Master let me be hang'd too and go to Heaven presently Triv. No no I will see a little more Oh the lovely Vision Now do I see a great many of my old acquaintance and some poor Tenants of my Father's that are dead going up and down these Stairs and taking out the great pieces and playing with 'em at Coits and tossing about the little ones like Tennis-balls Guard Oh Lord Master let me go to Heaven too for God's sake I can stay no longer I will slacken the Rope Triv. Now the Devil take thee for a cross fool it s all gone again Guard Nay good Master ben't angry but hang me a little too Triv. Come and thou wilt on that condition thou 'lt hang me again Pulls off his Cap. Guard I will indeed Master Trivultio puts the Garter about his Neck and the Cap on his Head and pulls hard Triv. What dost thou see now Guard Nothing yet Master but a black Mist Speaks as if he were almost strangled Triv. picks the key of the door out of his pocket shows it and runs and unlocks the door and and locks it again upon him And yet methinks the Rope is hard enough Triv. Oh 't will clear up by and by Guard Pull a little more I see nothing in the World yet but a great Fog Pull for God's sake Master Why don't you pull Master where are you Pulls off his Cap and misses him Triv. Here Boy here is the Myst clear'd up yet Peeping in at the Gate Guard How the Devil got you there Feels for his Key and misses it Triv. How many Checquins have you got in the other World will you play at Coits or Tennis with ' em Are they as heavy as Venetian Money sure they are light they could not toss 'em so nimbly else Guard goes to the door and finds it lock'd Guard Oh the Traytor stop Thief stop The Scene changes to a part of the Senate-House Enter Intrigo and a Door-keeper Door-k If you be discover'd I shall be sent to the Gallies for none are admitted into the Senate-House but Gentlemen of Venice Int. Fear not here 's twenty Checquins for you Door-k Here Sir you may lye at large in this great Trunk of Records 't is a little Dining-room Shows him the Trunk I 'll get a hole made on purpose to put out your Head and Hands that you may listen and take Notes Int. Very well How shall I hug my self to hear the condemnation of these imprudent Revellers and besides dive into the fresh Intrigues and Cabinet Councils that come piping hot from Rome How freely will this Cardinal empty himself into this bosom of mine and know not who has drain'd him This Art do we Politicians call pumping by Proxy or the Magical Screw The Scene shuts upon ' em Enter Trivultio So so I am got off clear Now for another device to help my friends The Cardinal Legate is newly come to Town and scarce known to any man in Venice Great Bodies move slowly and he does not think the Senate is in such great haste I will have a trick to prevent this Cardinal The greatest difficulty will be to get Hircanio's Daughter But Cornanti is bound to make the Match for me for the kindness I did in curing him of Jealousie And shall I then attempt his wife again Ingrateful God of Love Pox on 't in matter of Women the deceit is Trivial Civiliz'd Mankind that live in Towns lye with one anothers Wives as Gentlemen cheat in Horses by a Tacit compact and rule among themselves Let Cornanti pursue his inclinations I 'll follow mine Man's Gratitude may sometimes rise from Pride Friendship to others from the first writ Law Of pleasing of himself why may not I endure The burden of a wilful obligation And not be tossing it still back again To one who throws it upon me to ease himself For why should Mankind live by Rule and Measure Since all his Virtue rises from his Pleasure ACT V. The SCENE The Senate-House The Senate sitting the Doge and Procurators of S. Marks and all the Officers the Prisoners at Bar Sfor. Parh. Cor. Bell. Visc. Mel. Trivultio disguis'd like the Cardinal Legat. All in form of Judicature 1 Sen. The boldest frolick this wise State has known 2 Sen. 'T is Treason in a high degree 3 Sen. 'T was nothing but an amorous Gambol 4 Sen. One of Cupid's Conspiracies The God that drolls at Law But hear the Advocate-General Signior Satana arises up in his Bar-Gown Sata Most Gracious Fathers I thank auspicious Heav'n I find you here That no black unprevented crime has caus'd Your absence or Adjourn'd your Session to another World For since this Infant-Commonwealth first strugled Out of its Chaos and assum'd this glorious form There never was such dark such hellish practice Not to be spoke of if not acted first Nor told to list'ning Children but with sharpest vengeance Lest they should conne the Crimes or hate their Fathers For their supine Indulgence But what was this designe Nought but subversion of the State A Peccadillo Nought but the breaking the most curious frame The World can boast of since the Heavens were built A Love toy Making a Chaos of a Firmament A pretty fidling dancing kissing Treason But where was this even in the Doge's Palace The sacred Fort and safeguard of the Prince And when Even in the Carnival that time of Licence When all Men may turn Traytors And by whom Even by Soldiers and by Forreigners Men that have Int'rest in the Camp and Closet None in the Senate Men that have no Bowels Nor native tenderness for this our Mother But you 'll say 't was but A merry meeting with some Women in 't A Play with Snakes to make it innocent No Vice is perfect but a Woman 's in 't Women the Lures of Schismaticks and Rebels The Pleas of Nature in the mouth of Grace Those Cables twisted round with silken Threads Of immaterial Doctrines that would quickly break But for the strong attractives under-woven Hir. True Learned Satana 't was a horrid Treason And should the Senate wink at this great Crime Like Manlius with these Hands I 'de Sacrifice My Offspring to just Vengeance 2 Sen. Spoke like his Ancestors 1 Sen. This was a forreign project 2 Sen. The King of Spain's The Universal Monarch Intrigo putting his Headand Handsout of the Trunk unseen to the Senate Int. Like enough the King of Spain a hand in Stealing the Man's Daughter Notes it in a Table-Book 4 Sen. This 't is to favour Strangers 3 Sen. Yet some not stick to say 't was but a Wedding The more suspitious Was not the execution Of Protestants at Paris acted at one 4 Sen. But were there no designe Yet in the rigor of the Law 't is death To go disguis'd in Arms expresly 'gainst The Letter of the Act of Ordelafo For Swords and Vizors ne'r were worn together But in believing England where Saints turn Rebels 2 Sen. Let 'em dye
