now to be an adviser of youth Every one honoureth the hoarie haires but if there be as well a frost in the conscience as snow upon the head wherein doe I excell the very heapes of soyle which are cast out from our dwellings The dustie monuments of those our ancestours which in their declining columnes nodde towards the earth doe as gravely â—each the certaintie of our end as these skarres and wrinkles of age in my shrivelled skinne The lesse I enjoy of a radicall moisture the sooner shall I become the sport of the winds and be blowen about in mistie ashes My multiplyed dayes are but the increase of my sinnes unlesse I can make each line in my face a correctour of vice that people may imagine that they were placed there as much by my holy anger at offendours as by the continued account of my flying minuits Most powerfull was that exhortation of the valiant Ioshua when being old and striken in yeeres Ios 23.2 hee put the Israëlites in mind of the mercies of God Most prevalent was the rhetorick of the Doctour of the Gentiles when though as himselfe saith Philem. vers 8. vers 9. hee might be much bold in Christ to enjoyne Philemon that which was convenient yet for loves sake hee rather besought him being such a one as Paul the aged Were I such a one as was Ioshua or Paul my death might be lamented when I shall be caried to my grave When the greate confusion was to come upon Ierusalem for her many rebellions it was not to be the least of their punishments that God would take away from them the prudent and the ancient Is 3.2 c 9.13 Because the people turned not unto him that did smite them neither did they seeke the Lord of hosts vers 14 therfore saith the Prophet the Lord will out off from Israël head and tayle branch and roote in one day vers 15. The ancient and honourable hee is the head and the Prophet that teacheth lyes hee is the tayle Mine yeeres doe number mee among the ancient of our times but doe my vertues ranke mee with those that are truely honourable Those who have well deserved in the time of their lives are embalmed with teares at their sad and dolefull interments But shall I be lamented at my funerall obsequies Peradventure I may for some may remember that I have beene open-handed to the poore and indigent some that I have visited the sick and infirme But what of that These might appeare to others as acts of charitie and yet by some sinister intent which I might harbour in my bosome they may be charged to mine account for hainous offences by the all-seeing God That good which I performe to any of my neighbours ought to be done onely in obedience to my Lord. I must therfore be carefull that both my acts intents be truely good If I doe noe good even in the neglect of good I am guilty of evill If I serve not my God I robb the Saints upon earth Ps 16.3 and I eate and drinke those creatures of his which might relieve his thankfull and obedient servants Whatsoëver I have I doe not create it I onely receave it so I must necessarily acknowledg it not mine but Gods If I imploy not his guifts for the advantage of his glory I doe but borrow that which I intend not to restore so though my God neede 's not my thanks yet needes hee must punish mee for mine un-thankfullnesse What then shall I doe Have I lived thus long at the bounty of my God and am I now to beginne to be thankfull to my God Ould I am Gen 27.2 and as Isaak sayd to Esau I know not the day of my death I must therfore so provide for my death as if this moment were the period of my life The young may dye the ould must dye So teach mee ô Lord Ps 90.12 to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto wisedome O that I were as good as I am aged Many that are younger in yeeres then my selfe are elder by farre in goodnesse and vertue But why have I beene so slothfull so negligent in the affaires of heaven Must age be honoured Why then doe I not strive to honour him who ever was even before the foundations of the earth were layed I must not be receaved into the quire of saints for the number of my yeeres nor can I come thither unlesse my soule be more innocent then the whitenesse of my head would seeme to resemble Mine age should truely be reckoned from my conversion Numbers of yeeres doe but draw mee neerer to my with-drawing chamber but numbers of vertues may bring mee neerer unto heaven By the multiplying of my minuits I have but for a time prevented the longing wormes I cannot satisfie for my sinnes though I should continue as long as the world shall endure Yet if I could it were folly in mee to expect much longer continuance upon earth I am travelling to the grave Eccl 12.1 Neere it I am The yeeres are now come wherein I must say I have noe pleasure in them Every age hath sinnes which attendeth it Though some have forsaken mee yet others are apt to succeede in their roomes hardly would they be so soone in my grave and be buried in my repentance The more low wee aged people doe stoope towards our mother through the decay of nature for the most part wee grow the more coveteous of that which is digged from the earth But why should wee who are ancient be so desirous of money This is not providence but ungrounded coveteousnesse A litle will serve us for that litle time wee can stay upon the earth But to prevent this sinne my bending to the earth shall put mee in mind of the dust whence I came and viewing the base originall of my flesh I will labour to serve the father of spirits Heb 12.9 Phil 3.8 Rev 21.21 All things will I account but losse and dung that I may winne my Iesus Hee sitteth inthroned in the new Ierusalem the very streetes whereof are the purest gold O my God shutt me out noe longer from those eternall riches I can not choose but offend thee while I remaine upon earth for his sake therfore who dyed on the cresse make hast to receave mee into that heavenly paradise O how sick mee thinks I grow of this wretched world My limbs would willingly yeeld to mortalitie and lye downe in the bed of a silent grave O that the time were come when I shall say to corruption Iob. 17.14 Thou art my father and to the wormes yee are my mother and my sisters Gen 25 17. When Ishmaël was an hundred thirtie and seaven yeeres old hee gave up the ghost and dyed and was gathered to his fathers Isaak gave up the ghost c 35.29 and dyed and was gathered to his people being old and full of dayes Abraham gave up the
downe Sharon was like a wildernesse and Bashan and Carmel did shake off their fruits But what was the reason of all these judgments of all this languishing sent upon the creatures I neede not goe farre to seeke the cause the Prophet will soone determine it for hee complaineth of the people that By swearing and lying Hos 4.2 and killing and stealing and committing adulterie they brake forth and blood touched blood These were their sinnes but what was the effect The selfe same Prophet immediately after threatneth them with it saying vers 3. Therfore shall the land mourne and every one that dwelleth therein shall languish with the beasts of the field and with the fowles of heaven Here was the earth and the world the citties and the fields and the vines and the plants and the lands and the corne and the oyle and the figtrees and all languishing grievously languishing and the cause thereof was the people's sinne But yet mee think's this cannot much concerne mee Shall I for a smootie eare of corne or two or for the drying of the branch of a vine or a figtree presently conclude that the withering of them can paralell my consumption Yes doubtlesse I must if I looke into the cause The trees and the other of the smaller plants could never either be guiltie of an offence or be sensible of a punishment but the men the men they were the offenders and for their transgressions their mother earth had her second curse I cannot pleade mine owne innocency or pretend that I am free from the guilt of enormities Noe noe I cannot I may therfore conceave my selfe one of the trees which I find so cursed for my branches mine armes my leggs my thighs doe pine away my fruits my workes and my labours are now decayed and what can I say or pleade for my selfe I am one of those trees which the Apostle speaketh of whose fruite withereth Iud. 12 without fruit twice dead and now am I ready to be plucked up by the rootes Yet for all this my stubborne heart mee think's stand 's out and would faine perswade mee that the curse of the trees resemble's not my disease But I hope that I shall came this heart of mine and put it to silence when I shall search more narrowly in to the sacred booke Wherfore did the Prophet say that hee heard from the Lord God of hosts a Consumption Is 28.22 determined even upon the whole earth VVas it not because the people sayd vers 15 They had made a covenant with death and with hell they were at agreement when the overflowing scourge should passe thorow it should not come nigh them for they had made lyes their refuge and under falsehood they had hid themselves Doeth not the Lord by the mouth of Moses threaten the people saying If yee will not hearken unto mee Lev 26 14. vers 16 and will not doe these commandements I will allso doe this unto you I will even appoint over you terrour Consumption and the burning ague that shall consume the eyes and cause sorrow of heart Doeth hee not againe menace them and say Deut 28. The Lord shall smite thee with a Consumption and a feaver and with an inflammation and with an extreame burning Doeth not the Prophet tell the people saying Is 10.22 vers 23. The Consumption decreed shall over-flow in righteousnesse for the Lord God of hosts shall make a Consumption even determined in the midst of all the land O my conscience my conscience thou art now at a standâ— O my heart my hardest heart thou art now struck dead Loe here 's my very disease my Consumption and is here not my sinne too Have I never made a covenant with death or beene at agreement with hell Have I never made lyes my refuge or hid my selfe under false-hood Have I not refused to hearken to my God and to doe his commandements O how faine would I have attributed my disease to fecond causes and rather have thanked the Physitian then the Divine for telling mee the ground But now I am at a stand and must needs confesse in the midst of my torments that I find in them the displeasure of my maker I cannot urge one act of goodnesse that ever I did to pleade my pardon for the least for the smallest sinne which I have committed Alas I find my destinie in the booke of Psalmes where the Prophet telleth mee that The wicked shall perish Ps 37.20 and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fatt of lambs they shall Consume into smoake shall they Consume away O were I but worthy to be ranked in the forme with Aoraham I might as well as hee be styled The friend of God Iam 2.23 But my conscience telleth mee that though God be my friend in his goodnesse and longsuffering yet never was I hitherto a friend of his Such a friend to him indeede I am as hee was whom in his meekenesse hee called a friend Mat 22 12. hee who shifted in for a dinner among the guests that were invited But what became of him Alas when hee was found not having on a wedding garment vers 11 vers 13 the Lord then said unto his servants Bind him hand and foote and take him away and cast him into outward darknesse there shal be weeping and gnashing of teeth O this dreadfull sentence have I deserved besides this consumption which I now groane under and all because I am an enemie of the Lord's This shall be the plague saith the Prophet wherewith the Lord shall smite all the people that have fought against Ierusalem Zech 14.12 Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feete and their eyes shall consume away in their holes and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth Ierusalem is the vision of peace Gal 4.26 But I have allways warred against it The Church upon earth hath found mee an adversarie and that Ierusalem which is above hath found mee an enemie This is my fault and justly therfore doe I feele this punishment For this offence my flesh consumeth away while I stand on my feete mine eyes are mistied and over-cast with dimnesse and my tongue is so feeble that I can skarce complaine I may now cry out as Hezekiah did and say Mine age is departed Is 38.12 and is removed from mee as a sheep-heard's tent I have cutt off like a weaver my life hee will cutt mee off with pining sicknesse from day even to night wilt thou make an end of mee But let mee not forget the sinne of Hezekiah His heart was lifted up 2. Châ—… 32.25 therfore there was wrath upon him and upon Iudah and upon Hierusalem Let mee not forget mine owne sinne My heart hath beene lifted up too I have beene proude yea I have swelled with scorne and contempt O that with Hezekiah too vers 26 I could humble my selfe for the pride of my
Ier 3.22 And this is hee to whom Israel replyeth and saith vers 23 Behold wee come unto thee for thou art the Lord our God Truely in vaine is salvation hoped for from the hills and from the multitude of mountaines truely the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel This is hee who promiseth unto Zion c 30.17 saying I will restore health unto thee and I will heale thee of thy wounds saith the Lord because they called thee an out-cast saying This is Zion whom no man seeketh after This is the same Lord to whom the people of Israel addressed themselves Hos 6.1 when they said Come let us returne unto the Lord for hee hath torne and hee will heale us hee hath smitten and hee will bind us up Since then my God hath cured both lands and waters and bodies and soules Since hee woundeth and hee healeth none can deliver out of his hand Since hee bringeth downe to the grave and bringeth up Since hee woundeth and his hands make whole Since it is hee onely who forgiveth all our iniquities healeth all our diseases and saveth our lives from destruction Since it is hee that bindeth up the breach of his people and healeth the stroake of their wound Since it was hee that promised to penitent Iudah that hee would restore comforts to him and to his mourners Since it is hee alone who is the salvation of Israël Since it is hee that promised unto Zion to restore health unto her and to heale her of her wounds I will resolve therfore with the people of Israel to returne unto him for hee hath torne mee and hee alone can heale mee hee hath smitten mee and hee alone can bind mee up To him to him will I humbly sue for the cure of my wounded and distressed soule and to him will I willingly submitt my weake and feeble body I will powre out my soule unto him I will send up my supplications unto him and will pray and say The Prayer GReate Creatour full of compassion who both sendest sicknesse and restorest health be thou graciously pleased I most humbly beseech thee to turne thy wrath from thy distressed servant Thy hand ô Lord is heavie upon mee in this languishing consumption and the sting of my transgressions pierceth mee with sharpe and grievous torments Yet I must confesse ô my God that my sufferances doe not any wayes equall mine offences nor can the paines which I endure satisfie thee mine offended Lord for the least of my transgressions O my sinnes are upon mee Eze 33.10 and I pine away in the punishment for them how then shall I live My body languisheth my flesh consumeth Ps 22.15 Ps 39.11 Iob 33 19. vers 20 and now am I very neere drawne unto the dust of death Thou with thy rebukes doest correct mee for mine iniquities thou makest my beautie to consume away like a moath I am chastened with paine upon my bed and the multitude of my bones with strong paine so that my life abhorreth bread and my soule the daintie meate that is to be desired vers 21 My flesh is consumed away that it cannot be seene and my bones that were not seene vers 22 stick out My soule draweth neere unto the grave and my life to the destroyers But yet I know that with thee ô God is compassion Mat 9.12 and tender mercies The whole have noe neede of the Physitian but such as I who am sick and in miserie O that it might be sayd of mee as it was by Mary concerning her brother Lazarus Io 11.3 even that Shee whom thou lovest is sick O my God make mee thy friend in heart and soule and graunt that I may expresse it in my dutifull obedience to all thy commandements and then be thou my friend in thy succour and reliefe Ps 41.1 vers 2. Deliver mee now in this time of trouble preserve mee and If it may be thy good pleasure keepe mee alive make mee blessed upon the earth and deliver mee not over into the hands of death vers 3. Lord strengthen mee upon this my bed of languishing make thou turne thou all my bed in my sicknesse Thou hast chastened mee sore Ps 118.18 Ps 116.8 vers 9. Ps 143.6 ô give mee not over unto death but deliver my soule from death mine eyes from teares and my feete from falling that I may walke before thee in the land of the living Vnto thee ô my God doe I stretch forth my hands my soule thirsteth for thee as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee speedily ô Lord my spirit faileth hide not thy face from mee for I am become like unto them that goe downe into the pit Thou hast promised by thine Apostle Iam 5.15 that the prayer of faith shall save the sick and that thou wilt raise him up Lord I pray unto thee strengthen thou my faith I am sick Lord raise thou mee up and make good unto mee that thy promise by thy holy Apostle Heale mee ô Lord Ier 17.14 and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise O Lord I call upon thee Ps 141.1 hast thee unto mee consider my voyce now I cry unto thee and restore mee to health But howsoever if thou hast otherwise determined of mee ô my Iesus cleanse thou mee by thy blood and cure my soule by the merits of thy passion My sinnes I must confesse are the cause of my sicknesse but doe thou ô God Ps 44.22 blott out as a thick clowde my transgressions as a clowde my sinnes returne unto mee for thou hast redeemed mee O give mee patience in this time of adversitie give mee comfort in the examples of thy mercy and give mee assurance of thy love in the sanctifying of this sicknesse unto mee As my body doeth dayly draw neerer to the earth so make my soule allso dayly draw neerer unto heaven If it may be thy pleasure to restore mee to health againe ô let it be thy mercy allso to renew mine obedience But if thou art resolved by this disease to free mee from the labours of this wearisome world and to bring mee downe to my grave for thy Christs sake o my mercifull and indulgent father bring thou my soule into thy celestiall paradise O graunt that my sinnes may consume farre faster then doeth my flesh and as thou takest away the strength of my body so be pleased to adde unto the strength of my faith I am thine ô Saviour and cost thee deere even the very blood that issued from thy crucified body be thou allso mine ô Iesus both now and for ever Abate the temptations â—… Satan and arme mee with strength to resist his suggestions Ravish my soule with the love of thy selfe that so I may with willingnesse forsake the vanities of this world with readinesse lay downe this tabernacle of flesh and with comfort that my soule may
because I cannot number my sinnes Is 30.20 I will eate the bread of sorrow and I will drinke the water of contrition and affliction if I live to eate drinke any more See see how voluntarily these forward teares falling all-ready from mine eyes present themselves to my lipps steale into the corners privately as it were instructing mee that they are the wine which befitt's a sinner Lord let mee not live if I doe not love to grieve and grieve most affectionately for my hainous offences for those offences of mine which so scourged my Redeemer that they fetch'd the very blood from his sacred body O my God make mee thus to passe away my time if any more time shall be mine and then I know that thou wilt wiâ—e these teares from mine eyes Is 25.8 and number mee with those few Mat 7.13.14 which shall enter in at the strait gate But what a tedious life in the meane while shall I leade if I doe nothing but weepe and cry and mourne out my life Better be out of the world then to take noe pleasure in the world Must I droope away my youth and strength while I am here and then drop away into my grave and so be forgotten Yes I must If I will have my heaven hereafter I must have my hell here I cannot bee without my hell of sinne here for the devill is allways with mee in his temptations and why should I not desire rather to have my hell of punishment here then hereafter It will be wisedome to endure a light affliction upon earth rather them eternall flames with the damned It will be good policie to forbeare the vaine and fruitlesse joyes upon earth that I may have joyes unspeakeable and endlesse in heaven This life will not continue allways I shall not allways live here in the bitternesse of this anguish and teares There will come a time when I shall have beauty for ashes Is 61.3 the garment of gladnesse for the spirit of heavinesse when I shall have comfort and joy and that joy shall noe man take away from mee Io 16.22 Ps 126.6 If I now goe on my way weeping bearing pretious seede I shall doubtlesse come againe with rejoycing bringing my sheaves with mee But when will that time come Will it not be long first I am contented to weepe for my sinns but mee think's I am not willing to weepe too long O my soule doe but consider with thy selfe that all thy life is not long enough if al of it were spent in teares to satisfie my God for the smallest of mine offences They are infinite in number and hee is infinite whom they displease Yet through the merits of him Lu 19.41 who wept over Ierusalem my teares shall be accepted and my sinnes be forgiven I shall not thinke my time of sorrow long or tedious if I doe but hearken to the Angel which Saint Iohn saw standing upon the sea and upon the earth Reu 10 5. who lifted up his hand to heaven vers 6â— And sware by him that liveth for ever and ever who created heaven and the thines that therein are and the earth and the things that therein are and the sea and the things that are there in that there should be time noe longer This will come to passe and I am sure that it cannot be long first Let mee but have a litle patience let mee possesse my soule in patience but a litle while Lu 21.19 Heb 10 37. and hee that shall come will come and hee will not tarry O my God either lend mee noe more minuits or howsoëver let mee have noe more sinne But if I must of necessitie sinne so long as I shall live give mee true repentance as often as I sinne or if that bee a taske too full of difficultie for a woman to performe by reason of the weakenesse of the sexe and the frailtie of the flesh yet give mee such repentance as may be both true and timely and acceptable Lord I desire not to live any longer unlesse I might live without offending thy gratious Majestie What time soever thou shalt allott mee hereafter it shall be more then I will expect lest it should wickedly entice mee to deferre my repentance Yet if it be thy pleasure to adde unto my dayes let it be thy pleasure likewise to adde unto my repentance Make mee thy child by grace and then I shall pant with David and thirst with David and cry Ps 42.2 Reu. 22 20. with David O when shall I come and appeare before thee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and come Lord Iesus come quickly The Prayer Ancient of dayes Dan. 7.9 Reu. 4.8 whose garment is white as snow and the haire of whose head is like the pure wooll thou which wert and art and art to come Lord God All mighty have mercy upon mee the meanest and the unworthiest of all thy creatures Mercy o Lord I begge for the wicked and most sinfull losse of my pretious time O Lord forgive whatsoëver I have done amisse pardon ô father whatsoëver I have offended in This or none must be my time of sorrow Lord graunt that I may weepe and grieve mourne for my former sinfull life It is thy custome ô God it is thy promise Ps 50.15 Neh. 9.27 to hearken unto those who are in distresse When the Israelites cryed thou deliveredst them from the hand of their enemies in their troubles when they cryed unto thee thou heardest them from heaven My sinnes are mine enemies and farre more cruell then were the enemies of Israel Lord be thou as gratious now unto mee in this time of my trouble as thou wert then unto thy people heare mee from heaven and forgive mee the wickednesse of my misse-led life Is 33.2 I wayte for thee ô my God be thou mine arme every morning and my salvation in this time of spirituall sorrow Forgive mee the losse of the time allready past accept of my repentance at this time which is present and so protect guide and blesse mee that what time soever shall be to come I may wholly dedicate it to thee the donour Ps 20.12 1. Pet. 1.17 Eph. 5.16 Rom. 13.11 Gal. 6.10 Io 9.4 Teach mee so to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto wisedome Make mee to passe the time of my sojourning here in feare redeeming the time because the dayes are evill and considering that it is now high time for mee to awake out of the sleepe of securitie Graunt that as I have opportunitie I may doe good unto all but especially to the house-hould of faith The night cometh when none can worke Lord doe thou draw mee Heb. 12 1. that I may follow after thee that so I may runne with patience the race which is set before mee vers 2. looking unto thee my Iesus the author and finisher of my faith Make mee to watch and attend thy coming ô
