy and blessed will on earth as it is done in Heaven 104. I desire to live O God and give my heart unto thee That hast in love and mercy given thine own unto me 105. Ah Lord my God let me so hear thy blessed most blessed voyce that my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee is to live yea to live in thee and for thee which to do is the desire I have to live 106. Give me then power O God that hast all power in thy self that I may fight powerfully against all my powerfull Enemies and by the power of thy might which is an Almighty power I may tread and trample all their powers under my feet 107. Give me O Lord give me such fear as may cause me to love thee and such love as to fear thee and to cast out all fear 108. Meditation is the heart of the heart the soul of the soul which is the strength and life of all devotion 109. When in meditation God hath spoken peace unto thy soul Ah then do thou by thanksgiving with thy heart praise laud and him extol 110. He that will have Heaven on earth must meditate on Earth of Heaven 111. To have God abide with us we must by meditation abide with him 112. To have God live in us we must with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life live to him 113. To have God dwell in us we must open our affections which is the door of our hearts to let him into our hearts and continually feast him with true and unfeigned love loving none but him in comparison of him 114. To have God love us we must love him that is make him our choice above and beyond all other things choosing him for our chief and superiour good that is beyond above and more than all other things he must have all our hearts that is our hearts more than all other things 115. To have God delight in us our Delight End and Aim must be to delight him that is by walking well-pleasing unto him all the days of our whole lives as Christ did yesterday to day and for ever 116. To have God direct us how we shall walk we must be carefull and heedfull to walk as he doth and shall direct us 117. To have God preserve us we must believe in him trust on him depend and rowle our selves upon him 118. To have God maintain us we must cast all our care upon him for the earth is his and the fulness thereof 119. To have God sustain us and be our help we must hope only in him for he will fail us never and not put any trust in Princes or in the Sons of Men for in them there is no help their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish 120. To have God be all ours we must be all his that is in thought word and deed and not think our own thoughts or speak our own words nor do our own works but do all to the praise of his holy holy holy name 121. He that would live with the Lord in Heaven must live to the Lord on earth 122. He that would have the Lord to be his Lord and his God must serve honour and obey him as his Lord and fear worship and adore him as his God 123. He that would reign with the Lord Christ in Heaven must be contented to be arraigned for him as he was for us on earth 124. He that would sit with him there in glory above must be content to sit with him that is as he did in contempt here below 125. He that would rejoyce with him there must be contented to sigh and grieve and weep and mourn as he did here 126. He that would have all things with him there must be content if he will so have it to have as he had nothing here 127. He that would be received by God his Father there as by his Father must do his will as Christ did here that is as his Son 128. He that would wear an incorruptible Crown of glory for ever there must be content if he will so have it to wear a Crown of Thorns as he did here 129. He that would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinfull bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judge to acquit him there must judge and condemn himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christ's flock and be of his Fold and of his Sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after Holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to dye their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well-doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a Person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness always dwell within me that Heaven may be always within me and that I may be always in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven
that loving these less I may love thee more love thee so as thou requirest and deservest that is above all things in heaven above or on earth below 45. I know O Lord that thou art with me of a truth because thy truth is with me that is in me of a very truth 46. Love from God fills our hearts with sincere and true love for God or God's love to us fills us with love for him his love sweetly constraineth us 47. Ah how light how light is that heart that is emptied of all sin being unburdened of that intolerable burthen for if a wounded heart cannot be born ah then when such a heart is made whole it must needs bring ease refreshing comfort and unspeakable joy 48. When God is in the heart it may be seen in the face and perceived by the words that come out of the mouth such a lustre is on the whole Man both within and without when the presence of God by his Spirit is within he is surely beautifull in the eyes of all beholders that delight and desire to behold the face of God in Jesus Christ the very Majesty of God in some sort is on such a Soul and through the glorious light of Christ's gracious face his face doth shine in the sight of God and all good men 49. I will make no condition with thee O God but only this that is to love thee only in all conditions as my God and my only good 50. Ah Lord I most unfeignedly and humbly beseech thee let me never taste of this bitter bitter that is to find any sin sweet 51. But let all sin even all oh all Be unto me as wormwoed and gall 52. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee never suffer the remembrance of the former pleasures of sin to please me but let their remembrance be altogether displeasing hatefull and detestable and to be delivered from them let it be unto me as the deliverance from Death and from Hell 53. Let the fire of thy grace quench totally the heat and fire of all and every lust sinfull and disordinate affection that I may henceforth burn only in the fire of Love to thy Laws 54. The true Life of God in a Christian is most of all and plainliest seen by his hatred to all evil and sin and by his unfeigned sincere ardent and continual Love to all that is good he loves all that is good in all to see it though afar off to hear it spoken of by any whatsoever but to find it in himself most of all joys and satisfies him to see any evil committed or to hear any evil spoken by any troubles and afflicts him such is his Antipathy against it that he will not give it the least healing or parley no nor cast the least glance of an eye to favour it it is abominable to him in thought word and deed and in all its circumstances even in all And as well hath the whole man all the faculties of the Soul hatred to the least circumstance of all ill as well as to the greatest but the degree and measure is according to the measure and degree or nature of the ill but it 's alike hated sincerely as well the very least as the very greatest of all And in the same manner and measure is his unfeigned Love to all that is good he thanks and praiseth and prizeth God for good thoughts as heartily and sincerely as for good words or actions because he as plainly seeth the true Love of God in the very least particular as in the very greatest And 't is the Love of God which is his presence in Love that makes his Soul to leap within him with joy When that the Soul sees his God it sees all his good his Heaven his Bliss his Peace his Love his Joy his Rest his whole and only Delight Contentment and Comfort But in the most good he sees him most and therefore desireth to do the most good that ever was done or is possible to be done and therein he is best pleased because that pleaseth his God best and to please him is his only pleasure all his pleasure joy and delight only it is his Heaven and therefore he makes it his only happiness 55. Ah God my God and my only good let it be I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee in Jesus Christ always thus with me that my soul may be satisfied may be solaced may be refresht and comforted by thy living in me and by my living always in thee and unto thee to thine eternal honour praise and glory for thine own glorious and holy names sake give me this grace that I may live this life here on Earth until I come to live that life that I shall after this is ended live with thee in Heaven So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 56. Ah how happy thrice happy are we Who both tast know feel find savour see That thou livest in us and that we live in thee 57. Empty me O Lord of all even of all that I may be fit to receive and be filled with thy fulness even with thy blessed most blessed self the Ocean and Sea of all goodness 58. As long as we are full or in part filled with world flesh or self so much less room there is for God for when a Vessel is full it can receive nothing and according to the measure it 's empty it is capable to receive 59. How then Ah how then should we labour to empty our hearts of all that is not of God that we may be filled only with God with God only and always be thus empty that we may be thus always filled for it 's clear according to the measure we are empty we are capable to receive and we shall receive from God of his blessed fulness of unspeakable joys and pleasure if we are willing and labour earnestly and sincerely to empty our selves of our selves and of all fleshly worldly pleasures and joys which are but meer fancies vanities fooleries and toyes 60. Ah Lord God the Fountain and the Ocean that can never be emptied empty I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee in the name and for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour Jesus Christ my heart of all things even of all what ever it be that is not according to thy heart that is not of thee that I may pant and gape hunger and thirst long and desire to be filled with thee alone alone with thee with thee who art only desirable and to be desired only grant that all the Worlds all may be more and more unto me nothing even nothing at all that thou mayest be all mine and I all thine that I may love all things out of thee less and less dayly and thee O God more and more untill I so love thee as it may not be possible for me to love thee more that my Love may cause me so to sink into thee as I may see my self in
in despising these things here below than in prizing of them and to have a heart to trample them under my feet than to set them up in my thoughts and affections These being low as they are let me O God keep them always under my feet and trample on them as on dirt and dung minding these high and holy things above which thou givest only in love and to those only whom thou lovest 81. Ah Lord God swallow me up into thy self that I may be found there naked and empty of all things out of thee and besides thee so that I may only possess thee my only good bliss and blessedness 82. Ah Lord God set always before my eyes mine Eternal and Everlasting Portion of thy grace and grant that I may be made thereby a worthy partaker of thine infinite and eternal glory in glory so be it Lord so be it 83. If any other condition were fitter for me than my present condition I know that the Lord would give it me and fit it for me and fit me for it 84. Ah Lord give me then a contented and thankful heart always and in all conditions whatever seeing thou hast caused me this day to know a fresh and to be assured that thou art always with me takest care for me and watchest heedfully over me and that thou wilt be ever unto me as hitherto thou hast been my support strength assistance and satisfaction 85. If God be come down into our hearts then all powers that are not of God are brought down are brought under into subjection unto his holy Laws by obedience unto his Divine Commandments for where he is present all that is not of him must absent it self Two being not agreed they cannot live together and the stronger will turn out the weaker 86. Ah Lord let me always eye thee eying of me and let my eye be never off from thee for I know that thine is not nor cannot be off from me 87. Ah Lord let me seriously consider that all things that are done by thee are done for the good of all those that love thee 88. Therefore whatever is done at any time whether in Heaven or Earth let me always say so Lord would I have it seeing thou that art Lord of all things and over all even God blessed for ever and for ever wilt have it so 89. Ah Lord suffer not my vile will to controul at any time thy Divine Will but let thine be always mine and mine according unto thine 90. Ah Lord suffer me never to go about to bring thy will to mine but always and in all things labour with all the Powers of my Soul to bring mine to thine 91. And after I have ask'd let me be content with what ever I have knowing that thou O Lord seest and knowest my condition 92. Ah Lord swallow me up into this blessed condition that all conditions be a like unto me and that I may esteem them blessings and thee and me alike blessed not in a like degree but in truth Thou God blessed over all and I in thee blessed by thee through thy blessed goodness unto me 93. Ah Lord be thou with me where ever I am mine and then I am sure I shall not want any thing because O God thou that art all fulness wilt I know and am sure of continually fill me 94. Thou art O God my good and therefore no evil can or shall come nigh me to hurt me for I know that thou always watchest over me for good and that thou never slumbrest nor sleepest 95. Ah Lord thy shadow is unto me safety let me then always sit under the shadow of thy wings that thy Word in me may be always the food and the life of my Soul 96. Ah Lord God if thou hast made our life thus sweet unto us over all things and above all things it is because thy self being thus the life of our life we may be taught to spend it so for thee as we may ever preserve it for thee to live unto thee for ever and for ever to praise thee 97. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thou hast at this time made me so to touch thee feelingly so as to feel vertue come out from thee into me that mine eyes are opened so as I see thee and know thee to be with me and in me 98. Ah Lord let this light of thine never depart from me but let me more and more be swallowed up into it that by it I may be made more and more able to comprehend it and live in it 99. Ah Lord God let these thy dawnings draw me after thee to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness where ever thou goest and let me never grow weary nor faint in the way where ever thou shalt lead me or what ever thou shalt bid me to do though it be to spend and to be spent But grant that I may be always thine as I know and see through thy good grace in me that thou art mine 100. Ah what a most blessed thing is it to live in the Peace of the Lord and to dye with his Peace 101. Ah Lord suffer me not to purchase the whole World if it were to be had with the committing of one sin against Conscience for what shall it profit me to gain the whole World if I lose my own Soul 102. Ah Lord how happy is the man that knoweth thee only that is is so swallowed up into thee as he knoweth none nor nothing but thee thou art O God over all and above all in him and he is only thine and none but thine 103. Ah how low how low is it to know any thing but thee O God or incomparison of thee 104. Ah Lord God let me so know thee as I may comprehend thee that I may despise all other knowledge and rest satisfied in this one thing only necessary 105. To know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent is the depth of Wisdom and all things to it in comparison of it is meer foolishness 106. The Angels know not more and this knowledge of theirs is but in a degree and ah how low and inferiour to that knowledge that is in thee that is O God in thee in thee 107. This knowledge is so sweet in its manifestation that it drowns and consumes both men and Angels in its contemplation 108. This knowledge is so deep and sweet that all both Men and Angels do thee only greet 109. Thus to know thee O God is to be in some measure like unto thee filled with all wisdom and knowledge 110. But this alone is given us all to know from thy self who knowest all things and givest unto none but what thou knowest is for thine own glory O God and their Everlasting good 111. Fill O Lord fill all the hearts of those that unfeignedly seek thee and this thy Wisdom that they may become fools to themselves and only wise in thâ—â— and for thee 112.
