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heaven_n earth_n new_a place_n 7,675 5 5.8515 4 true
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A54909 The history of the persecutions of the Protestants by the French king in the principality of Orange from the year 1660 to the year 1687 with a particular account of the author's fall through the violence of the persecution / written by Monsieur Pineton.; Larmes. English. Selections. 1689. Chambrun, Jacques Pineton de, 1637-1689. 1689 (1689) Wing P2265; ESTC R24057 71,622 78

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I repeated what David said in the 121 Psalm I will lift up my eyes unto hills from whence cometh my help My help cometh from the Lord which made heaven and earth The Feast of Easter being near the Bishop of Valence came to Die which is about a League from the place of my Banishment to Confess and Communicate the pretended new Converts I had reason to believe he would come and disquiet me and accordingly he did not fail there happen'd to be with me one Mr. Julian an Advocate of Die and a very honest man and one who hath glorifi'd God by his retiring I intreated him to hide himself behind my Bed that he might have the pleasure of hearing what I said to the Bishop He granted my request and quickly the Bishop accompanied with a great many Priests and some Officers of the Army come in For half a quarter of an hour our Discourse ran upon things indifferent but upon his coming up close to my Bed-side all the other people withdrew and putting his head very near mine he askt me if I would not think of signing the Writing which he had shew'd me and of doing what a good Christian ought to do I answer'd him that for the Writing I could not sign it and to live as a good Christian I should endeavour all the days of my Life He press'd me extreamly But at last I told him for a full answer that I would beg him never more to urge me and conjur'd him to order the Curate of the place not to require me to exercise any Act of the Romish Religion since that being recovered from the distraction of my Mind I was in a condition to speak of my Life He appear'd not much troubl'd at this Discourse he only said Well you 'l think on 't and so left me with great Civility The Advocate came out of his secret place and falling upon my Neck embrac'd me with abundance of Tenderness and Tears telling me that my Discourse had extreamly edifi'd him that he must leave me to go to Die where the Bishop would not fail to report that I had promis'd him every thing which accordingly happen'd For this Bishop was no sooner at Die than in the presence of a great many People he said That he came from me that I was a very honest man that he was pleas'd with my Conversation and that I had promis'd to Confess and to Communicate The Advocate who was there present while the Bishop said this whisper'd in the Ears of some of his Friends This is not true I am witness of it and afterwards unfolded the whole Mystery assuring them that the Bishop said all this only to seduce them The continual troubles of my mind quickly threw me back into the condition I was in at Valence I was seiz'd by a violent Feaver which distracted me yet I was quickly well without using the least Medicine but though my Body was eas'd yet my Mind was so tormented with sad Thoughts which continually prepresented themselves to me that I knew not where I was It seem'd as if God himself had imprinted my Sin on my Heart to make me the more sensible of its horrible foulness and to the end that I might run to him by Prayers Sighs and Tears I must confess that I was forsaken of all Comfort for I was able oftner than once to say with Job c. 3. v. 3 4. Let the day perish wherein I was born and the night in which it was said there is a man-Child conceiv'd Let that day be darkness Let not God regard it from above neither let the light shine upon it To this I added what follows in the same Chapter which here I care not to write To call in the Consolations of my God I often repeated these words in the 77th Psal v. 7. 8. Is his mercy clean gone from us and is his promise come utterly to an end for evermore Hath God forgotten to be gracious and will he shut up his loving kindness in displeasure Alas how often did I say Have mercy upon me O God after thy great goodness according to the multitude of thy mercies do away mine offences Cast me not away from thy presence and take not thy holy spirit from me O give the comfort of thy help again and establish me with thy free spirit Psal 51. v. 1 11 12. I endeavour'd to moderate my grief by considering the difference which St. Cyprian made of those who were faln I knew the Ancients distinguish'd between those which were call'd Sacrificati that is to say those who had sacrificed to Idols and Thurificati those who had presented Incense and Libellatici those who gave Money to the Judge that they might not go into the Temple of the Idols and who afterwards had a certain work to deliver themselves from the Persecution by cunning shift I very well saw that I was of this last sort but yet this did not satisfie me because I had not the courage to suffer Persecution for the sake of my Saviour which by the by I desire may be an admonition to those who have escap'd it by any Art whatever to look upon themselves as great Sinners Many may say that they have not sign'd any Abjuration but I desire them to ask their Consciences whether they have done no Action by which they have deny'd their Religion I consider'd with my self the Fall of many great men who yet afterwards glorified God by their Repentance St. Peter was the first who presented himself to my Imagination but I found my Infidelity far greater than his I forgot not the great Hosius who presided at the Council of Nice the love of his Sepulchre as St. Hillary elegantly calls it meaning his Body grown weak through his great Age made him sign the detestable Heresie of Arius But said I Hosius because of his Age was in a kind of dotage but thou was in the vigour of thy Mind Liberius came next to my Thoughts but I perceiv'd it was only the uneasiness of Banishment that made him fall And that the fears of Death made Berengarius as well as Jerome of Prague recant as also the great Cranmer Archbishop of Canterbury Although there was no comparison betwixt these great men and me but inregard of my fault yet I could not forbear making a parallel of their conduct with mine for at last said I to my self all these great Lights regain'd their former brightness after they had been sometime obscur'd But miserable that thou art can thou expect that God should raise thee seeing thou hast so basely forsaken him In the exercise of such thoughts as these did I pass the greatest part of the time of my Banishment they were interrupted by the Curate of the place who came to me about Whitsontide to exhort me by Order of Monsieur De Valence to Communicate He told me Easter was past and that it was his Duty to make me this Exhortation to the end I might do mine He was