poore for thy sake allways considering that the vanities of earth are not worthy to be compared to the glory that shall be revealed 1. Pet. 5 1. Heb. 4.13 1. Tim. 2.9 vers 10 O thou to whose eyes even all things are naked and open graunt that I may adorne my selfe in modest apparell with shamefastnesse and sâ—brietie not so much with gold or pearles or costly aray as with good workes becomeing a professour of godlinesse Make mee labour for the ornaments of the hidden man in the heart in that which is not corruptible 1. Pet. 3 4. Luc. 12 21. 2. Cor. 9.11 1. Tim. 6.18 Iam. 2.5 Reu 3.18 even the ornament of a meeke quiet spirit which is in thy sight of greatest price Make mee ô heavenly father rich in thy selfe rich unto liberalitie rich in good workes in faith Make mee buy of thee gold tryed in the fire that I may berich and white raiment that I may be cloathed and that the shame of my nakednesse doe not appeare Let mee allways remember that greate accompt which one day I must render to thee the Lord of heaven and earth that so I may serve thee here with my substance in my body and my soule with zeale and devotion and hereafter be receaved to thine ever-lasting glory through the merits of thy sonne in thy bosome Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 7 THE SEAVENTH SUBjECT Teares in want or in the time of adversitie In foure severall Soliloquies treating of 1 A decayed est ate or plentie turned into povertie 2 Hunger both corporall and spirituall 3 Thirst both bodily and ghostly 4 Nakednesse both of the out-ward and the in-ward man The first Soliloquie Treating of a decayed estate or Plenty turned into povertie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Mary had powred her precious oyntment on the head of my Redeemer Mat 26 7. his disciples were filled with indignation vers 8. vers 9. said To what purpose is this wast For this oyntment might have beene sould for much and given to the poore vers 10 But when Iesus understood it hee said why trouble yee the woman For shee hath wrought a good worke upon mee vers 11 For yee have the poore allways with you but mee yee have not allways O mee think's the words of my Saviour doe more afflict mee then the povertie which I suffer I thought hee had beene allways conversant with the poore because hee so often commandeth their reliefe But now hee seemeth to leave us in our miserie when hee determineth that wee shall continue upon earth but himselfe resolveth to leave the earth But did hee not promise in Saint Mathew say Mat. 28 20. Loe I am with you allway even unto the end of the world How can his promise be fullfilled if wee have him not allway Will hee be at the same time both present with us and absent from us Or doeth hee disdaine our poverty and for that very reason deny us his presence Cease cease ô my soule these doubts questions which savour too much of ignorance Rom. 3 4. or infidelitie Let God be true and every man a lyer What hee spake to his disciples before his suffering hee spake of his flesh but what hee said when hee was risen hee affirmed of his Spirit True it is ô my Iesus that thy bodily presence I expect not upon earth Ps 144 5. nor may I desire thee to how the heavens and come downe from thy glory â—t is thy Spirit ô Christ which I humbly sue â—or even that Comforter who may strengthen â—…ee in the depth of my calamities Never â—ad I more neede of comfort from God then â—ow when the goods of the world forsake mee Now doe I find that I am hated Prov. 14.20 c 18.23 c 19.4 even of mine owne neighbours but the rich hath many friends I am enforced to use intreaties c 18.23 but the rich answereth mee roughly c 19.4 Wealth did make many friends but now I am poore I am seperated from my neighbours vers 7. All my brethren doe hate mee and much more doe my friends goe farre from mee I pursue them with words yet they are wanting unto mee Vaine world where are thy promises Deceitfull riches where is your friendship I who so lately was dandled in the lappe of pleasure and plenty am now exposed to paines and penury So litle did I dreame of this tempestuous storme that with David I said in my prosperitie Psa 30.6 I shall never be removed thou Lord of thy goodnesse hadst made my hill so strong But where are now those ensignes of pride my Rings and my Iewells Where are those factours of lasciviousnesse my favours and my fashions Where are those robbers of time my sports my games Where are those moths wormes of plenty my flattering society and my discursive companions Where are those pamperers of the body my severall dishes and daintie cookeries Where be those golden pictures that often yeelded mee leggs and the courtsies Alasse all 's gone all 's flowen The Sun is hidden and muffled in a clowde and by that meanes those atomes those motes are obscured Now must I expect noe more honour or respect My fingers and my wrists and my neck must forget that ever they were adorned with the treasure of the seas and the riches of the earth My back must forget that ever it was dressed in the fashion of strangers Mine eares must forget that ever they were delighted with the musick of discourses My palet must forget that ever it was coy and nice in the choyce of various meates My mind must forget that ever I was honoured with the respect of inferiours And my purse must forget that ever it was acquainted with the idoll of the world O what wonder and misery happen's in this change All things are altered as if I had slept out my time and onely dreamed of the pleÌ„tie which formerly I enjoyed Mee think's I am but just newly borne Nay I am worse for now I have neither nurse to suckle mee nor mother to dandle mee Yet am I still as if I were borne but a day or two since allthough I am growne to bignesse beyond the time for I am as ignorant of a way to live in the world as the sucking infant that 's nourished at the breast And now what shall I doe Nor acquaintance nor friends nor kindred nor any will remember that ever they knew mee or if they doe they will be moreready to taunt mee then afford mee reliefe Was ever miserie like unto mine Was ever distressed soule so destitute so forlorne as I am Whither shall I goe To whom shall I complaine Either my tougue hath forgotten to speake or my friends to heare
child by grace and adoption I am sure that hee will be my father by providence and protection Hee it is who sayd that hee would leave in the midst of Ierusalem Zeph 3.12 an afflicted and poore people but with all bee promised that they should trust in the name of the Lord. Hee that correcteth mee for mine offences intendeth my conversion the fault is in my selfe if it turne to my ruine Hee taketh away earth that hee may give mee heaven for both hee seeth I cannot graspe at once Thus hee at once both punisheth mee for mine offences and provideth for my happinesse Yet though hee punisheth hee doeth it not hastily nor yet un-expectedly if I justly consider it First hee threatneth before hee scourgeth and warneth mee to obey before hee chastiseth Thus by his Prophet Is 20.3 hee saith Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and bare foote three yeares for a signe and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia vers 4. So shall the King of Assyria leade away the Egyptians prisoners and the Ethiopians captives young and ould naked and barefoote even with their shame un-covered to the shame of Egypt Mee hee threatned too before hee thus visited mee but mine eares were deafe I stopped them and refused to hearken to the voyce of the Lord. Every sicknesse of mine owne or my friends every losse of mine owne or my neighbours was a menace â—…om the All-mighty Often did I see his â—…gments upon others but I minded them â—…t as if it nothing concerned mee what fell â—ot on my selfe Children of Princes doe â—eldome feele the smart of a rodde but are â—errified by the stripes which others receave Thus the Lord dealt with mee when hee scourged others but I pittied not them nor yet my selfe just it is therfore that none should now commiserate my case in the depth of my distresse Yet when I consider that this my poverty come's from God mee think's it is a testimomie as much of his love as of his severitie I know assuredly that his servant Iob did suffer more then my calamitie amount's unto yet hee repined not at his losses but glorified his maker Iob. 1.21 The Lord gave say's hee and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord. Thus if I magnifie him who sendeth this correction I shall not sinne in my sufferance vers 22 nor charge him foolishly Mar. 10 25. Hee who sayd It is easier for a Camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle then for a rich man to enter into the Kingdome of God even the same Lord said to the young man in the Gospel If thou wilt be perfect Mat 19 21. goe and sell that thou hast and give to the poore and thou shalt have treasure in heaven and come and follow mee Had I thought of heaven in my seeming prosperitie I should not so much have beene tormented with this present losse But I who before neglected the poore am ranked now in the number of them I who expected my heaven upon earth have here my hell that I may have heaven hereafter Why then should I murmur at this blessing from God and deeme this a losse which is sent for my advantage Surely if I doe but endeavour to vallew the joyes of eternitie I shall rejoyce at my deliverance from the possessions of the world Such hast did Zacheus make from the tree when my Saviour did promise to become his guest and with such contempt of the world did hee entertaine my Redeemer Lu 19.8 that hee said unto him Behould Lord the halfe of my goods I give to the poore and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation I restore him fowre fould That Sycomore tree which never before or since had fruite bare then a publicane ripened for Christianitie Unwilling should I have beene to have performed either of the promises of Zacheus when I enjoyed those vanities which I termed goods for I ever was as slow to the acts of charitie as to those of justice But what I kept from others is now taken from mee and what I was un-willing to restore is returned to the owner Shall I therfore reine at him because hee required his owne Shall I murmur at him for that fault which is mine Hee found mee false and would trust mee noe longer Must this his know ledg redound to his dishonour Shall I blame him for his discoverie of my false-hood and negligence and not rather ingeniously confesse the guilt of my wickednesse 'T is I 't is I that am unjust 't is hee 't is hee that is righteous and yet though I am unjust and hee is righteous my sinnes are punished to my greater advantage I am now in this povertie made liker unto him for to the Scribe hee said The foxes have holes Mat 8.20 and the birds of the aire have nests but the sonne of man hath not where on to lay his head House hee had none yea and friend hee had none for even those did crucifie him whom hee came to redeeme One of his disciples became a traitour and when hee came to his owne Io 1.11 his owne receaved him not When hee was hungrie instead of figges hee found nothing but leaves Mat 21 19. and at another time hee contented him selfe with a piece of a broyled fish Luc 24 42. and an hony-kombe When hee was thirstie hee was offered vineger to drinke Io 19.29 Mat 27 28.31 and never was it knowne that his garment was changed save when the Iewes put on him the skarlet roabe and when they had mocked him they tooke't from him againe The disciple is not above his master c 10.24 nor the servant above his Lord. If hee be my master I shall be contented with my povertie if hee be my Lord I shall rejoyce in my losses Povertie is the liverie which his servants weare but this povertie is seated more in spirit then in purse for those hee pronounced truely blessed and to them hee promised the kingdome of heaven Mat 5.3 The poore that are wicked hee double hate's both because they neglect their common dueties and for contemning that poverty which hee send 's for a blessing Those who have least of temporall goods should most be busied about things eternall The rich have some plea for neglecting his service because they are busied in managing their estates but the poore have noe pretence for failing in their dueties to whom God hath afforded nothing for their hinderance Is 66.2 To this man will I looke saith God hin selfe even to him that is poore Yet hee stayeth not here but farther describeth what poore hee intendeth and saith Even him that is of a contrite spirit and trembleth at my word Prov 19.1 It is onely the poore man walking in his integritie who is better then hee that is perverse in his lipps The prophet doeth promise that The meeke shall increase their joy
in the Lord Is 29.19 and the poore among men shall rejoyce in the holy one of Israel But this promise belongeth onely to the godly If my God will but vouchsafe to sanctifie my povertie I shall be richer then those who have the world at command Iam 2.5 for hee hath chosen the poore of this world rich in faith and heires of the Kingdome which hee hath promised to them that love him If I can be sure of heaven I shall never care for the treasures of the earth Make mee thy child ô God by grace then I shall willingly passe through povertie to unspeakeable glory The world may scorne mee but it shall not ruine mee Povertie is contemptible but it may end in riches True it is that now I am fallen into this decay I must expect the frownes and scorne of the people But what of that Earthly honour is but the fondnesse of opinion and the credit of the world is as falsely grounded as suddainly lost The sporting winds that tosse the ships upon the swelling ocean doe often convert their passe-time into furie and sinke at once both the ship and the adventurer The idolatrous Mammonist that worship 's his coyne is sometimes bereft of his speechlesse idoll by the fellonious robber Stormes or waters or time and age can cause our proudest structures to fal upon their knees and when that is gone which purchased our credit our contempt is as greate as once was our honour The world doe's reverence none but those who are accounted rich It is just in our times as it was in the dayes when the Apostle lived Iam 2.2 If there come into an assembly a man with a gold ring in goodly apparell and there come in allso a poore man in vile raiment vers 3. They have respect to him that weareth the gay cloathing and say unto him Sit thou here in a good place And say to the other Stand thou here or sit under his footestoole But for this Saint Iames say's They are partiall in them selves and are become judges of evill thoughts vers 4. If I derive my honour from the God of honour I shall never vallew how low the world esteeme's mee The Elme and the Ash are as apt for service as the Cedar and the Cypresse The coursest cloath afford's more warmth then the taffaties and sattaines Those bodies that glitter in gold tissue shall appeare as naked at the greate tribunall as the poorest beggar The humble and meeke have more content in the meanest cottage then the prowde and ambitious in the towring edifices The coursest bread with the blessing of God can nourish the body as well as the whitest and purest manchet Suppose I should be driven to begge my foode would not that which I sued for as well satisfie my hunger as if it had beene bought and procured by my coyne If yet I should aske and be denyed when the violence of hunger command's mee to petition howsoever I have thus much to quiet my mind that the more I pine the more neere I draw to the place of delight for when I am out of the world I shall inherit a kingdome What difference is there betweene guift and price It alters not the thing but onely varie's the manner of our getting the thing If I beg for necessaries they are as apt for use as those that I can buy Againe I begge but of those to whom they are lent If I speede in my suite my thanks must be first directed to God by whose bountie I receave and next unto man for fullfilling his duety If I am denyed what I aske I must know that the hand of providence is in that denyall for though the devill may worke in him that refuseth yet God doeth speake to mee in the repulse Hunger and thirst and cold and nakednesse all are but tryalls of my patience and hasteners of my deliverance If creditours should deprive mee of my beloved liberty I should but be eased from wandering abroad in the wearisome world The iron gates have not strength and power to shutt out my God Hee spake to Ieremiah Ier 39.15 Act 5.19 Prov 22.27 and comforted the Apostles when they were locked up in the prisons If those people to whom I am indebted should be so mercilesse as to take away the very bed from under mee when I have nothing to pay peradventure I might sleepe as well upon the earth that beares mee as those that lye on their beds of downe The Patriarch Iacob had but the ground for his couch Gen 28 11. and the stones for his pillow when in his sweetest sleepe hee was promised by God the land where hee lay vers 13 Yet peradventure I may be eased of this miserie too if I addresse my complaint to the defender of the poore 2. King 4.1 When the widdow of the prophet cryed to Elisha and sayd Thy servant my husband is dead and thou knowest that thy servant did feare the Lord and the creditour is come to take my two sonnes unto him to be bondmen vers 6. vers 7. even then Elisha multiplyed her oyle and with that shee satisfied her hungrie creditour Poverty hath beene frequently the object of pittie yea and sometimes allso the ground of plenty When Ierusalem was taken by Nebuchad-nezzar King of Babylon Ier 39.10 Nebuzaradan the Captaine of the guard left the poore of the people which had nothing in the land of Iudak and to them hee gave both vine-yards and fields God hath ever beene a protectour of the poore that were faithfull and relieved their indigencie Rom. 15.26 when they trusted in him It pleased them of Macedonia and Achaia sayth Saint Paul to make a certaine contribution for the poore saints at Ierusalem Hee tooke away my riches that I might depend upon him and that finding the uncertainty of earth I might rely upon heaven Mat 6.25 Hee command's mee to take noe thought for my life what I shall eate or what I shall drinke nor yet for my body what I shall put on vers 30 The life is more them meate and the body then raiment Surely if hee cloathe's the grasse of the field which to day is and to morrow is cast into the oven much more am I certaine that hee will cloath his servants From him proceedeth every good guift Iam 1.17 Hee will either send mee what I desire or else hee will cause mee not to desire what hee resolve's not to send mee Whatsoever hee giveth hee intendeth it for his honour If I may honour him by hunger or thirst or whatsoëver sufferance his is the glory mine shall be the reward Those are not rich whom the world so esteemeth Content is certainly the best riches and that is onely proper to the godly Reu 3.17 Laodicea said I am rich and increased with goods and have neede of nothing but alasse shee was miserable and wretched and poore and blind
ceremeniall law yea a Priest himselfe was allowed these acts so naturall and pious Though touching the Nazarites the command was strickt which the Lord delivered unto Moses Num. 6 1. vers 2. saying Say unto the children of Israel when either man or woman shall seperate themselves to vow a vow of a Nazarite to seperate themselves unto the Lord vers 6. all the dayes that hee seperateth himselfe unto the Lord hee shall come at noe dead body vers 7. hee shall not make himselfe un-cleane for his father or for his mother for his brother or for his sister when they dye because the consecration of his God is upon his head Yet whereas the law said Eze 44 25. The Priests shall come at noe dead person to defile themselves it ran with this exception But for father or for mother or for sonne or for daughter for brother or for sister that hath had noe husband they may defile themselves And againe concerning the common people the law provideth saying Num 19.16 Whosoever toucheth one that is slaine with the sword in the open fields or a dead bodie or a bone of a man or a grave shall be uncleane but the time of his un-cleanesse was to continue but seaven dayes That law hath now noe power to oblige us who are under the Gospel I may touch my dead parent and embrace him yea and kisse him at least in my thoughts when I cannot come to his body And so I will and if there remaine any un-cleanesse in my cogitations I will purifie I will wash it away with the bath of my teares Allthough my sorrowes cannot call him from the grave yet they have power both to discover mine affection and to satisfie my desires Heb 11 35. In ancient times women had their dead raised to life againe This indeede is too much for mee to expect yet it will not be too much for mee to mourne with those women who were afterward thus comforted But then I must be just in my mourning As my love may lawfully be shewed in my teares so must my religion be manifested in my moderation It was a curse upon the Iewes which the Prophet pronounced when hee said Men shall not teare themselves for them in mourning Ier. 16.7 to comfort them for the dead neither shall men give them the cupp of consolation to drinke for their father or for their mother I must not exceede the bounds of modestie in my cryes lamentations but I must drinke rather of the cupp of consolation and hearken to the advice and counsell of my comforters Nature indeede may be seene in a teare and heard in a sigh but if those teares be too many or those sighes too frequent or too lowde my very sorrowes may be sinfull for my want of patience Hee for whom I grieve is better then my selfe and his condition is full of joy and delight why then should I mourne too excessively as if hee were lost why should I grieve too immoderately as if I despaired of a father Hee is gone to a place where hee is freed from sorrowes and can dye noe more onely I am on earth in a valley of teares but I shall have a time to dye too and be gathered unto him In heaven saith Saint Iohn there shall be noe more death Reu. 21.4 neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more paine for the former things are passed away My Redeemer saith that they which shall be accounted worthy to obtaine that world Luc. 20 35. the resurrection from the dead neither marrie nor are given in mariage neither can they dye any more vers 36 for they are equall unto the Angells and are the children of God being the children of the resurrection VVhy then should I lament for him who needeth not my sorrowes and my teares are but a fruitlesse disturbance of my selfe If I am troubled at the losse of a friend so deare I must rather labour to be beloved of my God who is so good I shall one day learne with holy Iob Iob. 17 14. to say to corruption Thou art my father and to the worme Thou art my mother and my sister There is yet something earthly therfore which I shall acknowledge a parent but I must take heede that nothing upon earth doeth make mee an idolater The house of Israel was once so sottish as to say to a stock Ier 2.27 Thou art my father to a stone Thou hast brought mee forth This were a stupid madnesse in mee if I should so dis-honour the memorie of my father as to make the timber succeede him in my reverence But more impious it would prove if I should reject my heavenly father and insteed of him I should honour as Israel did a stock or a stone The greater that my losse is in my deceased parent the more must be my obedience to the father of lights Iam. 1.17 Heb. 12 9. Hee who is and must be the father of my spirit did lend unto mee for a time the father of my flesh Hee hath allso taken from mee my naturall parent that my thoughts may be ever fixed upon him with whom hee dwelleth If my trust be in God my comforts will abound my sorrowes will decrease If my name be written among the righteous my share shall be equall to theirs in the protection of my God Hee hath ever beene mercifull to them that were fatherlesse so that they relyed on his providence and served him with faithfullnesse Ps 27.10 Ps 68.5 When my father and my mother forsake mee saith the Psalmist then the Lord will take mee up a father of the fatherlesse is God in his holy habitation O that I might have the honour to be his child that so I might justly call him father O that I could truely say unto him Thou art my father my God Ps 89.26 Is 63.16 Ier. 3.19 2. Cor. 6.18 and the rock of my salvation O that I could faithfully say Thou ô Lord art my father my Redeemer thy name is from ever-lasting O that I could call him my father and not turne away from him His mercies are greate his promises are full of comfort I will be a father unto you and yee shall be my sonnes and daughters saith the Lord All-mighty O what shall I doe that I may be sure to be adopted into the number of his children Alas as I am I have but litle hope of it for hee is pure but I am un-cleane but I will wash my selfe with my teares of repentance and beseech his Sonne to cleanse mee with his blood Hee is righteous but I am sinfull but I will confesse my wickednesse Ps 38.18 and be sorrie for my sinnes and then I am sure hee will aboundantly pardon Lord though I have beene thine enemie thou canst make mee thy friend though I have hated thee thou canst incline mee to love thee though I have beene rebellious thou
like so many cobwebs in every corner thereof I would have it cleane from all evill counsells that it may performe a new obedience to my God I would have it true too as well as cleane Hebr. 10.22 not onely sprinkled from an evill conscience and my body washed with pure water but I would have it true allso that I may draw neere with it unto the Lord in full assurance of faith Prov. 19.8 I would have it wise to with-stand all evill motions and affections because hee that getteth wisedome in heart loveth his owne soule and hee that keepeth understanding shall live 1. King 3.6 I would have it upright for so David who was a man after Gods owne heart walked before the Lord in trueth and in righteousnesse and in uprightnesse of heart and then I shall be sure to have it defended Ps 7.10 for my defence shall be of God which saveth the upright in heart I would have it enlightened 2. Cor. 4.6 I would have God who commanded the light to shine out of darknes shine in my heart to give the light of the knowledg of the glory of God in the face of Iesus Christ 2. Pet. 1 19. I would have the day dawne and the day starre arise in my heart for onely such an enlightened heart can be able to perceave Deu. 29 4. and cause mine eyes to see and mine cares to heare it is onely such a heart that can understand it was onely such a heart as the wise understanding King Solomon prayed for 1. King 3.9 Ps 86.11 Rom. 10.10 Dan. 7.9 O what a happinesse should I enioy could I but prevail with God for such a heart Such a heart as should be united to feare his name that so with it I might believe unto righteousnesse Surely hee who is the ancient of dayes hee who cryed by the mouth of his holy Euangelist saying Rev. 21 5. Behould I make all things new even hee and hee alone can thus renew can give mee such a new and good heart It will not be new to him though it be so to mee for his it is of ould though not mine I looke for a new heaven and a new earth where in dwelleth righteousnesse 2 Pet. 3.13 and I looke for it according to his owne promise but what good will that doe mee unlesse my earth my heart be first made new unlesse I have also a new heaven first in that heart unlesse I have a new heart Mat. 27 60. Christ was layed in a new tombe hewen out of a rock where in never was any man lay before My ould heart is a rock as hard as heavy impenitrable as a rock yet it exceedeth not the power of the All-mighty even out of that rock to hew a new tombe a tombe wherein the ould man never lay and there if hee please hee can place my Iesus I am like a lumpe of dough Mat. 16 12. 1. Cor. 7.5.8 vers 6. vers 7. sowred with the leaven of the Pharisees with the leaven of mallice and wickednesse and alasse I know that a litle of that leaven leaveneth the whole lumpe but hee can purge out that ould leaven that I may be a new lumpe but then I must moisten â—t with my teares and kneade it with contrition And why should I not Why should I not cry for such a heart Why should I not begge and intreate and weepe and mourne for such a new heart Children are apt to cry for every new thing which they see or heare of If God would be pleased to make mee his â—hild I should not neede to cry for such a new heart hee would freely and quickly give it mee But yet certainly I must cry for it before hee will give it Teares are the counters by which my prayers my desires must be numbered even all my petitions which I tender unto him for a heart so new In ancient times the Clepsydra's or hower-glasses were not filled with sand but water and time was measured by the drops which fell from them Thus must I measure my time too even by the drops which fall from the glasse from the chrystall of mine eyes for my want of this heart Though formerly I have beene so exceeding drie as to measure with sand ' yet now I must dissolve into an account by my teares Surely such a heart as I pant for is a most pretious jewell and yet my God cannot choose but trust mee with it if I sollicit him with my teares in the name of his Sonne Hee can even congeale my teares into orientall pearles and so turne them into jewells and having heightened the vallew of those precious pearles for them hee can lend mee that heart which I sue for I desire but the loane of it I would not for all the world have it wholly mine for then I am sure I should presently spoile it I would but borrow it Mal. 3.17 and in that day when hee maketh up his jewells I would restore it him againe I know that hee would so delight in it if I keepe it tenderly and charily that hee would weare it in his eare hee would heare the cry of it as hee heard the cry of the children of Israel Ex. 2.23 vers 24 by reason of their bondage Well if that be the way to gett such a jewell a jewell so inestimable so pretious if I may gett it by crying surely I will Weepe I will cry With Ioseph Gen. 43 30. I will make hast my bowells shall yearne within mee I will seeke where to weepe I will enter into my chamber and weepe there Hee hath given such a jewell to others and why may not I as well hope to prevaile as others have done Hee hath enough of them hee make's them hee makes them at any time and that easily too very easily onely with a word of his mouth Therfore I will cry with a greate and exceeding bitter cry Gen. 27 34. vers 38 and say unto him Father blesse mee even mee allso ô my father I will lift up my voyce and weepe and will say unto him Hast thou but one blessing my father Blesse mee even mee allso ô my father Ier. 3.21 Vpon the high places was once heard both a weeping and a supplication allso of the children of Israel I will weepe too towards the high place towards the seate of my God every teare shall have a tongue every tongue shall cry for this heart which I want Or â—f all that will not doe Iam. 3.5 then this litle unruely member which hath boasted so great things this litle fire that would formerly kindle so great matters shall now burne with Zeale of my desires and with it I will pray and say The Prayer RIghteous father Ier. 17.10 who searchest the hearts and tryest the reines and in that search doest find my corrupted heart to be full of pollution and uncleanesse vouchsafe I beseech thee to