137. And when we have received it let us lay it up that is lay it out that it may increase for he that hath most more shall be given him he shall have most of all 138. The blessing of the Almighty shall and will always go along with those that diligently seek him they shall be sure to see no evil all their days 139. The Blessedness and the happiness of the Saints is to see God and to know him to be theirs 140. He shall have him that would have him he shall be with him that desireth him he shall be taught by him that giveth himself up unto him and he shall know him that followeth after him in his ways and that delighteth in the keeping of all his Commandments 141. Delight thy self in the Lord so shall no evil come upon thee but all good shall follow thee every where 142. Fear the Lord and thy days shall be many 143. Watch over all thy words and let thy thoughts be as the light without any darkness 144. Have him always nigh thee that thou mayst not do the thing that is not of him 145. Comfort thy self and shake off all fear for the Lord will honour thee by doing his will in the midst of all those where he shall carry thee 146. Give thy self up to him more and more that thou mayest be taught by him and know him 147. Let thy knowledge be of him to know his will that thou mayest walk in his holy ways and do all that he shall command thee that thou mayest possess the good that he hath laid up for thee in himself 148. Ah Lord cause me to see every thing as it is in it self then shall I esteem all things out of thee as Paul did as dirt dung and dross compared to thee then shall I also know well how to want and how to abound 149. Ah Lord cause me more and more to know thee as thou art to be known for then shall I be more and more weary of all things out of thee and esteem them as Pebbles to Pearls yea all as nothing for alas alas what is all when well considered when seen and known to be just as it is 150. If we do not O God see thee in all things what do we see when our understandings are enlightned by thee but Poverty in the greatest riches but ignominy in the greatest honour and glory but foolishness in the greatest wisdom weakness in the greatest strength deformity in the greatest beauty and meer baseness in the very greatest splendor of earthly Majesty All things put together I am sure are to such an eye but a thing of nought a poor empty low thing nay nothing 151. Ah Lord shall we be such fools as to esteem our selves wise to get and lay up such things as can do us no good as can stand us in no stead at all in the greatest need of all shall we Ah shall we spend our time our most pretious time for that which is so full of vanity that makes us so vain as to think our selves wise and to lay it up even against that great and terrible day of the Lord when the reward will be shame and grief and anguish and vexation of spirit 152. Ah let them O Lord God that know thee not trifle away their pretious time thus but spend it to get thee sure who only canst make us truly rich wise honourable beautiful and blessed for ever and ever 153. All the Angels are but as a drop compared O God to thee they would be as a troubled Sea or a Sea of trouble if thou should'st go out of them 154. None knoweth thee O God or can speak of thee as thou art thou art glorious in holiness fearful in praises doing wonders the earth man is filled with thy Majesty and thy glory the dust man doth praise thee 155. Ah Lord let me not mince thy words cut or carve them or put them into any other frame than as thou shalt give them me if they go forth rough thou wilt make them smooth and fit them for those for whom thou hast appointed them 156. He that hath chosen the Lord for his God shall have him yea hath him and shall ever have him 157. Ah Lord God that soul that loveth thee and knoweth how lovely thou art cannot at all be satisfied with any nay not with all these high things here below the riches the honours and the pleasures of the world 158. It is only Heaven and the things of Heaven that are in his eye for all the things on earth he easily thinks them into nothing and winks their beauty into blackness and deformity 159. Ah Lord open the doors of Heaven yea set wide open those Everlasting gates of thy goodness that the scales of ignorance and worldliness being taken away from before the eyes of my understanding I may through thy light see light even that light of thine to see and contemplate those most glorious things in glory even those which thou hast laid up and prepared and wilt give unto all those that wait upon thee that desire thee know thee and love thee 160. Such as have thee O God have and are sure they shall have always all and above by much what they can desire to have ask or crave 161. Thou O our God that fillest Heaven and Earth with thy bounty and thy goodness wilt not fail to fill also all the hearts of all those that draw nigh unto thee and that depend upon thee 162. Such shall be sure to lack nothing that take care how to please thee 163. They that make this one thing their only pleasure shall never lack the thing that shall make them happy and blessed for ever 164. Thou lovest us not O God because that we are what we are but because thou art what thou art thy Love is free from thy self none constraineth thee as none can give unto thee 165. Ah Lord God I know that thou lovest us not because we love thee but we it is that love thee because that thou lovest us 166. Thou art O God all things to all those that depend upon thee food to the hungry drink to the thirsty riches to the poor wisdom to the simple liberty to them that are bound comfort to the comfortless even all things to all in life in death and after death 167. Let the wicked the men of the World have their fill of the World the Corn Wine and Oyl thereof but let me O God my God have my fill of thee for thou art much better by much than all things either in Heaven above or on Earth below do but shine upon me O Lord with the light of thy Countenance that I may see thy light and I shall rejoyce with unspeakable joy 168. All things O Lord God compared to thee are blackness and darkness and nothingness thou only art and there is none besides thee wherefore my Soul saith with David whom have I in Heaven but
thee and what is there on all the Earth in comparison of thee all other joys are false joys and all other things are nothing but meer toyes for with thee O God and only with thee is all joy unspeakable joy and everlasting pleasures are at thy right hand 169. Ah Lord our God thou art all in all things for without thy presence the best and the greatest things are nothing to that Soul that knoweth thee what thou art 170. Thou art O God the sweet of all sweets the light of the light the glory and the bliss in glory As in thy presence is all joy So in thy absence is all sorrow to all Souls that are acquainted with thee and to whom thou hast manifested thy self Therefore the Angels those glorious knowing Creatures endeavour to pry into all thy mysteries Such an endless and bottomless delight there is in them all from the greatest to the very least of all 171. This indeed is such a high and glorious Mount from which we may justly desire never to come down but to have there our abiding place A Tabernacle to dwell in for ever and for ever not only to behold the glory of our Lord but the Lord himself of all our good and our glory 172. Ah Lord God that art the wisdom of the wise the strength of the strong the honour of the honourable the power of the powerful the might of the mighty the riches of the rich the goodness of those that are good the blessedness of the blessed the beauty of the beautiful the joy of those that rejoyce the light of those that see thy light the Crown and the glory of those that are in glory Thou only art and there is none besides thee our God even God blessed for ever and for ever 173. Ah Lord I know and am assured that it cannot be better with me than to be with thee 174. And to be with thee here on Earth whilst on Earth thou knowest O God that I esteem it to be my only Heaven 175. Let me thus have thee I say always have thee thus and thou knowest O Lord that knowest all things that I have all that I would have for thou only art all mine all 176. Ah that thou wouldst O God take all things from me that hinder thy blessed approach to me and that cause me to draw back from thee 177. Ah Lord thou knowest that there is nothing that I have but I most willingly offer thee and would cheerfully give thee to have thee 178. My life is not dear to me at all to spend for thee thou knowest O God my God that I account it a thing of nought If thou wilt have it O God take it for I confess it 's thine and not mine 179. Yea I trust that all mine is thine that I am thine all both Spirit Soul and Body and that thee O God and all thine is mine both thy Kingdom power and glory for ever and for ever 180. Ah blessed change to be thus changed into all blessedness even so as to have the Lord God for our everlasting Portion 181. Weary me O Lord God weary me more and more of my self that I may be dissolved and be with thee which is best of all 182. For out of thee O God my Heart is not satisfied neither can any thing but thy self satisfie it either that is in Heaven above or on the Earth below 183. What O Lord what shall I say unto thee thou knowest all things and of me and my Heart more than I can tell thee make me and it O God such as thou wilt have me to be that thou maiest ever own me for thy own 184. Ah Lord Let me be always on the wing after thee yea let me pursue hard after thee continually let me run and not grow weary and walk and not faint 185. O God that art my God heat I beseech thee my affections increase my desires build me up that I may be a living stone in thy house and ever speak loudly thy praises 186. Ah Lord God let me always have before me Heaven and Hell let me see Heaven as it is prepared for the Just and Hell as it is prepared for the unjust Heaven for those that ever eyed it and rejoyced in it and Hell for those that never feared it nor believed it but by their ungodly lives lived as if there had not been either a Heaven to recompence the Godly or a Hell to punish the ungodly 187. Ah Lord cause me always to eye those things that are invisible that eye never saw that ear never heard nor that ever entred at any time into the heart of any man to conceive even those endless everlasting joys that thou hast O God prepared in Jesus Christ and laid up for all those that love thee 188. Let me Ah let me always harken to hear that sweet and blessed voice of thy Holy Spirit within me saying of all the glory that is in glory these are all thine yea all that is mine is thine and thou art mine 189. Ah Lord let me never forget that all these earthly things must pass away us in a moment in the twinkling of an eye But that our Souls are immortal and shall live for ever and ever in endless unexpressible joys or endless everlasting unexpressible Torments 190. How low Ah how low are the conceptions of any brain yea the words of Men or Angels to express and shew forth the life to come either of the one or of the other of those beloved of God that shall ever live and abide in his Love which is in himself or for those that are so hated by him as shall for ever be cast out of his blessed presence and enjoy the cursed wretched company of the Devils and his Angels in burning and unquenchable flames where shall be yelling and roaring weeping and wailing curses and horrid blasphemies against that God and his goodness which they know is holy just and good and this as fuel shall feed that fire that cannot be quenched and give life to that gnawing worm an accusing condemning Conscience that shall never dye and thus those poor Souls must and shall live everlastingly 191. Ah Lord God give me Faith to believe and grace to repent that I come not into this place of torment but for ever enjoy those eternal and everlasting joys that thou hast from all Eternity prepared and wilt only give unto those for whom thou hast prepared it 192. Come Lord Jesus come quickly and fill me and feed me and satisfie me here with thy good things that I may ever live to enjoy them and thee 193. Thy appearances O great God are like thy self yea they are thy self but few I fear there are that thus see them and know them thus thy power thou shewest most in weakness in such as see confess and acknowledge themselves to be weak for thou makest the weak strong and causest many times the very meanest and simplest even those
beseech thee to perfect and accomplish that good work which thou hast begun in me for all my hope trust and confidence is in thee that thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me Ah Lord do not leave me to my self at any time for I shall undo in one moment all thy doings so great is my skill power strength mind and will to all evil against all good But O my God do thou continue to restrain my will and constrain it to thy will and to the faithfull and entire obedience of all thy Laws and divine Commandments Write thy Laws of grace in my heart and thy Statutes in my mind by the finger of thy holy Spirit and suffer me never through any temptation to depart from them but let them be a lanthorn to my feet and a light unto my paths to lead guide direct and govern me in the ways of righteousness and holiness that I may live the life of the righteous in the midst of this crooked froward and perverse generation Ah Lord suffer not the mountains of my sins nor the Rocks of unbelief to hinder thy mercies from descending into my Heart by thy holy Spirit nor my Prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith Let thy mercies draw me and thy judgements drive me that I may run and not grow weary that I may walk and not faint Be O Lord my God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ a savour of life unto life to my Soul and of death unto death to my sins and let thy holy and most blessed Spirit of grace that knoweth thy whole holy and sacred mind and will lead me teach me direct me and instruct me in all the things I shall take in hand to do and give me O Lord I beseech thee those things and those things only that may draw me nearer and nearer unto thy self to make me thine and only thine that I may be wholly thine holy thine always thine and ever thine that living here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour and after death be made partaker of Eternal Life through Jesus Christ my blessed and alone Saviour and Redeemer for whom I desire ever to bless thee as the Lord my Righteousness and to whom with thy glorious holy and sacred Majesty thy eternal and blessed Spirit of grace be given and ascribed by me and all thine as all due is Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving Now and for Evermore Amen HEre follow my spiritual Soul-solaces Dictates or Gleanings of God's Spirit set down in order and from time to time as it shall please the Lord in his goodness love and mercy to frame and fit my heart unto With a Journal of several passages as shall hereafter befall me by Providence whereby I may as in a heavenly Looking-glass see know taste feel and be certainly assured of God's loving and mercifull dealing towards me and of my daily approach and bringing nearer and nearer unto my â—long wished and desired home of Heaven through and by the merits of my dear Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ there to sing for ever and ever Hallelujahs of Praise Glory and Thanksgiving unto his most Holy Blessed Eternal and Glorious Name Let O Lord the Meditations of my heart the Words of my mouth and the Works of my hands be ever acceptable in thy sight who art my Strength and my Redeemer SPIRITUAL MEDITATIONS Being the Gifts and Dictates of GOD's SPIRIT OR The Hearts Frame and Language that desires to be made Spiritual and to live spiritually 1. O God my God who art all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually therefore of thee in Jesus Christ do I humbly ask all things 2. Give me thy self O God and I will confess that I have all those things I ask 3. For unless thou givest me thy self I esteem that I have nothing though thou keepest nothing else from me 4. I know that there is no perfect perfection here and therefore we cannot live without sin but O most gracious and most mercifull Father lay them not to my charge but bury them all past present and to come in the grave of my blessed Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ 5. I will ever seek thee O God whom my soul loveth desire thee only and lay hold and depend on thee alone 6. Let O God the things of the world be unto me as I was unto thee whilst I was in the world out of thee even as a menstruous cloth and filthy rags 7. Thy mercies O God are the hid Treasures which my heart seeketh and longeth to enjoy 8. Thy love O Christ is much sweeter to my taste than the hony-comb and I desire it much more than gold yea above all the worlds treasure good and glory 9. I am sure I shall be able to rejoyce in and under any yea all afflictions if thou dost not afflict me O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ with thy absence 10. He is in heaven though on earth that doth truly love thee and only love thee and heaven is in him because thy love is in him because thou lovest him thy love O God being the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven the best of Heaven 11. Do unto me O God what thou wilt and do but only tell me that thou wilt it 12. Were I in hell for thy sake that is absent from thee I could and would rejoyce â—or it is my Heaven to please thee my God who hast and dost so much delight me 13. Let me be but esteemed in thy eyes Oh my Jesus my sweet my dear and preâ—ious dear delight and I shall not value â—ut contemn all the ill looks of all others eyes 14. I had much rather be a Paul a Job or a Lazarus than a Solomon be ignominious all my days and honour my God always than be honourable all my days and dishonour my God but one day 15. Of all afflictions O God my God let not sin be my affliction afflict me not with sin for sin 16. A wounded heart a heart wounded with sin who can bear 17. What burthen so intolerably heavy as the burthen of one sin only if the Lord lift it not up with one of his fingers 18. I ask nothing in Heaven or Earth but God in Christ 19. God in Christ is all things for all things out of Christ are to me nothing he is my joy and my Salvation 20. I had much rather methinks be ever afflicted than never afflicted whilst on earth 21. Though by thy free grace O God thou hast in love and mercy brought me home unto thee yet thou hast used affliction as the means therefore do I love and k 〈…〉 the Rod because thou hast appointed it 22. I love affliction because it was the hand by which thou did'st O God leaâ— me out of affliction that is out of sin 23. I love affliction because by it thou hast taught me to love thee yea so to love thee as I love
