beseech thee to perfect and accomplish that good work which thou hast begun in me for all my hope trust and confidence is in thee that thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me Ah Lord do not leave me to my self at any time for I shall undo in one moment all thy doings so great is my skill power strength mind and will to all evil against all good But O my God do thou continue to restrain my will and constrain it to thy will and to the faithfull and entire obedience of all thy Laws and divine Commandments Write thy Laws of grace in my heart and thy Statutes in my mind by the finger of thy holy Spirit and suffer me never through any temptation to depart from them but let them be a lanthorn to my feet and a light unto my paths to lead guide direct and govern me in the ways of righteousness and holiness that I may live the life of the righteous in the midst of this crooked froward and perverse generation Ah Lord suffer not the mountains of my sins nor the Rocks of unbelief to hinder thy mercies from descending into my Heart by thy holy Spirit nor my Prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith Let thy mercies draw me and thy judgements drive me that I may run and not grow weary that I may walk and not faint Be O Lord my God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ a savour of life unto life to my Soul and of death unto death to my sins and let thy holy and most blessed Spirit of grace that knoweth thy whole holy and sacred mind and will lead me teach me direct me and instruct me in all the things I shall take in hand to do and give me O Lord I beseech thee those things and those things only that may draw me nearer and nearer unto thy self to make me thine and only thine that I may be wholly thine holy thine always thine and ever thine that living here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour and after death be made partaker of Eternal Life through Jesus Christ my blessed and alone Saviour and Redeemer for whom I desire ever to bless thee as the Lord my Righteousness and to whom with thy glorious holy and sacred Majesty thy eternal and blessed Spirit of grace be given and ascribed by me and all thine as all due is Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving Now and for Evermore Amen HEre follow my spiritual Soul-solaces Dictates or Gleanings of God's Spirit set down in order and from time to time as it shall please the Lord in his goodness love and mercy to frame and fit my heart unto With a Journal of several passages as shall hereafter befall me by Providence whereby I may as in a heavenly Looking-glass see know taste feel and be certainly assured of God's loving and mercifull dealing towards me and of my daily approach and bringing nearer and nearer unto my â—long wished and desired home of Heaven through and by the merits of my dear Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ there to sing for ever and ever Hallelujahs of Praise Glory and Thanksgiving unto his most Holy Blessed Eternal and Glorious Name Let O Lord the Meditations of my heart the Words of my mouth and the Works of my hands be ever acceptable in thy sight who art my Strength and my Redeemer SPIRITUAL MEDITATIONS Being the Gifts and Dictates of GOD's SPIRIT OR The Hearts Frame and Language that desires to be made Spiritual and to live spiritually 1. O God my God who art all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually therefore of thee in Jesus Christ do I humbly ask all things 2. Give me thy self O God and I will confess that I have all those things I ask 3. For unless thou givest me thy self I esteem that I have nothing though thou keepest nothing else from me 4. I know that there is no perfect perfection here and therefore we cannot live without sin but O most gracious and most mercifull Father lay them not to my charge but bury them all past present and to come in the grave of my blessed Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ 5. I will ever seek thee O God whom my soul loveth desire thee only and lay hold and depend on thee alone 6. Let O God the things of the world be unto me as I was unto thee whilst I was in the world out of thee even as a menstruous cloth and filthy rags 7. Thy mercies O God are the hid Treasures which my heart seeketh and longeth to enjoy 8. Thy love O Christ is much sweeter to my taste than the hony-comb and I desire it much more than gold yea above all the worlds treasure good and glory 9. I am sure I shall be able to rejoyce in and under any yea all afflictions if thou dost not afflict me O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ with thy absence 10. He is in heaven though on earth that doth truly love thee and only love thee and heaven is in him because thy love is in him because thou lovest him thy love O God being the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven the best of Heaven 11. Do unto me O God what thou wilt and do but only tell me that thou wilt it 12. Were I in hell for thy sake that is absent from thee I could and would rejoyce â—or it is my Heaven to please thee my God who hast and dost so much delight me 13. Let me be but esteemed in thy eyes Oh my Jesus my sweet my dear and preâ—ious dear delight and I shall not value â—ut contemn all the ill looks of all others eyes 14. I had much rather be a Paul a Job or a Lazarus than a Solomon be ignominious all my days and honour my God always than be honourable all my days and dishonour my God but one day 15. Of all afflictions O God my God let not sin be my affliction afflict me not with sin for sin 16. A wounded heart a heart wounded with sin who can bear 17. What burthen so intolerably heavy as the burthen of one sin only if the Lord lift it not up with one of his fingers 18. I ask nothing in Heaven or Earth but God in Christ 19. God in Christ is all things for all things out of Christ are to me nothing he is my joy and my Salvation 20. I had much rather methinks be ever afflicted than never afflicted whilst on earth 21. Though by thy free grace O God thou hast in love and mercy brought me home unto thee yet thou hast used affliction as the means therefore do I love and k 〈…〉 the Rod because thou hast appointed it 22. I love affliction because it was the hand by which thou did'st O God leaâ— me out of affliction that is out of sin 23. I love affliction because by it thou hast taught me to love thee yea so to love thee as I love
and all his glory in Heaven face to face with spiritual eyes yea with the eyes of his own Holy Spirit 15. And if our Joys be so great to hear of him here with the hearing of the ears Ah how great shall they be to be with him hereafter and to hear himself with an understanding heart 16. And if then our Joys be so great to enjoy him here on earth and but in part imperfectly Ah how great shall our joys and delights be to enjoy him in Heaven not in part but in perfection perfectly fully wholly and holy as he is 17. And if our Joys be so great here on earth in the midst of fears Ah how great shall they be in Heaven where we need fear no fears for that there are no fears there to fear 18. And if our Joys be here on earth so great though surrounded with many sorrows Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all sorrows shall be all done away and turned into fulness of Joy 19. And if our Joys be so great among so many displeasing displeasures even here â—n earth Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all displeasures shall all be done away and our pleasures be for evermore 20. Ah fill me then O my good God with thy blessed most blessed self and thy Joys alone that in thee only I may rejoyce 21. If the nether Springs on Earth be so sweet Ah how delicious and sweet yea sweetly delicious O God are the upper Springs of Heaven in Heaven 22. If thy left-hand mercies O God be so delightful and do so much delight and please us Ah how much more shall those of thy right-hand delight us with pleasure 23. If his foot-stool favours be so great and we esteem our selves greatly favoured by them to have them Ah how great in favour yea what great favorites shall we be when we shall enjoy in Heaven the favours of his Throne and sit on Thrones by him 24. If to see a glimpse of his glory beauty and brightness here on earth do so ravish us with delight joy and admiration so as we could and would always be content to behold it Ah how then shall our hearts be ravisht with that ravishing fulness of his bright beautifull glory when we shall in Heaven behold all his glory as he is in his Kingdom of glory with all his glorious Saints and Angels from whose beautiful brightness and glory they have all their glorious brightness and beauty and are made thus gloriously beautiful with surpassing beauty and glory being in all things made like unto him 25. If then his glory be so sweet in the bud what is it in the branch but Ah then how much greater and sweeter is the Tree that hath so many branches 26. If then so great and sweet on earth Ah how greatly great and sweet in Heaven 27. And if our delights be so great in seeking thee O God here below on earth Ah how incomprehenslbly great shall they and will they be when we shall have found thee where thou art above in Heaven 28. And seeing O God thou givest us such wages her whilst we offend thee Ah how great shall they be yea what is there but thou wilt give us when we shall offend thee no more but always please thee 29. And seeing our Heaven is so sweet on earth or our earthly Heaven so sweet which is but to see thy back part by Faith darkly as in a glass Ah how sweet yea how much sweeter shall our heavenly Heaven be or our Heaven in Heaven which is to know thee as thou art O God to be known and see thee clearly and plainly even face to face 30. And seeing thy love O God is so great to us here as it constraineth us to love thee Ah how great shall it be to us there when without constraint our greatest joy and pleasure shall be to adore and love thee 31. Ah Lord God that knowest my heart thou knowest that all the desires of my heart yea that the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart desires to love thee only and to serve thee with all my whole heart 32. If thy name O Lord be so great and fearful unto those that know thee and that know that thou lovest them Ah how fearfully great and greatly fearful shall it be unto those that know thee not but yet know thy greatness and how greatly thou hatest them 33. All Glory only Glory and continually Glory be given unto God the God and giver of all gifts grace and Glory A Prayer THe Scope Sum Contents and my intent in this following Prayer is to beseech the Lord to be always graciously present with me to watch over me and to give me in Jesus Christ and for his sake merits and worthiness his own holy and blessed Spirit to lead direct guide and govern me in all things that I shall take in hand to do to change my old heart and give me a New that I may glorifie him by a holy life and conversation all the rest of my days and especially in this place where I have so much so often and so grievously sinned against his great and holy name and walkt contrary unto him serving the Devil and obeying his lusts worlds lusts and self lusts casting his holy and divine Commandments behind my back and trampling his Precepts under my feet and that he would be pleased with me to bring home all his Elect suddenly into his Kingdom of grace here and of glory hereafter that his whole and holy will may be done by us here on earth as it is done in Heaven until he shall be pleased through the infiniteness and incomprehensibleness of the riches of his free grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ to bring us into the Holy of Holies the Heaven of Heavens even into his blessed self there for ever and for ever to sing that ever blessed ditty sweet Angelical and Eternal Song of Hallelujah of Praise Thanksgiving and Glory unto his ever blessed most great gracious and glorious name So be it Lord So be it O Lord God of Heaven and Earth most high most great and most glorious the Creator Preserver and Governor of all things who hast created all things by the word of thy power by thee only they are and were created thou willest all that thou dost and dost all that thou wilt thou O God that art the only God for there is none else there is none besides thee the God of Abraham of Isaac and of Jacob that wast with the Children of Israel in Egypt and on the Red Sea with Moses in the Wilderness with Joseph in Prison with Daniel in the Lyons den with the three Children in the fiery Furnace and with Abraham in a strange Land be with me also O God in Jesus Christ be with me also thy poor unworthy Creature and servant in this strange Land sinful place and Nation whither thou hast by
thine not do mine own works but thine Ah Lord for Jesus Christ his sake I humbly beseech thee suffer me not to be led into any temptation so as to prevail over me but though temptations fall on me I may not fall into them though sin do remain in my heart my heart may not remain in sin deliver O Lord from all evil for thine is the Kingdom the power and the glory O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Be a wall of fire and of water round about me O my God continually to keep and preserve me from all mine Enemies and Adversaries the Devil the World and the Flesh be O Lord a City of refuge unto me that I may ever hide my self in thee for then I shall be safe and sure to be free from all danger be thou mine all for all my springs are in thee and from thee But what is man that he should be clean and the Son of man that is born of a woman that he should be righteous Behold he putteth no trust in his Saints and the Heavens are not clean in his sight how much more abominable and filthy is man that drinketh up iniquity as the Oxe drinketh up water and rusheth into sin as the horse rusheth into the battel But ah my God how much more wretched am I how much more unclean filthy and abominable am I than any that was ever born of a woman I that have delighted in sin as the Drunkard in wine as the wanton in his mate how have I chosen sin prized sin imbraced sin coveted sinning and sought it as for hid Treasures it hath been sweet to my tast as the hony and the hony Comb but O Lord I know and am assured that with thee there is mercy O teach thou me to fear thee For thou art O Lord become my Portion and thou hast made me thine inheritance for ever I prize thee O Lord much above gold and the most precious pearls thy Countenance is most amiable Ah how delightful are thy ways and how pleasant a thing it is O Lord to walk in the paths of thy Commandments and to keep thy Statutes these things O Lord thou knowest are only desirable unto my soul and it longeth only to be found in thee Who Lord who can or is able to express the ravishments of that heart that possesseth thee who Lord who is able to express the joy of him that enjoyeth thee Ah how doth he as it were run over with fulness of blessings that is filled with thee even with thy blessed self who art the Fountain the Ocean the Original of all blessedness felicity and happiness Ah Lord how truly may he say that hath thee as Jacob did that he hath all though he should want all other things he that hath thee hath all things in the want of all things and he that wants thee wants all things even in the possession of all things for what O Lord what are all things without thee and what doth he Ah what can he want that hath thee who art all things yea much better than all things for he that hath thee hath life yea Eternal life and is past from death death hath no more dominion over him but he that hath thee not is dead though he liveth for he that is in thee O Lord is from all sin free he that is born of thee O God sinneth not sin hath no more dominion over him because thy seed of holiness which is sanctificaâ—ion remaineth in him such a one hath overcome the world and that wicked One with all the Powers of the Kingdom of Darkness Sin Hell Death and the Devil he that is in Christ is Crucified to the world and the world unto him he is departed from all iniquity he hath Crucified the flesh with the lusts and affections thereof he maketh no longer provision for the flesh to satisfie its Lusts for such they know that his Servants they are whom they obey whether of sin unto death or of Obedience unto Righteousness Ah blessed ever blessed and only blessed and happy condition to be thus born again of God and to sin no more to be a member of Christs mystical body bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh such shall be as assuredly Members of his glorious Body for they that are betroth'd unto him here by grace shall be hereafter married unto him in glory Ah Lord God I am sure thou knowest my heart and that though it is not what it would be or should be yet thou hast for which I desire ever to praise thee in grace and mercy made it such as it heartily desireth and longeth to be what it should be but O Lord I know that here is no perfection and that therefore it cannot be here Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ in thine own good due and appointed time bring me home to that long wished for and blessed home that I may be ever blessed in thee and with thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah Lord my Lord thou knowest how willing I am to leave all for thee lose all to enioy thee trample all under my feet and hate all for thy sake yea spend and be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness in all places whither thou wilt go even as a chast Wife giveth her self unto her Husband and delighteth to love honour and obey him and longeth for his presence when he is absent that she may lye in his bosome and be imbraced in his arms esteeming all things toys and trash to his love even so Lord thou knowest that my heart desireth and longeth to be espoused unto thee in Heaven made one with thee knit and glued unto thee that I may be thine for ever and be imbraced in thine arms and lye in thy bosome living as thine and thine only unspotted and unblameable holy O Lord as thou art holy Heaven O Lord is Heaven because it is holy yea because thou art there that art holiness therefore yea therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy and such a holy Heaven as it is to those that are there a thousand years seem but as one day so sweet is its enjoyment and one day seems as a thousand years so great is their comfort of enjoyment and therefore O Lord and to praise thee do I long to be dissolved from this body of sin which is death that I may live in thee and with thee in holiness which is Eternal life for this O Lord thou hast taught me to know and therefore my soul rejoyceth that holiness is the only felicity and chief happiness in Heaven for that makes us only like unto thee who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven Grant therefore O my God in Christ and for his sake that I may whilst here below in the flesh on earth seek after labour for and endeavour to obtain that measure and degree of holiness that my
joy of enjoying that true Communion with the true God though here on earth me thinks I am not on earth but in Heaven and yet I know all this is but an earthly Heaven though a Heaven 102. But how then Ah how then doth my heart rejoyce with joy unspeakable knowing that the time will come and is ever near at hand when I shall ever enjoy Heavens true joys which is God himself the joy of all joys yea all joys that are true 103. O Lord thou knowest that the Heaven which my soul desireth on earth is to do thy whole holy and blessed will on earth as it is done in Heaven 104. I desire to live O God and give my heart unto thee That hast in love and mercy given thine own unto me 105. Ah Lord my God let me so hear thy blessed most blessed voyce that my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee is to live yea to live in thee and for thee which to do is the desire I have to live 106. Give me then power O God that hast all power in thy self that I may fight powerfully against all my powerfull Enemies and by the power of thy might which is an Almighty power I may tread and trample all their powers under my feet 107. Give me O Lord give me such fear as may cause me to love thee and such love as to fear thee and to cast out all fear 108. Meditation is the heart of the heart the soul of the soul which is the strength and life of all devotion 109. When in meditation God hath spoken peace unto thy soul Ah then do thou by thanksgiving with thy heart praise laud and him extol 110. He that will have Heaven on earth must meditate on Earth of Heaven 111. To have God abide with us we must by meditation abide with him 112. To have God live in us we must with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life live to him 113. To have God dwell in us we must open our affections which is the door of our hearts to let him into our hearts and continually feast him with true and unfeigned love loving none but him in comparison of him 114. To have God love us we must love him that is make him our choice above and beyond all other things choosing him for our chief and superiour good that is beyond above and more than all other things he must have all our hearts that is our hearts more than all other things 115. To have God delight in us our Delight End and Aim must be to delight him that is by walking well-pleasing unto him all the days of our whole lives as Christ did yesterday to day and for ever 116. To have God direct us how we shall walk we must be carefull and heedfull to walk as he doth and shall direct us 117. To have God preserve us we must believe in him trust on him depend and rowle our selves upon him 118. To have God maintain us we must cast all our care upon him for the earth is his and the fulness thereof 119. To have God sustain us and be our help we must hope only in him for he will fail us never and not put any trust in Princes or in the Sons of Men for in them there is no help their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish 120. To have God be all ours we must be all his that is in thought word and deed and not think our own thoughts or speak our own words nor do our own works but do all to the praise of his holy holy holy name 121. He that would live with the Lord in Heaven must live to the Lord on earth 122. He that would have the Lord to be his Lord and his God must serve honour and obey him as his Lord and fear worship and adore him as his God 123. He that would reign with the Lord Christ in Heaven must be contented to be arraigned for him as he was for us on earth 124. He that would sit with him there in glory above must be content to sit with him that is as he did in contempt here below 125. He that would rejoyce with him there must be contented to sigh and grieve and weep and mourn as he did here 126. He that would have all things with him there must be content if he will so have it to have as he had nothing here 127. He that would be received by God his Father there as by his Father must do his will as Christ did here that is as his Son 128. He that would wear an incorruptible Crown of glory for ever there must be content if he will so have it to wear a Crown of Thorns as he did here 129. He that would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinfull bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judge to acquit him there must judge and condemn himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christ's flock and be of his Fold and of his Sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after Holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to dye their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well-doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a Person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness always dwell within me that Heaven may be always within me and that I may be always in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven
with this Spirit for the peace tranquillity serenity and comfort of thy Spirit for the life and living of thy Spirit to please delight fill full satisfie and resatiate the appetite of the Soul even as the body hungreth and desireth rejoyceth and delighteth in food to please its fleshly appetite what if we could or did O Lord eat thy very body and blood that would not fill or feed our Souls which are not fed with meat and drink corporally but spiritually and what matters it O Lord as for me I care not what I eat or drink as to the outward man so I may eat and drink by faith in the Spirit and my inward man may be filled with the Spirit whether the body live or dye as for the bodies sake I care not though the body be hunger starved it shall for sure I am it will be well content if the Spirit be thus fed and filled with the presence breathings and Communion of thy Spirit 't is not Ah Lord 't is not thou well knowest the Quails and Mannah from Heaven nor thy body and blood corporally but spiritually that my Soul longeth for and my heart desireth and panteth after so that it even fainteth for lack of it Ah give me that or else I dye I dye indeed corporally spiritually and eternally from which deaths O Lord by thine own death I trust I hope I believe and am confidently assured that thou hast delivered me and wilt deliver me by giving me this Heavenly food of thy holy Spirit to live in thee for thee and to thee here by grace and hereafter in glory this is my belief O Lord increase my Faith strengthen it and comfort it more and more by thine own Spirits living raigning and ruling in my heart by causing it willingly cheerfully and perseveringly to walk in thy ways doing thy will with sincerity integrity and uprightness in thought word and deed both towards thee and towards all men for ever and for ever 56. He that maketh wagers usually coveteth if not always therefore surely it's best to forbear 57. Ah Lord keep me from coveting any other thing than thy self and thy holy and blessed Spirit to teach me lead me direct me guide and govern me my heart and affections to walk in all thy holy ways and to keep all thy Commandments all my days 58. For worldly covetings after the things of this World keep our thoughts hearts memories and affections from seeking with coveting desires the things of Heaven or Heavenly things 59. Let me covet thee O Lord ever ever But all things or any thing out of thee never 60. Let my love be to love thee my delight to delight thee my care O Lord let it be to please thee my groanings to go after thee in thy ways and let all my joys be to rejoyce in thee and thy praise and to praise thee O Lord my Lord always 61. Ah suffer me not in other to spend my days But thus uprightly to walk in all thy ways 62. Covetings for the World makes the affections of the heart to affect the World but covetings for and after Heaven makes the heart and all the affections thereof to affect Heaven and the things in Heaven with a heavenly heart 63. Covetings for the World makes the heart earthly but covetings for Heaven makes the heart heavenly 64. Covetings after God makes the heart God-like according to his heart covetings after any thing out of God or besides God makes the heart ungodly that is ungodlike and contrary to his heart 65. Covetings after the flesh makes the heart fleshly or a heart in the flesh Covetings after the Spirit makes the heart spiritual yea a heart living in God's Spirit 66. I suppose that if a man love at times unlawfully lusting after strange flesh only with the flesh that is desires and would their Loves with the flesh but not with the will and mind which is the heart though the flesh saith yea and yields if the Spirit saith nay and yields not and doth much more ardently and vehemently desire and would not their Loves then the flesh doth and would their Loves and the Spirit that is their inward man would much rather have the hatred than their loves and hath sincere hatred and dislike to this Love by the flesh faithfully truly ardently and continually it is not he that sins but Sin that dwelleth in him for though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin please the flesh yet he hates detests and abhors the evil which he doth and with his mind he serves the Law of God God's Law is written in his heart and remains engraven still in the inner man on all his affections 67. As to me I willingly most willingly would if it might be love none but my God alone 68. True Lord true it is the outward man that is the flesh desireth and delighteth in the things of the flesh because it is fleshly as the inner man the heart of the Soul and the Soul of the heart and all the faculties thereof delighteth and rejoyceth in the things of the Spirit because it is spiritual 69. I have no Heaven here Lord because my Heaven is in thee and yet I have a Heaven Lord here because thou that art Heaven art here and in me 70. Above all keepings keep O Lord O Lord keep my heart my poor heart from sin from choosing delighting approving countenancing or maintaining Sin 71. But this is not all no Lord no thou knowest it 's to be thy servant to work thy work to do thy will not for my self as for thy self not for my praise applause or honour but for thine for I could not be satisfied though I had all I would have unless I do all that for which thou hast created me and appointed me to do 72. 'T is not Ah 't is not the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World the honurs riches and pleasures thereof 't is not the hony of Earth but Heavens hony that my Soul desireth to tast and ever to feed upon 73. If I had and were ever sure to have all the satisfaction that ever Creature had and I had thee not O my God for my Portion as I firmly believe I have I should and would account my self of all men on Earth the most miserable 74. I would not give the part and Portion that I have at present in my God for all this Worlds good for all its honours riches and pleasures 75. Ah Lord how much nothing doth all things seem to be when compared to thee 76. Faith hope and love in thee and for thee O Lord is more worth than all things else that can be given that is not of thee 77. Who is able or can express the satisfactions of that Soul unto whom thou hast given Love cordial faithful sincere and persevering Love to love thee 78. Ah how sweet a thing is it to serve the Lord Ah how pleasant and delightsome to walk always in all his ways
know both how to want and how to abound 20. Truth inableth to go beyond all things for truth bringeth us home to possess all things even to possess God the God and giver of all things who is truth 21. By truth we are inabled to lead new lives and to have holy affections frequent in us our hearts being set on earth 22. Truth is lovely amiable beautiful desirable as the finest gold that cannot be finer 23. Truth maketh us unlovely lovely beautiful bright shining transparent and glorious being a beam a spark a coal a little light of that great light in whom we are comprehended but cannot Ah cannot comprehend for he is altogether incomprehensible 24. Truth makes us always lovely fair and beautiful in his eyes who can behold no falsity no evil 25. Truth is that mantle to cover our many infirmities and to make us that with boldness we may approach that glorious Sun and not be burnt that glorious day and partake of its glory that will cloud and eclipse the errours that are yet in us and make us to feel and to know that we are bound up in this blessed mantle with his hand that will take care over us and for us that no evil any more hurt us 26. Ah God the God of truth and my God let this truth of thine never depart from me nor I from it let me shine in it more and more that I may be resplendent and glorious always shining in thy sight that thou mayest delight to look upon me to love me and to honour me making me thy delight in and through the Son of thy love and the Saviour and Redeemer of my soul Jesus Christ the Righteous let my heart be always a heart of truth a true heart of truth serving thee unfeignedly and doing always all that I do in truth from love 27. When God is present there is present all good for all good is in God and from him proceedeth nothing but good he being the best the chief and the only good 28. Accordingly as we enjoy God our joys abound increase or decrease 29. When we possess him whatever other things we possess we possess them not whatever else we hear we hear not whatever else we see we see not whatever else we be we are as if we were not he being the souls all even all that it wills would love or desires the soul is so glued to him that it cannot be taken off by any thing that is either in heaven above or on earth below 30. Who can ah who can recount express tell or set forth the gracious magnificent transcendent bountiful bountifulness of our God in Jesus Christ its height is too high its breadth is too broad its length is too long and its depth is too deep As it is only his own Spirit that can tell what is in his mind for our good so it is only they they only that possess his Spirit that can comprehend in some measure the sweet Sweets that he gives that he pours and showres down into the hearts of his beloved ones 31. The joys of heaven are far above Unto all those that truly love Than all else be that we do know That we taste that we feel that we see 32. Go on go on O God go on To give me thy beloved Son Let him be mine let me be his For he 's my joy my peace and bliss 33. Let me in him and he in me Be alwaye seen to live and be Then when this all shall pass away My soul with him shall ever stay 34. It is unto thee O Christ that I come to have of thy self thy self 35. Let the world and devil use all their skill I am sure my God will be with me still 36. I am sure that God will fit and prepare me for all trials and afflictions whatsoever either before or in the trial of affliction 37. Ah Lord I beseech thee give me this grace that I may desire grace pray for grace and prize grace here on earth as I do and shall do glory hereafter in heaven for I know that he that hath not grace here shall not have glory hereafter and the more grace here the more glory hereafter 38. If then I live the life of grace here I am as sure I shall live the life of glory hereafter 39. Methinks it is much too low a thing for a Christian to desire any thing either here or hereafter for himself alone If I desire any thing here methinks it is chiefly for others most of all for others to refesh and comfort them I desire to have that I may have to give as for my self any condition I praise God would now fully please me would now fully content me yea I am fully perswaded that any bitter yea all bitters would be to me sweet in poverty I should find riches in banishment liberty in dishonour honour in contempt applause in being despised rejoyce and though I had nothing yet methinks I should enjoy all things 40. My God knows how much I desire heaven but more for his sake than for my own sake he knoweth that knoweth all the secrets of my heart that with my heart and soul I love him more much by much than my self I am so unlovely to my self that I cannot that I dare not love my self but in subordination to him and for him that I may praise him that I may prize him that I may fear him that I may love him ah that I may love him obey him and adore him 41. To love God I am unfit I am unworthy because I cannot ah because I cannot love him as I would as I should Indeed if thus it were possible for me to love him ah how would I delight even in my own love and love my self if that I had such a heart according to his heart to love him only with my whole heart even with a holy heart 42. But I find my heart so dull so dead so cold so benumm'd so Icy and Frozen that there is not that heat left within me of love as I would as I desire and as I should have for my God for my good for my heaven for my bliss for my rest for my peace and for my only joy all which is my God 43. Ah my Love thou art altogether unâ—ovely because thou dost not and because thou canst not love as thou shouldst what thou shouldst love and because thou lovest so much too much what thou shouldst not love thy self thy unlovely loveless self 44. Ah Lord my Lord it is thee it is thee that my Soul with all my heart would love and would if it could love none else love none besides in comparison of thee and thou knowest O Lord my God I desire sincerely and would be filled with this grace of Love buâ— for thee alone alone for thee for thee my God my God who art to me only lovely let I beseech thee all other love that is disordinate decrease