is short If I could possibly be as ould if I could live as long as from time to time from the beginning of time to the end of time frō the creation of the world to the dissolution of the world yet all this time would not be long yea it would be nothing in comparison of eternitie It would not be the hundred thousand thousand thousand thousandth part so much as one graine of sand is to the whole earth to the whole world and all therein conteined allthough the world should be a million of millions of thousands of millions of times greater then it is or could be accounted by Arithmetick Well then I can have but my life in earthly things and perhaps not that neither in those things which I desire they will not be mine for ever noe for they shall not endure for ever but that which is eternall shall be for ever and ever world without end I meane not this world without end for this shall have an end but I meane that other world that better world the world to come eternall in the heavens Sinfull I was even before I was before I was in the world for I had the staine of originall corruption even in my mother's belly and then I was not or not in this world for so our common speech goe's yea so our Saviour him selfe doeth say allso A woman Io 16.21 when shee is in her travaile hath sorrow because her howre is come but as soone as she is delivered of the child shee remembreth noe more the anguish for joy that a man is borne into the world Our yeeres are constantly reckoned not from our conceptions for then wee were imperfect noe nor from the time of life from the time wee were first quick when our soules were at once both created and infused into us and yet then wee were guiltie of originall pollution but as if wee were not worthy to be sayd to be untill wee may beginne to be more sinfull our age is onely reckoned from our first societie with sinners The simple world account's that wee have beene but just so long as wee have beene companions together in the view of men so if men were to number my transgressions and had both power and skill to summe them up they would begin but at my birth onely at that time when they began to corrupt mee but God will beginne at my beginning at the first time that I receaved a soule and from that very instant shall my soule be accountable for all my sinns But if hee be so strickt as to beginne with my originall uncleanesse when I knew it not oh what will hee say to mine actuall abominations which I both did and doe know So many actuall sinns I have committed that I cannot number them so greate and grievous actuall sinnes that I cannot estimate them All my former time hath indeede beene wholly mine none of it was God's But what good have I done to or for my selfe in all this time Iust none at all nay on the contrarie infinite hurt infinite injurie for I have not onely dishonoured my God and offended my neighbour but allso I have every moment made my selfe more lyable to eternall damnation But shall I have my time and shall not God have his too Yes yes hee hath all this while had his time Rom 2 4. his time of patience and forbearance and long-suffering dayly expecting my repentance and conversion But this was rather my time then his for it was for my good in that hee spared mee And shall not hee yet have his time Some other time Yes hee will have it Hee will have a time of visiting the proude for so hee threatned Babylon by the mouth of his Prophet saying Ier 50.31 Behould I am against thee ô thou most proude saith the Lord God of hostes for thy day is come the time that I will visite thee I have beene proude with Babylon justly therfore may I expect that God should visit mee as hee visited Babylon Hee will have a time of vengeance C 51.6 for so saith the Prophet too Flee out of the middest of Babylon and deliver every man his soule◠be not cutt off in her iniquity for this is the time of the Lord's vengeance hee will render unto her a recompense I have lived all this while in Babylon and I have sinned with Babylon and justly therfore might I be destroyed with Babylon But the goodnesse of my God hath hitherto spared mee his kindnesse is greater then I can meritt or requite or vallew for though hee had his time of vengeance against Babylon yet his time of mercie continueth to mee in calling mee to flee from out of the middest of her Hee did call before but I heard not before for though the sillie birds and the fowles doe know their times and seasons yet I knew not my time when God called for my conversion C 8.7 The Storke in the heaven knoweth her appointed times and the Turtle and the Crane and the Swallow observe the time of their coming but I poore I simple I did not know the judgments of the Lord. Hee will allso have a time of calling every one to an account for their sinnes and that time hee may take when soëver hee pleaseth yea and so hee doeth too for every day some or other doe appeare at his tribunall This time hee might have taken against mee allso all this while while I have lived in my sinnes for I did not watch Mar 13 33. and pray though I knew not when the time would be After judgment hee will have a time of execution too but hee deferr's hee delay 's both judgment execution This was well knowne even unto those two possessed with Devills Mat. 8 28. in the countrie of the Gergesenes which met my Redeemer as they were coming out of the tombes exceeding fierce so that noe man might passe by that way for they cryed out saying vers 29 What have wee to doe with thee Iesus thou sonne of God Art thou come hither to torment us before the time O let the time of vengeance put mee in mind of my sinnes and what I have deserved justly by them Mat 13 25. Yet lest Sathan should sowe tares among my wheate lest hee should tempt mee to despaire when I prepare to repent let mee as well consider that God hath a time of love too as hatred of mercy as of fury Thus the Apostle telleth mee Gal 4.4 When the fullnesse of time was come God sent forth his sonne made of a woman vers 5. made under the law To redeeme them that were under the law that wee might receave the adoption of sonnes O what a blessed time of love was this when his owne sonne his onely sonne his sonne of his bosome was sent to redeeme such wicked and ungodly wretches as I poore creature am Ierusalem found a time of love too of infinite love when
and seduce ever since hee conquered the first innocent hee shall continue his suggestions so long as men shall continue in the world and yet for all this his time is sayd to be but short for so sayth St Iohn Rev. 12 12. Woe to the inhabitants of the earth and of the sea for the Devill is come downe unto you having greate wrath because hee knoweth hee hath but a short time If his time be short which is much longer then mine what then is mine which is but a moment in comparison of his And yet this moment may be a portall to erernitie if I so behave my selfe as allways proviâ—ing to live eternally But how shall I setle my selfe to be thus provided I would spend my time well but that I account it a sinne to spend my time for if my life be â—ood my time is not spent but gotten I would leade my life in the commandements of my God this I ought to doe but I am not forward to doe it True it is that those which live well may be truely sayd to leade their lives they walke gently therfore surely but those that live ill doe spend their lives they spend them prodigally they consume them â—ainely How then shall I leade my life that I may live for ever Certainly I must not doe as the world doth I must not measure my life by either the length or variety of discourses I must not determine to trifle out an hower in vaine society and purposely addresse my selfe to companies apt to bereave mee of my fleeting time The tongue cannot walke so speedily as the moments can poast I must not therfore instruct my tongue to hasten the howers in vaine discourses for that very hower which I resolve to sacrifice â—n common and sinnfull language may peradventure be the last which God hath â—lotted mee If so it should prove much better it were that I should lay it out in repentance then charge it to my sinfull account which I must suddainly balance Nor may I thinke away my time it must not be worne out by pensive and distracting melancholly such as the Devill is apt to teach and thereto to annexe a kind of delight Noe thought is free but that which is godly Noe melancholly is justifiable but that which proceede's from a penitent sinner Every thought not fixed on goodnesse is but a spurr to hasten the time and an addition to my debts I must therfore enter into my selfe as I doe into my garden I must roote out the weedes the evill and un-hallowed cogitations but cherish the flowers the religious and devoute meditations There is a way so to spend the time as to gaine by the losse so to give it as to to get advantage by the guift and that is by giving or rather by rendering it back to the donour This is done by imploying my litle my speedie time in the service of my God which being done hee will reward mee with eternitie when time shall be forgotten Noe time is better spent then that which is spent in a sorrow for sinne This time therefore which is lent mee I will re-pay back againe in repentance for my sinnes I have knitted up a life but the stitches are false or broken I will therfore ravell it out againe in the exa mination of my errours I have woven up a life full of falsehood and misse-takes but I will unweave the webbe by enquiring into my severall breaches mine enormities I was borne to worke not hereafter but here Lord graunt that whilest I am here Phil. 2.12 I may worke out my saluation with feare and trembling I was borne to runne to runne a race not hereafter but here Lord graunt that whilest I am here I may so runne 1. Cor. 9.24 that hereafter I may obtaine I was borne to contend not hereafter but here Lord graunt that whilest I am here I may so strive that I may get the masterie 2. Tim. 2.5 hereafter obtaine an incorruptible crowne of glory I must worke labour in repentance I must runne in faith I must strive in hope and all this must be done in this litle skantling of time which is measured to mee upon earth Alasse when I shall be snatched away from these earthly imployments noe more time will be allotted mee for either repentance or faith or hope Noe noe If I goe to heaven there I shall have noe neede of repentance If I goe to hell there I shall not have power to repent In heaven both faith and hope shall have their perfect consummation and be turned into knowledg fruition In hell shall be neither faith in Christ nor hope by Christ This life is the time in which I must provide for the life to come O what would not Cain or Iudas or any other of the damned in hell give if yet they had any thing to give for but one of these howers which I trifle away How would they presently fall upon their knees if an hower of repentance were lent unto them and howle cry and teare and roare all they would account too litle if yet they had hopes by repentance to be freed from their torments This I reade and this I cannot choose but believe O what care ought I then to take to spend my whole time in repentance whilest I am here lest hereafter I should have a portion with those impenitent wretches in the land of horrour Whilest I am here I have hope if yet I have grace but if once the sentence be passed there will be noe re-voking it when the soule shall be departed there will be noe returning Eccl 9.4 vers 5. To him say's Solomon that is joyned to all the living there is hope for the living know that they shall dye but the dead know not any thing neither have they any more a reward Every one here is alotted a time to spend in repentance to which they are strongly perswaded eveÌ„ by the remembrance of death but when once they are dead all hope of effectuall godly sorrow is but vaine and as vaine is the hope of mercy for their cryes vers 10 c 11.3 There is noe worke nor device nor knowledg nor wisedome in the grave whither they goe If the tree fall toward the South or toward the North in the place where the tree falleth there it shall be Graunt therfore ô my God that I may seeke thee now whilest thou mayest be found Is 55.6 and call upon thee whilest thou art neere Make mee worship thee here and pray to the here and weepe to thee heere and believe in thee heere and hope in thee here Gal 6.7 Ps 126.5 Mat 29.23 and love thee here for whatsoever I sow that I shall be sure to reape I will therfore sow in prayers and in teares here and then I shall be sure to reape in joy hereafter even to enter into the joy of my Lord. part 3 The third part Of
the Soliloquie A resolution for the time to come VVHile the earth remaineth sayth the Lord to Noah seede time and harvest cold and heate summer and winter Gen 8.22 day and night shall not cease This is a faithfull promise of the true God and therfore cannot be questioned or doubted by Christians But how long shall these seasons last Onely as long as the earth remaineth And how long shall the earth remaine God onely knoweth that it is not in the power or reach of the wisest upon earth to limit the time thereof A time will come Mat 24 35. when heaven and earth shall passe away when the Sunne shall be darkened and the Moone shall not give her light vers 29 and the Starres shall fall from heaven and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken but of that day vers 36 and hower knoweth noe man noe not the Angells in heaven but the Father onely The earth I know shall have a time of dissolution and her funerall piles shall be kindled and fired by him Is 30.33 whose breath like a streame of brimstone doth kindle Tophet Yet though I know not how soone this time shall be expired I hope it may be deferred for many ages and so peradventure it may be But what if it be What can the delaying thereof advantage mee How many ages have passed since the creation of the world How many millions of people have had their successions since the death of Abel I neither was created with the first nor for any thing I know shall I remaine with the last If therfore the earth and the seasons of the earth shall continue a thousand yeares if yet I live not out that thousand yeares what can the age of the world advantage mee Why then doe I fasten my hopes upon future times Why doe I confidently reckon upon yeeres to come or moneths or weekes or dayes Nay why upon to morrow Why upon an hower Why upon a minuit There is nothing more sure then that my former dayes are past and gone and may not be re-called Nothing is more certaine then that the present instant is short and cannot continue And nothing againe is more uncertaine to mee then the future time whereon I depend Moreover If I were sure to live a certaine proportion and number of dayes or weekes or moneths 2. King 20.6 if I were sure that the Lord would adde unto my dayes fifteene yeares as hee did to Hezekiahs yet how doe I know that hee would give mee grace to repent in those fifteene yeeres An impenitent life is but a living death and which is worst of all after that cometh judgment Heb 9.27 If then I vainely flatter my selfe with a hope that my life shall be prolonged and relying upon the broken reede of that deceaving hope if I deferre my repentance I doe but hope that God will lengthen my dayes that I may increase my sinnes so by consequence that my punishment may be increased There is indeede a sort of coveteous people in the world which promise to themselves a continuance of their lives that they may increase their riches These are they which say Iam 4 13. To day or to morrow wee will goe into such a citty and continue there a yeare and buy and sell and gett gaine vers 14 whereas as the Apostle saith they know not what shall be to morrow For what is our life It is even a vapour that appeareth for a litle time and then vanisheth away And there is a sort of luxurious Atheists and Epicures which say Come yee Is 56.12 I will fetch wine and wee will fill our selves with strong drinke and to morrow shall be as this day and much more aboundant Wised 2.5 These are they which say Our time is a very shadow that passeth away and after our end there is noe returning for it is fast sealed that noe man cometh againe vers 6. Come on therfore let us enjoy the good things that are present and let us speedily use the creatures vers 7. like as in youth Let us fill our selves with costly wine and ointments and let noe flower of the spring passe us vers 8. Let us crowne our selves with rose-buds before they be withered vers 9. Let none of us goe without his part of voluptuousnesse let us leave tokens of our joyfullnes in every place for this is our portion and our lott is this And these are they which like the rich Epicure in the Gospel say unto their Soules Lu 12.19 Soule thou hast much goods layed up for many yeares take thine ease eate drinke and be merry All these suppose that man was created onely for meates and not meates for man They conceave that every one shall have a time of pleasure and wickedly they seeke it in the vanitie of the creatures But oh that both they and I might ever have those words of the All mighty sounding in our eares vers 20 Thou foole this night thy soule shall be required of thee and then whose shall those things be which thou hast provided This night Lord Yes this very hower this very instant thou mayst strike mee dead then as death leaves mec judgment shall find mee O it will be a time of horrour and amazement to those that prepare not for to those that expect not his comeing 1. Pet. 4.17 Saint Perer sayd long agoe that The time is come that judgment must beginne at the house of God and if it first beginne at us Lord put mee into that number what shall the end be of them that obey not the Gospel of God And if the righteous scarcely be saved vers 18 where shall the ungodly and sinners appeare Hearke Doest thou heare that ô my soule The righteous shall scarcely be saved This is true for it is the word of trueth It was inspired by his Spirit who sayd Straite is the gate Mat 7.14 and narrow is the way that leadeth to life and few there be that find it O how I tremble when I reade that scarcely and that few What shall I doe to be one of those few allthough I obtaine it never so hardly allthough I know that I shall scarcely attaine to it Lord I will repent but doe thou assist mee Lord I will be faithfull but doe thou increase my faith Lu 17.5 I will doe I say When How Am I sure of any time but the present moment Or can I stay the present instant and hinder it from flying Noe noe I cannot By thy grace therfore blessed God even now this very instant I doe repent and am unfeignedly sorrowfull for all mine offences this very moment I doe believe all that thou hast spoken in thy holy word I doe believe thee I doe believe in thee ô Lord helpe thou my un-beliefe Mar 9.24 If I shall have any more minuits allotted mee I wil number them with my teares
eate the bread of sorrowes for so wee give our beloved sleepe and why then should I delight in vanitie Prov. 6 10. Yet a litle sleepe therfore a litle slumber a litle folding of the hands to sleepe But hearke What 's that Mee think's I heare some-body call and say How long wilt thou sleepe vers 9. ô sluggard When wilt thou arise out of thy sleepe Yes I did heare some-body call so indeede It was none other but God himselfe by the mouth of King Solomon Even the same who telleth mee that If I doe not arise vers 11 then shall povertie come upon mee as one that travaileth and my want as an armed man c. 20.13 I must not love sleepe therfore lest I come to povertie but I must open mine eyes and I shall be satisfied with bread Well then I 'le rubb mine eyes and rowze up my selfe and bethinke my selfe of my businesse but first I will thinke upon the first upon the best upon God I have reason to give him the first the chiefest roome in my meditations because I layd mee downe and slept Ps 3.5 and againe I am now awaked and all this through the mercy and goodnesse of the Lord who sustained mee Hee preserved mee who neither slumbereth Ps 121.4 Ps 44.23 nor sleepeth allthough David cryeth out to him and saith Awake why sleepest thou ô Lord Arise cast us not off for ever But this was onely through the fervencie of his devotion in a time of severe persecution and affliction for at another time it was hee himselfe who confessed Ps 111.4 that Hee which keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleepe Surely hee may more properly call out from heaven to mee then David upon earth did to him in heaven and say Awake why sleepest thou Yea so indeede hee doeth promiseth mee and offereth mee the morning starre to light mee But it is upon condition that I must first overcome Overcome What Must I overcome my sleepe That I have done Must I over-come mine enemies Those I am commanded to love Mat. 5.44 Yet I must over-come mine enemies my sinnes and I must allso over-come my selfe Ps 18.28 the sinner and then I am sure hee will light my candle as hee did Davids The Lord my God will inlighten my darknesse hee will give mee comfort joy and prosperitie after my trouble Nay a candle shall not serve my turne hee hath promised to give mee a starre the morning starre which shall both enlighten my soule with the brightnesse of divine knowledg in this morning of a happinesse begunne and allso enlighten mee hereafter in the morning of the generall re-surrection when my body shall be glorified together with my soule I shall shine as the starres for ever and ever Dan. 12 3. Hee will give mee the morning starre to enlighten mee not to torment mee The prince of darknesse was once an Angel of light and then even hee was a morning stame but now I may say with the Prophet Is 14.12 verf. 13 How art thou fallen from heaven ô Lutifier sonne of the morning How art thou cutt dowme to the ground which saydest in thine heart I will exalt my throne above the starres of God! This starre I hope hee will not suffer to deceave mee with his false and deluding light for his glaring is but a counterfeit light and his leading tend's to the burning brimstone Noe hee will give mee a better starre even him who came to be a light to lighten the Gentiles Lu. 2.32 and to be the glorie of the people Israel even the Prophet of the highest C. 1.76 Vers 79 who giveth light to them that sâ—tt in darknesse and in the shadow of death And who is that but hee which professeth himselfe to be the roote Reu. 22 16. and the off-spring of David and the bright and the morning starre Hee himselfe hath shewed mee what I should doe hee hath taught mee by his owne example what dueties I should performe for I find it recorded of him that In the morning Mar. 1.35 rising up early a greate while before day hee went out and departed into a solitarie place and prayed So should I doe too I should doe so now for it is now about the same time or at most it differeth not much I will therfore arise I will arise out of my sinnes by his blessing I will arise out of them before day even before the day of the Lord cometh 2. Pet. 3 10. and I will goe out of them or force them out of mee I will depart from them into a solitarie place and retire to my meditations and be both solitarie and sorrowfull for all the offences which I have committed and then I will pray I will pray for forgivenesse through the meritts of him who prayed so early Or if I am too weake to master my selfe in this holy resolution I will besiech him that I may be as Simon Mar 1.36 and those that were with him that I may at leastwise follow after him Surely hee can so illuminate my thoughts that I may see thereby to performe my duety It was that morning starre which enlightened David and made him take up that holy resolution Ps 5.3 saying My voyce shalt thou heare in the morning ô Lord in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee and will locke up It was hee who enlightened him to put in practise that very resolution for hee himselfe testifieth of himselfe Ps 130.6 saying My soule wayteth for the Lord more then they that watch for the morning I say more then they that watch for the morning It was that morning starre which enlightened the people Luc 21 â—8 that they might all see to come to him early into the temple to heare him Ps 119 147. It was that morning starre againe which enlightened David when hee prevented the dawning of the morning and cryed when hee hoped in his word It was that morning starre which gave light unto Ioshua and the people Ios 6.15 vers 20 when they compassed Iericho on the seaventh day early about the dawning of the day seaven times after which the wall fell downe flatt so that the people went up into the citty every one straite before him and tooke the citty So will I wayte for him so will I prevent the dawning of the morning so will I direct my prayer unto him so will I heare him in his temple and so will I encompasse Iericho about the dawning of the day the citty of Satan the â—trong hold of the Serpent even mine owne â—icked and corrupted heart which hath so â—ong stood out against my God and I will never leave compassing it with my teares and my sighes and my pensive and sorrowfull thoughts untill the wall fall downe untill the stonie rampard thereof yeeld unto the commandements of my Lord and my maker But on the contrarie certainly that morning starre
