invade His person presently at such alarms He 's ready Giant-like to take up arms Against great Heaven and sticks not to let fly Indignant speeches 'gainst the Deity Just as the Thracians when fierce thunder tears The Clouds shoot arrows at the Heavenly Spheres Such persons stand upon the slippery brink Of ruine and as ready are to sink Into deep mischief as was Xerxes when Attended with a numerous host of men He to high Athos bold defiance sent As scorning by this lowest element To be ore-topt he threatned to oppress Natures dominions with his mightiness To make the earth grone and the Ocean quake Yet straight with wings of fear his flight did take His troops being chaced by Leonidas As by a Lion Sylvane Herds or as Thick swarms of Gnats along the dampish shores Are by a storm disperst when Boreas rores O vain Presumption that Ixâ—on-like Dost grasp a Cloud and would'st with terrour strike Thine enemies mock'st others with deceits Yet art thy self took with delusive haits As thou threw'st Angels from Celestial state So men by thee rais'd dost thou ruinate And as thou humbledst Babel to the ground And didst the Language of the world confound So greatest works thy pride still overthrows And fills whole Kingdoms with confused woes Yet 't is our fate or folly to run on Still in high-wayes of bold presumption Without restraint We like poor Prisoners cast Into a Dungeon on this Globe are plac'd The stair-foot of the world and sediment Of Nature whither all her dregs are sent Excretions and impurities yet we Think the whole world maintains an harmony For our sole sakes and that the glorious frame Of Heaven at our content doth chiefly aim Yea we pretend to know the Stars so well As if we did i' th' Heavenly houses dwell Vain mortals have we stellifi'd have all Along with Antiques hung th' Olympian Hall And as Celestials did affect our sporâ—s Bull Bear Dog Lion beasts of other sorts And sundry Fowls have we advanced high And starr'd therewith the fore-head of the sky Some high-flown wits play upon wing and strive To know what plots forsooth the stars contrive Consult with them about all great affairs As of Religion Empire peace and warrs Presumeing that as in the Book of Fate They read in Heaven the change of every State They calculate nativities and show What Fortunes in the paths of life shall go Along with men and what at last befall If their starre-doctrine prove authentical But if all grand mutations they fore-know Why did they not with all their art fore-show That to th' Religion which we now embrace Both Jewish Ceremonies should give place And Heathenish rites They did indeed foretell Which their bold rules doth shamefully resell That our Religion honour'd with the Cross Should fail and feel an universal loss When once three hundred threescore years were gone After that dread world-shaking Passion But their words were as far from truth as even Their arms from fathoming the arch of Heaven For then did Christianisme so mainly spread As if th' officious winds had carried It on their wings O the proud dorages Of shallow-headed mortals that profess The knowledge of the things they nere can reach Such as th' Intelligences scarce can teach Man wanting wit t' account himself a fool Is by the very Insects set to School Yet looks on 's fellow-creatures with as much Disdain as if his haughty brow did touch The roof of Heaven and with such tyranny Ore-awes the rest of Natures family As if they serv'd not to adorn the main Frame of the world or did not appertain To the same Lord on whom such injury Reflects and strikes at 's aweful Majesty But why poor Earthling dost thou swell so high Dost thou not see that beasts sagacity Puzzles thy reason that exalts thee so And their instinctive powers thy wits out-go So that their operations though thine eyes Frequently meet them pass for rarities Besides whereas the changes they fore-show Of th' air and more then man do seem to know The mind of Heaven or with it to maintain Some intercourse it frees them from disdain And such contempt as commonly among Frothy discourses is upon them flung No less to their own kind are men unkind Whilst lifted up like feathers in the wind With fumes of pride and hatching in their brain Mis-shap'd opinions they would yet constrain Others t' embrace their brood and as decrees Or settled laws obtrude their novelties He that upon the Moon had spent