to God and oh how Glorious an Hope is that to pertake of his Image and live Eternally with him and yet be sollicitous anxious and disquieted about Honor and money and a Tempora Interest and mightily concerned about the momentany gratifications of the Flesh and the Injoyments of this World Art thou a Pilgrim and Stranger here and travelling home to the Heavenly Country and yet Eager and passionate about Earthly Things Should an Heart that is set upon Heaven or may be so and ought to be so should it burn with such kitchin such common Fire and neglect the unconceivable Riches and Pleasures and Immortal Honors of the other Life and the dawnings of that Glory upon my soul by the foretasts of it in this Should I not live as seeking such things as expecting such a Glory And are careless and indifferent thoughts sleepy heartless prayers faint and weak indeavors becoming in such a case Shall I not mend my pace and double my diligence in my preparatory work When I can believingly foresee the Blessed Recompence Wayting for that Everlasting Light of the Sun of Righteousnes which no Ecclipse shall ever darken or obscure for that Eternal Glorious Day which shall never be closed with an Evening When I shall see the face of God in Christ and be like him participate more of his image rest in his love and dwell for ever in the light of his Countenance according to the Prayer and Promise of my Blessed Saviour And ought not such a prospect to sweeten the Bitterness of all our intermediate sufferings we are now oftentimes in heaviness and sorrow but Eternity will be enough for an interrupted Joy. When we shall exchange all our troubles for Everlasting Rest our prisons for perfect liberty our Poverty for the Riches of God darkness for Light discord for love deformity for beauty our weaknesses and present languishings for strength and vigor folly for wisdom disgrace for Glory sickness and paine for Eternal Ease and Health the Animal for the Angelical Life imperfection and pollution for consummate Holiness our Sighs and Tears and Sorrows and complaints for triumphant Everlasting Praise our losses affronts disapointments perplexities fears groans and Death for crowns and scepters hymns and Hallelujahs light and life and Bliss unutterable and such great things as are fit for us to hope but too Great to be now particularly understood and talk't of while we know but in part and see thro a glass darkly yea it seems as if it were not lawfull to utter'em 2 Cor. 12.4 and now they can not be exprest or fully known for Eye hath not seen or ear heard or can it enter into the Heart of man to conceive that prepared Glory XXI A devout Meditation upon the 73 Psalm 27. Whom have I in Heaven but thee and there is none upon Earth that I desire besides thee WHat is there in Heaven or in Earth o Lord but Thy Presence to be valued loved desired chosen sought or delighted in there is nothing in either world desireable without Thee nothing certainly above Thee nothing in Comparison with Thee In Thee alone I trust On Thee I depend In Thee I repose my confidence and hope From thee I expect all my felicity and Salvation What ever I can lose yet with the continuance of thy Favor which is my Life I have still Enough With that I am Rich and without it I am poor and miserable And if I want the Love of God all that Heaven and Earth can give besides will not make my Happy In Thee therefore I would terminate all my affections all my devotions There is nothing of Heaven to be had on Earth but in thy favor image and love and the reviving Sense of it And all the Heaven I expect hereafter 't is in the more full and immediate communications of these in thy blessed Presence I can desire nothing upon Earth I can injoy nothing in Heaven but Thee both here and there thou art and shalt ever be my all sufficient satisfactory Portion my Everlasting All None els can be the Portion of my soul Nothing els can fill up all its wants answer all its cravings be suited to all its capacities appease and charm all its restless motions and give complacence to all its Desires and be the proper object of all its Affections What is there els can justly claime my Love or pretend to my supreme Affection in comparison with God Thou art alone the proper center of it Thine infinite and incomparable Excellencies who art Love it self deserve my choicest Love and thy numberless mercies and Benefits challenge it as a just debt as a peice of Homage due from All and of special Gratitude also from me Oh that I could love thee above all Things who alone art worthy of all my Love O that Divine Love might be the ruling Principle within me to inspire all my Thoughts to regulate all my desires to set all the Powers of my soul on work O that it might take the full possession of my Heart and so animate and order all my Actions to please him whom my Soul Loveth If as yet I cannot say with thine Apostle Lord thou that knowest all things thou knowest that I love thee Yet I can say Lord thou knowest that I would love thee Thou hast provided for our Happiness by that first and great command of loving thee with all our hearts and souls and strength But alas how backward is my sluggish carnal Heart to this delightfull exercise tho I have so oft been told that God is Love and that he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and God in him O shed abroad thy love into my Soul that I may feel the vital power and influence of it and live continually in the love of God and that nothing may ever be able to separate me from it Whom have I in Heaven or Earth to Hope in but Thee I expect more from Creatures then they can or will perform but God can do for me more abundantly then I can ask or think exceed my largest thoughts outstrip my highest expectations And no man was ever disapointed who made Thee his Hope When I meet with crosses and wrongs unfaithfulness contempt hatred and persecution from men I need not wonder I was never told by God it would be otherwise here Did I look for less from Creatures and expect more from God did I reckon this World to be a state of Trial and not a place of Rest and Satisfaction my Faith and my desires would be stronger with respect to God and Heaven and temporal Calamities and disapointments less afflictive and vexatious And what is there o Lord in Heaven or in Earth my soul can desire besides Thee is there any thing desireable but as it is thine of thee and from thee and bears some impression of thine Excellence or brings some intimation of thy Love and what can I reasonably desire what that is worth desiring or having but thou