did not give light to the companie which were in the ship with Saint Paul in the tempest when hee was bound towards Rome for they Act 27 29. fearing lest they should have fallen upon rocks cast fowre ankers out of the sterne and wished for the day True it is that every one in a storme will wish for Christ this morning starre and ready they are to take their astro-labe that so they may observe the height and the distance of him but yet are they apt to leave him in the tempest and to trust to their owne cables and ankers which they cast out at the sternes of their ship never considering the depth of the seas the fowlenesse of the anchorrage Every Christian even the most skillfull mariner is apt to runne a shore upon the world or to fall upon the leadges and rocks of trouble and temptation but who ancoor's his hopes in Christ Who fasteneth the flooke of his anchor in the wounds of the Crucified Lord give mee such a faith in thee that I may not believe in thee waveringly or hope in thee weakely or wish for thee faintly but that I may at all times and upon all occasions put my whole trust and confidence in thee Ps 42.1 and say with David As the Hart panteth after the water-brookes so panteth my soule after thee ô God Surely that morning starre did not give light to churlish Nabal 1. Sam. 25.37 when in the morning after the wine was gone out of him and his wife tould him all that was done his heart dyed within him and hee became as a stone Alasse every Nabel every worldling can be jocound and pleasant while they surfeit upon the vaine pleasures of this transitorie world they can be merrie and drunken very drunken with the be-witching cup and all the while they are such sonnes of Belial vers 17 that a man cannot speake to them But if once either by povertie sicknesse or any other calamitie they are awaked and their Abigails their consciences tell them that the most mighty hath girded his sword upon his thigh Ps 45.3 with glorie and majestie and is resolved to destroy them then like unto Nabal even their very hearts dye within them and are even as stones for want of the comfort and light of his morning starre These are they who in the morning say Deut 28.67 would God it were evening and at even they say Would God it were morning for the feare of their hearts wherewith they feare and for the sight of their eyes which then they see Iob 24.17 for the morning is to them even as the â—shadow of death if one know them they are in the terrours of the shadow of death Therfore will I besiech that bright morning starre Amos. 5.8 that hee will arise in my heart that I may seeke him that maketh the seaven starres and Orion and turneth the shadow of death into the morning and maketh the day darke with night the Lord is his name This is the time Iud 16.2 when the Philistines thought to have killed Samson after they had compassed him in and layd waite for him all night in the gate of the citty of Gaza and were silent all the night Lord if at any time I sleepe if I sleepe in my sinnes which doe thou ever prevent as thou doest forbid it how contented is Satan to let mee rest How silent hee is and will not disturbe mee But hee sitteth in the gate and watcheth and if at any time I be awaked by my God how doe's hee labour to destroy mee presently with suggestions to despaire or presumption This is the time when Moses was commanded by God to cary the two new tables of stone up to the Mount Ex 34.2 for God sayd unto him Be readie in the morning and come up in the morning unto mount Sinai and present thy selfe there to mee in the top of the mount Why may not this in some kind seeme to be spoken by God to mee too For I have one table at least and I feare that it is stone too but it is in his power to make it the fleshly table of my heart 2. Cor. 3.3 O that hee would call mee O that hee would draw mee up unto him to the top of the mount Hos 11.4 with the bands of love and that hee would doe it now this morning like as twice in one morning hee putt Moses in mind of the two tables O that hee would write his law in this table of my heart even with his owne finger that I might not sinne against him This is the time when the Angells hastened Lot to goe out of Sodome Gen. 19 15. It was when the morning arose that they said unto him Arise take thy wife and thy two daughters which are here lest thou he consumed in the iniquitie of the citty The blacknesse of the crimes of those lustfull citisens eclypsed the Sunne yet lest they should hope that their impieties could dazell the eyes of the all-seeing God they had a light from heaven to discover his wrath The sinnes of the people were retrograde to nature and their just punishment proceeded therfore from causes not rendered by the practise of nature The light body of the consuming fire was seene to descend and the sulphurious flames which might have beene conceaved to arise from the troubled bowells of the earth or from the land of darknesse descended in a stormie gust from heaven A mixed fire and stinke conlumed the transgressours yet was not the choaking smell of the burning sulphur so offensive and loathsome as the stench of their wickednesse Thus the fire of their uncleanesse was revenged by the fire of tormenting brimstone and just it was that the messengers of vengeance should discharge their office whom the lewde people would not receave without a lustfull attempt of their fowle desires Their punishment for their crimes began even in their offences for it was noe small severitie to suffer them to continue in their violation of nature Yet here it stayed not for they lost their sight because they saw not their faults and at even they wearied themselves to find the dore of that righteous man vers 11 being stricken with blindnesse by those ministers of revenge vers 23 This darke evening was yet but a presage of a gloomie morning for the vengence fell when the Sun arose and those horrid flashes of a blew and dazeling light served onely to lend them a sight of their scorched neighbours and so to increase and heighten their torments Assuredly if I well consider it I am not unlike to that Lot who was saved for with the Sodomites I live I am neighboured by the wicked O but am I just with Lot and with him 2. Pet. 2 7. am I vexed with their uncleane their filthie conversation O that I might so resemble Lot that I could avoyde the corruption of those whose society
I cannot shunne Alasse alasse I am yet in every thing unlike unto him for I sinne I have a pronenesse to sinne with the Sodomites yea and by nature I am as apt to give as to follow an example sometimes as ready to teach others how to offend as sometimes to follow and imitate their offences But ô I wish I earnestly begge I humbly besiech my mercifull Lord to send his Angells even this very morning to bring mee out of the sinnes and the societie of the Sodomites This is the time when the Angel of the Covenant said unto Iacob Gen. 32 26. after the wrestling Let mee goe for the day breaketh But Lacob answered and sayd I will not let thee goe except thou blesse mee Howsoever mee thinks I should be like unto Iacob and if I have neglected wrestling this night with the Angel yet now I should beginne I should wrestle and tugge and strive and hold fast by faith in my prayers and my teares too as Iacob did and not suffer him to goe untill hee hath blessed mee The Prophet assureth mee Hos 12 4. that hee had power over the Angel and prevailed hee wept and made supplication to him O so must I too so will I too But how can I possiblie either be a prince or especially such a prince as Israel was who as a prince had power with God Gen. 32 28. and with men and hee prevailed and was blessed Well 't is so I am resolved upon it 't is the right way I will pray and weepe and weepe and pray I will begge with my teares and I will begge with my tongue and I will begge with all my heart I will strive and pray and mourne and â—ry It shall be a clowdie morning it shall be a thick muddie low'ring morning Mee think's I beginne to feele a clowde even breake allready at mine eyes O come forth come forth a whole clowde of teares Knitt your selves into blacknesse and thicknesse Be fruitfull be pregnant and when your time is come be yee delivered in mine eyes I am not yet risen come quickly and I my selfe will bring you to bed 'T is good 't is wholesome even thus to wash my sinfull eyes betimes in a morning It is not fire nor aire that is predominant in the eyes but onely water Surely then I will weepe that I may see the cleerer the better not outwardly but inwardly not to looke downe-wards but upwards toward this blessing Angel Ps 6.7 Mine eye with David's shall be consumed because of griefe and then I doubt not but I shall conclude with his joy and truely say vers 8. The Lord hath heard the voyce of my weeping The second part Of the Soliloquie Fitted for one that is newly arisen FAre-well that bed of ease which would have betrayed mee both to sloath and povertie Fare-well to those curtaines devised to obscure the morning's light See see how that bewitching nest doeth yet retaine the print of my body as if it longed to entice mee againe to my sloath and wooed mee to make it the sepulcher of my living selfe I am now up and thanks let mee render to him that hath delivered mee once againe to the light of a morning Gen. 1.5 Hee that called the darknesse Night the light hee allso styled Day Hee promised Noah when hee came out of the Arke c 8.22 that While the earth remaineth seede time and harvest cold and heate summer and winter Day and Night shall not cease This his promise hee keepe 's Ps 19.1 for The heavens declare the glorie of God vers 2. and the firmament sheweth his handie worke Day unto Day uttereth speech Night unto night sheweth knowledg Yea hee is so sure in the performance of whatsoëver hee promiseth to his chosen servants that hee sendeth a challenge to the world Ier. 33.20 and saith Thus saith the Lord If yee can breake my covenant of the Day and my covenant of the Night and that there shall not be â—ay and Night in their season vers 2â— Then may allso 〈◊〉 covenant be broke with David Surely the â—e wee cannot and as surely the other hee â—ill not doe Iob. 41.18 Now the eye-lids of the morning â—e open and what can that teach mee but 〈◊〉 open mine eyes that I may see the goodâ—esse of the Lord in the cleernesse of the â—…y Mee think's it instruct's mee to say â—ith David It is a good thing to give thanks â—…to the Lord Ps 92.1 and to sing praises unto thy name 〈◊〉 most high vers 2. To shew forth thy loving kindnesse 〈◊〉 the morning and thy saithfullnesse every â—ight I will therfore follow the advice of â—he same Prophet will Sing unto the Lord â—nd blesse his name Ps 96.2 I will shew forth his salvaâ—on from day to day Yea Ps 59.16 I will sing of thy â—ower ô my God I will sing aloud of thy mercy â—n the morning for thou hast beene my defence His power I see in the performance of his covenant his mercy I see in bringing mee to the light O how the prettie Choristours of the woods doe sing their anthemes and in their musicall notes warble out the praises of the Creatour of the morne How the Easterne Sun doe's guild the mountaines with his radiant lustre and climb's by degrees higher into the heavens that it may with more direct beames both warme and enlighten mee Mee think's I am chidd by the quire in the aire for my tardie thanksgiving and the Sun would flinke behind a shaddowing clowde as unwilling to give light to one that hastens not to a celestiall rise Thus I behould the Sun arisen from the earth and surely mee thinks I should even out-vye it both in motion and place and faster should I climb higher should I rise even to the seate of blessed Eternitie But woe is mee I have too much earth about mee and the aire is too thinne to beare up my bodie Had I wings like the Eagle I would attempt my desires but noe meanes is alotted to a corporall ascent Yet though my body be forbid to enter those pallaces untill it shall be glorified at the greate restauration my soule may be admitted so soone as ever it shall be freed from this tabernacle of flesh Yea and my thoughts may presently at this very instant mount up to my God so they be cleane and pure and in an humble reverence I may discourse with my Creatour It is my duety thus to doe and it shall be my care to observe so royall a command O how good is my God unto mee making mee a sharer of his terrestriall blessings But ô how farre doeth hee exceede the measure of this bountie in giving mee the meanes to be partaker of heaven Some thing I see when up-ward I looke and something there is which I long to possesse but 't is not that Christall shell that bound's my sight which I so count nor
dutyes which thou commandest that so my light may rise in obscuritie and my darknesse be as the noone day Heare mee ô Lord and graunt these my peritions and whatsoever else shall be necessarie for mee and that for the worthinesse of him who is the morning starte even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour in whose name and words I father call upon thee saying Mat. 6.9.10.11.12.13 Our father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdome come thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven give us this day our dayly bread and forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us and leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen part 3 The third part Of the Soliloquie Fitted for one preparing to goe to dinner VVHen Daniel the Prophet was made chiefe of the Presidents and Princes of the Kingdome of Darius the rest burning with furie at this his preferment sought say's the text an occasion against him Dan 6.4 but none they could find for hee was faithfull neither was there any errour or fault found in him Prov 3.15 At length to magnifie the King above him by whom alone Kings reigne for the effecting of their purposes they quarrelled with his religion and conceaved that their uniust designes of debasing the President were noe wayes to be wrought but by dishonouring his God But when those envious parasites pretended highly to magnifie the scepter they did indeede but labour the satisfaction of their envie Dan 6. vers 9. vers 7. Howsoëver at length it was concluded and the decree was signed in writing that Whosoever should aske a petition of any God or man for thirtie dayes save onely of Darius hee was to be cast into the denne of Lyons vers 10 Daniel knew that the decree was signed yet hee went into his house and his windowes being open in his chamber towards Ierusalem hee kneeled upon his knees three times a day and praised and gave thankes before his God as hee did afore time Here was a worthy resolution and as religious a performance Neither the envie of his adversaries nor the displeasure of his Soveraigne nor the greedinesse of the Lyons could stoppe his proceedings or hinder his devotions Deut 5 29. Oh that there were such a heart in mee too that I would feare the Lord and keepe his commandements allways that it might be well with mee for ever But alasse to my shame and griefe I see that I can scarce once in a day find in my heart to praise my God and if twice or thrice I attempt to fitt and compose my selfe to my holy devotions I presently repell those righteous motions as if it were un-necessarie whatsoëver is ircksome But why should I not consider how slack I am in my petitions even by the aboundance of things which I truely want Why should I not pray by precept or at least by precedent It was David's resolution Ps 55.17 Evening and morning and at noone-day will I pray and cry aloud hee shall heare my voyce And his practise exceedes his promise for his owne words are Seaven times a day doe I praise thee Ps 11â— 164. because of â—y righteous judgments Yea hee goe's a litle â—rther yet and crye's out vers 97 O how I love thy â—we It is my meditation all the day Hee â—uld not choose but meditate on his law all â—e day long Ps 25.5 on whom hee did wayte all the â—…y long Thus hee meditated hee meditated 〈◊〉 day a whole day and yet not one whole â—ay onely for hee passeth his promise to the All-mighty saying Ps 145 2. Every day will I blesse â—hee and I will praise thy name for ever and â—ver Thus should I doe as David did I â—hould blesse the Lord and I should praise â—he Lord yea I will blesse him and I will â—raise him for all his mercies and particularly for preserving mee to the midle of this day But is this time so fitting convenient that now especially I should setle to my meditations Yes doubtlesse at this very instant I have more arguments to perswade mee to devotion then at many other howers and seasons of the day Now my hungrie appetite putteth mee in mind of the ravens which hee feedeth when thy call upon him Ps 147.9 Now I discover a most ample testimonie of his protection and providence Ps 107.9 for now hee satisfieth the emptie soule and filleth the hungry soule with goodnesse Longer mee think's I cannot stay from my meate for my empty bellie call's for a repast Lord how fraile are wee mortalls that wee cannot live one day without the satisfaction of our stomacks Mat 6.11 Phil 4.19 which made our Saviour teach us to pray Give us this day our dayly bread Well God is so good as to supply all our wants but how doe's hee supply them Alasse the poore inferiour creatures are faint to pay the tribute of their lives for the satisfaction of our hunger Our plentiful tables doe commonly speake blood in every dish The beastes and the fowles and the fishes doe seeme to contend for precedencie in their service to our wanton appetites And yet if I consider of it what offence that the Lamb or the Sheepe or the Calfe or the Oxe or the Dove or the Salmon committed that they loose their lives for the preservation of ours Those doe obey the commands of their Creatour even unto death and by their ready submission to man's desires observe the law which was first prescribed them But why doe they so seeing man by his fall did loose the prerogative of soveraigntie over the creatures Hee did so indeede yet those creatures not willing to insult over their sinfull Lord especially seeing the charter was renewed afterwards to Noah Gen 9.2.3 continue their submission to his will and command In all this how can I choose but magnifie my God desire him to blesse the creatures unto mee for the sustenance of my body that I may onely live to honour him who is the giver of all Now againe above other times should I thinke on my â—od and desire him in mercy to be graâ—ous unto mee for at this time of the day â—ee would not visit our first and sinfull paâ—…nts It is now about the midle and heate of â—e day The Sun is hastening to the highest â—oint in the Meridian with beames direct â—eepe's through the crevices into our private â—…osets Gen 3.8 but it was in the coole of the day when Adam and Eve did heare the voyce of the Lord God walking in the garden and presently did â—ide themselves from the presence of him amongst â—he trees of the garden O though 't was in the â—oole of the day when God was heard yet was â—t in the heate of his anger for the sinne of the â—ransgressours
pearle shall be made to forgett it's vallew rather then I will prize it above my charitie Even these very jewells shall be sould and consumed rather then I will valew my pride above my bountie They shall be parcelled out in severall summs and the naked shall weare them in their needefull apparell Or if these pearles being sould dispersed to the poore will not discover enough of my Christian compassion from mine eyes shall droppe such a plentifull store that my heart shall be free in it's liberall bountie and manifest thereby my tender affection There is a pearle which my Saviour mentions exceeding Mat 13 45. vers 46 all the treasures of the earth For that pearle will I learne to play the marchant and sell both this and all that I have for the purchase of that I neede not feare the want of ornaments if I part from these to be partaker of that for that pearle is a citty Reu 21 10. and that citty is great and holy even the holy Ierusalem whose light is like a Iasper stone vers 11 cleere as Chrystall vers 18 The bulding of the wall thereof is of Iasper the citty pure gold like unto cleere glasse the foundations of the wall are garnished with all māner of pretious stones vers 19 even with a Iasper a Saphir a Calcedony vers 21 an Emerald a Sardonix a Sardius a Chrisolite a Berill a Topaz a Chrysophrasus a Iacinct vers 21 and an Amethist the twelve gates are twelve pearles every severallgate a pearle and the very streete of the citty is pure gold as it were transparent glasse O who would not leave this drossie perishing gold for that which is so pure and shall last for ever Who would not forsake these mock and triviall jemmes for those most precious and unvalluable jewells Long since did my Saviour tell his disciples that it is easier for a camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle Mat 19 24. then for the rtch to enter into the Kingdome of God What then shall I doe who am borne downe from that Kingdome by the weight of my riches and kept out from the doore by the bundles the greatenesse of the baggs which I would carie When the ruler professed that hee had kept all the commandements of God from his youth Luc 18 21. vers 22 yet lacked hee one thing Hee was to sell all that hee had and give to the poore and then it was promised hee should have treasure in heaven But when hee heard this vers 23 hee was very sorrowfull for hee was very rich For my part I must confesse that I have beene farre more carefull to keepe my treasure then the commandement of God Yet if I had done it even from my youth as the ruler boasted howsoever my plenty would informe mee of my want One thing yet the ruler wanted and that one thing still I stand in neede of I want the diminishing of this earthly trash I must sell all that I have and give to the poore O I feare that this command will bee very sad and sorrowfull to mee too because I am very rich The more I possesse the more sorrow will arise when I shall part from my possessions But thus I must doe if I expect what I desire All must goe for the purchase of that pearle The poore must have baggs to receave my riches and then my store shall be treasured in heaven Yet am I not bound so to give to the poore as thereby to be one of the number of them Charitie unbounded becometh prodigalitie Those that are liberall must disperse with freedome but not with excesse Hee that command's mee to releive the poore command's mee not to give 'till I am poore If once I be reduced to such a penurie I shall be quite deprived of the power to be liberall What therfore is mine I will not impropriate and keepe onely to my selfe but first having furnished my selfe for necessitie I will preferre the wants of my brethren before my convenience or my delight I will not deny my felse the use of the creatures in a lawfull manner nor yet will I proudly satisfie my curiositie leave the indigent out of my thoughts I will labour to make these earthly riches serviceable to the donour even the God of heaven and that I may the better effect my desires I will humble my selfe on my knees at his foote-stoole and besiech him to bow downe his eare to my petitions while I pray unto him and say The Prayer HEavenly father Lord of plenty thou who hast created the world by thy power and continuest thy love in thy providence and protection to thee doe I render thanks for my plenty and to thee doe I offer the service of my store What I have is thine Ps 24.1 for the earth is thine and all that therein is the compasse of the world and they that dwell therein It is thou onely that givest a blessing to the fruit of the land Deut 7 13. to the corne to the wine and to the oyle to the increase of the Kine and of the flocks of the sheepe It is thou onely that commandest thy blessing in the store-houses c 28.8 and in all that thy servants doe set their hands unto Lord make mee one of thy faithfull servants that what thou hast sent mee may be a restimonie of thy love and not of thy hatred ◠Tim. 6.17 Make mee all ways magnifie thee in my time of plenty and not be high-minded nor trust in these uncertaine riches but in thee the living God who givest mee richly all things to enjoy O suffer mee not so to treasure up the deceitfull riches of this sinfull world Luc. 12 25. as thereby forgetting to be rich towards thee but as from thy bounty I receave these temporall blessings so in thy mercy make mee abound in grace 2. Cor 9.8 that allways having all sufficiency in all things I may abound to every good worke vers 11 and be enriched in every thing to all bountifullnesse that through mee it may cause thanksgiving unto thee my Lord and my God In this my prosperity give mee humility and prepare mee for adversitie if it shall please thee at any time to send it unto mee Give mee a sense of the afflictions of many of thy saints and distressed servants enlarge my heart that I may be ready and forward to contribute to their necessities Make mee shew mercy with cheerefullnesse Rom. 12.8 and possesse with thankfullnesse what thou sendest unto mee that I may neither forget thee in thy members nor deny thee to be the giver Let mee never stop mine eares at the cryes of the distressed who begge for reliefe in the name of thy selfe Thou ô Christ 2. Cor 8.9 who wert rich didst for my sake become poore that so through thy poverty thou mightest make mee rich Lord make mee as willing to bee
