can do for me more abundantly than I can ask or think exceed my largest thoughts out-strip my highest Expectations And no man was ever disappointed who made Thee his Hope When I meet with Crosses and Wrongs Unfaithfulness Contempt Hatred and Persecution from Men I need not wonder I was never told by God it would be otherwise here Did I look for less from Creatures and expect more from God Did I reckon this World to be a state of Trial and not a place of Rest and Satisfaction My Faith and my Desires would be stronger with respect to God and Heaven and temporal Calamities and Disappointments less afflictive and vexatious And what is there O Lord in Heaven or in Earth my Soul can desire besides Thee Is there any thing desirable but as it is thine of thee and from thee And bears some Impression of thine Excellence or brings some Intimation of thy Love And what can I reasonably desire what that is worth desiring or having but thou art able to be and do and give In whom or what shall I Rejoyce but in Thee O Lord shall I solace my self in transitory Goods that slip between my Fingers and perish in the Using or relish carnal Joys which pollute and debase the Soul When I may and ought to Rejoyce in Thee at all Times as the only Source of perfect Everlasting Joy. Let me then stir up my drooping desponding unbelieving Heart to rejoyce in God who takes Pleasure in the chearful Service and Obedience of his Children who delighteth in those who delight in him Is not * Vid. Mr. Howe Of Delighting in God. Delighting in God a most essential vital part of Religion Should it not be my constant Frame Hath not God sufficiently provided that it may be so Can I say and believe that God is the Portion of my Soul that he is my God and I hope to live with him for ever and not Rejoyce Or can I consider the Grace of the new Covenant the matchless Love of Christ and the precious Promises of the Gospel and not see reason to Rejoyce Yea doth my Soul love God and endeavour to please him and is not the very Act and Exercise of holy Love mixt with unspeakable sweetness Whom is there in Heaven or in Earth or Hell that I ought to Fear but Thee Who hast a negative Voice in all the Designs of Men and Devils an hook in their Nostrils a Bridle in their Mouths to make them fulfil thy Pleasure and in every thing accomplish thy Soveraign Decree Is there any other in whom I may repose my Trust but in Thee O Lord the Rock of Ages The might of thy Power the unsearchableness of thy Wisdom the righteousness of thy Nature the stability of thy Truth the riches of thy Grace and the immutability of thy Promise are a sure foundation for my Soul to trust to and rely upon Thy word stands firm for ever and the Truth of thine ability and readiness to help in every time of need endures the same throughout all Generations At all times and in all places my soul may trust in thee and find relief And they who know thy name will do so for in the Lord Jehovah is Everlasting Kindness and Strength To answer all my doubts to supply all my wants to fill all my desires May not God take it unkindly that I trust him no more And is it not a criminal unkindness that I give him not the glory of all these Excellent Attributes which are the grounds of Trust by a constant steady intire dependance on him for all that I need I have none in Heaven but Thee O Lord as the object of my Invocation and Worship Let other Christians have recourse to new Mediators and call upon other Gods I will make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only And ask of thee whatsoever I need for the sake of thy Christ my only adorable Mediator Him thou hearest alway with him thou art always well pleased I honour the holy Angels as glorious Attendants about thy Throne and bless thee for them as Ministring Spirits for the good of thy Servants but I dare not invoke or worship 'em because they are Fellow Servants On the same account I honour the memory of Departed Saints but neither invoke them or pay them religious worship That Glory thou wilt not give unto another I have no precept in Holy Scripture to direct no promise to encourage no Example to authorize the invocation of any other but Thee in whom I believe and trust Rom. 10.14 Having such a God in Heaven what can I need on Earth His Eyes behold me his Wing is over me his Hand can supply me his Grace provide for me I can want nothing that is Good unlese I should need somewhat which God the infinitely Blessed and Allsufficient God cannot bestow If thou art the Portion of my Soul all mine Enemies cannot make me miserable unless they can void Heaven of the presence of God hinder his care bind up his hand or obstruct his Love. But tho my Enemies cannot I fear my Sins may They alone can separate between God and my Soul. And considering the multitude and aggravations of them and thine unspotted Holiness and Justice I should have too much reason to fear and tremble yea and utterly despair If I had none in Heaven but Thee But thy word assures me that I have a Mediator there a faithful and a compassionate High Priest Jesus Christ the Righteous whom thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins Who lives for ever in Heaven to make Intercession till he hath brought me there to behold his Glory and partake of it That Glory O Lord thou hast reserved for Heaven in this world we only desire believe and hope to injoy it Whom have I in Heaven That is the place of Fruition What can I desire upon Earth This world is the place of Desires as the other of full Injoyment Most of that which men call Injoyment in this Life consists but in Desire Desire or Lust is all that is in the wicked world 1 John 2. c. 13. the Riches of a Covetous worldling makes him desire more and the great mystery of Intemperance is to create and increase desires and Desires of another kind are the portion of good men in this world O that I could breathe after a state of perfect Fruition in Heaven with more importunate desires Who will give me to be in Heaven with Thee On Earth I desire nothing So one version Let me O my Soul think of Heaven as such a place or state of blessed Injoyment speak of it seek it long for it prepare for it as such And let Jesus Christ who is the desire of all Nations through whom all Divine Communications are made to fallen Sinners be the great object of my present desires and love Let me desire nothing but as in him and for him that believing
than Ignorant Heathens who never heard of Christ never saw his Miracles or were inform'd of his Doctrine How shall we escape For he will come again as a Conqueror and a Judge and not as a sufferer and a surety as he came at first and tho he was numbred with Transgressors and made his Grave with the Wicked at his first Appearance he shall hereafter be attended with the shouts of Angels who excel in strength and the joyful Acclamations of his Saints glittering as the Light and paying Homage to him as the Judge of Quick and Dead He whom we have despised shall then be encompast with a dazling Glory that will confound us He whom we have affronted will be clothed with a Majesty that shall astonish us He whom we have offended shall be armed with Power and with Wrath to punish us and all that continue to lift up the Heel against him shall then be made his Footstool all that refuse to kiss the Scepter of his Grace shall be broken in pieces by his Iron Rod. The holy Scripture doth frequently and expresly assure us that he will thus come again and for these ends He is exalted and gone to Heaven as the Head of his Church and the King of Glory and when he foretold his Ascension he gave a promise of his Return The Heavens are to contain him till the restitution of all things By his Providence and by the Holy Spirit he now carries on the designs of his Death and when these are accomplish'd he will appear to the Joy of Believers and the Confusion of the Wicked He is entred as our * Heb. 6 c. 19 20. 10 c. 10. Forerunner within the Veil to prepare Mansions and to take possession for us and will not always leave us in this dark and defiling World. He knoweth our Sorrows and heareth our Prayers and bottles our Tears takes notice of our Groans and in all our Afflictions he is afflicted Being reconciled by his Death at his first coming we shall be saved by his Life since he lives to make good his word of coming again How comfortable is the News of it how joyful will be the Meeting to such as expect and prepare to see him when the Sea and the Graves shall yield up their Dead and all the Prisoners of Hope lift up their heads arise go up and meet the Lord in the Air and ascend with him to the Heavenly Glory But who can express how dismal a sight this will be to the Secure and the Impenitent to all who die in their sins to behold their Judge who formerly offered to be their Saviour upon a glorious Throne and all the Children of Adam summon'd before his Tribunal to have nothing to answer against his Charge and no way to escape his condemning Sentence they despised him as a Lamb offer'd in Sacrifice to take away the sins of the World but shall no longer do so when he comes as the Lion of the Tribe of Judah to devour and destroy the Enemies of his Cross Now they will not own him for their Lord but shall then find he is so by the Vengeance he will execute As a Jesus as a Saviour they rejected him making light of his Salvation despising his Mercy refusing his Grace but the neglected Gospel will then be a more killing Letter than the Law. He who by his Ambassadors doth now intreat Sinners to be reconciled will then be as deaf to their Intreaties as they have been to His Because they would not turn at his Reproof hearken to the Call of his Word and obey its Voice they must hear the Sentence of Condemnation and feel the Execution of it whether they will or no yea the Blood of his Cross will upbraid accuse and plead against them And whatever foolish Evasions they now make to continue in security they shall then be Speechless and Self-condemned Nothing will be able to hide them from the amazing Presence of their Judge or from the Wrath of the Lamb. He then will inflict an intolerable and righteous Vengeance an Everlasting Destruction upon all the ignorant and ungodly World