the glass of Time and yet how little care is taken to imploy it well We seldom value it till we can no longer use it to any advantage and tho we know it can neither be retarded in its motion or recalled when past yet of nothing are we more Prodigal Yea how many complaine of it as a Burden and know not what to do with their Time are excedingly at a losse wherein to imploy it what to doe to be rid of it But alas how near is that change when they shall think nothing too dear to purchase some few grains of that sand which now seem too many while they are passing thro their Hourglass Did we consider it as we ought we should not foolishly throw away so much of it in trifles and things Impertinent or what is worse How much more might we redeem then commonly we doe to how much better purpose might we husband it how much more work might we doe were we never Idle or did not loyter we might walk far did we not often stand still or goe out of our way We see it plainly by the great and excellent effects of some few mens Industry in every Age. Art hath found means to set spies and watches as it were on the Sun that He cannot look out but they take hold of his shadow and force it to tell how far he is gone that day and yet while we are curious in making time give a just account of it self to us how little do we consider the account of our Time which we must shortly give to God. Oh that such a thought might effectually persuade me to redeem it that I may not tarry till the end of Time to know the worth of it Let me not undervalue it while 't is given me to be used that I may not eternally regret my folly when Time shall be no more VII Of the Ordinances of Heaven Day and Night Summer and Winter Seed Time and Harvest their order and succession establisht by God is the effect of Infinite Wisdom and Goodness What they may teach us WHen I consider the Beginning of another year I can hardly avoid reflecting on its several parts summer and winter spring and fall and day and night and their alternate Turns This calls me to observe and admire his Eternal power and Godhead Wisdom and Truth who is the Great Author of this admirable variety Who hath fixed the Earth with his Foot and hanged it on nothing and setled the Luminaries of Heaven for Excellent Ends The Sun to rule by day and the Moon by night therby to distinguish Times and Seasons to separate Day and Night Winter and Summer and consult the convenience and coin ful of Man and Beast by their doe succession The Day is thine the Night also is thine thou makest Summer and Winter How wonderfull is their order Beauty and constant cours that when the sun withdraws and the shadows of the Evening cover the Earth with darkness to conclude the Day the Moon and Stars supply the place of the absent Sun during the Night and that tho they differ in length yet gradually lessen till they are both equall at the years end and have made the same circuit How excellent a work of God is that quick succession to one another The supposition of a perpetual night is a dismal gloomy thought O what will the Everlasting Darkness of the Infernal prison be The Sun by day inlightens the Earth directs our motion guides our way governs our Travail assists conversation awakens Industry warms the Earth and Air gives life and vigor and fruitfulness to all things under the Sun and makes the whole Inferior Creation to rejoice An Emblem of God's universal Goodness who is kind to all his creatures How admirable is its Lustre how glorious is its Light how loudly doth it proclaim his power and wisdom who made this and the other Lights of Heaven by his powerful word and preserns them hitherto by his daily Providence If God be now so glorious contemplated in his works considered in the lustre of the created sun viewed only thro the windows of sâ—ns how much more glorious will he appear hereafter when we shall see him face to face and nothing interpose betwixt us and his incomparable Light If mine Eyes darle to look upon the meridian Sun in what inaccessible Light must he dwell who is the Father of Lights If this lower world the common receptacle of his Friends and Enemies have so much of his Glory vouchsafed them by the Heavenly Bodies O what a place will Heaven be where shall be no Sun or Moon nor need of any but the Glory of God shall lighten it and the Lamb be the Light therof While I thus consider the Sun and the Day I must not think the Night is use less which discovers another part of the Heavens not discernible by Day viz the Stars and Planets refreshing the Earth cooling the air giving necessary rest to the Creatures c. their order motions aspects oppositions influences are all usefull and Instructive The agreable mixture of Light and Darkness the regular succession of Day and Night within a few hours are exceeding wonderfull and advantagious In other parts of the world where the