that thinks any thing more worth than Christ is not worthy of Christ 178. He that would not willingly lose all things for him and for his sake shall never have him nor of him partake 179. He that holds any thing dearer than Christ's love shall never partake of his love 180. But he that loveth him above all things beyond all things and more than all things may surely say that he hath all things for as Christ is above all God blessed for ever and for ever so he is all in all unto all those that truly love him 181. So sure as we would that he did love us so sure it is that he doth love us and more sure much by much and so much as we would that he did love us so much he doth love us and yet much more by much and so strongly and continually as we would that he did love us so doth he and so will he even unto the end for there is nor never shall be any end of his love he will love whom he doth love world without end for ever and for ever 182. So sure as we are Gods creatures so sure is he our God and so sure as he is the Father of all mercies so sure is he our Father and therefore sure it is that we are his dear children and therefore surely he will be ever unto us a most loving and merciful Father delighting to do us good and to make us his very delight in Jesus Christ our eldest Brother blessed Saviour and Redeemer 183. O Lord I have no good in me but what comes from thee I say none at all either great or small 184. From thee O Lord alone I have all that I have therefore me and all mine I confess and acknowledge is all thine 185. How weary Ah how weary am I of my self and yet not so weary as I would be because I keep not thy Laws 186. How loathsome Ah how loathsome am I to my self and yet not so much by much as I would be because I love thee not O God my God as I would and as I should love thee 187. That God is what he is is the greatest and chiefest joy of all those that love him fear him know him and have given up themselves unto him 188. The presence of God which is Communion with him through his Holy Spirit is the feast of fat and pleasant things yea the Feast of Feasts unto that Soul and every Soul that hath truly tasted of him 189. In his presence is all joy unspeakable joy and from his right hand flow continual pleasures for evermore 190. The good and the only good that a soul in God desireth chooseth longeth for and panteth continually after being ever hungry and a thirst to enjoy is in some measure to be like him in all things always to be conformable unto him to put him on and that he may never put him off 191. The goodness of God is such a souls only goodness the glory of God is such a souls only glory the honour of God is such a souls only honour the wisdom of God is such a souls only wisdom the riches of God is such a souls only riches and the love of God is such a souls only love God being only his his only good his only all in all always All that is Gods is dear and near unto him yea is his dearest and his nearest of all things either in Heaven above or on Earth below his cause such a soul makes his and his truth and ways he is so wedded unto as he only joyeth in the remembrance of them and for that he is by his Holy Spirit thus strictly wedded unto them having chosen them for his Love his delight his refreshings and rejoycings having his heart in some measure according to Gods heart and his mind according to the mind of God 192. All that is in all creatures both in Heaven above and here on Earth below is from God all their strength is from his strength all their Power from his Power all their might from his mighâ— all their wisdom from his wisdom all their love from his love and all their loveliness from his loveliness all their goodness from his goodness and all their greatness from his greatness all their riches from his riches and all their peace from him who is the God of Peace all their rest from him who is their rest all their joy from him who is the God of Joy all happiness felicity and bliss from him who is all happiness in himself and is his own felicity and bliss Thus from Gods all all Creatures Saints and Angels have their all and therefore they return unto him always as all due is all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thansgiving for ever and for ever 193. Ah God how great is thy greatness how good Ah how good is thy great goodness how deliciously sweet is thy sweetness how lovely Ah how transcendently lovely is thy loveliness how beautiful Ah how beautiful is thy beautifulness Who Ah who is a God like unto thee our God abundant in loving kindness always doing good 194. Ah most gracious and most glorious Lord God full of all grace and all glory thou art all fulness of all blessedness all the blessed are all blessed in thee even from thy ever blessed blessedness 195. The Lord would not give me the World at full till he had first fully given me Heaven to the end that I might not love what I should not but what I should that I might not love most the less but the most that is having the true knowledge of the worth of Heaven I might chuse it prize it love it and make it my whole choice delight and love for if the Lord had first given me my fill of the World I should doubtless have satisfied my self therewith and rested on it and sought only after it and not have minded Heaven nor the things in Heaven I should have made these low things here below the highest things in my esteem and choice and sought no other Heaven than thus to have lived on earth possessing earthly things 196. But now blessed be God for his goodness though I have earthly things in abundance I esteem account and prize them but as the things of earth even as dirt dung and dross compared with the things of Heaven yea with those things of Heaven that God giveth here on earth to those that love him for he that hath seen that hath tasted and that knows the one and the other must needs acknowledge confess and say Ah how low are all these things here below when compared with the things above they are all even nothing at all empty poor despicable poor low things 197. The Lord would not suffer me to possess the things of the flesh first ere he had feasted resatiated and satisfied me with the things of the Spirit with Heavenly and Spiritual things that I might be able to make a fit
according to the knowledge of men that know least to know most for thou hidest thy self from those that seek that knowledge that puffeth up but revealest thy self and shewest thine appearance as the Sun at noon day to those that deny themselves and seek only that Wisdom to know thee that they may give up themselves unto thee 194. Thus O God thou feedest the hungry but the rich thou sendest empty away thou confoundest the wisdom of the wise but makest glad the hearts of thy holy ones which are the humble ones 195. Let me not O God be cast down to doubt of thy Love how low so ever thou shalt cast me nor lifted up above measure how high so ever thou shalt raise me 196. Ah Lord God let my knowledge be that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and that I am thine 197. Ah Lord destroy the adversaries and enemies of my Salvation here which is thy shining manifesting and appearing in me unto me my knowledge of thee to be mine and I to be thine my dying to self to flesh and World to all that is not of thee and my living only to thee O God the God of my Salvation to thee to thee 198. My hereafter Salvation I know that none nor nothing can hinder me from I shall I know enjoy thee O God possess thee behold thee know thee and see thee as thou art to be seen and known I say and am sure that nothing is able or shall hinder me from this blessedness which thou hast prepared for me 199. Ah were it not for the enemies of our Salvation which are our own fleshly lusts and vile affections which fight and war continually against thee O God our Salvation in us we should see know find and feel the same Salvation ever here as hereafter we should contemplate thy beautiful beauty and thy most glorious glory here even as in glory hereafter 200. Ah Lord God fight then on my behalf consume and destroy with an utter destruction all these my enemies which hinder here this my so great Salvation consume and make wast all their powers and deliver my poor Soul because I trust in thee and in thy great name which are thy faithful promises 201. As a Fountain gives freely without intermission or constraint but the natural power or fulness that forceth even so should we that live in God and possess him and his fulness be always giving and communicating of what we have And as a fountain that is stopped a while being hindred of continuing its largess doth as it were during that space make or lay up provision to be more larger in its bounty even so me thinks should we be and do if for some time occasion or opportunity present not but we are as it were stopped from giving being unstopt that is occasion presenting it self to our charity we should shew forth by our gross streams of largeness in giving that the restraint of not having occasion was a constraint and against the supernatural now natural faculties of our Souls affections 202. If thus we were always communicating and when we find not occasion so to do had in us always a vehement earnest burning desire to give Ah how like should we be unto our good God and Heavenly Father who gives continually and is never weary nor repenteth GLORY TO GOD. In Bourdeaux Anno 1661. 1. THe love of God is the best of Heaven the very glory in glory 2. The love of God makes all things lovely to all those that know that they are his beloved 3. Gods love is sweeter than the honey or the honey comb much more desired and to be desired more by much than all fine gold and the most pretious Pearls 4. Gods love is better than Wine to comfort the heart it is the fatness marrow and sweetness of Heaven that feeds feasts and solaceth the Soul 5. There is nothing in Heaven above to be compared to Gods love 6. And all things that are here below ah how much below are they all to the love of God 7. He that hath or is in the love of God hath all God for God is all love 8. Ah Lord God love me then so that I may be filled with love to love thee as I should love thee to fear thee as I should fear thee to honour thee as I should honour thee and to obey thee as I should obey thee in all things in spirit soul and body by all my thoughts words and actions now henceforth and for evermore Amen 9. Ah Lord God how unspeakably great is thy love to all thy Children and Servants turning all things to their good even the very worst of things their sins 10. God sheweth his great love unto us how he loveth us by shedding abroad his love so in our hearts as we are made thereby to love him for naturally we love him not and therefore did he not give us love to love him we would nor could never love him 11. Ah powerful love that makes of us haters to become true lovers to love him in very truth whom we hated truly Yea those that have the love of God thus in their hearts love him so as it may be truly said of them that they love nothing else for they love him above their goods or good name above their Children above their Wives yea much more and above their very lives They can and easily do when called thereto give up all to him and for him his love doth constrain to love him again the heart is so in love with him finding him so lovely that it cryes out continually for more love that it may love him more for nothing comforts such souls as Gods love they make and account his love as himself and himself to be his love and being thus loved by him and living thus in his love they live in him and he in them which is the very life of their lives and the very bliss and Heaven of their Heaven 13. Such is the love of God unto us his Children that he swallows us up and houseth us in himself that we may be all his and he all ours that we may put him so on as be made like him and partake continually of him which is our Crown and Glory yea our Crown in Glory which will make us shine more beautiful and glorious than ten thousand Sons 14. Cause me O Lord God to declare what thou wilt have me to declare cause me to believe what thou wilt have me to believe cause me to know what thou wilt have me to know and inable me to do all that thou wilt have me to do that I may be filled with thee to live to thee and in thee to thine Eternal honour praise and glory so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 15. Go forth O God go forth before me that I may follow thee where ever thou goest that thou wilt be unto me a light by night in the mid'st
nothing in comparison oâ— thee but all things in subordination to thee 24. I love affliction because in it I saw thee in me and my self in thee 25. I love affliction because by it I saw that thou didst love me 26. I love affliction because it taught me to love thy Statutes to choose them imbrace them and delight in them 27. And I will love affliction because it will keep me in the ways of thy Statutes 28. I love afflictions because they are lovely and sent from thee the God of Love to me in Love 29. I love afflictions because thou hast sanctified them to me and me by them 30. I love affliction because since that I was deeply afflicted for sins I have not been afflicted with sins triumph nor with reign 31. I love afflictions because thou hast made them O God unto me lovely 32. I love afflictions because thou hast ever sweetned them unto me by Sanctification 33. I love afflictions because by them â—hou hast taught me how to bear afflictions 34. I love afflictions because by them â—hou hast taught me how to afflict my self â—hat is my flesh for sins afflictions 35. O my God give me what afflictions â—hou wilt so by them thou suffer me not to â—fflict thee who I know never took'st pleasure to afflict me 36. If I had not known afflictions meâ—hinks I had never sought to learn to know â—hee nor thy knowledge 37. If I had not been undone I may justly â—ear I had been for ever undone 38. Give me O Lord as many sanctified afflictions as thou pleasest for then in the midst of them I am sure I shall please thee 39. O Lord suffer not any affliction to afflict me with murmurings or repinings which I am sure will afflict thee 40. I desire ever to praise thee O Lord â—or that I never had affliction in the flesh to â—y remembrance but it brought me comâ—ort in the Spirit 41. So that I may say through grace â—y afflictions have been my best and choicest â—enedictions 42. So esteeming them give me O Lord his grace to esteem them as tokens and â—gns of grace 43. O Lord make me ever thankfull fâ—â— all these thy afflictions which deserve much thanks 44. O Lord I heartily thank thee for thâ— thou hast made my heart such as it do truly thank thee for them 45. Give me grace O Lord to will thâ— Will and to submit to all thy Wills will 46. Ah Lord give me grace to knoâ— thy Will a will to learn to know thy gracâ— 47. Thy glory is my glories end thâ— end is my glories aim 48. I desire no other honour O Lord than to have the honour to be thy Servant 49. I will rejoyce in any Condition sâ— may be in the Condition of thy Servant 50. O Lord I am willing to do any woâ—â— so it may be thy work 51. Thy glory O Lord is my only loâ—ing my only joy delight desire aim and enâ— 52. O Lord let me never be ashamed do thy work though never so mean in eyes of Men let it be always beautifâ— honourable and glorious to my eyes heâ— will and affections 53. Give me Christ O God on any terâ— and conditions and I will confess them be honourable terms and conditions advâ—tagious and glorious 54. I had much rather haye Communâ— with Christ in a Dungeon than be adorned and ever possess all Solomon's outward glory in a Palace 55. Communion with Christ will I am sure make me content in all places and conditions 56. In Christ I am sure there is fulness of joy and all true peace and comfort though without any of all the worlds comforts 57. In Christ there is all pleasure though in the World frowns disgrace and displeasures 58. In Christ there is true light though in the World dark Dungeons 59. Thy smiles O Christ my Christ are my Heaven and thy frowns let me never know for I fear them as the worst of Hell 60. Let me enjoy that Heaven and I care not for all other Hells 61. Ah sweet Jesus let thy will be my will that my will may be always according to thy will 62. Let nothing O Lord satisfie me but my assurance of being in thee and thou in me 63. Let me always O Lord meditate on thy love and mercies in loving me 64. Ah suffer not any thing in this world of this world to content or delight me unless thou be in it my sweet Jesus 65. O Lord grant that as often as I do sin I may sigh and sorrow for sin and earnestly desire to sin no more 66. Grant that I may set all my affectionâ— and love on thee my dear Saviour and Soveraign Lord who art the Father's Glory the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 67. Grant O Lord who art my God and all my good that in all Conditions may abundantly rejoyce with true contentment and not at all to murmur or repine aâ— thy hand though heavy on me 68. Ah Lord be thou always all my thoughts all my joy and the only and alâ— the rejoycing of my heart 69. Grant that I may always love thee O my Lord more than my Life yea thaâ— the life that is the Salvation of my Soul 70. Grant O Lord that I may not so much by much labour for the joys oâ— Heaven to my self as to do thy will or earth in love only to thy self 71. Grant O Lord that all my solacâ— may be in uprightness of heart to serve thee 72. O Lord give me grace that whilst am on Earth I may labour to do thy will with my whole will as it is done in Heaven 73. Grant O Lord that I may every day yea all the day long have Communion with thee the Spirit of Grace my sole comforteâ— and only comfort 74. Grant that I may will nothing but thâ— will O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 75. I had rather have thy smiles in Hell my sweet and dear Jesus if it could be â—en thy frowns in Heaven 76. I had much rather if it could be be Hell and obey God then in Heaven and against him 77. O God give me I most humbly beâ—ech thee for Jesus Christ his sake those â—ings and those things only both for soul â—d body on earth that may prepare me â—d make me fittest for Heaven 78. I had much rather choose death â—en choose to sin 79. Though I cannot live without sin â—re yet whilst I live here suffer me not O â—od at any time to consent unto sin 80. I do believe that Christ Jesus is my Jeâ—â—s and my Christ and that he makes interâ—ssion for me every moment and ever will â—en to my very last moment 81. I had much rather enjoy affliction â—ith enjoying thee O my Saviour then all â—anner of prosperity if thou do'st not prosâ—r it 82. As long O God as thou givest me â—ead water and grace I will acknowledge â—t I have sufficient meat drink and rayâ—ent yea
â—d go not out of me never for when I â—ve thee Lord I have all that I desire â—d crave 175. I am most willing and ready to â—se my life to preserve thee O Lord but â—t to preserve my life to lose thee 176. O Lord what thou hast given me â—hich is all take when thou wilt and in â—hat manner thou wilt 177. Make O Lord thine own Conditions â—ith me I will make none with thee but â— obey thee and serve thee on thine own â—rms 178. Teach me O Lord to know my â—lf as thou knowest me and to hate my â—lf for Sin as thou lovedst me when I was â— my Sin 179. I desire to hate Sin as the Devil to â—ar Sin as Hell and to fly from Sin as from â—y wrath O great God 180. With thee I desire to leave and give â—y self O sweet Jesus receive me and acâ—ept of me 181 O Lord go with me where I anâ— go thaâ— I mâ—y be always with thee nâ— from â—hee nor do any thing without thâ— 182. O Lord let me only do what tâ— consentest unto 183. I fear Sin much more then the thor of Sin 184. Sin is my worst my greatest my strongest Enemy 185. Give me Grace and strength sweet Jesus to conquer Sin and I shall fear all other Enemies 186. Had I but one sin unforgiven thou should'st O Lord make me my â— Judge I should and could not do otâ— wise then condemn my self for ever â— Hell 187. I desire ever to magnifie laâ— praise and extol thy glorious name O Lâ— God for making Jesus Christ my Judgâ— whom thou hast appointed also to be my 〈…〉 vocate 188. Were I to choose I would choâ— no other for both 189. For sure I am I cannot lose â— cause if he plead it nor be condemn'd judging me who was judged and coâ—demn'd for me 190. He dyed for me and therefore shall not see that death 191. He hath paid my ransome and thereâ—re I must be acquitted 192. He hath suffered and therefore I all ever raign 193. He wore a Crown of Thorns that might ever wear a Crown of an Eternal â—d incomprehensible weight of Glory 194. He is risen and hath led Captivity â—aptive that I might be delivered for ever â—t of all Captivity 195. He is ascended up on high and â—erefore I am sure he will lift me up unto â—m 196. He is gone to prepare a place for â—e therefore I am sure I shall be for ever â—ell plac'd 197. He is sate down on the right hand â—f God and hath convinc'd and conquer'd â—ll my accusers and enemies therefore I â—hall in quiet rest and perfect peace sit â—own with him and by him 198. He hath all power and Authority â—iven him by God therefore I am sure no â—ower shall or can hurt me 199. He hath provided a place for all his Children and Servants therefore I will not â—e afraid nor fear 200. He hath promised and he is faithfull therefore I will believe and not doubt but rejoyce 201. O Lord let me fear nothing but â— nor love nothing but thy â—ear 202. My love O Lord to thee is suâ— thy love to me 203. O Lord put the vail of thy feaâ— fore my eyes and my heart that I â— not sin against thee by neither 204. Ah Lord God suffer me nâ— more to doubt of thy love seeing thou â— so freely and willingly given the Son of love even thy dear only eldest natuâ— and beloved Son Jesus Christ to dye me and in my place and stead 205. Ah sweet Jesus Be thou pleased to take up thy aboad in my heart and dwell there as I may always find thâ— there to comfort me and to direct â— how to walk well pleasing unto thee â— me always hear thee speaking to me hoâ— I shall do every thing I take in hand to dâ— so that all my thoughts words and deed may tend only to thy honour and glory tâ— Credit of the Gospel the good of otherâ— and the eternal Salvation of mine own Soâ— 206. Ah Lord give me grace in all â—flictions to consider that it 's much less the I deserve and that thou mightest justly haâ— sent them on me sooner 207. Hell O Lord I confess is only mâ— desert what less thou givest me is moâ— â—n I have or can deserve and less punishâ—nt then the least of my Sins hath deserved 208. Therefore in all Conditions I desire â—less thy name and to praise thee with a â—nkfull contented and rejoycing heart 209. Let O Lord all thy afflictions teach and tell me that thou art mindfull of â— and that they are friendly yea Father-Visitations and Tokens of thy Fatherly â—e love in Jesus Christ 210. O Lord suffer me not to sell my â—tion in Heaven for any Portion of earth earth the Honours Riches or Pleasures â—ereof 211. Let even this Portion thy service â—d work O God be preferred by me and dearer to me then all things of this world 212. A Christian once in Christ united him cannot be taken out of him no more â—n the same water cast into the Sea can taken out again for he is become a part Christ even as the drops that fall into â—e Sea are forthwith a part thereof 213. Seeing then thou hast made me one â—th thee received me a little drop into â—y self the Ocean of Blessedness and of goodness happiness and felicity My â—eet Jesus I am sure I shall never be sepaâ—ted from thee 214. Let me O God so live the remainder of all my life here on earth as that â— mayest not be ashamed to be called my â— and to give me eternal life hereafter in â—ven 215. O sweet glorious and glorifieâ— sus inhabiting Eternity from all Eterâ— look not on me as I am in my self witâ— thee but as one in thee even as a mâ—ber of thy blessed self 216. Love me O Lord God â— thine own love even with that love iâ— sus Christ wherewith thou lovest thine â— 217. When O Lord I have thee thâ— alone I have what I desire yea and all I desire for thou art all and the only sire of all my desires 218. Give me O Lord thy self thoâ— without any thing else and I will never thee any thing else 219. But though thou dost O God â— me all things else and not thy self I â— account it even as nothing 220. Having thee alone My dear Jeâ— I have all things and having not theâ— have nothing that I truly love 221. Give me then thy self and â— shall content me but unless thou dost â— me thy self I am resolved never to be â—tented 222. Give me then so thy self O Lâ— â—o art my Delight as I may do all things â— thee and nothing at all without thee 223. Give me so thy blessed self as I may â—ays enjoy thee beholding thy glorious â—e and the light of thy blessed Counteâ—ce and may hear thy most sweet and â—mfortable voice to comfort revive â—d refresh me 224. Be thou O
wilt I willingly would and willingly would nothing but what thou wilt 69. I had rather do thy will O my God on earth for thy self and thy sake then be in Heaven for my own self and my own sake thy service is dearer to me then my soul 70. I had much rather do the least work for God then have the greatest good and benefit for my self 71. Whatsoever O Lord thou wilt have me to be do and suffer that I willingly would be and long to do and suffer and to have and no other 72. Wilt thou O Lord have me poor afflicted persecuted banisht evil spoken of tormented tempted all these Lord and what else thou wilt so thou come with them I shall rejoyce in them and most willingly receive them 73. It is not Lord what I desire only buâ— what thou hast ordained that I only desire 74. I know and am assured that thou wilt O Lord sooner cast the earth into the Sea and remove the Heavens then take any of thy love from those whom thou lovest 75. For seeing sin cannot nor shall not separate us Lord what shall what can 76. It is fixt on thy own love O Father in Jesus Christ thy Son most lovely and therefore unchangâ—able unmoveable 77. It is from thy great Love O my God that I find thee lovely but thy love is greater for that I love thee and yet more great that I love thee only but more great then all it is that thou hast ever loved and wilt ever love me 78. Ah love that passeth all degree the offended dyes to set the offenders free 79. It is thy mercy O God that I am not past mercy that I contemn not mercy that I know mercy that I value mercy that I prize mercy that I seek mercy that I hope for mercy am assured of mercy and that I desire the same mercies for all others that are not past mercy 80. To will thy will O God is to do thy will when we would as willingly do it be it what it will as we will it 81. To serve thee best and most or to do thee O God most and best service is in most submitting to thy will be it what it will 82. It is not the work of the hand or of the head but of the heart that is according to thy heart and most delighteth thy heart O my God the maker and the giver of all good hearts 83. To wait is better then to work if thou shewest us not what work is thy work and what work we shall do 84. Let me not O God ever ask any other condition than my present condition and always submit to thy will in my condition as often as thou shalt change my condition and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best 85. And let chearfulness witness my contentedness and my contentedness be shown by my chearfulness 86. Ah Lord my Lord if thou did'st not at times afflict me how often should I Ah how often should I afflict thee 87. But I mightily desire to magnifie and praise thee O my God for that I find when affliction comes on me thou comest with it and dost always abundantly comfort me yea my greatest comforts have been when thou seemest as if thou would'st afflict me that is even in affliction 88. If affliction should go from me I fear I should go from all good which is from God 89. Afflict me O Lord so much as thou wilt and so often as thou pleasest so that in it I afflict not thee 90. In affliction I fear but out of affliction Ah Lord I confess I am careless Ah too too careless 91. Affliction makes me O Lord to run to thee to cry aloud after thee and to importune thee for thy presence but out of affliction I go softly I speak softly and know not how to beg with importunity 92. If the outward Man receive such joy and delight in the Creature and by conversing with them Ah what joy delight and ravishment doth the inward Man receive having Communion with God and enjoying his dear Creator 93. If earth and the things below be able to satisfie any surely surely Heaven and the things above shall be able and will satisfie all for every one there shall enjoy God who is all and in all 94. Seeing Heaven on Earth is so sweet Ah how sweet is Heaven in Heaven or the Heaven of Heaven which is our God 94. And seeing Heavens joys are so great on earth Ah how greatly great are they in Heaven 96. Ah sweet most ravishing sweet Jesus let me enjoy them so here that I may long to be dissolved and to be in Heaven to enjoy them there Ah to enjoy thee thee there 97. Seeing one drop or â—ast of them is so delitious Ah how deliciously and delightfully are they fed that feed on them continually and shall feed on them for ever and ever 98. Grant O my God that sins sweets be to me bitter and Heavens bitter be to me sweet and that I may always prefer Heavens bitterest to sins sweetest and never to find any sweet in the sweets of Sin 99. I had rather see Christ with spiritual eyes then in the flesh with the eyes of the flesh and to have him in my heart then in my arms 100. Christ only can make us spiritually hungry and he only can feed us with the bread of life from him we have our spiritual thirsting and he he only can give us to drink of those living waters the fountain of life being in him only 101. Were there as many worlds to be offered me as there would be minutes from Eternity to Eternity I would not nay praised be God I could not give my hope and my interest in my Jesus to enjoy all their riches honours and pleasures unto all Eternity 102. For by how much is he above all things and more worth then all things by so much yea by so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for all things to God can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 103. For God is all things and I am sure of him and therefore I have all things sure 104. He that believes in Christ loves him and he that loves him fears him and he that fears him obeys him and he that loves fears obeys and believes in him must and will walk as he walked 105. We can both will and do our own wills which are evil but we can neither will nor do thy will O God which is all and only good 106. Give me then grace O God the God and giver of all grace to deny my own will to hate and forsake my own will that I wholly and perfectly do thy perfect and holy will 107. Let me then O God my God so will to do as I may only do thy will for my whole will is that thy holy will be done on me and in me that I may do thy will here on
words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacob's Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his arms my arms might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine enemies O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucifie themselves and their bosom sins hate themselves and their own ways persecute themselves and crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing I despicable poor I until thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most graciously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech the in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannies of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utter and total destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the House of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me until thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ and what else thou knowest to be needful or expedient for me both for Soul and Body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy Spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottom of my heart unfeignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on Earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think love God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many Millions of Millions in the body and Spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him in deed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our senses Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esteem that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joys do then sometimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when it is filled with heavenly joys yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joys of Heaven 7. And if momentany and earthly joys can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joys shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is more than faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the Soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he prefers it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall always and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our joys be so great to see God here and his Glory darkly as in a glass with fleshly eyes Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously
can be done by them but what thou pleasest and sufferest to be done Cause them and all thy people to know that having thee on their side and for them they need not fear who be against them for none ever fought against thy power and prospered and that though thou dost usually use means yet thou canst O God we know if thou so pleasest do thy work without means yea and against means and that there is no means so contemptible but thou canst O God our God make effectual even to the pulling down of strong holds as thou did'st the Walls of Jericho at the noise of Rams Horns it is as easie with thee to do what thou willest as to will it all things are as easie as possible let us not then O God fear any power no nor all powers having thee the Lord for our God before whom all the Nations of the earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance Thou holdest O God the Ocean in the hollow of thine hand and the earth is upheld and standeth fast by the power of thy might give us then O Lord God such fear as may cause us to love thee and such love as may cast out and destroy all fear for thou only who art God only art to be feared only Ah Lord look down graciously and in mercy upon poor afflicted Scotland and Ireland stir up thy self and come and save them even now now when there is no help for them nigh at hand O Lord be thou their help and help thou them and give them grace to put their trust in thee that thou mayest be their help and deliverer of three Nations make us O Lord one people that we may be knit together with the bonds of love and unity serving thee O Lord with a perfect heart in holiness and righteousness all the days of our lives And though O Lord thou hast delivered them into our hands and given us power over them Ah Lord suffer us not to do other unto them than we would they should do unto us and that we lay not on them too heavy burthens to bear Bless O Lord I beseech thee all my kindred and acquaintance in the flesh Ah Lord I know that thou knowest all their soul and body cases Ah be thou pleased in Jesus Christ to come into their help and give them deliverance make O Lord make their hearts below their conditions and then make their conditions what thou wilt lay no more O Lord on them than thou shall be pleased to enable them to bear and then lay on them what thou wilt Ah Lord cause every thing to work together for their good let them always see and acknowledge that thou punishest them far less than their iniquities deserve and that all afflictions whatsoever come from thee but the procuring cause is in themselves make them O Lord as willing to wear the Cross here as the Crown hereafter to suffer for thee here as to reign with thee hereafter And though O Lord they be poor in the world let them be rich in grace though they be contemptible in the world let them be honourable in thy sight be thou O Lord their Portion and make them thine inheritance and grant O Lord I beseech thee that their last days may be their best days and their last thoughts their best thoughts that they may be thy faithfull humble and obedient Servants unto their lives end living the lives of the Righteous that they may be like them both in death and after death Be thou with them O Lord in all places and at all times that they may always sit under the shadow of thy wings and that the fruit of thy word may be pleasant unto the tast of their souls let them through grace delight to walk in the ways of thy Statutes and let thy Commandments be their daily talk suffer them not O Lord to go astray from thee either after the pleasures or profits of the world but inable them all through grace to walk uprightly and circumspectly before thee unto their lives end Be mindfull and mercifull O Lord unto all the Sons and Daughters of affliction wheresoever dispers'd wheresoever scattered on the face of the whole earth bring home O Lord all that are banisht deliver all Captives and set free all Prisoners that every one may sit under his Vine and rejoyce under his Fig-Tree eating in peace the fruits of their labours visit O Lord the sick comfort the comfortless bind up the broken heart heal the wounded heart give life to the dead heart give the grace of faith unto the doubting heart and of hope unto the despairing heart speak peace O Lord unto the disconsolated and afflicted heart give understanding memory sense and reason unto the distracted heart and those amongst them whom thou dost intend O Lord and hast appointed to take unto thy self let them see thine arms of love in mercy open and ready to receive them let them hear O Lord thy sweet and comfortable voyce speaking peace unto their Souls and saying Sons and Daughters be of good cheer your sins are forgiven you wash them O Lord with thy most dear and most pretious blood and sanctifie them with thy holy spirit of grace that they may appear spotless and unblameable before thee whiter than Snow purer than Wool finer than Gold and brighter than the Sun and make them O Lord more than Conquerours and those O Lord whom thou dost intend to restore unto their former health and strength give them grace to lead new lives and to become new Creatures that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee O God our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ Ah Lord God look with much mercy I humbly beseech thee upon all those every where that suffer for the Peace of a good Conscience because they will not sin against thy truth keep them O Lord as the Apple of thine eye that nothing come nigh to hurt them nor to affright them let them depend on thy mercies fear thy judgments and lay hold on thy gracious promises give them O Lord courage and strength to fight that good fight and to run that good race that thou hast set before them that they may be always-willing and ready to give up their lives unto the death and then from thee O Lord they may receive the Crown of Eternal life And those O Lord that suffer for an evil Conscience because they have sinned against thy truth let them not always mourn as men and women without hope but pour down O Lord in much love and mercy pour down thy holy and blessed spirit the Comforter into their hearts that may speak peace unto their Souls even that peace that passeth all understanding let not the Mountains of their sins O Lord nor the Rocks of unbelief hinder thy mercies from coming down out of Heaven into their Hearts nor their Prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith but cause them O
love O Lord of thy Children and Servants unto thee when they know that they are beloved by thee whom they most love and must love most for thy Love thy Love being most worth worth most and therefore do they despise all Love and things lovely in the Creature to purchase thy Love O God who art the Creator of all Love and things lovely they love thy Love most O God because they know and feel that thy Love only causeth them to love thee more whom notwithstanding they do already love most and for that nothing but thy Love can satisfie them with sufficient love to love thee sufficiently for to love thee is to live and they could not live if it were not for thy Love and therefore are they ready and willing always to dye for thy Love and to witness and shew forth their love with which they love thee 38. If then the love of the Creature be so great for the Creator that it is more above and beyond any love in the Creature for the Creature yea it is so great as it cannot be uttered it being and proceeding from the Creator's own Love that the Creature hath this love and that he loveth thus his Creator 36. But Ah then how incomprehensible and great is the love of the Creator for and unto us his Creatures in that he giveth us so much of his love as to love him and such condescension is in him as he delighteth to be beloved by them who out of his love do so much hate him and love only what he hateth alas alas what can we poor we say of him whom we know not but by himself and from himself and love not but from his love Let us then Ah let us then admire and in humility ever adore this his love with which he hath so loved us as to make us like himself in love which is to be all love loving others as our selves for even as his love only causeth him to love us so likewise doth this his love in us cause us thus to love him and thus to love one another with the same loving love and all that we may be all one and the same in love in him to him and for him who is the love of our love the cause of our loves love the subject of our love the object of our love which we only desire to love and the joy of this our joyous love and the aim of our end and the end of our aim is to live and love unto the end in this loving love that is that our love may never know end as his never knew no beginning nor never shall know end and this is and such is the great love of our God yea the incomprehensible love with which he loveth us being such and so great as we cannot comprehend its greatness it cannot enter into us therefore we shall enter into it neither can we sufficiently express ours for him which flows only from his from himself who is only and alone in himself perfect love and he alone can only create and give perfect love to love perfectly none but himself from himself of himself can then thus love perfectly or give perfect love to love perfectly thus 40. It is then thy love in me O Lord my God that causeth me to love thee 41. Inflame then my cold benumm'd icy frozen heart with the fiery hot burning flames of this thy burning hot love O my God that my heart may continually as Moses's bush and the Seraphims still flamingly burn but never consume for it is by this and from this divine fire that cometh from thy holy Altar O Lord that my soul liveth and out of it it cannot 42. Let me then O Lord ever burn That I may ever live for why Ah if I should not still burn thus I am sure I should eft soon dye 43. Ah Lord my God and my Father in Jesus Christ I desire to praise thee ever for that thou hast not only forgiven me all but given me all thou hast not only given me a pardon for all my Iniquities and Transgressions and forgiven all my sins but hast also forgotten that ever I sinned 44. Thou hast not only given me such a pardon as never to remember my sins any more but with the pardon thou hast O Lord given me thy love and thy self so as I shall ever live in thy self to love thy self ever and to offend thee never 45. Thy love O my God and heavenly Father is far greater unto me than David's was for his beloved Son Absolom though he loved him better than his life and willingly would have died for him yet when he forgave him his murder he would not have him to see his face in Jerusalem But thy pardon O King of Kings is with such abundance of love that thou hast been pleased in love to come down thy self from thy Throne and thy dwelling place in thy heavenly Jerusalem unto me on this earthly Geshur to shew me thy most amiable most glorious and most blessed face and to cause the light of thy Countenance to shine upon me that I might not be afflicted because thou knowest right well that it were much better for me that thou shouldest take my life from me than hide thy face from me for what were or would be my life unto me if I did not O my Father see thy face in Jesus Christ yea thou knowest that my life is nothing unto me if I see not always thy face for thy presence is my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell 46. Ah what love is this O my God! wherewith thou hast and dost love me to pardon such a rebellious murderer as I am not for slaying an incestuous Amnon but an innocent Jesus the Son of thy love thine eldest only Son in whom thy Soul delighted only 47. Thy Love O God my God is such that thou hast not banisht me but brought me back and though I did flye from thee yet thou thy self didst in love run after me and broughtest me back yea such is thy love that thou hast not unthroned me but inthroned me and made me not only an heir but coheir with thy Natural only Son and my Saviour not only of a Crown and Kingdom honourable and glorious but of a Kingdom and Crown of honour and glory and not for a mortal life of time but for an immortal life out of time for ever and for ever 48. Ah Lord God how didst thou love me when thou didst deliver me take me off and free me from my own love from loving my self with self-love that is loving my self more than thee and wert pâ—eased in love and out of the abundance of thy love which is incomprehensible and unconceivable to cause me to choose thy love to prize thy love to desire thy love and to rejoyce in thy love esteeming nothing else lovely or desirable 49. They that love as they ought to love that is True love in loving
God or loving God truly rightly and truly love God first and most he is their ultimate end the end of all their aim and the aim of all their end is to love him they love him for all that is in him for that they know that he is all holy all just and all good and they love him chiefly that is most of all because he is God that is because he is what he is even such a God as he is they adore his greatness as his goodness and fear his goodness as his greatness they prize his mercy at the highest value and value his Justice at the highest price they admire the knowledge of his Wisdom and as much the Wisdom of his knowledge they stand amazed at his might and are confounded at his power alike they wonder at his highly lowness and lowly highness that God would be made man and that a man should be still God they are ashamed for that he would be like them and they abhor themselves that they are notwithstanding so unlike him they therefore long for holiness knowing that it is the greatest and chiefest happiness it making them like unto him holy as he is holy pure as he is pure and perfect as he is perfect though not so perfectly or purely holy 50. All such as love God thus love themselves for True love in loving ones self or loving ones elf truly him that is would himself for himself his love to love him his fear to fear him his honour to honour him his knowledge to know him his wisdom to please him his goodness to be good his justice to be just his holiness to be holy his greatness greatly to exalt his power and his might to be mighty in power for him his mercy to be mercifull as he is mercifull for being by him Created for himself unto good works they would that all their works were good and all for him to live to him in him and for him for ever and for ever thus if they love themselves 't is for him it is to be his and to do his will on earth whilst on earth as they shall in Heaven when in Heaven 51. And all such are all True love inloving ones Neighbour or loving ones Neighbour truly full of true love for all their Neighbours and their Neighbours are all Men far and near Jew and Gentile bond and free all have their love they love all their condition makes no condition with them they desire and seek and pray for their happiness as for their own they mourn for them many times when they do not mourn for themselves yea they weep much and often in secret for their secret as well as for their open sins they are ashamed on their behalf because they choose not the way of life but still walk walk on still in the ways of death they have no Enemies but all are their friends their dear and beloved yea dearly beloved friends such as hate them they love such as curse them they bless such as speak evil of them they pray for and that God would lay none of their sins to their charge they account happiness to them even as their own happiness and rejoyce with them when they do rejoyce yea they would many times willingly and cheerfully part with their joys their best joys even their spiritual joys for their sakes that they might enjoy them they would be content to be as it were in darkness sorrow and sadness that they might be in the light see the light and rejoyce in the light of God's Countenance they would that they did enjoy these joys here to be brought home by any means to enjoy them for ever hereafter for those that love God whom they never saw must do and can do no other than love their brethren whom they see daily and those likewise whom they never saw because they are also their brethren 52. Such as love not God rightly which is to love him False love to God or loving God falsly as God love him for the Loaves not for his love for themselves not for himself for themselves alone or chiefly and not chiefly which is alone for himself they love him because they have need of him his love is lovely not because it is in him or because it is his love and for that it makes him thus lovely as to be only lovely and desirable but they love his love because it is in him for them they love him for Heaven much more than Heaven for him they do not love him because he hath so loved them as to make them lovely and forgiving them of his own love to love him in and with true love 't is not love that they truly love or value as it is love but as it is profitable a love bringing profit it frees from pain and gives ease it keeps from poverty and maketh rich because it delivers from dishonour and disgrace and graceth them and brings them much honour because it lifts them up above others and for that others are set below them they are the head and others are but the feet and because they have power over them and they obey their power going where ever they bid them coming when ever they call them and do what ever and all that they command them if God continue to give them thus his gifts and all that their hearts desire they will prize his love and desire his love and choose his love and delight in his love and love his love yea and serve him for his love but it is with an eye-service having an eye to this recompence of reward in the flesh and for the sake of the flesh they love not God as he is God and because he is God all good and only good but because he is a God thaâ— doth them this good which he so much loveth liketh prizeth chooseth and prayeth for were he not thus good unto him he would not think him good nor believe him to be good thus are they fleshly carnal loving the things of the flesh the things they see and enjoy and not the things which they see not nor cannot see which they enjoy not nor cannot be here enjoyed but should hope for 't is not a Heaven in Heaven nor a Heaven coming down from Heaven but a Heaven on earth an earthly Heaven yea a Heaven of earth that they desire choose and pray for and would that it were ever yea ever and for ever their Heaven thus 't is not God that they love because he is God but 't is themselves themselves they love as God chiefly most of all beyond all things and above all things and therefore they love not God at all because they love him not as God who is the supream chief Soveraign superiour and only good happiness felicity peace rest riches honour pleasure joy and blessedness 53. This is false Love though it be for our selves False love to ones self or loving ones self falsly
Wisdom so as to know what the mind and will of God is and to discern the great mysteries of his Salvation and to know God in the Spirit 183. This Spirit assureth him of his Eternal Election being the Divine and Eternal purpose of God by Jesus Christ we have an access by one Spirit unto the Father 184. This Spirit witnesseth unto him that hath it his effectual Calling his Adoption Justification Sanctification and Glorification and makes him to cry Abba Father and to come boldly unto his glorious Throne of grace and gracious Throne of glory and to say with Thomas my Lord and my God and with Paul I know whom I have believed and whom I love and therefore saith boldly as Peter Lord thou knowest that I love thee 185. This spirit of God leads him by the hand and directs him how he shall walk and tells him what he shall do and suffers him not to go aside either to the right hand or to the left of honours riches or pleasures it makes him to esteem all these things below as earthly low things even as nothing for the whole world is much too little for him is not enough to satisfie please or content him for he looks on its all even as nothing at all as dirt dung and dross he is content in all Estates and Conditions for he knows both how to want and how to abound and with St. Paul to say as sorrowfull yet always rejoycing as poor yet making many rich as having nothing yet possessing all things for Christ is his exceeding gain his Heavenly riches his true treasure he hath now learnt to know Christ and him Crucified and therefore rejoyceth only in the Cross of Christ and saith I have none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Christ is now only his all and his all to him to live is Christ he mindeth none but Christ nor nothing but Christ and what he hath done for him he so loveth and delighteth in him as he is become all his talk all day long and his meditations and songs in the night if he sleeps yet he talks with him so that sleeping as well as waking he desires to have him in his thoughts and never to have his thoughts off from him and his sleep he accounts not sweet if he have had no Conversation with him by Communication and as soon as he is awake he is before his eyes and he presently recollects and recounts his mercies and delighteth in that he oweth him more and more for though he oweth him so much yet he longs to owe him as much more and though he cannot pay him any thing yet he is not ashamed every moment to ask him all things and nothing less than all things which is himself will content him and though he have his word and promise for it yet he will have his seal also and when he hath both sign and seal yet he must have it daily yea hourly yea as it were every moment if he could and though he accounts that he hath nothing so sure yet he would always have him assure him of it not that he doubts at all of his word or promise but that he might always bear in mind this his sweet and gratious promise to sweeten all other sowers of afflictions and temptations and to imbitter all other worldly and fleshly sweets he is so wedded unto him as he is never at rest nor ease if he do not always behold him if he do not always smile upon him if he do not still speak peace unto him if he do not in all places cause the light of his blessed Countenance to shine upon him he is so in love with him and so loveth him as if he could he would willingly think of no other speak of no other nor act for no other he would most willingly spend his all and be all spent for him and follow him wheresoever he goeth though it were to be banisht imprisoned and made the poorest vilest and contemptiblest of men yea though it should bring sickness and death he is much grieved for that he hath so little to lose for him he accounts his life and all not any thing at all not worth the offering unto such a God as he is that hath done so much as he hath done for him Ah when he afresh considers hereof how afresh doth his grief and sorrow begin and most because he cannot grieve and sorrow as he would he is so wounded afresh with his new old love or his old new love as now he finds nothing lovely in himself to witness his love unto him he cannot do for him the half that he would do and Ah how is he troubled that he doth and is able to do so little for him that he loveth so much Ah how willing is he and how willingly would he do his whole and holy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven and would be as willingly Sanctified as Glorified this his imperfection causeth him to long for perfection and this his holiness in part to long to be dissolved to enjoy for ever perfect holiness but though he be thus tossed on the restless waves of tentation tryal and affliction this spirit of God that dwelleth and abideth in him assureth him that all these things are tokens of Gods love and come from him in love and therefore he is content for that he knows that his Lord and Master Christ Jesus is touched with the feeling of his infirmities and was in all points like unto him yet without sin 186. This spirit comforts him when he is comfortless and binds up his broken heart heals his wounded heart visits his sick heart gives feeling to his senceless heart life to his dead heart faith to his doubting heart hope to his despairing heart speaks peace to his disconsolated and afflicted heart and gives understanding sence memory and reason unto his distracted heart 187. He that hath this spirit he is grieved to see Christ dishonoured by any and to see him blasphemed and evill spoken of is to throw durt and dung in his face mens dishonest and filthy lives and conversation make his soul to melt his heart to quake his ears to tingle and to gnash his teeth for grief he goeth mourning all the day long and lamenteth with a most bâ—ttâ—r lamentation to hear the mockings of God and his Word because this is to Crucifie his Jesus afresh and to put him again to open shame 188. For he that hath this spirit rejoyceth to hear the name of God and of Christ magnified and praised to hear him well spoken of causeth his heart to leap within him as the Babe did in Elizabeths Womb for he loves those that love him and honours those that honour him and such only he accounteth his Father and Mother his Brothers and Sisters that do the will of God his Father which is in Heaven for he esteemeth only the true Christian to be wise
he that hath him not is heir of nothing but what is worth nothing and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing and therefore all that he is sure of is surely nothing but a very nothing 219. For what man hath to day to morrow flies away 220. Ah Lord my Lord give me I most humbly beseech thee that which will endure for ever and not that which perisheth ever 221. That O Lord that which cannot be destroyed and not that O Lord not that which will destroy me unless it be destroyed by thee 222. Give me first O Lord give me first a heart according to thine own heart and then I am sure I shall use the World not as I would but as thou wilt 223. Were I as certain to go to Hell which God forbid as I am certain through the merits of Jesus Christ to go to Heaven I would whil'st I should be on earth walk in the ways to Heaven and never go out of them till God had cast me into Hell 224. O Lord that knowest all things thou knowest O Lord God thou knowest how I love thy Laws and how I delight to walk in thy ways and to keep thy Commandments with my whole heart faithfully thou knowest O Lord is all the delight and joy of my heart yea my hearts only joy and delight 225. Blessed be God though I have many years tasted fed on and lived in the pleasures of sin and but few years in the sweet delights and pleasures of grace yet I am well content and willing to lose to cast off and utterly and for ever to forsake all sins sweets for graces bitter all sins robes for graces raggs and all sins pleasures and honours for Christs dishonour for I am now henceforth resolved to be Christs Servant ever and sins never Ah never never 226. Blessings are in the Prov. 30. 6. Add thou not unto his words lest he reprove thee and thou be found a lyar mouth and they proceed from the heart of him that feareth the Lord. 227. But curses come from him that knoweth him not 228. He that is wise in his own conceit is a Fool. 229. The Righteous man blesseth and is never weary of so doing but the wicked curseth and is always empty as Hell 230. Shame shall fall on him that wisheth mischief to his Neighbour without a cause 231. But glory and honour shall be the portion of him that loveth him 232. If thine Enemy sin rebuke him but let not thy countenance go along with him 233. He that feareth the Lord no evil shall befall him for he is kept safe 234. Wisdome glory and honour is the portion of him that waiteth at his Gates 235. Behold him that loveth the Lord and thou shalt see all his works to prosper 236. Regard not the evil of affliction on him that submitteth himself thereunto for it shall prove the joy of his heart 237. Gladness is always iâ— the heart of him that loveth Righteousness because he feareth always 238. As hony is to the tast so is holiness to him that loveth Righteousness 239. Dwell in peace and Gods love shall abide with thee 240. Be watchful over all thy ways so shall all thy doings prosper 241. Glad the heart of the Mourner and thou shalt anoynt him with sweet Oyl 242. Rejoyce thou in the day of affliction and let thy heart be merry for the Lord hath heard thy vows 243. Give thy self up to learn his Wisdome and refuse not his teachings when they come upon thee 244. Bind them upon thy shoulders lean upon them with thy whole might and they shall support thee 245. Grieve not the spirit of thy God who delighteth in thee 246. Give thy heart to know him so shalt thou be filled with his praises 247. Learn his ways and go not out of his paths for he delighteth to delight thee 248. Ah love him with thy whole heart and mind that all thy days may be the days of joy and gladness 249. Where ever the Lord is there is bountifulness and peace that passeth all understanding 250. Lean upon him and he shall support thee give up all thine all that is thy care unto him and he shall provide for thee things that shall never fail 251. He that hath him hath life and shall never see death 252. Wilt thou be merry give him thine heart let him direct it and follow him wheresoever he leadeth thee 253. His ways are ways of pleasure and his paths bring home to live with himself 254. Joy is in his Gates and no mourners come nigh him 255. He filleth the empty he watereth the dry and thirsty ground there is no want where he reigneth 256. Rejoyce then in the day of thy trouble and let thy heart be merry for he heareth all thy groanings and will compassionate thy bewailings 257. Let him alone strive not for all thy doings without him are as the puff of a wind which is not seen 258. He that submitteth to his ways shall find his doings advantagious for he knoweth of what we are made and all things that come from him bring joy where he is the giver 259. His mercies are as the Sun they dispel the Clouds of afflictions and warm the heart with the fire of love 260. He can do what he listeth there is none can hold his strong arm but all must bend when he commands 261. Trust then in the Lord who is thy strength and in the holy one of Israel who hath given himself to thee and for thee he will provide for thee he will satisfie all the desires of thy soul and cause thy heart mightily to rejoyce in his goodness and to triumph in all and over all things that come upon thee for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it and he will do it according to the former promises of his holy Spirit made unto thee in the day of thy straights and wants 262. Praise thou the Lord for great is his goodness towards thee and his loving kindness hath no end 263. This is thy Portion from the Almighty Amen Amen 264. Praise his holy name live for ever in his love dwell in peace 265. O Lord I know that thou hearest not my Prayers for their worthiness but they are worthy because thou hearest them 266. I am not worthy for any worthiness that is in me but for thy worthiness O my Jesus and my good God that flows from thy exceeding bounty into me 267. I know that thou dost not love me O Lord for any loveliness that is in me or because I love thee but I love thee O my Lord who art my God because thou knowest me 268. And because that thou dost love me now I know that thou did'st love me ever and therefore wilt love me ever even unto the end and yet I know well that there is nor shall be no end of thy love it is endless for ever and for ever 269. Thy love O Lord I know is like thy self nay thy
and to do his will willingly 79. Ah Lord my only grief and trouble is because I keep not thy Laws and for that I have not regard to thy Commandments as I would 80. Ah that I were even as a barren wilderness to bear no fruit for my self and as a dry Spring to give no refreshment to my self to my own self that is my flesh Ah that I were as it were liveless and loveless to my self that I might only live to love and adore thee my God my God 81. What is my life or my self if it be not spent for thee and what are all my daies if I walk not only and altogether that is always in all thy ways 82. Were it not and would it not be much better for me that I were not and that I never had been if I be not O Lord thine and if I live not to thee and for thee to thy praise and for thine honour and glory 83. Beautiful are all thy ways O God they are most yea they are only desireable 84. He that walketh in them without wavering turning aside or going astray shall assuredly at last come to his journeys end to his long home to that harbour and haven of rest happiness eternal felicity and blessedness 85. To think on any thing out of or besides God brings no true solace joy savour or content 86. But to think on him as we ought how easily and quietly doth it dispel all other thoughts making us to see them as they are naked empty nothing 87. Thoughts on God fill the soul with joy delight and pleasure above and as it were even beyond end and measure 88. Good thoughts if they did no other good than keep out evil thoughts were they are they not to be accounted prized and valued as a great good 89. Thy presence O Lord at all times filleth me with all delights and pleasures and thy absence emptieth me even of all 90. When I have thee O Lord I have all I would have Ah but when I want thee I want all even all that my soul desireth that it doth love or crave 91. As I have and according as I have thee O Lord God so are my joys and according as I want thee so are my sorrows and grief 92. Thy drawing near doth not only comfort me and satisfie me but also ravish me But at thy departure or absence ah Lord thou knowest thou knowest how my heart quaketh trembleth and is full of doubts cares and fears 93. I cannot O Lord thou knowest I cannot live without the presence of thy holy Spirit who is my only comfort or comforter for when I want thee O Lord I want all good things yea I account nothing good 94. It is not the world that I long for or care for it is not O Lord the nether but the upper springs not the left-hand mercies but the right-hand not the footstool but the Throne favours that I esteem favours and mercies indeed 95. O Lord my Lord and my God do thou I beseech thee so possess my heart that I may only be possest with thee 96. O Lord be thou pleased so to live in me that I may only and always live to thee and for thee 97. Give O Lord give so thy self to me as I may give my self to thee 98. When I want thee my God who art my all and my only good I want all even all But when I have thee O Lord thou knowest my heart saith it hath all it hath all it hath all I would have all that it doth think on or desire or crave 99. How much nothing O Lord is all other things to thee And how much above all things O Lord art thou to me 100. Give me then thy self O Lord my Lord and I will always chearfully say I have all and that I desire nothing else at all but unless thou dost O Lord my God give me thy self thy only and thy very very self thou knowest that all things seem to me and are esteemed by me even as nothing as dirt as dung as dross 101. Thou knowest O God my God that I cannot live without thee and I desire only to live to live in thee to thee and for thee 102. Ah that I were dead to all things and all things dead to me that I might only be alive to thee 103. Oh that all things would take themselves wings and fly from me that I might not be kept back from flying up to thee my God my God 104. In thee O Lord there is true rest a rest of peace in truth but out of thee O God there is no rest for the soal of the foot of my soul 105. I cannot rest but on thy breast I cannot live but in thy Love I cannot walk but in thy way I cannot joy but in thy day I cannot run but unto thee I cannot see but only thee I cannot joy but in thy love I am not well but when above O God my God take me to thee That no other I ever see For seeing thee I see that all That ever was and ever shall That glorious Sun that blessed light That shews to go by day and night That giveth all things unto all That ever were and ever shall To thee O God and thy Great Name Be ever praise laud and great fame From this time forth for ever more Thy self thy love I will adore 106. How sweet O God Oh God how sweet are thy Sweets 107. Oh happy condition to enjoy thee O God whatever my condition be 108. O Heavenly heart that is always in Heaven meditating on thee God the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 109. Oh happy he that hath always Heaven in his mind that minds only Heaven and the things that are in Heaven 110. Such Ah such a heart O Lord who art the Lord of Heaven and Earth give me that my heart may be according to thine own heart yea that my heart may be in thine and thine in mine that thou mayest O Lord God so empty thy self into me that I may for ever and for ever be emptied into thee and filled by thee with thee 111. O Ocean of all goodness continue to shower into me the abundant showers yea floods of thine infinite good even as thou hast heretofore many many ah many times done that I may rejoyce and be glad in them as well when I have them not and feel them not as when I feel I have them 112. Ah Lord my Soveraign Lord and God my Superior and Supream good the good that is only able to glad me and to make me rejoyce fill me Ah fill me O Lord with these goods and good things that flow out continually from thee that I may see thy goodness thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary 113. Ah the true satisfactory soul-ravishing Joys to enjoy thee O God and those Joys that thou givest away away far from me all earthly Joys earths Joys for ye are but earth and
