A KNIGHTS Coniuring Done in earnest Discouered in Iest. By Thomas Dekker LONDON Printed by T. C. for VVilliam Barley and are to be solde at his Shop in Gratious streete 1607. TO THE VERIE worthy Gentleman Syr Thomas Glouer Knight SIr the loue I owe your name for some fauours by mee receiued from that noble-minded Gentleman your kinseman whâ— is now imploied vpon an honourable voiage into Turky makes my labours presume they shal not be vnwelcome to you If you please to read me ouer you shall finde much morrall matter in words merily â—et down and a serious subiect inclosde in applications that to some whose salt of iudgement is taken off may appeare but triuiall and ridiculous The streame of custome which flows through al kingdoms amongst schollers in this fashion beares mee forward and vp in this boldnes It being as common to seeke patrons to bookes as Godfathers to children Yet the fashion of some patrons especially those that doate more vpon mony who is a common harlot then on the Muses who are pure maides but poore ones is to receiue bookes with cold hands hot liuers they giue nothing and yet haue red cheekes for anger when any thing is giuen to them I take you Sir to bee none of that race the world bestowes vpon you a more worthy Caracter If the Art of my Pen can by any better labour heighten yoâ—r name and memory you shall find my loue Most readie to be all yours Tho Dekker To the Reader AN Epistle to the Reader is but the same propertie that a linck is to a man walking home late he hopes by that and good words tho he be examined to passe without danger yet when he comes to the gates if hee meete with a porter that is an Asse or with a constable that loues to lay about him with his staffe of authoritie more then he needes then let the partie that stumbles into these prouinces or puddels of ignorance bee sure either to bee strucke downe with barbarisme which cutteth worse then a browne bill or to be committed and haue the seuerest censure laide vpon him let him bee neuer so well and so ciuilly bound vp in faire behauiour though hee be a man euen printed in the best complements of courtesie tho he giue neuer so many and so sweet languages yea and haue all the light of vnderstanding to lead him home yet those Spirits of the night will hale him away and cast him into darkenesse In the selfe-same scuruey manner doe the world handle poore bookes when a Reader is intreated to bee curteous hee growes vâ—ciuil if you sue to his worship and giue him the stile of Candido Lectorâ— then hee 's proud and cries mew If you write merily he cals you Buâ—â—on seriously he swears such stuffe cannot be yours But the best is that as in Spaine you shall haue fellowes for a small peece of siluer take the Sâ—rappado to endure which torture another man could not be hyrde with a kingdome so they that haue once or twice lyen vpon the rack of publicke censure of all other deaths doe least feare that vpon the Presse Of that Wiâ—g I hold my selfe one and therfore Reader doe I once more stand at the marke of Criticisme and of thy bolt to bee shot at I haue Armour enough about mee that warrants meâ— not to bee fearefull and yet so well tempered to my courage that I will not bee too bolde Enuie in these ciuill warres may hit me but not hurt mee Calumny may wound my name but not kill my labours proude of which my care is the lesse because I can as proudly boast with the Poet that Non 〈…〉 bee â—wordsâ— mori Tho Dekker A KNIGHTS Coniuring CHAP. I. To enlarge Golde there 's a petition writ The Diuell knowes not how to answer it Hee chafes to come in print In which mad Straine Roaring hee heaâ—long runnes to Hell againe IN one of those mornings of the yere wherin the Earth breathes out richer peâ—fumes then those that prepare the wayes of Princes by the wholesomnesse of whose Sent the distempered windes purging their able bodies ran too and fro whistling for ioye through the leaues of trees whilst the Nightingale sate on the branches complaining against lust the Sparrow cherping on the tops of houses proude that lust which he loues was maintained there whilst sheepe lay nibling in the valleys to teach men huâ—mility and goates climbing vp to the tops of barren mountaines browzed there vpon weedes and barkes of trees to shew the misery of Ambition Iust at that time when Lambes were wanton as yong wiues but not lasciuious when shepherds had care to feede their flockes but not to fliecâ— them when the Larke had with his musicke calld vp the Sun and the Sun with his light started vp the husband man then euen â—hen when it was a morning to tempt Ioue to leap from heauen to goe a wenching or to make wencâ—â—s leaue their softe beds to haue greene gownes geuen them in the fields Behold on a sudden the caues where the most vnruly and boisterous windes lay imprisoned were violently burst open they being got loose the waters roard with feare of that insurrection the element shot out thunder in disdayne of their threatning the sturdiest oakes were theÌ„ glad to bow stand quiuering onely the haw-thorne the bryer for their humblenes were out of danger So dreadfull a furie lead forth this tempest that had not the Rainebowt beene a watermarke to the world Men would haue looked for a second Deluge for