Sun beams are more direct and it s he at excessive God hath made amends by the length of the night under the Equinoctial line it is allways 12 hours and in the more northern parts where the Influence of the Sun is weaker the days are proportionably longer So good is God to all his Creatures in all parts of the world As the morning and evening answer to the day of 24 hours so doth Spring and Autumn to the 12 moneths of the year that we may not pass immediately from one extreme to another but gradually be disposed for so great a change as is between summer and winter between winter and summer So mercifull and gracious and infinitely wise is God in all his works so that we cannot say one part of the year is more necessary then another The winter is as usefull for the good of the universe as the summer in this we are supplied with what is necessary to maintaine us in that and the admirable situation of the Sun most probably in the center of the world seems much to contribute to it If it had been at a farther distance from us our earth would have been in a manner desolate because the influence of the sun could not have been considerable and if it had been nearer the stars above would have wanted Light and this Earth in under been burnt up The Excellent order which it hath now obeyed for above six thousand years is also wonderfull The sun never stood still but once and that by a miracle tho much inferior to that of its daily Progress What a subject is here to admire the Power goodness Wisdom and Faithfulness of God Lord what is man for whom then dost all this and because I
and yet how few do take the warning carefully to prevent the like unhappiness O Lord preserve those strong Convictions those serious thoughts those holy Resolutions those lively apprehensions of the Life to come of the Evill of sin and the Terrors of thy wrath which the Sight of dying persons hath at any time awakened in my soul O the Eloquence of a dying sinner to persuade to Repentance even when he hath lost his speech and lays gasping and trembling on a bed of sickness breathing out his last faint breath and passing into the other world to answer for the crimes and follies of a wicked Life Lord revive thes thoughts upon my soul and let me feel the power and influence of them in the hour of Temptation and in every time of need And let the consideration of the death of Believers the Blessedness they are thereby entred into and the Holiness they are to posses'd of quicken my desires and diligence to prepare to follow When I think where they are and what they are doing what is their work and what their state what their continual imployment and what their Injoyments and how different from ours I cannot but wish to be with them to be as they are and do as they do to know and love and praise God as they They are not hindred by such a clog as this body is to us or tempted by their senses appetite and fancy to sin against him they complaine not of a seducing flesh unruly passions low and disordered thoughts of Temporal afflictions spiritual desertions the snares of the world and the malice and subtility of the Devil we who are Pilgrims and Travellers are exposed to these difficulties and storms which they are freed from They are now rejoycing in the light of God's countenance and shall never question his love more while we are in Tears and sorrows groaning to be delivered But think o my soul that they were lately such as we are now They were members of the militant Church before they entred into joy and Triumph They had their conflicts and difficulties their hour of Temptation and time of trial as we have ours They were slandered and persecuted and sadned and disapointed as their Followers are They went to Heaven the same way and got the victory after the same manner by Repentance and Faith and humble persevering Obedience They were once imperfect as we are now and complained of the Body of Sin and Death and struglings of unmortified lust as we doe and were sometimes in the dark about their intrest in the promise and walkt heavily by the hiding of God's face and indured Temptation even as we And as we have nothing to doe or suffer but what they met with we have the same encouragement that administred to their support the same God and Saviour the same way and rule the same assistance by the aids of his H. Spirit offred us the same promises and the same rewards proposed which they injoyed first in faith and hope and afterwards in fruition Yea they pass'd thro the dark valley and so must we their Earthly Tabernacle was dissolved and so must ours be We must expect to goe the same way to Rest and Glory and wait God's Time for our admission We must finish first the work which God hath for us to doe and suffer and then all Tears shall be wipt from our eyes we shall grieve no more we shall sin no more but be as the Angels in Heaven or as the Spirits of the Just made Perfect XIII What Influence the consideration of Eternity would have upon our Hearts and Lives if soundly believed and considered Especially if the supposition of Dying this year be annexed to it WIth what Humility mortification and self denial what seriousness watchfulness and resolved constancy would every Christian live on Earth did he act allways under the influence and power of a confirmed Faith concerning the Life to come We should not then grudge at a little labor or boggle at a few difficulties in our way What tho I meet with injuries and affronts hardships and inconveniencies being now in a forreign country and every day I live one days journey nearer my Eternal Home Shall I not patiently bear momentany sorrows while I believe I am hastening to Eternal Joys Did I look more to the Everlasting World