the children of God rather than commit the pleasures of sin for a season rather than in the least displease thy Christ thy Jesus thy God thy good thy Saviour and thy Redeemer for a moment much rather by much suffer the afflictions due to sin than sin and suffer no affliction for surely a Saints greatest affliction is sin sin is the very worst of Hell to him that makes God his best Heaven the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 98. Dost thou feel thy heart heartily to long for the knowledge of God and all his ways to love fear serve honour and obey him And dost thou find that all that thou dost is nothing to what thou would'st and desirest and longest to do Thy very best is too too bad thy most holy things are too too unholy and all thine all even nothing at all thou art altogether ashamed of thy self that thou art what thou art and abhorrest thy self in dust and ashes accounting thy self as thou art in thy self the vilest of Creatures the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men 99. And this causeth in thee sorrow shame grief and astonishment wondring that such a God should love such a man such a worm such a wretch such a miscreant such a dog such a sinnner yea such a devil as thou art in thy self Dost thou thus condemn thy self loath and abhor thy self and art thus truly angry with thy self and ashamed of thy self and of all thy doings and marvellest how thou canst find acceptance at such a glorious Throne of grace and gracious Throne of Glory and that God hath had so long patience and that he did not cut thee off long ago and give thee thy portion with thy brethren in Iniquity Whoremongers Drunkards Prophaners of the Sabbath with the Covetous Proud Boasters Malicious Raylers False accusers c. even with the devil and his angels and that thou dost esteem it a Heaven that thou art not now in Hell giving continual Glory to God in Christ that thou wert not consumed and cut off long ago and that he hath not given only space to repent but also grace to repent from all and every sin in thought word and deed even with repentance unto life never to be repented of 100. And if thus thou art in sincere truth I say if in truth and sincerity these or the like be thy desires endeavours life and living end and aim habitually continually and universally then art thou what thou shouldst be and what God would have thee to be assure thy self thy heart is upright clean pure holy and perfect even according to Gods own holy heart thou art a man in Christ a member of Christ and surely surely Christ will assuredly own thee for his own and always love thee and live in thee even as he doth in his own as he doth to those in whom he liveth and whom he loveth and thy life shall henceforth be hid with Christ in God so that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming in glory thou shalt also appear with him to his eternal glory and thine everlasting comfort joy and eternal salvation 101. And therefore O man of God child of God son of God and servant of the eternal and ever living God chear up thy self and rejoyce yea I say evermore rejoyce for God is thy God and thy Father thy Portion thy Lot and thine Inheritance thou art surely his and he is as surely thine and Christ Jesus will be also thine all all thine the way the truth and the life to bring thee unto and give the possession of eternal life life eternal which he hath prepared for thee by his death and is preparing thee for it by his life for he lives to make continual intercession for thee the holy Spirit of grace the Sanctifier and the Comforter is thine he will guide thee lead thee direct thee keep thee and preserve thee unto the end even in the ways of all holiness and righteousness of peace joy comfort and consolation which are the foretasts and fore-sights of eternal life and salvation the very beginnings of the beatifical Vision of glory in glory and of those ravishing joys and pleasures prepared and laid up for the Just before the beginning of the world was which are such as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive being much ah much above all that we can ask or think for there we shall ever possess and enjoy all joys unspeakable joys yea fulness of all joys and pleasures for evermore even God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost who is all in all and in all the blessed to him alone be eternally given all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now and for ever and ever Amen Amen 102. None but the true children of God can truly love Gods children they that are his will love those that are his chiefly and most because they are his and those most that appear to be his most and those dearliest that are his dearest 103. I will much more more by much rejoyce in an obedient heart to submit unto and to do the whole and holy will of God in all cases conditions and places than to enjoy the wisdom of Solomon and all the honours riches delights and pleasures of the whole world 104. Ah Lord let my heart never be at rest until I find that it doth most willingly freely joyfully and choosingly submit and acquiesce unto all that God will be it what it will and to say of all things and in all conditions so would I have it 105. There is surely nothing so delightful unto the heart of a true Christian as to do the whole will of God holily and heartily as to please him by a sincere hearty and cheerful obedience universally 106. Ah the joys the joys the true joys the great joys yea the unspeakable joys the peace the peace the comfort the comfort the solace and the rest and quiet that is in the heart of him that feareth always from love for it destroys all servile fear and causeth such joy and gladness as passeth all understanding 107. What ah what honour is there like that as truly and sincerely to honour God! What pleasure ah what pleasure like that as always to please God! What joy ah what joy like that as always to enjoy God! What happiness ah what happiness like that comparable to that as to know him to be ours and we to be his What peace ah what peace like that as when we know our peace to be made with the God of peace through and by Jesus Christ the King and Prince of peace witnessed unto us by the continual indwelling in us of the Spirit of peace the Sanctifier of our souls and the Comforter of our hearts Ah what comfort what comfort like unto that as to find our selves in God and that great good God to be
contents me 152. Thy presence O God thy presence thy presence is much more esteemed by me by much than life and sweeter ten thousand times ten thousand than the Honey-comb of any pleasure more desirable than the finest Gold or most precious Pearls and to be preferr'd above many Rivers of Wine and Oyl 153. Heap upon me O Lord I beseech thee heaps upon heaps of these thy favours and cause these thine overflowings to cover the banks of my barrenness and filthiness that I may be comely and pleasant in thy sight and esteem 154. Fill me O Lord I beseech thee so full as that I never grow empty again of thy grace and goodness of obedience and love 155. Warm me so that I never grow cold again but let this heat of the fire of thy love burn and consume all the cold Winter frost of the weeds and roots of sin and Corruption that my soul may be as a pleasant garden for thee O Lord my King and my God to take pleasure in 156. Thou hast O God thou hast thou hast in a very great measure Turn'd the Mountains of my sins into a Valley of pleasure 157. God is my God and therefore he will be my God always so whatever temptations fall on me I will not fear them for God who is my God is stronger than all and his love is above all either in Heaven above or on Earth or Hell below 158. He that truly loves all good must truly hate all evil for love to good produceth always in all hatred to evil for there is a contrary to every thing as light is contrary to darkness therefore loving the one good we must and can do no other than hate the other which is the contrary evil 159. Having our eyes opened our understandings enlightned we then see sin in its colours as it is in it self sinful and therefore we must hate it and we can then do no other but hate it with a perfect which is sincere hatred not only leave all sin but heartily unfeignedly sincerely and with our whole hearts hate all sin and loath all sin being changed and brought out of darkness which is from sin into the marvelous light of the knowledge of the love of God we cannot being cloathed with his nature loving what he loves Holiness and Righteousness but hate what he hates which is all sin and wickedness having put Christ Jesus on we must put the other off the world flesh and Devil and all their works sticking to Christ and holding him fast we must and will and can do no other still than let go our hold to all things out of him and besides him for according as our love is to the one so our hatred will be nay is to the other they being contraries and opposite one unto another 160. He that truly loves the ways of God which is Righteousness must doth and can do no other than hate the ways of the Devil which is sin we cannot serve two such Masters it is impossible to love two such Contraries 161. By our true sincere and unfeigned hatred to the one we may see and be sure of our unfeigned sincere and true love to the other and if we thus love truly all good we love God truly which ought and should assure us that we are beloved of God yea that we are his beloved through Jesus Christ the truly beloved whom he doth and ever will love truly and us in him for his love is not yea and nay unto us but yea and in Christ yea and Amen 162. He that hath thee O God hath all and therefore he that wants thee wants all though he wants nothing else at all 163. He that possesseth thee O God possesseth surely the best possession that is or can be possest 164. He that knows thee O God hath perfect knowledge for none doth or can know thee but from and by thy holy spirit of true wisdom and knowledge all knowledge and wisdom else to this is meer foolishness 165. When we are in thee O God we are truly free free from all evil and filled with all good for all good is in thee and comes freely from thee as the Rivers from the Sea 166. Wash me make me clean O God in and by Christ that I may be pure in thy fight even as gold well refined without any dross or mixture perfectly pure pure in perfection 167. By giving we receive that is when our hearts are drawn forth sincerely to give what God hath given us I mean of spirituals God gives us what we would have yea and much above what we did ask or could think 168. When thus we beg for others to have that we may have to give Ah how good gracious and bountiful is the Lord unto us in giving of us according to our hearts desires even the very desires of our hearts 169. When thus we desire grace to impart it unto others how agreeable unto God are our desires how Ah how doth he regard us and reward us 170. When thus we are beggers for others God maketh us rich with the treasures of Heaven with that true riches which will make us rich for ever which is grace here and glory hereafter 171. When thus we mind others good and welfare as our own making their case ours sympathising with them both in their good and evil in their present and future happiness then we shew forth that we live in God and that God liveth in us for where true love is God is for love is God and God is love 172. When we feel want in our Brethrens wants and are filled with what they are filled bearing their burthens of grief and sorrow with them it shews that we are of one heart and of one mind that we are Brethren if we have thus compassion one of another 173. And when we make their joys our joys it shews plainly that there is one spirit in us even the spirit of the love of God which is Christ Jesus our Lord who leadeth us in his paths and teacheth us to practise what he hath commanded us and his Children we are whom we obey whether of sin unto death or of Righteousness unto life By their works ye shall know as God who are his 174. When thus we are unto others what we are unto our selves it sheweth plainly that we are members of Christs mystical body and that he is our head 175. When thus we agree and sympathise in one anothers honour and dishonour sorrows and joys we shew forth that we are not two but one and this oneness sheweth also that we are one in Christ that he liveth in us and that we live in him that he is ours and that we are his 176. And when Christ thus owneth us for his own we may be sure that when he cometh at his second and sudden coming in glory we shall also appear with him and be made like him glorious as he is glorious though not so glorious 177. He
Heavenly Eternal and Incomprehensible Glorious Lord God the God and Father of all mercies and of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ I thy poor and unworthy creature despicably poor blind and naked and out of Christ I confess and acknowledge that I have nothing wherewith to cover my nakedness and deformity but unclean filthy raggs my own righteousness being unrighteousness my own obedience being disobedience my own worthiness being unworthiness so that all my all is even nothing at all and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing I see now and know my self to be a most miserable wretch the chiefest and the greatest of all sinners yea the very worst of the worst of all the sons of Adam dry bones rottenness filthiness barrenness uncleanness naughtiness emptiness unsavoury salt a well without water a broken cistern that can hold no water impurity unholiness all evil and altogether all evil always without and within in Spirit Soul and Body all my thoughts words and actions and that continually I sincerely confess and proclaim unto thee O God and before Angels and Men that there is nothing in me as I am in my self which doth or can deserve the least of all thy mercies not the least look of Love not the least smile nor glance of one of thine eyes O Lord in favour nor to be admitted to look up to Heaven or call thee O God Father nor to expect the least admittance into thy glorious presence Thou mayest O God thou mayest most justly reprove and reproach me openly and take all my Prayers Petitions and what else soever and as dung throw them in my face to my everlasting shame and confusion and to thine own honour glory and praise thy judgment would be just right and good and all both good and bad must and would applaud thee for it and my own soul and Conscience would say Amen thereunto for there is not any of thy Divine Commandments and most holy laws but I have broken again and again wittingly willingly knowingly and presumptuously I have often cast thy precepts behind my back and trampled them under my feet I have often O God I confess I have often turned thy grace into wantonness quencht the sweet and blessed motions of thy holy Spirit hated to be reformed chose the ways of Hell death and destruction for Body and Soul and run knowingly and wilfully out of the ways of Heaven bliss and everlasting rest and happiness I would not that thou shouldest reign over me who art the Lord of Life and Glory I have prophan'd thy house thy Sanctuary thine Ordinances thy Word and Sacraments Thus even thus and a thousand times worse have I rebelliously and traiterously acted against thy Soveraignty and Power though I knew that thou wert Lord over all and above all even God blessed for ever and for ever by whom I did live move and had my being Ah Lord I know well that thou knowest all that I have ever done against thee or would have done I know well that nothing is or can be hid from thee thou seest into the dark corners and crannies of our hearts thoughts and affections thou knowest what I am and what I would be and how I should have â—hus continued unto my lives end hadst â—hou not in love and mercy pull'd me out of the everlasting burning as a brand out of the fire if thou hadst not O God come in â—o my help and succour the Devil had devoured me the Devil had destroyed me for ever and for ever for I was his captive his vassal his slave I did his will I obeyed his commands I did even run when he â—id me go But ever praised be thy transcendent glorious name O God of all goodness and Father of Love mercy and compassion that wert pleased to make my calamity and extremity thine opportunity that then even then when thou sawest that all help out of thy self was in vain thou shouldest be pleased to come and succour me and set me free to break the fetters and chains by which I was led as a most miserable Caitif and Captive almost into Hell it self thou hast O God thou hast broken the snares and I am escaped thou hast delivered my Soul from death and my Songs shall be to praise thee whilst I live I will praise thee O Lord my deliverer and never keep silence rather would I that my tongue should cleave to the roof of my mouth than not declare the mercies and the loving kindness of thee my God to my poor Soul and I trust as well as pray and beseech thee O my God and Father in Jesus Christ that thou wilt daily put new Songs of praise into my mouth and that thou wilt in some measure enable me to speak fitly worthily and opportunely of thy gratious dealings towards me that those that hear and know thee may with me labour to be more affected and delighted with thee and prize thee yet at a far higher prize and that others that hear and know thee not may so hear as that they may resolve to seek thee with us and may see thee to be the fairest of ten thousand yea the only fair lovely beautiful and desirable But O incomprehensible unconceivable unexpressible goodness love and bounty the Ocean and Fountain of all bliss blessedness and happiness how can I how shall I worm I nothing I speak of thee and of thy gratious dealings unto my poor Soul O the heighth depth length and breadth of thy Love it is as the Heavens for heighth as Hell for depth as Eternity for length and as from Everlasting to Everlasting for breadth nay all this is far short of it it is much more than all this by much for it is thy self O God thy only self thy very self that thou hast given me thy Kingdom and thy Glory and not only in Heaven hereafter but even now now hast thou done this for my poor unworthy Soul having often fed feasted and solaced my Soul with those ravishing joys that thou hast laid up and prepared for those that unfeignedly love thee thou hast in thy goodness bounty and love often caused me to tast of that hidden Manna that bread of Life and to drink of those Rivers of pleasures that flow from thine own right hand thou hast many times as it were carried my Soul into that mountain of happiness where I have seen thy glorious back parts thy gratious transcendent goodness and have beheld in the Spirit the Celestial Canaan the new Jerusalem the City of God even God in Man communicating himself unto him for Christ the hope of glory is in us dwells in us and makes his abode there which is thy Tabernacle O God thou hast not only given him for us on the Cross but thou continually continuest to give him unto us to crucifie our sins and sinfull lusts and affections in us to put them to death that he himself may live and reign and rule in us that we may
knowledge to know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent which thou hast I praise thee in some measure caused me to know to my Everlasting comfort thus even thus I am sure O God is thy good will and pleasure that I Communicate and forget not what thou hast in so much love Communicated unto me impart unto them all that thou hast imparted unto me And I praise thy goodness O God for that thou hast given me a heart in some measure heartily to desire it and longingly and lovingly to embrace with much comfort joy and content all occasions whatsoever to do it unto all without any respect of Persons to the poorest and meanest Creature according to the flesh as well as unto the highest in degree and honour among men and that their Conditions blessed be thy Name makes no condition with me for I account my self in very truth Servant and Debtor unto all both bond and free young and old and would with all my heart and soul do for any of them what thou requirest and commandest yea methiâ—ks I would give them what I have and be without it that they might have it I would be hungry and thirsty and poor and naked to feed refresh cloath and make rich their souls I would most sincerely and willingly that they had all of them a double Portion of the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit which thou hast given me to the end it might be well with them and they might doubly praise thee Ah Lord Stamp on their hearts the seal of thy Divine love hide them under thy most sacred and glorious pavilion that they may be kept safe from the evil day and from the evil one who continually seeketh to devour them swallow them up O Lord into thy self that they may be ever secure dart O God a beam of thy Divine love that by its reflection they may have love to love thee again as thou lovest them not as to measure or degree that I know well is in none either on earth or in Heaven nor cannot be the most blessed Saints Angels Archangels Cherubins and Seraphims were the love of all those lovely blessed and glorious Creatures emptied into one alone then even I know his would come short of thine of thy love O God to that Creature whom thou lovest in the least degree to Salvation for thy love is the love of a God who is love that would be but the love of a Creature thine would be from thy self alone that would be from thee and given by thee so that the love which in sincere love I thus in Jesus Christ beg of thee for them is that they may have true love for thee and thine continually that it may continue with them and in them unto the end till that thou shalt so fill them with that first choice and chief grace that they all may be as thou art in a degree all love Ah Lord God confound I pray thee the wisdom of the wise I mean thou knowest the worldly wise bring down their pride and stain their glory such as will go about to condemn what they cannot mend and to marr what they cannot make turn O God their wisdom as thou did'st Achitophel's into foolishness but preserve them unto the end from such a like end and open the eyes of their understanding that they may see and acknowledge the errors of their ways and come speedily out of them and before ever converted unto thee that their souls may ever live with thee Ah Lord God what a most pitiful thing is it and of all things to be lamented with and in tears of blood that any poor soul should either live or dye in sin that a soul which is of much more value than ten thousand worlds should be for ever lost and undone for such a base vile filthy thing as is sin the very excrements of naughtiness and by which O God thou that art worthy of all honour art so much dishonoured and the Devil so much honoured Ah how is it to be pittied and dolefully lamented that so many poor souls should believe lyes and the Father of lyes the Devil before thy word and thy self who art the God of all truth and love how great Ah how great was thy love O God to save poor lost sinners in sparing and giving thy own only dear and beloved Son to the most shameful and most painful death of the Cross to redeem them from sin death Hell and the Devil and hast thou not promised with him to give them all things And Ah how great was thy love O most sweet Jesus who did'st so willingly submit to thy Fathers will and for the glory which was set before thee for us sinners did'st cheerfully endure the Cross and despise the shame and so sits down at the right hand of thy Father to prepare there a place for us and by thy continual intercession to prepare us for that place and this thy sitting down in glory at his right hand shews plain that thou hast done all that is to be done that can be required all as thou said'st when thou gavest up the Ghost is surely finished our Redemption fully wrought and compleated thy Fathers wrath appeased and he well pleased Ah Christ with and in all humility of heart I speak it thou had'st this spirit in thee thou did'st even as it were thus complain ye will not come to me that ye may have life and did'st weep for and over Jerusalem because her day of salvation was past and thy holy spirit in the mouth of thy Prophet complaineth and as it were lamenteth their sad condition saying Ah why will you dye O House of Israel And further how often doth this thy gracious and blessed spirit O God leave as it were thy bosome and comes and sues and wooes us that he may sanctifie and make us chosen and fit Vessels for thy use Ah Lord thou knowest how often such like considerations have sadened my soul that thou who art the God of truth should'st be thought by so many as it were a lyer for thy Word is not believed by them but made as a thing of nought trampled under foot and cast behind the back and Drunkards Whoremongers and such vile persons words be received entertain'd taken up welcom'd and preferr'd before thee O God before thee and thy Word and all thy most gracious offers of grace Now if such by thy good and gracious Providene come to read these words or of that which thou hast made me to write I humbly pray thee in Jesus Christ thy Son to pity him and pardon him Ah fetch home O God all wandering Prodigals that are in far Countries that is far from thee seeding on Hogs and Harlots which is on their own fleshly Carnal Lusts and vile affections Ah Father I know thee to be full of love and compassion Ah be thou pleased to do for all such as thou hast done for me for such was
that I fare deliciously and am â—ayed more gloriously then if I were with â—rple scarlet and fine linnen 83. To do thy work O God is the wagâ— I desire and which will and shall ever coâ—tent me 84. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thoâ— hast given me a heart to be willing to paâ— from all things most willingly so I mighâ— part from all sin also 85. Dispose of all things as thou wilt â— God do but only leave me thy self in poâ—session 86. All good thoughts come in love â— God from thee to me but woe me mâ—serable me for that all evil thoughts comâ— from my self in hatred to thee 87. Good Lord make my heart and aâ— my thoughts such that I may be only sucâ— and always such as thou would'st have nâ— to be 88. Do thou O Christ live and reign bâ— thy power and might in me that the mighâ— power and reign of Sin may be cast out me 89. Let not the things of the Worlâ— put thee O Lord out of my mind nor sâ— out of my heart to abhor it 90. Give me O Lord grace and powâ— to Conquer and cast out all worldly lusts aâ— affections out of my heart that there be place for thee and thee only to dwell iâ— my sweet Jesus 91. Grant O Lord that I may esteem the â—orlds gifts without thee my Sâ—viour as â—e Devils gifts that will destroy me 92. Grant O Lord that I may ever beâ—eve and esteem my best duties and perforâ—ances as from my self to deserve noâ—ing but shame and confusion being but as â—lthy rags and a menstrous cloath and â—at I am less and less worth at the best then â—e least of all thy mercies 93. Nothing but thy blood O Lord can â—ash me nothing but thy death could satisâ—ie for me nothing but thy resurrection can â—aise me and nothing but thy living can â—hake me live 94. Let thy blessed Ordinances O Lord be more delightfull to me then my meat and drink and sweeter to my tast then the hony â—nd the hony-comb let them much more please me then the pleasures of Egypt which â—re but for a season 95. I had much rather have nothing of â—he world and hate it then all the world â—nd love it 96. I had rather be the poorest in the world then the richest as for my own good and profit alone 97. I am more afraid of honour then of dishonour of riches then of poverty of high degree then of low degree of applause then of contempt or scorn of health the of sicknesâ— and of my life then of my death yet I know that God is all and in all these therefore I will fear neither for I know thaâ— that which he giveth is the best and I shaâ— profit best by it 98. Ah that I had so much grace as to bâ— always able to meditate on the love anâ— sweetness that is in my Saviour I woulâ— not leave that blessed condition of Communion with him one hour to gain all thaâ— the world hath to give 99. Surely If I could always think oâ— my Saviour I would willingly always thinâ— on him I would not only have him in aâ— my thoughts but I would have him be aâ— my thoughts 100. One moments Communion with thâ— Spirit of grace were to be preferr'd incomparably above all the pleasures and sweets oâ— sin though their end were not bitter buâ— sweet 101. I would willingly lose all that â— have of the world if so be I could lose the thoughts of it likewise 102. I would much rather have not any thing of the world and be not of the world then have all it hath and be of it 103. I cannot be poorer then to have the world and love it nor richer then to be without the world and hate it 104. Though I cannot remember what I â—ould yet I remember well I never did or I do not do what I would 105. I had rather say nothing then my â—wn words when I speak by Prayer or any â—ther way unto God 106. Oh blessed Spirit Sanctifie my â—houghts and my words when I take upon â—e to speak unto the People of God 107. Oh sweet Jesus present I most humbly beseech thee my prayers and my self unto thy Father that he may receive â—nd accept of both through thy merits â—nd mediation 108. O God my God give me grace so â—o live as I may be always ready willing â—nd rejoyce to dye let thy time be my time whether it be sleeping or waking on thy day or on ours whil'st I am doing thy work or mine own thy time and thy will â—e done O Lord not mine 109. O Lord let me never leave sighing â—or sin till I leave sinning 110. Let sin O Lord be much more bitter unto me after repentance then it was sweet before repentance 111. Let me O Lord esteem any death much sweeter then the bitter life of any sin though it live but a moment in me 112. Give me O Lord any afflictiâ— unless that which I cannot bear sin 113. Let me live so long here O Lorâ— till I am utterly dead to all sin and sin deâ— to me and then Lord take me to thy sâ— when thou wilt that I may live for ever thee and with thee 114. O Lord though thou give me pâ—verty and Contempt with the grace of coâ—tent I shall be as rich and as honourabâ— as I desire 115. Take my thoughts O Lord froâ— the World and then take the world froâ— me as soon as thou wilt 116. Give me O Lord so much grace love thee that it may extinguish all othâ— loves that are in me 117. Make me O Lord thy Servant aâ— let me know it and I will never desire nâ— ask any other Honour or Condition 118. I would much rather have Christ me and doubt it then not in me and bâ—lieve it rather such true sorrow then suâ— false joy 119. If Christ were not in Heaven would not desire to be there my desiâ— should be to be where Christ should be 120. Let me so love thee O Lord as may always fear thee and so fear thee â— I may ever unfeignedly love thee let theâ— â—wo graces be never sever'd from me nor I â—rom them 121. Let no sin keep me from thee but â—et every and all sins drive me unto thee for I know that thou art a God pardoning all Sins and Blasphemies all iniquities and transgressions of such as repent and resolve to do so no more and I know that thou art my God and Father in Jesus Christ 122. Love me then so O Lord my God I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ as to keep me unspotted that is from sinning against thee either in thought word or deed wittingly or willingly 123. Let thy Mercies O Lord my Lord and my good God so draw me and thy Judgments so drive me as I may never be at rest nor quiet until I come to have quiet rest between thy breasts my dear my sweet and saving
heart wiâ— out untill thy locks were wet with the dewâ— â—aven and when I was most pitiless then â—'st thou most pity me and took'st me from â— self and out of the power of all my adverâ—ies and did'st enter with forceable possession â—o my heart there to lodge sup and dwell â— ever tho' thou foundest it to be more unâ—an then a dunghill and is not this enough â—cause all the Creatures in Heaven and Earth â— stand amazed and with wonder and aâ—ishment to admire the condescension of so great God as thou art Ah Lord God what could I more desire nay â—at couldst thou do more for me then thou hast â—e to bring me out of the death of sin to the â— of grace out of the suburbs of Hell into â— suburbs of Heaven methinks Ah me â—ks I may truely say out of Hell it self â— Heaven it self such a vast difference there â— such a blessed and glorious change there is â—eady blessed and ever magnified and praisâ—e thy ever blessed great and most gloriâ— name of Jehovah my strength and my â—tion Thou hast not only O Lord delivered me â— of the pawes of that roaring Lyon the â—il who had almost devoured me but hast â—en me of thine own power and strength to â— come him to trample him under my feet â— to despite him to his very face thou hast â—vered unto me his falseness and malice and the wickedness and the deceitfulness of my â— deceitfull wicked heart thâ—â— did thus beâ— me Ah Lord what can I such a poor wretcâ— I am render unto thee for all thy benefits I a worm and no man the greatest and â— chiefest of sinners the very worst of the â— of men O Lord accept of what I have to gâ— thee of these two poor mites my soul and bâ— true O Lord I confess and acknowledge â— they are not worthy to be put into thy â— Treasury but if thou wilt be pleased to stâ— on them the glorious Image of thy Son Jâ— Christ I am sure they will pass for our â—coyn in thy Heavenly Court and thou â— own self wilt esteem them of thy peculiar Tâ— sure O Lord set me as a seal upon thy â— and let thy love be setled upon mine tâ— may be out of love with all that I may beâ—ly in love with thee and let all my menâ— and faoulties be but as instruments to act holy and blessed motions Ah Lord God good as great and greâ— good when wilt thou by thine Almighty pâ—utterly destroy and root out all sin out of me â— shall the time O Lord come that it shaâ— Crucified unto me and I unto it when shalâ— time come that I shall see it no more when the time come that thou wilt O Lord givâ— a finall Victory over it and totally destrâ— â—hen Lord shall come that blessed day whereâ— I shall not sin when I shall put off sin as an â— garment and never more put it on when â— tears fears sighs and groans for sins â—ll be expell'd and extinguished when thou O â—rd my sweet and blessed Jesus shalt only be â— all and my all But grant good Lord though sin be in my â—rt that my heart be not in sin and though â— rule over me as a Tyrant let it Ah let it â—ver raign in me a moment as a Soveraign â—d though I cannot live without sin yet good â—rd for thy goodness sake let me live without â—senting unto delighting in or approving of â—y sin whatsoever either in thought word or â—d but let there be always and continually in â— a heedfull watchfull carefull circumâ—ct care though temptations fall on me let â— not fall into temptation but deliver me â—m all evill O thou my Father which art in â—aven and cause me to work out my Salvaâ—n with fear and trembling and to labour â—re and more to make my calling and election â—e before I go hence and be no more seen And knowing Lord that thou hast in the â—ndance of thy love and mercy provided for â— a Kingdom which cannot be shaken let me â—ve grace in my heart to come before thee and worship thee the true God wâ—â—h reverence â—d godly fear that I may always run and not grow weary and walk and not faint wâ— O Lord all thy Laws of grace in my hâ— and thy Statutes of Love in my mind by finger of thy holy and blessed Spirit that I never go astray to the right hand of pleasâ— or to the left hand of profits wean me O Lâ— from the world e're thou take me out of world and whilst I do live in the world me be dead to it and to all the things of which are the honours riches and pleaâ— thereof the lust of the flesh the lust of the and the pride of life and give me those thâ— and those things only which may make thine and onely thine that I may be alâ— thine and ever thine Teach me O Lord to use the world â— I used it not that I may not abuse it my nor thee who hast given it me to use but â— abuse give me O Lord I humbly beseech in Jesus Christ grace to be always minâ— of my last end and of the reckoning thâ— must make before thee the judge of Heâ— and Earth take away all my doubts â— and cares for the things of this life that I cast all my care on thee who carest for for the earth is thine and the fulness tâ— of grant O Lord that I may know hoâ— want and how to abound and to be alâ— content in all conditions knowing that things shall be for my greatest good and â—ugh affliction be in the night yet joy shall me in the morning grant O Lord I beseech â—ee that my last thoughts may be my best â—ughts and my last days O Lord my best â—ys grant O Lord that I may be willing lose all to gain thee and to esteem it no loss â—t great gain grant that I may be willing to â—crease that thou maist O Lord increase to â—nd and to be spent for thee and to follow â—ee the Lamb of Righteousness wheresoever â—ou goest grant that I may be as willing to â—ear the Crown of Thorns to obey thee here the Crown of Glory to praise thee hereafter â—d grant O Lord that I may be as willing suffer for thy glory as to raign with thee in â—ory and that I may desire Heaven much â—ore for thee then thee for Heaven Ah Lord I could be content with Mary to â—t at thy feet and to wash them with my tears â—nd to stand behind thee being altogether aâ—amed to come before thee how willingly â— Lord how willingly do I with Jeremy wish â—hat my head were a Fountain of water that â—ine eyes might gush out Rivers of Tears and Ah that I could with David weep continually with Magdalen abundantly and with â—eâ—er bitterly that I might give my soul no rest â—ntill I come into thy blessed Arms the blesâ—ed joyfull