Duegna I will patiently expect another Summons Exit The SCENE the Doge's Palace with the same Furniture as before Sforza walking in it with his veil'd Mistress Sfor. Bless me great Gods what do I see my glorious Prison the very same Room the same Furniture and the same Guards in Masks The Princess unveils and he falls on his knees Oh Heavens the self-same person Parh. What will you yet adore your shame-fac'd Idol Sure she 's an Angel 'cause invisible Or must I force you once again Drollingly Sfor. Mysterious Goddess Blame not my disobedience mis-led by duty I 'm yours by such a cloud of Titles that I 'm lost in 't Slave to your Beauty Subject to your Wit And Captive to your Power but as wise Princes Who conquer Kingdoms though by Law their own Claim by the Sword as the sublimest tenure And scorn all other wrangling competitions So let me be the Vassal of your greatness Though Wit and Beauty Empires without Arms Chain me too fast kept in material Shackles And in the meanest Drudgeries employ'd Where I may view my Tyrants glorious Image Parh. I 'll not mistrust your Virtue nor my Charms Your constancy has made me value both Nor call him Captive that 's invincible Love 's no Usurper but a Natural Prince So good he needs no Laws nor Customs to Restrain him nor to protect him Arms Harmless with Forces irresistible Invulnerable with naked Innocence Then you shall be my Prisoner but at large Confin'd from nothing Love invites you to Sfor. And Honor shall be judge what Love shall do Enter Cornanti leading Aurana and Trivultio leading Bellinganna Corn. A jolly company y'faith if we had the Fiddles Walks about Singing Parh. What broke loose again Cousin Aur. Pray Madam how came you to hear of my escape Parh. Oh my Consin Bellinganna and I have kept a constant correspondence Well Count that you may not be miserable alone here are some other fellow-Prisoners to Matrimony Sfor. If happiness may be increas'd by participation or if I can receive any addition to what I have already it is to see my friend Trivultio so Triv. Thanks dear Count. Sfor. But Madam one doubt remains yet unresolv'd Who were your Angels and who your Ghosts Parh. These were my Ghosts Pointing to her Guards And these my Angels Pointing to her Women and Pages Cor. I have a pretty crochet just now come into my Head Yonder Parhelia and Bellinganna talk together Trivultio o' my conscience is very honest and would not cuckold me if he might and my Wife 's a Woman of Honor I have try'd 'em both therefore will I cuckold him Ah quil est doux de faire son cher amy Cocu Come hither pretty Soul I do intend to make Trivultio my Heir will you give me leave to visit you when your Husband 's from home Aur. 'T will be the greater favor Sir that you will own me in his absence Cor. So so Done and Done as plain as up and ride Look how the poor fellows looks at me As jealous Triv. and Bell. pry at him and counterfeit a jealousie as a Goose And my Wife too I Sir if you knew how near you were being a Cuckold Laughs How sneakingly a man looks that 's jealous Aside But me thinks the Rogue begins to look a squint at me Triv. I 'll fright him a little Hark you Sir do you endeavour to corrupt my Mistress Angrily Cor. ' Slife what shall I say Thy Mistress not for a world I 'm not such a Rogue Make a Whore of her I intend shall bring Heirs to my Family Triv. It seems you intend to get 'em your self Come come Sir 't is no jesting matter I over-heard you Cor. Ha ha he Was it not fit for me to try whether she were honest or no Thou shouldst never have had her else my Son and Heir marry a Whore I 'de see her burnt first If it had been any other Woman I had been in earnest la. Triv. Was it only so I 'm satisfy'd Cor. Oh are you so There 's wit for you at a dead pinch la Poor easy Milk-sop that shan't serve thy turn Thou art already Listed and Inroll'd Into the Honorable Society Corna Corna Corna chi vuol hauer di Corna Sings Hark thee Trivultio I have forty thousand Crowns to spare let me see how many Whores will that make Triv. Faith Sir I want Arithmetick to count ' em Shall I reckon by Julio's or Halfe Crowns Cor. Halfe Crowns A good Market-rate Let me see about eight hundred thousand of ' em That 's all I have a project that every one of these Women shall bear me two Male Children at a birth every year so that about twenty years hence I shall be able to bring every year a fresh Army of Sixteen hundred thousand fighting Men into the Field out of my own Loyns Boy The old Patriarchs were Asses to me poor impotent broken-belly'd Fumblers Triv. But at this rate you must get more Children in a night than Hercules Cor. Hercules Why Hercules never eat French Pottage nor Jelly nor Champignons A poor Carret-eating Rogue I 'll have all the Cordials and Elixirs that Nature treasures up for the industrious payd by the rich My Physitians shall study nothing else but the Art of Procreation I 'll have none but those that can turn all Nerves into Bones and all Meat into Marrow Triv. Right Sir You shall have all the three Concoctions in a minute and the time gain'd from them shall be employ'd to lengthen Generation Enter Visconti with Melinda Visconti in his French Habit stuck with Pistols and a Musquetoon at 's back Parh. Well escap'd Madam I see you 're as good as your word Mel. Oh Madam I am as it were at home under the wings of my Tutor here Visc. And Begar me vil now teche you de finest leson in de vol vorld Mel. No other Lesson Mounsieur but the French Song Sings a ridiculous French Song Cor. What the Devil 's this fellow that Melind has got Visc. Me be de Exant of de Guard to de Princesse vat is dat to you Cor. Ex ang with a pox to 't what 's that Aside Good Mr. Exang be patient Turns his Head always at the word Exang and laughs for fear the other should see him Visc. Do you laughé at me Cor. Pray excuse me Sir 't is new word I had not heard before a fine word but I honor your Person as much as any man living good Mr. Exang Turns his Head and laughs Sfor. We shall have some Blood-shed by and by between these two Heroes Cor. If I might be hang'd I cannot forbear talking to him Hark you Mounsieur Exang Turns his Head and laughs are not you some Dancing-Master or some such kind of fellow pray throw off your fighting Tools a little and teach me a Corante Walking about and singing Visc. Me Dancing-Metre Begar you lye in de troate me corn dat Me Metre Dance Cor. What are
