continual fresh Communications from his infinite fulness must needs make our subjective Happiness to be always new and eternally such Let me by such Thoughts quicken and excite my diligent Endeavours after a greater meetness to injoy so great a Bliss And to that end consider whether any of those happy Souls who have finisht their Course and obtained the Prize do now regret their utmost Diligence Patience and Perseverance during their short abode here to secure the Blessedness of an endless Life No no they are far from repenting the Time they spent the Trouble they were at the Care they used the Difficulties they met with the Sufferings they indured to conflict with the World and the Flesh to resist Temptation to watch over their Hearts and Words and Ways to work out their Salvation to please God and be faithful to him c. They find to their unspeakable Comfort and everlasting Joy that Heaven makes amends for all they could do or suffer in order to their coming thither Yea they find that they were not Diligent and Humble and Patient and Circumspect enough That they did not love God and seek his Glory redeem their Time and improve all their Talents and Opportunities of doing and receiving Good and give up themselves intirely to prepare for Heaven to that degree they should have done They find by the transcendency of the blessed Recompence that it deserved infinitely more than the most Active Zealous Christian upon Earth did ever do in order to it Lord quicken my Resolutions and Endeavours by such thoughts as these Inspire my sluggish carnal Heart with holy Light and Life and Zeal and Fervour that looking to the things which are not seen which are Eternal I may * 1 Tim. 1.19 lay up a good Foundation against the Time to come and so lay hold of eternal Life But alas How much have I neglected the great Duty of Holy Meditation How little skill and experience have I in it How tastless and insipid oftentimes are my Thoughts of God! how confused and unsteady how little Pleasure or Advantage have I by contemplating his highest Excellencies Yet methinks could I but retain the same awakened lively thoughts of Heaven and Eternal Life which sometimes I have had might I continually feel the sweet and sacred Influence as for a little season I have sometimes felt it how little how very a Nothing would all this World be to me how comparatively weak its strongest and most alluring Snares to draw me off from God! with what an unshaken mind could I refuse and resist ' em with what an unconcerned indifference could I look upon all its most charming Glory Could I maintain such a frame of Spirit as I have sometimes had for a little while in the serious Contemplation of Divine Mysteries in Fervent Prayers and other Solemn Duties of Religion when the acts of Faith were strong and lively my Heart set on fire with love to God and holy breathings after him admiring his matchless Grace to fallen Sinners and to my Soul in particular when he brought me to the very Suburbs of Heaven tho alas how seldom by the delightful Thought of what the Blessed Spirits above injoy in being where Christ is and beholding his Glory when I was ready to say within my self 'T is good to be here this is no other than the Gate of Heaven Oh when shall Mortality be swallowed up of Life But when I thought at any time to fix and settle in such sweet Contemplations how quickly did my lazy backward Heart fly off how soon did the flame decay and dye away how soon did I find my self fallen down to Earth again sunk down from the Bosom of my Lord presently forgot my self and Heaven to dwell among the Pots and imbrace a Dunghill 'T was not on my own Wings O Lord that I soared so high but I hope by the breathings of that holy Spirit of Light and Love who bloweth when and where and how long he listeth Who gave me at any time any such first fruits of the Spirit who convinc't me of the Certainty of the Heavenly Inheritance by a lively believing foresight of it who made me earnestly desire the Wings of a Dove to be gone and appear before God in Sion made me Pant and Groan to be delivered and to be with God and Christ with inexpressible Desire and Joy unconceivably mixt with Sighs and Groans O my God! let not this experience be only such a Taste of the Powers of the World to come as is consistent with final Apostacy only the seeming Zeal of the stony Ground the rapturous Joy of an Hypocrite from the Power of Imagination and a heated Fancy from the workings of meer natural Self-love upon mistaken apprehensions of God and a false Opinion of Heaven but by the holy effects let me be assured of the Cause and Principle that it was of God! Teach me from the sweetness of a Spiritual Communion with God now in any of his appointed Ordinances to argue to my self what that most ravishing Satisfaction will be that the Enjoyment of God in Heaven will afford the Soul. Our Holiness is now imperfect to what it shall be and therefore our Consolation Peace and Joy is but in part and incomparably less than we are assured it will be when we shall be admitted to behold the Glory of the Lord. 'T is now at most but as the Break of Day to the Lustre of the Meridian Sun. But if in this low imperfect State we can sometimes obtain so near a View of his Glory and feel such sweet Communications of his Grace how much more of this Consolation and Joy is reserved to Heaven If in this Pilgrim State the Gifts and Graces and Comforts of the Holy Spirit are so refreshing O! what hath God prepared beyond the Grave for those who love him If now he sometimes shed abroad his love in our Heart after such a manner how much better shall I love him and feel the influence and evidence of his Love to me when I shall be with him and see him Face to Face If the apprehensions of this future Blessedness do now encourage raise and animate my drooping Soul O what shall I know and see And how shall I rejoyce when the Vail is removed If a Sacramental Communion with God and Jesus Christ be sometimes so sweet and so affecting what will the Blessed Communion with God and all his Saints above amount to when I shall sit down with all the Children of God in the Presence of the Bridegroom at the last great Supper of the Lamb in Glory If the Earnest of our Inheritance be so reviving what will be the full Possession of it If the Hopes of that glorious Day by holy Meditation be so transporting what will be the end of our Faith and Hope If a Grape or two in the Wilderness be such a Cordial what will be the whole Vintage in the Land of Promise Shall I after all
my self once more to be the Lord's more unfeignedly more firmly than ever I have hitherto done that the Bonds of God upon me may be strengthned and my Soul more throughly ingag'd to be the Lord's O help me to do it with the greatest seriousness as the most important Affair of my whole Life by thine aid and Grace alone shall I be sincere and cordial in this surrender and Dedication of my self O breathe upon my Soul most Holy Spirit the Power of the Highest that there may be no Hypocrisie or Reservation in this so weighty and solemn Transaction between God and me O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY Father Son and Holy Spirit Thy favor is my Life and thy Lovingkindness is better than Life Thy Will should have been my Rule thy Word my Law thy Glory my end to please thee my principal Business and to injoy thy Love and Presence my ultimate Felicity But I am one of thy revolted Creatures who have lost thine Image and rebell'd against thy Law slighted thy Authority and rejected thy Grace and deserve to be cast out of thy sight and banisht from thy Presence for ever Nevertheless O most merciful God and Father upon thy gracious invitation and call I now return to thee my rightful Lord acknowledging thee as my Almighty Wise and bountiful Creator my absolute Owner my Righteous Governour my End my Happiness and Chief Good. I now accept thine offer'd Mercy I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace and give up my self to Thee as my King and my God to rule and sanctify me now and be my Everlasting Portion I desire to be no longer