that I have all that I have Ah give this mercy also to be as willing to it thee back when thou wilt have it was willing to receive it when thou g 〈…〉 it 35. When man speaks to man it take no effect but when God speaks to whatever he speaks it shall take effeâ—â— 36. Let O Lord thy speaking to and in me be effectual for the be and not for the worse of my Soul savour of life unto life and not of dâ— death of life to my Soul and of death â—y sins â—7 I had rather hear and learn one thing the wisdome of God than a thouâ— thousand from the wisdome of men â—8 Let all thy truths in me O God be firmed to me by the powerful wisdome working of thy holy Spirit â—9 God's voyce brings me always joy comforts my sad heart but man's voice seth me alwaies grief and saddens my â—ul heart â—0 I had rather be ever alone with God â— want all other things than be one day â—out him to have and gain and keep other things besides him â—1 For when God is in me then am I in â—ven but when God is not in me then I in Hell for thy presence to me Lord â—o me Heaven upon earth and thy ab 〈…〉 ce O Lord Hell upon earth 42. It is thy self O Lord thy blessed that I desire and not the desires of other desires 43. When I have thee Lord I have all desires and yet when I have thee not â—o not because I cannot desire thee 44. So impotent am I as not able to â—l or desire my own good so poor a â—etch as not of my self â—o wish my self rich so much a slave as to be content yea willing and delight to ever to be a slave yea the worst of slaves even to my own sinful lusts although I know they will if lived in drown me for ever in the pit of Eternal destruction from which good Lord ever deliver me as thou hast delivered me keep me out as thou hast hitherto kept me out and preserve me to my lives end as thou hast preserved me from the beginning that I may ever live to thee for thee and to praise thee ever and for ever 45. Thou hast in mercy O God my God brought thy self thy ever sweet blessed gracious and most glorious self to me ah bring my self in love and obedience home unto thee 46. My words Ah my words I know well are but words and the breathings of a sinfull man but thy words O my Lord I well know also that they are the breathings of a holy God 47. Grant O God my God that all my words may breath out sorrow for sin and thy words breath in me the assurance of the pardon of sin 48. For whose sins O Lord thou forgivest thou also forgettest whom thou pardonest thou wilt save for where thou lovest thou livest and wilt I am sure ever live there in love 49. To be taught by thee O God of wisdom is to be well taught make me O Lord make me I beseech thee as willing to learn of thee as thou art willing to teach me 50. And give me grace O God to retain what I shall learn of thee that I may forget what I have learnt of my self and the world 51. If Earth's sweets are so sweet to earthly minds as they prefer it to the sweet of Heaven Ah how sweet are Heavens sweets to Heavenly minds and how do they prefer it to all the sweets on earth 52. How much sweeter O my God is the honey of thy word to the tast of my inward man than the Hony-comb of the world to the tast of my outward man 53. I had much rather say nothing then my own works do nothing then my own words and have nothing then all my own desires 54. Ah Lord God give me grace to live in Heaven whilst on earth by doing thy will on Earth as it is done in Heaven 55. They are not the words of the mouth but of the heart that are agreeable and well pleasing to thy heart O my God the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts 56. He that hath his heart right all things that he doth and doth not are right dear and precious in thy sight and according to thy heart O God the giver and maker of all hearts 57. When I sleep O God thou art still by me And when I wake I am still with thee So that whether I sleep or whether I wake I am sure O Lord thou dost me never forsake 58. To believe in God is to know God to know him is to love him to love him is to fear him and to fear him is to serve him and to serve him is to obey him and to obey him is to do his will and to do his will is to give up our wills to his will and to give up our wills to his will is to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills and to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills is to have a heart according to his own heart 59. It is not what I do or can do but what I would do that best pleaseth thee my God who giveth both to will and to do 60. O Lord let not what or any thing of that I do please me until I am sure that it please thee 61. O Lord suffer me not to seek my own delight but let my delight be to delight thee who art the delight of my soul and in whom only my soul delighteth 62. If thy back parts O Lord do so much rejoyce my heart here on earth how shall thy face cause me to rejoyce in Heaven where I shall see thee face to face and know thee as thou art to be known 63. And seeing it is my only grief on earth that I have offended thee my God by sin it shall be my only joy in Heaven to praise thee for that thou art not offended with me for my sins 64. Give me O my God for Christ his sake thy Kingdom and thy Glory that I may give thee honour and glory for ever in thy Kingdom of glory 65. And till that day shall be give me grace O my sweet and saving Jesus so to watch and to wait that when thy Kingdom shall come I may rejoyce and say thy will O Lord be done and so enter into the joy of my Lord even into the Lord of my joy 66. To do thy will O God is all the thoughts and desires of my heart and will and in doing thy will is all the joys delights and ravishments of my willing heart thus made willing through thine own good will 67. I know well that it 's thou in me my dear and sweet Jesus that causeth my desires to desire thee and the heart of my soul to hunger and thirst for thee and also that giveth me boldness to speak unto thee 68. O Lord I desire nothing but what thou wilt and all that thou
wretchedness emptiness and nothingness how then O Lord am I able to know thee or to consider thee as thou art in thy self and how much thy goodness exceeds my badness thy wisdom my folly thy strength my weakness thy fulness my emptiness thine Almightiness my nothingness and yet how content am I though nothing or less worth then nothing yea to be turned even into nothing for thy sake But seeing O Lord thou hast in thy great goodness love and mercy made me thine make me now O Lord even what thou wilt and sent me whether thou wilt I am ready and willing to go and be and do and suffer yea to spend and to be spent for thee for thou knowest O Lord God if I desire to live it is to live to thee in thee and for thee to praise thee and for thy praise for to praise thee is to live and this to do only is the only desire I have to live for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave thy presence being my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell having thee O Lord I have my all but wanting thee I want all that I would have thou only art able to content to satisfie and to please me but nothing but thee nothing out of thee nothing besides thee O my God yea all things besides thee cannot give me any true pleasure delight or contentment O give me then so thy self my sweet Jesus as I may be always with thee never without thee that I may wholly give up my self unto thee to be more holy like unto thee that my heart may be according to thine own heart and that thou may'st delight thine heart O Lord to set thine heart upon me and to make me thy delight thy joy and thy Crown of glory and to love me and to do me good even with that goodness of heart with thine own goodness wherewith thou lovest thine own that my will may in all things be conformable and made subject to thy will to will all that thou willest willingly and to nill all that thou nillest with the same willing will And grant O Lord that mine eyes may be always open to behold thee mine ears to hear thee my mouth to praise thee mine arms to imbrace thee my feet to run after thee and my heart heartily to love honour fear and adore thee so that all my members and faculties both in soul and body may be as instruments only to act thy motions that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee who art all love and only lovely my dear my sweet and saving Saviour Jesus Ah Lord God make me willing to give my self up unto the that did'st so willingly give up thy self for me and to be made like unto me that I might be made like unto thee thou rejoyced'st O Lord to come down from Heaven on Earth to lift me up from Earth into Heaven to live a mortal life on Earth that I might live an immortal life in Heaven to dye on Earth to free me from Eternal death and to give me Eternal life thou wert O Lord made subject to all infirmities on Earth to confirm and make me for ever free from them in Heaven seeing then thou wert O Lord willing to come to me in blood even through thine own blood to wash me out of my blood and to make me for ever clean Ah Lord wash not my hands and my feet only but my head and my heart out also even my bloody heart that hath delighted so much and so often to make thy innocent heart to bleed yea to shed the last drop of blood that was in thy heart Thou would'st O Christ thou would'st wear an ignominious Crown of Thornes here on earth that I might wear a glorious Crown of Glory hereafter in Heaven thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be whip'd that thy stripes might heal me thou would'st thou would'st O Christ be bound to loose me and set me free thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be accurst that I might be for ever blest thou would'st O Christ thou would'st have thine arms nail'd abroad to shew the breadth of thy love thy feet nail'd to shew the length of thy love and thy head pierst with Thorns to shew the height of thy love and thy heart opened with a spear to shew the depth of thy love Ah breadth length height and depth of love that such a God would be thus wounded to heal such a man as I am thus accurst to make me blest thus bound to make me free thus made an heir of misery to make me an heir of mercy thus to drink the dreggs of his Fathers Divine wrath that I might for ever drink in the streams and of the Ocean of his Divine love Ah love beyond degree an offended God thus dyes to set offending men free And thus hath God the Lord my Lord and my God freed me from Eternal pains and given me hopes here and assurance hereafter of Eternal joys he hath brought me out of the neither Hell into the upper Heaven of grace here which shall be glory hereafter he hath freed he hath freed me from Eternal death and purchased for me Eternal life he hath broken he hath broken the chains of sin by which Satan held me and led me captive at his will and doth lead me forth by and with the chains of his Eternal and everlasting love enabling me through grace to do his own holy will And what Lord shall I render unto thee for all these thy benefits thou Lord knowest my unabillity and my poverty I am I am I confess so poor yea so despicably poor O Lord as I have nothing to pay thee nor can pay thee nothing but what thou shalt give me give me then O Lord what thou wilt have me to give thee give me Oh give me I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ love to love thee fear to fear thee faith to believe in thee to depend on thee and to rowl my self upon thee hope to trust in thee and joy to rejoyce in thee with joy unspeakable Ah Lord God give me thy self yea all thy self that I may give thee all my self and though I do I confess already owe thee mine all yet I would willingly owe thee yet more and though I have nothing to pay thee yet I desire and heartily desire to owe the more to be more indebted unto thee for I delight to be thy great debtor yea and would be thy greatest and so I confess I should be though thou shouldest neither give nor forgive me any more then thou hast already forgiven and given me Ah Lord I know that for all thy gifts of grace mercy pardon and forgiveness that thou expecteth only an acknowledgement that I am thine all and that I owe thee my self and mine all the freedom Lord Ah Lord the freedom all the freedom all the freedom that I desire is to be thy
Prisoner never any man desired so much to be let out of Prison as I do to be put in never any slave desired so much to be free as I doe to be bound unto thee O God my God unto thee unto thee my God never any man desired so earnestly to pay his debts as I desire to be further and to be more indebted give me O Lord I beseech thee more and more that I may every day yea every moment of the day all the days of my life unto the very last moment of the last day of my life be receiving that when this life is ended I may live an Eternal life to pay thee Eternally praise and thanksgiving Be thou then Ah sweet Jesus be thou always in me that I may always be in thee stand by me continually that I may always stand upright walk uprightly never fall go with me that I may never go from thee abide O Lord abide ever in me that I may ever abide in thee act in me O Lord act ever in me that I may ever act for thee speak O Lord speak continually in me that I may continually speak for thee work for me O Lord work always for me that I may always work for thee live in me O Lord live always in me that I may always live to thee and for thee Ah Lord do all for me do all for me that all that I shall henceforth always do may be all for thee that I may choose not my own will but thy will may be my choice Ah Lord let me know thy blessed voice that I may always answer thee at thy blessed call whether it be by night or by day as Samuel did and say with him and with his heart speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with holy David for my heart is ready and with heavenly Paul what Lord what wilt thou have me to do Write O Lord I humbly beseech thy holy and divine laws of grace in my heart that with my heart I may delight in them and thy Statutes in my mind that all even all my mind may be still on them that they may be a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins let thy Commandments O Lord be no more grievous unto me but joyous that I may ever find thy yoak easie and thy burthen light Let thy word O God feed me yea let me feast on it as on marrow and fatness let it refresh and comfort my heart as with Wine on the Lees yea as Wine well refined on the Lees let it be sweeter to my tast then honey yea then the Hony-comb Ah Lord let my heart be set on it and much more delighted with it then with gold yea then with much fine gold or precious pearls let it distill into my heart to ravish it Ah Lord let it so ravish me as all my sences may be filled and delighted with its sweetness Let me O Lord hear it attentively understandingly and feelingly as thine own word which thine own mouth hath spoken that my mouth may be filled with thy praises yea that I may trumpet them forth louldly and sweetly let mine eyes always look upon thee O Lord from whence my salvation cometh to behold thy beauty thy glory and thy blessedness as in thy Sanctuary that my feet may run in the ways of thy Commandments and not grow weary and walk and not faint O Lord let me sit under the shadow of thy branches continually for thy fruit is very pleasant unto my tast there is none in Heaven O Lord that my soul desireth as thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Ah how doth my soul and my heart long to be where thou art even where thou art O God in Heaven thy dwelling place glading and rejoycing the hearts of all those that behold thee beholding the brightness the sweetness the loveliness and the lovingness of thy most glorious most beautiful and most blessed countenance which to see is life yea much better than life Ah Lord bring me then home unto thee even to my long desired home that I may ever enjoy thee and live in thee my joy in whom my soul only delighteth to live for with thee I know is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at thy right hand O God are pleasures for ever more such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive Ah Lord God I well know and believe rejoycingly that thou knowest all things and therefore knowest well how my heart and my soul panteth for thee longeth for thee coveteth for thee and most ambitiously hungreth and thirsteth after thee Ah Lord when shall that blessed time be and the day come that I shall be altogether emptyed of my own emptyness and filled with thy fulness be stript of my own raggs and cloathed with thy glorious robes be found out of my self in thee be made partaker of thine own Holy and Divine nature which is perfection and glory in glory yea perfect glory then shall I be no more mine own but thine own yea thine all so that all that I shall do shall please thee well and be right well pleassing unto thee for then I shall no longer do the evil which I would not and which I hate but the good which I would and which I love yea the good and all the good that thou O God wilt and which thou lovest it shall not then be present with me only to will but to do also even all thy holy and whole and perfect will I shall then no longer desire to be stript of any thing that is in me because O God my God thou shalt be all in me and only in me then and there I shall no longer mourn for my unholiness nor pray for more blessedness but all tears fears and cares shall be all done away my unworthiness here shall through thy worthiness O sweet Jesus be accounted worthy my unrighteousness righteous my disobedience obedience and my imperfection perfect full and entire perfection through that ever blessed most blessed and only and all blessed perfection that in the thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah who would not then for a while feed on crums that he may eat of this bread and at last sup at this feast Ah who would not who would not be content to hunger a while to be brought to this banquet of heavenly dainties who would not Ah who would not be content for a little space to sit grovelling on the ground and be covered with dust and ashes that he may at last sit at this Table who would not Ah who would not stay a while without with patience being assured at last yea and ere long to be brought in into the brides Chamber Ah who would not who would not be poor for a while to be made thus rich for ever Ah who would
not who would not be content to be contemptible for a little space to be thus honoured and made truly honourable for ever Ah who would not who would not be right well content to be banisht for a while to be thus brought home in triumph gloriously to abide in his Fathers house for ever who would not Ah who would not be well content and rejoyce to be a stranger and a Pilgrim for a little while in a strange land to have such a possession for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not be in a storm for a while to enjoy for ever such a calm who would not who would not want the delicacies of Egypt for a while to have the delicacies of Heaven for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not refuse to be called the Son of Pharaoh's Daughter for a while to be the Son of the Eternal living loving blessed God for ever and for ever Ah who would not who would not willingly and cheerfully suffer with the Children of God for a while for a little space to raign with the Children of God for ever who would not Ah who would not willingly be cloathed with raggs for a while to wear for ever such glorious robes who would not Ah who is he that would not be Crowned with Thorns for a moment to be Crowned with such a Crown of glory for ever Ah who would not who would not bear the Cross here till death that he may for ever wear the Crown of immortal life Ah who would not who would not suffer with Christ here to raign with Christ for ever hereafter Ah who would not who would not be despised among men to be cherished among Angels Ah who would not who would not suffer as Lazarus did to raign as Lazarus doth Ah who would not who would not suffer as a member of Christs mystical body here to be a member of his glorious body for ever hereafter Ah who would not who would not live the life of the righteous here to live for ever and ever with the righteous hereafter not in the bosome of Abraham but in the bosome of Abraham's Isaac's and Jacob's Gods In the mean time O Lord give me grace courage and strength to run that good race to fight that good fight that thou hast set before me perseveringly unto the end that I may as willingly wear the Crown of Thorns here for thy sake as the Crown of glory hereafter for my own sake that I may be as willingly under temptation here as to be freed from temptation hereafter that for thy sake O Lord I may as willingly be contemptible here as honourable hereafter that I may as willingly suffer O Lord for thee here as raign with thee hereafter and that in all sufferings my only joy may be that I shall for ever enjoy thee But Ah Lord God what am I and what is there in me and therefore what am I able to do for thee or to render unto thee for this thy love which far surpasseth the love of Women Men or of Angels as there was never sorrow like to thy sorrow so there was never love like to thy love true it is O Lord for all this thy love thou requirest nothing but love again Ah how fain would I love thee but I cannot as I would how much less then is it then I should when I would do good evil is present and I do the evil many times which I would not but do not cannot do the good which I would to will is many times present but how to perform I know not but thanks be unto God through our Lord Jesus Christ though with my flesh I serve the law of sin yet with my mind I serve the law of God Grant then O sweet Jesus and give me grace that I may love thee as thou hast loved me and do for thee as thou hast done for me and to this end make my heart upright before thee even according to thine own heart that it may no longer be mine own but thine own that I may be only thine wholly thine holy thine always thine and ever thine that thou in me and I in thee may from sin be ever free Teach me O Lord so to number my days that I may apply my heart unto Wisdom that I may be always mindfull of my last end and of the reckoning that I must then make before thee the Judge of Heaven and Earth Ah Lord suffer me not any longer to walk after the devices of mine own decitfull evil heart but grant O God by thy power I may have power to do and walk uprightly before thee in all thy paths and that I may never more swerve nor turn aside out of the way of thy Commandments either to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Give me grace O Lord God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to see mine own badness and thy goodness ready and willing to make me good that I may see mine own emptiness and thy fulness ready to fill me mine own nakedness and thy robes to cover and cloath me mine own sinfulness and thy righteousness to make me righteous mine own cursedness and thy blessedness to make me blessed my own deformity and ugliness and thy beautifulness to make me beautifull my own slavery and thy freedom and freeness to make me free mine own unworthyness and thy worthyness to make me worthy mine own insufficiency and thine al-sufficiency mine own demerit and thy merit mine own disobedience and thine obedience mine own nothingness yea altogether nothing and thine Almightiness yea altogether all things for in thee are all things from thee come all things and by thee O God all things are and were created I do most unfeignedly confess O Lord that I am unable and unfit to speak unto thee and as unworthy to hear thee speak unto me for in me that is in my flesh there is no good I am all evil only evil and continually evil but in thee O God dwelleth all good for thou art all good only good and continually dost good without thee I can say nothing think nothing nor do nothing that is good suffer me not therefore O Lord I beseech thee to speak in my own wisdom for that would be but the wisdom of words but let me O Lord speak in thy wisdom which will be the words of wisdom and Wisdoms words Let me not O Lord go forth in my own strength against any Temptation for I am so weak I should be overcome and fall into any Temptation but let thy strength thy power thy might and thy love O Lord be seen in my weakness to strengthen me and by thy power powerfully working in me I may overcome and trample under my feet all the strength and power of all my adversaries and enemies Devils lust worlds lusts and self-lusts Ah Lord God suffer me not to go from thee for thou hast the
thine accustomed good and gracious Protection and Providence again called and brought me Ah let not O Lord my former many frequent great and grievous sins committed here in this place chiefly be brought to thy mind or had in remembrance of thee any more and so cause thee to hide thy glorious face and presence from me and take away thine Holy Spirit and give me up to a Spirit of delusion and to mine own hearts lusts and affections which I take to be O Lord the sorest and the greatest of thy Judgments upon earth in this life but rather Ah rather O Lord shew forth thy goodness and thy compassion unto me miserable sinner vile wretch sinful abominable dust and ashes a worm and no man yea the very worst of the worst of men O Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake alone to pass by and forgive all my former iniquities transgressions blasphemies and sins by nayling them to his Cross who was crucified for them that they might not crucifie me by burying them in his grave who died for them that they might not put me to death and was buried that they might never rise in Judgment against me to terrifie me here in this life or to condemn me in the life to come Ah my good Lord God for thy great goodness sake grant that here where I have so much so often and so frequently disowned thee and blasphemed thee I may own thee and praise thee and thou own me for thine own that here where I have so much and so often dishonoured thee by my wicked devilish and sinful life serving and even giving my self up to serve Devils lusts Worlds lusts and self lusts I may honour thee by despising and trampling them under my feet and serving thee in thy ways of holiness and righteousness all the days of my life that here here O Lord where I have despised thee I may adore thee that here O Lord even here where I have walked so contrary unto thee I may henceforth walk well pleasing before thee that here here O Lord where I have hated thee I may henceforth and for ever shew forth my love to thee and for thee that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often grieved thee I may take heed and carefully endeavour to glad thee by all things that I do speak or think that here even here O Lord God where I have caused thee to mourn I may cause thee mightily to rejoyce that here even here O Lord my God where I have so often and so cruelly crucified thee I may without remorse or compassion crucifie all those sinful lusts and affections that did it that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often put thee to open shame by my sinful filthy abominable devilsh life and conversation I may openly frequently and mightily applaud praise and glorifie thy holy holy most holy name that here O Lord even here where I have done so much yea all that I could against thee I may with all my power might strength heart will and affections do all even all that I can for thee that here even here O Lord where I have in all things at all times and in all places deserted dishonoured and disobeyed thee Ah Lord my Lord now and my God grant I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee that I may in all things at all times and in all places and companies serve honour and obey thee by night and by day sleeping and waking on thy days O Lord and on our days in thy house O Lord and in all other houses at thy Table O Lord and at all other Tables in and by all my thoughts words and actions Grant O Lord that here where sin hath so much abounded grace may much more abound and grant I also most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ that those that have seen me grow up in all sin may see sin destroyed in me with an utter and total destruction and separation and my growth iâ— all grace may appear Grant O Lord that those that have been tempted by me and sinned by my example may by my example flie sin and sins Temptations and be brought home with me unto thee to serve thee and that here where I have served Satan and been an instrument in his work Grant O Lord I besech thee that I may despight him to his face and by thine Almighty power I may trample all his powerful temptations under my feet shewing forth O Lord that thy Kingdom power and glory is in my heart by my doing thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven by crucifying and mortifying all sinful lusts and affections the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life for he that is born of God must and will overcome the world and depart from all iniquity Grant O my God in Jesus Christ that here where I have been a member of Satan I may be a member of Christ my Saviour bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh a member of his mystical body of grace here and of his glorious body in glory hereafter that here even here O Lord where I have been a Son of Satan a Child of wrath I may be an adopted Son and Child of God an heir of Heaven and Co-heir with Jesus Chsist of that Kingdom life and glory which he hath provided and prepared for the Saints in life where their God will not I trust be ashamed to be called my God nor their Father to be called my Father Inflame O Lord my heart with hearty and sincere zeal in thy service that I may not do thy work faintingly droopingly drousily nor negligently but faithfully circumspectly willingly cheerfully obediently and perseveringly unto the end of my days that thou O Lord my Lord and my God mayest be at all times in all places and above all things my joy my Crown of joy and my rejoycing my ultimate end aim and desire my supream soveraign principal chief and superiour good my lot my portion and mine inheritance for ever And to this end suffer me not O Lord I humbly beseech thee to walk in my old ways and paths of sin but in thine O Lord God of holiness and righteousness not according to mine own sinful and deceitful heart which is all evil only evil and continually evil but O God according to thine heart which is all good only good and continually good that thou mayest so delight me that all my delight may so delight thee and make thee O Lord God my only delight love me O Lord in Jesus Christ that I may love thee honour me that I may honour thee magnifie me that I may magnifie thee live in me that I may live in thee do all for me that I may do all and be all for thee that I may not henceforth O Lord speak mine own words but thine not think my own thoughts but
earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I come to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infiniteness and eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy Mercies sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost three persons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawfull calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obedientlâ— circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me always value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no Token either of thy Hatred or of thy Love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be always as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal loss Ah Lord let the eyes of my understanding be enlightned and always open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingness whilst I shall possess them and that worldly bliss consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem always that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best Come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will always please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will always please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward Man the New not the Old Man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfeignedly beg and beseech thâ—e in Jesus Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing whatever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the days of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my days unto the very last hour of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witness a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Jesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that tryest the heart and searchest the Reins thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as wilingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty Maker Giver and Preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the â—nds and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatness of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and to write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that