that I have all that I have Ah give this mercy also to be as willing to it thee back when thou wilt have it was willing to receive it when thou g 〈…〉 it 35. When man speaks to man it take no effect but when God speaks to whatever he speaks it shall take effeâ—â— 36. Let O Lord thy speaking to and in me be effectual for the be and not for the worse of my Soul savour of life unto life and not of dâ— death of life to my Soul and of death â—y sins â—7 I had rather hear and learn one thing the wisdome of God than a thouâ— thousand from the wisdome of men â—8 Let all thy truths in me O God be firmed to me by the powerful wisdome working of thy holy Spirit â—9 God's voyce brings me always joy comforts my sad heart but man's voice seth me alwaies grief and saddens my â—ul heart â—0 I had rather be ever alone with God â— want all other things than be one day â—out him to have and gain and keep other things besides him â—1 For when God is in me then am I in â—ven but when God is not in me then I in Hell for thy presence to me Lord â—o me Heaven upon earth and thy ab 〈…〉 ce O Lord Hell upon earth 42. It is thy self O Lord thy blessed that I desire and not the desires of other desires 43. When I have thee Lord I have all desires and yet when I have thee not â—o not because I cannot desire thee 44. So impotent am I as not able to â—l or desire my own good so poor a â—etch as not of my self â—o wish my self rich so much a slave as to be content yea willing and delight to ever to be a slave yea the worst of slaves even to my own sinful lusts although I know they will if lived in drown me for ever in the pit of Eternal destruction from which good Lord ever deliver me as thou hast delivered me keep me out as thou hast hitherto kept me out and preserve me to my lives end as thou hast preserved me from the beginning that I may ever live to thee for thee and to praise thee ever and for ever 45. Thou hast in mercy O God my God brought thy self thy ever sweet blessed gracious and most glorious self to me ah bring my self in love and obedience home unto thee 46. My words Ah my words I know well are but words and the breathings of a sinfull man but thy words O my Lord I well know also that they are the breathings of a holy God 47. Grant O God my God that all my words may breath out sorrow for sin and thy words breath in me the assurance of the pardon of sin 48. For whose sins O Lord thou forgivest thou also forgettest whom thou pardonest thou wilt save for where thou lovest thou livest and wilt I am sure ever live there in love 49. To be taught by thee O God of wisdom is to be well taught make me O Lord make me I beseech thee as willing to learn of thee as thou art willing to teach me 50. And give me grace O God to retain what I shall learn of thee that I may forget what I have learnt of my self and the world 51. If Earth's sweets are so sweet to earthly minds as they prefer it to the sweet of Heaven Ah how sweet are Heavens sweets to Heavenly minds and how do they prefer it to all the sweets on earth 52. How much sweeter O my God is the honey of thy word to the tast of my inward man than the Hony-comb of the world to the tast of my outward man 53. I had much rather say nothing then my own works do nothing then my own words and have nothing then all my own desires 54. Ah Lord God give me grace to live in Heaven whilst on earth by doing thy will on Earth as it is done in Heaven 55. They are not the words of the mouth but of the heart that are agreeable and well pleasing to thy heart O my God the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts 56. He that hath his heart right all things that he doth and doth not are right dear and precious in thy sight and according to thy heart O God the giver and maker of all hearts 57. When I sleep O God thou art still by me And when I wake I am still with thee So that whether I sleep or whether I wake I am sure O Lord thou dost me never forsake 58. To believe in God is to know God to know him is to love him to love him is to fear him and to fear him is to serve him and to serve him is to obey him and to obey him is to do his will and to do his will is to give up our wills to his will and to give up our wills to his will is to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills and to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills is to have a heart according to his own heart 59. It is not what I do or can do but what I would do that best pleaseth thee my God who giveth both to will and to do 60. O Lord let not what or any thing of that I do please me until I am sure that it please thee 61. O Lord suffer me not to seek my own delight but let my delight be to delight thee who art the delight of my soul and in whom only my soul delighteth 62. If thy back parts O Lord do so much rejoyce my heart here on earth how shall thy face cause me to rejoyce in Heaven where I shall see thee face to face and know thee as thou art to be known 63. And seeing it is my only grief on earth that I have offended thee my God by sin it shall be my only joy in Heaven to praise thee for that thou art not offended with me for my sins 64. Give me O my God for Christ his sake thy Kingdom and thy Glory that I may give thee honour and glory for ever in thy Kingdom of glory 65. And till that day shall be give me grace O my sweet and saving Jesus so to watch and to wait that when thy Kingdom shall come I may rejoyce and say thy will O Lord be done and so enter into the joy of my Lord even into the Lord of my joy 66. To do thy will O God is all the thoughts and desires of my heart and will and in doing thy will is all the joys delights and ravishments of my willing heart thus made willing through thine own good will 67. I know well that it 's thou in me my dear and sweet Jesus that causeth my desires to desire thee and the heart of my soul to hunger and thirst for thee and also that giveth me boldness to speak unto thee 68. O Lord I desire nothing but what thou wilt and all that thou
earth O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 108. Give me then thy self my sweet Jesus that I may please thy self for without thee I shall be still my self and displeasing still to thee 109. For I am all evil and thou O God art all good I am all Hell and thou art all Heaven Ah thou my God that can'st do all things turn my evil unto good that my Hell may be brought into thy Heaven 110. Joy in fear and by reason of fear for every man hath a double fear till he have perfect love that casteth out all fear 111. Fear causeth me to doubt and fear causeth me to believe fear bringeth me grief and fear bringeth me joy fear casteth me down to Hell and fear raiseth me up to Heaven fear causeth me to distrust and fear causeth me to trust fear affrights me with sadness and fear comforts me with rejoycings for if I did not fear I might justly be afraid if I did not fear the want of grace I might justly fear I had no grace if I did not fear falllng I fear I should fall indeed But though through fear I am many times afraid yet I would not be without fear though I should be always afraid for fear causeth me to put away fear and not to fear fear nor to be afraid of fear through fear I trust I believe I rejoyce and I hope I shall be for ever brought out and freed from all fear 112. Happy is the man that feareth always Prov. 28. 14. 113. Ah Lord my God that art most faithfull and most true make me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ truly faithfull all my life that I may be faithfull even unto the death and then for ever to enjoy thy gracious promise of that Crown of life 114. Make me faithfully obedient unto thee in all things O Lord all my life that at death I may receive thy faithfull promise of that Crown of glory and life that I may ever live to glorifie thee O Lord of all glory by an Eternal and Everlasting life 115. Any thing of all that man can do as man God will not accept but all things that God doth man should accept and likewise know and believe that he doth all things and therefore ought accept all things 116. Man's best all all mans best is worse then all but Gods least all the least of God is above all and more worth then all 117. When I have thee my God I have all yea all that I would have But Ah when I want thee when I have thee not when thou art absent and seemest to be departed or but estranged from me I want all am without all and possess nothing even nothing at all though I have even all other possessions 118. Let my all O Lord be all in thee That thou may'st be all unto me 119. I am much more offended that I have offended my God then I am afraid that my God is offended with me 120. I much more fear my sins to come then my sins past because my fear for my sins past is already past but my fear is always present for my sins to come yea it is my only fear and that which affrights me only 121. When I consider and ponder on the much joy that I enjoy to the little I deserve to enjoy and yet that this much is little to that which I hope and believe I shall enjoy Ah how my heart is filled and ravished with unspeakable joy 122. All glory be given to thee O God the God and giver of all gifts of all grace and of all glory Amen Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1656. O Lord God I most humbly and most heartily beg and beseech thee be thou graciously pleased in love and in mercy in and through Jesus Christ to be with me thy poor and unworthy Servant here in this place where thou hast by thy Providence brought me at all times as thou hast been with me in all other places at other times that thy power and thy might may be seen in me and thy holy and blessed spirit leading guiding governing and directing me in all things that I shall take in hand to do that I may by grace walk upprightly in the midst of this crookâ—d froward and perverse generation and that they seeing my good works that is thou O God working in me they may glorifie thy great and holy name O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Ah Lord suffer me not here following to write my own words but thine not seek my self with selfish love but thy self with true sincere unfeigned love to thy self not mine honour but thine honour not my praise but thy praise not my glory but thy glory my souls salvation and the good benefit and advantage of others and all I beg and what else thou knowest to be needfull for me for Jesus Christ my blessed only alone Saviour and Mediator and and Redeemers sake Amen A Prayer O All holy Almighty Infinite and Incomprehensible wise glorious gracious good mercifull patient sweet lovely loving and most blessed and ever blessed Lord God thou art not only holy but holiness it self not only wise but wisdom it self not only good but goodness it self not only mercifull but mercy it self not only patient but patience it self not only sweet but sweetness it self not only love and loving but love it self not only strong but strength it self not only powerfull but all power it self not only great but greatness it self not only mighty but Almighty and might it self not only blessed but blessedness all blessedness it self not only happy but possessing all happiness making all happy that are happy being happiness it self all good O God is in thee and comes forth from thee thou containest all things being all things all things being in thee but art contained by none thou art what thou wilt be and therefore willest what thou wilt it is thy honour and thy glory that thou art what thou art all thy doings are wonderfull and like thy self holy just and true thou art all things do'st all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually never repenting repining nor upbraiding glorious thou art in holiness fearfull thou art in praises doing wonders all thy works do praise thee Ah let me thy unworthy unnatural disobedient sinful and wretched Creature in my self out of thee do the same every moment and all the moments of my life by all my thoughts words and actions both at home and abroad that thy power O God and thy might even thine Almighty power may be always seen in me and shew forth to thy glory that thou abidest and dwellest in me so that all that shall behold me may love thee and long for thee running after thee to obtain thee and so by enjoying thee may likewise praise thee O God I know that thou do'st all that thou wilt and willest all that thou dost thou art as willing as able and
love O Lord of thy Children and Servants unto thee when they know that they are beloved by thee whom they most love and must love most for thy Love thy Love being most worth worth most and therefore do they despise all Love and things lovely in the Creature to purchase thy Love O God who art the Creator of all Love and things lovely they love thy Love most O God because they know and feel that thy Love only causeth them to love thee more whom notwithstanding they do already love most and for that nothing but thy Love can satisfie them with sufficient love to love thee sufficiently for to love thee is to live and they could not live if it were not for thy Love and therefore are they ready and willing always to dye for thy Love and to witness and shew forth their love with which they love thee 38. If then the love of the Creature be so great for the Creator that it is more above and beyond any love in the Creature for the Creature yea it is so great as it cannot be uttered it being and proceeding from the Creator's own Love that the Creature hath this love and that he loveth thus his Creator 36. But Ah then how incomprehensible and great is the love of the Creator for and unto us his Creatures in that he giveth us so much of his love as to love him and such condescension is in him as he delighteth to be beloved by them who out of his love do so much hate him and love only what he hateth alas alas what can we poor we say of him whom we know not but by himself and from himself and love not but from his love Let us then Ah let us then admire and in humility ever adore this his love with which he hath so loved us as to make us like himself in love which is to be all love loving others as our selves for even as his love only causeth him to love us so likewise doth this his love in us cause us thus to love him and thus to love one another with the same loving love and all that we may be all one and the same in love in him to him and for him who is the love of our love the cause of our loves love the subject of our love the object of our love which we only desire to love and the joy of this our joyous love and the aim of our end and the end of our aim is to live and love unto the end in this loving love that is that our love may never know end as his never knew no beginning nor never shall know end and this is and such is the great love of our God yea the incomprehensible love with which he loveth us being such and so great as we cannot comprehend its greatness it cannot enter into us therefore we shall enter into it neither can we sufficiently express ours for him which flows only from his from himself who is only and alone in himself perfect love and he alone can only create and give perfect love to love perfectly none but himself from himself of himself can then thus love perfectly or give perfect love to love perfectly thus 40. It is then thy love in me O Lord my God that causeth me to love thee 41. Inflame then my cold benumm'd icy frozen heart with the fiery hot burning flames of this thy burning hot love O my God that my heart may continually as Moses's bush and the Seraphims still flamingly burn but never consume for it is by this and from this divine fire that cometh from thy holy Altar O Lord that my soul liveth and out of it it cannot 42. Let me then O Lord ever burn That I may ever live for why Ah if I should not still burn thus I am sure I should eft soon dye 43. Ah Lord my God and my Father in Jesus Christ I desire to praise thee ever for that thou hast not only forgiven me all but given me all thou hast not only given me a pardon for all my Iniquities and Transgressions and forgiven all my sins but hast also forgotten that ever I sinned 44. Thou hast not only given me such a pardon as never to remember my sins any more but with the pardon thou hast O Lord given me thy love and thy self so as I shall ever live in thy self to love thy self ever and to offend thee never 45. Thy love O my God and heavenly Father is far greater unto me than David's was for his beloved Son Absolom though he loved him better than his life and willingly would have died for him yet when he forgave him his murder he would not have him to see his face in Jerusalem But thy pardon O King of Kings is with such abundance of love that thou hast been pleased in love to come down thy self from thy Throne and thy dwelling place in thy heavenly Jerusalem unto me on this earthly Geshur to shew me thy most amiable most glorious and most blessed face and to cause the light of thy Countenance to shine upon me that I might not be afflicted because thou knowest right well that it were much better for me that thou shouldest take my life from me than hide thy face from me for what were or would be my life unto me if I did not O my Father see thy face in Jesus Christ yea thou knowest that my life is nothing unto me if I see not always thy face for thy presence is my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell 46. Ah what love is this O my God! wherewith thou hast and dost love me to pardon such a rebellious murderer as I am not for slaying an incestuous Amnon but an innocent Jesus the Son of thy love thine eldest only Son in whom thy Soul delighted only 47. Thy Love O God my God is such that thou hast not banisht me but brought me back and though I did flye from thee yet thou thy self didst in love run after me and broughtest me back yea such is thy love that thou hast not unthroned me but inthroned me and made me not only an heir but coheir with thy Natural only Son and my Saviour not only of a Crown and Kingdom honourable and glorious but of a Kingdom and Crown of honour and glory and not for a mortal life of time but for an immortal life out of time for ever and for ever 48. Ah Lord God how didst thou love me when thou didst deliver me take me off and free me from my own love from loving my self with self-love that is loving my self more than thee and wert pâ—eased in love and out of the abundance of thy love which is incomprehensible and unconceivable to cause me to choose thy love to prize thy love to desire thy love and to rejoyce in thy love esteeming nothing else lovely or desirable 49. They that love as they ought to love that is True love in loving
and rich and honourable though otherwise he be poor and vile and contemptible in the eyes and esteem of men his very heart and soul cleaves unto these as the heart of Jonathan did unto David for 189. He that hath this spirit of God dwelling in him dwelleth in love and God the God of love in him he loves the souls of all men as his own soul whether they be relations or strangers he prays for them in secret and exhorts them in publick yea he weeps bitterly for all such as are not yet brought home to Christ but especially for such as he seeth are dead in their sins as have eyes but see not ears but hear not feet but walk not hands but handle not mouths but tast not for all such as walk after the flesh and do the works of the flesh for with his will he would that none did go to Hell and that the Kingdom of Satan were not so populous and that he had not so many faithful Servants which are so faithless to Jesus Christ and to their own poor souls he would that all would believe and receive Christ that they might be all saved because he knoweth that many are interessed in every souls Salvation both in Heaven and on Earth 190. This spirit opens Heavens Gates and leads the soul into the Inner Courts and carries him up into the Brides Chamber and feasts him in his Banquettjng house and fills and solaces his heart not with the delicacies of Egypt nor with the Milk and Hony of Canaan but with those sweet rich delitious and pretious most pretious delicacies that are in that Heavenly Jerusalem the City of the living God where the spirit of all just men are made perfect they are fed continually with that rich dish of assurance and have the fore-tasts of those Eternal joys which is that blessed rest prepared for the people of God 191. And thus this spirit causeth those in whom it dwelleth to rejoyce evermore and again I say to rejoyce for can any man in whom this Spirit dwelleth who is the Sanctifier and the Comforter and sent us from Heaven by our blessed Saviour be afflicted can any mourn whilst the Bridegroom is with them Ah no surely no for he comes with healing in his wings he bringeth Ah he bringeth the glad tydings of peace and salvation to all Souls where it cometh to abide and thus are all the Sons of God led by his Spirit comforted by his Spirit ravisht with his Spirit taught by his Spirit feasted by his Spirit brought home unto him by his Spirit and made one with him by his Spirit for we have all access unto the Father through the same Spirit let this then teach us all that are acquainted with the work of this Spirit not to quench its motions not to afflict or grieve this holy Spirit of Blessedness but be always ready and willing to receive him and entertain him for if we delight in him and to abide with him he will delight in us and delight to abide in us for he will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoking flax but wheresoever there is the true sincere and unfeigned desires of grace he will give grace according to these desires for he will never leave us comfortless but will come unto us and where he hath begun his work he will as assuredly finish it he will never leave nor forsake us if we do not leave nor forsake him but will make our weak and imperfect grace strong and perfect glory for he knoweth all our desires and the thoughts and imaginations of our hearts are not hid from him but are always open and naked before him and he delighted most to feed us when we are most thirsty and to cloath us most richly when we are naked and to give us the greatest treasure when we are poorest and to visit us when we are most sick for his absence and to comfort us when we are most disconsolated and afflicted and when we cast our selves down then doth he delight to raise us up to the highest and when we think our selves worst then doth he esteem us at the best and after our mourning causeth us to rejoyce and wipes away all tears from our eyes 192. Thus is this Spirit unto us all things who bringeth us much more joy than we are able to ask than we are able to think it convinceth our hearts of Sin of Righteousness and of Judgment 193. This Spirit giveth wisdome to the simple and teacheth the ignorant knowledg and causeth him to understand so as Babes and Sucklings shew forth his mighty praises for he revealeth unto them what he hideth from the wise and mighty men of the earth and maketh appear plain that their wisdom is but meer foolishness their strength weakness and their honours but as a leaf which the wind driveth to and fro as he was made of nothing so in a moment he turns to nothing their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish he is as the grass of the earth and as the flower of the field which to day is and to morrow is not he is so perishable as he can be compared to nothing but to nothing 194. This Spirit sheweth us that those things which we see not and cannot see be unto us as if they were and those things which we see are as if they were not because we value them not but as Pilgrims and strangers we seek a Country an habitation not made with hands Eternal in the Heavens 195. This Spirit openeth unto our sence reason and understanding that which no man can shut and shutteth that which no man can open this Spirit declareth unto us what the mind and will of God is for our good and worketh in us a holy conformity in all our minds wills and affections to be carefully studious and studiously careful to walk in all well pleasing before him it maketh us to press forward to comprehend that for which we are also comprehended of Christ Jesus our Lord it worketh in us a fear that increaseth our love and such love as casteth out all fear it maketh us to do all that we do for him and not for our selves loving him much more for himself than for our own selves and more for his glory than for our own glory if such long to be with him it is to do him more and better service for here we can know but in part and do but in part but there we shall know him as he is to be known and do for him all things which were fore-ordained and appointed by him before that we were and that is to possess him wholly and holy as he is that is as much as is possible for us Creatures 196. This Spirit warmeth our hearts so with his divine Love and maketh us partakers of his divine nature that daily we grow more and more conformable and like unto him and to comprehend and know