my own but Thine to whom of right I belong and ought to be devoted I yield my self to Thee O my Lord Accept and possess that which is thine own I lay my self at thy Foot at all Times and in all Conditions to be at thy dispose and in every thing to acquiesce in thy Good Pleasure Deliberately resolving with unfeigned and free consent of my Will to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual Avowed Servant Lord I am thy servant I am thy servant the Son of thine Handmaid Though other Lords have had dominion over me I will now make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only by Jesus Christ O Blessed Jesus my All-sufficient Saviour Thy dying Love infinite Condescention and matchless Grace hath at last overcome me and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Blood. I now acknowledg and own Thee as my Lord and my Jesus my Prophet Priest and King my Sacrifice Surety and Ransom to satisfy for my Sins and reconcile me unto God to instruct me in his Will and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom and the way to the Father How often hast thou open'd thine arms and called me yea beseecht me to come unto thee and accept of Life but I refused to come I adore thy merciful Condescention that yet thou wilt receive me on such easy Terms O thou Lord of Life and Glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner who flies to Thee as his only Refuge and Hope who is convinc't that None but Christ None but Christ can make his Peace with God and save from wrath to come I acknowledg thy Title to me and my obedience and to all I have by dying for me I desire to take thy Yoke upon me for it is Easie and thy Burthen which is Light. I desire to be intirely and for ever thine in an Everlasting Covenant never to be broken to take up the Cross and follow thee whithersoever thou shalt lead me through the straight Gate and the narrow way I will reserve no Lust refuse no Labour grudge at no Suffering stick at no difficulty so I may please and honour thee and continue in thy Love. O shed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart to make all Things easie for his sake who hath loved me and washed me from my Sins in his own Blood. O God the Holy Ghost I acknowledg Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier and give up my self to Thee as the Author of all saving Knowledg and Holiness By Thee I have been convinc't of my Sin against the Law of God and the Gospel of Christ and of my necessity of his Merit Satisfaction and Righteousness to justify my guilty Soul by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin and my acceptance with God and of the freeness of his Love the Riches and alsufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by Him. I adore Thee O most Blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the Divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purify my Heart and to sanctify all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were Servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the Blood of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the Holy Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Believers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O blessed Spirit be thou my Witness that though I have violated the Law of God and defac'd his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospel yet by thine Aid I now accept what I have so long neglected and thankfully devote my self henceforward to be the Lord 's in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavor to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State. To this One God I have once again dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life in the Performance of all Duties even those which I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy Will making it my business to be fruitful in good Works to the praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his appointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more victorious over inward Lusts and outward Temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even Eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord
are intended to direct and assist him in I am perswaded he will thank me for putting him in mind at least of so seasonable an Exercise The greatest part of these Meditations were begun on a New-years day tho some others are thought fit to be inserted as tending to promote the same design But knowing how much easier it is to stir up other Mens Devotion than to command and keep alive my own 't is desired that the most devout Thoughts contained in these Papers may be looked upon as what the Author aims at and would perswade to rather than what he hath already attained as what he knows he ought to be and do and doth seriously endeavour rather than what he is and hath been heartily lamenting wherein he hath been Faulty or defective in such duties as these and the like Reflections do oblige to and enforce upon All who shall read them and therefore much more upon himself That they were Penn'd at several times and in occasional Retirements for Spiritual Exercises will with the difference of the Subjects be a sufficient excuse that some are larger and others shorter and that the Style is in some places more neglected than in others If I may hereby render any Service to the Souls of Men if any secure Sinner any Self deceiving Hypocrite or backsliding Christian be hereby awakened or any serious Believer's Devotion be quickned and advanced I hope God will accept it To his Blessing I humbly recommend it for those Ends. THE CONTENTS THE Introduction which shews from what time the Jews reckoned the Beginning of their Year of the difference between their Sacred and Civil Account The Feast of Trumpets on the first day of the Year its Institution Nature and Design the Traditions and Customs of the Jews respecting that Day pag. 1 Sect. I. Of the changeable State and short Duration of Earthly Things especially of Man how little it is considered and believed how necessary it should be pag. 15 II. Of the Change in Mens Inclinations Opinions and Actions which one year shews How observable it is in Others how much more discernable in our Selves Honour and Reputation c. how uncertainly preserved and how easily blasted p. 21 III. Of the Uncertainty of Living to the Period of another Year The Vanity of this Life The Swiftness of Time and how to be improved p. 28 IV. Of the seeming Difference between so many Years Past and the same number of Years to come p. 34 V. The little Portion of our Time on Earth considered by a Computation of the Life of Man from the number of Years and Hours p. 36 VI. Of the Redemption of Time how precious and valuable a Treasure it is and will be thought to be when 't is too late p. 40 VII Of the Ordinances of Heaven Day and Night Summer and Winter Seed Time and Harvest their order and succession establisht by God is the effect of Infinite Wisdom and Goodness What they may teach us p. 45 VIII Of Evils to be expected in this Year the Wisdom and Mercy of God in concealing from us the knowledge of future Events p. 50 IX The supposition of dying this Year should be improved the consequence of redeeming Time and providing for Eternity farther prest The Folly of Elder Persons is condemned and checkt from the Example of Children 'T is adviseable to familiarize the Thoughts of Death and to imagine before-hand what Apprehensions of things we shall then have p. 54 X. The Brevity of Life considered as the fruit of Sin. There are but three ways of leaving this World as Abel Adam or Enoch A diligent improvement of Time farther prest and the neglect of it bewailed p. 59 XI Of the Expectation of Another Life The Vanity and Misery of Man in his Best Estate if there be none The satisfactory removal of that supposition by the Thoughts of God and of Eternal Felicity in his Blessed Presence p. 63. XII The consideration of the Death of others especially of Relations Friends and Acquaintance how to be improved What instructions we may learn by the fight of a dead Carkass or a Deaths-Head and the usual