the Street again and as sure as my Grandfather was at Lepanto the company was almost lost yet I had a mind to follow 'em but for all my haste I was resolved to take a dram of the Bottle by the way Card. Honest friend come to the point You know where you found me and what you found me doing who was with me and how I promis'd you to come presently as soon as I had dispatch'd my business with the Canons of S. Mark whom you saw there Cir. Oh Lord Sir what are you mad Sir Scratches his Head Now have you clearly put me out that I cannot remember one word more if I were to be hang'd for 't unless I begin again word for word Int. Alas-a-day his old infirmity 't may spoil his State-course Doge So so this is a made tale 1 Sen. A meer juggle and contrivance between ' em 2 Sen. And the fellow makes himself simple to be the less suspected Cir. Indeed my Lords what I speak is very true but I am a little out in may story and the Lesson I learn'd of my Master Doge So so he confesses the Master and the Schollar 1 Sen. 'T is now as clear as day 4 Sen. A meer study'd Lesson and the fellow could say no farther for he had it only by roat Doge Away with the Mock-Cardinal and his Man clap the Master and Schollar close in Irons till farther order The Tipstaves seize ' em 3 Sen. Disrobe and whip him 4 Sen. No let him be sent in this Habit to Rome and there punish'd 2 Sen. A most impious Act. 4 Sen. Prophane 2 Sen. Abominable Card. Is there no Justice here Then I appeal unto the Holy Chair 1 Sen. We allow no Appeals Away with him All Sen. Away with him away with him Triv. Most Honor'd Fathers I thank you for your Zeal To th' Holy Church but since this is a day Of general jolity I freely here Forgive all the affronts done to my self As Christian Charity Commands and humbly Beg your pardons for the Mock-Cardinal Doge Oh Reverend Sir you are too mortify'd Our Zeal to th' Holy Church cannot pass by So great a scandal Triv. I beg it once again with earnest Prayers And hope you will not envy me that meritorious Act. Doge Well Since your Eminence is pleas'd to be So merciful we have no reason to Be more severe 3 Sen. No not at all 4 Sen. 'T is a day Of publick mirth the Carnival time too 2 Sen. Let him be pardon'd and confess his knavery All Sen. I I I. Trivultio pulls off his Disguise Triv. Great thanks Illustrious Fathers for your Gracious Pardon Doge Is 't possible Cor. Trivultio whough Int. Look you there now I knew 't would end in this But the poor fellow will be hang'd This comes of his capering and Dancing without designe stil. This 't is to have the Bark of a Frenchman but none of the Sap. 1 Sen. This was a Master-piece y'faith Trivultio runs from his Seat and falls upon his knees before the Cardinal 2 Sen. Deserves Reward as well as Pardon Hir. A Cheat a Cheat a new Sentence Triv. Your Pardon Reverend Sir Card. Bless me the wanton wag Trivultio I am beholding to the Impostor however For his good Nature Heaven forgive you Cornanti snatches him away from before the Cardinal and kisses him Cor. Ah my dear Boy have I found thee again Thou haft more wit than the whole Senate Hir. How now Sir Cor. I marry has he Sir for all you if you go to that Doge Will 't please your Eminence to assume your Seat Cardinal goes up to his Seat Hir. The Sentence now is void though the Impostor's pardon'd Card. Pray Sir let 's hear the Case Doge It is in short a Riot 'gainst our Laws Though the intention reach'd no farther than Honourable Marriage and it pleas'd the Senate In mitigation of their punishment To leave 'em to the mercy of the Church This Youth steps in disguis'd Ordains 'em Marriage And though the Fact was bold and illusory Yet the whole Senate has approv'd the Judgement All Sen. I I I. Hir. This 'll not pass My Lord we 're abus'd and cheated And our Daughters ruin'd 3 Sen. No no my Lord 'T is meer malice the Matches are suitable Cor. If you talk more Hircanio your Daughter shan't have him if she would down on her knees to him Card. Shall I please one or all As 't is the States civility to give The Church this Pow'r so 't is his Holiness's Order In all things to comply with this Illustrious House Where Reason or Religion do not suffer I 'll not recede one tittle from the former Sentence Though 't was irregular and monstrous Yet happy in the approbation of This most Judicious Honourable Senate All Sen. Thanks to your Eminence thanks thanks Doge Inroll the Judgement and this day's transactions Int. Shallow proceedings if I would but appear now I could turn the whole business again Hir. Baffled again Well is not this business to be cur'd Aside to Satana Sat. Not possibly Hir. No quick in Law left Try good Satana Sat. 'T is in vain Sir Hir. Come here 's your Fee Sat. By no means Sir 't is not for that Hir. Pray Sir take it Presses him Sat. Not in this place indeed Sir Hir. Well well then I 'll keep it for you Sat. Who would have thought he would have pocketed it again but I shall have it Let me see Hir. How this Fee works Sat. I have found a most material objection Hark you Sir Whisper together Doge What means this Caballing in Court The Senate's ready to Adjourn Hir. Gentlemen I humbly conceive this Sentence is voids For I conceive 1 Sen. This Lawyer has infected him with their Dubious Salvo Hir. The Pope's Ordinary is not a Judge but Minister of the Court and I desire the Records may be search'd to see if there were ever any Precedent of this Nature Int. How 's that 3 Sen. What pow'r soever the Legat has the Judgement has been confirm'd by us Doge Nevertheless let us search the Records for his satisfaction Int. Now shall I be rewarded for this my inquisitive care of the State Doge Clerk make a search 2. Sen. I we cannot deny that One of the Clerks opens the Trunk and takes out Records 1 Clerk Bless me the Parchments move 2 Clerk If ever Book breath'd in this World here 's one Another looking in 1 Sen. What are you mad 1 Clerk A Spirit a Spirit 2 Sen. Some Rat that stirs among the Papers 2 Clerk Oh Heavens a Ghost in humane shape Hir. A miracle a miracle The Law-giver Great Ordelafo come himself in person To vindicate his antient God-like Law Sat. If Earth be silent see just Heaven will speak No less a wonder than a Resurrection A man laid in his Grave six hundred years Now rises up to wake our drowzy Justice Let us prepare t' adore the reverend Ghost And welcome him unto his antient Seat 1
