Affections that should continue Mutual Love Good Lord let that dear Chid she hath left behind her cement and joyn our Hearts in joynt Thankfulness unto thee and unite us one to another Lord give them thy choice Favours in Jesus Christ pardon of Sin with the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and order and dispose for the best whatever may concern them and theirs as to a happy tendency to their well-being in this World and attaining of thy self in endless Glory I beseech thee be very gracious unto him whom thou hadst united so nearly to her in a sweet Conjugal Relation Lord I have sinned and he also suffered Good Lord let all Grace abound to him in all concerns in this Life and for a better and let her gain be his great Advantage joyning his Heart more closely to thy self Good Lord bless that single Posterity of his and ours left of her who was his dear Wife and our dearly Beloved Child I beseech thee be his God in Covenant with him and Lord give him the Efficacy of his Baptism that he may be thine by Grace and Adoption I beseech thee take full and early Possession of his Heart Good Lord keep out the Vanities and Follies of Childhood and Youth that while he is Young he may be a Beloved Disciple of Jesus Christ If thou seest it good to continue him in this Life I beseech thee grant that he may in his dear Mothers room Honour God in this World with an exemplary holy Life a choice Instrument of thy Glory Good Lord charge thy Providence with him in the whole course of his Life and make up all Relations to him in thy self Graciously support him in and through this World Good Lord preserve him from the Soul-ruining Evils of it and when thou wilt take him hence I beseech thee receive him to thy self in thy Everlasting Kingdom in the full Fruition of God in Glory Lord though thou was pleased to clip off so great a piece of the Comfort of my Life in this World denying my Vehement Desires and Requests with the many Prayers of thy People and our Christian Friends for the longer stay of our Dear Child with us in this World yet thou art not the less a God hearing Prayer but hast heard and granted to an higher End not here on Earth with us but in Heaven with thee received in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies to which Blessed Estate I beseech thee bring me and those Relatives very dear to me Good Lord sanctifie to us this Chastening Hand and though thou cuttest off the Streams my Comforts of this Life let not my Soul be as a parched Heath that receives no good but draw me to thy self the Fountain of durable Mercies give me those Living Waters from the Wells of thy Salvation the Light of thy Countenance with thy reconciled Face and Favour those Rivers that make glad the City of God Good Lord vouchsafe me the sweet refreshing gales and incomes of thy Spirit and with thy Grace conduct me off these ruff Seas of Sins and Sorrows to my desired Haven and Port in those Eternal Mansions of Glory where all in thee shall meet with full Enjoyments of God and one another with sweet acclamations of Thankfulness and Praises to thee our God for Ever for Ever Amen Amen Amen I have transcribed this long Paragraph without altering or changing the order of a Word if some may account it tedious who either have not been exercised with such Tryals or have other shorter and cheaper ways to relieve themselves against them let them use their own Methods without censuring or despising hers This was her Heart's Ease when she was overwhelmed pouring out her Complaints to God in secret was her best Anodine but I hope it will need no Apology with most and if it doth with any I 'll not run the risque of losing my Labour by attempting it where the Success is so doubtfull and unpromising I shall venture to enlarge this Section a little farther for three Reasons First To shew the ardour of her Zeal for the Spiritual good of this Child so exceeding dear to her which may be an Instructive Example to some Mothers or Grand-mothers to stir up the like towards their Descendants as nearly Related to them as this Child to her Secondly Because I foresee I shall not in the Body of this Book have much farther occasion to trouble the Reader with any long transcripts out of her Writings what remains being designed for the Appendix which will be entirely her own Lastly To imprint upon the Child due Sentiments of Gratitude to God and her I meet with many Expressions of most Pathetick Tenderness towards this dear Child who now next to my self was the Center in which all the lines of her strong Affections terminated July 14. 1679. Our dear sweet Child went to Coggshall to his Father's House the Lord preserve him from all Evil and Bless him and comfortably restore him to us again About a quarter of a Year after he returned well to us again Blessed be God for it We went four Miles from Home to visit a Friend our dear Child was preserved in an apparent Danger The hinder Wheel of the Coach was very like to have borne him down and gone over him as he was going into the Coach the Horses being disturbed by a strange Horse went away but through God's preventing Goodness I had a quick apprehension of the danger I suddenly pulled him away Blessed be our good God for this Deliverance of our dear Child he had no harm the Wheel durtied his Hat and Coat good Lord help me to live thy Praises who art the God of our Mercies Some may say these are small Matters but I say they are no small Evidences of a very thankfull sense of God's Mercies and will leave them inexcusable who are not thankfull for greater In the Year 1682. God was pleased to put me in fear of the speedy dissolution of our dearly beloved Grand-child He was in a languishing consumptive condition with other symptoms of the Disease His Breath was very short had lost his Appetite he looked very Pale was very Lean which imprest on my Thoughts that God would take him from me To his Righteous Will I laboured to submit but God was pleased to reverse the Sentence with a Blessing on means used the Prescriptions of Dr. H. whom we sent for from London to him and with my own great Care of him he recovered Strength to God's Blessing I ascribe the Praise who did not cast out my Petition Good Lord let this pledge of thy compassionating Mercy to me strengthen my Faith in the grant of my more Earnest Request that I may assure my self agreeable to thy Will of his Sanctification I beseech thee season his tender Mind with the savoury Knowledge of thy Blessed self Lord I do not ask of thee the Excesses and great things of this World not Earth but Heaven thy Blessed self I beseech thee put