should I not make the pleasing of God in order to my Eternal welfare the great Business of my Life Should I not serve the Lord with more fervency of Spirit and be better fortified against the Fears of man who can but hurt and kill the Body nor that neither without the permission of God Should I not order all my affaires answer all Temptations mortifie in ward Lusts live in the Exercize of Grace and in circumspect persevering Obedience in order to it Should I not watch more over my Heart and Lips and Ways be more diligent to trim my Lamps more dead to this world more carefull to call my self frequently to an account to renew my Repentance Would not my converse be more usefull and edifying my discourses more savory and full of Religion my Prayers to God more humble and earnest my charity to men more unfeigned and extensive and my preparations every way more suitable to such a Faith and to such apprehensions of an Everlasting State Could we carry the thoughts of Eternity about with us every day and often admit them in our civil and secular affaires did we repeat it frequently to our selvs at least every morning as soon as we are awake that we are near Eternity this graine of Incense would perfume the whole Temple and be an Antidote against inward Lust and impure thoughts against the Infection and defilement of bad Company and the snares of worldly Business and do much to prevent vaine and sensual actions and to cure vaine affections Did we believe it and believe it near should we not take as much pains to secure Eternal life as we see men doe to get Riches Should we not use the same diligence care and circumspection the same prudent foresight watchfulness and perseverance to prevent Everlasting destruction as others doe to provide against Poverty and to live in Plenty a little while on Earth Should we not rejoyce as much in the promise and hopes of it as others do in the prospect and expectation of some Earthly Advantage Lord I confess and bewail the weakness of my faith How often have I concluded and said that Heaven alone is the place of Happiness and yet my carnal Heart is too much affected with Earthly ThÃngs How often have I resolved upon the conviction of the certainty of the Eternal world to mind this less and to affect and seek it no more as I have done and yet my foolish Heart is hankering after it still O crucifie my affections to things below and let the believing Thoughts of the next Life render me victorious over all the Temptations of this Pardon and
who loveth Righteousness will clear my Integrity if it may best subserve his own Great and holy ends at least he will stand by and help me when all forsake me and if he speak Peace and give inward Consolation who can speak Trouble and his final Judgment which is near at hand will distribute rewards and punishments to all according to their works Suppose farther that I should want a sepulcher after Death There is nothing I could better be without If God receive my Soul and will raise my Body at the last day wither it putrifie and consume under ground or above it is no great matter They who are alive will be more concern'd in that then I shall be Graves are for the sake of the Living rather then the Dead The Sun the Raine the Air Birds Beasts Worms will all contribute to give me Burial if men deny it The only difference is that it will be a little longer ere I am buried If my soul rest in the Bosome of my Saviour and by persevering in the love and practise of the Truth I have secured my Reputation with wise and Good men I need not be sollicituos what become of my Body My Almighty Judge will raise me a glorious Body like his own and reunite it to my soul As easily as certainly as for any of those whose Bodies were preserved in Caves and Vaults in Proud Sepulchers and under stately Monuments I may dye this year and shall not then have the satisfaction to see my Children or nearest Kindred educated provided for setled and disposed of But is not the Everliving God the same cannot he as well take care of them when I am gone as now answer all my prayers after my deceas and exercise that Fatherly care wisdom and love which shall dispose of their conditions save them from Temptations and supply all their wants and exceed all my desires in reference to them and fullfill his Covenant promise from generation to generation to the Childrens of them that fear him O how weak is my Faith that cannot trust God in so common and plaine a case Lastly I may dye this year and not live to see the Ruine of the Antichristian Kingdom and Interest and the accomplishment of many Excellent Promises which concern the Rest and Peace and Purity and Glory of the Churches of Christ on earth in the latter days But have I not deserved by my provoking unbelief Ingratitude and Disobedience to dye in the Wilderness and not behold the promised land or see the Peace of Jerusalem and will not the strugglings of Satan to support Babilon infer a dismal night of darkness and distress before the expected morning of deliverance so that it may now if ever be truly said Henceforth Blessed are the Dead who dye in the Lord. And if God will take me to himself in the other world I cannot possibly be a looser tho I should not see the Beginnings of a New Heaven and a New Earth in this However I rejoice in Hope and pray incessantly for the Resurrection of the Witnesses and the rebuilding of Sion and the more plentifull Effusion of see the H. Spirit the great comprehensive promise of the Latter Times to effect a glorious Kingdom for Christ on earth and my Faith assures me I shall hereafter the Son of God revealed from Heaven clothed with Majesty sitting on a cloud leading the Heavenly Host raising the Dead by his powerfull