Sen. 'T is strange All the Senators seem afraid and express nothing of contempt but reverence 2. Sen. What may this mean 4 Sen. A general Consternation Doge Strange fright Card. What e're thou art Ghost Devil Angel What e're thy dreadful message is to Earth I' th' name of Heaven arise Intrigo puts up his Head a little and his white Peruke appears Sata See see his glorious Head So rises by degrees great Ordelafo Like the all-piercing Phoebus from his Eastern Couch To give us light in these most dark affairs See how his hoary Hairs grown white in the service of This Common-wealth are perfect yet upon His watchful Temples His Face as black as Mummy Intrigo's Face appears a little Yet firm and solid and seems pensive He 's pond'ring something for the publick good Intrigo starts upright in the Trunk Int. I that I am grave Senators A general laughter And let me tell you under the Rose 't has been my sole employment for some years though I have little thanks for 't and though I am not Ordelaso Yet take my cautions as not less authentick Which are to keep your Laws in violate Doge Still in the right Intrigo Wise vertuous Intrigo Those ills are fatal where no pain 's endur'd The wiser sort of fools are never cur'd Grim. True he has such a politic Lethargy upon him he cannot feel the Pricks and Lancings of ill fortune He has been list'ning here to increase his prudence Notwithstanding his late affronts at Seignior Cornanti's Corn. Was there eversuch a fool as this fellow We natural fools are nothing to him Triv. Why do you thus eclipse so quaint a Beauty To Intrigo That radiant face Exit Corn. Sir I perceive you 're a great Virtuoso Will you teach me the Receit to get Blackamoor Children That a man may know 'em to be his own All hail great Ordelafo To Hircanio If Earth be silent see just Heav'n will speak To Satana Enter Trivultio leading in Circumstantio Triv. Look here 's your Master Circ 'Sfoot I think it be Makes three legs With due submission to your horrible prudence And striking sail to your infernal gravity I am almost out of my little wits To see your worship again 1 Sen. So so here 's the lesson That deceiv'd the Senate Cryer Silence in the Court Doge How came this fellow here Clerk An 't please your Highness I can't imagine unless he clapt the Keys in Clay or brib'd the Lock-smith Doge Was there ever such a curious Coxcomb Clerk of the Presidents how do you find the case 2 Clerk The Ordinary in this case is Judge From whom lies no appeal but to the Pope The Decimo tertio of Gradonico And the Octavo of Andrea Grittio Doge Master Procurator you see your remedy Card. Which will be worse than the disease His Holiness Will trust the Senate and my self in weightier matters Hir. Well I submit However this marriage will take off Trivultio's edge from my Mistress Bellinganna And the old fool Cornanti may do something for him Corn. Oh Sir is your stomach come down Did not I tell you I would make you do 't Well Sir I 'll remember Trivultio in my Will But I don't intend to die these forty years yet Hir. Lawyer this search was not worth a Fee Sat. I 'll take heed of being Meal-mouth'd hereafter 4 Sen. Clapping his hand on his brest gravely In good sadness this was but a foolish trick For such a wise man as Signior Intrigo 1 Sen. Why there 's it every man knows him not These invisible fools are the destruction Of private Families as well as States Nor are they easily to be prevented By wiser men because their follies are Always in disguise 2 Sen. Right This sort of fools walk always with dark Lanthorns and they ought more to be fin'd for wearing Vizors over their follies than others over their faces 3 Sen. I think indeed they ought to be as punishables By Law as men that cover their Wells and Coal-pits With rotten Wood and Bryars not solid Boards That will not keep men from falling in but Decoy 'em to their ruine by security Doge Gentlemen 't is time to adjourn There only rests What punishment upon this grave offender Grim. Troth Gentlemen my opinion is That all extraordinary fools ought to have Pensions instead of Punishments especially those that bring up a new Mode of Folly There is Honor due to Eminence in all things and rewards for new inventions 2 Sen. True if all men were wise there would be none to make sport with Fools serve for honest men to laugh at as well as Knaves to prey upon 3 Sen. If it were not for the amorous Foot in Tragedies and the merry Fool in Comedies what would become of the Players 1 Sen. I more than that if there were no Fools there would be no Wits Every new Fool begets a new Play either as the Subject or the Composer Doge No question but they are as necessary in a Common-wealth as wiser men for variety Nothing so well Mankind's diversion Fits As difference of Sexes and of Wits Exeunt omnes EPILOGUE As it was spoke by Mr. Haines AS Charms are Nonsence Nonsence seems a Charm Which hearers of all Judgment does disarm For Songs and Scenes a double Audience bring And Doggrel takes which Smiths in Sattin sing Now to Machines and a dull Mask you run We find that Wit 's the Monster you would shun And by my troth 't is most discreetly done For since with Vice and Folly Wit is fed Through Mercy 't is most of you are not dead Players turn Puppets now at your desire In their Mouth 's Nonsence in their Tails a Wire They fly through Clouds of Clouts and showers of Fire A kind of loosing Loadum is their Game Where the worst Writer has the greatest Fame To get vile Plays like theirs shall be our care But of such awkard Actors we despair False taught at first Like Bowls ill byass'd still the more they run They 're further off then when they first begun In Comedy their unweigh'd Action mark There 's one is such a dear familiar spark He yawns as if he were but half awake And fribling for free speaking does mistake False accent and neglectful Action too They have both so nigh good yet neither true That both together like an Ape 's mock face By near resembling Man do Man disgrace Through pac'd ill Actors may perhaps be cur'd Half Players like half Wits can't be endur'd Yet these are they who durst expose the Age Of the great Wonder of our English Stage Whom Nature seem'd to form for your delight And bid him speak as she bid Shakespeare write Those Blades indeed are Cripples in their Art Mimmick his Foot but not his speaking part Let them the Traytor or Volpone try Could they Rage like Cethegus or like Cassius die They ne'er had sent to Paris for such Fancies As Monster 's heads and Merry Andrew's Dances Wither'd perhaps not perish'd we appear But they were blighted and ne'er came to bear Th' old Poets dress'd your Mistress Wit before These draw you on with an old Painted Whore And sell like Bawds patch'd Plays for Maids twice o'er Yet they may scorn our House and Actors too Since they have swell'd so high to hector you They cry Pox o' these Covent Garden Men Dam 'em not one of them but keeps out Ten. Were they once gone we for those thundering Blades Should have an Audience of substantial Trades Who love our muzzled Boys and tearing Fellows My Lord great Neptune and great Nephew Eolus Oh how the merry Citizen's in love With Psyche the Goddess of each Field and Grove He cryes i' faith methinks 't is well enough But you roar out and cry 'T is all damn'd stuff So to their House the graver Fops repair While Men of Wit find one another here FINIS
