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A63784 A discourse of the nature, offices, and measures of friendship with rules of conducting it / written in answer to a letter from the most ingenious and vertuous M.K.P. by J.T. Taylor, Jeremy, 1613-1667.; Taylor, Jeremy, 1613-1667. Two letters written to persons newly changed in their religion. 1657 (1657) Wing T317; ESTC R27531 49,680 181

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voice but saw and perceived nothing of the sence and what you understood of it was like the man in the Gospel that was half blinde he saw men walking like Trees and so you possibly might perceive the meaning of it in generall You knew when they came to the Epistle when to the Gospel when the Introit when the Pax when any of the other more generall periods were but you could have nothing of the Spirit of prayer that is nothing of the devotion and the holy affections to the particular excellencies which could or ought there to have been represented but now you are taught how you may be really devout it is made facil and easie and there can want nothing but your consent and observation 2. Whereas now you are taken off from all humane confidences from relying wholly and almost ultimately upon the Priests power and external act from reckoning prayers by numbers from forms and out-sides you are not to think that the Priests power is less that the Sacraments are not effective that your prayers may not be repeated frequently but you are to remember that all outward things and Ceremonies all Sacraments and Institutions work their effect in the vertue of Christ by some morall Instrument The Priests in the Church of England can absolve you as much as the Romane Priests could fairly pretend but then we teach that you must first be a penitent and a returning person and our absolution does but manifest the work of God and comfort and instruct your Conscience direct and manage it You shall be absolved here but not unless you live a holy life So that in this you will finde no change but to the advantage of a strict life we will not flatter you and cozen your dear soul by pretended ministeries but we so order our discourses and directions that all our ministrations may be really effective and when you receive the holy Sacrament of the Eucharist or the Lords Supper it does more good here then they do there because if they consecrate ritely yet they do not communicate you fully and if they offer the whole representative Sacrifice yet they do not give you the whole Sacrament only we enjoyn that you come with so much holiness that the grace of God in your heart may be the principal and the Sacrament in our hands may be the ministring and assisting part we do not promise great effects to easie trifling dispositions because we would not deceive but really procure to you great effects and therefore you are now to come to our offices with the same expectations as before of pardon of grace of sanctification but you must do something more of the work your self that we may not do lesse in effect then you have in your expectation We will not to advance the reputation of our power deceive you into a less blessing 3. Be careful that you do not flatter your self that in our Communion you may have more ease and liberty of life for though I know your pious soule desires passionately to please God and to live religiously yet I ought to be careful to prevent a temptation lest it at any time should discompose your severity Therefore as to confession to a Priest which how it is usually practised amongst the Romane party your self can very well account and you have complain'd sadly that it is made an ordinary act easie and transient sometime matter of temptation often times impertinent but suppose it free from such scandal to which some mens folly did betray it yet the same severity you 'l finde among us for though we will not tell a lye to help a sinner and say that is necessary which is only appointed to make men do themselves good yet we advise and commend it and do all the work of souls to all those people that will be saved by all means to devout persons that make Religion the business of their lives and they that do not so in the Churches of the Roman Communion as they finde but little advantage by peridiocal confessions so they feel but little awfulness and severity by the injunction you must confess to God all your secret actions you must advise with a holy man in all the affairs of your soul you will be but an ill friend to your self if you conceal from him the state of your spiritual affairs We desire not to hear the circumstance of every sinne but when matter of justice is concerned or the nature of the sinne is changed that is when it ought to be made a Question and you will finde that though the Church of England gives you much liberty from the bondage of innumerable Ceremonies and humane devices yet in the matter of holiness you will be tied to very great service but such a service as is perfect freedom that is the service of God and the love of the holy Jesus and a very strict religious life for we do not promise heaven but upon the same terms it is promised us that is Repentance towards God and Faith in our Lord Iesus and as in faith we make no more to be necessary then what is made so in holy Scripture so in the matter of Repentance