voice summoning all the World to appear to Judgment gathering his Elect and finally destroying death and him that had the power of it the Devil condemning the wicked to Everlasting Destruction but acquitting honouring and rewarding his poor members with infinite and Eternal Blisse XV. Of Dying in a Forreign Country and of Dying Young. Considerations proper to Reconcile the mind to both I May not live to the end of this year God in his Providence having called me abroad I may never see my Native Country more Let me still remember o my Soul that wherever I am I am travelling towards the Grave and passing to another world that I may live in all Places as a Pilgrim and Stranger here on Earth with Affections suited to my condition becoming one who is travelling in a Strange Land. Let me bear the Inconveniencies I may meet with in this world as Strangers in their Travells are wont to doe Let me not repine at the ill accommodations of an Inne where I am to lodge but a night or two but encourage my self with the assurance of better Entertainment at home when my Pilgrimage is ended and my Journey over One of my dearest holy Friends Mr. Thomas Bent who dyed at Geneva May 10. 1683. and Fellow Travellers whose memory will be ever precious with those who knew him quickly arrived to his Journeys end and is entred into Rest betimes Which of his Companions shall next follow we know not or how soon Lord make me apprehend the nearness of my change in every place and if I am prepared for dying no matter where it be There is no one Country farther from the Presence of God then another The whole world may be considered as one Great House and the several Kingdoms and Countries of it but as different Apartments in the same house and they who tarry at home are no more exempt from Death then they who Travell abroad The Presence of my Gracious Father is every where the same in some measure Blessed be my God I have hitherto found it so And may I not rejoyce in God in a desart in a Wilderness tho all the World should forsake me tho all the world should be against me Should I have no other Friend or Helper is not God an infinite God Enough and without his favor and Presence what can all this world do for me If I am sick and in danger of Death among my Relations and Friends if the comforts of the Allmighty do not refresh and delight my soul they cannot and if I want not these in my last agonies no matter in what part or corner of the Earth I breath my last If the word and promise of God be my Foundation an holy Hope my anchor Christ my Pilot and Heaven my Country I shall not fail of being landed there at last Suffer me not to forsake thee o Heavenly Father while I live and do not thou forsake me in my last Hour and let it come when and where thou wilt If my Blessed Saviour will receive my departing soul at death I am not sollicitous in what Country or part of the Earth it be And that I may not be unwilling in the flower of my Age and Time in Youth and Strength to leave this world let me think often that no one age or part of Life is more privileged against the stroke of Death then another If I have done my work betimes as my deceased Fellow Traveller had is it not better to receive the Blessed Recompence then to tarry longer
in a world of sin and suffering absent from the Lord Shall I not thereby escape a multitude of Temptations sins and sorrows which others by living longer are exposed to If my Peace be made with God what should make me willing to live at this distance from him what shoul render this world so desireable where God is so dishonored where I am so often tempted to displeas him and so often yeild to such Temptations and may I not fear least I should fall into such scandalous and greivous sins that may bring a publick reproach on the Gospell of Christ and sadden the Hearts of all my Aquaintance who love the Lord Jesus in sincerity And tho I should maintaine my Integrity yet in this world my highest love and obedience to God and my sweetest communion with him is but imperfect How many Impediments and Diversions do I dayly meet with that deaden my Heart to Heavenly contemplations and affections what disapointments and sorrow full disasters to convince me this is not the place of Rest and Happiness what smart Afflictions may some of my Relations prove what dangerous snares may attend me in the remaining Portion of my Time what opposition and hatred from men may the stedfast professing of the Truth and fidelity to God expose me to what publick national calamities may I have my share in c. But if I consider old Age it self which we doe desire to reach what and how many are the Infirmities and Griefs and troublesome Circumstances which attend that state which dying young will prevent are not most men who reach a very great old Age helpless objects of Pitty a Burden to themselvs and to all about them And which commonly happens may I not then be as unwilling to dye as at present as loath then to leave the world as now tho in a manner it will have left me for how many old men past the relish of sensual Pleasures are yet inordinately fond of a longer Life Have I not been told by Heathens as well as Christians that 't is not the length of Time but its improvement that doth really make a Long Life If I have anfwered the ends for which I were born 't is not too soon to dye No man ever miscarried as to his Everlasting Intrest because his Life was short but Evill He that is prepared for Death hath lived long enough and should thank God for a speedy call to the possession of that Felicity which the Holiest Saints on Earth desire and breath after Gideon lost nothing by returning from victory while the Sun was yet high If I have wrought but a few