restore my selfe I make a grant of my selfe to thee through whome I am through whome I liue and through whom I haue the vse of reason I hope I trust and I place all my confidence in thee by whome I may be able to rise againe and to liue and rest It is thou whom I desire whome I loue and whome I adore and with whome I am to remayne raigne and be happie The soule which seekes not thee nor loues not thee doth loue the world and serueth sinne is a slaue to vice and is neuer quiet or secure O thou most holy God let my minde be euer performing seruice to thee let this pilgrimage of mine be euer sighing towards thee let my hart burne through the loue of thee let my soule O my God repose in thee let it contemplate thee in excesse of mind and let it singe prayses to thee in full ioy and let this be my comfort in this banishment of mine Let this minde of mine fly to the shadowe of thy winges from the scorching cogitations of this world Let this hart of mine be at a calme in thee this hart which is such a deepe Sea full of swelling waues O thou who art so rich of heauenly food thou most aboundant imparter of that spirituall celestiall satiety giue nourishment to him who is defeated with hunger gather him vp who is scattered free him who is entrald stitch him together who is torne Behold he standeth at the doore and knocks I beseech thee by those bowells of thy mercy in which thou being the Orient didst visit vs from on hygh commaund that it be opened to this miserable creature who is knocking that so with nimble feete I may enter into thee and repose in thee and be refreshed by that bread of heauen For thou art both the bread and the fountaine of life thou art the splendor of immortall light In fine thou art all those thinges wherby iust persons liue who loue thee CHAP. V. Of the Desire of a soule O God the light of those hartes which see thee and the life of those soules which loue thee the strength or vertue of their thoughts who seeke thee graunt that I may be incorporated into the holy loue of thee Come I beseech thee into my hart and inebriate it with the springing plenty of thy delights that so I may forget all worldly thinges I am ashamed and I am afflicted to find my selfe suffering such thinges as this world is doing All that which I see concerning transitory thinges makes me sorry and all that which I heare makes me sad Help me O Lord my God infuse ioy into my hart and come to me that so I may grow to see thee For this house of my soule is strait till thou come into it and so it be inlarged by the. It is ruinous till it be repaired by thee It hath many things which may offend thyne eyes I know it and confesse it but yet who is he that can cleanse it or to whom but thee shall I cry out Cleanse me O Lord from my hidden sinnes and pardon also thy seruant those sinnes which he hath caused in others Make me sweet Christ O deere Iesus make me I beseech thee lay downe the burden of carnall desires and of the concupiscence which I haue after earthly thinges Giue dominion to my soule ouer my body and to my reason ouer my soule and to thy grace ouer my reason and subdue me both in my outward and inward man to thy will Graunt to me that my hart may praise thee togeather with my tongue and all the strength I haue Dilate my mind and hoyse vp the sight of my hart that at least by some glymse my spirit may with a swift and suddaine thought lay hold vpon that eternall wisedom whach is aboue all thinges and whach lasts beyond them all Discharge me I beseech thee from he chains wherin I am bound by sinnes chat at last I may giue ouer all thinges that I may hasten to thee and behold and adhere to thee alone CHAP. VI. Of the felicity of a soule which is freed from the prison of flesh and bloud HAPPY is that soule which being freed from this earthly prison arriues to heauen and seeth thee her most deere Lord face to face And which is no longer subiect to the least feare of death but doth reioyce in the incorruptibility of eternall glory She is then in peace she is secure doth no longer feare either death or any other enemy For she possesseth her deere Lord whom she hath long sought and whome she hath euer loued and being associated to those Quires of Angels she doth eternally sing those melodious Hymnes of thy euer lasting solemnity O Christ thou King thou deare Iesus to the prayse of thy glory For then she is inebriated by the fresh and springing plenty of thy house and thou giuest her to drinke of thy delights O happy society of those heauenly Cittizens O glorious solemnity of them who returne to thee from the sad labour of this pilgrimage of ours to that sweetnes of beauty to that delightfulnes of all splendour and to that dignity of all pleasing grace where thy Cittizens O Lord do continually behold thy countenance There is no eare in that place which can heare any thing that may offend it What songs what Organs what Hymnes what melodies are sung there without any end Eternally are there sounded forth mellifluous cōcents of Hymns that most sweet melody of the Angells those most admirable canticles of Canticles which are sung forth by those heauenly Cittizens to thy prayse and glory No bitternes nor any kind of vnsauorynes or gall can haue any place in that Countrey of thine for there is no wickednes nor any wicked man There is no aduersary or enemy there is no tempting bayte of sinne there is no want no shame no quarell no reproach no exception taken no feare no vnquietnes no payne no doubt no violence no dissention But there is souueraigne peace pertect charity eternall iubilation and prayse of God secure euerlasting repose and perpetual ioy in the holy Ghost O how happy shall I be if once I may arriue to heare those most sweet songs of thy cittizens those mellifluous Hymns which with due honour shall declare the prayses of the most blessed Trinity But O how happy euen too happy shall I be if my selfe may obtaine to sing to our Lord Iesus Christ some one of those sweet songs of Syon CHAP. VII Of the Ioyes of Heauen O Vitall life O eternall life and eternally happy where there is ioy without griefe rest without labour dignity without feare riches without want life without death perpetuity without corruption and felicity without calamity Where all thinges are good in perfect charity where there is showing seeing face to face where there is complete knowledge in all and by all where the soueraigne goodnes of God is discerned where the illuminating
yet agayne it is afflicted because it falls back and returnes to be an Abysse or rather it findes that still it is so My faith which thou hast kindled in this night of myne before my feete doth say Why art thou sad O my soule and why doste thou afflict me Hope thou in God his word is a lanterne to my feete Hope and continue to doe so till the night which is the mother of the wicked doe passe a way till the wrath of our Lord passe away wherof sometymes we were the Children For sometymes we were darknes Till this fury of water pass cleane a way we still dragg on in our body which is dead through sinn the reliques of that darknes Till such tyme as the day shall approach all shadowes may be remoued I will hope in our Lord. In the morrow of the next life I shall assist and contemplate and I will euer confesse to him In that morrow I shall assist and behold the health of my countenance which is my God who will reuiue euen our mortall bodyes for that spiritts sakes which dwelleth in vs that now we may be light euen whilest we are saued here by hope That we may be the Sonns of light and the Sonns of God and not of night and darknes For sometymes we were darknes but now we are light in thee O our God and yet we are so here but by Faith and not face to face Because that hope which is seene is not hope All that immortall people of thy Angells praiseth thee O Lord and those celestiall Powers glorify thy Name They haue no need to read any such writing as this towards the makeinge them knowe the holy indiuiduall Trinity For they see thy Face for euer and there they read without any syllabes of tyme what that eternall will requires They read they choose and they loue They euer read and that neuer passeth which they are readinge By choosing and by loueinge they read the very immutability of thy counsell and their booke is neuer shutt and their scrowle neuer folded vp for thy self is all that to them and so thou art to be for euer O how excessiuely happy are those powers of heauen which are able to praise thee most purely and holyly with excessiue sweetnes and vnspeakable exultation They praise thee for that in which thâ—â— ioy because they euer see reason 〈◊〉 they should reioice and praise them But we being oppressed by this burthen of our flesh and being cast farr of from thy face in this pilgrimage of ours and being so racked by the variety of worldly things are not able worthily to praise thee Yet we praise thee as we can