Motto on it and what by the death of Holy Persons to quicken our desires to be as they p. 70 XIII What Influence the consideration of Eternity would have upon our Hearts and Lives if soundly believed and considered Especially if the supposition of Dying this Year be annexed to it p. 77 XIV How a good Man may improve and encourage himself under the Supposition of dying this Year even in the most uneasy and undesirable Circumstances p. 82 XV. Of dying in a Foreign Country and of dying Young. Considerations proper to Reconcile the Mind to both p. 89 XVI The contemplation of our approaching Change may assist us to mortifie the Lusts of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and Pride of Life to cure Ambition and promote Contentment p. 96 XVII The same Argument considered farther as disswasive from Worldliness and Earthly mindedness and as proper to confute the vanity of long Projects and great Designs for this World. p. 100 XVIII The consideration of the certain near Approach of an Everlasting State amplified and prest to inforce an Holy Life p. 104 XIX The Punishments of the Damned considered as Intolerable and Everlasting and as unquestionably Certain What the Reflection upon Hell-Torments may and ought to teach us p. 112 XX. The Eternal Blessedness of HEAVEN considered as the Perfection of Holiness to quicken our desires and endeavours after greater Meetness to possess it p. 125 XXI A devout Meditation upon the 73. Psalm 25. Whom have I in Heaven but thee And there is none upon Earth that I desire besides thee p. 140 XXII The Glorious Appearance of Christ to Judgment considered as Certain The Terror and Astonishment Confusion and Despair of Wicked Jews and Christians to behold their Judge and bear his condemning Sentence to EVERLASTING Destruction p. 149 XXIII Meditations of the Glory of Christ in his Glorified Saints and of the thankful Admiration of Believers when He shall come again from Heaven which shall be continued to all Eternity p. 159 XXIV Concerning the Examination of a Man's Heart and Life the Reasonableness Advantages and Necessity of it Some Direction and Advice concerning the Time and Manner That we may know in what Preparedness we are for ETERNITY p. 171 XXV How Christans ought to examine their Decays of Grace and Piety The greatness of their Sin and of their Loss under such a Declension God's Displeasure and departure from them considered to awaken endeavours of Recovery In what manner the Faith of Adherence may be acted by one who hath no Assurance p. 183 XXVI Confession of Sin Humiliation and Repentance must follow upon Self-Examination Advice concerning Repentance of some particular Backsliding The great Perplexity and Distress of a Penitent Sinner represented as a Caution against returning to Folly. p. 196 XXVII The necessity of Christian Resolution to Vpright
Body an Hair a Feather a Vapour a Breath hath done it and when the Apostle James asks the Question What is your Life He answers It is even a Vapour that appeareth a little while and then vanisheth away VI. Of the Redemption of Time how precious and valuable a Treasure it is and will be thought to be when 't is too late IS the Life of Man so short and fleeting our Days on Earth so few and so uncertain how careful should I be to manage every Hour endeavouring to match the Swiftness of Time by my celerity and diligence to improve it I can have no Business of greater or of equal Moment to mind than to secure the Happiness of my Soul in another World. And shall I lavish my Time and lose my Pains about things unnecessary What will all other Business signifie in the end if this be neglected Is there any Interest more weighty that calleth me from such work Is there any thing else that so well deserves my Time That may be put into the Scales or weighed in a balance against this Shall Eternity which comprehends all Time have the least share of my Time allotted for its concernments How little a part of my Time hath been hitherto employed in such work How reasonable how necessary is it to redeem the little Inch of Time that yet remains but hastens to a Period For as there is no Covenant to be made with Death so no Agreement for the Arrest and Stay of Time it keeps its pace whether I redeem and use it well or not The greatest part of our Life is designedly employed to avoid Death we eat and drink and sleep and labour and rest that we may not die and yet even by these we hasten to Death Every Breath every Pulse every Word leaves one less of the number which God hath appointed me and carries away some Sands of the Glass of Time and yet how little care is taken to employ it well We seldom value it till we can no longer use it to any advantage and though we know it can neither be retarded in its motion or recalled when past yet of nothing are we more prodigal Yea how many complain of it as a Burden and know not what to do with their Time are exceedingly at a loss wherein to employ it what to do to be rid of it But alas how near is that Change when they shall think nothing too dear to purchase some few Grains of that Sand which now seem too many while they are passing through their Hour-glass How sad will be the review of our lost and ill-spent Time How different an Opinion of its Value shall we have on a sick-Bed or when our Time and Hope is gone How many Weeks and Days and Hours O my Soul have I trifled away in Sloth and Idleness in foolish Mirth and hurtful Company in vain Thoughts and impertinent Discourse in excess of Sleep and needless Pastimes Feastings inordinate Care to adorn the Body or gratifie the sensual Appetite All that which is past is irrecoverable and the little remainder flies apace How quickly will it be gone How soon how suddenly may an unexpected Stroke of Death conclude it And yet this is all the opportunity I shall ever have to make my Peace with God and prepare for the everlasting World. Did we consider it as we ought we should not foolishly throw away so much of it in Trifles and things impertinent or what is worse How much more might we redeem than commonly we do To how much better purpose might we husband it How much more work might we do were we never idle or did not loyter We might walk far did we not often stand still or go out of our way We see it plainly by the great and excellent Effects of some few mens Industry in every Age. Art hath found mean to set Spies and Watches as it were on the Sun that he cannot look out but they take hold of his Shadow and force it to tell how far he is gone that day and yet while we are curious in making Time give a just account of it self to us how little do we consider the account of our Time which we must shortly give to God Oh that such a Thought might effectually persuade me to redeem it that I may not tarry till the end of Time to know the worth of it Let me not undervalue it while t is given me to be used that I may not eternally regret my Folly when Time shall be no more God calls me to Diligence and Labour the Work he calls me to is excellent and the Reward glorious to know and love and serve and obey him in order to eternal Life and shall I yet be idle Is this the Use and End of all my Time And do I know it and believe it Do I indeed believe it and yet delay and loyter and waste my precious Hours in vanity Am I going into Eternity and entring into another World and know that I must be in Heaven or Hell for ever and have I Time to throw away Am I fit to die and to appear before my Judge or am I not Am I made meet for Heaven by pardoning Mercy and sanctifying Grace Have I the Earnest of the Spirit to witness and assure me of it Is my Interest in the Promise of Eternal Life as firm and my Evidence of it as clear as it may be made Am I not conscious to my self that much of this necessary Work is yet to be done And shall such an unprepared Soul as mine be careless and indifferent how I spend my Time VII Of the Ordinances of Heaven Day and Night Summer and Winter Seed Time and Harvest their order and succession establisht by God is the effect of Infinite Wisdom and Goodness What they may teach us WHen I consider the beginning of another Year I can hardly avoid reflecting of its several parts Summer and Winter Spring and Fall Day and Night and their alternate Turns This calls me to observe and admire his Eternal Power and Godhead Wisdom and Truth who is the Great Author of this admirable variety Who hath fixed the Earth whith his Foot and hanged it on nothing and setled the Luminaries of Heaven for Excellent Ends The Sun to Rule by day and the Moon by Night thereby to distinguish Times and Seasons to seperate Day and Night Winter and Summer and consult the convenience of Man and Beast by their due succession The Day is thine the Night also is thine thou makest Summer and Winter How wonderful is their Order Beauty and constant course that when the Sun withdraws and the shadows of the Evening cover the Earth with darkness to conclude the Day the Moon and Stars supply the place of the absent Sun during the Night and that tho they differ in length yet gradually lessen till they are both equal at the years end and have made the same Circuit How excellent a work of God is