hours in the vineyard and done but a little service for my Lord and Master and yet am dismist and rewarded before the Rest of my Fellow Laborers shall I repine and think my Lord doth not be friend me If he hath any farther Service for me he will prolong my days and make me diligent I hope and contended Otherwise I pray he would make me ready to dye and make me willing and desirous to depart this Life For to be only content to dye that I may be perfectly Holy and fully Blessed is me thinks too low for a Christian who acts like himself believing the Certainty of his anowed Principles and Hopes and knowing that while we are present in the Body we are absent from the Lord. XVI The contemplation of our approaching change may assist us to mortifie the Lusts of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and the Pride of Life to cure Ambition and promote Contentment AL that is in the World saith the Apostle is the Lust of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and the Pride of Life The dust and ashes of our own mortality duely considered and applied will help to dead and extinguish each of thes By Pride of Life we lift up our selvs against Heaven and despise our Maker by the lust of the Flesh we overlove and indulge the body and study to gratifie the sensual Appetite by the lust of the Eyes our Desires are immoderate after Temporal and External Goods The thought of our approaching End hath a tendency to oppose and mortifie these Lusts to humble us before God to take us off from the inordinate love of the Body and to moderate our passions to Earthly Things It may help us against Pride by showing us the infinite distance between the Eternal self-sufficient God and such poor Dust as we who are but of yesterday and if he uphold us not and maintaine our souls in life shall be laid in the dust to morrow It will mind us of his Justice against Sin the Parent of Death and of all the miseries of our mortal state and convince us of our weakness to resist his will or avoid his wrath As to our fond affection to the Body it may instruct us that it deserves not to be so much accounted of it will open our eyes to discern the preference of our Immortall souls and what concerns them to the interest of a perishing Body It may convince us that we are cruel and unkind to our very bodies by overloving them because we thereby contribute to their Eternal sufferings and so teach us to love and use our bodies as Servants to our Souls in this world and as expecting to share in Glory with them after the Resurrection It may also help to moderate our desires after Earthly Good and so cure the Lust of the Eyes by letting us see the vanity uncertainty and short duration of these things and their insufficiency to make us Happy and give us true Content The Thoughts of an approaching change may if any thing will do it damp the mirth of the Luxurious Epicure and strike him into a fit of trembling as did Belshazzar's handwriting on the wall It may discover the distraction of living in pleasure and of care to please the senses and the fleshly appetite when the End is so near If may likewise check the folly of Ambitious Designs that men should make so much a doe to get into slippery places from whence they may so easily fall Where being puft up with vaine applause they forget themselvs and their latter end till their Life and Glory expire together Where are now the Great and Mighty and Honorable who have made such a noise in the world what is now the difference between the dust of an Alexander or Caesar and that of their meanest slaves or Captives Could their dignities and earthly Glory preserve any of them from the stroke of Death or the Judgment of God or without Repentance from his condemning Sentence Think o my Soul how little it will shortly signifie wither I have been known and honoured among men or no any farther then God may be glorified by it How should it suppress vaine Glory to think of being one day esteemed and worshipt reverenced and applauded by dying men and laid in the Grave the next Let me rather seek that Glory and Honour
spared for his Greatness nor the mean man for his Poverty O Fool o Wretch that I am shall many then say who now brave it out in Pride and vanity unconcern'd about a future Judgment not to be persuaded by the Terrors of the Lord which I was so often warn'd and foretold of what refuge of Hope can I now flye to what can I say for my self what can I doe to escape to dye to exist no longer I would have no compassion on my own Soul I would not so much as consider its Danger I shall now find none from Christ I can expect none his Mercy is gone and gone for ever I am lost undone tormented and must Eternally be so O the amazement Horror and Despair of self condemned Sinners in that day of Vengence O my Soul what is there of greater Consequence or of greater Certainty from the word of God then that I must appear to Judgment when Christ shall come againe Lord teach me to believe it firmly to consider it often to lay it seriously to Heart to act under the influence and power of it as long as I live that at the Great Resurrection from the Dead I may lift up my head with a joyfull Hope and find the Judge to be my Friend my Advocate my Jesus and not my Enemy and Destroyer XXIII Meditations of the Glory of Christ in his Glorifyed Saints and of the thankfull Admiration of Believers when He shall come againe from Heaven which shall be continued to all ETERNITY THe Terror of our Lords Appearance to Judgment cannot be greater to the wicked then the comfort and Joy it will be to the Saints When they shall see him whom their Souls love ascend with him to Heaven and be wellcom'd according to his promise with those indearing words