by Faith though not face to face but those Angelicall spiritts praise thee face to face not by Faith For our flesh putteth this vpoÌ„ vs obligeth vs to praise thee farr otherwise then they doe But how soeuer euen we sing praise to thee in a different manner and yet thou art but one O God thou Creator of all things to whome the sacrifice of praise is offered both in heauen and earth And by thy mercy we shall one day arriue to their society with whome we shall for euer see and praise thee Grant O Lord that whilest I am placed in this fraile body of mine my hart may praise thee my tongue may praise thee and all the powers of my soule may say O Lord who is like to thee Thou art that Omnipotent God whome we worshiâ— as Trine in Persons and Onâ—â— the Substance of thy Diety We adore the Father vnbegotten the Sonne the onely begotten of his Father and the Holy Ghoste proceedinge from them both and remaininge in them both We adore thee O Holy and indiuiduall Trinity one Omnipotent God who when we were not did'st most puissantly make vs and when by our owne fault we weare lost by thy pitty and goodnes thou did'st recouer vs after an admirable manner Doe not I beseech thee permitt that we should be vngratefull for so great benefitts and vnworthy of so many mercyes I pray thee I beseech thee I begg of thee that thou wilt increase my faith hope and charity I beseech thee make vs by that grace of thyne to be euer firme in beleiueinge and full of efficacy in working that so by meanes of incorrupted Faith and workes worthy therof we may through thy mercy arriue to euerlastinge life And there beholding thy glory as indeed it is we whome thou haste made worthy to see that glory of thyne may adore thy Maiesty and may say together Glory be to the Father who created vs Glory be to the Sonne who redeemed vs Glory be to the Holy Ghoste who sanctifyed vs Glory be to the supreame indiuiduall Trinity whose workes are inseparable and whose empire is eternall To thee our God praise is due to thee a Hymne of glory to thee all honor benediction clarity thanksgiueing vertue and fortitude for euer and for euer Amen CHAP. XXXIV He complayneth against himselfe for not being moued with the contemplation of God whereat the Angells tremble PArdon me O Lord pardon me through thy mercy pardon and pitty me pardon my great ignorance and imperfections Doe not reiect me as a presumptuous creature in that I aduenture being thy slaue I would I could say a good one and not rather that I am vnprofitable and wicked and therfore very wicked because I take this boldnes to praise and blesse and adore thee who art our Omnipotent God and who art terrible and excessiuely to be feared without contrition of hart without a fountaine of tears and without due reuerence and trembling For if the Angells who adore and praise thee doe tremble whilest they are filled with that admirable exultation how comes it to passe that I a sinfull creature whilest I am present with thee and sing prayses and offer sacrifices to thee am not frighted at the hart that I am not pale in my face that my lipps tremble not and my whole body is not in a shiueringe and that so with a flood of tears I doe not incessantly mourne before thee I would fayne doe it but I am not able because I cannot doe what I desire Herupon I am vehemently wondringe at my selfe when by the eyes of Faith I see how terrible thou art but yet who can doe euen this without thy grace For all our saluation is nothing but thy great mercy Woe be to me how comes my soule to be made so senseles as that it is not frighted with excessiue terrour whilest I am standing before God and singinge forth his praise Woe be to me how comes my hart to be so hardned that myne eyes cannot incessantly bring forth whole floods of tears whilest the slaue is speaking before his Lord Man with God the. Creature with the Creator he who is made of durte with him who made all things of nothing Beholde O Lord how I place my selfe before thee that which I conceiue of
to inhabite and to illuminate it and that for euer Nor can I finde what I may more fittly call this heauen of the heauens to our Lord then that howse of thine which is contemplateinge thy delighte without any defect at all and without the least inclination to departe from that to any other that pure minde most intirely one that establishemēt of those blessed spirits in the foundation of peace in those heauens aboue which are yet aboue these heauens which we see Hereby my soule whose pilgrimage is so far of from thee may vnderstande if now it thirst affer thee if now her teares are not made her bread if now she desire that one thinge and begg it agayne and agayne that she may inhabite thy howse all the days of her life And what is the life of that howse but thou thy selfe and what are the dayes therof but thy eternity as thy years are which neuer faile Let therfore the soule vnderstand here as well as it can how sublymely thou art Eternall before all tymes since that howse of thyne which neuer wandred from thee although it be not coeternall with thee yet by reason that it adheareth to thee without any failing or euer faintinge vndergoeth noe variety of tyme but sucking vp thee her immutability with a perpetuall perseuering purity of minde she doth at no tyme and in noe place depart from thee to whom she cleaues with vnseparable loue to whom thou art euer present And so haueing no future which it may expecte nor any transitory thing passing by which it may remember it is not varied to and fro by turnes nor extended into future tymes CHAP. XX. Here man prayeth that the said spirituall howse of God may pray for him O Thou bright and beautifull howse of God I haue loued thy comelynesse and the place of the habitation of the glory of my Lord God who did both build thee and doth possesse thee Lett this pilgrimage of myne send sighes to thee day and night lett my hart pant towards thee lett my minde thinke on thee and lett my soule desire to attayne to the Society of thy beatitude I say to him who made thee that he would possesse me in thee for it is he who made both thee me Or rather doe thou desire and beseeche of him that he will make me worthy of the participation of thy glory For I doe not challenge thy holy Society nor thy admirable beauty by any meritt of mine but I despaire not to obteine it by the Blood of him who redeemed me Onely let thy meritts help me let thy most holy and most pure Prayers which cannot but be effectuall with Almighty God succour my sinfulnesse I confesse that I haue wandred like a lost sheepe and my habitation here is prolonged and I am cast farr of from the face of my Lord God into this blindenesse of banishment where being driuen from the ioyes of Paradise I am dayly lamentinge with my selfe the miseryes of my captiuity and I singe a mornefull songe and I make huge lamentations when I remember thee O Ierusalem who art my mother whilest I finde my feete standinge in thy outward Courts O thou faire and holy Sion but am not able so much as to looke into those interior parts of that Temple But yet I hope that I shall once be brought into thee vpon his shoulders who is my Pastor and who was thy builder that I may triumphe with thee in that inspeakable ioy wherewith they reioyce who stand with thee before God our Sauiour himselfe who discharged our enmytyes in his flesh and who pacifyed all things which are both in Heauen and in earth by his blood For he is our peace who made both to become one and who ioyned in himselfe those two walls which went by contrary ways Ordeyninge thy permanent felicity and promissing that he would giue himselfe to vs accordinge to the same measure sayinge And they shal be equall to the Angells of God in Heauen O Ierusalem thou eternall house of God be thou after the charity of Christe our Lord my ioy and my comfort and let the sweet memory of thy blessed Name be a solace to my sorowes and heauinesse of hart CHAP. XXI How full of biternesse this life of ours is O Lord I am extreamely weary of this life and of this woefull pilgrimage This life this miserable life fraile life vncertaine life laborious life vncleane life Life which is the lady of wicked men the queene of proude men full of miseryes and errours which deserues not to be call'd a life but a death since we are dying in euery moment by diuers kinds of death through the seuerall miseryes and changes which we are subiect too Doth therfore this which we liue in this world deserue to be called life when humors make vs swell and greife extenuates and vnnaturall heat dryes vp and impressions of the ayre infect Meat maketh fatt fasting maketh leane mirth makes dissolute sorrowes consume care straitneth security makes dull Riches puffs vs vp pouerty casts vs downe youth extolls vs and old age makes vs stoope sicknes breakes sorrow oppresses vs. And to all these miseryes furious death succeeds and at a clapp doth