her Husband is gone for a few days to hunt she is very ill but that all things in her House are at your service Elen. To morrow I 'll wait on her Enter Colonel Peregrine Cam. Oh my dear Friend here 's the lovely Prize which so well deserves the Pains I have taken Col. A charming Lady My Lord you are a happy man Cam. How goes your affair and what 's become of the obliging Friar Col. Nay Heaven knows the Story is too long to tell only this I found the old Lord generous and resolve to attempt his Wife no more Cam. I 'm glad on 't in your Age you never will repent an uncommitted Sin Elen. That Governorâ—s Lady seemâ—d a pretty good-humour'd Creature therefore my Tyrant let me see her but once Enter Friar Andrew his Clothes torn and cover'd with Dirâ— aâ—d his Face scratch'd Cam. Who have we here Oh Heavens Father Andrew Col. What! my Hector thus usâ—d Hidew. What has befaln thee oh thou weak Brother Fri. angrily What has befaln me you may behold what has befaâ—n me Dirt Wounds and Disgrace The Ladies may live in Ratâ— Traps or dye o' the Pips for Father Andrew's Assistance again Hidew. Look forward Undertaker and wretched Performer there the Lady stands deliver'd by me Elen. My Lord is not this the Friar brought your first Leâ—ter after I was married whom the Marquess caught and abus'd Cam. The same Madam Hidew. I said he had unfortunate lines but he wou'd take no warning Elen. Not to encourage any thing that 's ill but because you have suffer'd in my Cause there 's a Cordial will revive the Heart and wash out all Stains Gives him a Purse of Gold Col. For me you have suffer'd too and I beg you wou'd accept of this Gives him more Fri. Spite of Vows in this Necessity there 's no refusing such a Favor Cam. Come Father cheer up your self have recourse to your old Friend Malaga I 'll provide for ye that you shall go throâ— no more Dangers Fri. By St. Dominick I had not need for I have almost lost my Life in this Enter a Servant Serv. Sir the Governor of Barcellona is come to wait on ye Cam. Gods me in Father you wou'd not see him I suppose Fri. See him I 'd sooner see the Devil Well I 'll get a pretty Wench to wash me without and good store of Malaga within and try to forget past Sorrows Exit Enter Governor and his Lady Arm in Arm. Gov. My Lord your Servant Cam. Yours in all Obedience Gov. aside Yonder he standsâ— the Ogling Rogue I thought so My Lord Camillus before I talk to you pray give me leave for some few words with that Gentleman Cam. With all my Heart Gov. Sir Col. My Lord Gov. Nay o' th' t'other side if you please Now Tittup speak what you promis'd Lady Colonel Peregrine my Lord has been so good to forgive me what is past and I desire for the future as you are a Gentleman you wou'd after this night never see me more Col. Madam I obey Gov. And d' ye hear if ye prove a Man of Honour about Threescore Years hence I may leave ye Tittup for a Legacy and abundance of Wealth a World of Wealth by the Honour of Spain Nay 't is worth staying for Col. Threescore years hence quotha Gov. Now my Lord Camillus to you and the Lady They go aside Hidew. I wish we had some Musick since our Success I can't keep my Heels on the Ground Col. If the Company agree to it I can procure my Lord Ambassador's and send for my own Hidew. I 'll motion it presently Elen. I freely submit and will retire to what Monastery you appoint I hope my future Conduct will satisfie the World of my Innocency Cam. And mine of my Faith and Constancy Col. What say ye now to Musick and Dancing Hidewell â—ongs Cam. With all my Soul this is a Jubilee which I 'll keep whilst I 've life Elen. But are we secure Gov. Fear not Madam my Guards surround the House and am not I here They all sit Songs and Dances Them over the Company comes forward Cam. Greatness was the Attendant of my Birth But Love gives me Heaven upon Earthâ— These Comforts my Elenorâ— does impart â—oy to my Eyes sweet Raptures to my Heart Gov. Like you here stands a happy Man And I 'll keep my Tittup that is if I can FINIS When the Friar is halfway up the Ladder breaks and falls down