unwritten Paper which remains may seem to imply she designed more This is just the fortyeth part of what she had written for her Childrens use being 6 Pages in her Book of Twelve score so that I have enough if I would enlarge to tire my self and satisfie not to say clog my Readers But I will consult my own ease and theirs in adding little more of what an account is given Sect. 12. under Eleven or Twelve distinct Heads I confess I am tempted to add the Example to the Rule I mean the large Form of Prayer and Thanksgiving each containing 16 Pages But I 'll forbear only as I toucht a few Lines of the beginning and end of the Thanksgiving before So I shall give a little taste of this Prayer which she begins thus Good Lord give me to know thee who passest all Knowledge and though I cannot comprehend thee in the perfection and fullness of thy Glory yet vouchsafe to give me to apprehend thee in thy Love and pardoning Mercy to me a poor miserable Sinner who in my first Being was invested with an happy and righteous Estate from which O Lord in my first Original I soon declined c. And so proceeds most humbly to acknowledge the guilt and pollution of Original Sin as I think yea know most Orthodoxly If our Bibles our Articles our Homilies yea our Liturgy be more Orthodox than Socinus and those Ephramites who lisp his Sibboleth because they cannot or will not pronounce aright the Shibboleth of the Church of England's good old Doctrine Then she proceeds to a large Confession of actual Sin both of Omission and Commission against both Tables Acknowledging the demerit of them proceeds to sue out the Pardon of them in these words O God thou knowest my foolishness and my Sins are not hid from thee I beseech thee pardon my Iniquities and blot out my Transgressions though they be as a thick Cloud Good Lord wash me from my Impurities in that Fountain set open for Sin and for Vncleanness the precious Blood of Jesus Christ which is not only able to expiate my guilt but to cleanse me from all my filthiness that through his stripes I may be healed and cleansed from all my Original and Actual Defilements c. Having enlarged upon this she proceeds to pay for Sanctification and Inherent Righteousness that she may be a new Creature in Christ Jesus then most fully and earnestly against Temptation then for the Assistance of the Spirit to render all God's Ordinances and the means of Grace effectual then for growth in Grace for Comfort for an Heavenly frame of Heart and Life for assurance and manifestation of God's Love to her then for Wisdom to consider her latter End and to be helped in that Spiritual Arithmetick so to number her Days as to apply her Heart to true Wisdom then that God would fit and prepare her for her Dissolution that when her days shall be consummated on Earth her Corruptible may put on Incorruption and her Mortal put on Immortality Then she concludes with these Words Then shall Death my last Enemy be vanquished and swallowed up in Victory and from thy unworthy Creature Everlasting Praises shall be rendred unto thee through Jesus Christ that giveth me the Victory for thou hast redeemed my Soul from the Power of the Grave I beseech thee receive me into thy Eternal Kingdom and Glory that neither Death nor Life things present nor things to come may be able to separate me from thy Love O God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. Then she proceeds to Pray for the Church of which a taste was given in her Monday-morning Prayers Sect. 7. pag. 45. Gracious Lord the Mercies I ask of thee for my own Soul I earnestly beg of thee for thy Church and People Blessed Lord Thou hast made the Earth by thy Power established the World by thy Wisdom and stretched out the Heavens by thy Discretion thy Arm is not shortned that thou canst not Save Good Lord take care of Zion build up the Walls of Jerusalem that in Zion there may be Deliverance and Holiness in thy House let the Mountain of thy House be established in the top of the Mountains be thou a Wall of Fire round about and her Glory in the midst thereof But I forgot my self 't is hard to stop my Pen. Then I beseech thee especially for the Land of my Nativity the Nation of which I am a sinfull Member here is a large Paragraph The next is for the World Give thy Gospel a free and glorious Passage through the World Good Lord pity those that sit in the region and shaddow of Death Then I beseech thee be mercifull to all the Sons and Daughters of Sorrow and Affliction the Disconsolate the Sick those who contend with Poverty Imprisonment Reproach Disgrace Then for them who suffer Persecution for the Truth Then for her Relations I confess I am almost ashamed that I have thus mangled so excellent a Prayer so Piously so Judiciously in such suitable Scripture Phrase and Language I think it had been better to have transcribed the whole or let it quite alone but her Friends may command a Copy of it if they please Having finished her Intercessions for others she returns to conclude with renewed Petitions for herself which I will venture to set down Good Lord be the God and Portion of me thy unworthy Creature and of those so dear unto me give me a Relation to thee an Affiance in thee and a Dependance upon thee that in all my concerns I may come to thee in whom are all my fresh Springs the riches of free Grace to poor Sinners and treasuries of Mercies purchased with the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ I beseech thee with-hold not thy tender Mercies from me but give me of that hidden Manna the sweet refreshing Incomes of thy Holy Spirit into my Soul and when my Heart is overwhelmed I beseech thee lead me to the Rock that is higher than I for thou hast been a shelter to me Lord be thou a strong Tower to me to which I may continually resort for whom have I in Heaven but thee And if I know any thing of my own Heart there is none comparative on Earth that I desire besides thee thou art my God besides thee there is no Saviour I beseech thee guide me with thy Counsel and when I shall go hence and be no more in this World I beseech thee receive me into thy Glory Then follows the Thanksgiving full as large as the Form of Prayer and if it may be more Spiritual raised and Divinely Savoury but I will not repeat the Errour to mangle it and set down so Imperfect Pieces and spoil its Beauty but signifie to her Friends that I shall freely allow them to read the Original which is fairly legible or if they think it worth the while to Copy it out or at more leisure to Print some few Copies of it and others of her usefull