more than such distant Calamities will affright Let me therefore endeavour to impress the consideration of Eternity as at hand more deeply on my Heart that I may walk and live discourse and pray and demean my self in every thing as near an unchangeable State. Am I not convinced that this is certain from the nature and operations of my Soul from the reflections of Conscience from the Righteousness of God in his Government of the World from the present unequal distributions of Good and Evil by his Providence and from the plain and frequent assertions of his Revealed Will I have nothing to object nothing to reply but I find a necessity of inculcating and urging the consideration of it in order to its influence I find it needful to reflect often how near I am to such an endless State that in one Instant by Death I enter upon it and that this Instant may be as near me as my next Thought That the holy Scripture describes the two contrary Conditions after death and every Man and Woman in the World shall share in one of them as both Everlasting the one by Eternal Life Eternal Glory an incorruptible Crown that fadeth not away an incorruptible Inheritance an House Eternal in the Heavens c. the other by unquenchable Fire a Prison whence no escape Eternal Damnation Everlasting Burning everlasting Punishment everlasting Destruction a Worm that never dies wrath that is ever to come blackness of darkness for ever ever c. Think O my Soul that in one of these two contrary States I must abide for ever In endless Joy or Sorrow Blessed in the Presence of God or for ever banished from it And whoever thou art that readest this apply it seriously to thy self 't is thine own case Yea I tell thee from God that Holiness of Heart and Life is absolutely necessary to the former and that without it thou shalt never see his Face but be punished with Everlasting Destruction from the Presence of his Glory Is this an unquestionable Truth O let me consider it till I feel the Power and Efficacy of so important a Principle let the Impression be deep and lasting let it pierce and enter into my very Soul to cool the heats of Lust to quench sensual and earthly desires and to mortifie all inordinate affections to this World and fix my resolutions to mind and seek Eternal Life with all my Heart These are not difficult and perplexed Niceties which wise and holy Men differ and disagree about They are not Metaphisical Subtleties which few can understand but the express Word of God and the daily dictates of my own Reason and Conscience which all Christians and almost all Men in their Wits except in an hour of great Temptation confess and own or whether they will or no are forced to expect and fear if they are not in a condition to consider them with a joyful Hope Lord cure the unbelieving doubts concerning these Great things which notwithstanding the plainest Evidence the Devil may at any time suggest let a confirmed Faith be the Reality of what is thus future that my Soul may be influenc'd by them as it is wont to be by things present Let it be the Substance of things hoped for and the Evidence of things unseen and as yet at a distance as if the Day of Judgment were already come and there were no intermediate Time to pass between this and that O Eternity Eternity the more I consider it the more unfathomable still I find it Vnchangeable Blessedness or remediless endless Torments An Eternal blissful Day or everlasting Horror Darkness and Despair Life or Death Glory or Destruction to last as long as the immutable Living God! None of the Patriarchs who lived longest arrived to the period of a Thousand years which in comparison of God's Everlastingness is set forth but as one day But strictly considered millions of Years and Ages have no proportion with it because no multiplication of them will amount to Eternity Whereas one hour hath some proportion to an hundred thousand years Because a certain number of Hours will amount to so many years But no number of Years or Ages never so often multiplied will make up Eternity as no substraction of Millions of Years will lessen it and entire Eternity will be still to come and will ever be to come When innumerable myriads of years are past Eternity shall then seem but to begin because when as many more are over it shall be as far from an end Oh that the thoughts of Eternity may be powerful and prevailing above all others that I may Judge of every thing by its relation to it by its influence upon it Chuse now my Soul whether Everlasting Joys or Miseries shall be thy Portion but consider well that thine Eternity is concerned in thy present choice and that this choice must be pursued with stedfastness and constancy as long as I live And what are a few years to prepare for an Eternal State were we obliged to spend several hundred years in serious humble preparation for it with the greatest strictness and severity of Life during all that Time it were infinitely less than to spend an hour or two in preparing for the greatest Dignity and Imploy on Earth which can be enjoyed but for a few years at longest For to these an hour hath some proportion but an hundred or thousand years have none with an Everlasting Duration Therefore to consider how many years of toyl and pains and diligence many bestow on the probable prospect of some Temporal Good should reprove and shame my negligence and remisness in providing for Eternity XIX The Punishments of the Damned considered as Intolerable and Everlasting and as unquestionably Certain What the Reflection upon Hell-Torments may and ought to teach us THE Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom the entrance into the way of Life as it is ordinarily one of the first means to awaken the Soul to a serious concern for Eternity Let me therefore first consider the Endless Punishment of the wicked in the other World before I enter upon the ravishing Prospect of the Blessedness of Heaven promised to the Righteous And with what serious trembling should I think of the Terrors of an Everlasting Destruction which our Lord shall be revealed from Heaven to render to All who know not God and obey not the Gospel When the wicked shall go away into Everlasting Punishment as the Righteous into Life Eternal The dreadfulness of that Punishment the endless Duration of it joyned to the consideration of its unquestionable Certainty deserves the most attentive Thoughts of every Man who loves his Soul and would manifest he doth so by securing his greatest Interest The description of that Misery under insupportable and Eternal Torments demands more than a transient view because no words can sufficiently express the Horror of that State. What is it O my Soul to be banished from the Blessed Sight and presence