Matt. 25. Come the Blessed Children of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from before the foundation of the world 'T was for your sakes I assumed flesh lived on Earth and dyed on the crosse to purchase this Glorious Kingdom for you which I now come to give you the Possession of 'T was for this I prayed and suffered on Earth for this I interceded ever since in Heaven I was heard in that prayer accepted in those sufferings and my Intercession granted that where I am you may be also to behold my Glory Come therefore Good and Faithfull Servants enter into your Lords Joy. O what Ravishing words will thees be what an Extasy of Love and kindness is implied in them What matter of Rejoycing may it now give me to admit the Hope that my Blessed Saviout will say such words as these to me and bid me stand upon his Right Hand among his sheep O what an exulting frame of soul will such Expressions raise how shall all my doubts and fears and sorrows be scatter'd in a moment and cease for ever O Glorious Day when my Blessed Lord shall thus publickly acknowledg me for his own and plead my cause against all the accusations of Satan and the malicious Calumnies of all his Instruments when I shall be able to say of all my Sins and sufferings as my Lord upon the crosse It is Finished It is Finished My warfare being accomplisht being more then Conqueror over all thro him who loved me and dyed for me and now is come to wipe away all Tears from mine Eyes as it were with the Napkin that was bound about his Head when laid in the Grave all being the fruit of his Meritorious Death Then shall I have nothing more to fear or wish or beg I shall offend provoke and dishonour him no more or by my folly and scandal discredit his holy name and Gospell But by consummate Holiness be fitted to Rejoyce in his Presence Love and celebrate his Praise for ever I shall never more lament his Absence or complaine of his Anger never see a cloud on his Face or a Frown in his look any more Now I must wait and pray struggle and strive labor and suffer desire and expect believe and hope c. but then perfect Rest and Holiness love and joy vision and fruition bliss and glory unutterable and everlasting shall take place All the Attributes of God all the wonderfull Perfections of Christ will then be glorifyed in Believers and admired by them His invariable Truth will then be honoured which they trusted to and waited for for now they shall know and find they did not wait in vaine they hoped in his word and ventured their Salvation upon it and now they shall receive the End of their Faith and Hope infinitely beyond what they ever expected or believed The Glory of Divine Wisdom will then appear when the Constitution Administration and design of the Mediators Kingdom shall be fully known in the admirable order and beauty of every part of it with the exact tendency of all the particulars to one Glorious end and the whole undertaking crownd with so blessed an issue What is now a mystery even to Believers themselvs and hath a vail upon it shall then no longer be so all the riddles of Gods Graee and Providence be plainly understood O how transporting a view must it needs be when the Glory of all the divine Attributes which God intended to accomplish in and by Christ shall be manifest to his Redemed Saints The whole method of our Salvation will then appear to be the fruit of unscearchable Wisdom when we shall all see the reality and substance and intire scheme of all that God designed in and by him all that was typified of him and foretold concerning him in the old Testament How will it all appear to be the Manifold Wisdom of God. Ephes 3. c. 10. As in uniting Heaven and Earth together in the Person of our Mediator fullfilling the Truth of a terrible Threatning in his death by the same way accomplishing many gracious Promises Vid. Mr. Charnock of the Div. Attrib Wisdom Satisfying Justice and at the same time showing Mercy manifesting infinite Grace and kindness by shedding of bloud conquering Death by dying and disarming the Law by obedience to it c. afterwards subduing the world to the Faith of the Gospel by the foolishness of preaching making men wise to Salvation by the knowledg of the Crosse and spreading that Faith the more by all the opposition made against it c. how wonderfully will a clear view of these things discover and glorifie the Wisdom of God. But the Love and Grace of Christ the infinite Goodness and Compassion of God will then be magnified in an especial manner What but Soveraine Love in the whole Contrivance and Counsell of God about our Redemption what admirable Love and Grace in the whole management of that design what unparrallel'd kindness in the accomplishment of it by the sacrifice of the son of God and how glorious will this Love appear when he shall come againe to give us the full Harvest of all his Purchase with what admiring