so impose an end vpon this miserable life that as soone as it hath left to be it is scare beleeued that euer it was This vitall death and this mortall life although it be all sprinckled with these and many other bitter miseryes alas alas it doth yet take very many by the inticeinge pleasures therof and it deceiues them by the false promisses which it makes And although of it selfe it be so very biting so bitter as that it cannot be concealed from her blinde louers yet are there an infinite nomber of fooles in the world whome she intertaynes inebriates with the golden chalice which she hath in her hand Happy are they but they are to fewe who refuse her familiarity who dispise her sleight entertaniements and ioys who forsake all society with her lest they be forced to perish together with her who deceiued them CHAP. XXII Of the felicity of that life which our Lord hath prepared for them that loue him O Thou life which our Lord hath prepared for them who loue him O thou vitall life happy life quiett life secure life beautifull life pure life chaste life holie life life which knowes not what belongs to death which knowes not what belongs to sorrow life without spott without greife without anxiety without any perturbation without corruptiō without variety and mutation life toppfull of all excellency and dignity where there is noe aduersary to impugne vs noe inticeinge baite of sinn to allure vs where there is perfect loue noe feare an euerlastinge day and one spiritt of vs all where God is seene face to face where the soule is full fedd with this food of life without all defect I am resolued to looke earnesly towards thy light Thy felicity
with thy finger in my hart the sweete memory of thy mellifluous Name which may neuer be blotted out againe Write thy will and thy lawe in the tables of my hart that I may haue both thy lawe and thy selfe O Lord of immense sweetnes at all tymes and places before myne eyes Burne vp my mynde with that fire of thyne which thou did'st send into the world and did'st desire that it might be much kindled that I may daily offer to thee abundance of tears the sacrifice of a troubled spirit and contrite hart O sweete Christe O deer Iesus as I desire and as with my whole hart I craue so giue me thy holy and chaste loue which may replenish and take and possesse me wholy And giue me that euident signe of thy loue a springing fountayne of tears which continually may flowe that my tears themselues may witnes thy loue to me and they may discouer and declare how deerly my soule loueth thee whilest through the excessiue sweetnes of that loue it cannot conteyne it selfe from tears I remember deare Lord that good woeman Anna who came to the Tabernacle to begg a sonne of thee of whome the Scripture saith that after her tears and prayers her countenance was cast no longer towardes seuerall things But whilest I call to mind her so great vertue and constancy I am racked with greife and confounded with shame because I finde my selfe too miserablie cast downe towards vanity But if she wept so bitterly and did so perseuer in weepinge who onely desired to haue a sonne how ought my soule to lament and continue in lamentation which seekes and loues God and earnesty desires to get home to him How ought such a soule lament and weepe who seeketh God day and night and is resolued to loue nothinge but Christ our Lord It is no lesse then a wōder if such a persons teares become not his bread day and night Looke back therefore and take pitty on me for the sorrowes of my hart are multiplyed Giue me of thy celestiall contemplation and despise not this sinfull soule for which thou dyedst Giue me I beseeche thee internall teares which may springe from the most secret corner of my hart whereby the chaines of my sinns may be broken and lett them euer fill my soule with celestiall ioy that I may obteyne some little portion in thy Kingdome if not in the Society of those true and perfect Moncks whose stepps I am not able to followe yet at least with deuout woeman I doe also call to minde the admirable deuotion of another woemā who sought thee with tender loue whē thou wert layd in the Sepulcher Who retired not from the sepulcher when the Disciples retired who satt downe there all afflicted and wounded she wept there long and much and riseing vp with many tears she did agayne and agayne play as it were the spy with her watchfull eyes vpon that solitary place to see if perhapps she might be able to finde thee any where whom she sought with such ardour of desire She had already entered into the sepulcher once and agayne but that which in it selfe seemes too much seemes not enough to one that loues The vertue of a good worke is perseuerance and because she loued thee beyond the rest and loueing wept and weeping sought and seeking perseuered therefore did she deserue to be the first of all others to finde the out and to speake with thee And not onely that but she was the first proclamer of thy glorious Resurrection to thy Disciples thy selfe thus directing and sweetly commaunding that it should be so Goe and will my brethren that they pass on into Gallile they shall see me there But now if that woeman wept and continued in weepinge who sought the liueing amongst the dead and who touched thee but with the hand of Faith how ought my soule to lamente and persiste in lamentation which beleeueth with the hart and confesseth with the mouth that thou art her redeemer praesiding now in heauen and regninge euery where How ought such a soule to lament and weepe which loues thee with her whole hart and couetts to see thee with her whole desire Thee who art the sole refuge and the onely hope of miserable creatures to whome one can neuer pray without hope of mercy Afford me this fauour I beseech thee for thyne owne sake for thy holy Name that as often as I thinke of thee speake of thee write of thee read of thee conferr of thee as often as I remember thee and am present with thee and offer praise and prayers and sacrifice to thee so often may I weepe abundantly and sweetely in thy presence that so my tears may be made my bread day and night Thou O King of glory and thou instructer of soules in all vertue haste taught vs both by doctrine and example that we are to lament and weepe sayinge Blessed are they who mourne for they shal be comforted Thou didest weepe ouer thy deceased freind and thou didest shedd abundant tears ouer that miserable Citty which was to perish And now O deare Iesus I beseech thee by those most pretious tears of thyne and by all those mercyes whereby thou didest vouchsafe so admirably to releyue vs wretched Creatures giue me the grace of tears which my soule doth greatly affect and couet For without thy guift I cannot haue it but be thou pleased to impart it to me by that holy Spirit of thyne which mollifyes the hard harts of sinners and giues them compunction to weepe as thou didest giue it to our Fathers whose footesteps I am to imitate that so I may lament my selfe duringe my whole life as they lamented themselues day and night And by theyr merits and prayers who pleased theo and did most deuoutly serue thee I beseeche thee take pitty vpon me thy most miserable and vnworthy seruant and grant me the grace of tears Grant me that superior kinde of irrigation or watering and that inferior also that my tears may be my bread day and night and that by the fire of sorrowe I may be made a fatt and marrowy Holocauste in thy sight O my God let me be all offerred vp vpon the altar of my hart and let me be receyued by thee as a most acceptable sacrifice to thee in the odour of sweetnes Grant me O most sweete Lord both a continuall and a cleere founteyne wherein this vncleane Holocauste may be cleansed For although I haue already offered my selfe to thee by thy fauour and grace yet in many things doe I offend dayly through my excessiue frailty Giue me therefore the grace of tears O blessed and amiable God through the greate sweetnes of thy loue and by the commemoration of thyne owne mercyes Prepare this table for thy seruant in thy sight putt it into my power that as often as I list I may be filled therewith Grant through thy pitty goodnes that this excellent and inebriating chalice may quench my thirste