the Greatest the Stoutest the Boldest of them shall then be humbled and stand before Christ's Tribunal upon an equal Level with the meanest seized with horror filled with guilt anguish and despair and find to their eternal Confusion that the Judge is no respecter of persons but every man shall receive according to his works The Mighty shall not be spared for his Greatness nor the mean man for his Poverty O Fool O Wretch that I am shall many then say who now brave it out in Pride and Vanity unconcern'd about a future Judgment not to be persuaded by the terrors of the Lord which I was so often warn'd and foretold of What Refuge of Hope can I now flie to What can I say for my self What can I do to escape to die to exist no longer I would have no compassion on my own Soul I would not so much as consider its danger I shall now find none from Christ I can expect none His Mercy is gone and gone for ever I am lost undone tormented and must eternally be so O the Amazement Horror and Despair of self-condemned Sinners in that day of Vengeance O my Soul what is there of greater consequence or of greater certainty from the Word of God than that I must appear to Judgment when Christ shall come again Lord teach me to believe it firmly to consider it often to lay it seriously to heart to act under the Influence and Power of it as long as I live that at the Great Resurrection from the Dead I may lift up my head with a joyful Hope and find the Judge to be my Friend my Advocate my Jesus and not my Enemy and Destroyer XXIII Meditations of the Glory of Christ in his Glorified Saints and of the thankful Admiration of Believers when He shall come again from Heaven which shall be continued to all Eternity THE terror of our Lord's Appearance to Judgment cannot be greater to the Wicked than the Comfort and Joy of it will be to the Saints When they shall see Him whom their Souls love ascend with him to Heaven and be welcom'd according to his promise with those endearing words * Matt. 25. Come ye blessed Children of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from before the foundation of the World. 'T was for your sakes I assumed Flesh lived on Earth and died on the Cross to purchase this Glorious Kingdom for you which I now come to give you the Possession of 'T was for this I praied and suffered on Earth for this I interceded ever since in Heaven I was heard in that Prayer accepted in those Sufferings and my Intercession granted that where I am you may be also to behold my Glory Come therefore good and faithful Servants enter into your Lord's joy O what ravishing words will these be What an Extasie of Love and Kindness is
which they enjoyed first in faith and hope and afterwards in fruition Yea they passed through the dark valley and so must we Their Earthly tabernacle was dissolved and so must ours be We must expect to go the same way to Rest and Glory and wait Gods Time for our admission We must finish first the work which God hath for us to do and suffer and then all Tears shall be wiped from our eyes we shall grieve no more we shall sin no more but be as the Angels in Heaven or as the Spirits of the Just made Perfect XIII What Influence the consideration of Eternity would have upon our Hearts and Lives if soundly believed and considered Especially if the supposition of Dying this year be annexed to it WIth what Humility Mortification and Self-denial what Seriousness Watchfulness and resolved Constancy would every Christian live on Earth did he act alwaies under the influence and power of a confirmed Faith concerning the Life to come We should not then grudge at a little labor or boggle at a few difficulties in our way What tho' I meet with injuries and affronts hadships and inconveniencies Being now in a Foreign Country and every day I live one daies journey nearer my Eternal Home Shall I not patiently bear momentany Sorrows while I believe I am hastening to Eternal Joys Did I look more to the Everlasting World should I not make the pleasing of God in order to my Eternal welfare the great business of my Life Should I not serve the Lord with more fervency of Spirit and be better fortified against the fears of man who can but hurt and kill the Body nor that neither without the permission of God Should I not order all my affairs answer all Temptations mortifie inward Lusts live in the Exercise of Grace and in circumspect persevering Obedience in order to it Should I not watch more over my Heart and Lips and Ways be more diligent to trim my Lamps more crucified to this world more careful to call my self frequently to an account and renew my Repentance Would not my converse be more useful and edifying my discourses more savory and full of Religion my Prayers to God more humble and earnest my Charity to men more unfeigned and extensive and my preparations every way more suitable to such a Faith and to such apprehensions of an Everlasting State Could we carry the thoughts of Eternity about with us every day and often admit them in our civil and secular affairs did we repeat it frequently to our selves at least every Morning as soon as we