Defence God is called a Refuge a hiding-place a strong Tower but for whom the Righteous they run unto it and are safe great Peace have they that love God's Law and nothing shall offend them the direction of God's Word will not only be your safety in troublesome times but your Counsellor also in common Calamities and you may as Luther used read the 46 Psalm and bid your Enemies doe their worst if God give them leave to kill the Body it is the most they can doe no more if you are not on Earth you may be in Heaven be not affraid of a Man that shall dye but take our Saviour's Counsel fear him that can cast Soul and Body into Hell seek Righteousness it may be you shall be hid in the Day of the Lord 's fierce Anger which we have cause to fear is hastning to this sinfull Nation God's Law writ on your Heart and Life may be as the Scarlet Thread that was bound in the Window of Rahab's House which preserved her from Destruction or as the Blood of the Paschal Lamb which marked the Houses of the Children of Israel that the destroying Angel touched not their Dwellings with any of the Plagues of Egypt however for your greatest safety take heed and avoid any indirect or unlawfull means to obtain or preserve a Momentary Life which is as uncertain as short and so provoke God to lead you forth with the workers of Iniquity and so your Redemption may cease for ever and then a great Ransome cannot recover you therefore at any rate purchase the Truth and fell it not to which choice the Lord grant you Wisdom and Preserve you both by his Grace under his Protection unto his Heavenly Kingdom giving you the Blessings of this Life also and prepare you both for that good Life to come that when this shall be no more he may receive you with that happy Saying Well done and reward you with Eternal Glory I am sensible of the length of my Letter but hope it will not be tedious to you something more I would say though of a much less Concern but as a true Friend I would not omit any thing that might render me so but would caution you with better Arguments than mine you may have from undeniable Wisdom which is not to be despised and warn you of what some have smarted for being Sureties for other Men. I would sooner pay a Debt than be bound for any See Prov. 6.1 2. Also Chap. 11.15 the same Author tells you That he that hateth Suretyship is sure on these Considerations I request you you will not be in Bonds to any but to me by Promise that you will never be bound for any Man In all I have requested of you if you have not from your self or some other Friend better Advice let this Letter be my Substitute review it sometimes and afford it a kind Reception of Friendship from me who am your well-wishing Friend ready in any Kindness to express my self Your truly Loving Aunt Elizabeth Walker 1685. A Letter of prudent pious Counsels written to her dear Grand-child then at Felsted-School about two Months before she Dyed which I publish to preserve it for his use and because I hope it may be also usefull to some other Youths of the like Age and Quality This was the last large Letter she ever wrote Dear Johnny I Have some time since received a Letter from Mrs. Bribrist much to my Satisfaction and I hope is thy due Commendation she hath been pleased to give me of thee do not forfeit the same by neglect to perform in thy commendable good Behaviour as hitherto but always render suitable to any good thoughts of thee from herself or others and as helps thereto be guided by the advice and counsel of thy Friends Never forget thy Dear Grandfather's oft Counsels when thou wast at home and since in several good Letters with them make good use of this also Dear Johnny I would not be wanting to thee as far as I am able to express I advise in these following Counsels Be modest humble and obedient to thy Governours and Superiours in that Place be always advised by them that are able and wish thee well it is better more ease and safety to be governed than to govern Lean not to thine own Vnderstanding The Wise Man saith Seest thou a Man Wise in his own Eyes there is more hope of a Fool than of him Dear Johnny Thou art not destitute of good Friends where thou art ready to shew thee Kindness thy Master Glascock of whom be very respective and observant performing all Exercises he gives thee as may be Praise-worthy also Mrs. Woodroof Mrs. Boteler they are thine and our kind Friends I do not exclude Mrs. Robarts Dear Johnny Let none have cause with shame for or of thee to retract their Commendations of thee make the Word of God the Rule of thy Life let it be thy chief Counsellor let thy Reputation have a good Bottom an honest Heart free from guile and hypocrisie being founded on the Scriptures fixed on the the Rock of Ages Christ Jesus that by the winds of Worldly Prosperity Honour or Applause it may never overturn neither by Adversity Affliction or any trouble thou mayest fall into Dear Johnny All things but God are mutable and full of change there is the day of Adversity as well as Prosperity God hath set the one over against the other make sure thy best and unalterable Estate in which will be no change nor alteration but happy once and for ever to that higher End make thy Learning and all other things subservient Improve all opportunities for thy well-being in this World but most for thy Spiritual best Advantage give all dilligence attend at Wisdom's Posts Wisdom is the principal thing its Price is far above Rubies fine Gold cannot equal it nothing can be compared to it search for it as for hid Treasure in the holy Scriptures there thou mayest find the Pearl of so great Price that the World cannot purchase it and it is worth the selling all to have it Let not this Price be put into thy Hand and thou have no Heart to it but let it be said of thee as St. Paul said of Timothy That from a Child he had known the Holy Scriptures they will make thee Wise unto Salvation and will help thee in all Relative Duties in well discharging of which consists much of the Power and Honour of Religion Mind the Precepts let them be the guide of all thy Thoughts and Words and Actions doe all God's Commandments in keeping of them there is great Reward Take notice of all the Threatnings that thou mayest avoid the evil of Sin and the Punishment due to the Commission of it Heed the Promises they are full of the Love of God in Christ let them constrain thee to a circumspect watchfull holy Life in performing the conditions of them Dear Johnny get God's Just and Righteous Law