I was washed in Baptisme hath tolerated nourished and expected me when I was all wrapped vp in the filth of other sinns Thou O my good Lord didst expect my amendement and my soule expecteth the inspiration of thy holy grace that I may come to pennance and goode life O my God my Creator my expecter and my feeder I thirst after thee I sigh towards thee and vehemently desir to attaine to thee And as the poore childe beinge depriued of the presence of his most benigne father doth incessantly weepe and cry out and imbrace by his memory that fathers face with his whole hart so I not so mueh as I should but so much as I can am mindefull of thy Passion mindfull of thy stroakes mindfull of thy stirpes mindfull of thy wounds mindfull how thou wert murthred for me how thou wert embalmed how thou wert buried and mindfull also of thy glorious Resurrection and admirable Ascension These things doe I hold fast with vndoubted faith I lament the miseries of my banishment I hope for the onely consolation of thy coming and I desire the glorious contemplation of thy face Woe be vnto me in that I was not able to behold that Lord of Angells being humbled to the conuersation of men to the end that he might exalt men to the conuersation of Angells when God being offended dyed that man who offended him might liue Vvoe be vnto me that I obteyned not to be amazed in being present at that spectacle of admirable and inestimable piety Vvhy why at least O my soule doth not the sword of most sharp sorrow pearce thy hart since thou wert not able to haue endured that launce which wounded the side of thy Sauiour since thou couldest not behold those hands and feete of thy Creator to be so violated with nayles and the bloode of thy Reddeemer so hydeously to be shedd Vvhy at least art not thou inebriated with the bitternes of tears since he drunck the bitternes of gall Why art thou not in compassion of that most holy Virgin his most worthy Mother my most worthy Lady O my most mercifull Lady what fountaynes shall I say they were which brake out of thy most chaste eyes when thou didest obserue how thy onely innocent Sonne was bound and scourged and slaine in thy presence Vvhat tears shall I beleeue did bedewe and bathe thy most sweet holy Face when thou didest behold that Sonne of thyne who was also thy God thy Lord extended vpon the Crosse without any falt of his and that flesh which was of thyne owne flesh to be so wickedly torne by wretched people wiih what kinde of sobbing sighes shall I conceaue thy most pure hart to haue beene torne when thou heardest those words Woeman beholde thy Sonne and the Disciple Vvoeman beholde thy Mother when thou tookest the Disciple for the Master and the seruant for the Lord. O that I had beene the man who tooke downe my Lord from the Crosse with that happy Ioseph That I had embalmed him with odours That I had Lodged him in the sepulchre or at least that I had followed him and had obteyned so much that to so great a funerall as that some little parte of my obsequiousnesse had not beene wantinge O that with those happy woeman I had beene frighted by that bright vision of those Angells and had heard that message of the Resurrection of our Lord That message of my comfort That message so much expected and desired O that I had heard these words from the mouth of the Angell Doe not feare you seeke Iesus crucifyed but he is risen he is not here O thou most meeke most benigne most sweete and most excellent Lord when wilt thou giue me a sight of thee for yet I neuer sawe thât incorruption of thy blessed body I neuer kissed those places of thy wounds that pearcinge of the nayles I neuer bathed those ouuertures of thy true thy admirable thy inestimable and incomparable Flesh and Blood with the tears of ioy When wilt thou comfort me and when wilt thou giue me cause to conteyne this sorrow of mine For indeed this sorrow will not end in me as long as I shall be in pilgrimage frō my Lord. Vvoe be to me O Lord woe be to my soule for thou who art the comforter therof didest goe thy wayes out of this world without so much as biddeing me farewell When thou didest putt thy selfe vpon those new wayes of thyne thou gauest thy blessing to thy seruants but I was not there Thou wert carried vp to heauen in a cloude but I saw it not The Angells promised that thou wouldest returne but I heard them not Vvhat shall I say what shall I doe whither shall I goe where shall I seeke him when shall I finde him Vvhome shall I aske Vvho will declare to my beloued that I languish for loue The ioy of my hart is gone My mirth is changed into sorrow My very flesh and my hart haue fainted O thou God of my hart and my part God who art my portion for euer My soule hath refused to be comforted vnlesse it be by thee my true sweetenes For what haue I to care for in heauen but thee and what haue I desired on earth but thee It is thou whō I desire for whom I hope and whom I seeke To thee my hart doth say I will seeke thy countenance and I will seeke it yet agayne O turne thou not thy face from me O thou most benigne louer of mankinde to thee the poore creature is lefte thou art the helper of the Orphan O thou my safe Aduocate haue mercy on me who am a forsaken Orphan I am left as a pupill wihout a father my soule is as solitary as a Vvidowe Behold the tears of my desolation and widowehoode which I offer thee till such tyme as thou shalt returne Come therefore Lord come now appeare to me and I shal be comforted Afford me thy presence and I shall haue obteyned my desire Reueale thy glory and I shall be in perfect ioy My soule hath thirsted towards thee O how abundantly doth my very flesh thirst after thee My soule hath thirsted towards God who is the liueinge fountayne When shall I come and appeare before the Face of our Lord When wilt thou come O my comforter whome I will expect O that I might be sure to see that ioy which I desire O that I might be satiated when thy glory shall appeare of which I haue so great hunger O that I might be inebriated by that springinge plenty of thy house towards which I sighe O that thou wouldest giue me to drinke deepely of the torrent of thy pleasure which I thirst after O Lord let my tears in the meane whyle be my bread day and night till such tyme as it may be said to me Behold thy God till my soule may hear this word Beholde thy Spouse Feed me in the meane tyme with my sighes refresh me with my sorrowes Perhapps my Redeemer
the whole Earth For what is Man that thou shouldest magnify him or soe apply thy harte towards the loue of him For thou O auncient Truth hast sayd My delight is to be which the Sonnes of men But yet is not Man rotennes and the Sonne of Man a very Worme Is not euery Man liueing a kinde of vniuersality of vanity And yet dost thou thinke it worthy for thee to cast thyne eyes vpon him and to bring him with thee into Iudgement CHAP. XXVIII Of the profound Predestination and prescience of God TEach mee O thou most profound Abysse O thou Wisedome which art the Creatrix of all things which hast poysed the mountaines in weight and the lesser hills in a ballance and hast hung vp the whole bulke of the Earth in three fingers Suspend thou towards thy selfe the weight of this corporall heauines which I carry about mee in thy three inuisible fingers that I may see and knowe how admirable thy Name is ouer the whole Earth O thou Light most auntient which didest shine before all other light in those holy hills of old Eternity to which all things were open and cleare euen before they were made O thou light which hatest euery litle spott thy selfe being most immaculate and most pure what delight canst thou take in man and what agreement cann there be betweene light and darkenes For where in fine is the ground of those delights which thou takest in man Or how diddest thou prepare in mee a sanctuary worthy of thy Maiestie into which when thou enterest thou mayest take delight and gust For it is fitt that thou who art the very power which cleanseth all things shouldest haue a cleane roome to be in thou who canst not be so much as seene and much lesse possessed but by pure soules But where is this Temple soe pure in any man as that it may be fitt for the reception of thee who rulest the whole world of men Who can make a man cleane he being conceiued of vncleane seede Is it not thou who art onely cleane For who can be cleansed by one who is himselfe vncleane For according to the Lawe which thou gauest to our Fathers in the fyre which burned the hill and in the cloud which couered the darke water we are told that whatsoeuer an vncleane man did touch should be vncleane But all wee are as a menstruous cloath proceeding out of an impure corrupted masse and wee cannot become cleane vnles wee be cleansed by thee who art onely cleane And wee carry the marke of our impurity in our very fore-heads and are farre from being able to conceale it from thee who seest all things Soe that wee can neuer be cleane vnles wee be cleansed by thee who art onely cleane But amongst vs who are the sonnes of men thou cleansest some in whome thou hast bene pleased to dwell Whome out of the inaccessible profound secrets of the incomprehensible iudgements of thy Wisedome which are euer iust though secret thou hast beene pleased to predestinate without any merits of theyrs before the world was made and hast called them out of the world and hast iustefyed them in the world and wilt magnify them after the world But thou dost not this to all which all the wise men of the earth doe wonder at euen to amasement And I also O Lord whilest I consider