are awake that we are near Eternity this grain of Incense would perfume the whole Temple and be an Antidote against inward Lust and impure Thoughts against the Infection and defilement of bad Company and the snares of worldly Business and do much to prevent vain and sensual actions and to cure vain affections Did we believe it and believe it near should we not take as much pains to secure Eternal Life as we see Men do to get Riches Should we not use the same diligence care and circumspection the same prudent foresight watchfulness and perseverance to prevent Everlasting destruction as others do to provide against Poverty and to live in Plenty a little while on Earth Should we not rejoyce as much in the promise and hopes of it as others do in the prospect and expectation of some Earthly Advantage Lord I confess and bewail the weakness of my Faith. How often have I concluded and said that Heaven alone is the place of Happiness and yet my carnal Heart is too much affected with Earthly Things How often have I resolved upon the conviction of the certainty of the Eternal World to mind this less and to affect and seek it no more as I have done and yet my foolish Heart is hankering after it still O crucifie my affections to things below and let the believing Thoughts of the next Life render me victorious over all the Temptations of this Pardon and cure the staggering trembling Thoughts of an unbelieving Heart by greater measures of a lively Faith. That my desires may be strong and urgent and my diligence and stedfastness in the way of Truth be some way correspondent to this important Article Let me live only for Eternity hope for nothing but Eternity design and intend nothing as my chief end but Eternity and seek and mind nothing in comparison with Eternity Did we believe it how would every thing in this World be lookt upon as eligible or fit to be refused as it is like to be an help or an hindrance with reference to Eternity we should then endeavour to do nothing unbecoming such an Expectation Considering this World as our Passage and the invisible future World as our abiding Country where we are to dwell for ever whatever we meet with here whether sweet or bitter easy or troublesome pleasing or ungrateful we should not much matter but as it relates to hereafter And were I certain I should have no longer time of Trial in order to this Eternal State than this one year which is now begun if a Messenger from God should convincingly assure me of it what would I not do to prepare for Death and secure the interests of Eternity With what remorse and deep Repentance should I reflect on the Follies of my past Life With what importunate cries should I beg Forgiveness How patiently should I bear Calamity for so short a time How little should I value the favours or frowns of Men How circumspect to improve every Season of doing and receiving good How careful to avoid Temptation and how resolute in resisting it Did I verily believe I had no longer time to live on Earth than this one Year at most how insipid would be the offer of carnal Mirth vain Pastime sensual Diversions idle Company c. how should I value every Hour every inch of my little Time under the apprehension that Eternity is at hand O my Soul shall I make no provision against the possiblity of such a case Is not my change as certain as if it were this year as if it were to Morrow tho' I am not certain it is so near nor certain but it may be Let me then seek first the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness let me fix it well and make it clear that I have secured my great Concern and am ready for a sudden summons XIV How a Good Man may improve and encourage himself under the Supposition of dying this Year even in the most uneasy and undesirable Circumstances I May dye this Year then all my Cares and Fears if I am Rich all my Sorrows and calamities as to this World if I am Poor will die too I may dye this Year then I shall have no more Enemies no more Sickness and which is infinitely better I shall Sin no more I must shortly die it may be this Year but there is no other way to come to a blessed Life
New Heaven and a New Earth in this However I rejoyce in Hope and pray incessantly for the Resurrection of the Witnesses and the rebuilding of Sion and the more plentiful effusion of the H. Spirit the great comprehensive Promise of the later Times to effect a glorious Kingdom for Christ on Earth and my Faith assures me I shall hereafter see the Son of God revealed from Heaven cloathed with Majesty sitting on a Cloud leading the Heavenly Host raising the Dead by his powerful Voice summoning all the World to appear to Judgment gathering his Elect and finally destroying Death and him that had the Power of it the Devil condemning the wicked to Everlasting Destruction but acquitting honouring and rewarding his poor Members with infinite and Eternal Blessedness XV. Of Dying in a Foreign Country and of Dying Young. Considerations proper to Reconcile the Mind to both I May not live to the end of this Year God in his Providence having called me abroad I may never see my Native Country more Let me still remember O my Soul that wherever I am I am travelling towards the Grave and passing to another World that I may live in all Places as a Pilgrim and Stranger here on Earth with Affections suited to my condition becoming one who is travelling in a Strange Land. Let me bear the Inconveniences I may meet with in this World as Strangers in their Travels are wont to do Let me not repine at the ill accomodations of an Inn where I am to lodge but a night or two but encourage my self with the assurance of better Entertainment at home when my Pilgrimage is ended and my Journey over One of my dearest Holy Friends and Fellow Travellers whose memory will be ever precious (g) Mr. Thomas Bent who dyed at Geneva May 10. 