his wit And found both Sea and Land enough in it To furnish a new world with what a bold Front did he broch th' opinion he did hold Striving on others judgments to put tricks And make them like himself all Lunaticks So he that to the Earth gave motion and Would have the Sun as the worlds Centre stand Taught Magisterially as onely he Had chew'd the Kernel of Philosophy Surely if we could learn of wandering birds T' use wings as we can teach them t' utter words Our curious pride would make a flight more high Then Icarus his pitch thâ—t it might pry Into those wonders which from mortal eyes Are set at distance in the aweful skyes We would try whether th' Elemental fire Have the same heat with ours and would aspire To be acquainted with the Selenites If any such there be and feed our sights Upon such objects as young Phaeton In his wild wand'rings fixt his eyes upon Such fumes of vanity dilate the brain Of man that he conceits it doth contain As much as Heav'ns circumf'rence though so lame And shrunk's his Knowledge that the narrow frame Of his own body he ignores much less Can pierce int' incorporeal essences You sons of Aesculapius tell me why You faulter in your judgments frequently If you can dive into each deep recess Of bodies and know all the offices Of Nature there and of a watch so great Can the distemper'd wheels in order set But boldly some give hot as others cold Receipts against diseases that do hold Men in an equal thraldome some again Apply moist things to dull the edge of pain Others commend exiccatives some sluce The bloud out others do prefer the use Of sweating 'gainst which others too inveigh Because bad humours do the good betray Thus like Sea-robbers fasten'd back to back They look aversly and poor Patients rack By their distractions But how should they know Right cures that know not whence diseases grow For one sayes that the cause thereof doth lye In atomes which into our bodies fly Another doth derive such maladies From bloud distemper'd in our arteries A third affirms our spirits faulty are A fourth accuseth our inspired air A fifth upbraids us with bad nutriment Others there are that from all these dissent Then whom can we believe that they can tell What our diseases are or where they dwell They make me sick with terms as Lawyers doe Their Clients yet I cannot but laugh too To hear our Emp'ricks
All 's glorious in thy Fate excepting this Others have done and thou mayst speed amiss ANTHONY HARWOOD TIME'S out of TUNE SATYRE I. Against the deluge of Vice NOw ruffle up thy plumes my Haggard Muse Here 's store of game such as thou canst nor chuse But make a flight at and I wish thou mayst Use thy bold wings with as auspicious haste As did the sons of Boreas when from Thrace They did the foul Tartarean Harpyes chace The world 's now poison'd with impiety Enough to burst it and to make it fly Int' Epicurus atomes every where So torrent-like doth wickedness appear As if the meer pretence that in this age Manners should be reform'd did vice enrage As in the vap'rous air enclouded heat Then bustles most when churlish cold doth threat Hath War so shook the world that at some chink The Fiends have made escape or is some link I' th' chain of order broke that all do fly Our into lewd and lawless liberty Or does the Devil keep his Revel here That men do nought but brawl drink whore and swear Rob and defraud as if they up would rise In arms 'gainst Heaven and plainly gigantize Vice when our Wars began was in the blade But too soon ripen'd and doth now invade All tribes of men The very rural Bore As harmless as his Lambkins heretofore Will at the â—east disgust now seem to whet His angry tusks for malice foam and fret Betray his friend and cause his brother t' bleed As he were sprung of cadmus snaky seed Cities are pester'd like Bethesda's pool With sundry maladics both Knave and Fool Quartering their Arms are there in chief request And he that would survey a lazy nest Of soft Voluptuaries Novellists Proud Fashion-mongers Cheaters Mammonists Let him first having blest his eyes repair Thither and venture on their tainted air Rather then of our Academies speak Into a floud of tears my grief should break Could I therewith the Muses springs supply That are through heat of discord almost dry And send few Nurslings forth save such as sow The seeds of Schisme that fatally do grow In every corner of our