Pistols that I may give this Midnight-Guest the Welcome he deserves Exit SCENE changes to an Orchard Count Camillus and Friar Andrew come down the Wall by a Ladder of Ropes Friar So We are got well in Heaven send us safe out agen Cam. Father Father don 't trouble Heaven in this Affair you 'l never prosper Friar Bless me my Lord Prayers are natural to me if you are so wicked to neglect 'em I can't help that Cam. Come mind your Bus'ness where 's the Whistle Friar Here here now for a delicious Vision Of a peeping Angel Whistles The Marquess above Marq. The Signal 's given and here 's the Answer Shoots off a Pistol Friar Andrew falls flat Cam. We are discover'd and if I stay all other Opportunities are left for ever A Cry within of Thieves Thieves Why Friar Friar Father You are not hurt the Bullets went over our Heads Friar Are ye sure I am not hurt I did conceive I was kill'd Cam. No no but I know not what you may be if you stay Follow me with speed Cam. gets over the Ladder Friar Oh Pox the Devil of all ill Luck ruin'd hang'd drawn and quarter'd No possibility of escaping without a Miracle and I can't have the Impudence to expect a Miracle Noise within Where Where Thieves follow Oh! they come they come and now at my greatest Extremity I cannot pray God so here 's a Tree I 'll try to mount it Gets up the Tree Enter the Marquess and several Servants Marq. Search well Boys leave not a Shrub or Tuft of Grass unexamin'd Five Pistoles to him who finds One. 1 Serv. I warrant ye my Lord let us alone for ferreting ' em Soho what have we here A Pox 't is a Stub of a dead Tree 'thas broke my Nose Another Servant looking up in the Tree where the Friar is 2 Serv. Oh Rogue Are ye there I 'll be with ye presently Friar Andrew as the Fellow gets up throws his Bottle of Holy-water full in his Eyes and pulls his Cowl over his Face and roars out They botâ— fall from the Tree together The Devil the Devil oh my Eyes are out The rest cry The Devil They drive the Marquess in who often turns and cries Let me see him let me see him The Friar follows 'em roaring SCENE changes to the inner part of the House Several Servants enter in Confusion a great knocking at the Door and cry of Fire Fireâ— One of the Servants open the Door Enter Hidewell Men and Maids as from their Beds some crying Fire some Murder Treason c. After them Enter Friar Andrew driving several Servants who run out crying the Devil the Devil Hidew. Make haste unlucky Devil 'T was I cry'd Fire open'd the Door for your deliverance Fly and own me for the Master of your Art for ever Friar I cannot stay to thank ye But I yield I yield Exit running Enter the Governor in his Night-Cap and Sword drawn Gov. Benedicta Maria What! Fire Murder and Treason all abroach at once a horrible Plot By the Honour of Spain a terrible one as I hope to be a Grandee Enter the Governor's Lady aâ—tended Lady Sâ—ywell what can be the meaning of this My Collonel would not come in such a way My Lord my Deary the Matter the Cause of this Disturbance Gov. Here Sirrah raise all the Guards Oh Tittâ—p we 're like to be murder'd drown'd and blown up no body knows how nor which way A damnable Plot by his Majesty's Mustachâ—es I swear Lady Sure 't is a false Alarm The House has been searcht by soâ—e Servants discreerer than the rest and they find nothing Enter Marquess cutting his Servants Mâ—rq Villains Dogs under the notion of the Devil These Sheep-lookt Rogues these Dastard Whelps Have let the Robber of my Honour escape whilst I But just examin'd if my Wife was safe the Wolf the Goat is gone Gov. Hey da my Lord Marquess Are we then alarm'd only with a jealous Whim of yours By the Peace and Pleasure of my Life I 'll suffer it no longer Any other of my Palaces are at your Service but such a Wasp shall molest my Honey-hive no more Marq. Uncivil Lord thy Palaces nor all thy Wealth shou'd bribe my stay To morrow I 've resolv'd for my departure in the interm I desire an hours Conference Gov. Soon as you please I am free Enter a Servant with Hidewell Serv. My Lord here we 've found a man that 〈◊〉 body knows Gov. Ha! who are ye Sirrah Your Name From whence d' ye come Whither d' ye go What 's your Business Answer me all at once Hidew. I daut I caunt but I 'll do no more than monny a Mon I will tell ye the truth Coming to Morket with my Fruit d' ye zee Ich heard the noise of Fire Fire Thieves ond such-like zo che thought good Crabtree-stick might walk amongst the Rogues zo Ich have left the Fruit with our Margery and come with main Vorce to help ye d' ye zee Gov. An honest Lad and d' ye hear you may sell your Fruit to my Family Hidew. O Lard O Lard Ch'am a made Mon and my Wife and Children what zell my Fruit to my Lord Governor made for ever henceforth I 'll scorn my Neighbors and despise my Betters Mar. I like this Fellow because I search'd him throughly and found him no Go-between Here Sirrah there 's something for ye and were