1683. with those who knew him quickly arrived to his Journeys end and is entred into Rest betimes Which of his Companions shall next follow we know not or how soon Lord make me apprehend the nearness of my change in every place and if I am prepared for dying no matter where it be There is no one Country farther from the Presence of God than another The whole World may be considered as one Great House and the several Kingdoms and Countries of it but as different Apartments in the same House and they who tarry at home are no more exempt from Death than they who travel abroad The Earth is the Lords and the fullness thereof I can go no where to be out of his Territories I shall still tread upon my Fathers's Ground I had rather be an Israelite in a Wilderness with the Presence of God than a Courtier in Idolatrous Aegypt Abraham the Father of the Faithful and the friend of God was banished from his own Country and should I never set foot again on my native Soyl there is no reason of murmuring against my God who hath dealt thus with many of his Favourites And while I have been in a strange Land he hath not suffered me to feel the wants and necessities and heart of a Stranger Among a People of a strange Language he can and doth provide for me all things richly to enjoy I may set up my Ebenezer Hitherto hath God supplied all my wants The Presence of my Gracious Father is every where the same in some measure Blessed be my God I have hitherto found it so And may I not rejoice in God in a Desert though all the World should forsake me though all the World should be against me Should I have no other Friend or Helper is not God an infinite God Enough and without his Favour and Presence what can all this World do for me If I am sick and in danger of Death among my Relations and Friends if the comforts of the Almighty do not refresh and delight my Soul they cannot and if I want not these in my last Agonies no matter in what part or corner of the Earth I breath my last If the word and promise of God be my Foundation an holy Hope my Anchor Christ my Pilot and Heaven my Country I shall not fail of being landed there at last Suffer me not to forsake thee O Heavenly Father while I live and do not thou forsake me in my last Hour and let it come when and where thou wilt If my blessed Saviour will receive my departing Soul at Death I am not sollicitous in what Country or part of the Earth it be And that I may not be unwilling in the flower of my Age and Time in Youth and Strength to leave this World let me think often that no one age or part of Life is more priviledged against the stroke of Death than another If I have done my work betimes as my deceased Fellow Traveller had is it not better to receive the Blessed Recompence than to tarry longer in a World of Sin and Suffering absent from the Lord Shall I not thereby escape a multitude of Temptations Sins and Sorrows which others by living longer are exposed to If my Peace be made with God what should make me willing to live at this distance from him What should render this World so desirable where God is so dishonoured where I am so often tempted to displease him and so often yield to such Temptations And may I not fear lest I should fall into such scandalous and grievous sins that may bring a publick reproach on the Gospel of Christ and sadden the Hearts of all my Acquaintance who love the Lord Jesus in sincerity By dying early I shall contract less guilt and commit less Sin and see and feel less Sorrow than others who live longer And tho' I should maintain my Integrity yet in this World my highest love and obedience to God and my sweetest Communion with him is but imperfect How many impediments and Diversions do I daily meet with that deaden my Heart to Heavenly Contemplations and Affections What disappointments and sorrowful disasters to convince me that this is not the place of Rest and Happiness What smart afflictions may some of my Relations prove What dangerous Snares may attend me in the remaining Portion of my Time What Opposition and Hatred from Men may the stedfast professing of the Truth and fidelity to God expose me to What publick national Calamities may I have my share in c. But if I consider old Age it self which we do desire to reach what and how many are the Infirmities and Griefs and troublesome Circumstances which attend that State which dying young will prevent Are not most Men who reach a very great old Age helpless objects of Pity A Burthen to themselves and to all about them And which commonly happens may I not then be as unwilling to dye as at present As loth then to leave the World as now tho' in a manner it will have left me For how many old Men past the relish of sensual Pleasures are yet inordinately fond of a longer Life Have