which they enjoyed first in faith and hope and afterwards in fruition Yea they passed through the dark valley and so must we Their Earthly tabernacle was dissolved and so must ours be We must expect to go the same way to Rest and Glory and wait Gods Time for our admission We must finish first the work which God hath for us to do and suffer and then all Tears shall be wiped from our eyes we shall grieve no more we shall sin no more but be as the Angels in Heaven or as the Spirits of the Just made Perfect XIII What Influence the consideration of Eternity would have upon our Hearts and Lives if soundly believed and considered Especially if the supposition of Dying this year be annexed to it WIth what Humility Mortification and Self-denial what Seriousness Watchfulness and resolved Constancy would every Christian live on Earth did he act alwaies under the influence and power of a confirmed Faith concerning the Life to come We should not then grudge at a little labor or boggle at a few difficulties in our way What tho' I meet with injuries and affronts hadships and inconveniencies Being now in a Foreign Country and every day I live one daies journey nearer my Eternal Home Shall I not patiently bear momentany Sorrows while I believe I am hastening to Eternal Joys Did I look more to the Everlasting World should I not make the pleasing of God in order to my Eternal welfare the great business of my Life Should I not serve the Lord with more fervency of Spirit and be better fortified against the fears of man who can but hurt and kill the Body nor that neither without the permission of God Should I not order all my affairs answer all Temptations mortifie inward Lusts live in the Exercise of Grace and in circumspect persevering Obedience in order to it Should I not watch more over my Heart and Lips and Ways be more diligent to trim my Lamps more crucified to this world more careful to call my self frequently to an account and renew my Repentance Would not my converse be more useful and edifying my discourses more savory and full of Religion my Prayers to God more humble and earnest my Charity to men more unfeigned and extensive and my preparations every way more suitable to such a Faith and to such apprehensions of an Everlasting State Could we carry the thoughts of Eternity about with us every day and often admit them in our civil and secular affairs did we repeat it frequently to our selves at least every Morning as soon as we are awake that we are near Eternity this grain of Incense would perfume the whole Temple and be an Antidote against inward Lust and impure Thoughts against the Infection and defilement of bad Company and the snares of worldly Business and do much to prevent vain and sensual actions and to cure vain affections Did we believe it and believe it near should we not take as much pains to secure Eternal Life as we see Men do to get Riches Should we not use the same diligence care and circumspection the same prudent foresight watchfulness and perseverance to prevent Everlasting destruction as others do to provide against Poverty and to live in Plenty a little while on Earth Should we not rejoyce as much in the promise and hopes of it as others do in the prospect and expectation of some Earthly Advantage Lord I confess and bewail the weakness of my Faith. How often have I concluded and said that Heaven alone is the place of Happiness and yet my carnal Heart is too much affected with Earthly Things How often have I resolved upon the conviction of the certainty of the Eternal World to mind this less and to affect and seek it no more as I have done and yet my foolish Heart is hankering after it still O crucifie my affections to things below and let the believing Thoughts of the next Life render me victorious over all the Temptations of this Pardon and cure the staggering trembling Thoughts of an unbelieving Heart by greater measures of a lively Faith. That my desires may be strong and urgent and my diligence and stedfastness in the way of Truth be some way correspondent to this important Article Let me live only for Eternity hope for nothing but Eternity design and intend nothing as my chief end but Eternity and seek and mind nothing in comparison with Eternity Did we believe it how would every thing in this World be lookt upon as eligible or fit to be refused as it is like to be an help or an hindrance with reference to Eternity we should then endeavour to do nothing unbecoming such an Expectation Considering this World as our Passage and the invisible future World as our abiding Country where we are to dwell for ever whatever we meet with here whether sweet or bitter easy or troublesome pleasing or ungrateful we should not much matter but as it relates to hereafter And were I certain I should have no longer time of Trial in order to this Eternal State than this one year which is now begun if a Messenger from God should convincingly assure me of it what would I not do to prepare for Death and secure the interests of Eternity With what remorse and deep Repentance should I reflect on the Follies of my past Life With what importunate cries should I beg Forgiveness How patiently should I bear Calamity for so short a time How little should I value the favours or frowns of Men How circumspect to improve every Season of doing and receiving good How careful to avoid Temptation and how resolute in resisting it Did I verily believe I had no longer time to live on Earth than this one Year at most how insipid would be the offer of carnal Mirth vain Pastime sensual Diversions idle Company c. how should I value every Hour every inch of my little Time under the apprehension that Eternity is at hand O my Soul shall I make no provision against the possiblity of such a case Is not my change as certain as if it were this year as if it were to Morrow tho' I am not certain it is so near nor certain but it may be Let me then seek first the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness let me fix it well and make it clear that I have secured my great Concern and am ready for a sudden summons XIV How a Good Man may improve and encourage himself under the Supposition of dying this Year even in the most uneasy and undesirable Circumstances I May dye this Year then all my Cares and Fears if I am Rich all my Sorrows and calamities as to this World if I am Poor will die too I may dye this Year then I shall have no more Enemies no more Sickness and which is infinitely better I shall Sin no more I must shortly die it may be this Year but there is no other way to come to a blessed Life
a Change do we think it would work upon us But if we will nor hear Moses and the Prophets Christ and his Apostles neither should we believe tho one came from the Dead XX. The Eternal Blessedness of HEAVEN considered as the Perfection of Holiness to quicken our desires and endeavours after greater Meetness to possess it DOth one year after another hasten me to the end of Time And doth the Blessedness of Eternity depend on the Communications I now receive from God On the Preparations I now make and the Meetness I can now attain for Eternal Felicity in the Presence of my God and Saviour O with what Intenseness of mind should I now prosecute that glorious Object with what unwearied diligence should I run the race that is set before me lest I fall short of the Incorruptible Crown of Life How should every thing be undervalued and rejected that would divert retard or hinder me from pursuing this end Lord be not a stranger to my Soul in this distant Wilderness state Let me see more of thy Light be transform'd more into thine Image experience more of thy Love feel more of thy vital Presence and quickening Spirit let the Divine Life in my Soul be more powerful and the Characters of thy Likeness be more legibly stampt upon it by the daily exercise of Faith and Hope and holy Affections carry me through this World till my Pilgrim state be over and thou hast brought me to perfect Everlasting Holiness And let the believing fore-thoughts of it till all the Powers of my Soul with Joy and Wonder Desire and Love Give me Lord to think a right of the Heavenly Glory as a confirmed State of positive perfect Holiness of heavenly Light Love Liberty and Joy with the satisfying Vision of God in the Face of Christ and his impressed Likeness dwelling for ever in the direct and steady view of his transforming Glory with compleat conformity of the