other Blessed be my gracious God for his great Kindness to me in them both After Three Years continuance in that Family upon the Death of Dr. Read my Lord presented my Dear to Fyfield in Essex a competent good Living and Subsistence blessed be God for it Good Lord crown his Ministry there with the Success of the Conversion and Bringing in their Souls to the Obedience and Knowledge of Jesus Christ Give him abundance of the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and store his Heart with the Treasuries of thy heavenly Truths and continue my Dear Husband a faithfull painfull able Labourer in thy Vineyard If what I have thus far touch'd may savour of any Vanity the modesty of what I have past over may excuse the Errour at least to them who may see the Original Manuscript Now to return to her of whom I write she proceeds I was Born at London in Bucklersbury on Thursday the 12th of July in the Year of our Lord 1623 and Baptized the 20th Day of the same Month. The Lord vouchsafing me a reception into the visible Church of Jesus Christ when he most justly might have suffered no Eye to pity me but have cast me out to the loathing of my Person in my original Defilement and Stains of my sinfull Nature But to my first admittance good Lord enable me to ascend that being a Member of thy Church militant here on Earth I may attain to be one of thy Church triumphant in Heaven My Dear Father was Mr. John Sadler a very Eminent Citizen and of a most generous loving and charitable Disposition and a most tender Father to me and a kind Father-in-Law to my Husband He was born at Stratford upon Avon in Warwickshire where his Ancestors lived My Grandfather had a good Estate in and about the Town He was of a free and noble Spirit which somewhat out-reach'd his Estate but not given to any Debauchery I ever heard of My Father's Mother was a very wise pious and a good Woman and lived and died a good Christian My Father had no Brother but three Sisters who were all eminently Wise and good Women especially his youngest Sister who married my Father's Partner in Trade a religious good Man In process of time my Father was desired to change his single estate accordingly a Match was provided for him but he by God's Providence approved not of it His Father then provided him good Clothes good Horse and Money in his Purse and sent him to make his Addresses to a Gentlewoman in that Country But he considering well how difficult a married Condition was like to prove his Father having reduced his Estate from about 400 l. a Year to 80. His own Prudence but especially God's good Providence over-ruling his mind instead of going a Wooing he join'd himself to the Carrier and came to London where he had never been before and sold his Horse in Smithfield and having no Acquaintance in London to recommend him or assist him he went from Street to Street and House to House asking if they wanted an Apprentice and though he met with many discouraging Scorns and a thousand denials he went on till he light on Mr. Brokes bank a Grocer in Bucklersbury who though he long denied him for want of Sureties for his Fidelity and because the Money he had but Ten Pounds was so disproportionable to what he used to receive with Apprentices yet upon his discreet account he gave of himself and the Motives which put him upon that Course and promise to compensate with diligent and faithfull Service what ever else was short of his Expectation he ventured to receive him upon Trial in which he so well approved himself that he accepted him into his Service to which he bound him for Eight Years to which he willingly submitted though he was then full Twenty-one Years old and there he served a faithfull and laborious Apprenticeship but much liked of his Master and Mistress And after served him Five Years Journey-man they not being willing to part with him In which time he had his Master's leave to Trade for himself in Drugs and Tabacco by which he left Grocery and was by Trade a Druggist in London And by that Profession God bless'd my dear Father with a very plentifull and good Estate with which God gave him a bountifull Mind and liberal Heart to doe much good to his Relations and others My Dear Mother Mrs. Elizabeth Sadler was the Daughter of Mr. Dackum sometimes Minister of Portsmouth Also my Grandmother Dackum was a very wise and prudent Woman In my Infancy I was very sickly and of a weakly Constitution Blessed be God for the Love and Care of Parents and Friends in my Childhood Estate She was her Parents first Born after Five Years Marriage and despair of having Children which rendred them exceeding tender of her and yet was she well nigh starved at Nurse at Lusam in Kent For though her Parents sent so bountifully besides the Nurses Wages as might near maintain the Family yet have they found the Meat they sent ready to stink for want of dressing In my fuller Age I was of a pensive Nature God saw it good that I should bear the yoak in my Youth but I did not consider the hand that put it on When I was Young the Lord was pleased to deliver me from many Casualties After naming them she always concludes with Praises Blessed be his preventing Mercy Blessed be God that preserved me in that danger And such like If St. Augustin's confessing of his robbing an Orchard be so much approved why may not I touch so small a thing as I meet with here which shews the tenderness of her Spirit When I was a Child my Mother would send me where she less trusted my Sisters In what I might fail I cannot call to mind but I remember she sent me where she kept her Apples they suited my childish Appetite I took one I could not keep it but thought I had stole it I went back unlock'd the Door but with some regret laid down the Apple Blessed be restraining Grace But I must pass over a great many things for brevity which might be usefull unto others and are very pleasant to my self in reading for the savory sense of pious Gratitude which all along breaths in them yet I will not hide the greatest fault I ever knew her guilty of in my own observation or find her charge her self with either in her Book or Diary Having written many things which I pass by and last concerning the burning of her Father's House she thus proceeds About half a year after the Fire which was when she was about Thirteen or Fourteen years old my Father had a great fit of sickness which held him a quarter of a year and in great danger of Death In which time of his sickness I poor wretched Creature through a sudden surprise and provocation spoke a wicked word to a superior of which my Father was informed and most