showre came downe so â—ast as if all clowdes had bin distild into water would haue hid their curled heads in the Sea whilst the waues in corne to see themselues so beaten downe boylde vp to such height as if they meant that all men should swarm in heauen and shippes to sayle in the Skie To make these terrors more heauie the Sun pulld in his head and durst not be seene darknes then in â—riumph spred her pitchie wings and lay vpon all the earth the blacknes of Night was doubled vpon high Noone Beasts beeing not wont to beholde such sightes bellowed and were mad women ran out of their wits children into their mothers bosomes Men were amazed and held vp their hands to heauen yet were verilie perswaded that heauen was consumde to nothing because they could not see it but to put them out of that error Ioue threwe downe his forked dartes of lightning so thickly that â—imple fellowes swore there could bee no more fire left in heauen So that the world shewd as if it had bin halfe drowning and halfe burning the waters striuing to haue victory ouer the flames and they sweating as fast to drink driâ— the waters To conclude this Tragedie was so long a playing was so dismall the Scoene was so turbulent and was so affrighting This battaile of Elements bred such another Chaos that not to bee ashamde to borrow the wordes of so rare an
according to the manner of Suiters bee borne off with delayes The petition being ingrossed he thought none could run faster to hell nor be sooner let in there then either a Pander a Broker or a knight of the Post had made choise therfore of the last because of his name sent it by him who belike hauing much to doe with the Diuell could not of a long time be heard of and for that cause was all that Coniuring which I spoke of before Wherevpon entring into consideration what shifts and shapes men run into what basenes they put on through what dangers they venture hold much of their fames their conscience their liues yea of their houses they will laye out to purchase that piece of Heauenly earth Golde the strange Magick of it draue me straight into a strange admiration I perceiu'de it to be a witch-craft beyond mans power to contend with a Torrent whose winding creekes were not with safety to be searcht out a poyson that had a thousand contrarie workings on a thousand bodies for it turnes those that keepe it prisoner in chests into Slaues and Idolaters they make it their god and worship it and yet euen those that become such Slaues vnto it doth it make soueraine commanders ouer a world of people some for the loue of it would pluck downe heauen others to ouertake it runne quick to hell But alas if a good head hammer out these Irâ—ns with skill they are not so hard It is not so monstrous a birth to see Golâ— create men so deâ—ormed for this strompet the world hath tricks as wanton as these he that euery night lyes by the sides of one fairer then Vulcans wife hath been taken the next morning in the Sheetes of a Blackamore Nay euen in those currants that run fullest of Ceremony there 's a flowing ouer of Apishnes and folly for like Riders of great horses all our Courses are but Figures of 8 the end of one giddie Circle is but a falling into a worse that to which on this day we allow a religiouâ— obseruance to morrowe doe we make the selfe-same thing ridiculous For you see at the end of great Battailes wee fall to burie the dead and at the ende of Burialls wee sit downe to Banquets when banquets haue beene playd about Drinking is the next weapon from the fire oâ— drinking flames out Quarrell Quarrell breakes forth into Fighting and the streame of Fighting runnâ—s into Bloud This Forrâ—st of Man and beast the World beeing then so wilde and the most perfect Circles of it drawne so irregualler 〈◊〉 It can be no great sawcines in me if snatching the Constables staffe out of his hand I take vpon mee to make a busie priuy sâ—â—rch in the Suburbs of Sathan for the supplication-caryer and to publish the answer to the world that should come with him Into the which troublesome sea I am the more desperatly bold to lanch forth to hoyst vp the full sailes of my inueÌ„tion because as Rumor goes gossiping vp and downe great wagers were laide in the worlde c that when the supplication was sent it would not be receiued or if receiued it would not be reade ouer or if read ouer it would not be answered â—or Mammon beeing the god of no beggers but Burgomasters rich CormoraÌ„ts was worse thought of then he deserued Euery man that did but passe through Pauls church-yard had but a glance at the title of the petition would haue betted ten to fiue that the Diuell would hardly like a Lawyer in a busy Terme be spoken with because his Client had not a penny to pay Fees but sued in Forma pauperis Had it bene a Challenge it is cleare he would haue answered it for hee was the first that kept a Fence schoole when Cayn was aliue and taught him that Embrocado by which he kild his brother Since which time he hath made ten thousand Freeschollers as cunning as Cayn At sword and buckler little Dauy was no body to him and as for Rapier Dagger the Germane may be his iourneyman Mary the question is in which of the Playhouses he would haue performed his Prize if it had growne to blowes whether