we give you no easie devices and suffer no lessening definitions of it but oblige you to that strictness which is the condition of being saved and so expressed to be by the infallible Word of God but such as in the Church of Rome they do not so much stand upon Madam I am weary of my Journey and although I did purpose to have spoken many things more yet I desire that my not doing it may be laid upon the account of my weariness all that I shall adde to the main businese is this 4. Reade the Scriptures diligently and with an humble spirit and in it observe what is plain and beleeve and live accordingly Trouble not your self with what is difficult for in that your duty is not described 5. Pray frequently and effectually I had rather your prayers should be often then long It was well said of Petrarch Magno verborum freno uti decet cum superiore colloquentem When you speak to your superiour you ought to have a bridle upon your tongue much more when you speak to God I speak of what is decent in respect of our selves and our infinite distances from God but if love makes you speak speak on so shall your prayer be full of charity and devotion Nullus est amore superior ille te coget ad veniam qui me ad multiloquium Love makes God to be our friend and our approaches more united and acceptable and therefore you may say to God the same love which made me speak will also move thee to hear and pardon Love and devotion may enlarge your Letanies but nothing else can unless Authority does interpo●e 6. Be curious not to communicate but with the true Sonnes of the Church of England lest if you follow them that were amongst us but are gone out from us because they were not of us you be offended and tempted to impute their follies to the Church of England 7. Trouble your self with no controversies willingly but how you may best please God by a strict and severe conversation 8. If any Protestant live loosely remember that he dishonours an excellent Religion and that it may be no more laid upon the charge of our Church then the ill lives of most Christians may upon the whole Religion 9. Let no man or woman affright you with declamations and scaring words of Heretick and Damnation and Changeable for these words may be spoken against them that return to light as well as to those that go to darkness and that which men of all sides can say it can be of effect to no side upon its own strength or pretension The End Martial l. 8. ep. 18. Prov. 27. 10. * Vt praestem Pyladen aliquis mihi praestet Oresten Hoc non fit verbis Maree ut ameris ama Mart. l. 6. ep. 11. * Extra fortunam est quicquid donatur amicis Quas dederis solas semper habebis opes Mart. l. 5. ep. 43. Et tamen hoc vitium sed non leve sit licet unum Quod colit ingratas pauper amicitias Quis largitur opes veteri fidoque sodali ep. 19. † Non bellè quaedam faciunt duo sufficit unus Huic operi si vis ut loquar ipse tace Crede mihi quamvis ingentia Posthume dones Authoris pereunt garrulitate sui ep. 53. De potest Eccles. cons. 12.
the Characterismes of her Lord the marks of the Crosse of Jesus that is when she suffered for a holy cause and a holy conscience when the Church of England was more glorious then at any time before Even when she could shew more Martyrs and Confessors then any Church this day in Christendome even then when a King died in the profession of her Religion and thousands of Priests learned and pious men suffered the spoiling of their goods rather then they would forsake one Article of so excellent a Religion So that serioufly it is not easily to be imagined that any thing should move you unless it be that which troubled the perverse Jews and the Heathen Greeks Scandalum crucis the scandall of the Crosse You stumbled at that Rock of offence You left us because we were afflicted lessened in outward circumstances and wrapped in a cloud but give me leave only to reminde you of that sad saying of the Scripture that you may avoid the consequent of it They that fall on this stone shall be broken in pieces but they on whom it shall fall shall be grinded to powder And if we should consider things but prudently it is a great argument that the sons of our Church are very conscientious and just in their perswasions when it is evident that we have no temporall end to serve nothing but the great end of our souls all our hopes of preferment are gone all secular regards only we still have truth on our sides and we are not willing with the losse of truth to change from a persecuted to a prosperous Church from a Reformed to a Church that will not be reformed lest we give scandall to good people that suffer for a holy conscience and weaken the hands of the afflicted of which if you had been more carefull you would have remained much more innocent But I pray give me leave to consider for you because you in your change considered so little for your self what fault what false doctrine what wicked or dangerous proposition what defect what amiss did you finde in the Doctrine and Liturgy and Discipline of the Church of England For its doctrine It is certain it professes the belief of all that is written in the Old and New Testament all that which is in the three Creeds the Apostolical the Nicene and that of Athanasius and whatsoever was decreed in the four General Councels or many other truly such and whatsoever was condemned in