Soul to Eternal Goodness Truth and Love as its Perfection esteeming nothing desiring nothing but that God and Christ may be glorified with an intire Subjection to his Will adherence to him Rest and Confidence in him swallowed up in the Love Admiration and Praise of God and our Lord Jesus living in joyful repeated Acts of Subjection Adoration and acknowledg'd Dependance ravisht to behold the Glory of God in the Face of Christ to see his blessed Image perfect in every one of the Saints c. When all the present Blindness of our Minds the Errors of our Judgment the Perversness of our Will the Disorder and Rebellion of our Passions the remaining Aversation from God and Disaffection to him which in this World we complain of shall all be done away The Flesh shall no more Lust against the Spirit or the Law in our Members against the Law of our Minds but an everlasting Tranquility and holy Peace take place a Peace which passeth all understanding without any outward Molestation or inward cause of Disquiet Our corrupted Nature shall no more cast forth Mire and Dirt as now we shall have no more vain or wicked Thoughts no more sinful Fears or foolish Hopes unbecoming Heats unruly Desires sensual Inclinations earthly Affections feeble slothful spiritless Duties dead and heartless Prayers cold Thanksgivings c. but as we shall then know God without Error and see our Lord Jesus face to face so we shall love him without reserve more than now we can think and serve him without Dulness and Distraction and Praise him without Weariness the spiritual Actings of our Souls shall have no allay of Dross And thus shall we be with him and admire and injoy him without end Thus when Death is swallowed up in victory and what was imperfect is done away and what was Corruptible and Mortal hath put on Immortality God in Christ shall be All in All And when it is truly and perfectly so Then it is Heaven The blessedness whereof is unconceivable A Blessed Person is not exprest in the singular Number by the Hebrews but in the abstract and in the Plural Beatitudes instead of Blessed because the Blessings are as many and great as they have Powers and Capacities to partake of Blessedness so will it be in Heaven A Word tho commonly used as little understood as Holiness which is one of the greatest Mysteries in the World. But will hereafter be fully and delightfully understood by the Blessed Saints as the Malignity and intrinsick Evil of Sin shall be by the damned Spirits Oh that I might now feel more of this Heavenly Life begun and carried on in my Soul by a farther Participation of his holy Image and Conformity to his Will by more vital Effects of his indwelling Spirit in my Soul forming it to be a Temple to himself for his own delightful Residence that forgetting that which I have received I may still be Covetous and desirous of more forgetting what I have attain'd I may press on with an holy Eagerness and Fervency towards the Mark When I seriously examine my own heart had I nothing else to prove the weakness of my Grace and the sinful remainders of Unbelief but the low desires and few comfortable Thoughts the seldom joyful prospect of this Blessed State how sad an Evidence were it of my low attainments that I breathe with no more Impatience after that Blessed Holy Rest in the injoyment of God and Christ and labour no more in preparing for it When we profess to believe that all the Desires of our Souls shall be fix'd on Him and filled with Him as our Infinite and Supreme Good and all the Expectations of Faith and Hope swallowed up in endless Admiration Gratitude and Joy being fully satisfied and at Rest in the Presence and Vision of God without the least Inclination or Desire of Change. And by consequence There will be no need of Novelty as now to give a relish to our Happiness All Happiness in this World is by comparing a Man's present Condition with his past or with that of some Inferiors But the Intrinsick Good Felicity and Joy of Heaven will need no such Foil to set it off no such Comparison to make it prized The Blessed Spirits will never lose the lively Sense of that low and miserable Condition from which they were raised to so great a Glory and so will ever equally rejoyce in the Happiness of their Translation and wonderful Change. And what was at first delightful will for ever be so and not be disdain'd or lessen'd by a continuance as it happens in this World from the Emptiness Shallowness and Vanity of the Creature An Affectation of Variety and desire of Change proceeding always from a Sense of Want. But Holy Souls shall never be weary of seeing loving and injoying God his blessed Presence will afford us undecaying and endless Satisfaction Pleasure never to be interrupted or abated and never to cease The blessed Object is absolutely Infinite and so will be always new to a finite understanding and
this forget my own Experience and run from God and Heaven to imbrace or seek a perishing Toy Shall I hide my self with Saul among the Stuff and Lumber of this World when God is calling me to a Glorious Crown Art thou O my Soul a King's Son an Heir of Heaven an expectant of such great Felicity and yet stoop so low Hope for Heaven and yet grasp this Earth and hug the vain Appearances of earthly Good Hope to be like to God and oh how Glorious an Hope is that to partake of his Image and live Eternally with him and yet be sollicitous anxious and disquieted about Honour and Money and a Temporal Interest And mightily concerned about the momentany Gratifications of the Flesh and the Injoyments of this World Art thou a Pilgrim and Stranger here and travelling home to the Heavenly Country and yet eager and passionate about earthly Things Should an Heart that is set upon Heaven or may be so and ought to be so should it burn with such Kitchin such common Fire And neglect the unconceivable Riches and Pleasures and immortal Honours of the other Life and the dawnings of that Glory upon my Soul by the foretasts of it in this How great is the disproportion between the Heavens and the Earth How vast the Circumference of the one and how small a Point the other How many thousand Miles doth the Sun travel in the Heavens while it passeth but one Inch upon a Dial Oh that my Affections were carried to heavenly Things with a swiftness somewhat answerable to the glorious Object And let their motion to earthly Things be rather slow and insensible like that of the Sun on a Dial. Since I profess to believe and wait for the heavenly Glory should I not live as seeking such things as expecting such a Glory And are careless and indifferent Thoughts sleepy heartless Prayers faint and weak Endeavours becoming in such a case Shall I not mend my Pace and double my Diligence in my preparatory Work When I can believingly foresee the blessed Recompence waiting for that Everlasting Light of the Sun of Righteousness which no Eclipse shall ever darken or obscure for that Eternal Glorious Day which shall never be closed with an Evening When I shall see the Face of God in Christ and be like him participate more of his Image rest in his Love and dwell for ever in the Light of his Countenance according to the Prayer and Promise of my Blessed Saviour And ought not such a prospect to sweeten the Bitterness of all our intermediate Sufferings We are now oftentimes in Heaviness and Sorrow but Eternity will be enough for an interrupted Joy. When we shall exchange all our Troubles for everlasting Rest our Prisons for perfect Liberty our Poverty for the Riches of God Darkness for Light discord for Love Deformity for Beauty our Weaknesses and present Languishings for Strength and Vigor Folly for Wisdom Disgrace for Glory Sickness and Pain for eternal Ease and Health the Animal for the Angelical Life Imperfection and Pollution for consummate Holiness our Sighs and Tears and Sorrows and Complaints for triumphant Everlasting Praise our Losses Affronts Disappointments Perplexities Fears Groans and Death for Crowns and Scepters Hymns and Hallelujahs Light and Life and Bliss unutterable and such great things as are fit for us to hope but too great to be now particularly