bleeding land So heart-sick that the scarce doth understand Her own distempers As for those that were Our Kingdoms Columns and their Crests do reare Above the Vulgar as of late they grow In fortunes and in honours slight and low So every where they strain the Tenant high And rack him with such tort'ring cruelty As if they thought the breaking of his strength Would be a means to fortifie at length Their craz'd estates or as they hop'd to raise Their honours up by down-right wrongful waies Thus vice and errour rankly over-grow All ranks of men and play the Tyrants so Imperiously as they would tye each heart To lowest villenage and meant to part Mankind betwixt them O that wickedness Were now a Lion and I Hercules That I might tear its heart out and uncase The Monster that fair Albion doth deface I would not leave so much of 't as might lye In the small apple of a Wantons eye Or on the thin tip of a Lyers tongue But unto Hell dispatch it whence it sprung Deep discontent orewhelms me every day While childish Gulls that scarce ere learn'd to pray Curse like Goliah impiously let fly Contempt at Heaven make shew of valour by Their daring to blaspheme and utter that Which the infernal Fiends would tremble at O Iuvenal the Motives were but slight Compar'd with mine that caused thee to write Such fierce invectives in a moody rage So to bestorm the manners of that age Wherein thou liv'dst and thy right-levell'd lines To sharpen like the quills of Porcupines Thy age did halt but ours is down-right lamo Thine discompos'd but ours quite out of frame Thine aguish but ours heart-smitten by An Hectick which the Wars phlebotomy Did more enrage as having rouz'd much sin Which till these startling times had dormant bin Thy liver was but dry'd but mine t' a coal Is turn'd that fumes into my pensive soul And gives me no more rest then if I backt A billow when with storms the welkin crackt Whether th' Canaries may be styled well The Islands fortunate I scarce can tell But sure I am our Isle may termed be Unhappy for our pityed scarcity Of goodness who as loth to be at loss Of mischiefs greedily all vice engross Suck up the sins of Nations store up all Th' accursed ills that blast this flowery ball The Romans when they chanc'd to overcome Nations did still bring their Religion home But we that kill our own as much do gain As for his brothers slaughter wretched cain The candiots have been infamous for lyes The carthaginians for vile treacheries The Syrians for their soft effeminacy The Spaniards for hard hearted cruelty Th' Italians for high pride for deep excess The Dutch the French for rash fool-hardiness Others for other faults but we for all Are raxt our crimes within no compass fall We scoâ—n but to be lewder then the worst And for unhallowed courses more accurst The manners which we frequently â—o use Are like our Language borrowed but we chuse Such is our ill fate onely those that be The worst and stain'd with most impurity How fair a varnish laies hypocrisie On rotten stuffe to mock the soundest eye Never did men with wider throats commend Vertue then now such store of sighs they spend At their devotions and so towards the sky Like Geese in rain turn up the white o' th' eye That you would surely think they walked so As Enoch did and after him would go But should you view their inside you would start To see a Golgotha in every heart Such a cadaverous and lothsome Inne Of foul corruption such a sink of sin And villany that well we wonder may How his revengeful hand just Heaven can stay And not dart thunder at their heads that throw Divine Laws under foot and on them go To Dev'lish ends be clouding thus the face Of Sun-like sanctity with foul disgrace Surely Religion wears large sleeves that we Do pin thereon so much impiety Make shew of sanctimony preach and pray Yet heretheless calumniate and betray Lay plots of mischief offer injury The Devils sacrâ—fice snap greedily At Mammons baits take strumpets turn off wives And with all wickedness debauch our lives We like to Herod are that seem'd to look At Heaven devoutly when in hand he took His sword to slay poor Innocents and in His gloomy bosome hid an Hell of sin Some petty vices seem in some degree Ally'd to vertues and men easily May be therein mistook but those that bear Sway in our Nation like to Witches wear The Devils marks though plainlyer set to view Are full-grown evils of high coloured hue And horrid nature such as seem to call For direful vengeance on our heads to fall Ah Britain 't is no wonder that thou art So sharply plagu'd so maim'd in every part By thy self wounding arms so fleec'd and flay'd So