him not off with any thing less than thy self No Lord I beg thou wilt with-hold the grandeur of this Life from him farther than thou wilt give him an Heart to lay it out to the best advantage of thy Glory on Earth the procuring a better Estate in Heaven those Everlasting Mansions where are durable Riches an Eternal weight of Glory purchased with the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ which good Lord grant unto him Amen Amen Amen June 19. 1688. My dear Grand-Child escaped by God's gracious Providence a very terrible Danger of being Wounded or sudden Death which danger she describes had not God's watchfull Compassion interposed I cannot express the terrible Consequence which might have happened I am not able to recount thy multiplied Mercies in delivering us from present Dangers and many we know not of For this and all good Lord accept as I would render them from a Heart sensible of thy Mercies my most gratefull Acknowledgments and in consideration of this I beseech thee make deep Impressions on the Heart of my poor Child and us his Parents concerned for him that he and we may live thy Praises Amen Amen I will satisfie my self with the Perusal of the rest and not trouble the Reader by transcribing more though all improved to Holy Purposes and the Reflections made with such warm Expressions as I conceive might be very apt to kindle the Flames of Devoutest Thankfulness in those who read them no words being more likely to affect the Hearts of others than those which so evidently proceed from the Hearts of those who Speak or Write them and feel what they utter according to the Advice good Bishop Felton used to give his Chaplains of which the Excellent Bishop Brownwrig was sometime one to steep their Sermons in their Hearts before they Preached them SECT XXIII Acts and Kinds of her great Charity THough the Title-page gives this Section a Right and Claim to one moiety of the whole I write concerning her yet I would have it interpreted with some grains of Allowance for alass how could any thing she gave be called her Charity who was a Wife or how could it be called great when all we both possessed had the whole been given could not in rigour bear that Epithete I will therefore account for both in a few words First therefore though a Wife she had a freedom of my little All where I was Cajus she was truly Caia according to the old Roman Phrase she had free access to whatever I was Master of so abundantly was I satisfied in her Integrity and Prudence and to touch so small a thing as a Testimony of her wise Care and our mutual Confidence to avoid the clog of many Keys she contrived to have five Locks open with one Key and had two made one for each of us that upon no occasion of the others Absence either of us might be shut out from what was kept under them and so for a few other Locks she provided double Keys one of which she kept the other hung up in my Study Now when any object of Charity offered it self she would serve the occasion as she also did for her own Expence out of my Store but would after always tell me to a Penny what she took which I have times without number not only excused her from but almost chid her for but she would not be perswaded to mend that Fault so tender was she Whereupon I told her I would ease us both of that needless and uneasie Trouble by allowing her a fixed certain Sum that she might have no shaddow of a Scruple left in using of it as she pleased I may indeed be ashamed to name it and it had been a niggardly and indecent Proportion had I had more than one competent Living but being as it was she would have no more only said merrily My Friend this shall not debarr me of my former Freedom which on my part it never did though on her part never was made use of The Summ was the rents of a small Farm of Nineteen Pound a Year which was always called hers and I used to call her my Landlady chearfully when I duly paid her Nine Pound ten Shillings on the half-years day and some little Perquisites about the Yard more than were spent in the Family which were also her Propriety and which might together amount to about Twenty two or Twenty three Pound a Year in the whole Out of which she cloathed herself very decently and many Poor very warmly and did much other good as I shall convinsingly evidence in what follows So true is the Saying Nullum numen doest si sit Prudentia Wise Contrivance will supply all other Defects And as an observing Gentlewoman said She never knew any had the Art so perfectly as Mrs. Walker of making a little shew a great deal or going a great way This small Pittance being absolutely her own her scrupulous Tenderness was freed from giving me account what she did with it and I from the irksome trouble of receiving it and what she spared out of it was properly her own Charity Now though to give more than her whole Allowance would be a lean and starvling Charity from those who have more than they know well what to do with yet our gracious Lord the most unexceptionable Judge of these Matters tells us the poor Widdow's two Mites was more than the bulky Summs which the Rich cast into the Treasuries of God out of their Abundance who rather squander their Superfluities than retrench from their Necessities to help the wants of the Indigent though I wish there were not too few even of such Squanderers And the Holy Apostle tells us If there be a willing Mind it is accepted according to what a Man hath and not according to what he hath not 2 Cor. 8.12 And I bear her Record that to her Power yea beyond her Power she was always willing and ready to communicate to the Wants of others for how strait soever her Ability might be she was not straitned in her own Bowels And though what she did from her own allowance was in strictest Sence her Charity only yet this only was not all her Charity for she having a joint Interest in what was mine she was sharer with me in the disposing or retaining of it and I can with Truth and Comfort testifie she never disswaded me from giving often encouraged me to give and would say to me on such occasions My Dear I think none of our Estate laid out so well as what is laid out so nor any part kept so safe as what is deposited in God's Hand and committed to his keeping But this is not all she would be over-ballanced against her own Inclination if there were Charity in the case She was not more averse from any thing than the enlarging our Family loved to have it as small as might be that it might be still and private free from disturbing Noise and distracting Diversions