when we love our Selves only that is chiefly for our selves for our own sakes such desire Heavens joys to enjoy them because they are the greatest joys 't is not Heaven for God but God for Heaven that they would and that they mind they love the wages but not the work the Crown but not the Cross to reign with Christ and as Christ doth but not to suffer with Christ and as Christ did to wear his Crown of Glory but not his Crown of Thorns to live as he doth but not as he did to be his Servant in Heaven but not his Disciple on Earth to have the recompence of Reward there as a good and faithfull Servant but not to serve him here as a Son or a Servant they would willingly have their own will done both on Earth and in Heaven but not his on Earth no not for Heaven they would believe in him but not suffer for him they would live with him there but not dye with him here they fly many times from sin because of the pain woe grief and torment it will bring they fly from the punishment not from the sin they hate not sin as it is sin and because it is Sin for many times they love the sin which they commit not which they dare not commit and so they many times do good but not because it is good and for that it is the Command of God their delight is not to him nor his ways nor to the keeping of his Commandments but their delight is â—o delight themselves the end of all their aim and the aim of all their end is to please themselves and therefore if at any time they do good it is to do good to themselves 't is not for God's sake nor for goodness sake but for their own sakes for many times they do what they would not do and seem to love what they do not love and to hate what they do not hate they prefer the flesh to please the flesh and to enjoy fleshly pleasures before the pleasing of God and the enjoying of God and spiritual pleasures they prefer Communion with the Creature before Communion with the Creator and their own low base ends before his high holy great and glorious ends how dully droopingly faintly feebly coldly and sluggishly do they go about Gods work and service any thing that concerns his honour and glory what icy frozen benumm'd dead hearts have they thereunto though in the doing of all this it is to do for themselves to work for themselves and to serve themselves but how Ah how jollily cheerfully lively nimbly quickly ardently and hotly do they go about the things that no whit at all concerns God but themselves how stoutly strongly and vigorously do they wrestle for the world and the things of the world and to have a blessing of increase on their works and labour for the flesh but how ah how faintly cowardly and feebly do they wrestle with God in duties in prayer meditation hearing and reading the word of God as if they would not that blessing or at least cared not for it thus God's work and Soul work is to them of little concernment and when they do mind the Soul and Heaven it is because of its happiness they then seek God for Heavens sake but never Heaven for God's sake and even then when the Lord sends a fair wind with the breath and spirit of his grace into their hearts to hasten them forward to their place of rest and to make them to sail over the floods and tempests of tentations and waves of opposition yet then Ah then so selfish fond stupid and ignorant are they as they hoyse up all the Sayls they can to go against this sweet new fresh gale they row and tug and toyl to go back from their Port from their Haven Harbour which is so near them desiring not to come so soon to their journeys end they desire not so soon to end their journeying travel and pains in the flesh they prefer this travel and toyl and care before that peace and rest and ease and joy and though this all all this be but vanity and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit yet so contrary are they to God and his ways that they will none of them as long as they can these they gladly and willingly will put off that day for this nay though God do at times shew some of them Heaven as he did Paul and they behold things utterable and with Peter see the glory of the Lord which is unconcivable yet these foresights and fore-tasts being taken from them or they from it Ah how soon do they forget that ever they saw any such thing how soon how gladly willingly and cheerfully do they return to Egypt the place of their Captivity and joyfully and heartily feed on the Garlick and Onions yea on the husks that Swines feed on so much love they have to themselves as they forget God and that they were Created for him and unto good works to please and serve him such then as thus love or love thus are self-lovers only or chiefly and therefore not right or true lovers because they love not God rightly therefore not truly for he is to be beloved first of all most of all beyond and above all he being our only chief supream Soveraign superiour and best good all good being in him and flows only from him he containing all and being contained by none 54. But as for me O Lord as for me I know O Lord I know that there is none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee a Door-keeper O Lord a Door-keeper in thy House do I much prefer choose and embrace rather than to dwell in Tents or Tabernacles with the wicked with those that know thee not and that fear thee not I much rather Ah Lord thou knowest that I had much rather be afflicted and choose and prefer banishment poverty contempt disgrace imprisonment and death for thy sake and the Gospels as thy Servant rather yea much rather than to enjoy all these pleasures in the flesh these fleshly pleasures with the wicked any life O Lord and any death yea that life and that death in that place and condition as may bring thee most glory do I most humbly and unfeignedly beg in Jesus Christ and for his sake Ah Lord God I hast me unto thee I desire to flye into thee and to be found ever in thee yea though thou shouldest make all my life as Paul's and Peter's were when they saw and enjoyed in part those blessed joys prepared and laid up for the blessed yea though I could always see Heaven open as Stephen and thou O Lord my Jesus and my Christ standing at the right hand of God should not would not my heart heartily say with Simeon Lord now let thy servant depart in peace for mine eyes have seen thy great Salvation would it not cry out none but Christ none but
of vanity and therefore the more the lesser worth the worser and the lighter be all nothing but all vanity 82. The more there is of a bad thing the worser and the lesser too is the thing that is to goodness 83. Well therefore may it be said of the best of this Worlds of this Worlds best as the old Woman said unto her daughter arise Daughter Vanity and come to thy daughter Vanity for thy daughter Vanity hath another daughter of Vanity 84. Ah fruitful but cursed fruitfull Womb that brings forth so much cursed fruit full of Vanity 85. How much better were it that thou wert barren than thus to bear 86. Vanity is in the getting Vanity is in the keeping Vanity is in the spending and there is Vanity for the most part in giving of this Worlds Vanity So that all in this World even all this World is Vanity yea all Vanity and Vexation of Spirit 87. Ah vain foolish man that labourest so hard that hazardest so much for that which at the best is so vain being so full of Vanity and which is worse vexation of spirit 88. If then its best be so bad what is its worst if it s all be worth nothing at all why wilt thou then be such a fool as to labour for that which is not and to spend thy time thy dear most dear and most precious time for that which will not for that which cannot profit thee 89. Let then Ah let then the morrow care for it self care thou O man Oh careless man for thy self that is for thy better self which will make thee ever happy or else thy carelessness ever miserable miserable for ever 90. Be not Ah be not so careless to put off thy care till to morrow seeing there is a change every moment but fear still Ah fear thou still that change which a day may bring forth 91. Let the World take its own make sure what is thine own if thou wilt so have it which is Christ Jesus and all his merits and say truly and boldly I will have none but Christ I care for none but Christ nor to know nothing but Christ and him crucified be then contented if thou hast him and be not contented what ever thou hast if thou hast him not 92. For all other things give discontent and bring with them Vexation of Spirit but he gives alone all true contentment and brings with him the peace of the Spirit 93. If then our peace in believing bring so great joy that it passeth all understanding Ah how great shall our peace and joy be when it shall be above believing that is when we shall possess the God and giver of all peace who is our rest and peace yea our peaceable rest and he will augment our understanding as much as our peace and yet our peace shall surpass ours and all others understanding 94. And if our joy be so great when we believe the certainty thereof Ah how great in possession when we shall know certainly with the most certain and sure knowledge of God that it shall be ever most surely sure and certain 95. If then these things below be able to satisfie any a moment surely the things above above all things shall be able and will ever ever will satisfie all for all there shall enjoy all God who hath all things and is all things and more than all things and he giveth himself unto all being all in all and over all and above and more than all 96. Ah Lord God the searcher the trier and knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord thou knowest my heart and therefore knowest right well what my heart heartily chiefly and principally desireth above beyond and more than all things which is thy dear thy sweet and pretious most pretious sweet and dear self Ah let me so have thee as never to be without thee and I will never more ask any thing more of thee fill me Ah fill me so with thy blessed fulness as that I may never more be emptied of thee but may continually receive from thee grace for grace daily grace to give thee daily glory much grace to give thee much glory continually grace to give thee continually glory Give Ah Lord give so thy self to me as I may ever give my self to thee to be all thine always thine only thine and ever thine Enter Ah Lord be thou pleased so to enter into me as I may enter into thee my Joy O my Lord even into thâ—e who art the Lord of my Joy espouse me Ah espouse me here O Lord by grace that I may be hereafter for ever married with thee unto thee in glory Raign rule bless guide govern direct protect preserve and defend me from all evils perils and dangers that I may enjoy those blessed great gracious holy and glorious promises which thou hast been pleased from time to time to make unto me that I may live and living dye that I may dye and dying ever live to the praise honour and glory of thine ever blessed Eternal most holy and most great most sacred and most glorious name so be it Lord so be it 97. Heaven is Heaven because it is holy yea because O Lord God thou art there that art holiness therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy yea such a holy and therefore blessed Heaven as it is so as to those that are there a thousand years seem but as one day so greatly sweet is its enjoyment and one day seems as a thousand years so great is their joy in its enjoyment and holiness is the chief joy felicity and happiness in Heaven because it makes them all like unto thy self O all Heavenly God who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven being the holiness of Heaven and therefore Heavens chief joy felicity and happiness 98. If earths sweets are so sweet to earthly hearts as they desire nothing but earth that is the things on earth Ah how sweet then are Heavens sweets to a Heavenly heart and how shall Ah how shall Heaven ravish their hearts with joy and contentment when that their hearts souls and bodies shall be in Heaven and all filled with Heaven that is with all holiness and blessedness even with God himself the ever blessed and holy God then shall they be all holy all Heavenly yea all a holy Heaven being holy as God is holy but not so holy 99. If earth then or earthly things on earth be able to satisfie any on earth surely Heaven and the things in Heaven shall be able and will satisfie all in Heaven for that all there shall enjoy all that is there even all God Father Son and Holy Ghost who is all and in all 100. And therefore by how much God is above all things and more worth than all things by so much yea so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for having him sure I have all things sure I am sure 101. Ah when I enjoy that true
more and more what is the length the breadth the height of the depth of his love to his Children and Servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor express and it so filleth their hearts with such joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that Heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in Heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegroom arrayeth us with even his own Righteousness and true holiness this filleth our lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voice Come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his Sons and Daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that please him please them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to bless and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come to Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is always open for sin and for uncleanness this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the loss of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousness wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully chearfully and patiently all that is commanded them always saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with David My heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptible as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my Soul desireth to have on earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor Souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Halleluiahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberless number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who would not have his Kingdom increase and Satans decrease who would not fight for Christ against all his Enemies and adversaries knowing that they are already conquered and made his foot-stool who would not labour to undeceive poor silly Souls that go on so fast and run so swift in the ways of Eternal destruction and whose feet make hast to death and who drink up iniquity as it were water and rush into all evil as the horse rusheth into the battle and that rise early and go to bed late that they may yet sin the more and notwithstanding they commit not half the evil that they would they are thus ensnared to their own hurt Ah who would not labour to free such poor creatures as are slaves and drudges and serve such a Master as gives such wages as is Hell death and destruction eternally both for body and soul Ah who is not an Orator fit enough to set forth the ugliness and filthiness of sin which thus defileth the heart in which God so much delighteth and desireth to dwell and which depraves them of his most blessed and most glorious Image and makes them the Image of the Devil instead of being a member of Christ it makes them a member of Satan instead of being a Child of God and an Heir of Heaven yea Co-heir with Jesus Christ it makes them a Child of Wrath an Heir of Hell and Co-heir with the Devil and his Angels of Gods eternal and unplacable wrath and vengeance which shall ever burn them but never consume them for God himself will laugh at their great calamity and mock when their fear cometh Ah who would not rejoyce to do such a work as to hinder poor Souls from having such a portion as this and bring them home to Jesus Christ who is the great Doctor who will give them this his Holy Spirit to teach them lead them direct them and instruct them in those things which belong to their eternal peace and Salvation which is in all truth and holiness 198. Thus are all those in whom this Spirit of God dwelleth made partakers of his own holy and divine nature to love the
love is thy self for thou art not only a loving God but a God of love and therefore thy love is as thy self had never beginning nor shall never have end 270. Ah blessed love that is thus durable and unchangable and happy yea thrice happy he that is thus beloved being sure to be beloved ever thus 271. If a man or woman in the flesh hath unspeakable joy pleasure and delight to be divorc'd from one which they hate beyond and more than any thing and are instead thereof marryed unto one which they dearly love yea which they love more dearly than any thing in the flesh 272. Ah what joyes Ah what delights and ravishing pleasures shall they have and have all they that shall be and are divorc'd from their old Husbands sin whom they hate as the Devil and fear and fly from as from Hell and are marryed unto their new new beloved Husband Christ Jesus whom they love above and more than all things as their lives as their souls yea as their Heaven for he is the life of their life the soul of their soul and the Heaven of their Heaven being their soul and bodies Eternal Everlasting rest peace portion happiness felicity and blessedness in Heaven for 273. There are no joys like to spiritual joys nor sorrow like to the spiritual mans sorrow when he mourns under that intolerable burthen of sin for a wounded Conscience who can bear 274. The unregenerate man cannot love sin and hate grace as the regenerate man loves grace and hates sin for he hath the love of God in him his Image of holiness and righteousness is renewed in him day by day he loves all his gifts and graces with his own love perfectly and so he hates all and every sin in thought word and deed which is in sincerity 275. The fleshly Voluptuous man cannot love the pleasures of the flesh as the spiritual man prizeth and loves and delights and rejoyceth in the pleasures of the spirit 276. The Wicked cannot hate the Righteous and the just so much as the just and the Righteous love the wicked though they detest abhor and hate all their sins for they know that a Saul to day may be a Paul to morrow c. They cannot see the inside of any nor know their hearts therefore they judge none but themselves knowing with what measure they mete it shall be measured to them again they also call to mind and remember what they were themselves in time past how they lived after the flesh and minded the things of the flesh c. And that where sin hath abounded graâ—â— shall much more abound that 't is by free grace that we are saved Eternal life is the gift of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and we are all unprofitable servants when we have done all 277. Sin then is opposite capital and grand Enemy to holiness as hatred is to love as darkness is to light as Hell is to Heaven as the Devil is to God 278. See then and consider how they are opposite and take notice of their contrary workings and in the end how and by what means it is that the good destroys the evil and is the Conquerour and the greatest 279. Sin is Eternal darkness and death Holiness is Eternal light and life sin shuts Heavens Gates and sets wide open Hells Holiness shuts the Gates of Hell aâ—d sets wide open those of Heaven sin wounds holiness heals sin casts down to Hell holiness raiseth up to Heaven sin kills holiness causeth to live the sinner hates God and all good and most of all God because he is good and because he is God yea because he is such a holy God as he is and he would that he were not that sin might be and might be free but the Saint or Regenerate loves all good and hates all evil and loves most of all God because he is God a holy and a just God all good yea because he is such a God as he is and as well for that he punisheth sin with Eternal death as because he rewardeth holiness with Eternal life after he hath given it with his free grace of his free will sin shall be ever in Hell as well as holiness for ever in Heaven the sinner in Hell shall be despighted because he lives to sin and cannot dye nor fly from sin and because that God lives and thus punisheth him with life and will not suffer death to have power over him he sees death to fly from him yea so far as it will never be nearer him than it is so that he shall ever live thus the Saints rejoyce to live because they live in God and for God a Saint loves God because he hath thus rewarded him by making him to live such a life as this that is to his praise and because God was ever thus and shall be thus ever he knoweth he shall be ever so also death is fled from him and shall be never nearer him than it is he knoweth he shall ever live thus that is be thus ever with God in God and see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is to possess him for ever and for ever 280. Thus then holiness and sin are Opposites and Enemies but holiness destroys sin as light doth darkness this eternal darkness of sin must vanish when this eternal everlasting light of holiness doth appear thus is it conquered and overcome because holiness is from God and sin from the Devil holiness from the Creator sin from the Creature holiness had never beginning nor shall never have end sin had a beginning and therefore not from the beginning the Devil then brought sin into the World but God who is holiness was so before time before that ever the World or the Devil was sin then is the lesser being from the Creature the worser being from the Devil holiness the greater being from the Creator the better being and proceeding from him that is all good and giveth all good to all to make them good all yea all good as himself for all the good that is in all the Creatures in Heaven and oâ— earth is from his good he filleth them all but emptyeth not himself at all he is still the same still full yea so full still as he overfloweth still into them from his own fullness and they though filled full yet do they still receive from his fulness without having in them any emptiness being always full from the very beginning that they are with him and yet are they continually receiving as if they were as well emptyed as filled thus doth our good gracious loving and merciful God satisfie us and resatiate us every moment giving us what we ask not what we want not what we know not and though he doth thus increase his blessings by blessing us yet doth he not suffer them to decrease in us when given us but we retain all hold fast all keep all rejoyce in all and give
though they have the Letter yea and the spirit too 304. For what we hear from God in the Spirit by meditation is usually engraven and written as it were with the pen of a diamond on and in the heart by the finger of God but the words of men are even as man whose breath is in his nostrils soon blown out soon put out emptyed and brings forth nothing comes to nothing being a part of that whole man nothing nothing man 305. Ah Lord God thou knowest how willingly I would be deaf and not hear any of mans words so I could or were always to hear thee and dumb to and not able to speak to man so I might and were fit and able always to speak to thee I would willingly be blind to all things and see nothing of all the things out of thee so I could always Ah so I could alwayes see thee I would willingly most willingly lose all things to have all thee or to be all thine enjoy nothing at all but thee O God in Christ but thee but thee for enjoying thee I shall be compleat and enjoy all things for thou art all things desirable yea thou only art all my desires being all things 306. The greatest work we can do for God I conceive is to destroy sin and to endeavour to extinguish it and root it out of the greatest sinners is the greatest work as it is the greater glory to God speaking as men to forgive many sins and great ones than few and small ones and when we are most tempted or enticed then to labour most to overcome them in our selves and in others Ah then then the work is great and well wrought and be sure great shall be thy recompence of reward if thou so livest and actest thine own heart is not able to conceive be thou what thou wilt how great thy wages shall be even here 307. But in Heaven we shall be filled with all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and have no desire for any other for any more than those which we shall enjoy and yet I conceive that every moment it shall increase by and from the reflections on Gods most glorious and holy attributes the Soul being not able to comprehend them all at once and yet she shall never at any time desire more nor conceive that more is or can be than she enjoyeth we shall be always so full of all being filled with God who is all and therefore we cannot be capable of emptiness or of any want and so by consequence of no desire such is the Souls blessedness but how much more thou only O God who art not only wise talk with the spirit than with the flesh either our own or others though they have the Letter yea and the spirit too 304. For what we hear from God in the Spirit by meditation is usually engraven and written as it were with the pen of a diamond on and in the heart by the finger of God but the words of men are even as man whose breath is in his nostrils soon blown out soon put out emptyed and brings forth nothing comes to nothing being a part of that whole man nothing nothing man 305. Ah Lord God thou knowest how willingly I would be deaf and not hear any of mans words so I could or were always to hear thee and dumb to and not able to speak to man so I might and were fit and able always to speak to thee I would willingly be blind to all things and see nothing of all the things out of thee so I could always Ah so I could alwayes see thee I would willingly most willingly lose all things to have all thee or to be all thine enjoy nothing at all but thee O God in Christ but thee but thee for enjoying thee I shall be compleat and enjoy all things for thou art all things desirable yea thou only art all my desires being all things 306. The greatest work we can do for God I conceive is to destroy sin and to endeavour to extinguish it and root it out of the greatest sinners is the greatest work as it is the greater glory to God speaking as men to forgive many sins and great ones than few and small ones and when we are most tempted or enticed then to labour most to overcome them in our selves and in others Ah then then the work is great and well wrought and be sure great shall be thy recompence of reward if thou so livest and actest thine own heart is not able to conceive be thou what thou wilt how great thy wages shall be even here 307. But in Heaven we shall be filled with all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and have no desire for any other for any more than those which we shall enjoy and yet I conceive that every moment it shall increase by and from the reflections on Gods most glorious and holy attributes the Soul being not able to comprehend them all at once and yet she shall never at any time desire more nor conceive that more is or can be than she enjoyeth we shall be always so full of all being filled with God who is all and therefore we cannot be capable of emptiness or of any want and so by consequence of no desire such is the Souls blessedness but how much more thou only O God who art not only wise but Wisdom it self knowest and none else doth or can being not able to comprehend thee to receive thee or to know thee as thou truly art being an invisible and incomprehensible Ocean and Fountain of all good blessedness felicity peace rest joy eternity and eternal happiness thou only O God comprehendest all things and hast all things in thy self from thy self thy self only being all things and yet both much more and much above all things 308. I would much rather think on nothing than on any thing out of or besides God 309. To think on nothing me thinks are good thoughts in comparison of any other thing out of God and besides God 310. Ah how sweet are those sweets not to think that is to resolve and intend never to tast more of the bitter sweets of sin 311. Ah how sweet a thing is it not to sin though a man do else nothing or nothing else but to keep his thoughts from sin 312. Sinful thoughts are harsh and hard thoughts and cannot be savoured or digested but by those that live in sin and sin in them 313. Feed me O Lord feed me continually with the breathings of thy Holy spirit which is the true bread and water of life the heavenly Mannah which the Angels still feed on with joy and delight and are never weary the blessed solace themselves with but do not surfeit the Saints here below continually hunger thirst gape pant and long after and cannot with any other thing or things subject or object be fully satisfied 314. To fare delitiously every day is to feed on and fill our hearts
that only which he feels is not words only but works also yea the work of Gods spirit for its the spirits work thus to work to work his will and his work on our hearts and to cause us to feel that is to know that he works for us and in us and will never leave thus working till he hath wrought out our Salvation that is till he hath sanctified us throughout in spirit soul and body and prepared and fitted us for Heaven as Heaven is fitted and prepared for us 19. Ah how great a folly is it to prize any other wisdom or to account any other thing wisdom then this one thing feelingly to know and to know feelingly in truth and sincerity that Jesus is the Christ our Christ and our Jesus to anoynt us and to sanctifie and save us to be unto us Wisdom Righteousness Justification and Redemption 20. O my soul my soul fry from all other knowledge that hinders this as from madness and folly as from mad folly and foolish madness brutishness and stupidity and chuse to learn and learn to chuse this one thing needfull that is to know Jesus Christ and him Crucified for thee for thee my soul and body in thy place and stead not with the knowledge of the letter but of the spirit for thus to know him is life yea life Eternal Eternal and Everlasting life 21. How willing Ah how willing is that soul that receives any thing from God to lay it out for him that is to give it unto others he would indeed be always receiving and God and his own heart only knows how willing he is to be always giving even as if he desired and begged for others and not for himself and as it 's freely given him so doth he freely or would if he could freely give it unto others he will not Ah he will not he cannot consent to napkin it up or hide it he would be thus rich and wise and honourable but it is to do good works as it were to make others such when others are what they should be he praiseth God much on their behalf and rejoyceth with unspeakable joy for the glory of God is his only rejoycing he minds in some manner yea and often too more others welfare than his own because it seems to him that he cannot alone do what he would have done for his God therefore as soon as he receives this Heavenly treasure he desires to shew himself to be the Treasurer of Heaven to distribute it unto those that want that lack it that are hunger starved and when he meets with such and perceives and finds that they feed heartily and savour it Ah how doth he bless God for thus blessing him and them for thus using him as an instrument as his hand and mouth as it were to give unto them and to help their infirmities but he gives it not as his own but as his Masters goods for he chargeth them strictly to account themselves Debtors to his Lord not to him for he always to all acknowledgeth to have nothing but what he hath received he will by no means hide his light under a bushel but puts it on a Candlestick that it may be seen his only ambition is so to traffick with it that it may redound to his Masters profit and advantage that being he is certain he shall ever have a well being that is be received into and ever to abide in the joy of his Lord yea into the Lord of his joy 22. Ah Lord empty my self of my self my heart of my own heart my affections of my own affections my thoughts of all my own thoughts that I may be filled with thee who fillest all Creatures with all the good things they enjoy â—e thou O Lord be thou all my all all my honour wisedom strength riches pleasures life contentment and happy days for even then when I have all things and have thee not thou knowest O Lord that I have nothing for that I esteem them all even nothing at all but when I have thee Ah when I have thee I have all things that I would have that my soul desireth or can ask or crave 23. Give me but thy self O Lord O Lord give me but thy self and then give me what thou wilt to do to be or to suffer for thee I accept Ah I most willingly accept of it and promise for ever obedience unto it 24. Though I am unable unfit and cannot do what I would do yet most willingly I would and most unfainedly I do desire to do what I should do 25. O Lord I know that thou knowest all things and therefore I know that thou knowest how willingly I would and how much I desire to give thee all my life all my labour and all my love 26. For there is no other thing lovely or deserves to have our loves but that one thing thy Love O God O God thy Love thy Love 27. Ah what is all mans teachings and mans doings to that O God which by thy Spirit thou teachest us to know and inablest us to do 28. If it be so sweet Ah if it be so sweet a thing to think of God and his ways here on earth in the flesh so that all earthly sweets or earths sweets are made bitter by it unsavory and unwholsome Ah how wholsome savory and sweet is it to walk O Lord in all thy ways to do all thy will and to enjoy thy self all as thou art in Heaven where thinking thoughts hoping desires and believing joys shall be turned into possessing truths even true possession of all that ever we believed desired hoped or thought on yea it shall far surpass all the imaginations of our hearts of our desires or hopes being infinite and incomprehensible as well as Everlasting and Eternal 29. And when O God thou hast thus filled us here thou dost at times seem to us to be as the ebbing Sea go back again but that we may not remain comfortless thou comest again unto us into us even as the flood yea as the full Sea to shew us witness to us and assure us that there is no want decrease nor deminishing in thee but that thou art still the same full of bounty goodness love and willingness to do us all good much above what we can ask or think 30. There is Ah there is a most blessed Heaven to be had on this side Heaven even whilst we are on earth which is an assurance certain or a certain and a sure assurance of that Heaven of Heaven in Heaven and this some have always within them at all times and places they enjoy this unspeakable joy but more fully sweetly and particularly at some times when they have a near Converse and Communion with God then are they as it were wrapt up in God and cloathed with him and filled with him and made meet and fitted by him then Ah then do they sing new songs of deliverance rejoycing with unspeakable joy that they
are thus made free 31. That high Heaven above is to be had here below and we have it when though we are high in God yet we are low in our selves though we have our hearts high living in that Heaven above above all things here below yet our affections esteem and desire are all always weak dull and low to all these things here below yea much lower than the lowest of things 32. Ah did but our hearts well consider what is in Gods heart to give us and to do for us surely we should and we would do no other thing than wait upon him continually to hear what he would say unto us and do for us which would bring us more joy joy us more than our hearts are able to hold than we are any of us able to think or to conceive 33. O Lord thou knowest that I would not have all that I would have but the heart of my desires yea the desires of my heart are to have only only to have that which is in thy heart to have me to have 34. Let O Lord I humbly beseech thee my thoughts heart and affections be always loaden with the loaves of thy love 35. Let my soul always be resatiated with thy love and kindness even with thy loving kindness O Lord. 36. O God in Jesus Christ let thy former mercies always glad my heart when it shall either droop or faint I most humbly beseech thee 37. Let me not Ah let me not wander from thee nor thy precepts O Lord who keepest this close unto me 38. Let thy Commandments be as a Chain of Gold about my neck and as Bracelets of Pearls on my arms 39. Let O Lord God thy whole Law which is holy be written on my heart with the finger of thy holy and blessed Spirit and grant through thy grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ that I may never depart from them but always and ever delight in them much more than on my daily food which thou hast appointed and ordained to feed this temporal life 40. Let thy word O God be as yea be the hony comb to the spiritual taste of my Soul and resatiate and solace it as with marrow and fatness and comfort and glad it as wine on the Lees yea as wine well refined on the Lees. 41. Ah Lord God cause my soul always feelingly and rejoycingly to say I have none in Heaven but thee nor on all the earth in comparison of thee my Jesus and my Christ and let the Corn Wine and Oyl which are the riches honours and pleasures of the World be as durt dung and dross in comparison of it 42. Ah Lord God what is man sinful man wretched blind despicable poor man that thou art thus mindful of him and the Son of man that thou should'st thus regard him delight in him and set thy heart upon him to do him good yea to do him all the good that is in thy heart and to make him that is his heart according to thine own heart 43. Ah wonder of wonders that such a God should thus condescend to love such a man nothing man man that is nothing but evil all evil yea and continually all evil for there is none good but thee O God O none no not one 44. Bow down O Lord bow down my heart unto the obedience of thy Laws and lift it up to rejoyce in the obedience of thy Commandments to keep them and do them for in the keeping of them there is life yea eternal and everlasting life 45. Banish O Lord I most humbly and earnestly beseech thee out of my heart and thoughts the love and the liking unto any other Love besides thee and thy Love 46. And grant that with the heart of my heart I may serve thee in truth of heart unfeignedly all the days and moments of my life that I may long after no other thing and that thy fear may be my dayly food 47. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee to give out thy self unto me that I may give up my self unto thee 48. Give O Lord give thy self unto me that I may for ever give my self to thee to live ever to thee and for thee as I desire ever to live in thee and with thee 49. Thou knowest O Lord my God that I desire not what I do desire unless it be conformable to thy desires so that my desires are not mine but thine not mine own but thine own yea thine all all thine 50. I would not have O Lord God thou knowest right well what I would have but what I should that what thou wilt have me to have what thou hast appointed me to have Ah let me have that only that all all that 51. I know that all that thou givest us whether graces or gifts thou wilt have an account of we shall account with thee for 52. Ah let me no longer nor no more have this woe and grief of heart to have received much and done little and to ask much for my self but to do little Ah little for thee 53. Suffer me not O Lord never to think or do that in secret which I would not which I should not do openly and let me O Lord Ah let me much more fear thine all seeing eyes than all the seeing eyes of Angels and men 54. How we are to desire and believe that we receive the Lord in the Sacrament of his blessed Supper and the assurance thereof to our Souls to comfort glad and rejoyce them 55. Ah Lord God as for me as for me Ah Lord God the food my Soul desireth at thy Table and Supper that which resatiateth feedeth filleth and refresheth it is the sweet breath and most divine and delitious breathings of thy divine and most holy Spirit into my heart and soul and all the affections and faculties thereof to warm and heat them to ascertain and assure my heart of thy Love and living in it which thou dost O Lord by sanctifying it the will the mind the memory the desires and all the affections and faculties thereof and by making it and them more not only to desire but to perceive see feel and certainly to know its growth and growing more and more in conformity and likeness to thee O God in Christ by loving delighting choosing imbracing and rejoycing in thy Laws ways word will and Commandments I do not blessed O Lord be thy name as do the Papists suppose or believe that I eat thy flesh and drink thy blood as thou wert when thou wert here on Earth in the flesh on the Cross for I know that the Spirit must be fed with spiritual food spiritually the food of the body cannot resatiate or satisfie the Soul and that Soul that hath thus tasted and fed on thee Spiritually will assuredly hunger for this blessed heavenly food of thy holy heavenly blessed most blessed Spirit even for the breathings of this thy Spirit for the joys and ravishments which they enjoy that enjoy and are filled