this doe all tremble and am astonished at the altitude of the riches of thy Wisedome and knowledge and at the incomprehensible iudgements of thy Iustice to the reason whereof I cann noe way arriue Since out of the same clay thou designest some vessells to honour others to eternall reproach Such therefore as thy chusest out of many to be a holy Temple for thy selfe them doest thou clense powreing out pure water vpon them whose names and number thou knowest who alone dost number the multitude of the starres and callest them all by they re names who are also written in the booke of life and cann noe way perish to whome all things yea euen they re very sinnes themselues doe cooperate towards they re good For when they fall they are not bruised because thou doest putt thy hand vnder them keeping all they re bones in such sorte that noe one of them may be broken But the death of sinners is most pernitious of those I meane whome before thou madest heauen and earth thou diddest according to the most profound Abysse of thy iudgements secret indeede but euer iust fore knowe to eternall death The number of whose names as also of they re foule demerits is with thee who hast numbered the sands of the Sea and hast measured the bottome of the Abysse whome thou hast left in they re vncleanenes in whome all things cooperate to theyr ill yea euen they re very prayer is turned into sinne Soe farre forth as that although they should mount vp as high as the skye and they re heades should touch the very clouds and should build theyr nest amongst the Starres of Heauen they yet shall perish in the end like a very dung hill CHAP. XXIX Of them who first were iust and afterwards become wicked GReate are these iudgements of thyne O Lord my God O thou iust and powerfull Iudge who iudgest according to equitie and dost worke and performe inscrutable things Which when I consider all my bones doe euen shiuer with trembling because noe man liueing vpon the earth can be secure But wee must learne hereby to serue thee piously and purely all the dayes of our life exulting to thee with reuerence and that wee may not serue thee without feare nor reioyce without trembling And that neyther he who is girt nor vngirt nor in fine any creature of flesh and blood may glory but may be full of apprehension horrour before thy face since noe man knoweth whether he be worthy of loue or hate but all things are reserued in vncertainty for the future tyme. For we haue seene many O Lord and wee haue also heard it from our elders which certeinly I cannot call to mynde without much trembling nor repeate without much feare who at the first ascended after a sorte vp to heauen and did place they re nest euen amongst the starrs yet afterwards fell downe to the very Abysse and theyr soules grewe to be euen stupifyed in sinne Wee haue seene starres fall downe from heauen through the force of the Dragons tayle who strooke them And others who lay prostrate vpon the dust of the earth haue ascended vp by the helpe of thy hand which raised them after an admirable manner We haue seene liueing men dy dead men raise againe to life and them who walked amongst the sonnes of God in the midest of those shineing stones of his Temple to haue mouldered away into nothing like soe much durt Wee haue seene light growe darke and againe wee haue seene light proceede out of darkenes because the Publicanes and harlots haue precedence of the naturall inhabitants in
and where that fountayne of life is and that inaccessible light and that peace of God which passeth all vnderstanding There doe wee adore and belieue thee O Iesus Christ to be true God and man confessing that thou hast God for thy Father and that from heauen wee expect thee to come as Iudge in the end of the world to iudge the quicke and the dead that thou mayest render eyther reward or punishment to all men eyther good or badd according to those workes which they shall haue wrought in this life that soe they may be eyther in rest or eternall misery For all those creatures who haue receiued a humane soule into that flesh which here they haue carryed about them shall rise at that day in the voyce of thy strength to the end that the whole man may receyue eyther glory or torments according to his merits Thou art that life and resurrection it selfe whom wee expect to be our Sauiour Iesus Christ our Lord who will reforme this poore meane body of ours by conformeing it to the body of his clarity I haue knowen thee also to be true God O thou one holy Spirit of the Father and the Sonne proceding iointly from them both to be consubstantiall and eternall with the Father and the Sonne to be our Paraclete and Aduocate who diddest also descend in the shape of a doue vpon the same God Iesus Christ our Lord and diddest appeare vpon the Apostles in tongues of fyre who also from the beginning hast taught all the elect Saints of God by the gifte of thy grace and hast opened the mouth of the Prophets that they might relate wounderful things of the Kingdome of God who together with the Father the Sonne art adored and glorifyed by all the Saints of God Amongst whome I also who am the sonne of thy handmayd doe glorify thy name with my whole harte because thou hast illuminated mee For thou art that reall light that light which tells vs truth the fyre of God the Doctour of soules the very Spirit of Truth which teacheth vs all truth by thy vnction without which it is impossible for vs to please God For thou thy self art God of God and light of light proceeding from the Father of lights and from his Sonne our Lord Iesus Christ after an ineffable manner with whome thou being coequall and coeternall art glorifyed and dost raigne ioyntly with them superessentially in the essence of the same Trinity I haue knowen thee my one liueing and true God the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghost three in persons but one in essence whome I confesse adore and glorify with my whole harte as my onely true Holy immortall inuisible vnchaungeable and vnscrutable God that one Light one Sunne one bread one Life one Good one Beginning one End one Creatour of heauen and earth by whome all things liue by whome all things subsist by whome all things are gouuerned ordered and quickened which are in heauē on the earth and vnder the earth and besides whome there is noe God either in heauen or in earth I haue knowen thee by thy faith wherewith thou hast inspired mee O thou my light and the sight of myne eyes O Lord my God the hope of all the ends of the earth the Ioy which doth recreat my youth and the good which strēgtheneth my age For in thee O Lord do all my bones excessiuely reioyce and say O Lord who is like to thee Who amongst the Gods is like thee O Lord. Not they who are made by the hands of men but thou by whome the hands of men are made The Idolls of the Gentiles are gold and siluer the worke of mens hands But soe is not the maker of men All the Gods of the nations are Deuills but our Lord made the heauens and this Lord is God As for those Gods who made not heauen and earth let them perish both from heauen and earth But let heauen and earth blesse that God who made heauen and earth CHAP. XXXIII Of the Confession of our owne basenes WHo O Lord is like thee among the Gods Who is like thee O thou who art magnificent in thy sanctity who art terrible laudable and doeing wonderfull things Too late I come to knowe thee O thou true light too late am I come to knowe thee But there was a greate and darke cloude before these vayne eyes of myne soe that I could not see the sunne of Iustice and the light of truth I was wrapped vp in darkenes my selfe being the childe of darkenes and this darkenes of myne I loued because I did not knowe the light I was blinde and I loued blindenes and by darkenes I walked on to further darkenes Who brought me out from thence where I blinde creature was sitting in darkenes and in the shadow of death who tooke mee by the hand and led me out VVho was he that did illuminate mee I sought not him but he sought me I called not vpon him and he cryed out vpon mee But who is he that did all this It is thou O Lord my God the Father of mercyes and the God of all consolations it is thou O holy Lord and my God whome I confesse with my whole harte giueinge thankes to thy Name I sought not thee but I was sought by thee I inuoked not thee and thou calledest mee Thou calledst mee by thine owne Name thou diddest thunder thus downe into the inward eare of my harte with this mighty voyce Let Light be made and light was made and that greate cloud flew away that darke thicke cloud was dissolued which had closed vp myne eyes And I sawe thy light and I knew thy voyce and I sayd O Lord that thou indeed art my God Who hast drawen mee out of darkenes and out of the shadow of death and thou hast called me into thy admireable light and behold I see Thankes be giuē to thee O thou who art the Illuminator of my soule And I looked backe and sawe the darkenes wherein I had bene and that profound blacke pitt wherein I had lyen and I did all quake and shiuer and I said Woe woe be to that darkenes wherein I lay Woe woe be to that blindenes wherin I was not able to see the light of heauen VVoe woe to that former ignorance of myne when I had noe knowldege of thee O Lord. But I giue thee thanks O thou my illuminator and deliuerer because thou hast illuminated mee and I haue knowen thee Yet still I am come too late to knowe thee O thou antient Truth too late I am come to knowe thee O thou eternall Truth Thou wert in the light and I in darkenes and I knew thee not because I could not be illuminated without thee nor indeede without thee is there any light at all CHAP. XXXIV A consideration of the diuine Maiestie O Thou holy of holyes thou God of inestimable Maiestie the God of God and the Lord of Lords who art admirable inexplicable