these our Church hath legally declared it to be Heresie And upon these accounts above four whole ages of the Church went to Heaven they baptized all their Catechumens into this faith their hopes of heaven was upon this and a good life their Saints and Martyrs lived and died in this alone they denied Communion to none that professed this faith This is the Catholick faith so saith the Creed of Athanasius and unless a company of men have power to alter the faith of God whosoever live and die in this faith are intirely Catholick and Christian So that the Church of England hath the same faith without dispute that the Church had for 400 or 500 years and therefore there could be nothing wanting here to saving faith if we live according to our beleef 2. For the Liturgy of the Church of England I shall not need to say much because the case will be very evident First Because the disputers of the Church of Rome have not been very forward to object any thing against it they cannot charge it with any evil 2. Because for all the time of K. Edw. 6. and till the 11th year of Q. Elizabeth your people came to our Churches and prayed with us till the Bull of Pius Quintus came out upon temporal regards and made a Schism by forbidding the Queens Subjects to pray as by Law was here appointed though the prayers were good and holy as themselves did beleeve That Bull enjoyned recusancy and made that which was as an act of rebellion and disobedience and schisme to be the Character of your Roman Catholikes And after this what can be supposed wanting in order to salvation We have the Word of God the faith of the Apostles the Creeds of the Primitive Church the Articles of the four first generall Councels a holy Liturgy excellent prayers perfect Sacraments Faith and Repentance the ten Commandements and the Sermons of Christ and all the precepts and counsels of the Gospel We teach the necessity of good works and require and strictly exact the severity of a holy life We live in obedience to God and are ready to die for him and do so when he requires us so to do We speak honour of his most holy Name we worship him at the mention of his Name we confess his Attributes we love his Servants we pray for all men we love all Christians even our most erring Brethren we confess our sinnes to God and to our Brethren whom we have offended and to Gods Ministers in cases of scandall or of a troubled Conscience We communicate often We are enjoyned to receive the holy Sacrament thrice every year at least Our Priests absolve the penitent our Bishops ordain Priests and confirm baptized persons and blesse their people and intercede for them and what could here be wanting to Salvation what necessity forced you from us I dare not suspect it was a temporal regard that drew you away but I am sure it could be no spirituall But now that I have told you and made you to consider from whence you went give me leave to represent to you and tell you whither you are gone that you may understand the nature and conditions of your change For do not think your self safe because they tell you that you are come to the Church You are indeed gone from one Church to another from a better to a worse as will appear in the induction the particular of which before I reckon give me leave to give you this advice if you mean in this affair to understand what you do it were better you enquired what your Religion is then what your Church is for that which is a true Religion to day will be so to morrow and for ever but that which is a holy Church to day may be heretical at the next change or may betray her trust or obtrude new Articles in contradiction to the old or by new interpretations may elude ancient truths or may change your Creed or may pretend to be the Spouse of Christ when she is idolatrous that is adulterous to God Your Religion is that which you must and therefore may competently understand You must live in it and grow in it and govern all the actions of your life by it and in all questions concerning the Church you are to choose your Church by the Religion and therefore this ought first and last to be enquired after Whether the Romane Church be the Catholique Church must depend upon so many uncertain enquiries is offered to be
treacherously he can never be admitted to friendship who speaks fairly and weeps pittifully Friendship is the greatest honesty and ingenuity in the world 4. Never accuse thy friend nor believe him that does if thou dost thou hast broken the skin but he that is angry with every little fault breaks the bones of friendship and when we consider that in society and the accidents of every day in which no man is constantly pleased or displeased with the same things we shall finde reason to impute the change unto our selves and the emanations of the Sun are still glorious when our eyes are sore and we have no reason to be angry with an eternal light because we have a changeable and a mortal faculty But however do not think thou didst contract alliance with an Angel when thou didst take thy friend into thy bosome he may be weak as well as thou art and thou mayest need pardon as well as he and {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} Theog that man loves flattery more then friendship who would not only have his friend but all the contingencies of his friend to humour him 5. Give thy friend counsel