understood and talkt of while we know but in part and see through a Glass darkly yea it seems as if it were not lawful to utter 'em 2 Cor. 12.4 and now they cannot be exprest or fully known for Eye hath not seen or Ear heard or can it enter into the Heart of man to conceive that prepared Glory XXI A devout Meditation upon the 73. Psalm 25. Whom have I in Heaven but thee And there is none upon Earth that I desire besides thee WHat is there in Heaven or in Earth O Lord but thy Presence to be valued loved desired chosen sought or delighted in There is nothing in either World desirable without Thee nothing certainly above Thee nothing in Comparison with Thee In Thee alone I trust on Thee I depend in Thee I repose my Confidence and Hope from Thee I expect all my Felicity and Salvation What ever I can lose yet with the continuance of thy Favour which is my Life I have still Enough With that I am Rich without it I am Poor and Miserable And if I want the Love of God all that Heaven and Earth can give besides will not make me Happy In Thee therefore I would terminate all my Affections all my Devotions There is nothing of Heaven to be had on Earth but in thy Favour Image and Love and the reviving Sense of it And all the Heaven I expect hereafter 't is in the more full and immediate Communications of these in thy blessed Presence I can desire nothing upon Earth I can injoy nothing in Heaven but Thee both here and there thou art and shalt ever be my all-sufficient satisfactory Portion my Everlasting All None else can be the Portion of my Soul. Nothing else can fill up all its Wants answer all its Cravings be suited to all its Capacities appease and charm all its restless Motions and give complacence to all its Desires and be the proper Object of all its Affections What is there else can justly claim my Love or pretend to my supreme Affection in comparison with God Thou art alone the proper Center of it Thine infinite and incomparable Excellencies who art Love it self deserve my choicest Love and thy numberless Mercies and Benefits challenge it as a just Debt as a piece of Homage due from all and of special Gratitude also from me Oh that I could love thee above all things who alone art worthy of all my Love O that Divine Love might be the ruling Principle within me to inspire all my Thoughts to regulate all my desires to set all the Powers of my Soul on Work O that it might take the full Possession of my Heart and so animate and order all my Actions to please him whom my Soul loveth If as yet I cannot say with thine Apostle Lord thou that knowest all things thou knowest that I Love thee Yet I can say Lord thou knowest that I would Love thee Thou hast provided for our Happiness by that first and great Command of loving thee with all our Hearts and Souls and Strength But alas how backward is my sluggish carnal Heart to this delightful Exercise Tho I have so oft been told that God is Love and that he that dwelleth in Love dwelleth in God and God in him O shed abroad thy Love into my Soul that I may feel the vital Power and Influence of it and live continually in the Love of God and that nothing may ever be able to separate me from it Whom have I in Heaven or Earth to Hope in but Thee I expect more from Creatures than they can or will perform but God
can do for me more abundantly than I can ask or think exceed my largest thoughts out-strip my highest Expectations And no man was ever disappointed who made Thee his Hope When I meet with Crosses and Wrongs Unfaithfulness Contempt Hatred and Persecution from Men I need not wonder I was never told by God it would be otherwise here Did I look for less from Creatures and expect more from God Did I reckon this World to be a state of Trial and not a place of Rest and Satisfaction My Faith and my Desires would be stronger with respect to God and Heaven and temporal Calamities and Disappointments less afflictive and vexatious And what is there O Lord in Heaven or in Earth my Soul can desire besides Thee Is there any thing desirable but as it is thine of thee and from thee And bears some Impression of thine Excellence or brings some Intimation of thy Love And what can I reasonably desire what that is worth desiring or having but thou art able to be and do and give In whom or what shall I Rejoyce but in Thee O Lord shall I solace my self in transitory Goods that slip between my Fingers and perish in the Using or relish carnal Joys which pollute and debase the Soul When I may and ought to Rejoyce in Thee at all Times as the only Source of perfect Everlasting Joy. Let me then stir up my drooping desponding unbelieving Heart to rejoyce in God who takes Pleasure in the chearful Service and Obedience of his Children who delighteth in those who delight in him Is not * Vid. Mr. Howe Of Delighting in God. Delighting in God a most essential vital part of Religion Should it not be my constant Frame Hath not God sufficiently provided that it may be so Can I say and believe that God is the Portion of my Soul that he is my God and I hope to live with him for ever and not Rejoyce Or can I consider the Grace of the new Covenant the matchless Love of Christ and the precious Promises of the Gospel and not see reason to Rejoyce Yea doth my Soul love God and endeavour to please him and is not the very Act and Exercise of holy Love mixt with unspeakable sweetness Whom is there in Heaven or in Earth or Hell that I ought to Fear but Thee Who hast a negative Voice in all the Designs of Men and Devils an hook in their Nostrils a Bridle in their Mouths to make them fulfil thy Pleasure and in every thing accomplish thy Soveraign Decree Is there any other in whom I may repose my Trust but in Thee O Lord the Rock of Ages The might of thy Power the unsearchableness of thy Wisdom the righteousness of thy Nature the stability of thy Truth the riches of thy Grace and the immutability of thy Promise are a sure foundation for my Soul to trust to and rely upon Thy word stands firm for ever and the Truth of thine ability and readiness to help in every time of need endures the same throughout all Generations At all times and in all places my soul may trust in thee and find relief And they who know thy name will do so for in the Lord Jehovah is Everlasting Kindness and Strength To answer all my doubts to supply all my wants to fill all my desires May not God take it unkindly that I trust him no more And is it not a criminal unkindness that I give him not the glory of all these Excellent Attributes which are the grounds of Trust by a constant steady intire dependance on him for all that I need I have none in Heaven but Thee O Lord as the object of my Invocation and Worship Let other Christians have recourse to new Mediators and call upon other Gods I will make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only And ask of thee whatsoever I need for the sake of thy Christ my only adorable Mediator Him thou hearest alway with him thou art always well pleased I honour the holy Angels as glorious Attendants about thy Throne and bless thee for them as Ministring Spirits for the good of thy Servants but I dare not invoke or worship 'em because they are Fellow Servants On the same account I honour the memory of Departed Saints but neither invoke them or pay them religious worship That Glory thou wilt not give unto another I have no precept in Holy Scripture to direct no promise to encourage no Example to authorize the invocation of any other but Thee in whom I believe and trust Rom. 10.14 Having such a God in Heaven what can I need on Earth His Eyes behold me his Wing is over me his Hand can supply me his Grace provide for me I can want nothing that is Good unlese I should need somewhat which God the infinitely Blessed and Allsufficient God cannot bestow If thou art the Portion of my Soul all mine Enemies cannot make me miserable unless they can void Heaven of the presence of God hinder his care bind up his hand or obstruct his Love. But tho my Enemies cannot I fear my Sins may They alone can separate between God and my Soul. And considering the multitude and aggravations of them