but my Dear Wife's Pains and Trouble I told her we had now continued this Custom a great while and that I thought it too burthensome to her a Dinner signified not much to the Rich and for the Poor I would take Care they should be no losers She at present seem'd well pleased with what I said and acquiesced in it But upon second Thoughts she said My Dear I thank thee for thy Tenderness to me to prevent my Trouble but I am rather willing to undergo it were it greater than to discontinue a Practice so long used constantly and thereby occasion any mis-interpretation as if it proceeded from Parsimony or abatement of Kindness therefore I intreat thee let us continue to doe as we have hitherto done Yearly only let us try to have all in two Days we used to have in three and if our House will not contain them all at twice to some of the poorest I will send double as much as they could have eaten here And so it was agreed and performed and so her last Christmass was as kind and Charitable as those of former Years SECT XXII Of the Marriage of our onely Daughter and her Death in Childbirth the same Year yet leaving a Son IT is not to be wondred at that she should write so many Pages of this Come-Tragedy as I called another Providence mentioned before a Trage-Comedy whose Pious Kindness was so mindful in Holy Prayers and Praises not of her self alone but of her Honoured Friends I shall touch but one or two for Instance and I cannot single out any more suitable than of those Right Honourable Ladies whose sweet Condescension not only vouchsafed to give this our Dear Daughter frequently their kindest and familiar Conversation but borrowed and desired hers almost whole Summers divers Years Concerning these young Ladies thus her Pen speaks The Lady Ann the Lady Mary and the Lady Essex Rich had a Pious Education under â—he tender Care of the Right Honourable the Countess of Warwick their Aunt whose great Care of them and Kindness and Love to them supplied and over-shot the measures of what could be expressed to them by the tenderest Mother Of two of their Marriages she writes thus December the 11th 1673. The Vertuous and Right Honourable the Lady Mary Rich was Married to Mr. Henry St. John the Eldest Son of Sir Walter St. John a Pious good Family and an ancient Barronet and great Estate Blessed Lord thou hast abundantly enriched them with the Blessings of the Nether Springs full streams in the good things of this Life let it not be their all but turn these Waters into Wine give them the Blessings of the Vpper Springs the plentifull Effusions of thy Spirit flowing into their Hearts and Souls that they may build up each other in their most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life June 16. 1674. The Honourable Lady Essex Rich was Married to Mr. Daniel Finch Eldest Son to his Father then Lord Keeper of the Great Seal of England Good Lord give them the Blessings of thy Right-hand and continue to them the Blessings of thy Left-hand also But let not their Portion be only in this Life let thine own Prerogative have the Supremacy in their Hearts and accelerate and quicken them to thy Service that Glorifying thee on Earth they may be in Everlasting Glory with thee in Heaven Amen Amen I will mention no more like Instances and humbly beg Pardon if I have been too bold in touching these I now come to the Title of this Section and shall add nothing of my own only transcribe and that with Abbreviation what her Pious Pen hath left me not that one Word need to be retrenched upon other accounts but only to avoid Prolixity January 17. 1675. My Dear Husband and my Dear Child Margaret Walker went to London in reference to our great Concern her Marriage our onely one so dear to us She was Married February the 1st 1675. to Mr. John Cox Barrister of Grays-Inn His Father lived at Coggshall his Relations very honest good People and very well to live in the World God hath graciously provided for her a loving Husband a sober Person and I hope a good Man God consummated their Choice by Mr. Gifford a worthy good Man Minister of St. Dunstan's in the East in London whither she was accompanied by the Right Honourable the Countess of Warwick with the chief of the Family from Warwick-House and with many other manifestations of Kindness God shined upon her and in all respects gave her a comfortable Day I draw the Curtain of a modest c. over the rest lest the Thankfulness of her who was so truly humble should incurr the unkind censure or suspicion of Vanity and concluding what I have omitted with these Words And with many other Favours God hath honoured them She proceeds Lord I desire to own thy Goodness as the Fountain Head from whence flows all Good to be enjoyed in the things of this Life and concerns of a better and more endurable Estate for their Souls advantage For which I beseech thee give them a capacious Heart to know love serve and enjoy thy self and vouchsafe them of the good things of this World what thou seest convenient for them and help them to be contented to be without what in mercy thou deniest them Good Lord keep both them and theirs inoffensive in this World and when they shall go hence and be no more in this Life Lord grant that where thou art they may be also in Eternal Glory Amen Amen Thus far the pleasant and more lightsome part Now follows what 's more dark and dolefull I have now a very smarty afflictive Dispensation from God to record very pressing by his afflictive Hand on us I acknowledge very deservedly for my Sins the Lord hath taken from us out of this Life our onely One the most dearly Beloved Daughter and Child of my choice Aâ—fections Mrs. Margaret Cox she was mâ—â—ried February the first 1675. The 19th 〈◊〉 November following she was Delivered of a Son Lord's Day seven a Clock in the Morning She continued pretty well two or three Days Tuesday following sickned of a Fever and dyed December the 5th 1675. But God in the midst of his just Judgments remembred his Mercy to us hath spared the little one to us Blessed be God for it and received the Motherless Babe into Covenant with himself by Baptism I Bless God he is the Son of good Parents his Father a very sober and a good Man his dear deceased Mother was a fine lovely handsome well accomplished Woman both in Nature and Grace to God's Praise I do make my Acknowledgments let it have no other Censure She was of a quick Apprehension modest humble discreet and of a good Judgment and well fitted for Family-Government and Imployment She had a sweet amicable Deportment and gracefull Behaviour these Endowments through God's Kindness to her rendred her very desirable to all that knew