's a penitential Note for you Throws down a Paper and retires Triv. Blest Vision stay a little She 's gone but that 's her Body here 's her Soul Takes up the Letter and opens it My Husband fears no Devils but your White ones therefore for the security of his Person he has just now sent out his servant Jacomo to buy a Negro Slave put your self into that Colour and Habit and find means to be sold to him and you shall be assu'rd of a kind Reception Ha! a Negro Lover for ought I know to abude mr I 'll not leave my self wholy to your discretion Madam for all my great Passion I 'll find a cleanlier way than that sure Let me see I 'll send for the old Gossip that appear'd at the Window and corrupt her there 's none of 'em proof against ten Checquins and Sforza has supply'd me with Money enough How Sanctify'dly shall I look in along Veil and a Chin-cloth Boy Oh Sir I know a Chare-woman that haunts the House everyday Triv. Send her away presently and let her promise the Duegna ten Checquins to come to my Lodging In the mean time will I go see what divertisement the Church affords where I shall meet all the good company I love to shoot at a whole Covey at once ten to one but some drop Trivultio puts his Note towards his pocket and drops it and Exit with his Boy Intrigo comes and takes it up and reads it to himself Int. What a Jewel is here neglected by this idle young fellow no wiser than AEsop's Cock Oh the giddiness of these Kickshaw-Gallants 't is a high point of Wisdom to take occasion by the forelock take heed of her bald Pate as long as you live I must not let this slip however Exit The SCENE A Church full of Ladies Enter Parhelia Aurana and Melinda walking Mel. Your Courting the Count in a Masque is the whole Town-talk Aur. And everybody's guessing who you are Parh. And no body right I hope Aur. I 'm sure we suffer for 't and could hardly get leave to come to Church to day Parh. Alas poor prisoners I 'm in perfect freedom Aur. But do you hear how Cornanti guards my poor Cousin Bellinganna Parh. I hear from her hourly But hark you Melinda shall I ask you a hard question will you lend me your Gallant for an hour or two for a design I have Mel. Content Madam Parh. I am inform'd Count Sforza will be here presently In this new Habit 't is impossible to know me I 'll pretend to be another Woman and try his constancy Mel What a pretty device will that be Parh. I 'll leave you that he may not guess me by my company Puts on her Masque and slips into the croud Enter Visconti comes up to Melinda Visc. Madam well met Must I owe this to Fortune or Design Mel. Oh Sir Devotion brings unthought of Blessings But happinesses here on Earth are short We have spies upon us As their Devotions end so must our Conference Visc. Ah my dear Saint these fleeting Heav'nly Visions Serve but t' increase our pains by their privation A broken Interview Is worse than absence which may quench desire This serves to blow up not enjoy the Fire Raising a Passion leaves us to its fury There 's no such torment as too short a joy Enter Trivultio and comes up to Aurana Mel. The sweetest Meats are the most apt to cloy But I have found out an expedient My Father has been inquiring out a French Master for me Disguise yourself presently like one and come and offer your service to him 't will take my life for 't When you have got free admission to our House The Princess Parhelia desires your assistance In some of her affairs Visc. I 'll about it strait Aur. Such swarms of Beauty fill this Carnival That you must needs be stung that are so ventrous I am too happy that I hear no more Your frolicks nor your flatteries at my Window Triv. I hate to see our Mistresses at Grates Look like coop'd Chickens piping for their Meat Or like poor Prisoners begging for an Alms. And Lovers in the Streets like helpless friends Who may uncharitably entertain 'em With a discourse of their miseries But must not lend a farthing to their Purse Aur. 'T is Men that are the Canting Mimic Beggars Whose Art not Misery attracts relief I 've said too much Trivultio were observ'd Turns away Triv. Whither so fast Aur. I cannot chuse but love this young fellow for all his indifference I love a Man that knows how to value his own Sex and cheapen slight-wrought Woman Triv. Here are Riches but Marriage attends it a Golden Trap. My free-born Genius moves for Bellinganna Lying with another Man's Wife is like invading an Enemies Countrey there 's both-Love and Ambition in 't 't is an enterprize fit for a great Spirit Enter Visconti and Sforza who-comes up to Trivultio Sfor. Heigh ho What a Stream's here I wonder much what makes these Females so devout Is it their Fear or their Credulity Triv. Oh no. Two other Graces Pride and Lechery I wonder more that Men who searce allow them Souls Will give 'em leave to crowd into our Churches Where they have as ill an efflect as fine strangers In Grammar-Schools for though the Boys keep on Their hum-drum still yet none of 'em mind Their Lesson for looking about ' em Visc. Oh Sir this is the great Market of Matrimony Here 't is begun made up aud broken too Triv. Matrimony for Heaven's sake name it not I do not love to hear the sound of Fetters Sfor. Oh pray let 's humour him a little I think indeed the strictness of it was but a kind of juggle betwixt the Women and the Fryars Triv. True Such a devilish thing could never have been found out else 'T was worse than the invention of Gunpowder and 't has alter'd the course of Love more than the other has done of War Visc. Imparity of Minds is worse than Bodies And which two are of the same mind for ever Triv. I or at any time If People love well there needs no Marriage to confine 'em if not 't is cruelty to couple two churlish disagreeing Curs and sin not to unloose ' em I would not use my Dogs so True Men are chain'd in Gallies Horses bridled and Oxen yoak'd to work For slavish Offices and things ungrateful Constraint is necessary but for the Sweets of Love To have a Task impos'd t' have Men like hir'd Town Bulls Made amorous by force and beating to ' t Do Men chain up themselves at Dinner to their Tables Or do they Hunt or Bowl or Dance in Shackles If Marriage is a sport confinement makes it les If 't is a work are drudgeries the better for being endless Parhelia Masqu'd comes up to Sforza Parh. Sir if you please to withdraw into this private Chappel I shall acquaint you with a thing that may concern you