I to stay ye shou'd haâ— my Custom Hidew. I thank your Honours Gov. to a Sentinel Let him out Exit Hidew. Marq. You ll remember to morrow morning early Gov. Most certainly Marq. aside Then I 'll convince this credulous easie man what need there is of watching one's Wife Good-night Exit Gov. Farewell go thy ways for a troublesome maggot-pated jealous-crownâ—d Simpleton as thou art Hey boy Tittup how isâ—t Tittup how shall you and I get to sleep again Tittup ha Lady I know not Gov. What moody Tittup Sings I 'll rouse ye and mouse ye and touse ye as long as I can Till squeaking I make ye confess There 's Heat in a vigorous Old Man When he loves to excess when he loves to excess Exeunt The End of the Second ACT. ACT III. SCENE a Chamber Enter Camillus and Friar Andrew Cam. Curst be my disappointing Stars that thus have cross'd me whilst I but aim at Elenora's Freedom she for my Attempts suffers from her Tyrant-Husband worse usage Friar You may curse your Stars if you please but for my part I bless the pretty twinkling Gentlemen that is if they had an hand in my Deliverance I am sure if I had been caught my Usage would have been bad enough I long to know what is become of that Hangdog Hidewell Oh! talk of the Devil and he appears Enter Hidewell Hidew. Down on your Marrow-bones Domine and thank my Ingenuity else your brittle Thread had been cut and you left in a dark way by this time Friar Come come don 't be so
my Litter ' vore naw Elen. Away Fool leave halling me I will go thou crâ—el Devil Marq. Come I 'll see her in the Litter and then take Horse Exeunt Re-enter Marquess and Hidewell Marq. Sirrah Sirrah where 's my Horse Hide My Lord mâ— Lord Marq. Sot Dunce my Horse Hide Why a why a I ty'd him to the Pales and t is so waundy dark without I cannot find him Marq. Fly and search Bid the Litter go softly I 'll oretake ' em Hide I 'm gone I 'm gone Comes back My Lord must I bring him hither Marq. Eternal Fool Call to me and I 'll come out Hide stopping Udsookers ' ch'am zummat a veard Marq. This Fellow will make me mad Beast will ye stir Hide Ch'ave heard Vokes talk of Ghosts zo I have about the Park Pales Marq. â—ascal I 'll make a Ghost o' thee if thou dost not go or direct me where my Horse is Hide I run I run Exit The Marquess following him Hidewell crosses the Stage running the Marquess within cries Where are ye Hide I 'll lead him a Dance Here here Exit Within Here here Marq. A Pox where The Marquess Entring Oh! the Devil I can't wag a step further I have lost sight of him and the Litter and am lam'd into the Bargain I hope Orada observ'd my Directions for the Road The Pass I gave 'em lets 'em through the City Gates If this Fool wou'd come once I shou'd soon overtake ' em Numps Fool Are ye coming Hidewell within O Lard O Lard ch'am an undone Mon Gh'am an undone Mon Marq. What 's the matter Enter Hidewell leaning on his Stick as soon as he comes in he falls down and roars out Hide Oh! Oh! Oh! Marq. What ails the Fellow Where 's my Horse Hide A Murâ—ain a Plaâ—ue take your Horse ch'am maim'd for ever For getting up to make haste he has thrown me and broke my Leg. Oh my poor Wife and Children they must to the Parish Then Margery how she 'll take on for to zay truth I lov'd her better than my Wife Oh! Oh! Oh! Marq. The Devil take thee and all thy Family for an unlucky Dog I see I must call up my Servants at last Exit Hidewell getting up Farewel sweet Signior for by this time your Lady 's in safe Hands Exit hastily singing Enter the Marquess Marq. Pedro Olonzo Valasco Pedro. Did you call my Lord Marq. Yes A Fellow has broke his Leg You must wake Monsier Cureclap my Fâ—ench Surgeon and Olonzo give Orders to my Grooms this moment to prepare two Horses Valasco shall go with me Pedro. My Lord what Fellow Where is he Why here 's no body Marq. looking about Gone Hell and Furies A Plot upon my Honour my Life my Wife my Estate Murder Murder Saddle all my Horses get what Friends Money will purchase search every Road my Estate my Wifeâ— Hell and Damnation Enter Governour with a Letter in his hand His Lady Diego and Servants Gov. So the Cry's up agen but Heaven be thanked 't is almost over now What 's the matter my Lord Marquess Marq. Ruin'd undone for ever My Wife 's Run away Lady How Run away That 's worse than I Deary Gov. I know not 'T is according as you prove Tittup Aâ— bad Wife 's better lost than found Lady Unkind Deary Marq. My Lord burying all Animosities I beg you wou'd assist me now I shall run mad my Wife nay