to one you little know ' Not know you he reply'd yes surely I ' Can eas'ly sent your flowers of Poesie ' I have sometime been sweetned with such things ' My self and haunted all the Muses Springs ' Though now my Delphick heat be quenchr I le tell ' You if you please how the mischance besell ' I as I had a forward mind to see ' Strange Regions travell'd towards Italy ' And having climb'd the highest ridg of all ' The Alps stood viewing the terrestrial ball ' When the Moon coasting towards me apace ' And smiling on me with a sorked face ' Wag that I was upon her horns begilt ' With beams I hung my rich embroider'd belt ' Whose lustre caus'd great Tycho to divine ' That Pallas with her burnisht blade did shine ' That night in stead of Phoebe Suddenly ' She glided from me through the spangled sky ' And left me shuddering in the stormy cold 'Till her bright chariot 'bout the world was roll'd ' And brought me what I staid for Then alas ' With Winters breath my brain so palsied was ' And Genius brought so low that since that time ' I nere could reach above poor ballad-rhyme ' I quickly measur'd much Italian ground ' Rifled proud Rome for rarities and found ' Some Monumental prizes that had lain ' Sleeping in rubbish since old Saturns reign ' With the great Pontise I disputed long ' And when the truth he did too plainly wrong ' I said as plainly Man of sin thou ly'st ' And forthwith spat i' th' face of Autichrist ' Yet got I off in safety and remov'd ' Towards that City which rare Virgil lov'd ' Upon whose Urn I did my head repose ' And dreaming of deep Knowledge thence arose 'To view Sibylla's gror wherein mine eyes ' I ru'd in search for hidden prophesies ' And found some mysteries that are not yet ' Disclouded by the beams of sharpest wit ' In this sam'd Region many months I spent ' But more in China whose rare Government ' Is celebrated through the world and stands ' As a fixt pattern for all other Lands ' Sir by your leave said I I fain would know ' How you so far did into favour grow ' With the Chineses sith they will maintain ' Commerce with none nor Strangers entertain 'T was thus When I had sated my desires ' In viewing of the vast Aegyptian spires ' The Cataracts and other wonders more ' I put off from that monster-breeding shore ' Into the Deep where near the mouths of Nile ' Viewing a Dolphin with a Crocodile ' Fiercely engag'd and staying with delight 'To see the issue of so strange a fight ' Comes an huge Ork and over-turns my boat ' Transmits me through a vast distended throat ' Into his bowels in such sort as he ' Was swallowed up who preacht to Ninivie ' The Monster as ore-joy'd with such a prey ' Scour'd through the surges of the foaming Sea ' How far I know not very far to me ' It seem'd ingulft in depth of misery ' It chanc'd that in his boisterous way did pass 'A crazed Vessel that well fraighted was ' With Greekish wine this Bark he to and fro ' Tost till the whole did under water go 'Save that three precious Runlets chanc'd to store ' But straight slipt down his Acherontick throat ' Just as by hungry Lions slender bones ' Are swallow'd or by Eagles little stones ' Pallas inspire me now said I I le try ' What wit and wine can work then dext'rously ' With a Steeletto let the liquor flow Which madded presently the Monster so ' That up and down he wallow'd and at last ' Tumbling to land on China's strand did cast ' An half-concocted Courtier Glad as could 'A creature be was I then to behold ' The lightful Heaven and civil men to see ' That cur'd my griefs with fruits of courtesie ' Enricht my knowledge with rare mysteries ' And let me down into deep policies ' Of stare that made me gracious at our Court ' Shew'd me inventions of no vulgar sort ' Such as our happier Bacon did in new ' Atlantis see whereby he famous grew ' More could I tell you but I now must go 'To the Sun-Tavern though my means be low ' And money short But your discourse said I ' Is long and so farewel He earnestly ' Follow'd and call'd me who would neither stay ' Nor yet look back but laughing pac'd away Tales as incredible as these are tost In vulgar mouths so frequent in our Coast That