Lu 15.14 vers 16 I am brought into want and faine would fill my belly even with the huskes that swine doe eate but noe man giveth them unto mee vers 17. Though I know that many hired servants have bread enough and to spare and yet I am ready to perish with hunger Though thus I know my miserie yet I skarce remember the cause But I will begg of my heavenly father vers 17 that I may come unto my selfe and then that my selfe may come unto him I know that hee is angry and his wrath is terrible but if I absent my selfe his displeasure will increase The longer I strive to keepe out of his sight the more will be his severitie and the more grievous my punishment vers 18 I will therfore arise and goe to my father and say unto him Father I have sinned against heaven vers 19 and before thee and am noe more worthy to be called thy child make mee as one of thy hired servants Iob 42.6 Ps 102.9 Ps 80.5 I will abhorre my selfe in dust and ashes As David did so will I I will eate ashes as it were bread and I will have plenteousnesse of teares to drinke I will mourne for my sinnes which have caused this judgment and with my teares in mine eyes compunction in my heart and humilitie in my soule I will fall on my knees before his footestoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer ALl-mighty and all-sufficient Lord God who by thy power diddest lay the foundations of the world and by thy providence doest guide protect the things therein conteined be pleased to looke upon the sorrowes and sufferances of thy distressed servant Thou knowest my wants before I aske and seest how low I am brought with hunger The inferiour creatures thou fillest with plenty but mee thou sufferest to pine with famine Shall not the cryes of the hungrie pierce thine eares Shall the soule of the emptie be despised by it's maker Heare Lord Ps 30.10 and have mercy ô be thou my helper Thou knowest how I groane under the burden of this affliction and wilt thou allways know it and never remove it where are thy mercies which thou shewedst to thine Israelites Where is they goodnesse which was manifested to he widdow of Sarepta Thou canst not decrease in thy mercies nor forget thy compassion The stomack crye's and the belly cryes and a poore languishing soule cryes unto thee ô Lord in the depth of distresse O my father shut not up thy mercifull eares to my prayers but heare mee in heaven and succour mee with thy reliefe Thy store will not be lessened nor thy treasure diminished by sparing to mee a morsell of bread Lord if it may stand with thy good will preserve mee from death and deliver mee from this famine or else arme mee with patience that I may under-goe thy chastisement with comfort and content O thou Saviour of the world to whom the cursed Iewes gave gall to eate Ps 69.21 and when thou wert thirstie even vineger to drinke doe thou ease my griefe and hearken to my complaint Thou in thy humanitie diddest seele the wants of these out-ward things and knowest what griefe and anguish I suffer To Samaria thou sentest plenty beyond expectation 2. King 7.18 in the space of a night Thou art neither confined to time nor tyed to the meanes thou canst send mee comfort even above my hopes Lord either send mee plenty or blesse my want that so I may willingly submitt to thy pleasure and patiently suffer what thou hast decreed Though my body languish for want of sustenance yet fill thou my soule with the riches of thy goodnesse Amos. 8.11 2. Chr. 15.3 O let mee never be cursed with a famine of thy word Let mee never be as once the Israëlites were without thee the true God without a teaching Priest and without law Howsoëver thou disposest of the outward man let not my soule want it's spirituall nourishment whereby it should be fed to a life immortall It was thy meate ô Christ Io 4.34 to doe the will of him that sent thee and to finish his worke Graunt ô Iesus that I may follow thy stepps and make it my foode and my delight to fullfill thy commandements Let mee not labour here for the meate that perisheth c. 6.27 so much as for that meate which endureth to everlasting life My body is thine dispose of it as thou pleasest My soule is thine preserve it in holinesse Lord be gratious to mee thy child Gen. 43 29. and comfort mee now in this greate extreamitie that so I may neither offend thee in my sufferance nor despaire of thy providence but that wholly relying upon thy gratious goodnesse I may suffer with thankfullnesse whatsoëver thou pleasest and then that my sufferances may end in happinesse Heare mee blessed God and help mee for the worthinesse of thy Sonne in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Mat. 6.9.10.11.12.13 Our father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy Kingdome come thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven give us this day our dayly bread and forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us and leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen THE THIRD SOLILOQUIE Treating of thirst both bodily and ghostly THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe Prophet bewayling the distressed estate of afflicted Sion complainth thus Lam. 4.4 The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roofe of his mouth for thirst the young children aske bread and noe man breaketh it unto them They that did feede delicately are desolate in the streetes vers 5. they that were brought up in scarlet embrace the dunghills Grievous was that miserie the infants endured who neither knew how to complaine nor where to be satisfied Their tongues which in time might relate the storie were scorched with the drought and heate of thrist Those litle members which as yet were not un ruely found a punishment as if they had offended The mothers lamenting the torments of the young ones offered them drinke from the fountaines of their eyes but so un-able was that offering to please the innocents that their thirst increased by that which should quench it Surely the miserie was greate which the babes could not utter since mine is so severe that I thinke it ineffable The more I complaine the more thirstie I am for the motion of the tongue increaseth the drought Iam. 3.6 The tongne that is un-ruely is set on fire of hell but mine is silent and yet it scorcheth That litle moisture which is left in my mouth is growne so glutenous
yet our sorrowes doe greatly exceede their sufferances Certainly wee suffer more because wee were first in the first offence and for our forwardnesse both to consult with the Serpent and to tempt the man our portion is the greater in pangs and throwes Wee are driven to such extreamities that either wee must be tormented in our issue or else reproached for our barrennesse Surely had Eve but beene sensible of the least smart of a travelling woman shee would have continued in integritie for feare of the punishment Gen 2.17 Our first parents were threatned but with dying the death in the day they did eate of the tree of knowledg but I mee thinks doe find that that curse is increased for death will not come without the societie of paines There is something of that punishment in the paines which prepare us for the entertainment of death something in the very instant of the soul's departure and yet unlesse our mercifull Redeemer take pitty upon us the greatest of all will be in a second death Of the first paines I am now made most accurately sensible in the second I must agree with the children of Eve but from the last I have an assured hope that my God will deliver mee Oh my paines my paines grow stronger and stronger What shall I doe Strengthen mee ô Iesus and enable mee to suffer with constancy and patience what I must endure for a child Elizabeth was not come to the hower of torment when Lu 1.24 vers 25 hiding her selfe for five moneths together shee rejoyced and sayd Thus hath the Lord dealt with mee in the dayes wherein hee looked on mee to take away my reproach among men Yet are these pangs more desireable then the reproach of barrennesse not for themselves but for their happie event Barrennesse produceth shame and discontent but fruitfullnesse produceth sorrow with comfort The barren desire what they partake not of the fruitfull may have content in that which causeth their torments By us the kingdome of heaven is increased by them the world seemeth ready to expire But whence doth this fruitfullnesse accrow unto us If it were onely and meerely from our selves then I suppose that none would be barren If it be a blessing sent from God I wonder at the wicked for the Psalmist saith They are full of children Ps 17.14 and leave the rest of their substance for their babes But I neede not wonder if I either consider the fore-goeing words where the Prophet saith They have their portion in this life or if I remember that it is in the power of God even from them to produce some vessells of honour Israël was threatned by Moses saying Deut 28.15 It shall come to passe if thou wilt not hearken unto the voyce of the Lord thy God that Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body vers 18 O how full of horrour assuredly was this to the women of Israël that those children should be sentenced to eternall weeping for whom their mothers had cryed in the anguish of their births Such ô such there are and allways shall bee even to the end of the world as shall draw teares from the eyes of the weaker parent both in the extreamitie of the throwes and in the feare of their destruction Surely such wieked children as those if any shall have cause to expostulate as did the patient Iob Iob. 3.11 vers 12 and cry Why dyed I not from the wombe Why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the beliy Why did the knees prevent mee or why the beeasts that I should suck c 10.18 Wherefore hast thou brought mee forth out of the wombe Oh that I had given up the ghost and noe eye had seene mee Or they may say as once did the Prophet Ieremiah Cursed be the day wherein I was borne Ier. 20.14 vers 15 let not the day wherein my mother bare mee be blessed Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father saying A man-child is borne unto thee making him very glad vers 16 And let that man be as the citties which the Lord overthrew and repented not and let him heare the cry in the morning and the showting at noone-tide vers 17 because hee slew mee not from the wombe or that my mother might have beene my grave and her wombe to be allways greate with mee vers 18 Wherfore came I forth out of the wombe to see labour and sorrow that my dayes should be consumed with shame But I will hope better things of mine and beseech my God that it may be like unto Paul who speaketh of himselfe saying Gal 1.15 vers 16 God did seperate mee from my mother's wombe and called mee by his grace to reveale his sonne in mee c. Oh my paines grow sharper and sharper and are strong remembrancers of the pollution even of conception But there is a conception as well Spirituall as Carnall I must therfore examine Whether the wombe of my heart hath not conceaved sinne Iob. 15 35. Is 33.11 for these pangs arise not without foregoeing wickednesse The hypocrites sayth Iob doe conceave mischiefe The enemies of the church sayth the Prophet Isaiah shall conceave chaffe If therfore with the hypocrites c. 59.4 I have conceaved mischiefe I feare that with them too I have brought forth-vanity and my belly hath prepared deceit If with the sinfull Iewes I have not called for justice nor pleaded for trueth if I have trusted in vanity and have spoken lyes then I feare that with them too I have conceaved mischife and brought forth iniquity If with the enemies of the church I have conceaved chaffe then I feare that with them too I have brought forth stubble and I may justly suspect that my breath as fire shall devoure it Ps 7.14 If which the ungodly I have travelled with iniquity and have conceaved mischiefe then I feare that with them too I have brought forth falsehood Thus if I have joyned with the hypocrites if with the enemies of the church if with the sinfull Iewes if with the ungodly or if I have trusted in vanity what then can I looke for but that having conceaved all kind of abominations I should with the wicked man travell with paine all my dayes Iob. 15.20 Thus I must confesse I have beene forward in the conception of all manner of evill and the production hath beene even as quick as the thought Ex 1.19 I may say of my selfe as the Mid-wives sayd once to angry King Pharaoh concerning the Hebrew women I have beene lively and have beene delivered of my grievous crimes ere any midwife came in unto mee I have beene both father and mother and mid-wife and nurse and every thing else to bring the abortive bratts of impietie into the world What now can I expect therfore but that I should dye in anguish and that my child which I goe with should be at once both mine
thee untill hee have consumed thee from offe the land whither thou goest to possesse it Yea yet once againe The Lord said unto Moses Num 14.11 How long will this people provoke mee And how long will it be ere they beleive mee for all the signes that I have shewed among them vers 12 I will smite them with the pestilence and disinherit them and will make of thee a mightier nation then they O the fathomlesse treasure of the bountie of my God! Rom 2 4. O the riches of his goodnesse and patience and long suffering leading us to repentance What were the Israëlites that hee should not plague them Why not presently The wages is due so soone as the service is done and the punishment is as due so soone as the offence is committed and yet allthough God be forward in the former hee is slow to the latter allthough hee delight in the former yet is hee hardly drawne to the latter Mee think's when I consider the Israëlites I wonder at their rebellions and yet mee think's when I consider our selves I wonder much more Is 5.1 What could have beene done more to this vine-yard of God that hee hath not done unto us vers 2. Hee hath senced us and gathered out the stones from us and planted us with the choycest vine and built a tower in the midst of us and allso made a wine-presse in this his vineyard and yet for all this when hee looked that wee should bring forth grapes behould wild grapes Oh how my heart panteth within mee and my whole selfe is in a trembling feare when I consider his mercies and our rebellions Dan 5.5 O mee think's I see a hand-writing against us allmost upon every doore every inhabitant written as it were with the fingers of a man's hand as once Beâ—shazzar saw upon the plaister of the wall which maketh my countenance change vers 6. and my thoughts be troubled so that the joynts of my loynes be loosed and my knees smite one against another and I cry for mercy for I have offended and I knock for compassion for I have transgressed God did threaten Israel with a pestilence when they should be gathered together in their citties with a Pestilence that should consume them from off the land with a Pestilence that should dis-inherit them and all this to avenge the quarrell of his covenant because they still provoked him because they would not believe him for all the signes that hee had shewed among them But where in had Israel offended In what manner In what measure which this land hath not exceeded And yet ô how unwillingly doth the All-mighty punish us O how slowly O how gently Matt 11.12 The kingdome of heaven suffereth violence saith my Iesus Violence indeede by our daring sinnes for wee draw the revenger's sword for him wee bend his bowe for him Ps 7.12 and make it ready wee allso prepare for him the instruments of death vers 13 Ps 64.3 because wee whett our tongues like swords and bend our bowes to shoote our arrowes even bitter words vers 4. that wee may shoote in secret at the perfect suddenly doe wee shoote at him feare not And what now can wee expect but judgments seeing that wee will not offer the just and rightfull violence to the Kingdome of heaven even the violence of our prayers the violence of our teares the violence of sobbs and sighs and groanes in our spirituall combats and conflicts What can wee expect but vengeance And what doe wee meete with but destruction Hee hath threatned and threatned againe and againe and yet wee have resisted and resisted againe and againe too Is 5.7 When hee looked for righteousnesse behould oppression justly therfore now wee looke for mercy behould a cry A cry in the beds of the languishing a cry in the chambers of the infected and pined prisoners a cry of the healthfull for feare of infection a cry of parents for their tender children a cry of children for their dying parents Brother cryeth for brother sister for sister all cry for helpe Ps 102 1. all cry for mercy O Lord heare our prayers and let our cryes come unto thee The Sixth part of the Soliloquie treating of the duety of a Christian decreeing both to whom and for whom wee ought to pray in the time of Pestilence I Weepe and weepe and sigh and sigh and pray and pray but why doe I thus weepe and sigh and pray If for my selfe it is a debt which is challenged even by nature it selfe so that I may have any hope by these meanes either to prevent or to cure the sicknesse If for others it is charitie it is a religious duety Thus wee are commanded by the Apostle Beare yee one anothers burdens Gal. 6.2 and so fullfill the law of Christ And againe by the same Apostle I am commanded to weepe with them that weepe Rom. 12.15 But must my teares be generall Must my prayers be universall For all For the wicked as well as the godly There was a time when the Prophet Ieremiah might not pray for Iudah The Lord said unto him Pray not for this people for their good Ier. 14.11 vers 12 When they fast I will not heare their cry and when they offer burnt-offerings and oblations I will not accept them but I will consume them by the sword and by the famine and by the Pestilence There was a time too when the Lord said concerning the sonnes c. 16.3 and concerning the daughters that were borne among the Iewes concerning their mothers that bare them and concerning their fathers that begat them vers 4. They shall dye of grievous deaths they shall not be lamented neither shall they be buried but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth and they shall be consumed by the sword and by the famine and their carkeises shall be meate for the fowle of heaven and for the beasts of the earth vers 5. For thus saith the Lord Enter not into the house of mourning neither goe to lament nor bemoane them for I have taken away my peace from this people saith the Lord even loving kindnesse and mercies vers 6. Both the great and the small shall dye in this land they shall not be buried neither shall men lament for them nor cutt themselves nor make themselves bald for them And there was a time allso when the eyes of Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah c 22.17 and his heart were not but for coveteousnesse and for to shed innocent blood and for oppression and for violence to doe it vers 18 Therfore thus sayd the Lord concerning him They shall not lament for him saying Ah my brother or Ah sister they shall not lament for him saying Ah Lord or Ah his glory vers 19 Hee shall be buried with the buriall of an Asse drawne and cast out beyond the
gates of Ierusalem Thus it was with them but must it therfore be thus with those which dye of the sicknesse of the Pestilence With all This were a dreadfull sentence indeede To dye and not to be pittyed to dye of the plague and before death not to be prayed for Who knoweth indeede but that some such as those men of Iudah may be among us Who knoweth but that some Iehojakims may be among the visited What then Shall I therfore pray for none Yea shall I not pray for them God forbid The lesse they pray for themselves the more will I pray for them The lesse they know God the more will I pray that they may know him The sicker they are in body the more neede they have of comfort in mind What though they in part may be a cause of this mortalitie What though their wickednesses have helped to bring this contagion If they are enemies to mee in particular I will forgive them though they are God's I will pray for them even that hee in his good time would be pleased to call them home both to the knowledg and the practise of his trueth David I am sure did pray for and pittie his enemies for so hee professeth saying Ps 35.13 As for mee when they were sick my cloathing was sack-cloth I humbled my soule with fasting Lu 19.41 And thus did my Redeemer too for Ierusalem for When hee was come neere to the citty hee beheld it yea hee wept over it vers 42 saying If thou hadst knowne even thou at least in this thy day the things which belong unto thy peace But now are they hid from thine eyes Shall David weepe then for his enemies Shall my Iesus weepe for his enemies for the enemies of his father Ioh 20 17. and my father of his God and my God and shall not I weepe for those who are in miserie and distresse My saviour knew who were elected and who were reprobates and yet hee wept over the whole citty I dare not pry into those secret counsells of my God nor can I know all those whom hee hath ordained for heaven othell shall not I then weepe for them all in generall in this generall calamitie Yes I will keepe my turne I will sing my part in this dolefull consort Surely if my God should forbid mee praying for them even the very prohibition might peraduenture encourage mee to performe it hee knoweth that wee are apt to doe whatsoever hee forbiddeth O my God either take away my readinesse and aptnesse to contradict thee or else forbid mee nothing but what thou wouldest have mee to performe But why should I pray for those who though they are visited refuse to repent Shall I hope to alter the eternall decree of him with whom is noe variablenesse Iam. 1.17 neither shadow of change What if hee hath reserved them for vengeance Can I by my prayers snatch them out of the fire If they are sick peradventure I cannot cure them If they are not yet sick I cannot preserve them O these churlish inhumane un-christian uncharitable thoughts God therfore sendeth them this affliction that they may repent and that they may rather prevent then hee exercise his revenge Seeing therfore that I know not the hearts of any I will pittie all and since by my prayers I cannot prevaile for them to whom is reserved the blacknesse of darknesse for ever I will grieve Iud 13. that Man is become so wicked Rom 2 5. as to treasure up unto himselfe such wrath against the day of wrath Faine would my God have conquered the stubbornnesse of stiffe-necked Israel with the pleasant allurements of his heavenly blessings yet they would not yeeld they would not relent Then hee threatned them yet they would not yeeld Then hee punished them and yet they would not turne which made him cry out by his Prophet Amos. 4.10 I have sent among you the Pestilence after the manner of Egypt yet have yee not returned unto mee saith the Lord. Surely the Lord is very angry with such as will not tremble at his judgments which made him threaten so by Ezekiel saying If I send a Pestilence into that land Eze 14 19. and powre out my furie upon it in blood to cut off from it man and beast Though Noah Daniel vers 20 and Ioh were in it as I live saith the Lord God they shall deliver neither sonne nor daughter they shall deliver but their owne soules by their righteousnesse What comfort then can I receave or give when I mourne for the comfortlesse What hope have I to speede when these worthies should be denyed if they were here to intercede for them by their earnest supplications Sure I am that I am not so good as any of those three Not as the worst Not as Noah though hee had beene drunke Gen 9.21 Not as Iob though Eliphaz taxed him with impatience when as hee justified him selfe and seemed to taxe even God himselfe with injustice Iob 16.15 saying I have sewed sack-cloth upon my skinne and defiled my horne in the dust My face is fowle with weeping vers 16 and on mine eye-lids is the shadow of death vers 17 Not for any injustice in my hands allso my prayer is pure Noe Noe farre short come I of either of any of them poore I a poore weake sinfull woman even as sinfull as the worst as wicked as the worst And now I begin better to bethinke my selfe by thinking worse of my felfe what are those which I questioned whether I might pray for them or not Are they sinners So am I. Are they grievous sinners So am I. Surely I doe not know enough of my selfe if I doe not know my selfe the worst the vilest the chiefest of sinners It is then but justice that I should pray for the worst since I my selfe either am or might have beene worse then them My prayers shall be generall for all hoping that God may be pleased to have mercy on all But if any among them be certainly reprobates though I know it not yet I will pray that they may be taken from the number of the faithfull that so they may neither seduce by their temptations nor offend by their examples nor dishonour my good God any longer by their crying and multiplying abhominations Yet must I howsoever be charitable in my devotions and pray for others as well as for my selfe But all this while since my thoughts have beene fixed upon those that are visited and I am certainly resolved for whom I will pray let mee be sure that I direct my prayers aright or else my devotion may be but blindnesse and my religion superstition To him without doubt and to him alone must I tender my petitions from whom yea from whom alone this sicknesse is sent upon this sinfull land And who is hee which visiteth the earth but onely the great Creatour of heaven and earth The very Philistines could
the throne of my God Be sure thou doest it for I will have a watch over my mouth and at the doores of my lipps that I may be certaine thou offend nor As for the rest of my selfe since I cannot stay now to give every part a charge in particular I shall command them onely to attend the pleasure of my royall guest Onely my thoughts I must commit to the tuition of my heart allthough it formerly hath beene false unto mee and desirous I am that they may be pressed pressed downe with greate and heavie burdens But I charge thee ô my Heart if ever thou hopest to be mine owne deere Heart that thou suffer not an imagination not a thought to come neere thee but what shall be commended unto thee by religion and what thou shalt dispatch to thy Maker And now I am prepared for thee Wellcome ô my God If my roomes are not cleane enough for thee I must intreate from thee both direction and assistance to cleanse then If any dust of wickednesse hath flowne about in the sweeping of them I will now give my mind to wash my chambers with the teares of mine eyes and that I know thou delightest in O thrice well-come blessed God Wellcome ô well-come my deerest Redeemer O how truely did the Kingly preacher affirme that Eccl 7.2 It is better to goe to the house of mourning then to goe to the house of feasting for that is the end of all and the living will lay it to heart My house is shut up indeede it is shut up for the infection for feare of the infection for feare lest others should infect my familie or for feare lest my familie should be insectious to others But what of all that I am not the first that ever was shut up I am not the onely one that ever was shut up Lev 13 4. vers 5. The Leper in the law was to be shut up seaven dayes and at the seaven dayes end when the Priest looked on him if the plague in his sight were at a stay and spreaded not in the skinne hee was to shut him up yet seaven dayes more This shutting up was rather for his cure then intended for his hurt Gen 7.16 Noah was sayd to be shut up in the Arke but it was for his preservation and so may I be likewise Ieremiah was shut up too Ier. 32.2 yea in a prison allthough his jayle was the house of the King and yet even at that time hee was visited by the best by one better then the King even by God himselfe for hee often spake to him in the time that hee was shut up c 33.1 Thus am I shut up even in a prison made of my dwelling I hope that my God will speake comfortably unto mee I will hope that hee hath shut mee up as a jewell in a cabinet in his care in his tender compassion If so I am sure that noe evill shall come in unto mee for hee is holy hee is true hee is powerfull who hath mee in keeping Reu 3.7 Hee hath the key of David hee openeth and noe man shutteth and hee shutteth and noe man openeth True it is that sometimes hee shutteth out as when hee shutteth out from his eares the prayers of his people Thus the faithfull complaine by the mouth of the Prophet Lam 3 8. When I cry and showte hee shutteth out my prayers Sometimes hee shutteth up and that in judgment too as Hee shutteth up the eyes of idolaters Is 44.18 that they cannot see and their hearts that they cannot understand And sometimes man shutteth too even when hee is forsaken of God for so saith the wise King A violent man shutteth his eyes to devise froward things Prov 16.30 And againe God is sayd sometimes in judgment to shut up even heaven it selfe as in a time of drought Therfore Moses adviseth the Israëlites saying Deut 11.16 Take heede to your selves that your heart be not deceaved and yee turne aside and serve other Gods and worship them vers 17 And then the Lord's wrath be kindled against you and hee shut up the heaven that there be noe raine and that the land yeeld not her fruit and lest yee perish quickly from off the good land which the Lord giveth you But sure I am that allthough hee should shut mee up in judgment yet hee whose compassions faile not Lam 3.22 Hab 3.2 vers 5. in the midst of judgment will remember mercy I know that in former times hee hath beene angry and then before him went a Pestilence and burning coales went forth at his feete I know that once when the people of Israel had offended then the sword was without Eze 7.15 and the Pestilence and the famine within hee that was in the field was threatned that hee should die with the sword and hee that was in the citty famine and Pestilence should devoure him I know that Elijah Prophesied against Iehoram in writing saying 2. Chr 21.12 Thus saith the Lord Because thou hast not walked in the wayes of Iehoshaphat thy father nor in the wayes of Asa King of Iudah vers 14 Behould with a greate plague will the Lord smite thy people and thy children and thy wives and all thy goods vers 15 And thou shalt have greate sicknesse by disease of thy bowells untill thy bowells fall out by reason of the sicknesse day by day Iob 11.10 And I know allso that if hee cut off and shut up or gather together none can hinder him But what then What though hee hath shut mee up Shall I therfore rage and rave like one distracted c. 30.29 vers 30 What though I am a sister to Dragons and a companion to Owles VVhat though my skinne should be black upon mee and my bones be burnt up with heate c. 3.3 Should I therfore cry Let the day perish wherein I was borne and the night in which it was sayd There is a child conceaved O noe I will rather resolve with afflicted Iob Though hee slay mee yet will I trust in him c. 13.15 Why should I offer to be dismayed That God which dwelleth in the heavens hath taken up my house and is come to sojourne with mee upon earth I will speake in the phrase of a King But will God indeede dwell on the earth 1. King 8.27 Behold the heaven and heaven of heavens cannot conteine thee how much lesse this house of mine which thou now doest visit O what a happinesse it is to have God for our visitant Though hee cometh in wrath yet is hee well-come O let mee have my God any way rather then not have him at all If hee should not sometimes be angry with mee I should suspect that hee loved mee not but if for ever hee should be angry with mee I should feele that hee loved mee not Hee is never angry with mee but when I am not angry with my selfe I will