more and more what is the length the breadth the height of the depth of his love to his Children and Servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor express and it so filleth their hearts with such joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that Heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in Heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegroom arrayeth us with even his own Righteousness and true holiness this filleth our lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voice Come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his Sons and Daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that please him please them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to bless and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come to Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is always open for sin and for uncleanness this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the loss of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousness wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully chearfully and patiently all that is commanded them always saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with David My heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptible as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my Soul desireth to have on earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor Souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Halleluiahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberless number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who would not have his Kingdom increase and Satans decrease who would not fight for Christ against all his Enemies and adversaries knowing that they are already conquered and made his foot-stool who would not labour to undeceive poor silly Souls that go on so fast and run so swift in the ways of Eternal destruction and whose feet make hast to death and who drink up iniquity as it were water and rush into all evil as the horse rusheth into the battle and that rise early and go to bed late that they may yet sin the more and notwithstanding they commit not half the evil that they would they are thus ensnared to their own hurt Ah who would not labour to free such poor creatures as are slaves and drudges and serve such a Master as gives such wages as is Hell death and destruction eternally both for body and soul Ah who is not an Orator fit enough to set forth the ugliness and filthiness of sin which thus defileth the heart in which God so much delighteth and desireth to dwell and which depraves them of his most blessed and most glorious Image and makes them the Image of the Devil instead of being a member of Christ it makes them a member of Satan instead of being a Child of God and an Heir of Heaven yea Co-heir with Jesus Christ it makes them a Child of Wrath an Heir of Hell and Co-heir with the Devil and his Angels of Gods eternal and unplacable wrath and vengeance which shall ever burn them but never consume them for God himself will laugh at their great calamity and mock when their fear cometh Ah who would not rejoyce to do such a work as to hinder poor Souls from having such a portion as this and bring them home to Jesus Christ who is the great Doctor who will give them this his Holy Spirit to teach them lead them direct them and instruct them in those things which belong to their eternal peace and Salvation which is in all truth and holiness 198. Thus are all those in whom this Spirit of God dwelleth made partakers of his own holy and divine nature to love the
he that hath him not is heir of nothing but what is worth nothing and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing and therefore all that he is sure of is surely nothing but a very nothing 219. For what man hath to day to morrow flies away 220. Ah Lord my Lord give me I most humbly beseech thee that which will endure for ever and not that which perisheth ever 221. That O Lord that which cannot be destroyed and not that O Lord not that which will destroy me unless it be destroyed by thee 222. Give me first O Lord give me first a heart according to thine own heart and then I am sure I shall use the World not as I would but as thou wilt 223. Were I as certain to go to Hell which God forbid as I am certain through the merits of Jesus Christ to go to Heaven I would whil'st I should be on earth walk in the ways to Heaven and never go out of them till God had cast me into Hell 224. O Lord that knowest all things thou knowest O Lord God thou knowest how I love thy Laws and how I delight to walk in thy ways and to keep thy Commandments with my whole heart faithfully thou knowest O Lord is all the delight and joy of my heart yea my hearts only joy and delight 225. Blessed be God though I have many years tasted fed on and lived in the pleasures of sin and but few years in the sweet delights and pleasures of grace yet I am well content and willing to lose to cast off and utterly and for ever to forsake all sins sweets for graces bitter all sins robes for graces raggs and all sins pleasures and honours for Christs dishonour for I am now henceforth resolved to be Christs Servant ever and sins never Ah never never 226. Blessings are in the Prov. 30. 6. Add thou not unto his words lest he reprove thee and thou be found a lyar mouth and they proceed from the heart of him that feareth the Lord. 227. But curses come from him that knoweth him not 228. He that is wise in his own conceit is a Fool. 229. The Righteous man blesseth and is never weary of so doing but the wicked curseth and is always empty as Hell 230. Shame shall fall on him that wisheth mischief to his Neighbour without a cause 231. But glory and honour shall be the portion of him that loveth him 232. If thine Enemy sin rebuke him but let not thy countenance go along with him 233. He that feareth the Lord no evil shall befall him for he is kept safe 234. Wisdome glory and honour is the portion of him that waiteth at his Gates 235. Behold him that loveth the Lord and thou shalt see all his works to prosper 236. Regard not the evil of affliction on him that submitteth himself thereunto for it shall prove the joy of his heart 237. Gladness is always iâ— the heart of him that loveth Righteousness because he feareth always 238. As hony is to the tast so is holiness to him that loveth Righteousness 239. Dwell in peace and Gods love shall abide with thee 240. Be watchful over all thy ways so shall all thy doings prosper 241. Glad the heart of the Mourner and thou shalt anoynt him with sweet Oyl 242. Rejoyce thou in the day of affliction and let thy heart be merry for the Lord hath heard thy vows 243. Give thy self up to learn his Wisdome and refuse not his teachings when they come upon thee 244. Bind them upon thy shoulders lean upon them with thy whole might and they shall support thee 245. Grieve not the spirit of thy God who delighteth in thee 246. Give thy heart to know him so shalt thou be filled with his praises 247. Learn his ways and go not out of his paths for he delighteth to delight thee 248. Ah love him with thy whole heart and mind that all thy days may be the days of joy and gladness 249. Where ever the Lord is there is bountifulness and peace that passeth all understanding 250. Lean upon him and he shall support thee give up all thine all that is thy care unto him and he shall provide for thee things that shall never fail 251. He that hath him hath life and shall never see death 252. Wilt thou be merry give him thine heart let him direct it and follow him wheresoever he leadeth thee 253. His ways are ways of pleasure and his paths bring home to live with himself 254. Joy is in his Gates and no mourners come nigh him 255. He filleth the empty he watereth the dry and thirsty ground there is no want where he reigneth 256. Rejoyce then in the day of thy trouble and let thy heart be merry for he heareth all thy groanings and will compassionate thy bewailings 257. Let him alone strive not for all thy doings without him are as the puff of a wind which is not seen 258. He that submitteth to his ways shall find his doings advantagious for he knoweth of what we are made and all things that come from him bring joy where he is the giver 259. His mercies are as the Sun they dispel the Clouds of afflictions and warm the heart with the fire of love 260. He can do what he listeth there is none can hold his strong arm but all must bend when he commands 261. Trust then in the Lord who is thy strength and in the holy one of Israel who hath given himself to thee and for thee he will provide for thee he will satisfie all the desires of thy soul and cause thy heart mightily to rejoyce in his goodness and to triumph in all and over all things that come upon thee for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it and he will do it according to the former promises of his holy Spirit made unto thee in the day of thy straights and wants 262. Praise thou the Lord for great is his goodness towards thee and his loving kindness hath no end 263. This is thy Portion from the Almighty Amen Amen 264. Praise his holy name live for ever in his love dwell in peace 265. O Lord I know that thou hearest not my Prayers for their worthiness but they are worthy because thou hearest them 266. I am not worthy for any worthiness that is in me but for thy worthiness O my Jesus and my good God that flows from thy exceeding bounty into me 267. I know that thou dost not love me O Lord for any loveliness that is in me or because I love thee but I love thee O my Lord who art my God because thou knowest me 268. And because that thou dost love me now I know that thou did'st love me ever and therefore wilt love me ever even unto the end and yet I know well that there is nor shall be no end of thy love it is endless for ever and for ever 269. Thy love O Lord I know is like thy self nay thy
how willing to unmind it altogether and to forget it for ever even for ever and for ever how sweetly Ah how sweetly doth it pass the time away when all its faculties are imployed and feasted in the contemplation of God his love goodness greatness mercy truth wisdom and Eternity how willingly Ah how willingly doth it shake off put away divorce and separate it self from all things of these things here below and doth the soul of the heart rejoyce when it is not molested with perturbations it doth at such a time as this forget these low things even all these high things here below as if he had never thought on them as if they were not nor had never been 133. Ah how is the heart at rest and quiet how calm how peaceable how joyful I know not how it is to set it forth as then it is when it is with God in God me thinks I know not where it is nor what it doth enjoy such is its blessed and blest condition as I know not nor am not able to set down what condition it is nor how blessed it is so blessed I know not what to call it nor how to set it forth in that loveliness in that blessedness that then it is blessed with if it then see any Object out of God besides God it sees it not if it hear any voyce or words it hears it not if it speaks yet as it were it speaks not if it walk it seems to its self as if it walk not as if it moved not if it stands still it seems not to know it for even all its sences and faculties are so much taken up and imployed as it well knows not or as it were cannot express about what it is imployed at least how it is imployed nor what it doth enjoy such and so great are its joys 134. And when Ah when it must leave this sweet study this Heavenly work this blessed imployment this profitable traffick this honourable business this glorious company these great joyes these pleasant pleasures and soul-satisfying satisfactions and converse again with the men of the world how Ah how irksome displeasant uncouth troublesome yea noysome and burdensome is every other thing every other word every other business every other matter or concernment of what concernment soever it be never Ah never any loss seemed to him so great never any man to his esteem and seeming fell from such a high condition to such a low condition how willingly Ah how willingly would he have his body in any Condition so that his mind were always imployed in minding this blessed and Heavenly most Heavenly and most blessed Condition Ah what words what thoughts what desires Ah what gaspings gapings longings hungrings and thirstings at sometimes and then presently Ah presently how is he filled and satisfied and yet knows not as it were with what nor how and this he calls a new birth and a new birth indeed it is for he is then all new and made another man within and without for he is in some measure as it were like God holy as he is holy and pure as he is pure for in sincerity he desires and aimes at holiness and purity even at pure holiness and to be without spot and wrinkle unblameable his life is as it were even hid with Christ in God Christ is his life all his life is to live in him with him for him and unto him it s the end of his aim and the aim of all his end to be his only his none but his always his that he may be ever his even and for ever to live that life and dye that death as may bring him most glory as may glorifie him most In Bourdeaux Anno 1658. 1. WE may enjoy the world and all the things of the world but we must not Ah we must not joy in them so as to make them our joy use them we may but abuse them in the use of them not we may not we may possess them but must not Ah we must not suffer them to possess us esteem them good we may but our least good we must not Ah not our best good not our chief supream soveraign and only good for that is God only only God who is all good and all good only in Heaven nor earth there is none besides him 2. Seeking as well as finding knocking as well as opening asking as well as giving is Gods free gift for he freely giveth all things unto all that ask aright by faith in Jesus Christ and no good thing will he with-hold from those that love him that love his fear and fear his love 3. What is Hell but thy absence O Lord the absence of thy love and our living in and continuing in sin 4. And what O Lord and what is Heaven but thy love and thy presence O God the continual and everlasting enjoying of thy ever blessed and loving presence and our liberty and freedom from sin to sin no more but to praise thee ever and for ever and thee only O God and thee only adore 5. Grant me O Lord God this one thing this one thing only to enjoy thee and that I may always make thee my only joy and to sin no more willingly with my will either in thought word or deed but to live the life of the righteous to and for thine honour praise and glory 6. Whose sins the Lord forgives he forgets whom he hath pardoned he will save where he loves he lives and will ever live there in love those that are beloved shall be ever his beloved for he hath loved them ever and will love them ever 7. The fire of Gods Love are the fiery flames in which all his children desire to live for out of them they cannot live life is to them death yea much worse than any death and any death they would willingly Ah most willingly choose to live this life 8. Our fitting here for Heaven by sanctification which is holiness is an evident sure and certain token and sign that Heaven is fitted and prepared for us for as without holiness no man shall see God so being made holy he shall be sure to see God that is to possess him who is Heaven eternal life and happiness where holiness is there God is he dwelleth and maketh his continual abode where holiness abideth and dwelleth 9. O God my God from whom every good and perfect gift doth come give O give I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ unto me a holy heart according to thine own heart that it may be thine and that thou mayest delight in it to make it thy delight and be pleased to live in it here until thou shalt bring me to live with thee and in thee and to thee and for thee for ever and ever 10. What a stinking Carrion is man Ah what a most deformable thing is man when God is not with him nor in him so much an Enemy he is to himself
yea though a man could know more than Adam or Solomon knew though he could know all things that are and that perfectly too that are out of God and besides God what Ah what were all this learning knowledge or wisdom but folly meer foolishness in comparison of the knowledge of the Spirit Spiritual knowledge to know in Spirit and in Truth Jesus Christ and him crucified to be our Christ and our Jesus Paul accounted all other wisdom folly to this and so blessed be our God do I he desired to know no other thing but only this one thing no more do I Let all other knowledge in me perish so this augment and continue I shall not I am sure grieve be sad repine nor sorrowful for its loss come when it will come and Ah that it were come if God so would 85. Thy Love O God O God thy Love thy Love is the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven there can be nothing more lovely or desirable either there or here Let me O Lord I beseech thee never leave sighing after it longing for it nor desiring to enjoy it untill I do enjoy it with thy self in thy self by possessing thy blessed most blessed self O sweet Jesus who art all blessings and all blessedness 86. One look of Love from Christ will make a man willingly and cheerfullly to cast aside to cast away all things that hinder his loving of him though never so lovely or lawful near or dear unto him for his Love will constrain only to love him again 87. But how then Ah how then doth and will that Soul love him that seeth and knoweth always that he is beloved by him he is fed with his Love yea continually feasted with his Love he is cloathed with his Love all his garments are Love his treasure is his Love his honour is his Love and his Love is all his pleasure and his delight he sees his Love in all things that he sees that he enjoys he is continually with him and this his sweet amiable and blessed presence of Love his most loving presence he cannot be without when he hath him not thus nigh him he seems to want all things and when he hath him thus he hath all things and wants nothing 88. Such a Soul rowleth dependeth and always rejoyceth his heart is only made glad by his delightful approaches and indwellings so as he esteemeth no life like to this life of living in him to him and sor him and when Ah when all other Subjects and Objects how loving or lawful soever at other times are outed of his mind memory heart and affections how glad is he how doth he rejoyce and leap and skip and sing for joy that he is with him alone that he enjoyeth him only that nothing hinders nor molests their sweet Intercourse their sweet Imbraces their mutual Delight Joy and Love 89. Love cannot endure to be molested when it hath what it would have there is none so rich so happy so honourable as he that is thus loved by God and lives always in his love and is by him from his love made to walk worthy of his love for such is Gods love that he accepteth the willing will that is in us for the working deed when that it is upright true real and sincere 90. On Christ the King of love the soveraign tye and chain of love thy love is so lovely so shining so transpiercing so bright so burning so conquering so consuming that all other loves are consum'd at the very approach of thy love at thy coming they fly away they are not heeded minded remembred nor thought on any more nay to forget them all what ever they be bringeth joy even such joy as is unspeakable for then the soul and body and all the faculties and members thereof are filled with thee and thy joys which are such as no tongue can tell nor no heart conceive thou dost so much excel O Lord thou dost so much excel as thus to enjoy thee Oh thou our Soveraign best and superiour good the soul answereth Ah let it thus be ever with me let me be thus ever with thee O Christ with thee with thee let me Ah let me never go from thee be absent from thee for there is nothing in Heaven that I desire like unto thee or in all the Earth in comparison of thee make me but as one of thy hired Servants that I may always hear thee see thee and abide in thy blessed most blessed presence for in thy presence is always all joy unspeakable joy yea fulness of all joy that is unspeakable and from thy right hand flow continually all pleasures for evermore 91. Thus is the soul wrapt up in Christ that enjoys him he asks he seeks esteems prises nor desires no other joys no other Heaven no other happiness no other blessedness than thus always to enjoy him he is at rest at ease he hath all that he would have that he can ask or crave yea much above all that ever he did ask or think so much is Christ above all things and more than all things to them and to all them in whom he liveth in love and loveth to live and the soul breatheth out for more of his love that it may love him more and more 92. Look O man into this Glass and thou shalt plainly A spiritual soul Looking-glass or a glass to see the soul whether it be Spiritual or Carnal see thy inner man the heart of thy soul or the soul of thy heart whether it be or not a heart according to Gods heart or a heart according to thine own heart and the Devils thou shalt plainly see whether thou art Carnal or Spiritual dead in sin or alive by grace a faithful Servant of Jesus Christ or a slave to thine own vile base lusts and affections of sin and Satan whether thou art a Member of Christs Mystical body betrothed unto him by grace or still a Member of Satans vile body made one with him by sin whether or no thou hast the divine nature in thee or still remainest in thine own fleshly sinful wretched nature and this thou mayest easily see and know by examining of thine affections what thou lovest most prizest choosest delightest in thinkest on and esteemest most what is most the end of thy aim and the aim of thy end after what thou most runnest pantest breathest gapest hungrest and thirstest after what is most in thy thoughts yea what thou makest thy thoughts most what are thy inward longings if thou choosest all his ways freely and universally the hard and rough to the flesh as well as the easie pleasant and deligthful and that with pleasure and delight and rejoycest to walk in them and to make them and to make them thy delight if his yoke be to thee easie and his burthen light if it be thy meat and drink to do all his whole and holy will on earth as it is done in Heaven if it be the Heaven that