the money being gathered hee would haue cozende the Fencers or the Fencers him because Hell beeing vnder euerie one of their Stages the Players if they had owed him a spight might with a false trap-dore haue slipt him down there haue kept him as a laughing-stock to all their yawning Spectators Or had his Iâ—â—erâ—allship ben arrested to any action how great so euer all the Lawe in Westminsterâ—hall could not haue kept him from appearing to it for the Diuell scornes to be nonsuited he would haue answered that too But the mischiefe would haue beene where should hee haue got anie that would haue pleaded for him who could haue endured to see such a daÌ„nable Cliant euery morning in his chamber what waterman for double his fare would haue landed him at the Temple but rather haue strucke in at White-Fryers left him there a shore with a Poxe to him Tush there was no such matter the streame hee was to enter into was not so daungeroâ—s this Coyner of Light Angels knewe well enough how the Exchaunge went he had but bare words lent vnto him and to pay bare wordes againe though with some Interest it could be no losse He resolued therefore to aunswere his humble Orator But being himselfe noâ— brought vp to learning for the Diuell can neither write not reade yet he has ben at all the Vniuersities in Christendom throwne daÌ„nable Heresies like boâ—es for dogges to gnaw vpon amongst the Doctors themselues but hauing no skill but in his owne Horne booke it troubled his mind where he should get a pen-man fit for his tooth to scrible for him all the Scriueners iâ—th towne he had at his becke but they were so set a worke with making bonds betweene Vsurers and Vnthristy heyres between Marchaâ—ts and Trades-men that to couzen and vndoe others turne Bank-rowtes themselues and defeate Credâ—â—ouis and with drawing close conueyances betweene Land-lordes and Bawdes that nowe sit no longer vpon the Skyrtes of the Cittie but iette vp vp and downe euen in the cloake of the Cittie and giue more rent for a house then the prowdest London occupyer of them all that Don Lucifer was loath to take them from their Nouerints because in the ende he knewe they were but his Factors and that he should be a part-owner in their lading himselfe Lawiers clarks were so durtied vp to the hammes with trudging vp downe to get pelfe with fishing for gudgeons and so wrung poore ignorant Clyents purses with exacting vnreasonable Fees that the Paye-maister of Perdition would by no meanes take them from their wide lines and bursten-bellyed straggling â—ffs but stroking them vnder the chinnes calld them his white boyes and tolde them he would empty the ynkepot of some others Whether then marches
English Spirit Did not GOD say Another Fiat It had n'ere been day The storme beeing at rest what buying vp of Almanacks was there to see if the weather-casters had playd the Doctors to a haire told this terrible disease of Nature right or no but there could be found no such matter the celestiall bodies for any thing Stâ—r-caâ—chers knew were in very good health the 12. Signes were not beaten downe from any of the houses in heauen the Sun lookt with as cherry cheekes as euer he did the Moone with as plump a face It could not be found by all the figures which their Prognostications cast vp their accounts by that any such heauy reckoning was due to the wickednes of the world whervpon all men stood staring one in anothers face not knowing how to turne this hard matter into good English At length the gun-powder was smelt out and the trayne discouered It was knowne for certain that tho there was no plaâ—e lost there was coniuring abroad and therefore that was the dambd diuell in the vault that digd vp all this mischiefe But wherabouts think you was this Coniuring Mary it goes for currant all ouer Powles church-yard and I hope there comes no lies that this Coniuring was about a Knight It was not let me tell you a Knight of worship or a Knight that goes by water or rides by land to Westminster but it was a Westminster-hall knight a swearing knight or not to allow him that honor for hee is no true knight that cannot â—weare this was a knight forsworne a poore knight a periurde knight a knight of the Poâ—â— This yeoman of both Counters had long agoe bin senâ— with a letter to the Diuell but no answere could euer be heard off so that some mad fellowes layd their heads together swore to fetch him from Hell with a vengeance and for that cause kept they thiâ— Coniuring The occasion of sending the letter grew thus the temple of the Muses for want of looking to falling to decay many that seemd to hate Barâ—arisme and Ignor ance beeing desirous to set workmen about it and to repaire it but hauing other buildings of their owne in hand vtterly gaue it ouer A Common Councell was therfore call'd of all those that liu'de by their witts and such as were of the liuery of Learning amongst whom it was found necessarie sithence those that had mony enough were loath to part from it that to ease the priuate puise a generall subsidy as it were should be leuyed through all the Worlde for the raizing of such a competent Summe as might maintaine the saide Almes-house of the Nine Systers in good fashion and keepe it from falling The collectors of this