bee none to deliver us O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant Thou knowest Lord that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse nor serve thee with alacritie The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse O say of his disease that It is enough and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation Thine hand ô Lord is layed upon him and the stroake is so heavy that it woundeth us both Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde Is 44.22 and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne Mar 2.17 The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian but wee that are sick O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules and then in thy good time restore thy diseased servant to his former health But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death ô give him patience to beare and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou sendest Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked Eccl. 5.17 who have much sorrow and wrath in their sicknesse but ease his sorrow and appease thy wrath Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure that so whether hee liveth Rom. 14.8 hee may live unto thee or whether hee dyeth hee may dye unto thee yea whether hee liveth or dyeth that hee may be thine Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest that so hee might be both my head and my directour and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties that I cannot understand I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller I cannot apprehend what I reade Act. 8.31 except some man should guide mee O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home 1. Cor. 14.35 for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth If thou takest him from my societie let mee not be left alone but send mee the comforter even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour and my guide unto death Ps 48.14 Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may be found of thee in peace 2. Pet. 3.14 Is 9.6 through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Mary came where Iesus was Io. 11.32 and saw him shee fell downe at his feete saying unto him Lord if thou hadst beene here my brother had not dyed Shee wept indeede yet it was but for a brother and the Iewes allso wept vers 33. yet it was but for a common friend but what was all that to the death of a husband O my husband my husband That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee But oh hee is dead hee is dead hee cannot heare mee hee cannot behould mee hee cannot answer mee his eares are locked up his eyes are closed his mouth is sealed his soule is gone O what shall I doe for my head my guide my heart my husband Were my Saviour upon earth againe I could send one to him as Mary did vers 3. who should say Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead Dead say I O dead dead hee is gone hee is departed and can never be re-called But why Why can hee not be called back againe Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead vers 44 vers 39 Yes hee did but what then I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did nor I feare doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary or if both were so yet since miracles are ceased I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord my husband Oh could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman never did any mourne so much as I would But nothing will perswade I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for if I desire to call him from his eternall rest Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is gone I lament not his happinesse but mine owne losse vers 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus in testimonie of his affection for so sayd the Iewes vers 36 Behould how hee loved him And was my love to my husband so litle or so cold that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him Is 1.2 Lam 1.12 who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe Heare ô heavens and give eare ô earth Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him when yee saw him breathing out his soule and forsaking the world O behould and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph Hee was misse-taken in the cause but I see and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband Iacob mourned onely for a sonne but I for an husband Iacob had more many more I had but one 2. Sam 1.26 and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women Yet though Ioseph was alive and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes Gent 37.34 Iacob his father rent his cloathes and put sackcloth upon his loynes and mourned for him many dayes c 23.2 Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan Hee was a man so neither his passion nor his losse could paralell mine Hee had more-wives but I had not more husbands And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King how hee dyed and was lamented Could a Prince be as neere and deare to the people as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome Yet though neither mariage nor blood could pleade for a teare I find that all Israël mourned for him
shortnesse of our lives then the most eloquent straines of the best rhetorician These bells assure mee that my life is but a found a noise an aier these perfumes tell mee that it is but a vapour 1. Pet. 1 24. these herbs doe teach mee that flesh is as grasse and these teares these early teares which so suddenly arise when my heart doeth call teach mee mortalitie in their hastie falling And who can choose but weepe for the shortnesse of our lives Who can forbeare a teare at the funerall of a friend It was a curse inflicted upon the wicked Iewes that they neither should be buried nor yet lamented They shall dye of grievous deaths sayth the Prophet Ier. 16.4 they shall not be lamented neither shall they be buried but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth and their carkeises shall be meate for the fowles of heaven vers 5. for the beasts of the earth For thus saith the Lord Enter not into the house of mourning neither goe to lament nor bemoane them for I have taken away my peace from this people saith the Lord even loving kindnesse c 25.33 and Ierusaâ—mercies So the slaine of Iudah and IerusaleÌ„ saith the Prophet shall not be lamented neither gathered nor buried they shall be dung upon the ground So it was threatned concerning Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah saying c 22.18 They shall not lament for him saying Ah my brother or ah sister they shall not lament for him saying ah Lord or ah his glory It was a judgment upon the Israelites Amos 8.2 when the Lord sayd by the mouth of his Prophet The end is come upon my people of Israel vers 3. and the songs of the temples shall be howlings in that day saith the Lord there shall be many dead bodies in every place they shall cast them forth with silence Surely if ever nature had libertie to pleade for the convenience yea for the necessitie of a teare it may at this time command Grace must and most willingly shall have the chiefe predominance but let nature have likewise it 's qualified drops so they grow not immoderate Though my losse be the greatest to whom hee was a husband yet others may weepe too to whom hee was a friend Gen 50.7 When Ioseph went to burie his father then all the servantâ— of Pharaoh went with him and the Elderâ— of his house and all the Elders of the land oâ— Egypt vers 8. And all the house of Ioseph and his brethren vers 10 and his father's house And they came to the threshing floore of Atad and there they mourned with a greate and very sore lamentation and hee made a mourning for his father seaven dayes Io 11.31 VVhen Lazarus was buried and the Iewes saw Mary rise up hastily and goe out they litle imagined that shee went to meete the Lord of life but they followed her saying Shee goeth unto the grave to weepe there When her brother Lazarus was dead shee wept and her sister wept and her friends the Iewes wept and when Christ did see them all thus weeping hee was so farre from blaming them vers 35 2. Chr 35.24 that hee wept himselfe When Iosiah was slaine his servants tooke him out of the charet wherein hee was wounded and put him in the second charet which hee had they brought him to Ierusalem And hee dyed and was buried in one of the sepulchres of his fathers and all Iudah and Ierusalem mourned for Iosiah VVhen Samuel was dead 1. Sam. 28.3 all Israel lamented him and buried him in Ramah in his owne citty 1. King 13.29 VVhen the ould Prophet tooke up the carkeise of the man of God who had beene slaine by a Lyon hee layed it upon the Asse and brought it back and came to the â—tty to mourne and to burie him vers 30 And hee layd his carkeise in his owne grave and they mourned over him saying Alas my brother The children of Israel wept for Moses in the â—laines of Moab thirtie dayes Deut 34.8 1 Sam 15.35 Though Saâ—uel tooke his leave departed from Saul â—nd come noe more to see him untill the day of â—is death neverthelesse Samuell mourned for Saul Iud 11 39. vers 40 Though Iephthah's daughter had beene lead and buried long before yet it was a â—ustome in Israel that the daughters of Israel went yeerely to lament the daughter of Iephthah â—he Gileadite fower dayes in a yeere When Stephen was stoned Act 8.2 devout men caried him to his buriall and made greate lamentation over him 2. Chr 32.33 VVhen Hezekiah slept with his fathers hee was buried in the chiefest of the sepulchres of the sonnes of David and all Iudah and the inhabitants of Ierusalem did him honour at his death Lu 7.38 VVhen Mary Magdalene stood weeping at the feete of my Saviour and did wash his feete with teares and wiped them with the haires of her head and brought an Alabaster boxe of oyntment vers 37 and anointed him with the ointment vers 38 hee was so farre from dis-liking it in her that hee checked his disciples who had indignation at the act and therfore sayd Mat 26 8. To what purpose is this wast Yea hee reproved them and sayd unto them Why trouble yee the Woman vers 10 For shee hath wrought a good worke upon mee vers 12 For in that shee hath powred this oyntment on my body shee did it for my buriall Shee hath done what shee could Mar 14 8. shee is comâ— afore hand to anoint my body to the burying Here I find was oyntment to embalme him and here were allso teares at his funerall and yet so farre was Christ from blaming her for her teares that hee not onely decreed the publishing of this act through the world where the gospel should be preached Mat. 26 13. that for a memoriall of her but hee likewise upbraided Simon with the teares of the sinner Lu 7.44 and sayd unto him I entered into thine house and thou gavest mee noe water for my feete but shee hath washed my feete with teares and wiped them with the haires of her head vers 47 c. Wherfore her sinnes which are many are forgiven for shee loved much Weepe then I may upon this sad occasion yea and weepe may my friends too Teares are as proper at a funerall as smiles at a wedding Wee have two mariages the first whereof is to living dust the last to the cold and silent earth At the former wee rejoyce for it was an institution of God before man had sinned Gen 2.24 at the latter wee weepe for it is the effect of sinne Wee cloath our selves in delightfull colours when wee celebrate the former but our blacks at the latter are our wedding garments The Rosemarie is served about at each the gloves and the favours attend at each
mind Though I have lost my husband yet still I have my God Hee is and will be mine so long as I remaine and continue his What though I misse my head my deceased Lord my dead husband in every place What though hee sitteth not with mee at the table and therfore I sigh What though I find a misse of him in my sole and single life and therfore I grieve What though I want him to instruct mee in the wayes of goodnesse and to provide for the affaires allso concerning this life and therfore mourne I may be pensive in the remembrance of him whom I loved and I may lament the losse of my instructer and my comforter but if I grieve too much I shall but discover that there was folly in my love and that there is dispaire in my teares Hee was not mine but God's and with him hee liveth It must be my comfort that hee lived so well while hee was upon earth that I may hope assuredly that hee 's a saint in heaven and it must be my confidence that hee is onely gone a litle before to that place of happinesse whither I shall follow him Hee who lent mee him can furnish mee with another or else give mee content with this single life Hee was not my choyce but God's If I ponder upon my losse with sorrow and griefe I must yet thinke upon his advantage with joy and content I will therfore reverence his memorie without too many sobbs and I will be thankfull to my God because hee once did lend mee so good a directour I will by his blessing live a widow with content and quietnesse untill hee shall be pleased either to call mee againe to the state of wedlock or else free mee from this sinfull and troublsome world If I marrie noe more the greater command shall I reteine of my selfe I am now at libertie to employ my time in religious dueties whereas if I were wedded to an un-godly man even my religion it selfe without the mercy of my God might receave some prejudice But if the Lord shall be pleased to bring mee againe into obedience to another I will besiech him so to direct mee in my choyce that I may marry in the Lord. I will not rashly attempt so weighty a matter but with my prayers and teares I will begge of the Lord to guide and direct mee Thus that I may live in the love of my God and that hee may allways overshadow mee with his blessings Ier. 31.32 and be a husband unto mee as hee promised to be unto Iudah and Israël I will humble my selfe at his foote-stoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer BLessed God thou who once didst promise to the barren church of the Gentiles that thou wouldest be unto her both a Redeemer and a husband Is 54.5 be pleased to looke upon the low estate of a pensive widow Thou knowest how irksome and full of forrowes this solitarie life is thou viewest my sad and dis-consolate condition O be thou unto mee both a husband and a comforter that in the multitude of my sorrowes which I have in my heart thy comforts ô Lord Ps 94.19 may refresh my soule It is thy promise that Prov. 15.25 though thou wilt destroy the house of the proude yet thou wilt establish the border of the widow Though the wicked doe noe good to the widow Iob. 24.21 yea though they stay the widow and murder the fatherlesse Ps 94.6 Ps 68.5 yet thou thy selfe hast promised that thou wilt be a father to the fatherlesse and defend the cause of the widow even thou ô God who dwellest in thine holy habitations Iob. 22.9 O send not then a poore and distressed widow away emptie but be pleased to be my Gâ—… my guide and my counsellour Make mee 〈◊〉 honour thee in all my wayes to rely upon thee iâ— all my sorrowes to sue unto thee in all mâ— wants Eph. 4.24 Ps 89.22 and firmely to be wedded unto thee 〈◊〉 righteousnesse and true holinesse Let not thâ— oppressour exact upon mee nor the Sonne 〈◊〉 wickednesse doe mee harme but doe thoâ— allways preserve mee under the shadow of thy wings Be thou my directour in all my wayes that whether I shall continue in this stated of widow-hood or be ordered by thee to change my condition and be joyned againe in holy wedlock I may sue for thy counsell and be seconded with thy blessing But so long as I shall leade this single life let mee remaine contented Lu. 2.37 and make mee like Anna the Prophetesse not departing from thy temple but serving thee my God with fasting and prayer night and day Be thou unto mee in a more excellent manner then was Iob unto the widowes causing my heart to sing for joy Iob. 29.13 that so though mine afflictions are many and my desolate condition be full of perturbations and anxious thoughts yet I may so cleave unto thee that I may have comfort in thee whilest I live upon earth and be hereafter admitted into the societie of thy saints and Angells there to reigne with thee world without end through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 22 THE TWENTIE-SECOND SUBjECT Teares of an Orphane at the death of her father The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray AMong other abominations which Ierusalem was guiltie of it was not the least that In her had they set light by father and mother Eze. 22 7. But could there live such people as neglect their parents Could nature become so silent in children that they should forget the honour due to progeâ—itours Surely if even affection inhabited the breast of a Christian it needes must dwell in the heart of a child and point to the fathers that did beget him Alas I feele a desire of expressing such an affection which I would be as readie to manifest in reall expression but ay mee the object of 〈◊〉 love and my duety is snatched from mee Oâ— hee that begat mee is dead hee that tooke caâ— to breede mee hee that supplyed my wants bâ— that instructed mee in religion hee that defenâ—… mee from injuries hee whose labour indstrie was chiefely imployed for the good of mee his boloved child Prov. 4 3. I was oh I may say I was my father's child tender and onely beloved of my mother But now where ô where is that man of affection Where is that father who so earnestly loved mee who so deerely affectâ— mee Sick hee was dead hee is But was my duety to him correspondent any way to his care of mee Did I endeavour to requite his love by my service Gen 48 1. obedience Did I visit him in his sicknesse as Ioseph did his dying father When one could him saying Behold thy father iâ— sick hee
fidelitie nor his religion could preserve him from the sentence of a temporall death O what would I not doe to call him back againe What would I not give to have him restored to life againe But all that I can either doe or give cannot perswade his soule to returne back to its prison Were I the most rich and wealthie in the world yet could not my treasures urchase his returne Noe noe I am well assured of the trueth of the Psalmist who saith that They who trust in their wealth Ps 49.6 and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches vers 7. none of them can by any meanes redeeme his brother nor give to God a ransome for him Well then seing that I cannot fetch him from the grave I will yet send up my sighes towards the place where hee is blessed This I may doe without any check either of reason or religion It was a curse which God did Inflict upon Iehojakim for his sinnes Ier 22.17 even for his coveteousnesse for his oppression and for his violence vers 18 That they should not lament for him saying Ah my brother But on the contrarie when Deborah though she was but Rebeckah's nurse was buried beneath Bethel under an oake Gen 35.8 the name of it was called Allon-Bachuth the oake of weeping When the enemies of David were sisited with sicknesse Ps 35.14 hee behaved himselfe as though they had beene his friends or his brethren yea hee bowed downe heavily as one that mourneth for his mother But hee who now is dead was not mine enemie but my friend yea and noe common friend but a brother yea and not a brother in the flesh so much as in affection even as deare as a mother why then should I not sorrow for the losse of such a brother I will grieve I will lament when I remember the love and the courtesies which hee shewed unto mee and I will speake in the language of the Church to Christ and say O thou that wert my brother Cant 8.1 that sucked the breasts of my mother when I should find thee without I would kisse thee yet I should not be despised I will lament him as David did Saul and Ionathan and say 2. Sam. 1.19 vers 23 vers 26 The beautie of Israël is dead hee was lovely and pleasant in his life I am distressed for thee my brother very pleasant hast thou beene unto mee thy love to mee was wonderfull passing the love of women But what advantage to the dead are the teares of the living Can my sighes inspire life into his bosome Can a draught of my teares fetch him back againe to life O noe 't is this 't is this therfore that doeth heighten and increase my sorrowes even that my teares cannot recover him whom I lament But cease fond woman cease thy sobbs and cryes of discontent By the extreamitie of thy passion thou mayst hasten to his grave yet if thâ—… murderest thy selfe with excessive sorrow thy soule may be deprived of the locietie of his 'T is true indeede 't is most true Litle can I expect to come to heaven if I violently force my selfe from the earth Why then doe I take on as if I either suspected his happinesse or doubted of following him What comfore can it bring to his body of earth to have iâ— cabined in the grave with his dispersing asheâ— The dust of both of us may mixe in the vault and yet noe joy arise to our senselesse asher If his earth was that which drew mine affertion I see my fondnesse in the corruption of that earth but if his gracious soule was the object of my love I must strive to come where that surviveth To heaven hee 's gone and to heaven I 'll hasten and because I will goe the surest way I will walke in those paths which faith and patience shall direct mee in I will noe more disturbe the peace of my mind since that cannot helpe mee to the companie of him Weepe indeede I doe I am enforced unto it 't is the law of nature 't is an act of necessitie I cannot avoide it Yet though I weepe I will labour for content and since my God as I undoubtedly believe hath beene pleased to crowne my brother with glory I will beseech him to comfort mee here with his grace I will not immoderately weepe lest I injure my selfe I will not Weepe without hope lest I offend my Maker but that I may weepe as I should and hope as I ought live as I am required I will humble my selfe at the feete of him to whom my brother is gone and I will pray unto him and say The Prayer ALl mighty God ever-lasting father Is 9.6 thou in whom wee live and move and have pur beeing be pleased to take pittie upon thy distressed servant grieving for the losse of a â—eloved brother Thou knowest Lord how â—eerely our hearts were knitt in affection and â—herfore how justly I lament my losse Beâ—hold how these teares doe witnesse my love and imitate that oyntment on Aaron's head Ps 133.2 which went downe to the skirts of his out ward garments Behold how these dropps like that deaw of Harmon and that deaw which descended upon the mountaines of Zion vers 3. doe arise from that unitie which thou hast commanded O how shall I beare the losse of him whom thou in thy law didst charge mee to love Thou ô God didst tye us together in the bond of love yet thou thy selfe hast seperated him from my sight But since it was thy pleasure to receave him to thy selfe be pleased allso to hasten my journie to him Give mee patience to endure this stroake of thy scourge and thankfully to acknowledge thy goodnesse in his happinesse Him thou hast taken fronâ— the evills to come Rom 7 24. ô deliver mee allso from thiâ— body of death Make mee setle mine affectioâ— onely upon thee that my delight may be wholly in thy righteous lawes Give mee a sight of my sinnes for which I have not grieved so much as for the losse of my deceased brother and turne all my teares into a godly sorrow for offending thy majestie Be thou unto mee a father in thy provident care and a brother in thy love that all my wants may be supplyed by thy sufficience On earth I see there is nothing permanent Lord let my treasure be stored in heaven Mat 6.21 and then where my treasure is let my heart be allso When it shall be thy pleasure to free mee from this tabernacle of flesh ô let mee be receaved into that quire of Saints whereof I doubt not but my brother is a joyfull member Graunt ô my God that when I have passed the waves of this troublesome world I may sing tryumphant Halelujahs to thy praise and glory through the merits of him who is mine elder brother even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 24 THE TWENTIE-FOURTH