the children of God rather than commit the pleasures of sin for a season rather than in the least displease thy Christ thy Jesus thy God thy good thy Saviour and thy Redeemer for a moment much rather by much suffer the afflictions due to sin than sin and suffer no affliction for surely a Saints greatest affliction is sin sin is the very worst of Hell to him that makes God his best Heaven the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 98. Dost thou feel thy heart heartily to long for the knowledge of God and all his ways to love fear serve honour and obey him And dost thou find that all that thou dost is nothing to what thou would'st and desirest and longest to do Thy very best is too too bad thy most holy things are too too unholy and all thine all even nothing at all thou art altogether ashamed of thy self that thou art what thou art and abhorrest thy self in dust and ashes accounting thy self as thou art in thy self the vilest of Creatures the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men 99. And this causeth in thee sorrow shame grief and astonishment wondring that such a God should love such a man such a worm such a wretch such a miscreant such a dog such a sinnner yea such a devil as thou art in thy self Dost thou thus condemn thy self loath and abhor thy self and art thus truly angry with thy self and ashamed of thy self and of all thy doings and marvellest how thou canst find acceptance at such a glorious Throne of grace and gracious Throne of Glory and that God hath had so long patience and that he did not cut thee off long ago and give thee thy portion with thy brethren in Iniquity Whoremongers Drunkards Prophaners of the Sabbath with the Covetous Proud Boasters Malicious Raylers False accusers c. even with the devil and his angels and that thou dost esteem it a Heaven that thou art not now in Hell giving continual Glory to God in Christ that thou wert not consumed and cut off long ago and that he hath not given only space to repent but also grace to repent from all and every sin in thought word and deed even with repentance unto life never to be repented of 100. And if thus thou art in sincere truth I say if in truth and sincerity these or the like be thy desires endeavours life and living end and aim habitually continually and universally then art thou what thou shouldst be and what God would have thee to be assure thy self thy heart is upright clean pure holy and perfect even according to Gods own holy heart thou art a man in Christ a member of Christ and surely surely Christ will assuredly own thee for his own and always love thee and live in thee even as he doth in his own as he doth to those in whom he liveth and whom he loveth and thy life shall henceforth be hid with Christ in God so that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming in glory thou shalt also appear with him to his eternal glory and thine everlasting comfort joy and eternal salvation 101. And therefore O man of God child of God son of God and servant of the eternal and ever living God chear up thy self and rejoyce yea I say evermore rejoyce for God is thy God and thy Father thy Portion thy Lot and thine Inheritance thou art surely his and he is as surely thine and Christ Jesus will be also thine all all thine the way the truth and the life to bring thee unto and give the possession of eternal life life eternal which he hath prepared for thee by his death and is preparing thee for it by his life for he lives to make continual intercession for thee the holy Spirit of grace the Sanctifier and the Comforter is thine he will guide thee lead thee direct thee keep thee and preserve thee unto the end even in the ways of all holiness and righteousness of peace joy comfort and consolation which are the foretasts and fore-sights of eternal life and salvation the very beginnings of the beatifical Vision of glory in glory and of those ravishing joys and pleasures prepared and laid up for the Just before the beginning of the world was which are such as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive being much ah much above all that we can ask or think for there we shall ever possess and enjoy all joys unspeakable joys yea fulness of all joys and pleasures for evermore even God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost who is all in all and in all the blessed to him alone be eternally given all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now and for ever and ever Amen Amen 102. None but the true children of God can truly love Gods children they that are his will love those that are his chiefly and most because they are his and those most that appear to be his most and those dearliest that are his dearest 103. I will much more more by much rejoyce in an obedient heart to submit unto and to do the whole and holy will of God in all cases conditions and places than to enjoy the wisdom of Solomon and all the honours riches delights and pleasures of the whole world 104. Ah Lord let my heart never be at rest until I find that it doth most willingly freely joyfully and choosingly submit and acquiesce unto all that God will be it what it will and to say of all things and in all conditions so would I have it 105. There is surely nothing so delightful unto the heart of a true Christian as to do the whole will of God holily and heartily as to please him by a sincere hearty and cheerful obedience universally 106. Ah the joys the joys the true joys the great joys yea the unspeakable joys the peace the peace the comfort the comfort the solace and the rest and quiet that is in the heart of him that feareth always from love for it destroys all servile fear and causeth such joy and gladness as passeth all understanding 107. What ah what honour is there like that as truly and sincerely to honour God! What pleasure ah what pleasure like that as always to please God! What joy ah what joy like that as always to enjoy God! What happiness ah what happiness like that comparable to that as to know him to be ours and we to be his What peace ah what peace like that as when we know our peace to be made with the God of peace through and by Jesus Christ the King and Prince of peace witnessed unto us by the continual indwelling in us of the Spirit of peace the Sanctifier of our souls and the Comforter of our hearts Ah what comfort what comfort like unto that as to find our selves in God and that great good God to be
know both how to want and how to abound 20. Truth inableth to go beyond all things for truth bringeth us home to possess all things even to possess God the God and giver of all things who is truth 21. By truth we are inabled to lead new lives and to have holy affections frequent in us our hearts being set on earth 22. Truth is lovely amiable beautiful desirable as the finest gold that cannot be finer 23. Truth maketh us unlovely lovely beautiful bright shining transparent and glorious being a beam a spark a coal a little light of that great light in whom we are comprehended but cannot Ah cannot comprehend for he is altogether incomprehensible 24. Truth makes us always lovely fair and beautiful in his eyes who can behold no falsity no evil 25. Truth is that mantle to cover our many infirmities and to make us that with boldness we may approach that glorious Sun and not be burnt that glorious day and partake of its glory that will cloud and eclipse the errours that are yet in us and make us to feel and to know that we are bound up in this blessed mantle with his hand that will take care over us and for us that no evil any more hurt us 26. Ah God the God of truth and my God let this truth of thine never depart from me nor I from it let me shine in it more and more that I may be resplendent and glorious always shining in thy sight that thou mayest delight to look upon me to love me and to honour me making me thy delight in and through the Son of thy love and the Saviour and Redeemer of my soul Jesus Christ the Righteous let my heart be always a heart of truth a true heart of truth serving thee unfeignedly and doing always all that I do in truth from love 27. When God is present there is present all good for all good is in God and from him proceedeth nothing but good he being the best the chief and the only good 28. Accordingly as we enjoy God our joys abound increase or decrease 29. When we possess him whatever other things we possess we possess them not whatever else we hear we hear not whatever else we see we see not whatever else we be we are as if we were not he being the souls all even all that it wills would love or desires the soul is so glued to him that it cannot be taken off by any thing that is either in heaven above or on earth below 30. Who can ah who can recount express tell or set forth the gracious magnificent transcendent bountiful bountifulness of our God in Jesus Christ its height is too high its breadth is too broad its length is too long and its depth is too deep As it is only his own Spirit that can tell what is in his mind for our good so it is only they they only that possess his Spirit that can comprehend in some measure the sweet Sweets that he gives that he pours and showres down into the hearts of his beloved ones 31. The joys of heaven are far above Unto all those that truly love Than all else be that we do know That we taste that we feel that we see 32. Go on go on O God go on To give me thy beloved Son Let him be mine let me be his For he 's my joy my peace and bliss 33. Let me in him and he in me Be alwaye seen to live and be Then when this all shall pass away My soul with him shall ever stay 34. It is unto thee O Christ that I come to have of thy self thy self 35. Let the world and devil use all their skill I am sure my God will be with me still 36. I am sure that God will fit and prepare me for all trials and afflictions whatsoever either before or in the trial of affliction 37. Ah Lord I beseech thee give me this grace that I may desire grace pray for grace and prize grace here on earth as I do and shall do glory hereafter in heaven for I know that he that hath not grace here shall not have glory hereafter and the more grace here the more glory hereafter 38. If then I live the life of grace here I am as sure I shall live the life of glory hereafter 39. Methinks it is much too low a thing for a Christian to desire any thing either here or hereafter for himself alone If I desire any thing here methinks it is chiefly for others most of all for others to refesh and comfort them I desire to have that I may have to give as for my self any condition I praise God would now fully please me would now fully content me yea I am fully perswaded that any bitter yea all bitters would be to me sweet in poverty I should find riches in banishment liberty in dishonour honour in contempt applause in being despised rejoyce and though I had nothing yet methinks I should enjoy all things 40. My God knows how much I desire heaven but more for his sake than for my own sake he knoweth that knoweth all the secrets of my heart that with my heart and soul I love him more much by much than my self I am so unlovely to my self that I cannot that I dare not love my self but in subordination to him and for him that I may praise him that I may prize him that I may fear him that I may love him ah that I may love him obey him and adore him 41. To love God I am unfit I am unworthy because I cannot ah because I cannot love him as I would as I should Indeed if thus it were possible for me to love him ah how would I delight even in my own love and love my self if that I had such a heart according to his heart to love him only with my whole heart even with a holy heart 42. But I find my heart so dull so dead so cold so benumm'd so Icy and Frozen that there is not that heat left within me of love as I would as I desire and as I should have for my God for my good for my heaven for my bliss for my rest for my peace and for my only joy all which is my God 43. Ah my Love thou art altogether unâ—ovely because thou dost not and because thou canst not love as thou shouldst what thou shouldst love and because thou lovest so much too much what thou shouldst not love thy self thy unlovely loveless self 44. Ah Lord my Lord it is thee it is thee that my Soul with all my heart would love and would if it could love none else love none besides in comparison of thee and thou knowest O Lord my God I desire sincerely and would be filled with this grace of Love buâ— for thee alone alone for thee for thee my God my God who art to me only lovely let I beseech thee all other love that is disordinate decrease
God my God is so good he is so good and so delightfull as he is now become my whole and my sole delight 78. Ah if it could be ever thus with me I am sure I should never want any of these things that the flesh craves not bread to feed me not drink to refresh me not cloaths to cover me having and possessing the things above and could they Ah and could they always be possest I think none but mad men and fools will dare say that we want any of the things below though we should want them all As to me I am sure I should not find any want if I could be always as I have been sometimes 79. But O Lord I praise thee O Lord I mightily prize and praise thee that I am content with thy will that is yet to live in this Bacca in this Wilderness and in this Valley of Tears as long as thou wilt yea I am so content that I pray heartily with my whole heart Let thy will be done on me wholly as thou wilt and not as I will or would I desire to be only only to be what thou wilt have me to be thine O Lord thine and not my will be done until thy Kingdom come Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 80. To have all things and not to have God sure is to have nothing sure to possess all things and not to possess God is to possess nothing all things besides God are vanity foolishness nothingness will flye from us and leave us for ever even then and when we have most need of help succour and defence but God will leave us never If we be his he will surely stand by us defâ—nd us assist us and give us all that we shall stand in need of yea much above what we can ask or think 81. The very least mercy or blessing either on body or soul which I have received from God deserves much more praise by much than I am able to give unto God though I should continually praise him and live continually to his praise for what am I poor despicable I that I should receive any thing from the hand of God! But ah how much less then from the heart of God in love 82. I know O Lord God that thou hast regard to my feebleness to make me strong to my poverty despicable poverty to make me rich for ever to my nakedness to cover me with thy most glorious Robes to my emptiness to fill me with thy blessed most blessed self to my uncleanness and filthiness to wash me white and to make me clean to my uncomliness to make me comly to my ugliness to make me lovely to my wretchedness and misery to make me honourable and blessed and to my nothingness to give me all things for ever and for ever So be it Lord so be it 83. Who can ah who can measure the earth fathom the sea and coÌ„unt the stars in heaven and yet how much more unable and hard is it to measure to comprehend and understand the height the depth the length and the breadth of the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. 84. His goodness is as his greatness incomprehensibly great 85. Thy presence O God thy presence makes all things that are bitter sweet and thy absence makes all sweet things bitter 86. O God thou givest such gifts to men that they can see even here in the flesh by the eye of faith that which thou hast prepared for them in heaven that Christ and all his graces and righteousness is theirs that heaven and eternal life and glory is theirs for ever and for ever that their sins are all pardoned and done away as if they had never been they see all that is to come as if it were already come unto them they have already as it were what they shall have hereafter even all those joyes riches and pleasures that are in God and therefore they rejoyce even here with unspeakable joy 87. Faith causeth us to read in that Book that is sealed up our names written there and our sins blotted out Faith carries us often up into Heaven even whilst we are here on Earth thus Faith can and thus Faith doth do all things 88. Heaven is Heaven O God because thou raignest See here in some little measure what Heaven is and what Hell is there and Hell is Hell because thou raignest not there Heaven is all good because that thou O God that art all good dwellest there and givest out continually of thy goodness to make them all good and like thy self that are there Hell is all evil because that thou O God that art all good art not there for Hell would not be Hell if thou wert there O God in love it is thy presence that maketh Heaven Heaven and it is thy absence that Hell is Hell Heaven is filled with thy smiles therefore it is Heaven Hell is filled with thy frown and therefore ah therefore it is Hell Heaven is filled with thy love and therefore it is lovely Hell is filled with thy hatred and therefore it is hateful Heaven is free of and from all sin and therefore it is Heaven Hell is full of all sin and therefore ah therefore it is Hell Heaven possesseth O God the light that glorious light of thy most glorious countenance and therefore it is such a most glorious light as cannot be comprehended with darkness but Hell is altogether dispossess'd of thee O God who art this light of Heaven and therefore it is all darkness even black thick darkness Heaven hath always thee O God who art not only holy but holiness who art not only wise but wisdom it self who art not only powerful but power it self who hast not only all things but art all things and therefore Heaven is such a Heaven as it is but Hell hath thee not wherefore it is all sinful wretched and miserable Heaven is Heaven in Heaven yea such a blessed Heaven as it is because thou hast O God blessed it and Hell is cursed yea cursed as it is because thou hast cursed it from thine eternal ever blessed presence They are blessed and shall be ever blessed that are in Heaven because they shall ever live with thee and possess thee O God the God and giver of all blessedness and they are cursed and shall be ever cursed that are in Hell because they live not in thee possess thee not and are not possessed by thee 89. Ah Lord God that art this Heavenly Heaven this light this glory this transcendant incomprehensible glorious light this blessedness this full whole entire compleat and perfect blessedness of all the blessed in glory this holiness this love this most lovely holiness Give me I most humbly beseech thee and unto all thine such a measure of thine infinite grace that we may even here sink into thee and be swallowed up by thee receiving continually grace for grace and be always altogether fully filled