slip have I not made it more my business to seem Religious then really to be so how much of the Patience of God have I abus'd refusing his calls to Repentance resisting the strivings of his Spirit smothering my Convictions and turning the grace of God into wantonness In stead of returning gratitude for all his Love I have repeated my Transgressions after Forgiveness and gone in a circle of Repenting and Sinning even to this day Lord I am Asham'd and lay my self in the dust before thee To me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of Face If God should condemn and punish me as a Rebell and a Traitor and give me the Portion of Hypocrites I cannot but own his Justice even in Hell I must do it with my flaming Tongue and Breath O Spare me for thy mercies sake Enter not into Judgment with thy servant for in thy sight shall no flesh living be justifi'd if Thou lay Judgment to the line and equity to the Plummet Give me Repentance unto life never to be repented of never to be retracted againe Bring me to the Bloud of Jesus which cleanseth from all sin Behold the sighings of a contrite Spirit For I acknowleg my Transgressions unto thee against whom I have sinned o Lord forgive the Iniquity of my Sin. I am unworthy to lift up my hands and Eyes towards Heaven unworthy to be called thy son or thy servant I am vile in mine own eyes because I have made my self vile in thine For this I am troubled and mourn and my Soul is grieved within me O thou Heavenly Physitian of Souls from thy Pitty alone I expect my cure I am miserable and undone without thy Compassion and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace I must perish and sink under the burden of Sin if thy mercifull hand doe not save me and lift me up I am intangled and insnar'd by the Devill and my Lusts and without thy Succor can never hope to get free O Lord for give my Sin and heal my Soul deliver and save me for thy mercies sake May I not yet hope in thy mercy thou hast mercyfully born with me hitherto thou callest me to repent thou commandest me to return and promisest to forgive those Sins which are confessed and forsaken O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee I abhorr my self in dust and ashes for my past Iniquities But alas such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance how much more may God despise and reject it But hast thou not given thy H. Son to dye for Sinners and exalted him to this very end to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins And by the word of thy Grace thou beseechest all even the Greatest Sinners to accept of mercy and art more willing to pardon then we can be to Repent T is thy Delight and Glory agreable to thy nature and declared Name as a God gracious and mercifull slow to Anger and of great Kindness fergiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin. O Pardon mine Iniquity for it is great and receive an humble Penitent who implores thy Grace according to the Tenor of thy new Covenant flying to the arms of thy Mercy thro the merits of Jesus Christ who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him Lord hear my Prayer and let not the mixture of my weaknesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin but graciously vouchsafe to look upon a returning Prodigal and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness that my sorrowfull Heart may be comforted and my life be directed to thy Praise Lead me into the path of life that I may no longer erre from the way of thy Commandments Teach me to do thy Will o God and write thy Law upon my heart that I may never more return to Folly. I am convinc't of the Evill of Sin of thy Right to govern me of the equity and Justice of thy Law of the sweetness and rewards of keeping thy precepts O sanctifie my Heart and make me Sound in thy Statutes that I may hate every false way and be devoted to thy Fear the remainder of my Life If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness which thro the power of Temptation and the deceitfullness of Sin you have fallen into that hath wasted Conscience and robb'd you of your Peace and provok't God to write bitter things against you be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Backsliding Confess it freely with its aggravations Consider wither it was not after some special manifestation of God's Love after some special warning some strong Conviction under or soon after some great Affliction from God or some more then ordinary kindness of his Providence c. and impress such Thoughts to humble your self the lower search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy such as the abatement of your watchfullness the neglect of serious closet devotion making bold with Temptation too great compliance with vaine Company venturing too far in lawfull or indifferent Things too much Confidence in your own Wisdom Strength and stedfastness not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin or avoiding the fuell incentives and occasions of it c. Palliate and disguise nothing that may make your sin exceeding sinfull least by some little Art of the Devil you deceive your self by an half-Repentance and the Evil Spirit you think to be cast out return againe with seven worse then himself and so your latter end be worse then your Beginning For if the sin be not truly hated but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes it will quickly flame out againe when it meets with combustible matter and a strong blast of Temptation But if you are griev'd to the very Heart and abhorr the Sin and resolve to quitt it you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you to Mercy His Spirit is yet striving with you if you are willing to Repent and return to God. He sought you and call'd you to return when you were wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way and can you think he will not be found of you if you seek him with your whole Heart Therfore renew your Repentance and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility Holy Fear and Watchfullness and every morning implore divine succors against that Sin and all Temptations to it Which as much as possible you must avoid Constant and fervent Prayer after Repentance must be your refuge and your Remedy If you let fall your hands this Amaleck will prevail againe assoon and as far as you fail in the constancy and fervency of that Duty your Sin will get strengh and successfully attempt you another Time. But by this practise God may turn Evil to work for Good make you gaine by your loss stand the faster by your