and vnconceiuable before whome the Angelicall power of heauen doe euen shiuer whome the Thrones and Dominations doe adore and in whose presence all the Vertues of Heauen doe euen quake of whose power and Wisedome there is noe number who hast layd the foundations of the whole world vpon nothing who hast tyed vp the Sea as if it were in some skinne who art most Omnipotent most Holy and the most powerfull God ouer all the spirits of all mankinde From whose sight the heauen and earth doe fly away to whose becke all the elements are subiect let all thy creatures adore and glorify thy Name And I the Sonne of thy handmayd doe by faith bowe downe the necke of my harte vnder the feete of thy Maiestie presenting thee with thankes for that thou hast voutchsafed to illuminate mee by thy mercy True Light holy Light delightfull Light admirable Light superlaudable Light which illuminateth euery man comeing into this world and the eyes also of the Angels Behold now I see and I thanke thee for it Behold I see the light of heauen there is a beame which striketh brightly downe from the face of thy light vpon the eyes of my mynde and it filleth all the powers of my soule with ioy But O that once it might be perfected in mee Encrease I beseech thee O thou author of light encrease I beseech thee that which soe brightly striketh through vpon mee Let this light be dilated I beseech thee let it be dilated by thee What is this which I feele what fyre is this which heates any harte what fyre is this whereby my harte is stroken through with beames O fyre which euer burnest and art neuer quenched doe thou kindle mee O light which doest euer shine and art neuer darkened doe thou enlighten mee O how very fayne would I been flamed by thee O Holy fyre how sweetely doest thou heate how secretly doest thou shine and how delightfully dost thou burne Woe be to them who doe not burne by thee VVoe be to them which are not illuminated by thee O thou light which teachest truth to men illuminating all the world which is filled by the beames thereof VVoe be to those blinde eyes which see not thee thou being the sunne illuminating both heauen and earth VVoe be to those weake and daseling eyes which cannot looke on thee VVoe be to those eyes which turne themselues away from seeing truth and woe be to those eyes which doe not turne them selues away for feare least they behold vanity For eyes which are acustomed to darkenes haue not strength wherewith to behold the beames of soueraigne truth nor can they make any true iudgment of light whose habitation is wont to be in darkenes They see darkenes they allow of darkenes they loue darkenes and soe goeing from darkenes to darkenes they fall headlong and they knowe not where Miserable creatures they are who knowe not what they loose though yet more miserable are they who knowe what they loose and who yet fall with open eyes and dropp downe quicke into Hell O most blessed light which canst not be beheld but by eyes which are pure and wholly purged Blessed are the pure of harte for they shall see God Doe thou clense mee O thou clensing power cure my sight that I may contemplate thee with strong eyes For they are none but strong eyes which can looke on thee Putt away I beseech thee O thou inaccessible splendour the skales of that auntient mistynes by the beame of thy illumination that soe I may be able to looke on thee with certayne casts of my eye which may not be checked and beaten back and that I may see light in thy light I giue thee thankes O my light for behold now I see I beseech thee O Lord that it may be spred abroade by thee Vnuayle myne eyes that I may consider the wonderfull things of thy lawe thou who art wonderfull in thy Saints I giue thee thankes O my light for behold I see though as yet it be but by a representation as in a glasse But when will it be face to face when will that day of ioy and exultation arryue when I may enter into the place of that admireable Tabernacle the very house of God that so face to face I may see him who seeth mee and so my desire may be fullfilled CHAP. XXXV Of the desire and thirst of a soule towards God AS the harte desireth the fountaynes of water soe doth my soule thirst after thee O God My soule hath thirsted after thee O God who art the liueing fountayne when shall I come and appeare before thy face O thou fountayne of life thou vayne of liueing waters when shall I arriue to those waters of thy sweetnes from this barren vnhaunted and dry earth that I may see thy power and thy glory and that I may appease my thirst by the waters of thy mercy I thirst O Lord O thou fountayne of life satisfy mee for I thirst O Lord I thirst towards thee who art the liueing God When O Lord shall I approache and appeare before that face of thyne doest thou thinke that at length I shall see that day that day I say of delight and ioy that day which our Lord hath made to the end that wee may reioyce and exult therein O sweete and beautifull day which hath noe euening and whose Sunne hath nothing to doe with setting wherein I shall heare the voyce of prayse the voyce of exultation and confession wherein I shall heare this word Enter into the ioy of thy Lord enter into eternall ioy into the house of thy Lord and thy God where there are greate and vnsearcheable and wounderfull things whereof there is noe number Enter into ioy without sorrow which containeth eternall ioy where all good shall be without any kind of euill Where whatsoeuer thou wilt haue shall be and where nothing shall be which thou wilt not haue Where there will be a life which is vitall sweete amiable and eternall Where there will be noe enemy assaulting nor noe false delight allureing but a supreame and certayn security secure tranquillity a quiet ioy a ioyfull felicity a happy eternity and eternall beatitude a blessed Trinity a Trine Vnity a sole Deity a happy vision of that Deity which is the ioy of thy Lord and thy God O ioy vpon ioy ioy which excelleth all ioy without which there is noe ioy when shall I enter into thee that I may see my God who dwelleth in thee that soe I may there partake of this greate vision What is it which deteyneth mee VVoe be vnto mee because my habitation here is perlonged VVoe be vnto mee and how long shall it be sayd to mee where is thy God How long shall it be sayd to me Expect and reexpect But now what shall I expect Is it not thee O Lord my God VVee expect a Sauiour our Lord Iesus Christ who will reforme this poore meane body of ours and conforme it to
the one and indiuiduall essence of the supreme Trinity For to see the face of the liueing God is to possesse the soueraigne good It is the ioy of the Angells and of all the Saints the reward of eternall life the glory of spirites the eternall Ioy the crowne of beauty the prize of felicity the rich repose the beauty of peace the internall and externall Ioy the celestiall Ierusalem the Paradise of God the happy life the fullnes of felicity the delight of eternity the peace of God which passeth all vnderstanding This is that full beatitude and that totall glorification of man to see the face of his God to see him who made heauen and earth to see God who made him who saued him and who glorifyed him He shall see him by knoweing him he shall apply himselfe to him by loueing hym and he shall praise him by possessing him For he is the inheritance of his people of the people of Saints of the people which he redeemed He is the possession of they re felicity he is the reward recompence of they re expectation I will sayth he be a great and excessiue reward to thee For great things become great persons Indeed O Lord my God thou art excessiuely great beyond all Gods and thy reward is excessiuely greate For it cannot be true that thy self should be great and thy reward litle but as thou art great so thy reward is great for thy reward and thy self are not two seuerall things But thou thy self artexcessiuely great and thou thy self art that reward