only his thoughts is on any sin though never so small or never so liâ—â—le if in the least measure consented unto it robs him at that time of all his happiness his sight is darkned his eyes are so dim that he cannot look up sin is so heavy so devilish that it presseth the Soul downward to Hell to the Devil which plainly shews its Center whence it is and what it is for the time that it is thus liked or loved or but connived at it metamorphoses the Soul and makes it instead of being God-like Spiritual Knowledge Light Purity Serenity Peace Rest Comfort Joy and full contentedness to be in some measure Devil-like darkness fear shame horror confusion condomnation accusation hanging yea falling always downward and not able in the least measure to look upward or to hope or to think or to believe this is the nature of sin and of the man that is in sin to be heavy dull faint coward swallowing down and giving it self up unto all fears horribly ashamed and confounded being darkness even black thick darkness darkness it self and miserable ignorance which I take to be the greatest and sorest evil of all to be deprived of this Heavenly flower of this Heavens beauty of knowledge to see and know our blessed estates of being in God and Gods being in us which is perfect full whole and entire blessedness therefore the contrary ignorance black thick ignorance must needs be the contrary the puddle the filth and excrement of Hell in it self as it were entire full whole compleat and perfect cursedness and misery 123. Ah Lord God how great how transcendent magnificent wonderfully exceeding and unspeakably great is thy bountiful goodness in giving and forgiving what thou givest and forgivest especially unto me despicable poor vile me the first chiefest and greatest of all sinners and the very worst of the worst of all men how Ah how my Soul doth desire unfeignedly at this time to prize and praise thee I know that thou knowest And Ah that I could tell and shew forth how and what thou hast at this very time done for me in opening mine eyes to see and know and comprehend in some measure and understand what it is to be in thee to partake of thee and to be swallowed up into thee and in a little though very little dark measure to know thee but clearly to see feel and know that I am comprehended of thee that is that thou art mine and that I am thine Ah Lord suffer not I beseech thee that the ignorance which I am sure that sin brings with it take away from me this glorious portion of knowledge to know and feel and see my self in thee and that thou art and all thine mine Ah Lord let this light of thine which is thy self always shine in me that by it I may be kept from the black thick darkness of sin ignorance and errour and that I may not hence forth walk in those ways which lead unto such deep destruction as to eclipse weaken darken much less put out or destroy this glorious beam of thy most glorious light which through thy free most free grace and mercy in Jesus Christ thou hast at this time caused so brightly clearly transparently and fully to shine upon me Ah Lord let this glorious Light of thine always continue in me that I may always see my self in thee and thee in me and know thee to be mine and that I am thine that thereby I may be inabled to tell of and to set forth thy praises and that thou art such a God as thou art and to be desired and sought after only being only the desirable and the desired And grant that the remembrance of this thy Love and gracious dealing with me at this time may never be forgotten by me nor slip out of my mind but that I may always have it in remembrance that it may be as a strong Tower and Bulwark against all and every temptation that shall at any time fall upon me and that hereby I may be made more and more able to resist every lust and sin whether in thought word or deed to hate it and fly from it as the greatest of all evils as the fire of Hell and the worm of Conscience esteeming it the very worst of the worst of the Devil Let it I most humbly beseech thee O our Father in Jesus Christ strengthen and augment my resolution and hatred against all and every sin as well against the least of all as the very greatest of all that I may more and more see all sin to be exceeding sinful the bane ruine destruction and destroyer of all good blessedness and happiness Ah Lord hear me and answer me in Jesus Christ and continue thus graciously to go along with me to be always by me and to watch over me that no evil at any time either in thought word or deed overtake me or come nigh me to hurt me to the end I may walk before thee with a perfect and upright heart doing always all that is right in thy sight that thou mayest O Lord more and more delight in me the work of thy hand and in some measure I hope trust and believe in Jesus Christ the joy of thy heart and that thou wilt graciously own me for thine own and never be ashamed to be called my God for Christ my Soul doth and shall always bless thee and to him with thine own most glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace the Sanctifier and Comforter be always and eternally given Honour Gloey Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen 124. God he waiteth to be gracious to bring deliverance to his children and servants as they wait for the grace of deliverance 125. Thus is our God good gracious and merciful sympathizing with us in our afflictions as well as in our comforts 126. Thus is our God a most gracious God The God of all grace and Father of all mercies always doing good never weary repenting or standing still 127. His fountain of Love favour grace and mercy is not only always open for us but always running over flowing out to run into us he is abundant in loving kindness yea his delight is to be always doing good he would that we would always ask that he might always give 128. It is not possible but impossible to be weary speaking unto God when that we have his Spirit or to be weary hearing of him speak to us by the same Spirit 129. His words are as the droppings of honey the sweet of all sweets sweeter much by much than the honey or the honey-comb 130. The Soul of a right Christian of a true Believer doth not nor cannot desire more favour than to be admitted to speak freely unto God being fitted by him and taught by his Spirit what to speak for then he is sure to hear him to speak to him again an answer of peace 131. If it be so delightfull
that thinks any thing more worth than Christ is not worthy of Christ 178. He that would not willingly lose all things for him and for his sake shall never have him nor of him partake 179. He that holds any thing dearer than Christ's love shall never partake of his love 180. But he that loveth him above all things beyond all things and more than all things may surely say that he hath all things for as Christ is above all God blessed for ever and for ever so he is all in all unto all those that truly love him 181. So sure as we would that he did love us so sure it is that he doth love us and more sure much by much and so much as we would that he did love us so much he doth love us and yet much more by much and so strongly and continually as we would that he did love us so doth he and so will he even unto the end for there is nor never shall be any end of his love he will love whom he doth love world without end for ever and for ever 182. So sure as we are Gods creatures so sure is he our God and so sure as he is the Father of all mercies so sure is he our Father and therefore sure it is that we are his dear children and therefore surely he will be ever unto us a most loving and merciful Father delighting to do us good and to make us his very delight in Jesus Christ our eldest Brother blessed Saviour and Redeemer 183. O Lord I have no good in me but what comes from thee I say none at all either great or small 184. From thee O Lord alone I have all that I have therefore me and all mine I confess and acknowledge is all thine 185. How weary Ah how weary am I of my self and yet not so weary as I would be because I keep not thy Laws 186. How loathsome Ah how loathsome am I to my self and yet not so much by much as I would be because I love thee not O God my God as I would and as I should love thee 187. That God is what he is is the greatest and chiefest joy of all those that love him fear him know him and have given up themselves unto him 188. The presence of God which is Communion with him through his Holy Spirit is the feast of fat and pleasant things yea the Feast of Feasts unto that Soul and every Soul that hath truly tasted of him 189. In his presence is all joy unspeakable joy and from his right hand flow continual pleasures for evermore 190. The good and the only good that a soul in God desireth chooseth longeth for and panteth continually after being ever hungry and a thirst to enjoy is in some measure to be like him in all things always to be conformable unto him to put him on and that he may never put him off 191. The goodness of God is such a souls only goodness the glory of God is such a souls only glory the honour of God is such a souls only honour the wisdom of God is such a souls only wisdom the riches of God is such a souls only riches and the love of God is such a souls only love God being only his his only good his only all in all always All that is Gods is dear and near unto him yea is his dearest and his nearest of all things either in Heaven above or on Earth below his cause such a soul makes his and his truth and ways he is so wedded unto as he only joyeth in the remembrance of them and for that he is by his Holy Spirit thus strictly wedded unto them having chosen them for his Love his delight his refreshings and rejoycings having his heart in some measure according to Gods heart and his mind according to the mind of God 192. All that is in all creatures both in Heaven above and here on Earth below is from God all their strength is from his strength all their Power from his Power all their might from his mighâ— all their wisdom from his wisdom all their love from his love and all their loveliness from his loveliness all their goodness from his goodness and all their greatness from his greatness all their riches from his riches and all their peace from him who is the God of Peace all their rest from him who is their rest all their joy from him who is the God of Joy all happiness felicity and bliss from him who is all happiness in himself and is his own felicity and bliss Thus from Gods all all Creatures Saints and Angels have their all and therefore they return unto him always as all due is all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thansgiving for ever and for ever 193. Ah God how great is thy greatness how good Ah how good is thy great goodness how deliciously sweet is thy sweetness how lovely Ah how transcendently lovely is thy loveliness how beautiful Ah how beautiful is thy beautifulness Who Ah who is a God like unto thee our God abundant in loving kindness always doing good 194. Ah most gracious and most glorious Lord God full of all grace and all glory thou art all fulness of all blessedness all the blessed are all blessed in thee even from thy ever blessed blessedness 195. The Lord would not give me the World at full till he had first fully given me Heaven to the end that I might not love what I should not but what I should that I might not love most the less but the most that is having the true knowledge of the worth of Heaven I might chuse it prize it love it and make it my whole choice delight and love for if the Lord had first given me my fill of the World I should doubtless have satisfied my self therewith and rested on it and sought only after it and not have minded Heaven nor the things in Heaven I should have made these low things here below the highest things in my esteem and choice and sought no other Heaven than thus to have lived on earth possessing earthly things 196. But now blessed be God for his goodness though I have earthly things in abundance I esteem account and prize them but as the things of earth even as dirt dung and dross compared with the things of Heaven yea with those things of Heaven that God giveth here on earth to those that love him for he that hath seen that hath tasted and that knows the one and the other must needs acknowledge confess and say Ah how low are all these things here below when compared with the things above they are all even nothing at all empty poor despicable poor low things 197. The Lord would not suffer me to possess the things of the flesh first ere he had feasted resatiated and satisfied me with the things of the Spirit with Heavenly and Spiritual things that I might be able to make a fit
choice to chuse fitly and now he alone knoweth my desire my choice my aim and my end Let him do all that seemeth him good his will and not mine be done 198. Ah Lord make me more and more by much to hate all evil because it is evil altogether hateful and therefore to be hated 199. But Ah Lord God let me much more by much love all good because it is good and only lovely and therefore only to be loved 200. Let me hate all evil because it is not of thee O Lord nor from thee nor according unto thee but contrary yea altogether contrary unto thee and therefore hateful only hateful and to be hated only 201. But let me Ah Lord let me love all good and in all because it is from thee O God because it is of thee and according unto thee and therefore lovely beautifull desirable and to be only loved 202. Let me love only that O Lord God which thou lovest and hate what thou hatest and as thou lovest and hatest both the one and the other that is always and for ever and for ever In Bourdeaux Anno 1660. 1. THE happiness of a Christian in this World or in this Life he makes as to me to be strength against all sin even against all both great and small against the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that he may totally overcome and always all sinfull worldly fleshly lustings and affections so that he commit nor consent unto no evil at all either great or small but serve the Lord continually in sincerity and godly simplicity by all his thoughts words and actions doing all good always that is possible to be done at least in his choice will and desire 2. The comfort of a Christian in this life is in purity and holiness of heart mind affection and thoughts endeavouring always with might and main to his very utmost that he be not carried away with vain foolish fleshly thoughts cogitations inclinations or affections The more Spiritual holy heavenly and the more perfect he is the more of the Divine Nature he hath the more of Heavens beauty glory and happiness is in him the more he hath of the glorious beautifull and ever blessed impress of the Image of God in him which shines forth unto his understanding comprehension and reason so irradiously and brightly that he is comforted delighted and refreshed with the very joys and bliss in glory he is made partaker of those very joys though but in a small measure that the Angels and Saints enjoy in Heaven for such a Soul possesseth God and his glory and happiness as they do the difference only is in the measure or quantity and not in the certainty or quality the Saints Cup in Heaven is full to the brim when given them and they drink deep of those pleasures and joys which are at God's right hand But we indeed here have but a snip a tast and away they indeed enjoy these joys always without the least intermission But alas our enjoyment of these joys are short but a very little moment we cannot so comprehend as they do how they are comprehended we see but darkly and know but in part however it is the same that they see and know and so are all things ours as well as theirs both things present and things to come for God being our God we have as much as they have he being our Portion theirs is not nor theirs cannot be greater 3. Thus is a Saint on Earth perfectly substantially and effectually in heaven thou on Earth at times and sees and beholds things there as they are for a Saints heart which is his better part and greatest part is always in Heaven though his body be on Earth his affections are above and burn in the fire of Love always for the things that are above are purity holiness and love his meditations and desires are on his God in his God and for his God and thus he dwelleth in God and God dwelleth in him which is the sole entire and compleat comfort and joy of his life and soul even as it is theirs that enjoy and possess God in Heaven 4. Put these two together a Christians happiness and a Christians comfort for they cannot be separated yea there is such a oneness in them as though they be two yet they seem to be but one true one man may abound more in one of them and the other in another Now I am sure that there is not the Man alive nor never will live that knows the sweet the worth and the excellency of them but will confess and say that such a man is the only happy man the comfortable man the peaceable man the rich and the honourable man Ah man man who ever then thou art that shalt be brought by Providence I mean the Spiritual and most favourable Providence of God to peep here into I pray thee endeavour to pry and look into this perfect Law of Liberty more fully more clearly more plainly than yet thou hast and thou shalt find what I have exprest thy self to be even in Heaven and Heaven to be in thee though thou art on Earth to be in God and God to be in thee which is both men and Angels only good bliss happiness comfort joy and rest which good Lord for thine only holy names sake in Jesus Christ I most humbly beseech thee cause me more and more to know to feel to love and long after and that it may be my only imployment to find out this incomparable good this wisdom of wisdom those joys of all joys the only true and satisfactory and to be desired esteemed and rejoyced in Let me then O God my God I beseech thee be sequestred from all thingâ— that tend to please satisfie refresh solace content or delight the flesh for I earnestly would O God if thou so wilt that thou wouldst always be all mine all for thou alone thou knowest O God my God art only able to satisfie the ambitious and exorbitant covetous desires of my mind heart and soul for it hankers and hangs on thee as thou knowest continually let me have thee O God let me so have thee as I may find and feel that I have nothing else what ever else I may have Let me be swallowed up and consumed in thee yea let me I most humbly beseech thee be as it were dead and sensless to all things out of thee and besides thee and give me grace that I may so live to thee here that I may ever live with thee hereafter as there so here to bless praise magnifie laud honour and extol thy holy ever holy most blessed most great most gracious and most glorious name So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 5. A Christians life should be me thinks but a good thought that is always thinking of God for good or at the most but as two thoughts one of Gods Goodness Love Mercy and