money labourde till they swetâ—e but the Haruest would not come in nothing could bee gathered Gentlemen swore by their bloud by the tombs of their ancestors they would not lay out a peny they had nothing to doe they said with the Muses they were meere strangers to them and why should they be assessed to paye any thing towards the reliefe of such lazy companions there was no wit in it A number of Noble men were of the same opinion As for Lawyers they knew there was no Statute in anie Kings time could compell them to disburse besides they were euery day purchasing theÌ„selues so that it were folly to looke for any mony from them Soldiers swore by their Armes which were most lamentablie out at elbowes that they would be glad of mony to buâ—prouant Peace they said had made them beggâ—r and suffered them almost to starue in her streetes yet some of them went vpon lame wodden legs because their Country might goe sound and vpright vpon their own they pore wretches wanted Action and yet had a number of Actions against them yea were ebbed so lowe that Captens gaue ouer their charges were lead by Serieants no siluer therefore could be coynde out of them Schollers could haue found in their hearts to haue made mony of their bookes gownes corner caps bedding to haue payde their share towards this worke of Charitie but men held all that was theirs howe good soeuer in such vile conteÌ„pt that not euen those who vpon a good pawne will lend money to the Diuell I meane Brokers would to them part with any coyne vpon any Interest so much did they hate the poore wenches and their followers This matter beeing openly complainde vpon at the Parliament of the Gods It was there presently enacted that Apollo out of whose brayne Wisemen come into the world shuld with all speed descend and preuent this mischiefe least Sacred Knowledge hauing her Intellectuall soule banished from the earth hauing no house to dwel in there the earth should as of necessity it would turne into the first Chaos and Men into Gyants to fight againe with the Gods Mercury likewise for the same purpose was forthwith sent from the whole Synode as Embassadour to Plutus who is monâ—ymaister of those Lowe Countreyes of Lymbo to â—â—rswade him by all the eloquence that Hermes coâ—ld vse that Gold might be suffred to haue a little more liberty And that schollers for want of his sweete and royall company might not be driuen to walk in thred-bare cloakes to the dishonor of Learning nor goe all their life time with a lanthorne candle to find the Philosophers stone out of which they are able if they could hit it to strike such sparks of gold that all the world should be the waâ—mer for it nay to begger the Iudges yet in the end to die arraâ—t beggers themselues For you must vnderstand that tho the Muses are held of no reckoning here vpon earth but are set below the Salt when Asses sit at the vpper ende of the table yet are they borne of a heauenlie race and are most welcome guests euen to the banquets of the Gods The diuine Singer Apollo according to the Decree of the Coelestiall vpper House is now aliue come vpon earth the fountaines of Science flowe by his influence swell to the brim Baye trees to make garlandes for Learning are newe set and alreadie are greene the Muses haue fresh cullours in their cheekes their Temple is promised to be made more faire there is good hope that Ignorance shall no longer weare Sattin But for all this Mercury with all his Coniuring cannot raise vp the yellowe spiâ—it of Gold out of Hell so perfectly as was expected he puts vp his bright aâ—iaâ—le face aboue ground and shrincks it downe againe ere one can caâ—â—â—e him by the lockes Which mockery the world taking note of a mad Greeke that had drunk of the Holy water and was full of the Diuine Furie taking a deep bowle of the Helliconian liquor in his hands did in a brauery write a Supplication in the behalfe of Gold for his enlargement vowing that hee would spend all his bloud into yncke and his braines to cotton but he would haue an answere and not
they lye safe enough and that no cheater can hook them out of our hands bid them sweate and sweare in their vocation as they doâ— hourely if thou beeing a knight of the Post canst not helpe them to oathes that may make them get the Diuell and all they haue a sound Carde on their sides for I my selfe will Abi in malam goâ— and minde thy businesse CHAP. VII A Vsurer describ'de his going downe to Hell The Post to him a strange at scourse doth tell Hee teaches him the waye and doeth discouer What Riuers the departed Soules goe ouer HIs warrant beeing thus sign de the messenger departs but before hee could get to the vttermost Ferrie he met with an old leane meagre fellowe whose eyes was sunke so deepe into his head as if they had beene set in backward his haire was thinner then his cheekes and his cheekes so much worne away that when he spake his tongue smoak't and that was burn't blacke with his hore and valiant breath was seene to mooue too and fro so plainely that a wise man might haue taken it for the Snuffe of a caâ—dle in a Muscouie Lant-horne the Barber Surgions had beg'd the body of a man at a Sessions to make an Anatomie and that Anatomy this wretched creature begged of them to make him a