Ah my dear Saint then the debate is ended No no she shall not I can free my self He that dares dye can never be a Slave But cheats a Tyrant of his sweet revenge Yet there is hope still she may send some Men To force the way in I can second ' em But though I were alone shall I be forc'd to do What Honor chides me for Great God's 't shall never be I should not fancy to be forc'd to Heav'n At least by any Earthly Power Enter two Ghosts of Bassa's with their Turbants and Winding sheets and a great many other Turkish Ghosts attending them Thunder and Lightning and the place darkened like Hell Sforza starts then recollects himself No nor Infernal They stalk dismally about him with their Scymeters drawn brandishing at him Sforza looks for his sword and finds none And must I be their naked Prey Caesar unarm'd veil'd with his Robe his Face And was asham'd but not afraid to dye So let me perish but sure I know these Ghosts Turks all and their brave Leader Achmet Ibrahim too both slain with my own hand No mercy now sure Ach. Prepare prepare To turn thy self to Air. Sings to a dismal Tune An injur'd Turk made fiercer by the shades Thy life invades Ibra Stay Achmet stay For I will share the Prey The Bloud of Man 's too sweet As thow drankst mine I 'll quaff off thine Chorus of other Turks Heroick Dust Be not Vnjust Each Mussleman that his vile hands have stain A piece obtain Altogether By Pluto sent we draw Terrestrial breath And offer thee too fair or Love or Death Sfor. Is this your business after Death great Souls I thought you had been rowling among heaps Of naked Beauties with Eternal vigor Then know fierce Ghosts Devils improv'd to Turks If your own Hell were open I 'de sooner leap in 't Than do a crime that should deserve it The Ghosts walk off leisurely as they came in with Thunder and Lightning Sforza walks about a little The Doge's Daughter turn'd a Sorceress A brighter Angel yet than any fell With Lucifer's illustrious train of Rebels Oh that the virtuous Prince could hear of this But I must never live to make relations All power 's continu'd by the same ways 't was got Then doubt not Death or Marriage Pauses Death 't is the least of evils or a good Because it ends 'em courted by Boys For loss of Pins and Counters and by Females For lesser toys master'd by every passion Love Revenge and Grief Shall it obey The Slaves of Reason then and not their Master Death 's the dark entry to more pleasant Mansions The opening of the Scene to show us things more glorious The first flight of the mew'd and hooded Soul It is the starting place and not the Goal What is 't we live for tell life's finest tale To eat to drink to sleep to fill and empty Love and enjoy t' enjoy and love no more To talk of things we know not and to know Nothing but things not worth the talking of Insipid Acts by repetition nauseous Who would not dye for curiosity A Female sickly childish puking Vice Faith Fortitude Affliction cease your Trumpets For Nature's errors fright such Enemies My Soul is but in Lodgings for a Term Nature her Landlady may turn her out True were the House my own I would take care T'imbellish it and keep it in repair Make it impregnable 'gainst Force and Time To Dye were Folly and to Fight a Crime But since Death's unavoided Arrow flies From Foes Diseases and from Women's Eyes Let 's nobly court our Fate sweet'ning the Race With the full Gallop not the fearful Pace Enter Parhelia gloriously drest She comes towards him Parh. What can you love or dye Sir Sfor. Both Madam Love They say's our only business after death Parh. And 't is the great and noblest cause of life Cannot the greatest fortune in the State perswade you To quit your passion for a killing Mask Pray go to th' Tire-Shops you may chance to find A better featur'd one Sfor. You 're very pleasant Madam If Love want Rhetorick how shall Fear perswade Parh. 'T was Fear that mov'd your choice to such an object That would provoke no Rivals No Sir you need not doubt that we will force you 'T was but to try how wise a man you 'd prove How fit to make a Soveraign in Venice You may have liberty to court your Vizor Yet know you 're in my Net still Guards let him pass Sfor. That grant of liberty sweetens all your sharpness Guards let him out at one door Exit Parhelia at the other The SCENE General Moccenigo's Wilderness by the Walk of Statues Cornanti and his Wife with six or seven Bravoess Arm'd following him Bell. This is the place I appointed to meet Trivultio at Lay your Men in ambush hereabouts and stand you behind this Arbor and when you discover the wickedness of his intentions call out the Bravo's to pistol him Cor. But you must appear to be very forward and kind to make him the bolder that I may have the juster cause to kill him Bell. Very well thought of but take notice I 'll make you some sport before which you must not be angry at Cor. No unlawful sport I hope Bell. Fy fy Sir I mean with another business Cornanti gets behind the Arbor and his Bravo's under the Hedges Enter Hircanio Hir. This is the Walk in the middle of the Wilderness I was to meet her at And there she is Oh the blessed Image Madam For the redemption of my Captive-Heart Or its good usage in its slavery Be pleas'd to accept this knot of Diamonds Too small an off'ring to so fair a Shrine Bell. A very fair Jewel Taking and looking on it Enter Hircanio's Wife Wife I had notice from a friend that my Husband was to meet a Lady here I here 's the Rogue presenting her with something Hir. Death here 's my Wife Sees her and begins to steal away Wife Ah you old Goat you have I caught you Did I ever deny you at home you false Man Oh thou impudent perverter of Mankind Turns to Bell. Hast thou the conscience to defraud an Honest Woman of the dues that her portion paid for Follows her Husband off stolding When they are gone off out comes Cornanti Cor. Brave Wench y'faith Ha ha he Didst not thou send for his Wife Bell. I I Sir take the Jewel and to your place again He retires Enter Trivultio in his own Habit. Bell. coming up to Trivul Dear Sir I 'm sorry my pretended coyness Has so long exercis'd your patience Triv. Oh Madam such high blessings deserve some expectation Bell. But Sir I shall no longer torture your desires Triv. Faith Madam Lovers are hard labourers 'T is pity to keep back their wages Bell. Dear Trivultio I am wholly thine She runs to him and embraces him Triv. How can that be when the illustrious Senator Starting Your Husband may plead an