Kindness and the other of our own desperate badness unkindness ingratitude and misery Thus even thus me thinks we should always be all the day long all our days unto the very end of our lives 6. According as is our Spiritual warfare within us so is our peace if there be an universal war in all the faculties of the Soul and members of the body against all sin then and only then do we enjoy peace true peace full peace and perfect peace Wherefore make first a Covenant with thine eyes that they gaze not abroad nor look irregularly or wantonly Secondly with thine ears that thou take no pleasure but avoid to hear all vain idle foolish or sinful talk Thirdly with thine hands that they touch no unclean thing that is that they serve not as an instrument at any time to do any evil Fourthly with thy feet that they carry thee not to do the thing at any time that is not altogether right in Gods sight and esteem Fifthly with thy tongue that thou speak not vainly lightly idly foolishly hurtfully slanderously or sinfully But that which shall honour thy God edifie thee here and comfort thine own soul and give thee joy in the day of the Lord Jesus Christ Sixthly with thy mind that thou mind only the things of God and what are according to his mind Seventhly with thy heart that thou love not seek not choose not prize not any other thing than what is according to Gods heart Eightly with all thy affections to love what God loveth and to hate what God hateth and as he loveth and hateth them in sincerity and truth continually Ninthly and lastly but not the least with thy thoughts to suffer no evil vain idle foolish gadding worldly affection to settle it self there a moment keep out all things thence but thy God and the serious thoughts of his goodness and of thine own badness of his mercy and of thine own misery of his Heaven and of thine own Hell of his glory and of thine own shame of his beauty and of thine own deformity and ugliness of his light and of thine own darkness of his fulness and of thine own emptiness of his fruitfulness and of thine own barrenness of his power and of thine own weakness of his Wisdom and of thine own foolishness of his Patience and of thine own frowardness and peevishness in a word of his riches which is above all over all and more than all things much by much either in Heaven above or Earth beneath and of thine own despicable poverty and nothingness at all only a sinful nothing or nothing but sin 7. If thus thou endeavourest to keep out all things but God and his ways out of all thy thoughts always thou shalt I promise thee live such a peaceable quiet comfortable sanctified holy blessed life as is unutterable unexpressible for as thy thoughts are so will be thy comforts or discomforts thy joys and rejoycings or thy reproaches and bewaylings Do thou thus draw near to God and thou shalt find him and feel him and perceive him and see him to draw near unto thee by his graces here which will bring thee to possess himself his Heaven and his Glory for ever hereafter 8. God doth not give us such a measure of grace here to free us altogether from our Corruptions infirmities and failings for these two ends as I conceive first that we be not lifted up above measure as we should be and think our selves to be something and that we are cloathed and rich and full God knoweth that it is better for us to see our poverty nakedness and emptiness that we may be Inheritors with the Saints in life of all the promises both of things present and to come And not to be shut out of them with the evil Angels and have our Portion in the Lake of fire and Brimstone world without end Again secondly If thus we did live at our hearts ease always without temptations failings or falls we should surely with Peter foolishly make Tabernacles here and not care for any other Heaven for indeed it would be a Heaven But not Ah not such a Heaven as our God hath prepared and provided for us above where we shall see him as he is to be seen and know him as he is to be known If we had here all that we would have or could desire and crave we should not with holy Heavenly enlightned Saint Paul desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ which as he said well truely and divinely was much better by much yea best of all And if we were not at times tempted how should we manifest the gifts and graces of Gods spirit in us as now through grace we do by our fightings strivings struglings wrestlings contendings in the heat of Zeal and fire of fervent love in truth to keep our selves as valiant Combatant◠〈…〉 holy Lists of his Divine and blessed Laws and ways not flinching at all or drawing back in the least or moving a foot But standing it out to the very last breath against all our spiritual Enemies and Adversaries within and without of Devils Lusts worlds Lusts and fleshly Lusts and Corruptions And here by constant and faithful engagements in this holy war in this spiritual combate in this Angelical fight for the honour and glory of the Eternal God the King of Kings and Lord of lords we are confirmed assured strengthned and setled by the whispers and sweet voice of his holy spirit within us to our Souls and Consciences that we shall in due time be made through his strength and continual assistance more than Conquerors and shall at last sit down and rest in peace Triumphantly with the Patriarchs Prophets Apostles Martyrs and Saints wearing for ever the Crown of Victory and Glory in Glory and be arrayed with the long white robes of Christs righteousness worthiness merits and obedience and ever live with him and his bliss enjoying for ever and ever his presence his Heaven yea himself who is the bliss of all bliss the Top and Crown of all joy the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven and the glory beauty splendor and sublimit◠of Glory in Glory 9. See then and consid 〈…〉 ess and muc◠better doth God deal with us and carve to us than we can or would for our selves how much Ah how much better is he to u◠and for us then we would be to and for our selves how much more over and above hath he prepared for us and will surely give us than we are able to ask than we are able to think wherefere let us learn to let him alone and pray him to deal with us and do for us as seemeth him good and always say in all things so Lord so would I have it seeing thou wilt have it so 10. I also conceive that God suffers us to fall at times for this end or the like that by our fall we may learn and be made to stand the faster to rise the higher
hath done it with the word of his power with his own voice who is that blessed Arch-Angel of the Covenant of peace and reconciliation 59. When I shall find that sin is thus rooted up in me by the roots then will I say that the Lords hand hath done it for I know that none but the Lord himself can do such wonders and work wonderfully thus 60. When I shall find that sin is destroyed in me then will I say that the Lord hath visited me graciously that he hath spoken peace to my poor soul and revived it and refreshed it then may I say he hath been with me of a truth and not regarded the low estate of his poor Servant 61. When I shall find sin dead then will I say as the Lord liveth and because he was put to death and now liveth I shall live also 62. Sin being thus banisht and cast out then shall I see my self free and taken O Lord into Covenant with thee then will I say I am no longer under the Law but under Grace which gracious favour O Lord do me that I may henceforth and for ever live unto and for thine Eternal honour and glory 63. Ah Lord God that wert fastned to the Cross for my sins and to save my poor Soul fasten my sins there and let them never get loose again and Ah Lord let my Soul live ever in thee and possess thee ever 64. Ah Lord that raignest over all Principalities and Powers raign I most humbly beseech thee over all these Princes and Powers that have Dominion over me that I may be brought into subjection unto thy most holy Laws and live obediently keeping all thy Divine Commandments That thou O Lord God who art God over all blessed for ever and for ever mayest be my God ever over all and bless me also for ever and for ever that I may ever live in thee and thou in me Amen Amen 65. If we be so willing to unstrip our selves of our cloathing at night and lye down on our beds naked to uncloath our selves of all our glory and honour pomp and beauty and to unmind that we are what we are to the end we may enjoy a few hours quiet and rest Ah how willing shall we be to unstrip our selves of all that we possess and of our lives too when that last long night of death shall come and appear to fetch us up from hence that we may be ever with the Lord who is our Eternal and everlasting Portion our infinite and incomprehensible good and blessed rest and peace which shall be as it were ever beginning and never end nor cease 66. Ah our God that art what thou art and yet wilt be pleased to be ours and to own us for thine own 67. Ah Lord God though others satisfie themselves to hear of thee let me not be satisfied till mine eye see thee 68. Though others O Lord be well contented to know thee as men teach Let me I beseech thee be satisfied only with thine own teachings to know thee as thou art to be known that is to see and find and feel thee in me dwelling raigning and ruling there being all in all and bringing into subjection all powers that lift up themselves in me against thee 69. Ah Lord God how much better is it thus to have thee than to have all things out of thee as the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World 70. What Ah what is Earth to Heaven these things below to the things that are above but as pebbles to pearls as dross to gold or as a shadow to the most glorious and most sublime substance 71. The one being life the other death the one fully satisfies the other is vain and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit with it 72. We cannot know God till we altogether forget our selves we cannot hear God till we are altogether deaf to our selves and to all things out of God we cannot see God till we are stark blind to all things besides him and that is not of him we cannot find God as he is untill we have lost our selves and all things else that concerns him not so do and prosper 73. As we know not our latter end nor are not able to number our days so are we not at all able to tell what God is unless he tell us nor to hear him unless he open our hearts and give us understanding nor comprehend him until he hath made us one with himself and given us his own Spirit to know him by 74. Thus if we live to move after his call and be obedient unto his voice we shall so hear that our Souls shall live and for ever rejoyce that we live thus to obey him 75. Ah Lord God Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth thou art the all of all those that know thee they that know thee O God as thou art to be known care to know nothing else thou art altogether alsufficient to content and satisfie them with all pleasures and delights their joys are full when that they enjoy thee And they then say with Jacob that they have all and with David desire nothing else either in Heaven above or Earth beneath Their wills are so swallowed up into thine that they are not theirs but thine and thus to live to thee and in thee they count it only to live and out of thee to be as if they were not as if they had no being 76. I am a Creature but thy Creature O Lord my God I am a man but created for thy self for thy glory and my Everlasting good and happiness and shall I know that I am thus such a one and not be satisfied for is there any thing else that can satisfie me thus 77. Ah Lord thou settest before me life and death good and evil light and darkness Heaven and Earth the things above and the things below Ah suffer me not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to prefer pebbles to pearls dross to gold darkness to light death to life evil to good Earth to Heaven these low things here below to those high and most transcendent glorious things above But let me give my self to thee O God that hast provided and given such rich rare and pretious things to me enjoying them let me not care seek for or mind these having thee let me be fully satisfied and rejoyce evermore with unspeakable joy 78. Being thy favorite O God who art King of kings and Lord of lords living in thy fear and favour shall I not rejoyce much more by much than they do or can do that are but favourites to men and have but their favour they shall all pass away but thee and thy word of grace ingrafted in me shall endure for ever and for ever 79. Ah Lord God pour out of thy self into me more and more that I may be made to rejoyce always with unspeakable joy yea that my joys may be full 80. Let mâ— O Lord rejoyce much more
Ah Lord God what is it to know all things from the Cedar to the Hyssop if we have not our understanding enlightned to comprehend that we are comprehended of thee 113. Let me only have this honour and I will despise all other honours and dishonours yea let me be despised by all so that I may be thus honoured O God by thee by thee O God by thee 114. All things O God compared to the knowledge of thee is not nor shall not I trust be ever at all regarded or esteemed by me 115. For if I can but once attain to know thee as thou art to be known I am sure I shall have all that I can desire to know to possess or to have 116. Having thee alone O God I shall have all that is or can ever be attained either here or hereafter 117. I know that there is none in Heaven that have more or that desire more let me have what they have and I shall then be as they be satisfied but till I have as much at least as any I cannot say that I have enough for my desires are as large And till I am thus filled as they are that thus know thee possess thee and adore thee I cannot but cry out with continual hungring and thirstings Oh feed me Oh fill me for I am empty and want all things if thou dost not O God thus fill me with thy bounty and satisfie me with thy loving kindness and cause me to see and know that thou art mine and that I am only thine 118. Ah Lord God I know it is thee only only thee that canst cast out Devils Ah cast out I most humbly beseech thee all the Devils that are in me thou O God that raisest from death to life and that forgivest all our sins freely even for thine own names sake only 119. All that is done in me is done by thee O God it is thine arm that bringeth me so great Salvation 120. Ah Lord God thou only art able to teach and none but those that are immediately taught by the spirit know thee or thy teachings 121. Ah Lord teach me then but to know thee as thou art known by thine and I will not care for any other knowledge or any other thing for he that hath this one thing given him may truly say as Jacob did that he hath all 122. Thou art O Lord God that well of life and water of life that whoever drinketh of that is hath thee in himself shall never more thirst again after any other thing for thou wilt O Christ be ever in him a well of water springing in him even unto Eternal life 123. Thou art O Christ thou art that bread of life that cometh down from Heaven into our hearts and feedest our souls in the assurance of faith sight and knowledge unto Everlasting life 124. Thou art ours and we are thine and this we are taught by thine own spirit dwelling in us and not by any other teaching or science 125. And being thus perswaded and assured our hearts do continually rejoyce yea and shall rejoyce continually even for ever and for ever 126. Such is the Mighty Power of God unto those that know him and wait on him that he maketh as it were at times the very stones in the wall to look on us and to speak good unto us 127. Such is Gods goodness that his presence brings with it all good and makes it present to us and dissipates all evil so as we are in some measure changed from evil to good and emptied of all evil and filled with all good But Ah its duration for the most part for the most of times is little and soon departs such is our forwardness and proneness to all evil and our aversness and deadness to all that is good which makes the Children of God with Paul to be weary yea stark weary of themselves as of a dead body yea to esteem their bodies their own natural affections even as dead bodies wherefore they desire to be dissolved finding such a Law in their members as continually fighteth and warreth against the Law of God in their minds and leads them so often Captive unto the Law of sin that they complain in the very language of that blessed Apostle Ah wretched man miserable worm that I am when shall I be delivered when shall I be freed and set at liberty when shall it be with me as my Soul desires it were to live unto God as I should as I would and not thus live in death or die all the day long whilst I am alive 128. Ah most glorious and most Holy Lord God it is thy glory that thou art what thou art and it is our mighty shame that we are what we are thy purity and thy power O God is only known unto thy self we indeed see something of thee But all that all the Angels and blessed in Heaven see were all their sight and knowledge in one of them would yet be much less by much than the least drop is to the whole Ocean yea than one moment is or would be unto Eternity Thou art O God thou art incomprehensibly glorious powerful and great there is no end of thy goodness for it shall continue for ever and for ever world without end so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 129. Let me O God my God be so swallowed up into thee as I may ask after nothing but thee as I may speak of nothing but the nor hear nothing in me but thee that I may desire nothing but thee and may live unto nothing but thee so that I may be all thine and nothing but thine 130. This knowledge O God of thee passeth all understanding none can speak of it unless thou speakest it in him and that is according unto us and not according to thee for if thou should'st speak unto us according to thy self Ah Lord we could not hear thee so as to comprehend it 131. As we have thee O God so we speak of thee as we know thee so we declare thee as we feel thee so we praise thee and as we comprehend thee so we prise thee and according as thou art unto us so we publish it unto others But alas alas what is this to thee to what thou art 132. Let not him that hath the most boast for he hath nought but what is given him 133. Let not him that hath the least be discouraged for he hath so much as will do him most good at the last 134. Let not him that is fallen cast himself down over much for God if he seek him will raise him up again 135. Let every man wait and in due time he shall have so much of that which God seeth and knoweth is best for him 136. The best of all is that which God seeth to be best of all for us and so much he will not fail to give thee O man who ever thou art if thou relye and depend on him
of my natural darkness which is darker than the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter than the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Laws and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fill me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us that Gal. 3. 27. makes us Christians which is to be like Christ to be Baptized in him to have put him on and this oneness with Christ God is in all the Saints all the Saints are thus one in God with Christ he in us and we in him MEDITATIONS ON DEATH HOW It appears to the Godly and to the Wicked after a great Sickness ALL happiness is in Christ and in possessing of him and there is no true happiness out of Christ All the whole world is much too little and too low to be compared to Christ and to the living in him Though he should want bread to eat and Cloaths to put on Christ I am sure alone will satisfie and truly please and content any man A naked Christ a poor Christ that is a Christ that shall bring nakedness and if as with Job Poverty and uncomliness he will be to a Soul that truly knows him the fairest of ten thousand without spot or wrinkle the only fair and beautiful the only desirable the whole and only desires the riches honour treasure and pleasure of all souls that truly know him A soul that truly knows Christ cannot live as he would without a farther knowledge of him living in him to have Communion and fellowship with him which is of more value to him and he prizeth it more than ten thousand worlds and lives Christ being above all things and more than all things much by much A Christians last hour is his best hour the hour of his Death is the best hour of all his life yea that hour is the true beginning of life for Death sin and Hell are swallowed up into Victory and the Devil totally and finally overcome Death is advantagious unto a Christian divers wayes when he dyes then he begins to live in the Lord who is the Lord of life and glory then he shall in a very great measure know feel and see the unspeakable love of God to him but I conceive not altogether so as it is in God that shall even surpass our knowledge there for we shall be swallowed up into it and be filled with it it shall contain us but we shall not be able to contain it and there shall we have continual and perfect love to love God perfectly and continually even as he would have us to love him which is the continual fulfilling the whole Law and which will make us of all things most like himself for God is love and surely it is the most lovely grace of all graces both on earth as well as in Heaven and so through grace I have found it Ah let us never then pray against Death which brings us these and a thousand more Heavenly advantages but rather be prepared to meet it with joy and embrace it as our best friend next to Christ Ah how sweet is Death even almost as Heaven to that soul that is housed in God and hath his peace made sure with him Death to such a soul is much better than any life Ah how sweet is Death to that soul that knows Heaven is prepared for him and finds and feels himself prepared for Heaven and sees his Saviour with his blessed arms spread abroad to welcome and embrace him and his glorious head bowed down to kiss him and he nigh him to receive him into his Everlasting Habitation of rest joy and peace Death at the worst is but a sweet sleep to the body to him that dyes in the Lord for he rests from all his labours but it is life to the soul and it shall ever live in and with the Lord of life and Glory I am sure to a good Christian that is such a one as is in some measure like Christ that lives and walks and doth as far as he is able as Christ did when he was here in the flesh the thoughts of death and its being not far off bring him the most joy next to the Glory of God and his interest in him by Christ Ah how sweet is death to that soul that knows himself to be long since dead to all sin Death is sweet to all such souls because he be-friends them so much as in a moment to house them in the blessed arms of their blessed Redeemer Christ Jesus Death is sweet to them that are in Christ because he carries them in a moment to live in his presence for ever and for ever and to enjoy him as he is to be enjoyed and to be made like him glorious as he is glorious though not so glorious Death is to all that are in Christ as Elijah's Chariot of fire which purifies them and expels all the remainder of Corruption that is within them that is by death all evil is done away we are no more capable of sin by death death is destroyed and life appears But Death to the wicked is the Devils Chariot sent from Hell to bring them quickly there as Jehu's Chariot it drives them furiously thither from whence none is able to deliver Death to the Godly is a Consuming fire to all their sins they shall not ever more be seen or remembred but it is a fire as from Gods Altar to purifie their graces and to make them shine more radiant than the Sun after death they shall in a moment be made perfectly pure and purely perfect and ever so abide But Death to the Wicked is that fire of Hell that shall consume all the good that ever they did so as it shall not nor cannot be seen nor remembred but it will make all the evil that ever they committed either in thought word or deed to be ever before the eyes of God and all the blessed in Heaven and before the Devils and all the damned and their own as if writ with a beam of the Sun Death to those that are in Christ brings them to hear that sweet and ever blessed voice of Christ himself come ye blessed inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from all Eternity and well done good and faithfulâ— Servant enter thou into the joy of thy Lord. But death to the Wicked will bring them in a moment for ever to hear that most doleful voice from the mouth of Christ go ye cursed with whom with the Devil and his Angels into everlasting burning into that fire that cannot be quenched which