more a great Estate lost lost Gov. My Lord you must be pacify'd I 've ill News to tell you there 's a Letter sent me from Rome by the Cardinal Patron of Spain that you stole a Young Lady firmly contracted to a Noble Roman Count Also His Majesty's Order to put the Lady in a Monastery till your Cause is try'd Marq. I 'll Hang my self I 'll Drown my self I 'll Bury my self alive Dogs Whelps get me Cords Knives Poyson Sword and Fire Exit Raving Gov. The Man 's distracted Diego after and perswade him Lady 'T is a just Judgment on him Deary for being so Jealous Gov. Ay Tittup when Women never give any cause you know Tittup Lady Hump Enter a Gentleman Gent. Sir my Lord Camillus â— sends to give you an Account that he expects the Lady Elenora at the English Embassador's He hears by an Express your Honour has Orders from the King relating to her to which he willingly submits Gov. An honest Lad by the Honour of Spain Tell him Friend I 'll wait on him immediately at the Embassador's Lady Deary Exit Gentleman Gov. What now That begging look's put on for something Lady Let me go with you and see the Embassador's Lady and the Marchioness and Gov. And the English Colonel Ha! why Tittup canst thou look me in the Face and ask this By the Honour of Spain I believe this Hoity Toity will desire me to admit him for her Gallant Lady Truly Deary if the Colonel is there you shall hear me charge him never to see me more Gov. A new way Tittup to go into a man's Company to forbid him your sight Come thou sha't along and Sings If with Horns my Kindness thou dost repay Iâ—ll Punish thee some unknown uncommon way Nor hear whate're thy Charming Tongue can say SCENE changes to the English Embassador's Camillus meeting Elenora and Orada Runs and Embraces Elenora Cam. My Elenora art thou here do I hold thee fast thou choicest Blessing of my Youth Elen. Witness my Heart which strongly beats how much I 'm pleas'd in my Camillus's Arms But Oh! I blush when I remember I am another's Wife Cam. No more o'th at the Cardinal 's my Friend and has promisâ—d a Divorce immediately Therefore Crown my Joys with Smiles and forget past Dangers Elen. I can say only this I love ye Cam. And not descending Angels with all their Heavenly Tunes cou'd Charm like that dear sound safe in a Monastery thou shalt remain till the Dispute is ended And then Oh! thou blest Charmer then all my Sufferings shall be liberally paid and longing Love Revel in Feasts of unutterable Delight Nor art thou forgot dear Orada but whilst I have Life sha't be usâ—d like a Friend and Mistress of my Fortunes Orad. I humbly thank your Honour and heartily rejoice at my good Lady's Happiness Cam. Poor Hidewell I hope he is in safety Enter Hidewell Hidew. Yes and here at your Honour's service tho' I have had a broken Leg and two or three other Misfortunes but allâ—s well now and I can dance for Joy Cam. Thou art a witty Rogue and henceforward sha't ha' no occasion to expose thy self â— I 'll provide for thee like a Gentleman Hidew. I 'm your ready Slave D' ye hâ—â—r that Mrs. Scornful To Orada how d' ye like my Parts and Person now Ora. Troth I 've seen so much between my Lady and the Count that my Mouth almost waters Hidew. We shall soon agree I find Cam. My deâ—r Elenora the Ambassador's Lady sends A Lady enters and whispers Camillus word
Exeunt Scene draws and discovers the Governor his Lady Collonel Peregrine several Gentlemen and Ladies A SONG I. ALas when Charming Sylvia's gone I sigh and think my self undone But when the lovely Nymph is here I 'm pleas'd yet grieve and hope yet fearâ— Thoughtless of all but her I rove Ah! tell me is not this to love II. Ah me what Power can move me so I dye with Grief when she must go But I revive at her return I smile I freeze I pant I burn Transports so sweet so strong so new Say Can they be to Friendship due III. Ah! no 't is Love 't is now too plain I feel I feel the pleasing Pain For who e'er saw bright Sylvia's Eyes But wish'd and long'd and was her Prize Godsâ— if the Truest must be blest Oh! let her be by me possest Collonel Peregrine and the Governor's Lady dance all the Time the Governor cries Ha boy Tittup Well done Tittup Ha boy Tittup Gov. The Dance done he goes to her You are hot you are hot Child Lady A little warm Gov. Well Tittup do but carry thy Body swimmingly Without tripping and we 'l begin a Reformation In Barcellona shall thou go thro' Spain The Ladies shall live like Cherubims But have a care Tittup have a care of a faux pas Lady