which is soe excessiuely great Thou thy self art he who crowneth vs who art the crowne thou thy self art he who maketh the promise and who art that very promise it selfe Thou art he who bestowest the guift and who art the guift it self Thou thy self art the rewarder and thou art the reward of eternall felicity Thou art therefore he who crowneth and thou O my God art the crowne and diademe of my hope which is ad orned with glory Thou art that recreatiue brightnes that reuiuing light that gracefull beauty thou art my great hope the desire of the harte of thy Saints and desired by them Thy vision therefore is the totall pay the totall reward the totall Ioy which wee expect For this is eternall life this I say is thy wisedome This is eternall life that wee may knowe thee onely true God and Iesus Christ whome thou hast sent VVhen therefore wee shall see thee the only God the true God the God liuing Omnipotent simple inuisible incomprehensible not to be circumcribed and thy onely begotten Sonne Iesus Christ our Lord who is consubstantiall and coeternall with thee whome thou hast sent into the world for our saluation in the vertue and power of the Holy Ghost they being Trine in persons and one in essence one onely Holy God besides whome there is noe God Then wee shall enioy what now wee seeke which is eternall life and euerlasting glory which thou preparest for them who loue thee and hidest vp for them who feare thee and wilt impart to them who seeke thee them who seeke thy face for euer And thou O Lord my God who framedst mee in the wombe of my mother who recommended mee ouer to thy hand do not permit mee any longer to be distracted into many thinges from thee who art one But gather mee vp from exteriour obiects into my self and then take mee from my self into thee that my hart may be euer saying to thee my face hath sougt thee O Lord I will seeke thy face The face of our Lord power wherein alone of the totall eternall glory of blessed soules doth consist the vision whereof is the eternall life euerlasting glory of the SS t s Let therefore my hart reioyce that it may feare thy name let the hart of such as doe but euen seeke our Lord reioyce but much more let them reioyce who finde him For if Ioy be taken in the search of him what ioy will that be which is felt in findeing him Therfore I will be euer seeking thy face ardently and without giueing ouer to see if once at length that doore and gate of Iustice may perhaps bee opened vnto mee that I may enter into the Ioy of my Lord. This is the gate of our Lord and the Iust shall enter into it CHAP. XXXVII A prayer to the blessed Trinity O You three coequall and coeternall persons who are one true God the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghost thou who alone dwellest in eternity and inaccessible light Who hast layd the foundations of the earth with thy power and who gouernest the world with thy wisedome Holy Holy Holy Lord God of Sabaoth terrible and powerfull Iust and mercifull admireable laudable and amiable One God three persons one essence power wisedome one onely vndeuided Trinity Open thou the gates of Iustice to mee who am crying out after them and being once entered by them I will confesse to thee O Lord. Behold I who am a poore begger doe knocke at thy doore O thou who art the soueraigne Master of the house command that it may be opened to me thou who say dest knocke and it shall be opened to you For the desires of my bowells which do euen roare againe and the cryes of the teares of myne eyes are they who knocke at thy gate O most mercifull Father Before thee is my whole desire and my groanes are not hidden from thee And thou O Lord turne thy face noe longer away from mee and decline not in thy wrath from thy seruaunt O thou Father of mercyes hearken to the loud crye of thy poore childe and reach forth thy best helping hand that it may drawe me out of the profound pitts of water and out of the lake of misery and out of the durt and dregs that I may not perish whilest the mercy of thyne eyes is beholding mee and the charity of thy bowells is lookeing on But enable mee to escape to thee who art my Lord and my God that I may see the riches of thy kingdome and may behold thy face for euer and may sing prayse to thy holy name O Lord thou who workest wonderfull things thou who makest my hart ioyfull by the memory of thee and who illuminatest my youth doe not despise my old age but fill my bones full of ioy and renew my grey heires as that of an eagle is renued All glory all prayse all strength all power all magnificence all beatitude all mercy be ascribed to God the Father and the Sonne and the Holy Ghost Amen The end of the Soliloquia Deo gratias THE MANVALL OF S. AVGVSTINE THE FIRST CHAPTER Of the wonderfull essence of God THov O Lord dost fill heauen earth carrying all things and yet they are no burthen to thee Thou fillest all thinges without being shut vp by them Thou art euer working yet euer quiet gathering togeather yet thou needest nothing seeking yet wanting nothing louing yet
all reuerence and deuotion and which thou O Lord our God our Priest didst immaculately institute and didst commaund to be offered vp in commemoration of thy charity that is of thy death and passion for our saluation and for the dayly reparation of our frailty Let my mind be confirmed whilest I am in the midst of those so great misteryes by the sweetnes of thy presence Let it find that thou art there at hand and let it reioyce before thee O thou fire which euer flamest O thou loue which euer burnest sweet Christ deere Iesus thou eternall and neuer fayling light thou foode of life which dost refresh vs and yet dost neuer diminish in thy selfe who art dayly eaten and yet dost euer remaine entiere shine thou vpon me kindle me illuminate and sanctify this vessell which is thine owne Make it empty of malice replenish it with grace and when it is once full keep it so that I may receaue this food of thy flesh to the saluation of my soule and that by feeding on thee I may liue of thee and by thee that so I may arriue to thee and repose in thee CHAP. XII Of spirituall ioy O Thou sweetnes of loue and thou loue of sweetnes let my stomacke feed on thee let euen my bowels be all filled with the Nectar of thy loue and let my mind vtter that good word O charity O my God thou hunny which is so sweet thou milke which is so white Thou art the food of strong persons make me increase towards thee that so I may feed vpon thee and tast thee withth epalate not of a sick but of a sound person Thou art the life by which I liue the hope to which I doe adhere and the glory which I desire to obtaine Hold thou fast my hart rule my mind direct my vnderstanding erect my loue suspend my thoughts and draw the mouth of this spirit which thirsteth after thee into those liuing streames of celestiall running waters I beseech thee impose silence vpon these tumultuous thoughts of flesh and bloud let these conceits of the earth of the waters and of the ayre and of these heauens which re we see hold their peace Let all visions reuelations which are imprinted vpon the imagination be silent and euery tongue and sensible expression and what soeuer els which hath his complete beeing by passing on Let euen the soule be islent to it self and let it outstrip and exceed it selfe by not thinking of it selfe but only of thee O my God because thou in very deed art all my hope all my confidence For in thee O my God and my Lord in thee O most sweet O most amiable O most mercifull Christ Iesus there is a part of the flesh and bloud of euery one of vs. Now therefore where a part of me doth raigne there do I beleeue my self to raigne Where my bloud hath dominion there do I also confide my selfe to be in dominion where my flesh is glorifyed there doe I know my selfe to be glorious For howsoeuer I am a sinner yet I cannot despaire but that I shal be admitted to this communication of thy grace And although my iniquityes forbid me yet that substance of mine doth inuite me and although my sinnes do exclude me yet that participation of nature doth not suffer me to be reiected CHAP. XIII That the VVord Incarnate is the cause of our Hope FOr our Lord is not so an enemy as that he can forebeare to loue his owne flesh and the parts of his owne body his owne bowells I might iustly haue despayred by reason of my excessiue sinnes vices of those infinite negligences and faults which I haue commited and which I dayly do commit by thought word and deed and by all those meanes wherby the frailty of mans nature may sinne vnlesse the Vvord my God had become flesh and had dwelt amongst vs. But now I dare not despaire because he growing obedient to thee euen to the death and that the very death of the Crosse did take that hand-writing of our sins and nayling it to the same Crosse did crucify both sinne and death In him therefore doe I securely conceaue hope who sitteth