be thine and thou ours Ah Lord God I praise thee thou hast often given me the seal of thy Love thy Holy Spirit witnessing assuring establishing and perswading my Soul heart and conscience of the free full and gracious pardon of all my sins past present and to come Thou hast often O God I praise thee thus covered me thus spread the banners of thy Love over me thus made me sit under the shadow of thy branches thus feasted my Soul in thy banquetting house of Love rest peace and joy thus shewn me thy beauty and thy glory thus allured me and tyed me fast unto thy self with the cords of thy divine Love thus shewn me thy great Salvation thus given me wisdom and knowledge to know thee my God and Father and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent thus caused me to believe and hereby made my joys full to admiration adoration and astonishment On this glorious Mountain of Grace have often I desired to abide that I might continue to abide with thee to enjoy thee who only art full and perfect joy but I know that these changes shall and must come as Winter and Summer whilst we are here in the flesh but the time will come that thou wilt change us but once more and then we shall live with thee in thee and to thee for ever and for ever Ah Love who can speak of it fitly or as he should it is thy Divine Nature O God it is thy self and therefore men nor Angels cannot declare it this three-fold Cord thy Love O most blessed and glorious Trinity cannot be broken and against it the gates of Hell shall never prevail Ah greatness that 〈◊〉 good although thou hast in Heaven Millions of Millions of most glorious Creatures to look on and converse with yet notwithstanding such is thy profound humility and condescendence love and goodness that thou wilt and dost behold yea and delight too to behold and communicate unto us poor worms sinful dust and ashes the richest choicest greatest and most peculiar treasures of thy grace and glory even of the very same though in a far less degree and measure as thou dost unto them that are with thee in Heaven thou givest us knowledge to know thee love to love thee joy to rejoyce in thee and rest to roul and rest our selves on thee they indeed eat and are filled drink deep and are resatiated see thy face and are altogether satisfied But we indeed here do eat but the fragments or crums of their so Royal Feast and Banquet we do but sip of the cup of which they drink so deep and this to us is but at times but they are always thus replenished and filled with the good things of thy House we indeed see thee O God but very darkly at the best sight of thee to their sight we know but in part at the highest pitch of our attainments here in the flesh and joy and rejoyce but at times the World Ah this wretched World and the things of the flesh as cloggs yea as Mountains of Earth pull us down to the Earth when our Souls are as on Eagles wings soaning up to Heaven and pull us back when we are as it were peeping into Heaven yea when O God thou dost as it were pull back the vail that we might see even into the Holy of Holies thus thou feedest and feastest us at times with the very bread the blessed with thee feed on and causest us to drink the Wine of the same Vintage and we in thy Son Jesus Christ see our selves clean undefiled without spot or wrinkle pardoned justified sanctified yea as if we were already glorified with thine own glory true they have their portion in hand in possession ours is by promise yet to receive but we have thy Word O God who art just true and unchangeable and therefore we can and do rejoyce as well as they and with the same joy And thus O Christ my Saviour and Redeemer I know thou wilt present me unto thy Father even in thine own righteousness worthiness and obedience they shall all be imputed unto me as if they were mine own and in these thy glorious robes I am sure and certainly perswaded I shall find acceptance before God thy Father who will not be ashamed to own me for his own nor to be called my God and my Father I know and confess Ah my dear Redeemer that all my bliss and happiness present and future consist in being united unto thee and as having an interest and sure title to thy worthiness and obedience for in thee and in thee alone we are heirs of all mercies and blessings out of thee we are heirs of all miseries in thee we are children of the Father but out of thee children of the Devil in thee we shall be accepted and accounted worthy but out of thee rejected and esteemed unworthy in thee we shall pass for obedient even as if we had never transgrest nor sinned but out of thee we can be lookt on but as disobedient and transgressors of all thy most holy Laws and Divine Commandments in thee O Christ I say in thee we 〈◊〉 fit for Heaven but out of thee only fit for Hell in thee O Christ in thee we are the Fathers delight but out of thee his hatred in thee O Christ in thee we have much boldness and free access to the Throne of Grace but out of thee only shame and confusion of face in thee O Son of Righteousness we are more resplendent glorious and beautiful than the Sun but out of thee Ah out of thee we are blackness ugliness and deformity in thee O thou the only all we have all things but out of thee we want all things Ah that thou wouldest give me more and more of thy self that I might give thee more of my self Ah that thou wouldest so live in me that I might only live to thee and for thee who art the liâ—â— of my liâ—e yea much better than ten thousand lives Thus even thus thy blood O Christ speaketh good things to us and for our souls for whom thou hast dyed it opens Heaven gates unto us when it shuts them against others it appeaseth the Fathers wrath towards us when it causeth it to burn against others it procureth us all good when it preventeth all against others it maketh our peace so that we shall ever live in rest and peace with thy Father the God of Peace with thy self the Prince of Peace and with thy Holy Spirit the Spirit of Peace when to others it shall make War for ever and for ever Ah my dear Saviour send down I most humbly beseech thee thy Holy Spirit into my heart to sanctifie purifie and purge me from all dead works from the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that I may live as thou didst live here in the flesh doing all the good was possible to be done from the highest of Grace to the very lowest
in us What ah what so sweet as to feed continually on these true heavenly sweets here on earth which are the very sweets of Heaven in Heaven 108. I do now wonder that any man hath or can have any peace a moment that hath not his peace made sure or a sure peace made with God 109. All other quiet ah how unquiet will it prove in the end that is not founded or grounded on this sure foundation or ground of Gods love in Jesus Christ 110. I wonder Ah I wonder men are not as it were continually torn in pieces with sears and cares till all these sears are taken away by a lively living Faith and their whole cares cast on Christ 111. I wonder Ah I wonder that terrors do not always terrifie them that Hells torments do not affright and amaze them until that they have a sure and certain confidence that Christ hath redeem'd them from it 112. I wonder yea I much wonder that any man can call any thing else a good thing but only this one thing that is so good even Christ's goodness and that he is mine and that I am his even bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and that I am sure he hath so loved me as to give himself for me to dye in my place and stead So that I am now reconciled thereby unto God who is become my Father and my God 113. I wonder Ah I much wonder now that any man can desire to live any other life or dye any other death than to God and for God 114. I wonder now yea I now do very much wonder that all men do not seek this one thing necessary so necessary to give up themselves even all their all unto God by good works and a holy life to live to him only by whom they only live and for whom only they are and were created 115. I wonder Ah I wonder now that any other life can give or should give us any or the least pleasure for thus to live in for and to God is only to live and he that thus lives lives only and none but such do live for those and all those that live not unto God are dead though they be alive yea though they do live 116. The worst of men and all men and at all times wish to dye the death of the righteous as Balaam did but few Ah few sincerely desire to live the life of the righteous for if they would they might and be assured to their eternal and everlasting joy that if they did so live they should so dye and then so live with God and in God eternally 117. Ah let us then not only desire but also earnestly labour and endeavour so to live in this life as we would live in the after life when this life shall be no more and to hate sin and love righteousness now as those do and shall then and as we shall likewise if we live in God with them and he that so loves and hates here shall ever live in Love for ever hereafter 118. Let us love the Lord heartily in all things and for all things knowing assuredly that all things that he doth unto us are in Love 119. Therefore if the Lord strike me I will rejoyce in it because it is his hand doth it yea I will therefore mightily rejoyce 120. What ever the Lord doth unto me I will rejoyce mightily in it because he doth it and because he doth it unto me therefore I know it is best for me and I know that his end in it is to make me to rejoyce 121. Strike then O Lord strike strike and spare not either on my body or Soul goods or good name when thou wilt where thou wilt and in what manner soever thou wilt I am ready most ready and most willing to praise thee to laud extol and magnifie thee and to declare that so I would have it yea that I would only have it so for thou knowest O Lord my heart and therefore that with my heart I heartily desire to be and have what thou wilt have me to have and to be thy will O God thy good will and not mine let be always done in me and upon me 122. I desire to live in God only that I may only live to and for his glory 123. To glorifie God is true glory the glory only which is true 124. To possess God is true riches the riches only which is true 125. To get God is to get all for all things else are nothing nothing yea nothing at all 126. To be with God is to be free for all things Lord are still in thee 127. Thou art that all that only all that ever was and ever shall 128. I have nothing wherein to boast but in the Love and Mercies of my God and of his Mercies and Love I am resolved ever to boast 129. He that possesseth God possesseth all things that he would possess and careth not nor asketh not nor regardeth not any other possessions 130. He that feareth God rightly feareth no other fears how dreadful or fearful soever they be no not his many great fearful sins nor death the King of terrors and fears 131. He that enjoyeth God hath all the joyes he would enjoy or can desire to have for to him God is much more by much than all and above all things that can be enjoyed 132. He that loveth God truly and rightly hath all that he loveth because he loveth nothing like him or in comparison oâ— him either in Heaven above or on the Earth beneath 133. He that pleaseth God by walking wellpleasing before him hath and he can desire no other pleasures for to keep his Laws is all his delight and the only thing that bringeth joy to his heart and that feasteth his Soul with marrow and fatness yea with all pleasant things 134. He that thus giveth up himself to God and acknowledgeth him for his all shall have of him here as well as hereafter much I say much above all that he is able to ask or think 135. He that only willeth Gods will hath always his own will at all times in all places and conditions 136. He that giveth himself to God may be sure that God hath given himself unto him more sure and therefore all that God hath is his 137. He that would no other good but God hath God and therefore all good for he that hath God sure hath all things else sure he may be sure for in him are all things and from him come all things therefore to him alone and unto none else be only all honour and all glory for ever and for ever 138. Ah what a blessed yea most blessed Heaven is it to walk in the ways of God which will assuredly lead us and bring us to the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 139. To possess God we must dispossess our selves of our selves 140. To be filled with God we must empty our selves of our whole selves 141.
To have God we must hate our selves that is all even all that is not of God 142. To see God we must put out our own eyes and not see with them but with his eye only only with his 143. To feel God he must be in us and we must be in him 144. To know God we must first know our selves as we are in our selves then Ah then shall we have our eyes opened to see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is by faith from love 145. To hear God we must resolve to be obedient unto him then shall we surely hear his sweet still voice even of his own spirit within us saying Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven thee I am thy God and I will be thy God and thy guide for ever and for ever 146. To fear God is to walk uprightly in all his ways esteeming them all holy just and good 147. How Ah how doth the heart of a Child of God open and shut pant and gape hunger and thirst grieve and groan after the goodness of God which is after his likeness to be like him for it cannot else be satisfied no not with all things not with Heavens all or that is on the earth for God only is all his good 148. I had much rather by much have the grace to please God than the grace of spiritual comfort rather have the grace of Sanctification than of Consolation 149. Let me get and keep my God with the loss of all and I will account it no loss I say no loss at all 150. The world 's all is nothing I say nothing at all to God our all who is only all even all only that is or can be desired 151. Surely surely the very soul of Religion is to serve God sincerely and heartily with our whole hearts and souls 152. For a little Ah for a very little which we give to God he giveth much to us let us not be niggards then if we will or desire to have him bountifull unto us and recompence our little with his much our small with his all 153. No man surely no man ever lost or repented for giving too much to God or for doing too much for him for every mite we rightly give a Talent at least we shall receive thus to love and fear the Lord in truth is true wisdom 154. Ah the happiness the unspeakable great and true happiness to possess God and to be possest by him if then so great here Ah how great shall it be and will it be hereafter if the beginning here bring such unspeakable joys how unspeakable will they be when begun there where we know they will never pass away or have an end 155. I had much rather by much have God with me and in me and feel it and know it and have nothing else than to have him and not feel him and have all that my heart doth or can else desire 156. When Ah when I am in his presence I am so satisfied to the full that I ask after no other satisfaction all other things are not regarded no nor thought on but thought altogether unworthy to be thought on or in the least regarded 157. Possess then Ah possess then O God my God who art all my good my whole heart mind thoughts and affections that I may be all thine and none but thine always thine and ever thine even wholly thine until that thou hast made me such as thou wilt have me to be which is holy as thou art holy pure and perfect as thou O God art even in all things in some measure like unto thee so be it O Lord God so be it Amen and Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1659. 1. IF thou art O God my God I am sure thou wilt be my guide and if thou art my guide O God I am sure thou art my God 2. If O God thou goest with me I am sure that all will go well with me but if thou goest not with me I am sure that what ever I do will be ill with me and for me 3. If thou art mine O God if thou art mine I am sure I am and shall be ever thine but if thou art not mine so sure even so sure it is that I am not thine 4. If I have thee O God for my God I have all I need to have but if I have thee not I have nothing thou knowest of all that I desire and crave 5. Let me then so find thee that I may feel thee in me and feeling may rejoyce with that unspeakable joy which they only feel and find that have found thee and fed on thee 6. Let all things else what ever they be pass away do but thou O God with thine own spirit abide in me I say ever abide in me and I shall I am sure rejoyce and be glad that they be all banisht what ever they be and that it be said of them all they are not they are not at all 7. Let me then O God my God so have thee possess thee find feel and enjoy thee that my heart may be always upright before thee and transform'd and conform'd like unto thee even according to thine own heart holy pure perfect spotless and unblameable that thou mayest henceforth and for ever always and ever own me for thine own 8. I love truth in all things it is only truth that makes all things unto me lovely for where truth is there we may safely and truly say that God is for God is truth 9. Let O God always truth abide in me and I in truth 10. Truth is my joy truth is my delight truth is my food truth is my life truth is to me a continual feast of myrrh mirth and gladness truth always gladdeth my heart and makes it to rebound upward to skip and leap as a Kid on the Mountains and as a Lamb on the Hills 11. Truth is to me as a pretious Oyntment an eye salve it is a healing and a comforting to me always 12. Truth brings down as it were Heaven unto me and carrys me up again into it 13. Truth speaks loud in the ears of my soul and fills it with joy and continual and abundant rejoycings 14. Truth warmeth my heart at all times keepeth the fire of love joy and peace alive that it never goeth out 15. Truth is a Balm to heal all sores to fill up all scarrs to make us without blemish fair and beautifull 16. Truth never grows old but is always young strong and tender it keeps us fast to him and him fast to us whom only we desire to hold fast and never to let go 17. Truth hath power to weaken all that is amiss in us to bring it under until it be conquered finally and destroyed totally 18. Truth inflames our hearts that they are as a fire newly kindled which cannot easily be quenched 19. Truth aboundeth over all and makes us to abound likewise so that we