Fear not Deary Gov. Come now let 's sit down and see the rest perform Let me have some lively Songs Collonel Peregrine goes to sit next the Governor's Lady Hold Friend hold I have not learnt so much Of your English Fashion yet to let another man Sit by my Wife and I decently keep at a distance Coll. I beg your Pardon Sir Gov. Nay no harm Sings If an old man has a beauteous Treasure Let her sing and dance and laugh without measure And then she 'l think of no other Pleasure Col. Your own Sir Gov. Ay ay Boy I have a Thousand of 'em In a day ex tempore Col. Is 't possible Gov. Come now I ha' done do you strike up Songs and Dances The Musick ended enter a Servant Serv. My Lord there is to wait on your Honour His Excellency the Duke Gonsalvo de Medina de Sidoni de Gov. Hold hold enough enough Where is he Serv. In the Hall of Ceremonies Gov. Gadso I must go to him sit you merry I 'll be with you presently Exeunt all but Collonel Peregrine the Lady and Spywell Lady Spywell stand at yonder Door and give me information as soon as ever my Lord comes up the great Stairs Spywell I will Madam Col. My Angel by Heaven I am raging mad Burnt up with violent Love Thy Shape Thy every Motion fires me but thy Eyes They set me in a Blaze Oh! I must dye Unless the Cordial of returning Kindness save me Lady Can you be so Ungenerous to wrong this noble Governor who is so fond of you and even dotes on me Col. He wrong'd thee more when he condemn'd thy lovely Youth to wither'd Sapless Arms. Can little foolish Tricks Of fondness make amends for Extasies Pantings The Joys unutterable of vigorous Love Lady I must not hear ye Col. You must you must I 'll kneeling fix Ten thousand Burning Kisses on thy Beauteous Hand And the little wanton God swims and revels in thy spritely Eyâ—s Lady Why am I fasten'd here too Rigorous Heaven Take from this wondrous Stranger his Conquering Charms Or give me more Insensibility Enter Spywell Spyw. Madam my Lord 's upon the Stairs Lady Away away mark what I say and keep up the Discourse Coll. This is but living upon the Rack You might contrive a better Opportunity Lady Peace and observe But are your Ladies then so free And yet so innocent in England Gov. peeping Gadso they are together tho' I am not jealous 't is convenient to hear a little what their Conversation is Coll. Chaster in their Thoughts than your Nuns yet merrier more frollicksome than your Carnavals Lady Very pleasant just so I wou'd live yet If a bold encourag'd Wretch once offer'd at my Honour I wou'd not stay to use my Husband's Sword but With my own Hands stab the vile Presumer Coll. You need not Madam talk of Weapons your Eyes Tho' they roul in Fire yet shoot chaste Beams And show your Heart as cold as Ice Gov. So so very very well by th' Mass How is 't my Ganymede o' the War who look'st Fitter to storm Hearts than Towns Yet igad you English Boys Fear not their pretty Faces but Fight like rugged Romans Or the old rough Gauls Coll. You compliment us my Lord. Gov. No faith I hate ' em Well Tittup are ye almost ready for your Dinner Lady When you please Deary Gov. I warrant the Marquess wou'd not let his Wife dine with us for the King of Spain's next Plate-Fleet Lady He has let me see her but once when I offer'd it again he plainly told me my Company was unfit for her rude Brute Coll. To us who have been bred otherwise it seems a Miracle That men can be so barbarous to the Fair Sex Gov. But I 'll set 'em an Example if Tittup holds her Ground Come along Sings Merrily merrily let 's pass our Time In Freedom Ioy and Plenty At Sixty appear but in our Prime Whilst the Thinking Sot is old at Twenty Exeunt ACT II. SCENE a Chamber Enter Elenora Marchioness of Moncada and Orada Elen. Dost think the Messenger got off Orada Or. Faith I know not Madam I thought I heard the Marquess's Voice as he went out The Fellow seem'd very cunning Elen. All his Policy but little would avail him If my Husband met him by Heaven 'T is kindly done of Count Camillus to leave his Wealth His Palaces and all the Pleasures of delightful Rome To follow wretched me to Barcellona I am a thing accurs'd by cruel Guardians For my Parents dy'd when I was young they wou'd not else Sure have forc'd me condemn'd to an old jealous Madman I saw his Follies and his Humors and I begg'd Like a poor Slave who views the Rack before him All in vain they were inexorable so may just Heaven Prove to them in their greatest need Or. This is a melancholy Thought Complaints won't break Locks we must