him who is emnipotent Hee did worke many wonders by his Apostles Act 19 11. even upon the living and speciall miracles by the hand of Saint Paul vers 12 so that from his body were brought unto the sick handkercheifs or aprons the diseases departed from them the evill spirits went out of them And hee who wrought cure of the people without meanes can give such a blessing to the meanes that I may thereby be restored againe many diseases my Redeemer himselfe did cure while hee was upon earth It is true that hee is now not here in the flesh hee is ascended into heaven But what of that Though his humanitie be there yet his divinitie is every where I will therfore submit to his pleasure and I will hope for my health While hee was upon earth hee delighted in cures and his mercie remaineth still the same readily will I therfore submit to his pleasure Mar. 2.3 Once was a man so weake with the palsie that hee was borne by fower vers 4. and when by reason of the preasse they could not come neere the doores of the house where my Saviour was they un-covered the roofe and let him downe in his bed When Iesus saw their faith vers 5. hee said unto the sick of the palsie Sonne thy sinnes be forgiven thee Mat 8.14 When Peter's wive's mother was sick of a feaver vers 15 my Saviour did but onely touch her hand and the feaver left her and shee arose and ministred unto them c. 4.24 The people brought unto him all sick folke that were taken with diverse diseases and torments and those that were possessed with devills and those that were lunatick and those that had the palsy and hee healed them It is hee alone that can heale and therfore to him alone will I pray that I may be healed Were my disease as ould as my body my body as ancient as time it selfe yet hee that can remit my sinnes can restore my health But my disease is not so ancient and therfore the cure doeth not seeme to be so hard Suppose that I have languished a moneth a quarter a whole yeare What if three What if sixe What if a dozen yeares It exceedeth not either his power Mat. 9.20 or skill to make mee whole Hee cured a woman who for twelve yeares together had beene diseased of an issue of blood in her body Mar 5.26 Shee poore woman had suffered many things of many physitians and had spent al that shee had and yet was nothing bettered but rather grew worse Thus despairing of any helpe from man shee addressed herselfe to him who is both God and man To him that cure was so easie that shee did but onely touch the hemme of his garment strait way the fountaine of her blood was dryed up vers 29 and shee felt in her body that shee was healed of that plague There was a miracle indeede that with the touch of a garment the disease should be cured If such power did lye in the hemne of his garment what vertue must I needes believe did lie in his body But what comfort can I receave from this which I reade when I know that that body is ascended into heaven Fond woman as I am why doe I thus waver Though his flesh be from mee yet his spirit is with mee Yea and his flesh and his blood is offered still unto Christians upon earth Hee giveth not onely his garment to touch but allso his flesh and that not to touch onely but even to eate to seede upon in the blessed sacrament That woman was cured by the touch of his garment and shall not I hope for his mercy who feede upon his flesh and blood in the Eucharist Yes yes I must I will believe that hee for his owne sake will remitt my sinnes and that if it may advantage the glory of his name hee â—an and may recover my health Yet all this while I thinke but of a disease of twelve yeares standing What if I had beene sick for eighteene yeares together Might I therfore despaire of his power Noe noe I might not I durst not Lu 13.11 Doe not I reade of a woman who had a spirit of insirmitie eighteene yeares and was bowed together and could in noe wise lift up herselfe A disease shee had which in effect was not alltogether unlike unto mine for I stoope too and am allmost bowed together through the weakenesse and infirmitie of my body and cannot lift up my selfe but am enforced to require the aide of my friends and attendance to raise mee and to support mee Yet I reade that when Iesus saw her vers 12 hee called her unto him and said unto her Woman thou art loosed from thine infirmitie vers 13 And hee layd his hands on her and immediately shee was made straite and glorified God It may be his pleasure to speake such comfort allso unto mee for I have not beene sick so many yeares as was shee and I seeke my Saviour which shee did not allthough I must acknowledge it is his grace which worketh in mee this my seeking of him yea and I begge the cure whereas shee was asked if shee would be cured Why then should I not hope that hee will lay his hands upon mee and make mee straite and restore mee whole as hee did that woman that I may glorifie him for it But suppose that my disease had continued above twentie yeares suppose above thirtie should the long continuance make mee determine the cure impossible Nothing lesse for I reade that a certaine man was at the poole of Bethesda Io. 5.5 who had an infirmitie thirtie and eight yeares vers 6. and when my Iesus sam him lye there and knew that hee had beene now a long time in that case hee said unto him Wilt thou be whole vers 7. The impotent man answered him Sir I have noe man when the water is troubled to put mee into the poole but while I am coming another steppeth downe before mee vers 8. vers 9. Iesus saith unto him Rise take up thy bed and walke and immediately the man was made whole and tooke up his bed and walked Loe here is some comfort still thirtie and eight yeares continuance was nothing to Christ Hee who is eternall seeth all things at once and doeth all things without difficultie Surely that man was intended for a patterne of patience and that I might learne contentedly to suffer what my God shall lay upon mee Hee despaired not of health though his disease was inveterate but hee lay â—… the poole and expected still the hand of mercy â—o lift him into the water nothing doubting â—f the cure if hee could in due time but get â—…to the poole Nor may I despaire of what â—y God can doe but I must continue in my â—pplications enduring mine affliction with â—tience and referring all to his holy pleasure 〈◊〉 must
learne to depend upon God Some things wee thinke wee can certainly foresee consulting with reason about those causes and effects which are meerely naturall but yet wee often faile in our expectations either through the defect of reason or the indisposition and weakenesse of the second causes or else yea and most chiefely by the order of the Most High Yet some are so fond as to magnifie their reason and thereupon ground a necessitie of events not well considering that Allthough this reason obligeth men yet it tyeth not him who is farre above both reason and nature Some againe in their curiositie prying too neerely into things to come borrow their assistance from the Prince of the ayer accounting their knowledg an excellency not tyed to the lawes of religion Thus did that wicked King Ahazia but contrarie to his expectation hee receaved an answer from a Prophet of the Lord vers 6. for Elijah said unto him Thus saith the Lord Therfore thou shalt not come downe from that bed on which thou art gone up but shalt surely dye O what a dreadfull sentence was this Especially to him who sought to the Devill that lyer for his knowledg but receaved such an answer from God who could not deceave Thus am I gone up to my bed too as was that bruised King I am tormented with sicknesse and I languish in a disease O what shall I doe Faine mee thinks I would be certified how long I have to live faine I would live Ps 39.4 and yet I am not certaine of life I am not readie for death and yet I am heartily afraid that I shall find this death too readie for mee But why should I not dye Am I not disturbed with heates and colds with weakenesse and feeblenesse Am I not in a world that giveth noe content That can neither bound my desires nor yet afford what I seeke While I am here I am subject to miseries every moment When I shall be gone this faintnesse and weakenesse these troubles and perturbations shall forsake my weake and infirme body But what then When my body shall sleepe in the silent grave shall it continue there for ever Or shall the soule have a decay and yeald to corruption together with my body of clay and earth Noe noe nothing lesse The body shall indeede lye downe in the dust but yet it shall one day be summoned to rise againe but the soule is eternall it shall continue for ever For ever it shall rest in continuall peace or for ever it shall be tormented in ever-lasting flames Noe merveile then ô my sorrowfull soule that thou art unwilling to leave this tabernacle of flesh since thou knowest not whither thou shalt flye at thy departure But why should not I as well hope for felicitie as dread those torments when my life shall end Doe I aske Why The reason is too plaine What good can I expect from the hands of him whom I have never loved whom I have never obeyed Those whom hee crowneth with heavenly blisse are they who sought for it in a miserable life But I have so lived upon earth as if earth should continue and I have made choyce of this world for the seate of my happinesse But now alas to my woe I find that earth can neither afford any true content nor yet a continuance of that which I accounted good What now shall I doe O whither shall I betake my selfe that I may be partaker of those joyes which are the inheritance of the godly Num. 23.10 Faine I would dye the death of the righteous and I wish that my last end might be like unto his But is this a desire easie to be graunted Alas had I lived the life of the righteous I might then have beene sure I should have dyed the death of them But that ô that is it which pricketh mee at the heart I have lived in sensualitie and this evill day hath beene out of my remembrance so that I cannot comfort my selfe with the smallest hope of what I so eagerly covet But what then Is there noe remedie at all but that I must have the bitter portion with the damned in hell God forbid Hee who hath forborne mee so long when I went on in my wickednesse may yet if hee please afford mee his mercy It is not above his power nor will it eclipse his glory It was once his free promise to a thiefe even dying upon the crosse Lu 23.43 2. Cor. 1.20 This day shalt thou be with mee in paradise His promises allso are sure they are in him yea and in him Amen I doubt not therfore but his mercy was as greate as his word was sure Thus hee saved one which forbiddeth mee despairing yet it was but one which forbiddeth mee presuming But surely it can be noe presumption to build upon his goodnesse Hee delighteth not in the death of a sinner What good can the condemning of mee doe either to him or his creatures True it is that his justice maybe magnified by it but yet it will adde noe glory to his mercy Againe there are but a few in heaven to sing forth his praises but infinite millions in hell and destruction dishonour him in their blasphemies In heaven mee think's there is one too few untill I shall come thither to adde to the number In hell mee think's there would be one too many if I should be throwne into that gulfe of perdition O my God since thou hast vouchsafed mee the knowledg of a heaven yea and of thee the Lord of heaven and earth allthough my knowledg be imperfect thou art offended yet for the merits of thy Sonne be pleased to make mee a cittizen of heaven Rev 21 27. It is most true that there shall in noe wise enter into that place any thing that defileth neither whatsoëver worketh abomination or maketh a lye but they onely which are written in the Lamb's booke of life Upon these termes my hopes indeede doe languish and grow more faint then my feeble body But who is that which condemneth the wicked Is it not hee who likewise calleth the wicked and inviteth them to mercy Is it not hee who telleth mee by his Prophet and saith it himselfe Eze 18 21. If the wicked will turne from all his sinnes that hee hath committed and keepe all my statutes Vers 22 doe that which is lawfull and right hee shall surely live hee shall not dye All his transgressions that hee hath committed they shall not be mentioned unto him vers 23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should dye Saith the Lord God and not that hee should returne from his wayes and live O who is more wicked then I Who more sinfull then I My life hath beene nothing but a continued rebellion and my time hath beene wasted in nothing but disobedience Yet while I have life I have hope If I can but know mine iniquities and get a sorrowfull spirit for them
Angells to the latter the un-godly are hurried and tumbled by cursed fiends and staring ghosts Here indeede the wicked spend their dayes in mirth Iob. 21.13 Ps 49.14 but in a moment they goe downe to the grave They are layed like sheepe in the grave death shall feede on them and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning and their beauty shall consume in the grave from their dwelling From thence there is noe redemption Noe noe there is a greate gulfe Lu 16.26 2. Pet. 3.12 and greater there will be when the earth shall be dissolved and the elements shall melt with fervent heate Then onely heaven and hell shall remaine and from either of these there is noe departure The wicked would be freed out of hell but cannot the godly neither can nor would be deprived of heaven Lu 16.26 Betweene us and you said Abraham to Dives there is a greate gulfe fixed so that they which would passe from hence to you cannot neither can they passe to us which would come from thence Doest thou heare that ô my perplexed soule Doest thou know that thy sentence will be either Come thou blessed or Depart thou cursed Mat. 25 34. vers 41 Doest thou consider that that sentence will be immediately so soone as thou shalt take thy flight from my body O my conscience why hast thou not checked mee for those sinnes of mine which have deserved the sentence of horrour O my soule Ps 89.48 why hast thou forgotten that thou must leave my body Dye I must for what man is hee that liveth and shall not see death Shall hee deliver his soule from the hand of the grave The righteous and the reprobate even both of them shall assuredly dye but the latter shall have a second death the former by death shall enter into life Ps 1.4 The wicked shall be as chaffe which the wind driveth away from the face of the earth and when they dye they shall be cast into un-quenchable fire Mat 3.12 Mat 13 30. Io 12.24 but the righteous shall be like the wheate which shall be gathered into the barne But first they must be sowed before they be reaped Except a corne of wheate fall into the ground and dye it abideth alone but if it dye it bringeth forth much fruit They dye to sinne in their regeneration and they dye by reason of sinne at their change but this all is that they may spring up in glory Lord since I needs must dye let mee dye in thy favour that I may live for ever in thy celestiall Kingdome Pardon all the sinnes I have committed especially my forgetfullnesse of the time of my dissolution So long as I live let mee repent mee of my life and remember my death Give mee as certaine an assurance of a life in glory as I know and am certaine of a temporall death So shall my life here be spent in sorrow for my sinnes and by death I shall passe to those mansions of eternitie I know that I shall dye I begge that I may live Let my sinne here have a death in mee Col. 3.3 and let my soule hereafter have a life for ever with Christ in God 2. A godly preparation against the minuit of death MY soule is bowed downe to the dust Ps 44.25 my belly cleaveth unto the earth and that litle all that is left of my declining body hasteneth apace to the chambers of death Mee think's I heare my greate Creatour speaking unto mee as hee did once to Hezekiah lying on his sick bed Is 38.1 and saying Set thine house in order for thou shalt dye and not live But what house is that which I must set in order Is it my body Alas I have noe power to order that I have referred it to the Physitians and they instead of composing it and regulating it for the recoverie of my health doe but vexe it with draggs and torment it with medicines I feele the hand of death lying hard upon mee and seizing upon every part and member of my body But if it be not the house of my body is it then my house-hold or familie which I must set in order To this indeede I am instructed even by common civility for I have a journie to take a long and a farre journie and never more shall I returne to this place of miserie I must therfore bid my people farewell I must give them a charge and tell them what my pleasure what my desire is they should performe in my absence and that is onely to be obedient to the lawes of my God But yet mee think's this is not all There is yet another house which I must set in order a house of farre more consequence to mee then either of the other The poore rotten house of my body is ready to fall and to come to ruine by the stormes of my sicknesse Yet I strive to mend it and to support it by the various potions and severall dose's prescribed mee by the learned but all I believe will not prevaile downe it must and fall into ashes My familie and house-hold may long continue allthough I depart and leave them behind mee But all this while what have I done for my inner house What course have I taken for my sinfull soule which must shortly appeare at the greate tribunall That ô that is the house which I must order where the King of Kings doeth looke for entertainment If that be not empty Mat 12 44. swept and garnshed it can never content my husband my Lord my Iesus First therfore by an humble confession I will empty it of all pollutions and uncleanesses which have long obscured themselves and lurked in the corners Then will I sweepe it by repentance watering it with my teares and afterwards I will besiech my God to adorne and garnish it with his spirituall graces Ps 4.4 I now beginne I blesse my God to commune with mine owne heart upon my bed and to search out mine iniquities O my God be pleased to give mee a quick apprehension of all mine enormities Sharpen my memorie and rowze up and awake my sleeping conscience that I may muster up all my sinnes in order and examine the wicked and sinfull passages of my life I will beginne with mine infancie and proceede through all the crooked turnings and by-paths of my life even unto this very minuit of my sorrow I will search 1. What sinnes I have committed 2. How long they have dwelt with mee 3. What chidings and contentions I had in my conscience for the committing of them 4. How often I repented for them 5. How true that repentance was 6. What amendment did follow upon that repentance 7. What thankfullnesse I rendered unto God for that repentance 8. What joy I receaved in my new obedience 9. What holy resolutions I made to continue in the way of the commandements And when I have met with a sinne I will
order unto him and in obedience to his commands I will love my neighbour as my selfe I will love him with the same affection as my selfe For his sake for whom I love my selfe even for God's For the same reason as my selfe even for grace conferred in this life present and for a certaine hope of eternall glory in the life to come In the same order as my selfe which shall be above the world but inferiour to my God Vpon the same ground as myselfe even because of the image of God imprinted in him and because hee is capable of immortall happinesse lastly as long as myselfe even from the beginning unto the end untill this fraile flesh shall be forsaken by my pensive my sad and sorrowfull soule And that my brethren my neighbours may be the better assured of my love which cannot be firme unlesse I accord with them in the same beliefe Heb 4.14 and that it may be knowne that through the grace of my God I hold fast the profession of my faith wherein I have lived even the same which was taught by my Saviour and his Apostles according to the trueth and puritie of the same without leaning either to prophanesse atheisme superstition or any other errour or heresie and to the intent that they may joyne with mee in thanksgiving to my God for preserving mee in the same and in prayer unto God that I may continue in the same both to the end in the end I will therfore cheerefully faithfully and confidently rehearse the articles of my beliefe and say I beleeve in God the Father Allmighty Maker of heaven and earth and in Iesus Christ his onely Sonne our Lord which was conceived by the holy Ghost borne of the Virgin Mary suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified dead and buried hee descended into hell the third day hee rose againe from the dead hee ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father All-mighty from thence hee shall come to judg the quick and the dead I beleeve in the holy Ghost the holy Catholike Church the Communion of Saints the forgivenesse of sinnes the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting Amen Thus I believe Lord helpe my un-beliefe Mar. 9.24 Eph. 4.14 and graunt that I may not be tossed to and fro and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lie in wayt to deceave vers 15 but that speaking and believing this trueth in love I may grow up unto him in all things which is the head even Christ my Redeemer And that I may thus repent mee of my sinnes and continue in love and persevere in the faith and submit to his good pleasure I will with a bended heart and a sorrowfull spirit and weeping eyes pray unto him and say exercise 3 3. The Prayer of the sick FAther of mercies Lord of life thou God which art a refuge in the time of trouble Ps 6.2 have mercy upon mee Ps 143.4 for I am weake and my heart with in mee is desolate A sinner I am I must confesse it not deserving thy mercy a fowle a grievous sinner I am who have disobeyed thy statutes and broken all thy commandements and never have I set my selfe in any good way to seeke my peace and reconciliation with thee My conscience check's mee and my sinnes testifie against mee and mine adversarie the devill strjveth to pluck from mee my considence in thee O Lord be thou my protectour and my gracious father Be reconciled unto mee in Iesus Christ in whom alone thou art well pleased Io 16.23 and in whose name whatsoëver I shall aske of thee I am sure thou wilt give it unto mee Heavenly Father doe thou assist mee doe thou comfort mee in these my trpâ—… and afflictions Ps 60.11 o be thou my helpe in trouble for vaine is the helpe of man To thee I cry to thee I come with a panting heart with a sorrowfull soule with an humble spirit I have sinned ô I have sinned and done amisse and my portion might be justly therfore in the land of darknesse there to be tormented with the devill and his angells forever But ô thou who hast promised to heale all those that are broken in heart Ps 147 3. and to bind up their wounds be reconciled unto mee in the wounds of my Redeemer Speake peace unto my conscience in this agony Ps 143.6 in this sorrowfull and deepe sighing for my skarlet sinnes To thee Ps 143.6 and to thee alone I stretch forth my hands to thee my soule gaspeth as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee ô Lord that soone for my spirit waxeth faint hide not thy face from mee lest I be like unto them that goe downe to destruction O let not these teares be refused nor these groanes be sighed and sobbed in vaine but by the power of his passion out of whose pretious side did issue both water and blood be thou reconciled unto mee the unworthiest of thy creatures Though my soule be deepely stained with the pollutions of my transgressions yet his blood hath power to make it white as snow On that remission of sinnes by his torments and sufferings doe I wholly rely My selfe I abhorre Iob 42.6 and repent in dust and ashes my workes I disclaine for I know their unworthinesse on thee alone ô my Iesus I wholly depend and by thee alone I hope for remission Be thou my Iesus be thou my Saviour Cure mee by thy wounds heale mee by thy stripes ease mee by thy torments comfort mee by thine agonie refresh my fainting soule by thy bluodie sweat revive mee by thy death and ô Sonne of God and Saviour of the world present mee to thy father in the robe of thy righteousnesse Ps 94.13 Give mee patience in this time of adversitie that I may quietly and contentedly submit to thy good pleasure rely upon thy mercy be thankfull for thy chastisement and in all things so looke up unto thee in this time of my sicknesse that I may hereafter be raised to glory by the power of thy resurrection This sicknesse for ought I know may be unto death but in thee I trust it shall be a passage unto life If thou hast passed the sentence of the first death upon mee decreeing to execute it by this my sicknesse to lay mee in the dust by this present visitation howsoever be pleased ô my father for the worthinesse of thy sonne to free met from the horrour of the second death Let mee be found of thee in peace 2. Pet 3 14. Hab 3.2 Is 9.13 Iob. 3.25 Mich 6 13. 1. Pet 4 19. Ps 119.175 that it may clearely appeare to mee that thou art a God of trueth and in the midst of judgment remembrest mercy Vnto thee I turne for thou hast smitten mee and the thing that I so greatly feared is fallen upon mee My body thou
makest sick in smiting by reason of my sinnes yet in considence and full assurance of thy mercy I commit the keeping of my soule unto thee as unto a faithfull Creatour O let that live and it shall praise thee for in thee doe I trust let mee not be confounded neither let mee despaire of the greatnesse of thy mercies Ps 23.4 And though now I walke in the shadow of death yet I know that it is in thy power to restore mee to health Lord if it may stand with thy secret will be pleased to recover mee that I may glorifie thy goodnesse in thy worke of power Blesse all the lawfull meanes that shall be used for that purpose Give skill to the Physitians vertue to the medicines strength to my spirits and health to my body Let mee recover my strength that I may imploy it in thy service and restore mee to health that I may be more active in mine obedience to all thy commandements But if otherwise thou hast determined and resolvest at this time to make mee as water spilt upon the ground 2. Sam. 14.14 graunt mee a willing and ready submission to thy decree Either abate the torments of mine afflicted body or increase my patience that I may not offend thee in my sufferings Make mee to magnifie thee whether by life or by death and graunt mee so safe a passage and conduct in the armes of thy mercy that I may be conveyed safely into Abraham's bosome Graunt this ô father for the love and merits of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely intercessour and redeemer in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Our Father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy Kingdome come Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our dayly bread And forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen exercise 4 4. The consolation of the godly in the hower of death VVHerfore is light given to him that is in miserie saith holy Iob and life unto the bitter in soule Iob. 3.20 vers 21 Which long for death but it cometh not and digge for it more then for hid treasures vers 22 Which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave This was the complaint of a faithfull man and may now be the lamentation of a sorrowfull woman I have grieved and I have mourned for my sinnes and my good God I blesse him for it is gratiously pleased in the bowells of his mercy and compassion to give mee an assurance of happinesse by the merits of my Iesus But when comest thou ô my sweete my longed for my desired Saviour Thou knowest my paines which draw from mee many sinsull thoughts and un-fitting cryes Thou takest notice of the cunning suggestions of my greatest adversarie and his busie allurements to rob mee of my hope Thou seest how sometimes hee would leade mee into carnall securitie and sometimes into a beliefe that my verie vicet are vertues or not seene by Thee or not to be punished by thee and sometimes againe hee striveth to hurrie mee into the verie gulfe of despaire But I know and am assured that through the merits of my Redeemer the gates of hell shall not be able to prevaile against mee Mat. 16 18. Io 13.1 Prov. 12.28 for whom thou lovest thou wilt love unto the end I know that in the way of righteousnesse there is life and in the path-way thereof there is noe death Hence away therfore yee fowle fiends and rebellious tempters What doe yee here fawning and grinning hoping to betray a penitent soule These teares which I shed for the wounds that I made in the body of my Saviour by my piercing sinns are too pretious a water for you to hath in too choyce a wine for you to tast of here are noe hopes for the enemies of mine indulgent Iesus Though my groanes alas cannot be free from the pollution of sinne yet they shall not advantage you in what yee desire Ps 119.115 Away from mee yee wicked ones I will keepe the commandements of my God Thinke not to affright mee with my approaching death Phil. 1.23 for I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Death I feare thee not come come and trye thy power but know that thy countenance which is so terrible to reprobates is the producer of joy comfort to my wearied heart Thou poore feeble despised nothing what power or strength is left thee to boast of Grave why gapest thou why standest thou so open as if thou didst hope to tryumph Hos 13 14. and conquer mee My Christ did threaten to be thy plagues ô death my Iesus did resolve to be thy destruction ô grave and that repentance should be hid from his eyes Is 25.8 1 Cor 15.54 Hee promised to swallow up death in victorie and to wipe away teares from off all faces This hee did promise and this hee hath performed for by his blessed Apostle I am well assured that death it selfe is swallowed up in victorie Now I dare challenge you ô yee impotent and powerlesse adversaries I dare scorne vers 55 and contemne you O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victorie Thy sting ô death was pullud out by him who is the Lord of life The strength of thy sting was that law which was fullfilled by my mercifull Iesus Hos 13 14. Ps 49.15 Rom 14.9 Hee hee hath ransomed mee from the power of the grave hath redeemed mee from death Hee hath redeemed my soule from the power of hell for hee shall receave mee To this end hee dyed and rose againe re-vived that hee might be Lord both of the dead and of the living Ps 68.20 Ps 48.14 Rom 14 7. vers 8. Hee that is my God is the God of salvation unto whom belong the issues from death This God is my God for ever and ever hee shall be my guide even unto death I live not to my selfe nor doe I dye unto my selfe for whether I live I live unto the Lord whether I dye I dye unto the Lord whether I live therfore Phil 1.20 or dye I am the Lord 's Christ shall be magnified in my body whether it be by life or by death for to mee to live is Christ vers 21 Heb. 12 18. vers 22 vers 23 vers 24 and to dye is gaine I come not to the mount that might not be touched nor to blacknesse and darknesse and tempest but I come unto mount Sion to the generall assemblie and â—rch of the first-borne which are written in heaven and to God the judg of all and to the spirits of just men made perfect and to Iesus the Mediatour of the new covenant and to the blood of sprinkling that