you then a Fencing-Master will you teach me the Stocade the Sa Sa Visc. Morbleu de affront to de Noblesse Me no Metre-Dance Metre-Fence no Artizan no Burgeois no Fout-man Me be Gentil homme You be de Son of de Whore and de Beech and de Kishen Wench to say so me marry dis Lady de grand kalité Me vil have satisfacseeon Triv. ' Slife what have you done The Frenchmen are all Gentlemen abroad unless their Cloaths disprove ' em The Ladies never question it We shall have a Challenge presently will you please to accept of me for a Second Cor. No no I hope no need of that Trembling Visc. Me Bourgeois Me Roturier Me Metre Dance Walking angrily Cor. I did not care neither but that I strain'd my Arm t'other day fighting with the Watch I can hardly stretch it out And you know the chief Thrust lies in the Allongee I hate to kill a man by halves A Dance in the middle of which Enter Parson Bell. Come come we lose time are you ready to be married To the work presently Mr. Parson The three Couples joyn hands Sforza and Parhelia Visconti and Melinda Trivultio and Aurana A great noise without stand off stand off Traytors Traytors Clashing of Swords the Women squeak Parh. Oh Lord we are undone who would have thought of any bodies coming here at this time Aur. Heaven defend us Visc. Que Diable est sa Triv. Have a good Heart man 't is nothing Cornanti trembles Cor. Sayst thou so Boy Some frolick I warrant you Some of the Vizarded Men are upon the Stage others come running in Enter the Doge and the Procurators the Yeomen of the Guard going before Doge Seize on the Conspirators Yeomem Deliver deliver They seize ' em Doge If I had not come hither by accident contrary to my custom what a scandal had I layn under Bless me my Daughter Parh. I humbly beg your Highness pardon 't was but harmless mirth Doge With Arm'd Men in Vizards and in my Palace too To wound my Servants and oppose my Entrance I grieve at the dishonor of my spotless Race Hir. Just Heaven my Daughter with her hair-brain'd Gallant so soon again Oh the wandring Whore Grim. And mine too with her sharking Frenchman You Pow'rs above why am I not struck blind Degenerate Strumpet couldst thou find none to make Thy Paramour but this poor Mushroom Visc. Begar me corn your word me no Mushroom no Stool-toad Grim. If you be his Wife you shall soon be Widow I 'll have our French Cock roasted alive with his Gizards and Sausages about him there Mel. Oh Lord Doge I 'm sorry Sir to find you here after so late an Honor given by the Senate Sfor. Sir you will find Ingratitude a stranger to my thoughts Doge A Parson too The Trumpet of Rebellion But what ranting modish Gentleman 's that Sfor. 'T is old Signior Cornanti in disguise Cor. No 't is false Sir 't is young Signior Cornanti Hir. How have I been abus'd then Doge The Metamorphosis Cor. What you 're but in jest Cousin ' will you never ha done you 'll fright the poor Wenches out of their little wits Grim. 'T will prove a sad jest good Mounsieur Cor. Come come what a pox this'll not pass Ha ha he Do you think to make a fool of me too How you leer now Do you think if there had been any Treason in 't I as a Senator would not have discover'd it Have not I as great a love for the Commonwealth as your self Sir Hark you Sir have you found out a Buona-roba for me yet To Hircanio Doge This Gentleman 's strangely alter'd from a penurious Melancholly to an exorbitant gayety Sure he counterfeits Hir. No doubt on 't Sir I know this poor fellow's folly but let him be hang'd however that he may tell no tales Aside Cor. Trivultio dost thou see how finely they act their Parts as if it were a Stage-Play Doge I cannot guess what this design may be These two are Subjects of the King of Spain Hir. The Case is plain these strangers have design'd To whore our Daughter cut our Throats and put A Spanish Yoak upon this free-born State I hear there 's an Army ready marching from Milan 'T is no time to think Sir Now with this lye will I come even with my Daughter's Ravisher and my happy Rival though she hang for 't too no matter Aside Sfor. Great Gods assert our innocence Doge Gentlemen this is no time time to defend your selves The danger urges I must speedily Provide for the safety of the Republick Visconti slips away Guards look to the Prisoners and keep 'em all in several Rooms with a Guard to each that there may be no contriving or packing of sett Tales And you Tipstaves let the Council of Forty be Assembled immediately and let the Pope's Legate Cardinal Colonna though he arriv'd here but last night and has not yet appear'd in publick be desir'd to attend the Senate in case of Ecclesiastical Censure upon the lesser Offendors of this numerous Riot That our neglect Posterity condemn not Nor the least Wheel in this rare Frame be shaken Though to the ruine of our private Houses Exit Hir. Look especially to this wild Traytor Trivultio 1 Gua. I 'll warrant you Sir Exit with Triv. 2 Gua. What 's become of the Frenchman 3 Gua. I believe he 's run away 2 Gua. That 's like ' em Exit Cor. What a pox means this Hark you Ladies if they should be in sober sadness after all 't would vex one Parh. 'T is too true Cousin Cor. Pox o'these grave fellows there 's more malice in one of 'em than in twenty of us young merry scabs 3 Gua. Come away Sir do you rail at his Highness Cor. What I warrant you you 're in good earnest are you you 'll be hang'd as soon 3 Gua. I 'll try that Takes him Cor. Nay prithee good Beef-eater stay a little prythee prythee 3 Gua. Come aloft Sir The great fellow tucks him under his arm and goes out with his heels foremost Cor. Do you know who I am A Senator a Senator a Senator Kicks and strugles Exeunt Guarded The SCENE A Street Enter Tipstaff and Circumstantio What a coil 's here about this Master of thine I tell thee he 's not here Cir. Why there can be no affairs of State transacted without him Tipst. Honest Circumstantio I see thou hast little to do and I have a great deal of business prythee take my Tipstaff and summon the Cardinal Cir. Oh I know the House that was taken for him in the Strada della Chiesa I 'll do 't for you Takes the Tipstaff Exit Enter a Watchman with many of the Rabble about him Visconti passes by hastily in his French Habit the Watchman comes up to him Watch. Stand Whither so fast Are not you one of the Conspirators Visc. Me be povré Estranger 1 Man A Frenchman a Frenchman 2 Man A French Dog all the