set our Wits at work to free our selves I have search'd the Lodgings round but there 's no Passage an imprison'd Mouse could scarce escape Elen. But prithee dear Orada how got you in favour with my Lord He us'd to hate ye abominably Or. True and whilst he did so it was impossible for me To serve youâ— Ladiship So I wheel'd about Rail'd at you and all your Ways most heartily And immediately obtain'd his Grace Elen. Wou'd that do Or. Yes with a bantering Letter I show'd him pretending I had got it from you and a long Harangue how Wives ought to hear with their Husbands Ears see with their Eyes and make use of no sense without Permission In fine I ravish'd him with my Discourse till he threw those wither'd Sticks his
triumphant for had not my own roaring Preaching Voice Hidew. Ay ay much us'd to Preaching I believe unless it was Indulgence to a yielding Female Friar Well as I was saying had not my own Almighty Voice struck Terror thro' 'em I had been in Limbo long before your Ingenuity came to my Assistance Not but you did me a Kindness and I acknowledge it That 's enough for a man of my Qualifications Cam. Oh Hidewell all my Hopes are ruin'd and poor Elenora must remain a Slave for â—ver Hidew. My Lord you are mistaken our Expectations now stand fairer the Governor and Marquess both take me for a very silly honest Fellow and have order'd I shall have full and free access then let me alone for a Contrivance I 'll get the Lady for you and the Woman for my self following the Example of all noble Knights and trusty Squires Friar I find you are providing for your selves But what must I have for my Pains-taking in this Affair Hidew. You know you cannot marry I 'll give you leave To tempt my Damsel when I have her D' ye conceive If she loves Spiritual Food I 'll not be your hind'rance Cam. Dear Hidewell thou sha't go immediately learn when they remove â—athom their Designs I 'll force her â—rom him on the publick Road. He â—orc'd her from her plighted Faith her Vows and all her Wishes My Force is just Hidew. Trust to me my Lord and fear not Enter Colonel Peregrine Col. My Lord your humble Servant I ha'n't rested to night since I heard of your Disappointment reflecting how my own Affair may prove Cam. Ah Colonel our Cases are very different You hunt but for Enjoyment the huddl'd Raptures of a few tumultuous moments But I am in quest of Virgin-Beauty made mine by Holy Vows constrain'd by Fiends instead of Friends to break the sacred Contract and follow the Capricio of a mad Old Man Virgin did I call her By Heaven I dare belâ—eve she is one at least her Mind is such and were she in my power I 'd soon convince the World of the Justice of my Cause Col. My Lord you shall command my Sword and Interest in Barcellona yet you must give me leave to mind my own Affairs I grant your Passion more Heroick for I shou'd scarce accept the Governor's Wiâ—e for mine if he wou'd give her but I am amorous and eager as Love and Beauty can inspire hot and vigorous Youth Friar By St. Dominick well said old Boy I 'll stick to thee I hate these whining Romantick Lovers Nor wou'd I have trudg'd to Barcellona had I thought the Count only fix'd on Honora â—sha I can get it out Honourable Love Col. Since you are so willing Sir I have Employment for you Can you play the Hector well pursue with a fiery Countenance swear without intermission make noise enough no matter what you say Friar I 'll try I 'll try hum hum by St. Dominick by St. Patrick St. Col. Hold hold what d' ye mean You must swear by Iupiter Radamanthus Mars and those blustering Sparks not such puny passive Saints Friar Well Sir I shall be soon instructed But what must I swear all this for or like the Bullies of the Age must it be all for nothing Col. No no there is a Cause Come along with me and I 'll give ye Clothes and full Directions Hidew. If I might advise ye Sir he should not undertake it he has something in that unlucky Phy's shows him unfiâ— tho' coveting Intrigues plaguy unfortunate Lines I swear Friar Peace Enâ—yâ— Scrietchowl Raven Bat Devil When did I ever fail before that Night nor then neither sirrah ha Hidew. Rage on Spight I say but this Have a care when in all your Gallantry you don't forget and make a Friar-like â—alutation Friar Pox take ye for putting me in mind on 't for I always do a thing I am forbid Enter a Servant Serv. Please your Honour a Lady desires to speak with you Cam. I 'll wait on her Col. I 'll leave you this Apartment free my Lordâ— my Business