body Charon had but newly landed him yet it seem'd he stood in pittyfull feare for his eyes were no bigger then pinnes heads with blubbring and howling keeping a coile to haue some body shew him the nearest way to hell which he doubted he had lost the other puts him into a pathe that would directlie bring him thither but before he bid him farewell our blacke knight inquired of him what hee was who answered that he was sometimes one that liued vpon the Lechery of mettals for hee could make one hundred pound be great with child and be deliuered with another in a very short time his mony like pigions laid euery month he had bin in vpright tearmes an Vsurer And vnderstanding that he fel into the haÌ„ds of the helâ— post he offered him after a penny a mile between that y e townes end hee was going too so he would be his guide Which mony when the watermen came to rifle him he swallowed downe and rakte for it afterwards because hee knewe not what neede hee should haue the waies being damnable But the goer of the diueâ—s errands told him if he would allow him Pursiuants sees he durst not earne them hee would doe him any Knights seruice but to play the good Angells part and guide him he must pardon him Doctor Diues request him in a whining accenâ— to tell him if there were any rich men in hell if by any base dâ—udgery which the diuell shall put him too which beele willingly moile in he shuld scrape-any muck togither whether he may set vp his trade in hel whither there be any brokers there that with picking strawes out of poore thatcht houses to build nestes where his twelue pences should ingenner might get fethers to his backe and their owne too To all which questions the vaut curier answers briefly that he shall meete a number there who once went in black veluet coats and welted gownes but of Brokers there 's a Longer lane in Heâ—l than there is in London Marry for opening shops and to keep a Bawdy house for Lady Pecunia Hoâ— sifata negant If the Bay liffe of Bâ—rathrum denye that priuiledge to those that haue serued twice seuen yeeres in the Freedome there 's no reason a Forrayner should taste the fauour This news tho it went coldly down yet as those that are troubled with the tooth-ache enquyre of others what the payne is that haue had them drawn out think by that means they lessen their owne So it is some ease to Syr Timothy thirtie per centuÌ„ to haâ—ken out the worst that others haue endured he desires therfore to know how far it is froÌ„ the earth to hell being told that hel is iust so many miles from Earth as earth is from Heauen he stands in a brown study wondring sithens the length of the iournies were both alike to him how it should happen that he tooke rather the one path then the other But then cursing himself that euer he fell in loue with mony and that which is contrary to nature hee euer made a cracke French Crowne beget an English-Angell he roar'de out swore that gold sure would dambe him For sayes hee my greedinesse to 〈◊〉 mine eye with that made me starue my belly and haue vndone those for sixe pence that were readie to starue And into such an Apoplexie of Soule fell I into with the lust of money that I had no sense of other happinesse So that whil'st in my Closet I sat numbring my bags the last houre of my life was told out before I could tel the first heap of gold birdlime is the sweat of the Oake tree the dung of the Blackbird falling on that tree turnes into that slimie snare and in that snare is the bird her selfe taken So fares it me mony is but the excrement of the earth in which couetous wretches like swine rooting continually eate thorowe the earth so long till at length they eate themselues into hell I see therefore that as Harts being the most cowardly and hartlesse creatures haue also the largest hornes So we that are drudges to heapes of drosse haue base leane consciences but the largest damnation There appeared to Timotheus an Athenian Demonijvmbra and that gaue him a net to catch Cities in yet for all that he died a begger Sure it was Vmbr ae daemonis that taught me the rule of Interest for in getting that I haue lost the principall my soule But I pray you tel me saies my setter vp of Scriueners Must I be stript thus out of all Shall my Fox-furd gownes be lockt vp from me Must I not haue so much as a shirt vpon me Heer 's worse pilling and polling then amongst my countrey men the Vsurers not a rag of linnen about me to hide my nakednesse No sayes the light Horse-man of Lymbo no linnen is worne heere because none can bee wouen strong enough to hold neither doe any such good 〈◊〉 come hither as to make cloath onely the Destinies are allowed to spinne but their yarne serues to make smockes for Prâ—serpina You are now as you must euer bee you shall neede no cloathes the aire is so extreame hot â—esides there be no Tailors sufferd to liue here because they as well as Players haue a hell of their owne vnder their shopboard there lye their tâ— tâ—ered soules patcht out with nothing but rags This Careere being ended our Lansquenight of Lowe-Germanie was readie to purspurres to his hoâ—â—â— and take leaue because he saw what disease hung vppon him and that his companion was hard at his heeles and was loth to proceede in his iourney But he Qui