her God was pleased to give her much Honour and Esteem in this World with which she retained a lowly Mind with much sweet obliging Kindness to all acquainted with her She was very Friendly to the meaner sort very kind and charitable to poor People to whom she had a very compassionate Heart and bountifull Hand in relieving of them which she did with great Privacy though God hath been pleased since her Death to make it known by them in their Acknowledgments and bewailing their loss of her I bless God she lived very desirable and dyed much lamented she was a very loving dutifull Child to her Parents a very endearing Wife to her Husband and very sweet in all her Relations she was very acceptable to all her Husband's Kindred by whom the loss of her was much bewailed God was pleased to make her married condition very Satisfactory to herself and all concerned and though God was pleased to conclude it in so short a time taking her out of this Life scarce eleven Months from her Marriage which was accompanied with great Joy and Kindness of Friends yet God filled it with the close crouded manifestations of his Love and Favour to her yea her whole Life from her Cradle to her Grave to which she went with much Decency and Honour and which is much more valuable unblemished free from the gross defilements of this World The Lord was pleased to fit her for himself by a tender crazy Constitution of Body she was much afflicted with Head-Ach and other Illness which she bore with much quietness and submission under God's Hand by which he led her to the consideration of a better Life About four Years of Age on days of Prayer and Fasting she would sit by me the whole Day and at Prayer hold up her little Hands which in her riper Age with continuance from her Childhood she performed more understandingly She was constant in Religious Duties conversant in God's Word the Holy Bible which whilst she was a Child she oft read through and got much Scripture by Heart Also read many good Authors several good Books her Dear Father or my self commended to her which Practice she did not decline neither before nor since her Marriage She constantly at least twice a Day made her Addresses to the Throne of Grace in Prayer When she was very young she would give an account of a Sermon and repeat most of the Particulars or Heads of it and as she was religiously habituated from her Childhood I do humbly hope God confirmed her by his Grace to Perseverance in the Ways of God She would excite others not only in her own Practice but by her Counsels as to their Souls Concerns Amongst other her good Advices as her Dear Husband since her Death hath informed me she said to him ' That she did not question but he Prayed alone before he had her and said so did she and desired him to continue the same that one Prayer might not be lost by their Joint-Prayer which they used once a day going together alone to seek God besides publick and Family-Worship They oft said that nothing should more oblige them to each other than their mutual Love to each others Souls in their helping one another in their way to Heaven I bless God for his signal kindness to her in him so near and dear to her not only making them one Flesh but one Soul and both one Spirit in himself In the time of her Travail and following Sickness she was very Meek and Patient as in all her former Sicknesses and Pain The Disease took her Head which deprived her of her Understanding but I bless God that so guarded her Tongue that she did not dishonour him The Lord was pleased to give her some little relaxation of her Disease in which Intervals she exprest her self Piously And desired of her Relations the carefull and good Education of her Child said she had oft begged of God in the behalf of her Relations by Marriage and for those who were not disposed of that God would fix them so as might be their best advantage both for Soul and Body and desired there might continue a Loving Respect between both Families which I do beseech God to preserve Her Disease did not give her leave to express herself as otherwise she might have done much more to God's Glory and the Comfort of her Friends But Blessed be God for his Grace bestowed on her that her Evidences for her Eternal Happiness were not to seek upon her Dying-Bed but were in the safe Hand of our Saviour and sealed with the Signet of God's Right-hand with an indelible Character and Inscription of God's Holy Image and Law on her Heart by his Holy Spirit as a Title to those Eternal Mansions of Glory purchased for her with the precious Blood of her dear Redeemer Jesus Christ in which Blessed Estate I humbly hope she is in the Everlasting Fruition and Enjoyment of God his Elect Angels and those Blessed Spirits of the Just made perfect Her Flesh also shall rest in hope of a glorious Resurrection when Mortality shall be swallowed up of Immortality God will joyn Soul and Body in an indissoluble Union with himself in that abundant Entrance into the Everlasting Kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ so shall she be for ever with her Lord in thy Eternal Praises In which Persuasion good Lord quiet my Heart that I may acquiesce in thy unerring Wisdom Good Lord scatter the Foggs and Mists of my unruly Passions that hinder the sight and view of thy reconciled Face and Favour to me I beseech thee Pardon my Sins and Offences which have provoked thee to this manifestation of thy displeasure against us bereaving us of our Children that of eleven none remains and of this the loss more grievous than any of the rest though they with her through thy Kindness very desirable to us but she our last one and all Lord shouldst thou take my Forfeitures how destitute should I be not only of Children but of all thy sustaining Mercies and above all in the irreparable loss of thy self who art abundantly better to me than Sons and Daughters Good Lord sanctifie to me this Dispensation and help me to find out the accursed thing which provoked thee to smite with so heavy a Blow I beseech thee with this correcting Hand beat off the busie Flies of Sin and Temptation that they may not corrupt my Soul Good Lord cleanse me from all filthiness of Flesh and Spirit that I may perfect Holiness in thy Fear run with Patience the Race thou hast yet set before me finish my Course in thy Service and conclude my Life in this World to thy Glory in the Salvation of my Soul for Christ's Sake Lord as for my self I beg of thee to be very Gracious to those related to us by the Marriage of our Dear Child though thou hast loosed the Knot that so nearly joyned our Families I beseech thee do not untie those