and thine unspotted Holiness and Justice I should have too much reason to fear and tremble yea and utterly despair If I had none in Heaven but Thee But thy word assures me that I have a Mediator there a faithful and a compassionate High Priest Jesus Christ the Righteous whom thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins Who lives for ever in Heaven to make Intercession till he hath brought me there to behold his Glory and partake of it That Glory O Lord thou hast reserved for Heaven in this world we only desire believe and hope to injoy it Whom have I in Heaven That is the place of Fruition What can I desire upon Earth This world is the place of Desires as the other of full Injoyment Most of that which men call Injoyment in this Life consists but in Desire Desire or Lust is all that is in the wicked world 1 John 2. c. 13. the Riches of a Covetous worldling makes him desire more and the great mystery of Intemperance is to create and increase desires and Desires of another kind are the portion of good men in this world O that I could breathe after a state of perfect Fruition in Heaven with more importunate desires Who will give me to be in Heaven with Thee On Earth I desire nothing So one version Let me O my Soul think of Heaven as such a place or state of blessed Injoyment speak of it seek it long for it prepare for it as such And let Jesus Christ who is the desire of all Nations through whom all Divine Communications are made to fallen Sinners be the great object of my present desires and love Let me desire nothing but as in him and for him that believing
an indefinite hereafter Do I not desire to know the worst while a remedy may be found Or am I content to dye through an unwillingness to discover that I am Sick The question to be resolved is of infinite weight Shall I not spend a few hours to know what will become of me for ever An error is more than possible 't is easy to mistake and the hazard of doing so is unspeakably great How many thousands perish eternally even under the Light of the Gospel who never suspected their Danger How ordinary how common a thing is it for Men to be thus deceived how successful is the Devil in this stratagem against the Souls of Men Is it not then a most criminal stupidity to be contentedly ignorant and unresolved whether I am reconciled to God or no whether I am led by the Flesh or the Spirit whether I am in the broad or narrow way which lead to such contrary ends that is whether if I die in this condition I shall be saved or perish Can such an enquiry be frivolous or indifferent Is the subject of it so contemptible or my concern in it so small that it merits not to be attentively considered Shall I never ask my Soul till I am leaving this World the unfittest time of all to begin so important an Affair what am I to whom do I belong whose Image do I bear how have I lived and what do I do what do I love most what do I most constantly desire and choose and seek how doth the Pulse of my Soul beat is it quickest towards God or towards the World whither am I going what will be the final upshot and issue of my present course is it Heaven or Hell I must be translated to by dying what security have I got for Eternal Life what provisions have I made what foundation have I laid How strangely infatuated are most men who talk of an Everlasting Life as an Article of their Creed and say they count upon it that they must dwell in Happiness or Misery for ever and seldom or never bethink themselves in good earnest and for any time with a setled composed exercise of thoughts which of these Two is like to be their Lot. Or if they begin to search and try themselves they come to no Conclusion or conclude too hastily they pluck off the Plaister as soon as it begins to smart they are either frighted with the horrid prospect of past Crimes or having escap'd the grosser Pollutions of the World judge too favourably of their own ease They commonly do the work but by halves and so go from the Glass and forget what manner of persons they were Let me therefore O my Soul sequester my self from the World to commune with my own heart to reflect upon my past life and look into my present state to recollect and review the most considerable passages of my course and time hitherto O how neglected and disused a Practice is this which doth challenge and require our principal and most serious Concerns about it And how many begin it and are discouraged and leave off without reaching the end of such an Enquiry How much wiser in this respect are the Children of this World in their Generation than the Children of Light Who is so exact in his Accompts between God and his own Soul as Trades-men in their Dealings with one another Who is at the pains to write down his Sins and his Mercies the grounds of his Fear and the encouragements of his Hope or keeps a Journal and Diary of his Spiritual State Who doth at set times once a Month or once a Quarter or even once a Year take a just view of Himself his Heart and Life and State as a Christian that he may see what he hath received and done what he owes and what he may expect that he may know whether he thrive or decay whether he increase or decrease whether he go backward or forward wherher he be Richer or Poorer this year than the last And is it not a symptom that you are declining when you love not to examine your Accounts Is there not ground of jealousie and suspicion that you are behind hand because you are loath to inquire whether you are or no and unwilling to know the worst of your Condition Nevertheless without such Enquiries and bringing the matter to a Determination at what uncertainties must we live and how unconceivable an hazard do all Hypocrites and unrenewed Sinners run And how reasonable how necessary is it that we should know and in order to it prove our selves We must therefore bestow Time and serious Diligence about it that we may examine matters to the bottom and come to some Result so that we may form a right Judgment concerning our own case He that would do it to good purpose must endeavour to understand clearly the terms of the Covenant on God's part and on ours and take care not to Judge of himself by mistaken rules by a false Standard that God will not justifie or by any such characters as will not conclude But most men are unwilling to bring themselves to a Trial or to let Conscience deal plainly and faithfully with them They are stupidly secure and see not the necessity of this duty Or do not suspect themselves They presume they need not be at that Trouble or are so taken up with the World that they cannot find time and leasure for it And many men dare not bring their Hearts and Ways to a Trial. There is commonly some secret Lust indulg'd which they are loath to let go But most go on in sin and perish Eternally because they think there is no danger of perishing and never Repent and make their Peace with God because they fancy and presume 't is done already Therefore let me beg of thee whoever thou art who readest this to put the case to thy self seriously to admit the doubt whether you are not mistaken make the supposition that you have not hitherto sufficiently considered the State of your Soul. You are confident that all is well and thereupon are unwilling to examine farther but for that very reason you ought to question whether it be so or not Do but ask your selves seriously what is the ground of your good Opinion concerning your self For what reason can you thus conclude Did you ever seriously lay to heart the Characters and Description which the Scriptures give of those whom Christ will own at the last day and of such whom he will reject and reprobate With unfeigned application to your own case have you therewith prov'd your selves and come to a setled Judgment after a deliberate Enquiry And was the Conclusion to your Comfort and Joy If so what influence hath it since had upon your Heart and Life Hath it promoted Purity Thankfulness Heavenly-mindedness Contempt of this World and stronger Desires after the Image Love and Presence of God and the Glory of Christ Moreover consider Is not this