therefore no Joys but even false Joys and foolish yea very foolish toyes 114. O my soul my soul awake awake and see them their deformity their ugliness their dung and dunghil likeness to those savory sweet pleasant and delightsome pleasures that thou givest out of the Garden the Orchard and the Fountain of pleasures that are in thy Palaces 115. Ah how doth that heart leap and rejoyce when it enjoys thee O God wholly when it enjoys thee only how willing ah how willing is it to be divorced separated and banished from all things whatever that are out of thee and besides thee 116. And how unwilling is it ah how unwilling that the World and the things of the World should have again re-entrance there where thou Lord hast been for it cooleth that warmth it freezeth that beat it quencheth that fire it puts out those flames that did so warm heat burn and flame in the heart that is now as the fire under ashes and as the flame in the smoak it is not discernable 117. How ah how is the heart by the World and the things of the World carted as it were away and drawn by great force from thee O God and thy good From feasting at thy Table of dainties to take and taste and feed on those dirtie hoggish brutish earthly husks or earths husks which cannot solace nor satisfie it for a moment with any true delight of taste or enjoyment 118. How lazie sluggish cold faint feeble and weary is the heart when it is taken off from enjoying thee O God who art its all even all its Joy 119. When it must ah when it must again leave Heaven as it were and the delicacies thereof of liberty freedom peace rest joy riches honours and pleasures and come down from thence and dig and delve hew wood and draw water be a slave as it were to its worst and most cruell Enemy at least not to be altogether free and therefore unquiet restless sad poor contemptible and full of grief 120. How doth ah how doth that heart that truly enjoys thee O God with Jacob say truly feelingly knowingly and certainly that it hath all even all honours riches and pleasures that are to be had on earth or in Heaven 121. How ah how do such spurn away kick at and fly from all other things as if they had poyson in the head and a sting in the tayl even as from monsters that have no mercy 122. Such ah such a heart cannot no no it cannot satisfie it self with these satisfying satisfactions unless he be ah unless he be always as it were drowned in them and swallowed up into them and because he cannot contain them therefore ah therefore he desires to be contained by them 123. How willingly ah how willingly would such a one be poor in the world to have and possess these Ah these true indeed true riches and to live ever in disgrace to be thus graced and to be made lower than the lowest of men To be thus high and lifted up above all these high low things here below how willingly ah how willingly would he still live in contempt and be flouted derided scorned and scoâ—t at among and by men to be thus honoured by God and honourable among the blessed How willingly ah how willingly would he be ever banished from earths home to be thus brought home to enjoy what is at home in Heaven and to feed on the unpleasant sowre bitters of losses crosses and afflictions to drink only of these sweet pleasant streams and rivers of pleasures that flow continually and abundantly from Gods right hand 124. This Ah this is to be brought out of Egypt and over the red Sea and from his weary and long journeying in the wilderness to inherit a quiet and peaceable possession in that true Heavenly Celestial Canaan flowing always with Milk and Honey for here even here in the flesh on earth he enjoys such and so many joyes as far exceed all that ever he did or could ask that ever he did or could think 125. Ah Lord rich in mercy love bounty and great in goodness above Ah much much above all that can be conceived or spoken by Men or Angels set before me Ah set before me always on the one hand my unkindness my sins my blackness soulness uncleanness ugliness and deformity as I am in my self from my self that I may loath detest and abhor them and my self for them and because of them that I may be driven drawn and whipt away from them to thee to hate them to love thee to detest them to adore thee and on the other hand O God my God I may always openly and plainly see thy love and kindness yea loving kindness mercy goodness gentleness patience and forbearance that thereby and therewith I may be enticed allured tyed knit glued fastned swallowed up and involv'd in thee O God my God so as I may never more be divorc'd parted or separated from thee nor thy ways but may long for to enjoy thy most sweet and only sweet and soul satisfying presence and Communion all my days for without thee and out of thee all things are even nothing but with thee enjoying thee we have all things and want nothing and do care for nothing else nor ask nor desire nothing Ah nothing else nay cannot think of any thing else 126. Bless Ah bless me then O Lord my Lord and my God who art the God and Father of Abraham of Isaac of Jacob and of all the blessed who blessest all that are blessed bless O Lord bless I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ all my weak frail and unworthy prayers praises desires and actions make them a blessing so unto me as that thou mayest delight to bless me more and more not for the satisfying of the flesh but of the spirit not of the body only but of the soul also not only the outward but the inward Ah the inward the inward man let me be so blessed in soul and body as that both soul and body may ever bless and praise thee in life in death and after death Amen Amen 127. Ah Lord let me always live in thee move by thee and have all my being from thee that is be all always in all places and things for thee 128. Let Ah let the world and the things of the world seem to be as they are Vanity and Vexation of spirit unto me 129. Let me delight in thee O God only in thee alone 130. Let me always so live as I may always be ready to dye that whensoever I dye I may be sure always to live that is to live Eternally 131. In Heaven O Lord where thou dost raign Where is no grief no loss but gain 132. When that the heart is as it were in God or God in the heart so that the mind doth only mind him Ah how unwilling is it to mind the world or any thing in the world of the world and how willing Ah
or think 27. The law of God is so written in his heart that with his whole heart he desires to keep his whole law 28. His joys are so great and his rejoycings so many that they make him even to suppose that he is in Heaven and to believe that Heaven is in him 29. He feels Gods loves to be so true and so truly nigh him as he values all love besides not worth the loving nor the thinking 30. His soul is so carried away aloft on this high Tide on this full Sea that he swims with ease pleasure delight joy and full contentment against all the streams and strong current of the worlds affections and the fleshes delights and desires 31. Though they were but a moment before so violent and strong that they carried him down even head long which scared and affrighted him so as if the time of deliverance had been far off he durst not Ah he durst not presume to imagine that such a calm was so nigh at hand sinful fleshly motions and affections did in a manner delight him that he even did as it were allow its raign and permit at least would almost have conniv'd and wink'd at the beginnings of evil though he well Ah though he well and clearly foresaw the Consequences to be very great and greatly dangerous 32. But on a sudden Ah on a sudden how did Ah how did all these tentations vanish away how slighted Ah how much slighted how trampled on Ah how much trampled on how cast aside Ah how cast aside how trampled and trodden under feet how soon Ah how soon was the memory thereof forgotten and how sweet Ah how sweet was its forgetfulness delightful its divorce and joyful its destruction 33. And how willing Ah how willing O Lord God thou only knowest that soul is that thus possesseth thee and is possest by thee to live Ah ever to live in this possession and to be for ever and thus ever possest by thee 34. The worlds chief joys are then but meer and foolish toyes he would not no nor cannot give a look on them they are so barren so unfruitful so empty so sottish so brutish to such an enlightned understanding that he cares not to understand nor consider what they are 35. Ah how how doth he wish it might be ever thus with him and that he might be thus ever senceless and dead to the worlds all and account all iâ—s all always nothing at all nay make no account of it no not so much as think of it 36. When that the soul is Ah when that the soul is thus wrapt up in Gods love when she is thus emptied as it were into him and filled with him how is she Ah how is she at rest and ease how calm how tranquil how quiet how rich how honourable and how refresht and delighted how hath she Ah how hath she all her desires and doth not nor cannot desire more Ah what peace what felicity and what praises and giving of thanks how doth she Ah how doth she forget the evil that is past and rejoyceth in the good that is present 37. How is the world and the things of the world cast out of doors and how Ah how are the doors of all his affections opened to let in his God to enjoy him and to make him his all and his only joy 38. Ah my God goe on goe on my God my God to Conquer Triumph and prevail over all the lusts and affections which are yet within me unsubdued uncast out unthrone them O Lord unthrone them and trample them all O Lord all both the great and the small under thy feet in the greatness of thy wrath and fury that they may be utterly destroyed and never more come near me to hurt me or destroy my poor soul who cleaves to thee who sticks fast to thee who desires to hold thee and never Ah never to let thee go Ah that I could that I could thus live with thee and in thee ever and depart from thee never O Lord never never see Psal 28. 39. Great is the goodness of the Lord to those that fear his name And to all those that keep his laws and delight in the same For they shall see him with great joy and shall his honour speak Their joy shall be to laud his name and he shall make them great 40. Oh give your selves to me saith he and I will be your guide And you shall in my Laws remain for I will you delight To walk in them you shall have hearts for all your joy shall be To live to praise my holy name the Lord of Hosts saith he 41. Go forth with joy both ev'ning and morn and let your praise redound Oh clap your hands and greatly joy for that you have him found For having him you have that all that mighty all always There is none else deserves like fame as his Eternal praise 42. O come into his Courts always and therein rest you still Be glad and mightily rejoyce when that you do his will To do thy will is all my joy and all that I desire Ah give me grace to do it still and nothing else require 43. Ah great God how great is thy love and how lovely Ah how lovely is thy greatness 44. What have I Ah Lord my God what have I when I have thee not and what have I not when O Lord God I have thee 45. How low Ah how low are all these high things here below to those high most high and glorious things of Heaven which the soul enjoys even here on earth in the flesh when that it hath Communion with God and enjoys him in the Spirit 46. Of what and how little account and esteem doth he account and esteem of all Companies of Friends Children Father Mother or the Wife of his bosome when he can or may enjoy the company of his God he will not nor cannot then consent to converse with flesh and blood when he may when he can by the spirit through the spirit speak to God and hear him answer him Ah how the soul at such time is satisfied delighted ravished filled and comforted how quiet how peaceable how willing chearful and glad to obey all his will 47. And how detestable hateful loathsome ugly filthy and abominable at such times especially are all lusts all affections worldly and fleshly are all sins of any rank though never so little though never so sweet near or dear he hates all both the great and the small 48. When that a soul enjoys that blessed blessedness of Communion with God it will not Ah it will not have Communion fellowship or converse with any other Creature or thing he will not mind any thing else nor suffer any thing else to come into his mind 49. He is then so stuft as it were and so full filled with God and the joys of his grace that he is divorced emptied and outed as it were of all other things yea all
To have God we must hate our selves that is all even all that is not of God 142. To see God we must put out our own eyes and not see with them but with his eye only only with his 143. To feel God he must be in us and we must be in him 144. To know God we must first know our selves as we are in our selves then Ah then shall we have our eyes opened to see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is by faith from love 145. To hear God we must resolve to be obedient unto him then shall we surely hear his sweet still voice even of his own spirit within us saying Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven thee I am thy God and I will be thy God and thy guide for ever and for ever 146. To fear God is to walk uprightly in all his ways esteeming them all holy just and good 147. How Ah how doth the heart of a Child of God open and shut pant and gape hunger and thirst grieve and groan after the goodness of God which is after his likeness to be like him for it cannot else be satisfied no not with all things not with Heavens all or that is on the earth for God only is all his good 148. I had much rather by much have the grace to please God than the grace of spiritual comfort rather have the grace of Sanctification than of Consolation 149. Let me get and keep my God with the loss of all and I will account it no loss I say no loss at all 150. The world 's all is nothing I say nothing at all to God our all who is only all even all only that is or can be desired 151. Surely surely the very soul of Religion is to serve God sincerely and heartily with our whole hearts and souls 152. For a little Ah for a very little which we give to God he giveth much to us let us not be niggards then if we will or desire to have him bountifull unto us and recompence our little with his much our small with his all 153. No man surely no man ever lost or repented for giving too much to God or for doing too much for him for every mite we rightly give a Talent at least we shall receive thus to love and fear the Lord in truth is true wisdom 154. Ah the happiness the unspeakable great and true happiness to possess God and to be possest by him if then so great here Ah how great shall it be and will it be hereafter if the beginning here bring such unspeakable joys how unspeakable will they be when begun there where we know they will never pass away or have an end 155. I had much rather by much have God with me and in me and feel it and know it and have nothing else than to have him and not feel him and have all that my heart doth or can else desire 156. When Ah when I am in his presence I am so satisfied to the full that I ask after no other satisfaction all other things are not regarded no nor thought on but thought altogether unworthy to be thought on or in the least regarded 157. Possess then Ah possess then O God my God who art all my good my whole heart mind thoughts and affections that I may be all thine and none but thine always thine and ever thine even wholly thine until that thou hast made me such as thou wilt have me to be which is holy as thou art holy pure and perfect as thou O God art even in all things in some measure like unto thee so be it O Lord God so be it Amen and Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1659. 1. IF thou art O God my God I am sure thou wilt be my guide and if thou art my guide O God I am sure thou art my God 2. If O God thou goest with me I am sure that all will go well with me but if thou goest not with me I am sure that what ever I do will be ill with me and for me 3. If thou art mine O God if thou art mine I am sure I am and shall be ever thine but if thou art not mine so sure even so sure it is that I am not thine 4. If I have thee O God for my God I have all I need to have but if I have thee not I have nothing thou knowest of all that I desire and crave 5. Let me then so find thee that I may feel thee in me and feeling may rejoyce with that unspeakable joy which they only feel and find that have found thee and fed on thee 6. Let all things else what ever they be pass away do but thou O God with thine own spirit abide in me I say ever abide in me and I shall I am sure rejoyce and be glad that they be all banisht what ever they be and that it be said of them all they are not they are not at all 7. Let me then O God my God so have thee possess thee find feel and enjoy thee that my heart may be always upright before thee and transform'd and conform'd like unto thee even according to thine own heart holy pure perfect spotless and unblameable that thou mayest henceforth and for ever always and ever own me for thine own 8. I love truth in all things it is only truth that makes all things unto me lovely for where truth is there we may safely and truly say that God is for God is truth 9. Let O God always truth abide in me and I in truth 10. Truth is my joy truth is my delight truth is my food truth is my life truth is to me a continual feast of myrrh mirth and gladness truth always gladdeth my heart and makes it to rebound upward to skip and leap as a Kid on the Mountains and as a Lamb on the Hills 11. Truth is to me as a pretious Oyntment an eye salve it is a healing and a comforting to me always 12. Truth brings down as it were Heaven unto me and carrys me up again into it 13. Truth speaks loud in the ears of my soul and fills it with joy and continual and abundant rejoycings 14. Truth warmeth my heart at all times keepeth the fire of love joy and peace alive that it never goeth out 15. Truth is a Balm to heal all sores to fill up all scarrs to make us without blemish fair and beautifull 16. Truth never grows old but is always young strong and tender it keeps us fast to him and him fast to us whom only we desire to hold fast and never to let go 17. Truth hath power to weaken all that is amiss in us to bring it under until it be conquered finally and destroyed totally 18. Truth inflames our hearts that they are as a fire newly kindled which cannot easily be quenched 19. Truth aboundeth over all and makes us to abound likewise so that we
a thing to us here in the flesh whilst we are as it were so far from him or at least seeing him far off so darkly his back parts only Ah how comforting how solacing how transforming to see his transcendent glorious face as he is to be seen and to hear his sweet and sacred voice audibly that we are his and that he is ours And when he shall have cloathed us with his own likeness and have made us in some small measure glorious as he is glorious for we shall then shine in the glory of our head Christ Jesus putting on his glory 132. Ah Lord God be good unto me and grant that through thine infinite fulness and goodness I may fill others that are empty with these thine overflowings wherewith thou hast filled me that I may feed them with this bread and with those dainties wherewith thou hast been pleased so graciously and plentifully to feed me and that I may by communication inrich them with this same impuissable treasure wherewith thou hast now and heretofore enriched my Soul 133. Let me have nothing Ah Lord let me have nothing for my self alone but let me be always ready and willing to give unto others whatsoever it be that thou shall give to me to carry to them forthwith whatever thou thy self shalt bring me to make them partakers of all whatsoever thou shalt make me at any time yea the best of times partaker of that thou givest it unto me when alone yet grant O God 〈…〉 may esteem it as a common gift that is to make it common by giving it freely liberally and cheerfully not repugningly repiningly or repentingly as thine O Lord as thine that we may altogether go hand in hand speaking thy praises and telling of all what ever thou doest for our Souls 134. Whatever God gives his Children what condition soever he brings them into it is intended by him for their advantage and good therefore they should always reâ—oyce for all things for high degree and â—ow degree for health and sickness for apâ—lause and for contempt and scorn and not â—o do as many do endeavour to turn what God intends for their comforts into sorrowâ—g cares and heaviness and say that they â—re not fit for comforts and joys as if God â—new not what were fit or fittest for them How is it to be pitied and lamented and God knows how I pity them and lament for â—em that thus turn his good into evil even â— themselves and their very Souls that is â—ey labour with might and main what in â—em lies to turn his comforts into discomâ—rts his peace into war his smiles into â—wns his joys into sorrowing to change â—s intendments for their good as much as â— them lyeth unto their own hurt should â—e not be glad when we see and plainly perceive that he intends to glad us and rejoyce when that he intends to fill our cup full of joy shall we say Ah God forbid shew me not Heaven yet give me not â— foretast or a foresight of it yet leave mâ— thus alone and come not O God so nigh mâ— with thy comforts for thy smiles and thy most lovely and gracious presence overcomâ— me I would rather thy absence and thâ— frowns for a little space What shall wâ— be sorry for that God is so good unto us and say that he doth us too much good how dare any man choose any condition fâ— himself how dare any man presume â— think that he knoweth what condition best for him and be so bold as to say that contrary condition to that which Gods givâ— him and sends him would be better for him as if God knew not when best to fill us wiâ— joys and when with sorrows and when â— take the one and the other from us If â— sends me always joys I will always rejoycâ— and if he fill me always with sighing aâ— sorrows I am sure he will fit me for thâ— condition also and also in it to make me â— rejoyce Let the Lord do unto me alwaâ— what seemeth him good what he will â— what I will his will not mine be done nâ— henceforth and for evermore Amen 135. Deal with me O God the God of my Salvation as thou pleasest let the Issue of all things be as thou wilt only give me grace in all things to walk uprightly before thee 136. If we have O God so much cause to serve thee for what we have already received how much more for that O Lord which thou hast promised and which we know thou wilt surely give us 137. Ah Lord let me cling to thee as a sucking Child doth to the breast for 't is from thee that I can only suck the milk of consolation nourishment strength and comfort 138. ' T is thee in us and us O Lord in thee That doth from all sin ever make us free 139. O Lord the Heaven of Heaven doth not contain thee only but thou livest also in the lowest hearts of thy Children as well as in the highest Heavens with thy Servants Abraham Isaac and Jacob. 140. O Lord thou knowest that I am content and willing too to lose much as to my self that I may be able to give a little unto others 141. I would rather write a little for others sakes then hear much for my own sake only 142. This loss I have often had and yet I desire rather much by much to be always a loser than a gainer being more others for the most part than mine own for in some measure and for which I desire Eternally to praise thy name I have what I would have and I am sure I shall never lose it 143. Ah how glad am I when I can glad others thou O Lord knowest the great joys I have when thou art pleased to use me as a means to make others to rejoyce 144. When O Lord thou fillest me and then emptiest me as it were into others I account it not emptying but overflowing 145. So that by my loss others might but gain I care not what loss soever I sustain 146. When O Lord thou speakest to the heart thou preparest that is makest the heart fit to speak fitly and preparedly to thee 147. Thy tongue even thine O Lord maketh our hearts and our hands as the pen of a ready writer always ready to speak or to write 148. Thy graces O Lord many times flow into our Souls as the full Sea with a high Tide loftily and sweetly 149. But Ah how is the soul beneap'd and muddy having no pleasantness when the Tide of thy presence is gone out 150. Return O Lord return return unto me to fill me that I may at least be as often filled with thine overflowings as emptied of them by mine own out-goings 151. Ah that I had thee so O Lord as I might always have thee possess thee so as I might always joy in these sweet pleasant and delightfull enjoyments of thy blessed most blessed presence which only comforts and
choice to chuse fitly and now he alone knoweth my desire my choice my aim and my end Let him do all that seemeth him good his will and not mine be done 198. Ah Lord make me more and more by much to hate all evil because it is evil altogether hateful and therefore to be hated 199. But Ah Lord God let me much more by much love all good because it is good and only lovely and therefore only to be loved 200. Let me hate all evil because it is not of thee O Lord nor from thee nor according unto thee but contrary yea altogether contrary unto thee and therefore hateful only hateful and to be hated only 201. But let me Ah Lord let me love all good and in all because it is from thee O God because it is of thee and according unto thee and therefore lovely beautifull desirable and to be only loved 202. Let me love only that O Lord God which thou lovest and hate what thou hatest and as thou lovest and hatest both the one and the other that is always and for ever and for ever In Bourdeaux Anno 1660. 1. THE happiness of a Christian in this World or in this Life he makes as to me to be strength against all sin even against all both great and small against the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that he may totally overcome and always all sinfull worldly fleshly lustings and affections so that he commit nor consent unto no evil at all either great or small but serve the Lord continually in sincerity and godly simplicity by all his thoughts words and actions doing all good always that is possible to be done at least in his choice will and desire 2. The comfort of a Christian in this life is in purity and holiness of heart mind affection and thoughts endeavouring always with might and main to his very utmost that he be not carried away with vain foolish fleshly thoughts cogitations inclinations or affections The more Spiritual holy heavenly and the more perfect he is the more of the Divine Nature he hath the more of Heavens beauty glory and happiness is in him the more he hath of the glorious beautifull and ever blessed impress of the Image of God in him which shines forth unto his understanding comprehension and reason so irradiously and brightly that he is comforted delighted and refreshed with the very joys and bliss in glory he is made partaker of those very joys though but in a small measure that the Angels and Saints enjoy in Heaven for such a Soul possesseth God and his glory and happiness as they do the difference only is in the measure or quantity and not in the certainty or quality the Saints Cup in Heaven is full to the brim when given them and they drink deep of those pleasures and joys which are at God's right hand But we indeed here have but a snip a tast and away they indeed enjoy these joys always without the least intermission But alas our enjoyment of these joys are short but a very little moment we cannot so comprehend as they do how they are comprehended we see but darkly and know but in part however it is the same that they see and know and so are all things ours as well as theirs both things present and things to come for God being our God we have as much as they have he being our Portion theirs is not nor theirs cannot be greater 3. Thus is a Saint on Earth perfectly substantially and effectually in heaven thou on Earth at times and sees and beholds things there as they are for a Saints heart which is his better part and greatest part is always in Heaven though his body be on Earth his affections are above and burn in the fire of Love always for the things that are above are purity holiness and love his meditations and desires are on his God in his God and for his God and thus he dwelleth in God and God dwelleth in him which is the sole entire and compleat comfort and joy of his life and soul even as it is theirs that enjoy and possess God in Heaven 4. Put these two together a Christians happiness and a Christians comfort for they cannot be separated yea there is such a oneness in them as though they be two yet they seem to be but one true one man may abound more in one of them and the other in another Now I am sure that there is not the Man alive nor never will live that knows the sweet the worth and the excellency of them but will confess and say that such a man is the only happy man the comfortable man the peaceable man the rich and the honourable man Ah man man who ever then thou art that shalt be brought by Providence I mean the Spiritual and most favourable Providence of God to peep here into I pray thee endeavour to pry and look into this perfect Law of Liberty more fully more clearly more plainly than yet thou hast and thou shalt find what I have exprest thy self to be even in Heaven and Heaven to be in thee though thou art on Earth to be in God and God to be in thee which is both men and Angels only good bliss happiness comfort joy and rest which good Lord for thine only holy names sake in Jesus Christ I most humbly beseech thee cause me more and more to know to feel to love and long after and that it may be my only imployment to find out this incomparable good this wisdom of wisdom those joys of all joys the only true and satisfactory and to be desired esteemed and rejoyced in Let me then O God my God I beseech thee be sequestred from all thingâ— that tend to please satisfie refresh solace content or delight the flesh for I earnestly would O God if thou so wilt that thou wouldst always be all mine all for thou alone thou knowest O God my God art only able to satisfie the ambitious and exorbitant covetous desires of my mind heart and soul for it hankers and hangs on thee as thou knowest continually let me have thee O God let me so have thee as I may find and feel that I have nothing else what ever else I may have Let me be swallowed up and consumed in thee yea let me I most humbly beseech thee be as it were dead and sensless to all things out of thee and besides thee and give me grace that I may so live to thee here that I may ever live with thee hereafter as there so here to bless praise magnifie laud honour and extol thy holy ever holy most blessed most great most gracious and most glorious name So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 5. A Christians life should be me thinks but a good thought that is always thinking of God for good or at the most but as two thoughts one of Gods Goodness Love Mercy and