Plots come from thence 3 Man Knock him down 4 Man Brain him This is he that set my House o' fire 'T could be no body but a Frenchman 6 Man This is he that got my Daughter with Child That was a French trick too Watch. Keep the Peace neighbors and let us bring him before the Senate He was in as much haste as if he had been coming from Candia or Gygery All. I I away with him away with him A Plot a Plot the French the French 1 Man They 'll burn the City 2 Man They 'll worry our Wives and Children 3 Man They 'll let in the Sea and drown us 5 Man T was they that brought the Plague into Venice 7 Man I and the Pox too formerly Watch. What 's your name Visc. Me he Metre de Language to Signior Grimani Me be no Frenchman me be Italieen 1 Man No matter you shall be hang'd for looking like one 2 Man I for clipping the true Language 3 Man You shall be hang'd Al-a-mode de France Watch. Come come away All. Away with him away with him Boys follow him crying A Mounsire A Mounser A Munchir A Mister Mownseer Exeunt all in a hurry haling him away The SCENE A Prison with a Bed in 't Trivultio in his Night-Gown and Cap. A Table with bottles of Wine and Glasses upon it A Soldier to guard him Triv. Come honest Guard take thy Glass in thy hand Gives him one Guard God bless your Worship Triv. Now let us sing the Catch I show'd thee SONG HOw happy 's our Fate To live thus in State With our Guards at our Gate None can have access But must Court and Address And their business confess Then take off thy Glass on thy dutiful Knee Guard kneels and drinks For Princes are Pris'ners as well as we Triv. Now fill my Glass faith if we must dye let 's dye merrily however Guard I have heard 'em say Sir that Drinking 's the cure of all Diseases Triv. No thou' rt mistaken It sweetens sorrow but removes it hot Unless the mind be made Serene before With sublime preparations then 't is the highest Leachery to dye and next to that to be in prison Guard Troth Master methinks you make very light on 't If I were sure there were good Drink i' th' other World I did not care if I were dead too Triv. Why dost thou doubt it man They say every thing is more plentiful there than here and all Men are alike and no poor Guard Oh Lord Master how can you tell Triv. Why there are several that have staid in the other World a little time as some that have been in long Swoons Apoplexies and praeternatural Sleeps others that have been halfe-hang'd cut down again and recover'd The other world they say is just such another place as the Countreys of America Brazile Mexico and Peru there are few that venture to go there but such as can live here no longer but when they come thither they find every thing so good there that they never think of coming back again Guard Oh Lord what would I give to speak with one of those Men that have been in the other World Triv. This fellow 's deadly simple and drunk to boot Aside Why thou shalt speak with one presently I 'm a dying man thou know'st and if I were hang'd out-right now 't were but some hours sooner and a toy takes me i' th' head to have thee put my Garter about my neck and half hang me that I may see what the other World is we 're going to but be sure you leave pulling when I make signs to give o're Guard Oh that would be fine and pleasant indeed if I did not hurt you But Master if I should hang you in good earnest I should be hang'd for you Triv. Oh never fear that Here take my Garter make a running knot and on with it Guard puts it on Now according to the laudable custom of Malefactors will I give this wicked World a short exhortation Guard Oh pray Master do Triv. Good People I am come hither to be a spectacle to Men and Angels Criticks and Devils I am to pay a debt to Nature which she has made over to a greedy Huswife call'd Fortune who calls for it in before the day of payment But Death is Honorable Advantageous and Necessary Honourable in old Men to make room for younger Advantageous to those that get Legacies by it and Necessary for Married people that have no other Jayl-delivery I am most justly brought hither to suffer this ignominious death and as my Legacy do beqneath you an useful caution concerning that horrid and crying sin that has brought me to this most Tragical end My Godly Parents brought me up most virtuously in hopes to have sold me to a Wife to the greater advantage but at fifteen years of age the Devil the Devil grew powerful in me and tempted me to a sin Nature would never have thought of good people I tremble to name it Speaks softly and quivering getting my Mother's Maid with Child Ah Bettina Bettina thou taughtst me a trick I could never leave since Thy Sweet-meats and thy Sugar-plums have brought me to the Gallows Hangman I freely forgive thee and more freely than ever any dying man did Do thy Office Guard Oh Gemini what a brave Speech will he make when he comes to 't in good earnest Triv Pull down my Night-Cap that I may not fright thee and that I may see more inwardly into the other world Pulls down his Cap and pulls the Garter Guard What do you see now Master Triv. Nothing yet but a Myst. Pull harder Triv. puts his fingers between his Throat and the Garter Now pull o' God's name Guard pulls a little then asks Guard What do you see now Master The Rope's very close pray God he recover Triv. I see Rocks and Mountains and He counterfeits a ratling in his Throat craggy places and Men crawling upon 'em like Snails or Maggots Now I am come into a fair Plain all set with Orange-Trees Jessamin and Rose-Trees the most delicious place that in my life I ever saw But oh oh oh now I see Guard What Master what he speaks mighty plain to be three quarters hang'd but 't is a lightning before death Triv. Oh the blessed sight At the end of this Plain I see a great huge pair of blew Stairs as broad as all the whole World made all of Turky Stones and Lapis Lazuli's and they are stuck as thick with Checquins as ever they can hold with many broad Portagu'us and English Jacobus's amongst 'em and there is one piece of huge bright Gold as broad as from hence to Padua and another paler piece as broad as from hence to Malamocco Guard Now o' my conscience these same blew Stairs are the Skies and the Stars it seems are nothing but Checquins and the Planets Portugu'us and Cobus's and the Sun and Moon are those same great gallant pieces Pray