few can promise that they can relate A truth when many do so vainly prate If all that take delight in fables as Did Aesop though his sense no mockage was Were markt with such deformities as he Monkyes and Apes would prove good company At least fair Ladies would betray this Land To strangers that they might be better mann'd O Truth what is thy crime that thou art so Punisht by common voice and brought as low As plunder'd Scots has thy free speech been bent Against some stumbling-blocks of Government Look'st thou at Souldiers as at rough and high Rocks that with ruine threat the standers by Hast thou sound fault with Levies and Excise Or siding so at Sessions and Assise That slighted are thy plains although thy state Be nere so down cast and disconsolate If so thou 'rt lost in judgment of the wise And mayst go hang with Libra in the skyes How vain and empty are mens phansies He That seeks in Nature a vacuitie May find it here They take delight to throw Dust in the eyes of others and to sowe Their gulling forgeries in such a sort As Cadmus whereof Poets make report Did sowe Serpentine teeth Now if their seed Like his should grow this Isle would ever bleed The work of war would forward go in haste Mischief would like Aegyptian hail lay waste All in its way and those that are so rough And love dire discord would have bloud enough The Prince of wandering shades with specious lyes Such as some Oracles doth still disguise His black designs and as his Imps applauds Such as by slippery windings and sly frauds Do act the Serpent double tongues aswell As cloven feet are cursed marks of Hell Whereas clear truth is such an attribute As chiefly with Divinity doth suit Which is all essence all substantial light And nothing in it shadowy or slight Those that obscure it and prevaricate By misty falshood plainly violate A form celestial seeming to defie The great Assertor of all verity Base drossy natures blanch with falsity Their faults but noble souls hate forgery Cast scorn on those that gild a rotten cause And look on such as Eagles upon Dawes Those gray beards do deserve Orbiliâ— scourge Themselves who with severity should purge These coasts of lewd mis-government and yet Suffer your youngsters to corrupt their wit With vile
see ' His beard more grown I more respectively ' Shall look upon though now he does refuse 'To drink that I propos'd I cannot chuse ' But say I lately saw his brain so blown ' Up with strong liquor that his wits were flown ' Out of their hot-house and soon after went ' His tongue to seek them in their banishment ' When from his Chair where Doctor-like he sate ' Stooping to take up his too humble hat ' He fell and lay with legs and arms so spred ' As he had been a swimming to his bed ' In liquor that was spilt upon the ground ' Almost enough a Drunkard to have drown'd ' The Ale-wife seriercht out like an Owl and swore ' Her Guest was dead and had not paid his score ' Then pufft mine Host and chas'd with ale and oil ' His temples till his spirits did recoil ' Who rolling's tongue and opening half an eye ' Said you are much mistook I shall not dye ' Of thirst yet reach the tankard I will strain ' My pipes and merrily carouze again ' This is no fiction Sir you know it well ' Nor this which with like confidence I tell ' Such shrewd effects of drunkness you feel ' That you nere preach but from your Text you reel ' And vomit forth your malice upon those ' Whom your mis-government hath made your foes ' With such as talk demurely seem to chew ' Religion in their mouths you 'l quast and do ' Bold lawless things 'gainst drunkenness you will ' Be still inveighing and yet drink on still 'Till first your heart and then your head so light ' Be grown that Reason often takes her flight ' Clerkship and Drunkenness together dwell ' Now as the Dragon and the Idol Bell ' They whose examples dumbly should exhort ' Others to temp'rance tempt the vulgar sort ' By their loose lives to riot and excess ' Thus seeming to support their drunkenness ' As when the Unicorn has drunk 't is said ' That forthwith other beasts incline the head 'To th' brook so when the Corner-cap is soake ' Oft with strong liquor others are provok'd 'To th' like intemp'rance taking leave to be ' Debaucht as licene'd by Authority ' Now Knight and Clergy-man I think I have ' Pincht you but if you think yet to out-brave ' My courage here I do you both