wisely and charitably but leave him to his liberty whether he will follow thee or no and be not angry if thy counsel be rejected for advice is no Empire and he is not my friend that will be my Judge whether I will or no Neoptolemus had never been honoured with the victory and spoiles of Troy if he had attended to the tears and counsel of Lycomedes who being afraid to venture the young man fain would have had him sleep at home safe in his little Island He that gives advice to his friend and exacts obedience to it does not the kindnesse and ingenuity of a friend but the office and pertness of a Schoolmaster 6. Never be a Judge between thy friends in any matter where both set their hearts upon the victory If st●angers or enemies be litigants what ever side thou favourest thou gettest a friend but when friends are the parties thou losest one 7. Never comport thy self so as that thy friend can be afraid of thee for then the state of the relation alters when a new and troublesome passion supervenes ODERUNT quos METUUNT Perfect love casteth out fear and no man is friend to a Tyrant but that friendship is Tyranny where the love is changed into fear equality into empire society into obedience for then all my kindness to him also will be no better then flattery 8. When you admonish your friend let it be without bitternesse when you chide him let it be without reproach when you praise him let it be with worthy purposes and for just ca●ses and in friendly measures too much of that is flattery too little is envy if you doe it justly you teach him true measures but when others praise him rejoyce though they praise not thee and remember that if thou esteemest his praise to be thy disparagement thou art envious but neither just nor kind 9. When all things else are equal preferre an old friend before a new If thou meanest to spend thy friend and make a gain of him till he be weary thou wilt esteem him as a beast of burden the worse for his age But if thou esteemest him by noble measures he will be better to thee by thy being used to him by tryall and experience by reciprocation of indearments and an habitual worthiness An old friend is like old wine which when a man hath drunk he doth not desire new because he saith the old is better But every old friend was new once and if he be worthy keep the new one till he become old 10. After all this treat thy friend nobly love to be with him do to him all the worthinesses of love and fair endearment according to thy capacity and his Bear with his infirmities till they approach towards being criminal but never dissemble with him never despise him never leave him * Give him gifts and upbraid him not † and refuse not his kindnesses and be sure never to despise the smallness or the impropriety of them Confirmatur amor beneficio accepto A gift saith Solomon fastneth friendships for as an eye that dwells long upon a starre must be refreshed with lesser beauties and strengthened with greens and looking-glasses lest the sight become amazed with too great a splendor so must the love of friends sometimes be refreshed with material and low Caresses lest by striving to be too divine it becomes less humane It must be allowed its share of both It is humane in giving pardon and fair construction and opennesse and ingenuity and keeping secrets it hath something that is Divine because it is beneficent but much because it is Eternall FINIS Postscript MADAM IF you shall think it fit that these papers pass further then your own eye and Closet I desire they may be consign'd into the hands of my worthy friend Dr. Wedderburne For I do not only expose all my sickness to his cure but I submit my weaknesses to his censure being as confident to finde of him charity for what is pardonable as remedy for what is curable but indeed Madam I look upon that worthy man as an Idea of Friendship and if I had no other notices of Friendship or conversation to instruct me then his it were sufficient For whatsoever I can say of Friendship I can say of his and as all that know him reckon him amongst the best Physicians so I knew him worthy to be reckoned amongst the best friends Two Letters to Persons changed in their Religion A Copy of the First Letter written to a Gentlewoman newly seduced to the Church of Rome M. B. I Was desirous of an opportunity in London to have discoursed with you concerning something of nearest concernment to you but the multitude of my little affairs hindred me and have brought upon you this trouble to reade a long Letter which yet I hope you will be more willing to do because it comes from one who hath a great respect to your person and a very great charity to your soul I must confesse I was on your behalf troubled when I heard you were fallen from the Communion of the Church of England and entred into a voluntary unnecessary schism and departure from the Laws of the King and the Communion of those with whom you have alwaies lived in charity going against those Laws in the defence and profession of which your Husband died going from the Religion in which you were baptized in which for so many years you lived piously and hoped for Heaven and all this without any sufficient reason without necessity or just scandall ministred to you and to aggravate all this you did it in a time when the Church of England was persecuted when she was marked with