most afflicted Condition with them Good Madam they teaching you you may by the Art of Divine Chimistry extract and draw from Afflictions the refreshing Cordials of the Love of God by his sweet composure of them in his Love and Faithfullness to you you may get from the most unpleasant bitter Potion a healing Medicine you may get Meat out of the Eater God will make all subservient to his People though in their own nature contrary like Elisha's Ravens which were Birds of prey to bring the Prophet bread and meat By the over-ruling goodness of God Afflictions bring God's Children meat to eat the World knows not of and those Afflictions that look most terrible and most affrighting great in Stature like unto the Philistine's Champion that did so terrifie the Israelites Good Madam You may as David did overcome with that smooth white Stone St John speaks of wherein is that new name written which none can read but they that have it In that Stone it is written Be of good chear your Sins are forgiven It was the Custom of the Romans to which St. John alludes they gave a white Stone to those their Law acquitted and a black Stone to those their Law condemned this white Stone St. John speaks of is that Stone cut out of the mountain without hands Christ Jesus Good Madam On this Rock you may build safe and sure that if the boisterous Winds of Affliction beat vehemently upon you you may be able to stand in the day of your Visitation If God should suffer Afflictions like unto St. Paul's which he call'd Deaths oft they may be to you as they were to him they were lifts unto his greater degrees of Glory which made him to call them Light Afflictions that lasted but for a moment and that they shall work for God's People an exceeding and eternal weight of Glory Good Madam As the Afflictions of this Life shall not last long so the Prosperity of this World is but short also they are but Pageantry Delights that pass away and leave Dissatisfaction behind them but God would not have his Peoples Spirits always flag they have their intervals in the day of Prosperity to rejoyce but in the day of Adversity to consider God having set the one over against the other and both on the Wing of Time which many drive away not considering a dependant Life which of it self flies away so fast the things of this World and Life also they do make haste to give up their Accompts to God for a short work will the Lord make on the Earth and finish his Work in Righteousness He will say to the North Give up and to the South keep not back bring my Sons from far and my Daughters from the ends of the Earth and all shall as faithfull Depositors restore to God yea every one shall give an account of himself to God and if God suddenly call for them they hasten their speed and swiftly fly away as an Eagle towards Heaven Good Madam You have experienced it dear Lady Essex she hath taken her flight from all mutations of this Life and is gone to God whose she was that lent her you but for a time She is not lost but restored again where she is in an unalterable and happy Estate Good Madam What cause of complaint Do not account her gain your loss the most and best she could have enjoy'd of the Blessings of this Life Relations Friends Pleasures Riches all promised well in her Marriage but all uncertain but is now in a fixt uninterruptable more blessed Condition to which nothing in this World hath any proportion and the most splendid things of this Life comparatively are but shining Glow-worms which must have the advantage of the disappearing Sun for their glimmering Beauty Who would chuse Candle-light rather than the clear light of the bright Sun Dear Lady Essex she hath the sweet smiles of God's reconciled Face which shine on her by the Sun of Righteousness Christ Jesus the Bridegroom of her Soul and is with her best Relations God and Angels and is one of that blessed number of his Triumphant Saints made perfect in endless Glory never more to die She hath passed the dark Valley and is got safe to her Inheritance in the highest Heavens purchased for her by an invaluable Price bought for her by her best Beloved Jesus Christ Good Madam Why do you greive You would not have her back again into a Sin-defiling-World where the happiest Estate or condition is intermix'd with intervening troubles accompanied with sorrows which would have been as jointly yours as hers from which God hath freed you both Good Madam Believe God means you no ill he doth sometimes by one great Affliction free his People from many that might be greater than that which God onely can foresee sometimes a large Orifice effects the perfectest Cure and the bitterest Potion the best Health Good Madam chearfully take the Cup your heavenly Father hath put into your Hand of this relation you can receive no hurt Christ hath told his People That through many tribulations they shall enter into the Kingdom of Heaven be not afraid of your way it is no untrodden path the best of Men have gone that way God hath one Son without sin none without suffering If Suffering abound your Consolation shall superabound that being made Conformable by suffering you may be more fitted for greater degrees of Glory Good Madam If God sees fit to lengthen out your Days it is to give you more work to exercise those Gifts he hath given you to improve for his use and your own advantage your Love Patience and Submission to him with the rest of the Graces of his Spirit he hath bestowed on you let them have their perfect Work and be not grieved that he hath given dear Lady Essex a less task than your self Good Madam Run with patience the race that is set before you finishing your work in well-doing unto which God will afford you his assisting Grace God will not deal with you as Pharaoh's Task-Masters over the Children of Israel they would give no straw and yet required the full tale of brick God will afford you his strength and extricate your difficulties his Providences shall comply with you and his Grace assist you in your hardest work he will put to his helping hand God will order the whole Series and Frame of this World for his Peoples best advantage then when all have acted a part God will take down the Stage of this World by the hand of undistinguishable Eternity Then Good Madam a past Errour cannot be retrieved when Time and Place in this World is taken away A little while the longest Life is so but he will come and will not tarry when his Peoples work is done he will bring his reward with him and acquit them from all the troubles of this Life and receive them where there is no pricking Briar nor grieving Thorn Sin Sorrow and Sighing shall flee