being in haste Come Father Cam. Farewell may your Desires be fulfill'd or you curâ—d of ' em Col. Your Servant Friar B'w'ye Hidewell I don't question but to top you in my Performance when we meet next Hidew. Heaven help the weak I say Exeunt Col. and Friar Enter Orada Cam. Ha my dear Orada What Miracle got thee this liberty Ora. My Lady was so throughly frighted at the noise of the Pistols and the Confusion she heard for you I suppose that she has since been ill The jealous Marquess cou'd not find in 's Heart to trust a Doctor with her but sent me for a Cordial Cam. I hope her Sickness has no Danger in it Ora. No no 't is over now scarce enough left for a Pretext for my coming Cam. But what Hopes What shall be our next Design Speak Comfort my best Friend Ora. Faith I know not well Suppose the Marquess were some way inform'd you are in Barcellona 't wou'd â—right him out of his Wits I 'd back it and perswade him to send Elenora in the night privately lest you attempt her on the Road then you may seize the unguarded Fair. Methinks something like this might be done Cam. We 'l in and consider farther on 't Hidew. Heark ye Donna if your Lady falls to my Lord you prove my natural Perquisite by the Example of a Thousand Years Oro. What means the Fellow Cam. Despise him not Orada he has prodigious Parts under that Russet Coat Ora. I care not for him nor his Parts I shall ne'r examine ' em Hidew. You and I shall be better acquainted for all this Ora. Away Bumpkin Cam. I tell ye he 's a Beau in Disguise Ora. I believe so Cam. Come to this inner Room Orada lest we are interrupted Exeunt SCENE a Hall Enter the Governor Marquess and Diego Gov. A-pox a-pox Was this your Conferenceâ— If I had guess'd at it the Devil shou'd have confer'd with ye for me Marq. I wou'd ha' thank'd a Friend that sorewarn'd me of an approaching Evil. Gov. Evil What Evil The Evil is my knowing it if I had not 't had been none Yet how am I convinc'd you have not abus'd my Tittup By the Honour of Spain I 'll Fight for Tittup Guilty or not Guilty My Lord what you have said is a scandalous contagious outragious Marq. Hold if you say one word more I draw Gov. Well well I will have Patience but if this Colonel doth not come with the â—ham-plot you have buzz'd into my Head by King Philip's Beard Marq. Threaten not Ill meet you when and where you please ill-manner'd Fool Exit Gov. Diego I have born up yet Igad to own the Truth I am damnably afraid there 's something in it That English Colonel is a plaguy Dog he looks as if he were made to enter all Breaches conquer every way I 'll try if I can sing after this News Sings Lock up a Woman
or let her alone Keep her in private or let her be known 'T is all one 't is e'en all one A scurvy Tune as I hope to be a Grandee Nay if my Voice is broke my Heart will quickly followâ— Diego Dieg. My Lord Gov. I ever found thee faithful if the Spark does come follow exactly my Directions and all shall be well yet Dieg. Fear not me my Lord I 'd lose a Leg or an Arm at any time in your Honour's Service and never cry Oh! for 't Gov. Heark heark I think I hear a Noise Cry of Fire here Without a Cry of Murder and shutting Doors Enter Col. Peregrine his Sword drawn leaning upoâ— his Servant Col. Oh my Noble Lord I 'm ruin'd unless your Pity save me in England I in a Duel kill'd a Gentleman and his Friends have pursu'd me hither setting upon me Four at once Gov. Alas and welladay 't is sad indeed and you I warrant are wounded desperately Col. I fear to death oh oh Gov. Ah the dissembling Rogue it grieves me almost to disappoint him the Smock-fac'd Dog does it so cunningly aside Diego Dieg. Sir Gov. Diego get one of my able Surgeons to search the Wound Col. I thank you my Lord my own Servant has great Skill in Surgery I 'll trust him Gov. Diego carry this Gentleman to an Apartment near the Garden free from Noise I 'll send Tittup to visit ye by and by Col. Your Lordship 's all Goodness Exit Gov. And thou all Treachery Oh! the English whineing Dog how shall I punish him By the honour of Spain he deserves to be utterly disabl'd render'd wholly incapable But I 'll have Mercy in my Anger hang 't I have lov'd the handsom Whipster and he shall find it Enter Diego So have ye dispos'd of him as I order'd Dieg. Yes my Lord and whilst I was in the Chamber he groan'd as if his Heart were breaking But I had the Curiosity to stay a little at the Door and heard both laugh ready to burst â—â—'t please your Honour Gov. Please me not much in faith