Kindness and the other of our own desperate badness unkindness ingratitude and misery Thus even thus me thinks we should always be all the day long all our days unto the very end of our lives 6. According as is our Spiritual warfare within us so is our peace if there be an universal war in all the faculties of the Soul and members of the body against all sin then and only then do we enjoy peace true peace full peace and perfect peace Wherefore make first a Covenant with thine eyes that they gaze not abroad nor look irregularly or wantonly Secondly with thine ears that thou take no pleasure but avoid to hear all vain idle foolish or sinful talk Thirdly with thine hands that they touch no unclean thing that is that they serve not as an instrument at any time to do any evil Fourthly with thy feet that they carry thee not to do the thing at any time that is not altogether right in Gods sight and esteem Fifthly with thy tongue that thou speak not vainly lightly idly foolishly hurtfully slanderously or sinfully But that which shall honour thy God edifie thee here and comfort thine own soul and give thee joy in the day of the Lord Jesus Christ Sixthly with thy mind that thou mind only the things of God and what are according to his mind Seventhly with thy heart that thou love not seek not choose not prize not any other thing than what is according to Gods heart Eightly with all thy affections to love what God loveth and to hate what God hateth and as he loveth and hateth them in sincerity and truth continually Ninthly and lastly but not the least with thy thoughts to suffer no evil vain idle foolish gadding worldly affection to settle it self there a moment keep out all things thence but thy God and the serious thoughts of his goodness and of thine own badness of his mercy and of thine own misery of his Heaven and of thine own Hell of his glory and of thine own shame of his beauty and of thine own deformity and ugliness of his light and of thine own darkness of his fulness and of thine own emptiness of his fruitfulness and of thine own barrenness of his power and of thine own weakness of his Wisdom and of thine own foolishness of his Patience and of thine own frowardness and peevishness in a word of his riches which is above all over all and more than all things much by much either in Heaven above or Earth beneath and of thine own despicable poverty and nothingness at all only a sinful nothing or nothing but sin 7. If thus thou endeavourest to keep out all things but God and his ways out of all thy thoughts always thou shalt I promise thee live such a peaceable quiet comfortable sanctified holy blessed life as is unutterable unexpressible for as thy thoughts are so will be thy comforts or discomforts thy joys and rejoycings or thy reproaches and bewaylings Do thou thus draw near to God and thou shalt find him and feel him and perceive him and see him to draw near unto thee by his graces here which will bring thee to possess himself his Heaven and his Glory for ever hereafter 8. God doth not give us such a measure of grace here to free us altogether from our Corruptions infirmities and failings for these two ends as I conceive first that we be not lifted up above measure as we should be and think our selves to be something and that we are cloathed and rich and full God knoweth that it is better for us to see our poverty nakedness and emptiness that we may be Inheritors with the Saints in life of all the promises both of things present and to come And not to be shut out of them with the evil Angels and have our Portion in the Lake of fire and Brimstone world without end Again secondly If thus we did live at our hearts ease always without temptations failings or falls we should surely with Peter foolishly make Tabernacles here and not care for any other Heaven for indeed it would be a Heaven But not Ah not such a Heaven as our God hath prepared and provided for us above where we shall see him as he is to be seen and know him as he is to be known If we had here all that we would have or could desire and crave we should not with holy Heavenly enlightned Saint Paul desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ which as he said well truely and divinely was much better by much yea best of all And if we were not at times tempted how should we manifest the gifts and graces of Gods spirit in us as now through grace we do by our fightings strivings struglings wrestlings contendings in the heat of Zeal and fire of fervent love in truth to keep our selves as valiant Combatant◠〈…〉 holy Lists of his Divine and blessed Laws and ways not flinching at all or drawing back in the least or moving a foot But standing it out to the very last breath against all our spiritual Enemies and Adversaries within and without of Devils Lusts worlds Lusts and fleshly Lusts and Corruptions And here by constant and faithful engagements in this holy war in this spiritual combate in this Angelical fight for the honour and glory of the Eternal God the King of Kings and Lord of lords we are confirmed assured strengthned and setled by the whispers and sweet voice of his holy spirit within us to our Souls and Consciences that we shall in due time be made through his strength and continual assistance more than Conquerors and shall at last sit down and rest in peace Triumphantly with the Patriarchs Prophets Apostles Martyrs and Saints wearing for ever the Crown of Victory and Glory in Glory and be arrayed with the long white robes of Christs righteousness worthiness merits and obedience and ever live with him and his bliss enjoying for ever and ever his presence his Heaven yea himself who is the bliss of all bliss the Top and Crown of all joy the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven and the glory beauty splendor and sublimit◠of Glory in Glory 9. See then and consid 〈…〉 ess and muc◠better doth God deal with us and carve to us than we can or would for our selves how much Ah how much better is he to u◠and for us then we would be to and for our selves how much more over and above hath he prepared for us and will surely give us than we are able to ask than we are able to think wherefere let us learn to let him alone and pray him to deal with us and do for us as seemeth him good and always say in all things so Lord so would I have it seeing thou wilt have it so 10. I also conceive that God suffers us to fall at times for this end or the like that by our fall we may learn and be made to stand the faster to rise the higher
and to stick the closer unto him who only is able to hold us up and to keep us from falling me thinks if we did not sometimes fall not that I desire to fall or stumble at all neither to sin in the least to have grace abound but me thinks if we did not at times fall we should not see his Fatherly love so clearly so greatly in taking care of us to preserve us by protecting of us from greater evils and dangers for when he hath lifted us up again after we have fallen Ah how do we cling to him how do we hold him fast how do we endeavour to have him always in our sight and how do we cry after him when we perceive any evil of affliction or temptation to be nigh us and how do we cast our selves down before him at his feet and bewail our infirmities and weaknesses begging strength from him to support and keep us up how do we wonder and are astonisht to see the fire of his wrath kindled against the wicked and against evildoers and yet that such wicked evildoers as we are are not consumed to see fire in the bush and yet the bush not burnt 11. Thus we may plainly see that God seeth all to be good for us yea best of all which he sendeth us causing every thing to work together for our good Ah seeing then that his love mercy and goodness is such and so great for us let us always mightily prise him and prize him at the very highest price and give up our spirits souls and bodies to live to him and for him and unto and for his praise honour and glory it being our glory and our honour our happiness and our bliss that he is such a God as he is To him alone therefore be given always all honour glory and praise for ever and for ever 12. Laying out is laying up laying out of earthly treasure on earth with a heavenly heart is to lay up heavenly treasure in Heaven according to Gods words and his heart 13. God giveth unto his Children of his own strength to overcome as it were himself he delighteth to be as it were overcome by them And to make us more than Conquerours 14. Ah the mercy the mercy and bounty of God and the misery of man that God being such a God as he is should notwithstanding continue to do so much for man and man nevertheless continue continually to do so much against his God I say against his God even then when he knoweth God to be his God 156. Ah Lord how is it that thou should'st take pleasure to mind us so much as thou dost although thou knowest well our evil minds and how little we mind thee and although thou tellest us by thine own spirit how that we are near and dear unto thee even always in thy mind and heart to do us good for ever and for ever Ah how great is our misery to have such depraved natures and such Devil-like hearts to pay thy merciful kindness with such high unkindness and ingratitude to thee who art our only good 16. How is it O Lord that thou takest such continual care and pains as it were and art at so much cost to overcome us with thy loving kindness and yet we remain so brutish and sensless stupid and unkind that we will not but refuse to he overcome 17. Ah the misery the misery of man who is never weary nor would never be weary of doing evil yea all manner of evil against his most kind and loving Lord and God who is so good to him as he is never weary nor repents of doing of him good notwithstanding his continual doing of evil or doing of all evil continually 18. A good heart giveth unto the Lord freely cheerfully willingly and rejoycingly of all that he hath and always acknowledgeth and saith of thine own O Lord I will and do give thee 19. When that the Lord giveth unto such a soul Grace he giveth him Glory when he giveth him outward things he praiseth him and enlargeth his bowels of compassion unto the Saints 20. Such hearts desire mightily largeness of heart or large hearts to give according to what they receive whether it be Spirituals or Temporals nothing is so near or dear unto them as the work of the Lord which is to do his will in all things from the very highest of Grace to the very lowest of things in Nature 21. Ah Lord God let me always bear thee in mind when ever I mind that is think on any thing 22. Let me O Lord I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee do every thing that I do as knowing and remembring that thou seest and knowest all the thoughts of my heart and writest down all my words and works on thy blessed book of remembrance 23. Let me do all that I do before men as before thee O God my God knowing that thou seest it and hearest it 24. And all that I take in hand to do O God before thee Let me do it all as if all the men in the World did look on me and see it 25. Notwithstanding the greatness and numberless number of my sins thy goodness O God was so great towards me as moved thee to have compassion on me and to pour out thy endless and everlasting love and kindness in mercy upon me 26. Also O God thou causedst my own sins to appear so great and filthy before me that I was thereby ashamed of my self and confounded before thee 27. So that seeing my self thus polluted filthy abominable and unclean yea abominably unclean I left my self willingly I hated and do hate my self truly and I embraced through Grace thy most gracious offers of Grace Love and Mercy heartily and unfeignedly returning unto thee with my whole heart desiring entirely and sincerely an entire change from all evil to all good from my own evil ways to thy most blessed ways that are so good so sweet so beautiful so delightful that since the knowledge of them my soul hath been often delighted refreshed feasted and satisfied in them and with them 28. Ah mercy of mercies that thou wouldest O God be pleased thus in mercy to look on me when I was fit and ripe for all thy Judgments And when thou mightest justly have poured out the viols of thy wrath and fury upon me with the greatest indignation that then even then to kindle the flames of Love in my heart from the continual burnings in thine O God in thine to love fear seek adore and serve thee unfeignedly with my whole heart Ah what mercy to this mercy 29. Continue O God that art my God and only good continue Ah continue I most humbly beseech thee to be thus merciful unto me that I turn not thy Grace into wantonness but in some râ—easure labour and strive to walk worthy of these thy rich and saving mercies with which thou hast and wilt for ever inrich my poor Soul with and save it 30. As
thee and what is there on all the Earth in comparison of thee all other joys are false joys and all other things are nothing but meer toyes for with thee O God and only with thee is all joy unspeakable joy and everlasting pleasures are at thy right hand 169. Ah Lord our God thou art all in all things for without thy presence the best and the greatest things are nothing to that Soul that knoweth thee what thou art 170. Thou art O God the sweet of all sweets the light of the light the glory and the bliss in glory As in thy presence is all joy So in thy absence is all sorrow to all Souls that are acquainted with thee and to whom thou hast manifested thy self Therefore the Angels those glorious knowing Creatures endeavour to pry into all thy mysteries Such an endless and bottomless delight there is in them all from the greatest to the very least of all 171. This indeed is such a high and glorious Mount from which we may justly desire never to come down but to have there our abiding place A Tabernacle to dwell in for ever and for ever not only to behold the glory of our Lord but the Lord himself of all our good and our glory 172. Ah Lord God that art the wisdom of the wise the strength of the strong the honour of the honourable the power of the powerful the might of the mighty the riches of the rich the goodness of those that are good the blessedness of the blessed the beauty of the beautiful the joy of those that rejoyce the light of those that see thy light the Crown and the glory of those that are in glory Thou only art and there is none besides thee our God even God blessed for ever and for ever 173. Ah Lord I know and am assured that it cannot be better with me than to be with thee 174. And to be with thee here on Earth whilst on Earth thou knowest O God that I esteem it to be my only Heaven 175. Let me thus have thee I say always have thee thus and thou knowest O Lord that knowest all things that I have all that I would have for thou only art all mine all 176. Ah that thou wouldst O God take all things from me that hinder thy blessed approach to me and that cause me to draw back from thee 177. Ah Lord thou knowest that there is nothing that I have but I most willingly offer thee and would cheerfully give thee to have thee 178. My life is not dear to me at all to spend for thee thou knowest O God my God that I account it a thing of nought If thou wilt have it O God take it for I confess it 's thine and not mine 179. Yea I trust that all mine is thine that I am thine all both Spirit Soul and Body and that thee O God and all thine is mine both thy Kingdom power and glory for ever and for ever 180. Ah blessed change to be thus changed into all blessedness even so as to have the Lord God for our everlasting Portion 181. Weary me O Lord God weary me more and more of my self that I may be dissolved and be with thee which is best of all 182. For out of thee O God my Heart is not satisfied neither can any thing but thy self satisfie it either that is in Heaven above or on the Earth below 183. What O Lord what shall I say unto thee thou knowest all things and of me and my Heart more than I can tell thee make me and it O God such as thou wilt have me to be that thou maiest ever own me for thy own 184. Ah Lord Let me be always on the wing after thee yea let me pursue hard after thee continually let me run and not grow weary and walk and not faint 185. O God that art my God heat I beseech thee my affections increase my desires build me up that I may be a living stone in thy house and ever speak loudly thy praises 186. Ah Lord God let me always have before me Heaven and Hell let me see Heaven as it is prepared for the Just and Hell as it is prepared for the unjust Heaven for those that ever eyed it and rejoyced in it and Hell for those that never feared it nor believed it but by their ungodly lives lived as if there had not been either a Heaven to recompence the Godly or a Hell to punish the ungodly 187. Ah Lord cause me always to eye those things that are invisible that eye never saw that ear never heard nor that ever entred at any time into the heart of any man to conceive even those endless everlasting joys that thou hast O God prepared in Jesus Christ and laid up for all those that love thee 188. Let me Ah let me always harken to hear that sweet and blessed voice of thy Holy Spirit within me saying of all the glory that is in glory these are all thine yea all that is mine is thine and thou art mine 189. Ah Lord let me never forget that all these earthly things must pass away us in a moment in the twinkling of an eye But that our Souls are immortal and shall live for ever and ever in endless unexpressible joys or endless everlasting unexpressible Torments 190. How low Ah how low are the conceptions of any brain yea the words of Men or Angels to express and shew forth the life to come either of the one or of the other of those beloved of God that shall ever live and abide in his Love which is in himself or for those that are so hated by him as shall for ever be cast out of his blessed presence and enjoy the cursed wretched company of the Devils and his Angels in burning and unquenchable flames where shall be yelling and roaring weeping and wailing curses and horrid blasphemies against that God and his goodness which they know is holy just and good and this as fuel shall feed that fire that cannot be quenched and give life to that gnawing worm an accusing condemning Conscience that shall never dye and thus those poor Souls must and shall live everlastingly 191. Ah Lord God give me Faith to believe and grace to repent that I come not into this place of torment but for ever enjoy those eternal and everlasting joys that thou hast from all Eternity prepared and wilt only give unto those for whom thou hast prepared it 192. Come Lord Jesus come quickly and fill me and feed me and satisfie me here with thy good things that I may ever live to enjoy them and thee 193. Thy appearances O great God are like thy self yea they are thy self but few I fear there are that thus see them and know them thus thy power thou shewest most in weakness in such as see confess and acknowledge themselves to be weak for thou makest the weak strong and causest many times the very meanest and simplest even those
be thine and thou ours Ah Lord God I praise thee thou hast often given me the seal of thy Love thy Holy Spirit witnessing assuring establishing and perswading my Soul heart and conscience of the free full and gracious pardon of all my sins past present and to come Thou hast often O God I praise thee thus covered me thus spread the banners of thy Love over me thus made me sit under the shadow of thy branches thus feasted my Soul in thy banquetting house of Love rest peace and joy thus shewn me thy beauty and thy glory thus allured me and tyed me fast unto thy self with the cords of thy divine Love thus shewn me thy great Salvation thus given me wisdom and knowledge to know thee my God and Father and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent thus caused me to believe and hereby made my joys full to admiration adoration and astonishment On this glorious Mountain of Grace have often I desired to abide that I might continue to abide with thee to enjoy thee who only art full and perfect joy but I know that these changes shall and must come as Winter and Summer whilst we are here in the flesh but the time will come that thou wilt change us but once more and then we shall live with thee in thee and to thee for ever and for ever Ah Love who can speak of it fitly or as he should it is thy Divine Nature O God it is thy self and therefore men nor Angels cannot declare it this three-fold Cord thy Love O most blessed and glorious Trinity cannot be broken and against it the gates of Hell shall never prevail Ah greatness that 〈◊〉 good although thou hast in Heaven Millions of Millions of most glorious Creatures to look on and converse with yet notwithstanding such is thy profound humility and condescendence love and goodness that thou wilt and dost behold yea and delight too to behold and communicate unto us poor worms sinful dust and ashes the richest choicest greatest and most peculiar treasures of thy grace and glory even of the very same though in a far less degree and measure as thou dost unto them that are with thee in Heaven thou givest us knowledge to know thee love to love thee joy to rejoyce in thee and rest to roul and rest our selves on thee they indeed eat and are filled drink deep and are resatiated see thy face and are altogether satisfied But we indeed here do eat but the fragments or crums of their so Royal Feast and Banquet we do but sip of the cup of which they drink so deep and this to us is but at times but they are always thus replenished and filled with the good things of thy House we indeed see thee O God but very darkly at the best sight of thee to their sight we know but in part at the highest pitch of our attainments here in the flesh and joy and rejoyce but at times the World Ah this wretched World and the things of the flesh as cloggs yea as Mountains of Earth pull us down to the Earth when our Souls are as on Eagles wings soaning up to Heaven and pull us back when we are as it were peeping into Heaven yea when O God thou dost as it were pull back the vail that we might see even into the Holy of Holies thus thou feedest and feastest us at times with the very bread the blessed with thee feed on and causest us to drink the Wine of the same Vintage and we in thy Son Jesus Christ see our selves clean undefiled without spot or wrinkle pardoned justified sanctified yea as if we were already glorified with thine own glory true they have their portion in hand in possession ours is by promise yet to receive but we have thy Word O God who art just true and unchangeable and therefore we can and do rejoyce as well as they and with the same joy And thus O Christ my Saviour and Redeemer I know thou wilt present me unto thy Father even in thine own righteousness worthiness and obedience they shall all be imputed unto me as if they were mine own and in these thy glorious robes I am sure and certainly perswaded I shall find acceptance before God thy Father who will not be ashamed to own me for his own nor to be called my God and my Father I know and confess Ah my dear Redeemer that all my bliss and happiness present and future consist in being united unto thee and as having an interest and sure title to thy worthiness and obedience for in thee and in thee alone we are heirs of all mercies and blessings out of thee we are heirs of all miseries in thee we are children of the Father but out of thee children of the Devil in thee we shall be accepted and accounted worthy but out of thee rejected and esteemed unworthy in thee we shall pass for obedient even as if we had never transgrest nor sinned but out of thee we can be lookt on but as disobedient and transgressors of all thy most holy Laws and Divine Commandments in thee O Christ I say in thee we 〈◊〉 fit for Heaven but out of thee only fit for Hell in thee O Christ in thee we are the Fathers delight but out of thee his hatred in thee O Christ in thee we have much boldness and free access to the Throne of Grace but out of thee only shame and confusion of face in thee O Son of Righteousness we are more resplendent glorious and beautiful than the Sun but out of thee Ah out of thee we are blackness ugliness and deformity in thee O thou the only all we have all things but out of thee we want all things Ah that thou wouldest give me more and more of thy self that I might give thee more of my self Ah that thou wouldest so live in me that I might only live to thee and for thee who art the liâ—â— of my liâ—e yea much better than ten thousand lives Thus even thus thy blood O Christ speaketh good things to us and for our souls for whom thou hast dyed it opens Heaven gates unto us when it shuts them against others it appeaseth the Fathers wrath towards us when it causeth it to burn against others it procureth us all good when it preventeth all against others it maketh our peace so that we shall ever live in rest and peace with thy Father the God of Peace with thy self the Prince of Peace and with thy Holy Spirit the Spirit of Peace when to others it shall make War for ever and for ever Ah my dear Saviour send down I most humbly beseech thee thy Holy Spirit into my heart to sanctifie purifie and purge me from all dead works from the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that I may live as thou didst live here in the flesh doing all the good was possible to be done from the highest of Grace to the very lowest
of Nature that it may be no longer I that live but thee in me and that even whilst I live here in the flesh it may be by thy Faith and in thy Faith O Son of God who hast loved me and given thy self for me O Lord I believe increase I beseech thee my Faith that I may increase in strength grow in grace from one degree unto another that having finisht my Course here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour and after this life ended live with thee and in thee in bliss and glory world without end Ah Lord God seeing I have taken upon me to speak be thou pleased to hear me and to continue to inspire and teach me to direct and instruct me by thy holy spirit that I may yet prize thee and praise thee for thy late great and sweet mercies poured and showred down so gratiously and plenteously into my heart and soul on my Bed of Sickness Ah how greatly hast thou been pleased to strengthen and comfort me and to make me to rejoyce in and over all my pains yea making the thoughts of Death and that King of terrors to be pleasant and comely in my eyes Ah the Mountains the Mountains the Floods Rivers Wells and Springs of true Joy that thou hast been pleased O God in Jesus Christ by thy holy Spirit to communicate unto my Soul Heart and Conscience feasting and filling me in the assurance of thy gracious and divine love and the pardon of all my sins the flouds O God of thy most sweet and blessed presence have often covered me and swallowed up my soul into the Ocean of thy unexpressible and infinite goodness Thus even thus thou raisest up those that are fallen comfortest those that are afflicted healest those that are sick strengthenest those that are weak enrichest those that are poor cloathest those that are naked and settest poor Prisoners free that they may freely rejoyce in thee and this Joy I am sure none can nor none shall take from me for being thus redeemed and made free by thee O Christ we are free indeed and shall with thee enjoy perfect Freedom and Liberty And now O Lord God what shall I render unto thee for all thy many and special mercies which thou hast been pleased so richly graciously freely and plentifully to pour down upon my poor soul and body I have nothing to offer thee but what is already thine own all is thine O God I confess all mine is thine and I am thine give me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ who is worthy a heart according to thine own heart that I may walk worthily before thee all the remainder of my days not turning aside or going astray to the right hand of pleasures or the left hand of profits and that I may make it my daily food to keep thy holy Laws yea my Heaven here on earth to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Let henceforth all my thoughts words and actions tend to honour and glorifie thee my good God and Heavenly Father making thine honour only my honour and thy glory my glory redeeming the â—orepast time of my life by an exact serious carefull watchfull and holy walking in thy most holy ways and never be truly satisfied till thou hast altogether sanctified me in spirit soul and body so that I may always see my self in thee and thee in me and know my self to be thine and thee to be mine Ah Lord thou knowest all my thoughts affections and desires yea my very heart what then shall I say unto thee make me I beseech thee such as thou would'st have me to be fit me for thy self and take me to thy self do for me what thou knowest to be best for me that I may glorifie thee not what I will but all that thou wilt both on soul and body that I may live that life and dye that death by which I may glorifie thee most is all and the only desires of my heart and soul so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen Ah Lord God that knowest all things thou knowest what is my end and aim in publishing this thy work thine it is and I trust thou wilt own it and therefore I seek no other power to patronize or protect it and thou owning of it I care not who disown it thou esteeming of it I care not who dis-esteem it thou approving of it I care not who dis-approve of it and that thou wilt do this and bless it too unto the hearts of many O Lord I believe and therein rejoyce that it shall prove a Cordial to some and a Corrosive unto others a plaister of healing to some and a sharp Launce to make the wound deeper of others even as a savour of life to some and of death to others to cast down some and to raise up others to condemn some and to justifie others to give trouble to some and peace to others for some scoffing deriding Ishmaels railing Shimeis sinfull Critical censures I cannot but think it will meet with in this sinfull ignorant Nation and times because it hath not the false visage on which they prize that is the invention and flourishes of the brain of humane Wisdome for such Ah Lord it is not intended neither by thee I know nor by me so I shall not I trust care for or be a whit troubled at such Curs snarling or barking for power I know they shall not have to bite or hurt me But some true Nathaniels in whom there is neither gall nor guile some spiritually wise unto Salvation that are able to judge of all things having that anointing in them that is truth and no lye and which teacheth and instructeth them in the truth many such I hope and trust it shall also meet with and for them and for them only it is I hope by thee O Lord my God intended and so thou knowest it is by me that they with me may together laud and praise thee and give thee the honour due unto thy holy Name for all thy gracious works of wonders wrought in and on my poor Soul I know O Lord that what thou hast thus in the abundance of thy mercies given me is not for my self alone neither may I monopolize it to my self hide away this my Talent in this my house of Clay not keep this Star or rather Sun-light from others but thou expectest and requirest I know well that as I have freely received so that I freely impart of it and give it as thine unto others that I should refresh them with the same refreshing wherewith thou hast refreshed my poor unworthy Soul and comfort and make glad their hearts with the same comforts that thou hast made glad and comforted mine and give them to eat and drink of that true bread and water of life wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently fed feasted solaced and refreshed me and as it were inrich them with the true riches of saving
in us What ah what so sweet as to feed continually on these true heavenly sweets here on earth which are the very sweets of Heaven in Heaven 108. I do now wonder that any man hath or can have any peace a moment that hath not his peace made sure or a sure peace made with God 109. All other quiet ah how unquiet will it prove in the end that is not founded or grounded on this sure foundation or ground of Gods love in Jesus Christ 110. I wonder Ah I wonder men are not as it were continually torn in pieces with sears and cares till all these sears are taken away by a lively living Faith and their whole cares cast on Christ 111. I wonder Ah I wonder that terrors do not always terrifie them that Hells torments do not affright and amaze them until that they have a sure and certain confidence that Christ hath redeem'd them from it 112. I wonder yea I much wonder that any man can call any thing else a good thing but only this one thing that is so good even Christ's goodness and that he is mine and that I am his even bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and that I am sure he hath so loved me as to give himself for me to dye in my place and stead So that I am now reconciled thereby unto God who is become my Father and my God 113. I wonder Ah I much wonder now that any man can desire to live any other life or dye any other death than to God and for God 114. I wonder now yea I now do very much wonder that all men do not seek this one thing necessary so necessary to give up themselves even all their all unto God by good works and a holy life to live to him only by whom they only live and for whom only they are and were created 115. I wonder Ah I wonder now that any other life can give or should give us any or the least pleasure for thus to live in for and to God is only to live and he that thus lives lives only and none but such do live for those and all those that live not unto God are dead though they be alive yea though they do live 116. The worst of men and all men and at all times wish to dye the death of the righteous as Balaam did but few Ah few sincerely desire to live the life of the righteous for if they would they might and be assured to their eternal and everlasting joy that if they did so live they should so dye and then so live with God and in God eternally 117. Ah let us then not only desire but also earnestly labour and endeavour so to live in this life as we would live in the after life when this life shall be no more and to hate sin and love righteousness now as those do and shall then and as we shall likewise if we live in God with them and he that so loves and hates here shall ever live in Love for ever hereafter 118. Let us love the Lord heartily in all things and for all things knowing assuredly that all things that he doth unto us are in Love 119. Therefore if the Lord strike me I will rejoyce in it because it is his hand doth it yea I will therefore mightily rejoyce 120. What ever the Lord doth unto me I will rejoyce mightily in it because he doth it and because he doth it unto me therefore I know it is best for me and I know that his end in it is to make me to rejoyce 121. Strike then O Lord strike strike and spare not either on my body or Soul goods or good name when thou wilt where thou wilt and in what manner soever thou wilt I am ready most ready and most willing to praise thee to laud extol and magnifie thee and to declare that so I would have it yea that I would only have it so for thou knowest O Lord my heart and therefore that with my heart I heartily desire to be and have what thou wilt have me to have and to be thy will O God thy good will and not mine let be always done in me and upon me 122. I desire to live in God only that I may only live to and for his glory 123. To glorifie God is true glory the glory only which is true 124. To possess God is true riches the riches only which is true 125. To get God is to get all for all things else are nothing nothing yea nothing at all 126. To be with God is to be free for all things Lord are still in thee 127. Thou art that all that only all that ever was and ever shall 128. I have nothing wherein to boast but in the Love and Mercies of my God and of his Mercies and Love I am resolved ever to boast 129. He that possesseth God possesseth all things that he would possess and careth not nor asketh not nor regardeth not any other possessions 130. He that feareth God rightly feareth no other fears how dreadful or fearful soever they be no not his many great fearful sins nor death the King of terrors and fears 131. He that enjoyeth God hath all the joyes he would enjoy or can desire to have for to him God is much more by much than all and above all things that can be enjoyed 132. He that loveth God truly and rightly hath all that he loveth because he loveth nothing like him or in comparison oâ— him either in Heaven above or on the Earth beneath 133. He that pleaseth God by walking wellpleasing before him hath and he can desire no other pleasures for to keep his Laws is all his delight and the only thing that bringeth joy to his heart and that feasteth his Soul with marrow and fatness yea with all pleasant things 134. He that thus giveth up himself to God and acknowledgeth him for his all shall have of him here as well as hereafter much I say much above all that he is able to ask or think 135. He that only willeth Gods will hath always his own will at all times in all places and conditions 136. He that giveth himself to God may be sure that God hath given himself unto him more sure and therefore all that God hath is his 137. He that would no other good but God hath God and therefore all good for he that hath God sure hath all things else sure he may be sure for in him are all things and from him come all things therefore to him alone and unto none else be only all honour and all glory for ever and for ever 138. Ah what a blessed yea most blessed Heaven is it to walk in the ways of God which will assuredly lead us and bring us to the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 139. To possess God we must dispossess our selves of our selves 140. To be filled with God we must empty our selves of our whole selves 141.