at thy right hand and interceedes for vs. And confiding in him I trust I shall arriue to be with thee in whome we are risen and haue liued againe and haue ascēded vp to heauen and are remaining there To thee be praise glory honour thankesgiuing for euer CHAP. XIV How sweet a thing it is to thinke of God O Thou most mercifull Lord who didst so loue and saue vs who didst so quicken and exalt vs O most mercifull Lord how sweet is the memory of thee How much more I meditate on thee so much more art thou sweet amiable to me Therefore doth it delight me extremely to behold thy excellencyes with a pure sight of the mind and with a most sweet affection of pious loue according to the little power I haue in this place of my pilgrimage Where although I be apperrelled with a poore garment of flesh and bloud I do yet continually aspire to the consideration and desire of thy admirable amability and beauty For with the dart of thy charity am I wounded and I am all on a light fire of desire concerning thee I couet to arriue to thee and thee doe I desire to behold Therefore will I euer stand vpon my guard with vigilant eyes I will be singing in spirit and I will also sing with my vnderstanding with all my forces will I prayse thee who art both my Creatour and my Redeemer I will penetrate the heauens with my affectiō and I will so approch to thee with my desire that I may be held but onely in body by this present misery and all my thoughts and the greedines of my desire shal be euer vpon thee that so my hart may be where thou my treasure art who art so desirable so incomparable and so deerely amiable But behold O my most pittifull and most merciful God whilest I am applying my selfe to the consideratiō of thy immense goodnes and pitty my hart is not able to goe through with it For thy grace thy beauty thy vertue thy glory thy magnificence thy Maiesty and thy charity doth exceed all the powers of our mind And as the splendour of thy glory is inestimable so is the benignity of that eternal charity of thyne vnspeakable whereby thou hast adopted them for thy sonnes ioyned them close to thy selfe whom formerly thou hast created of nothing CHAP. XV. How much tribulation endured for Christ our Lord is to be desired O My soule if dayly we were to suffer torments yea and euen to endure the very paines of hell that for a long tyme together to the end that we might arriue to see Christ in his glory to be associated to his Saints would it not be fit for vs to beare all that affliction if therby we
might be thought fit to be made pertakers of so high a good and so great a glory Let therfore the deuills lye in wayte for vs let them prepare theyr temptations let fasting breake our bodyes let garments loade our flesh let labours weigh heauy vpon vs let watching drye vs let one man cry out vpon vs and let another man disquiet vs let cold contract vs let the conscience repine let heat burne vs let the head ake the breast be inflamed let the stomacke be swolne let the face growe pale and let the whole body be distempered let my yeares be spent in groaning yea let rottennes enter into my bones and multiply therin so that yet I may rest in that day of tribulation and may ascend to our elected people For how great wil that glory of iust persons be how great will be that ioy of the saints when euery one of their faces shal be resplendent like a Sunne When our Lord shall begin to muster vp his people by different ranks in the kingdome of his father shall assigne the promised rewards according to the workes and merit of euery one Celestiall rewards for workes which were performed heere on earth Great rewards for little workes eternall for such as were but temporall That indeed will be a whole huge heape of felicity when our Lord shall bring his Saints into the vision of his Fathers glory and shall place them vpon their seats in heauen that so he may be all in all CHAP. XVI How the kingdome of God may be obteyned O HAPPY sweetnes O delicious happines which it will be for vs to behold the Saints be with Saints and to be Saints to see God and to possesse him for all eternity and euen if it might be beyond eternity Let vs be continually thinking on these things let vs aspire to them with our whole desire that so we may speedily arriue to enioy them If thou aske how this may be done by what merits or by what helpes giue eare and I will tell thee This affaire is put into thine owne power for the kingdome of heauen suffereth violence The kingdome of heauen O man doth exact no price at thy hands but onely thy selfe So much is it worth as thou thy selfe art Giue thy selfe and thou shalt haue it Why art thou troubled about the price Christ our Lord did giue himself away that he might purchase thee to be a kingdome for his father and so do thou also giue thy selfe that thou maist become a kingdome for him that sinne may not raigne in thy mortall body but the Spirit in the renouation of life CHAP. XVII What a happy place Heauen is O My soule returne toward that heauenly Citty wherin we are written and enrold as Cittizens And as Cittizens amongst the Saints the houshold seruants of God and as the heires of God and coheires of Christ our Lord. Let vs consider that excellent felicity of this citty of ours to the very vttermost of what we are able Let vs therefore say with the Prophet O how glorious thinges are sayd of thee thou Citty of God the habitation which is made in thee is of them who are all full of ioy For thou art founded in the exultation of the whole earth No old age is in thee nor any misery which is wont to wayte vpon old age In thee there is no man lame of arme or legg nor crooked nor other wise deformed when once they meet together becoming perfect man in the measure of the age of the fulnesse of Christ What is more happy then such a life where there is no fear of pouerty nor no incommodity of sicknes where no man is offended no man is angry no man enuious no desire doth solicite vs there is no appetite of meate no man is importuned by thirsting after honour and power there is no feare of the Diuell or the craft of those infernall spirits all terrour of hell is farre off there is no death either of body or soule but a life which is made full of ioy by the guift of immortality In fine there is no kind of ill or discord but all thinges are full of agreement proportion for as much as the concord of all the Saints is intierely one all things are full of peace and ioy all things are quiet and serene An euerlasting splendor there is not like that of this Sunne of ours but another which is so much more bright at it is more blessed For that Citty as we read shall need neither Sūne nor Moone but our Lord omnipotent will illuminate it and the Lambe is the bright lampe therof Where the Saints shall shine like starres and they who instruct many others like the splendour of the firmament No night shal be therefore there no darknes no concourse of clowds no incommodity at all of heat or cold but such a temper of things there wil be as neither the eye hath seene nor the eare hath heard nor can it enter into the hart of any other mē but such as shal be thought worthy to enioy it Whose names are written in the booke of life But it exceedeth all these thinges to be associated to the Quires of Angells and Archangells to behold the Patriarkes and the Prophets to see the Apostles and all the Saints yea to see our owne parents friends These things indeed are glorious but yet still incomparably a more glorious thing it is to behold the present face of God to looke vpon that vnlimitted light of his A superexcellent glory it will be when we shall see God in himselfe we shall see we shall possesse him in our selues and of that sight there wil be no end CHAP. XVIII We cannot make any requitall to Almighty God but only by loue THE soule which is beautifyed by the Image and dignifyed by the ressemblance of God hath groūd inough within it selfe which is also imparted by the same God wherby she may be aduised to remain perpetually within him or at least to return towardes him if she chance to haue beene separated by her affection or rather by her defectes And not only hath she ground of solace in the hope which she may conceaue of pardon and mercy but yet further she may also presume to aspire euen to the marriage of the Word and to contract a league of friendship with God and togeather with that king of the Angells to be drawing in the same sweet yoake of loue Now all this is performed by the same loue if the soule do make it selfe like to God by her will as already she is like him by nature and if she loue him as she is beloued by him For only loue amongst all the motions passions feeling senses of the soule is the thing whereby a creature may answere the benefits of a Creatour and repay after a sort what it oweth though it be not in any equall manner Where loue entreth in it draweth captiueth all other