Diego but let me tell 'em had they fell into the hands of any other of our Nation their Mirth wou'd quickly ha' been spoil'd and their Whoring too adod Enter Servants hauling in Friar Andrew Serv. My Lord we have took the Ringleader that pursu'd the Noble English Colonel Gov. Good Boys Good Boys Well Sir And what are you Friar If you are a man of Authority as by your House and Port I guess you are I charge you do me Justice for by yonder blew Firmament and all those hated Stars that twinkl'd at my Brother's Murder I 'll flea that cursed Colonel Gov. Thou Hangdog begot in Lewdness and born in some Sink of Sin Son of a thousand Fathers and Maker and Contriver of Cuckolds without number I know thee for a Pimp Here Diego fasten upon one Whisker whilst I take t'other if they are fast I may alter my Opinionâ— They are reverend Whiskers I confess if not I proclaim thee a Pimp They pull and the Whiskers come off between 'em Fri. Oh mercy mercy I do own my Profession but good my Lord forgive me Gov. Ay that I will but I 'll punish thee first here carry him to the red Tower and let him have Two hundred Lashes till all Thoughts of Concupiscence either for himself or others be throughly mortified Fri. Hear me my Lord Gov. No away with him Fri. You must hear me I am a Priest I excommunicate ye else Gov. A Priest and a Pimp Oh Lord Fri. Why is that such a Wonder Dieg. Look my Lord here hang his Beads under hâ—s Clothes Fri. Now my Lord you are satisfied the Secular Arm can't punish me pray give me a Release Gov. Hold hold not so fast Take him and carry him to the next Abby just as he is and tell the Fathers what ye know Fri. 'T is well 't is no worse to deal with the Tribe let me alone they 'l judge my Frailties by their own Gov. Say ye so Beelzebub in his own Cloathing but I 'll be a Thorn in thy side I 'll warrant thee old Father Iniquity Serv. My Lord wâ—'ll set the Mob upon him that 's worse than all the Justices in Quorum Fri. I 'le Curse Excommunicate Purgatory ye Hang ye Damn ye Exit forc'd off Enter Governor's Lady Lady My â—eary Spywell tells me our dear Colonel 's wounded Gov. Oh most dangerously Tittup he has as many holes thro' him as a Jew's Cake Lady Alas then I fear he 's dead Gov. No no Nature has fram'd his Body for the purpose a Sword passes and repasses like a Jugler's Ball and no harm done Lady Cruel Deary you make a Jest â—n't but I 'le visit and comfort him Gov. Hold hold his Wounds are dressing You wou'd see him naked wou'd ye Lady Oh Gad not for the World Gov. Retire to your Chamber I 'le send for you when 't is convenient Lady I will Dear but pray take care of him Gov. Yes there shall be Care taken of him I promise ye A hopeful young Gentleman by the Honour of Spain Diego follow to my Closet there I 'le make thee sensible of my Design Exeunt Enter the Marchioness Elenora meeting Orada Elen Dear Orada bring'st thou Comfort or must I remove from Barcellona to Wilds and unfrequented Desarts impenetrable Castles and all the melancholy Mischiefs spritely Youth can fear Ora. I hope not Madam the Lord Camillus employs his Brain and all his busie Instruments for your deliverance Elen. Give me the Scheme of his Design that I may guess at the Success Ora. Madam my Lord. Enter the Marquess Elen. Take that thou impudent Performer of my Tyrant's Will Strikes her Ora. My Lord you see what I suffer for your Service Marq. But we 'll be so reveng'd Orada when we haâ—â— her wholly to our selves by Heaven I 'll bring that pamper'd Carcass down The Roses shall wither in her wanton Cheeks her Eyes whose hot Beams dart Fire grow dull and languid By all my Pangs of Jealousie I 'd rather clasp a Fiend than Doubting Sleep by such an Angel Elen. And 't is thy Doubts Old Man not I torment thee Our Sex like Water glides along pleasant and useful but if grasp'd by a too violent Hand unseen they slip away and prove the fruitless Labour vain Marq. To Waters Waves and Rocks most justly may you be campar'd but I want time to hold an Argument Prepare this Night for your remove I am fix'd your Jewels Equipage and all put up Elen. Let my Slaves take care of that What need have I of Jewels Ornaments or Dress condemn'd to Cells and everlasting Solitudes Enter a Servant Serv. My Lord a Country Fellow is very importunate to speak with you Marq. Bring him in Mistress you to your Chamber You hear the man's Business is with me Elen. May it prove a vexatious one I beseech Heaven Exit Enter Hidewell Marq. Oh my honest Fruiterer what brought