fierce wrath and repent of this evill against thy people Is 1.26 Turne thine hand upon us and purely purge a way our drosse and take away all our tinne vers 26 Restore our Iudges as at the first and our counsellers as at the beginning and call our land the land of righteousnesse vers 27 the faithfull land Let our Zion be redeemed with judgment and our converts with righteousnesse Ps 86.17 Shew some good token upon us for good that they which hate us may see it be ashamed because thou Lord helpest and comfortest us Heare ô my God in the bowells of thy compassions close and bind up our wounds for his sake who was wounded for our transgressions pardon us for his sake who is our onely reconciliation and let the cryes which our finns have sent up to heaven for vengeance be ceased and quieted by the blessed pleading of our onely Mediatour betweene thee and us even the beloved Sonne of thy bosome Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen The Second Prayer consisting of 1 A dolefull complaint of our grievous calamities 2 An humble desire of the remission of our sinns 3 A fervent supplication for righteousnesse and peace GReate and glorious Lord God who art the Lord of hosts 1. Sam. 17.45 Exod 15.3 and God of the armies of Israel ô thou who hast styled thy selfe a man of warre whose name is the Lord Looke downe I beseech thee upon the distressed anguish consuming sorrowes of this thy people in our land of blood Thou seest Lord thou seest the afflictions of Ioseph the calamities of thy people how our blood is shed like water on every side of our Kingdome how our bones lye scattered before the pit like as when one breaketh and heweth wood upon the earth How long Lord how long just and holy shall the prayers and the teares and the cries and the supplications of thy saints and servants ascend up unto heaven and yet thou seeme unto us as a deafe man which heareth not and as a man which is dumb Ps 38.13 that openeth not his mouth Is there noe balme in Gilead Is there noe physitian there Why then is nâ—… the health of the daughter of thy people recovered Ier O the hope of Israel the saviour thereof in the time of trouble why should thou be as a stranger in our land and as way-faring man that turneth a side to tarrâ— but a night Psal Thou hast moved our land and divided it ô heale the sores thereof for it shaketh O let the sorrowfull sighing of the prisoners come before thee according to the multitude of thy mercies preserve thou those that are appointed to death Arise ô Lord from thy resting place thou and the arke of thy strength Arise and have mercy upon our Sion for it is time that thou have mercy upon her yea the time is come for why Thâ— servants thinke upon her stones and it greiveth us to see how shee lyeth downe in the dust O now at last be thou favourable and gracious to our Sion and build thou the walls of our Ierusalem Send peace within our walls and plenteousnesse within our pallaces For our brethrens and companions sake I wish this prosperitie yea because of the many houses of the faithfull who put their trust in thee our Lord our God I pray for this good Exod. 3 7. Thou o Lord hast surely seene the afflictions of this thy people and hast heard our cries by reason of the sword for thou knowest our sorrowes vers 8. O come thou downe to deliver us as once thou didst thy people of Israel from the hand of the Egyptians Thou seest how the sword is drawne in an unnatuâ—…ll manner brother against brother neighâ—our against neighbour house against house â—ather against Sonne and Sonne against Father all having weapons of warre which â—re like to destroy the nation all clothing â—hemselves in garments rolled in blood Isa 9.5 Thou seest how many amongst us thirst for blood how whole rivers thereof runne in our fields and in our streetes yet it is not in the power or pollicie of man to stoppe the current It is now o Lord with us as it was once with idolatrous Israel when Moses commanded them saying Exod. 32.27 Put every man his sword by his side and goe in and out and slay every man his brother and every man his companion and every man his neighbour Psal Thy holy temples are defiled and without thy preventing mercy our Ierusalem may be made an heape of stones Heresie and Schisme oppose the cleere light of thy glorious gospel Ps 137.7 and like the children of Edom in the day of Ierusalem they say even of truth it selfe downe with it downe with it even to the ground Many of our citties and townes doe now sitt solitarie Lam. 1 1. c 2.11 that were full of people and are become as widdowes The children and sucklings swoone in our streetes the widows make their lamentations over the gasping bodies of their wounded husbands the young ones cry for bread but some of them find neither fathers to give it theÌ„ nor mothers to compassionate them Is 33.8 The high wayes lye wast 〈◊〉 way-faring man ceaseth the line of confusâ—… is stretched out upon the land c. 34.11 the stones of eâ—…ptinesse vers 13 Thornes come up in our pallaces netâ— and brambles in our streetes and houses aâ— become habitations of dragons c. 8.21 and courts fâ— owles Some wicked ones among us that aâ— hungry Lam. 2.9 fret themselves and curse our Kinâ— and our god and looke upward The law iâ— noe more vers 10 the Prophets allso find noe visâ—… from thee the Lord. The elders sit upon the ground and keepe silence they have cast up dâ—…t upon their heads they have girded themselves with sack-cloth the virgins hâ—… downe their heads to the ground It is not noâ— as it was in the dayes of ould Luc. 7.25 when men clothâ— in soft raiment and they which were gorgeousâ— apparelled and lived delicately were in King courts Is 1.7 Our countrie is desolate our citties aâ— burnt with fire and our land is desolate as orâ— throwne by strangers Lam 5.1 Remember ô Lord who is come upon thy people consider and behold on reproach vers 2. Some of our inheritances are turned to strangers and our houses to aliants Many among us are orphans and fatherlesse vers 3. and many that were wives are become widowes Many doe get their bread with the perill of their lives vers 9. Ps 142.7 vers 6. Ps 94.19 because of the sword that maketh our land a wildernesse O Lord doe thou consider our complaint for wee are brought very low Thou ô Lord art our hope and our portion in the multitude of sorrowes which wee have in our â—…rts let thy comforts ô my God refresh our â—…les Heare ô Lord and
have mercy upon us Ps 30.11 Ps 65.2 Ps 69.34 â—ord be thou our helper O thou that hearest â—rayer thou that hearest the poore and despisest â—ot the prisoners cause thou us to fast and â—ay and reade and weepe and repent as thou â—equirest Is 58.8 that our light may breake forth as the â—orning our health may spring forth speedily â—o our righteousnesse shall goe forth before us â—he glory of thee our Lord shall be our reward Mat 2.18 Oh how dolefull is this voyce which is heard in â—ur Rama this lamentation and weeping and great mourning Rachel weeping for her children â—nd will not be comforted because they are not Al-mighty God everlasting father Is 9.6 prince of â—eace thou who didst comfort thy disciples that in thee they might have peace Io. 16.33 Gen 8.11 because in the world they should have tribulation be pleased I beseech thee in mercy to send thy dove with the olive leafe of peace into this our distressed Kingdome When thy servant Solomon dedicated his temple to thy holy worship he prayed unto thee and sayd 1 King 8.33 When thy people Israel shall be smitten downe before the enemie because they have sinned against thee and shall turne againe to thee and confesse thy name and pray vers 34 and make supplication unto thee Then heare thou in heaven and forgive the sinne of thy people Israel and bring them againe to the land which thou gavest to their fathers Heavenly father wâ— are smitten downe before our enemies anâ— that because wee have sinned against thee but by thy grace wee turne againe to the and confesse thy name and pray and makâ— our supplications to thee in thy templesâ— Heare thou us in heaven and forgive thâ— sinns of thy distressed and back-sliding Israel compose our grievous divisions and destructions Mercifull father bow downe thine eare to mee the worst of all this thine Israel who in the name of our whole nation doe here beseech thee to be pacified with this broken Kingdome smitten downe with its owne bloody and sharpest sword Make us all 〈◊〉 turne againe unto thee and pray and maâ—… our supplications unto thee more frequentâ— and more fervently then formerly wee haâ—… done that thou mayst heare us and he alt our land O thou sword of the Lord hoâ— long will it be ere thou be quiet Ier 47.6 Put up thy sell into thy skabbard rest and be still O God of peace ô Prince of peace thou and thoâ— onely it is who makest warrs to cease in all the world Ps 46.9 when so thou pleasest who breakest the bowe and knappest the speare iâ— sunder and burnest the chariots in the fire O give thou unto us thy wounded people such rest on every side 1. King 5.4 c 8.57 that wee may have neither adversarie nor evill occurrent Doe thou o Lord our God be with us as thou wert with our fathers doe not leave us nor forâ—ke us Make us incline our hearts to thee vers 58 â—d walke in thy wayes and keepe thy comâ—andements and thy statutes and thy judgâ—ents which thou commandedst our fathers Thou o God art the God of peace thou Rom 15.33 〈◊〉 Christ art the Prince of peace thou o heaâ—enly and blessed Spirit art the Dove of â—eace o thou united Trinitie give peace in his our land that wee may lie downe Lev 26 6. and â—one may make us afraid O let not the â—word any longer goe through our land but doe â—hou walke among us and be our God vers 12 and let â—s be thy people Give peace in our time 〈◊〉 Lord let the righteous flourish Ps 72.7 yea and â—boundance of peace so long as the moone endureth Give the King thy judgments vers 1. 〈◊〉 God and thy righteousnesse unto the Kings Sonnes Let the mountaines bring forth peace vers 3. and the litle hills righteousnesse unto thy people O King of Kings and Lord of Lords doe thou in mercy direct and continue our Soveraigne Lord the King in the truth and purity of our religion without inclining either to the right hand or to the left Make him allways a Royall protectour a zealous professour and a constant practiser of the same Blesse him o thou God of blessings in his Royall Person blesse him in his Consort blesse him in his Issue blesse him in his Counsellers and blesse him in all his People even froÌ„ Dan to Beersheba Be propitious ô thou wonderfull Counsellâ— in an especiall and peculiar manner unto thâ— head and members of our high and most honâ—…rable Parliament Doe thou knitt and unâ— them doe thou guide and direct them in aâ— their counsells and consultations that they maâ— unanimously joyntly conclude upon such who some lawes as may tend to the suppression oâ— wickednesse and vice and the maintenance of thy true religion and vertue rooting up all atheisne and profanenesse all herefie and superstition all schisme and faction that both church and common wealth may be religiously and firmely knitted and tyed together in the unitie of the spirit Ps 85.11 by the bond of peace Let thy truth o Goâ— of truth flourish out of the earth and righteounesse looke downe from heaven Doe thou Loâ— shew thy loving kindnesse unto thy people vers 12 〈◊〉 let our land give it's increase Let thy peopâ—… dwell in peaceable habitations Isa 32.18 and in suâ— dwellings and in quiet resting places Cauâ—… thou us to beate our swords into ploâ— shares c 2.4 and our speares into pruning-hookesâ— and suffer us not to learne such civill warâ— any more c 11.5 Let righteousnesse be the girdâ— of our loynes and faithfulnesse the girdle of our reines vers 6. Let the wolfe allso dwell with tâ— lamb and the leopard lie downe with the kiâ— and the calfe and the young lyon and the fatling together and let a litle child leadâ— them vers 8. Let a sucking child play on the hole of â—he aspe and a weaned child put his hand on the â—ockatrice denne Breake thou the bowe Hos 2.18 and the sword and the battell out of the earth and make us to lie downe safely vers 19 Betroth us unto thee for ever in righteousnesse and in judgment and in loving kindnesse and in mercies O let us sit downe every one under our vines Mic 4.4 and under our fig trees let there be none en make us afraid Glory be to thee ô God in the highest Luc 2.14 Io 14.27 1. Sam. 25.6 2. Thes 3.16 Rom 5.1 Eph. 2.14 and on earth peace and good will towards men Suffer not ô eternall peace the hearts of us to be troubled neither let us be afraid Peace be both to us and peace be to our houses and peace be to all that wee have and that in and through him who is the Lord of peace Iustifie us all by faith that wee may have peace with thee
1. King 2.2 Iob. 17.1 My breath and my spirits allmost are spent my dayes are neere extinct and now the grave is ready for mee doe thou ô my God prepare mee for thy selfe With thee I long and desire to live To thee I desire to sing praises with the glorified Saints in thy celestiall Paradise O free mee from the burden of the flesh and the fetters of sinne and graunt that when I shall render thee an account of my yeeres I may behold thy face with comfort and joy Let me with desire attend the time of my change and the hopefull expectation of a happie resurrection Come ô my God and free mee from the bondage of sinne and corruption that I may sitt at thy right hand for ever and ever Heare mee ô father and graunt my petitions through the meritorious death of the Lord of life even Iesus Christ my onely mediatour and redeemer Amen subject 11 THE ELEVENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Barren woman The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen God had created Adam and Eve hee blessed them Gen 1.28 and said Be fruitfull and multiply and replenish the earth This was a blessing in the time of innocency but did it remaine a blessing after the fall Yes doubtlesse for long after the breach of the first commandement the Psalmist determined that Children are an heritage of the Lord Ps 127 3. and the fruit of the wombe is his reward Yet though it remaineth a blessing it is not without the societie of a punishment for so the Lord said unto the woman Gen 3.16 I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children This sorrow is an effect of sinne and not a sorrow for sin Yet surely it hath something in it above or beside a punishment for the first offence for neither is the sorrow in it selfe a sinne as is allwayes that which is onely worldly which beginneth continueth and endeth in griefe nor doeth this sorrow conclude in either sin or shame Io 16.21 or griese but as our Saviour saith As soone as shee is delivered of the child sh◠remembreth noe more the anguish for joy that a man is borne into the world The paine is a remembrancer of originall corruption but the issue is a continuance of the blessing in Paradise This paine I am freed from whilest I continue barren but then I want the blessing and the joy which accompanie the paine But why doe I complaine Why doe I disturbe my selfe for want of that which might become my tormentour All children are not blessed all are not elected to be heires of salvation Mat 20 16. Many indeede are called but few are chosen Doubtlesse Cain and Ham and Esau and Iudas and many millions besides did cost their mothers many bitter throwes and torments and cryes yet reaped not their parents that joy which others have receaved Is it not then better for mee to content my selfe with this state which I am in then to be the mother of a child which might be a fire-brand of hell All are not chosen to be vessells unto honour 2. Tim. 2.21 The way to destruction is a beaten roade My torments would be greater were I the mother of a child for feare that my child should dishonour my God then they could be with bringing that child into the world The cares of parents are full of trembling and disquietnesse allways suspecting ill accidents or diseases or which is worse a second death to befall their issues Reu 21 8. From these I am freed whilest I continue fruitlesse and I enjoy the societie of a husband without the disturbance of children But yet mee think's I rest not satisfied for barrennesse was ever accounted a reproach therfore Elizabeth upon her conception sayd Luc 1.25 Thus hath the Lord dealt with mee in the dayes wherein hee looked on mee to take away my reproach among men Gen 16 4. Thus when Hagar had conceaved by Abram her mistresse Sarai was despised in her eyes But alasse what 's this A litle reproach it may be among men but such as cannot continue long not longer at most then my life shall last and then it will cease or at least not trouble mee Surely it is not so contemptible in the eyes of my God for if so it were then Iob would not put it as a marke of the wicked Iob 24 21. that Hee evill intreateth the barren that beareth not And yet I suspect that some grievous sinne is the cause of mine affliction for barrennesse hath beene often sent as a curse and fruitfullnesse as a blessing How happie was the wife of Terah in her faithfull Sonne Abraham How happie was Iochebed in her meeke Sonne Moses How happie was Elizabeth in Iohn the Baptist But how most happie of all was the virgin Mary in her holy child Iesus prononnced so by he◠cosijn Elizabeth who sayd unto her Blessed art thou among women Luc 1.42 and blessed is the fruit of thy wombe This blessing mee thinks I seriously long for though I cannot expect a child of such excellency as was Abraham or Moses or Iohn the Baptist But why doe I thus disturbe my selfe about that which is not in my power to amend or alter Fruitfullnesse hath not allways beene a token of mercy sometimes it hath spoken the wrath of the All-mighty 2. Sam. 11.5 Bathsheba indeede was free from barrennesse but her child by King David was the spurious issue of a defiled bed Such sinister practises have beene the faults of diverse who have rather chosen to dishonour God then to be despised by men But this remedie would prove farre worse then the disease if I should seeke to be pregnant by the wayes of wickednesse Thus to become a mother I should dishonour my husband and which is infinitely worse my Lord and my God Thus should I desclayme the protection of God my father and the love of mine indulgent husband and all in a wicked and lustfull curiositie to take away my reproach among men Yea thus by endeavouring to salve my credit I should more deepely wound it and to avoyd a contempt for what I cannot helpe I should be branded with infamie which I could never wipe off Conscience and obedience to the lawes of my God forbid the thought of so dangerous a cure loyaltie and affection to my husband deny it love and desire of vertue chide it yea and care of my good name doeth plainly prohibit it I had rather continue for a time a reproached Elizabeth then be a lustfull Bathsheba to be the wife of a King It lyeth in the power of him who is omnipotent to make mee if hee pleaseth a joyfull mother I will not despaire while I live upon the earth because I
know that my God is powerfull who dwelleth in heaven This barrennesse may peradventure be sent mee in mercy allthough so heavily I take it for a judgment It may be I should faile in the duety of patience in the time of my travell or of love and care in the education of my children or I might be too fondly guiltie of doating on them so idolatrously robbe my God of his honour to conferre it wickedly on the issue of my loynes Moreover who knoweth what times of trouble may come upon the land or what destruction and desolation may be sent upon my countrie If persecution or warre should enforce mee to flee I can the better escape now I am free from children For this very cause my blessed Redeemer foretelling the distruction of the citty of Ierusalem sayd unto the women Daughters of Ierâ—salem weepe not for mee Lu 23.28 vers 29 but weepe for your selves and for your children For behold the dayes are comeing in the which they shall say Blessed are the barren and the wombe that never bare and the pappes that never gave suck So this barrennesse may bring content in that it freeth mee from cares and various perturbations although if it might seeme good in the eyes of my God most willingly would I embrace the trouble that I might increase his Kingdome I will resolve howsoëver to submit my selfe to the greate disposer and will hope that it may be his pleasure to send mee my desires Time was when the Gentiles knew not God which made the Psalmist so magnifie God for his mercies to Israël Ps 147.19 when hee sayd Hee sheweth his word unto Iacob his statutes and his judgments unto Israël vers 20 Hee hath not dealt so with any nation neither have the heathen knowledg of his law Then had the Gentiles a spirituall barrennesse for they were barren of religion and yet the Prophet comforteth them Is 54.1 saying Sing ô barren thou that didest not beare breake forth into singing and cry alowd thou that didst not travell with child for more are the children of the desolate then the children of the maried wife saith the Lord. This Prophesie is fullfilled to the joy and rejoycing of my selfe and many millions more for the song doeth noe longer runne in the phrase of the Psalmist Ps 76.1 ves 2. In Iudah is God knowne his name is greate in Israel In Salem allso is his tabernacle and his dwelling place in Sion Noe noe Lu 2.32 hee who was the glory of the people Israel did come to be a light to lighten the Gentiles Thus the Gentiles which had not beene a people Rom. 9 25. were called to be the people of the most high God shee who had not beene beloved did through his mercy become the beloved of God and shee that was barren through ignorance and infidelitie grew the faithfull spouse of the most high Why should I then give over my hopes Hee who made a fruitfull church even of the heathen which knew him not Is 54.3 can if hee pleaseth make mee a fruitfull mother of children verf 5. Her maker is her husband the Lord of hosts is his name and her redeemer is the holy one of Israel the God of the whole earth shall hee be called I am one of the members of that church which hath Christ to her husband I will therfore never despaire either of his power or mercy I dare not repine as Rachel did when shee bare Iacob noe children and envyed her sister Gen 34 1. vers 2. I dare not say to my husband as shee did to hers Give mee children or else I dye lest his anger should be kindled against mee and hee should answer mee as Iacob did her and say Am I in God's steed who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the wombe I know it is God who giveth and I know it is God who withholdeth these mercies I dare not be too inquisitive into a reason in nature lest I dis-honour him who is the God of nature I may and I will desire this blessing at the hands of him who giveth liberally Iam 1.5 and upbraideth not Yet lest my petitions should be empty if they rise not with teares I will weepe for my sinnes which have caused his displeasure and yet I will weepe in hope that hee will be reconciled unto mee Of every judgment I must find the cause in the wickednesse of my selfe I want the comfort and content of children because I my selfe have beene a child disobedient to my God But I will bewayle my sinnes and bemoane my condition and allthough hee cannot be ignorant of my servent desires yet I will lay open to him the griefe of my heart Gen 25 21. Isaak intreated him for his wife because shee was barren and hee was intreated of him and Rebekah his wife conceaved And shee had two children which strugled together in their mother's wombe ver 22 At the prayer of Elisha the good Shunamitish woman conceaved 2. King 4.17 Gen 20 17. and bare a sonne at that very season that Elisha had sayd unto her according to the time of life Faithfull Abraham prayed unto the Lord and the Lord healed Abimelech and his wife and his mayd servants and they bare children vers 18 for the Lord had first closed up all the wombes of the house of Abimelech because of Sarah Abrahams wife The Lord did promise unto Israël upon obedience saying There shall nothing cast their young Ex. 23.26 Deut. 7 12. nor be barren in thy land Another promise was made unto them by God himselfe when hee sayd It shall come to passe if yee hearken to these judgments and doe them Thou shalt be blessed above all people there shall not be male or female barren among you or among your cattell Againe they were promised by the mouth of Moses saying It shall come to passe c. 28.1 if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voyce of the Lord thy God to observe and to doe all the commandements which I command thee this day vers 11 the Lord shall make thee plenteous in goods in the fruit of thy body and in the fruit of thy cattell and in the fruit of thy ground in the land which the Lord sware unto thy fathers to give thee But I have not such an Isaak to intreate for mee as Rebekah had nor such an Elisha as the Shunamitesse had nor such an Abraham as Abimelech had What then I have the promise of my God if I be a true Israëlite indeede Io. 1.47 such a one as Nathaniel was in whom was noe guile If I obey my God and hearken to his judgments and doe them If I hearken diligently unto the voyce of the Lord my God to observe and to doe all the commandements which hee commandeth mee to doe then I may expect the blessing which was promised unto Israël The promises of God are made upon conditions