defie With that pots glasses candlesticks did fly At one anothers heads the table crasht The joynt-stools clatter'd as they had been dasht With a metalline storm they tugg'd and tore Gron'd with their falls and scuffled on the floor Tumbled out threats and curses with their hair Bloudy and ruffled did like Comets stare The tumult drew the Drawers up who when They saw they could not see ran down agen For lights and Sticklers and so these at length Loos'd their strict hold with many-handed strength Kept them at distance gave them time to pant And send for Surgeons whom they most did want For the Knights skull was batter'd so that 't will Be ever soft and seems contused still The Chaplains brow was strucken up and he Hath ever since lookt superciliously The Poet had the hinder part of 's head So dull'd with knocks that ever since 't is said His memory has faulter'd thought his wit That elsewhere lyes be quick and expedite All had their hurts and so will all that be Foil'd by this potent vice cbriety That flyes with furious boldness at the head And has thereby great Princes captive led If of all evils avarice be th' root The sap is drunkenness that forth doth shoot With ceaseless growth the heat of Hell and Ale Does to the germination much avail And sure a slabby Drunkard is a soil More fat and fruitful then the mud of Nile Strange to the world was drunkenness till Not Planted it with his Vines then did it grow With rank profusion strove to discreate Mankind and change it to a brutish state Turn'd wit to folly reason into rage And still so revels it upon our stage As having quell'd Religions force it quite Would bear down Nature with oppressive might Stagger with impudence int' every place And cast thereon the foulness of disgrace Rude vice how boldly dost thou domineer How dost thou almost in each face appear With thy bloud-guilty marks how dost thou make Bellies like bogs the head and hands to shake The feet to faulter and all parts beside Of lively force or lovely feature void We surely for our traffique with the Dutch Paid dearly who amongst them got a touch Of quassing such a touch as hath almost Tainted all persons spred through every Coast O' th' Kingdome which as Neptune doth enclose So in it of excess an Ocean flowes We take our bane so greedily as we Scorn'd to be less debaucht with luxury Then any Nation Those beyond the Seas Go not beyond us in excess not please Their Gullets more with quassing then we do T is some mens work and recreation too They carry 't to their graves as those of old In their dead mouths did wastage-money hold To pay th' infernal Ferry-man Not all Th' oppressive plagues incensed Heaven lets fall Upon our backs can make us bear a less Love to that lothsome High Voluptuousness In dark eclipses may we something see To tax our blindness and debility Terrours of thunder twit us with our late Dire wars that threatned all to minute Fevers upbraid us with our thirsty heat Not to be quencht and Agues with as great Unstableness in ways of happy choice Yet closely follow we our head-strong vice In wildest wayes and make the night to bear Witness of what we did all day endear Some vices with their Vassals do decay And seem to wither almost quite away Like tender Plants that fresh in Summer grow But live not to be blancht with Winters Snow Thus pride and lust in youthful years do bear Themselves aloft then sink and disappear But drunkenness when most exhaust and dry The carcass is goes down most pleasingly Leads the old Captive as with wandering fire To mischiefs punishing his lewd desire Buds in stale faces where all beauty 's gone And rudely grounds a new complexion You that your forms would like Vertumnus change Would from humanity your selves estrange And try what things Ulysses followers were After they were transformed by that fair But false Enchantress do you to excess And sordid gluttony your minds depress Darken there with your intellectual eye Which when it shall clear up and you desery The truth of things if then you chance to find Just cause to be so brutishly inclin'd Turn altogether Swinish and in deep Mire of excess your groveling senses steep Wallow with Gyryllus and nere care to be Advanc'd again to humane dignity SATYRE XIII Against Ambition IF man be aptly styl'd a Bubble why Desires he to be rossed up on high With blasts of Fame sith scarcely we admire A thing that does