Lust before his favour and the Pleasures and Profits of this World before the Heavenly Glory and notwithstanding all the methods of his Grace and the checks of his Providence and of their own Conscience they will go on they will Dye Let me O my Soul adore the Soveraign Justice of God in all his Judgments and tremble at the threatnings of that Eternal Wrath which so few consider or believe till 't is too late Let the foresight and the fear of such an intollerable endless Punishment be a means to save me from it Let me herein read the evil of Sin and learn to abhor and avoid it Let me pity and warn and counsel and pray for those of my Relations and Acquaintance who live in Sin and run the hazard of this Eternal Ruin. Let me not envy the foolish Mirth and momentany Prosperity of the Wicked whose present joy must ere long expire and an everlasting Destruction succeed in its room (k) Joh. 20. ch 4 5. How short is the Joy of the Hypocrite and the triumph of the Wicked is but for a Moment Let me fear and dread every thing that leads to this dismal issue and improve every thing that may help me to escape it And by consequence let me less value all the Good and Evil of this present Life judge of all things by this light be patient under temporal Calamities and thank God that it is not Hell and thank him more that present sufferings do help to save me from Eternal ones Whatever I can suffer in this World let my condition be never so dark and sad and afflicted it is not it cannot be such but that every one of the Damned would think it an infinite Happiness to exchange with me and be as I am Let me think of those exquisite and eternal Flames to cure my Impatience under the sharpest Trials and Afflictions I may now suffer Did I believingly consider an Everlasting Hell * Qui non expergiscitur ad haec Tonitrua jam non dormit sed mortuus est S. Augustin I should not think much of any thing that is required to prevent it The severest exercises of Religion the strictest Temperance the nicest Chastity the largest Charity the greatest Self-denial all the hardships of Repentance and Mortification and continuance therein to the Death tho for many years more than I am like to live would be reckon'd easie as well as just if set in the ballance against the Eternal Mischiefs of the Damned What will not men do and suffer to prevent a Temporal Death They will endure a painful course of Physick tear out their very bowels by Purges and Vomits and are content to be cut and scarrified and to suffer any thing almost to save their lives But how little will they do to be saved from the wrath to come One would think they should have no Rest or Peace or be able to live a quiet hour till they had made some Provision against the hazard of this Eternal Destruction and look upon all men as their Friends or Enemies according to the help or hindrance they received from them in reference to it But the direct Contrary is every where apparent Men are careless and secure jovial and merry in the way that leads to Hell and esteem and love and chuse that Company that will help to bring them to this place of torment Yea such is their stupidity and strange perverseness that they will not suffer to be told of their Danger If you tell them that by such a Course or such an Action they will lose so much Money or their Lives will be in danger they reckon it an obligation will take it kindly and return you thanks But when they are told by such Courses and Actions they will lose their Souls and the Favour of God and the Hopes of Heaven and must Perish for ever this they will not receive they despise the message and scorn and hate the Messenger are displeased and angry at such faithfulness O bless the Lord O my Soul for any good hope through Grace of escaping this Intolerable and Endless Misery And let all that is within me bless his holy Name I have deserved the same endless and unsupportable wrath which Thousands are now under and shall be under to all Eternity but he did not suffer me to fall into it To be delivered out of those Torments after many years misery would be thought an admirable unspeakable kindness And is it not a greater favour never to be thrown into Hell which I have so often deserved How grateful would a damned person be to be freed from those Flames and plac'd in the same condition I now am in What a Life of serious self-denying obedience would he lead And hath not God done more for me Am I not more indebted to his Goodness He hath kept me out of Hell and offers me the Heavenly Glory upon reasonable honourable and easie Terms Blessed be God I may yet escape the wrath to come Let me heartily compassionate the delusion of those multitudes of deceived perishing Souls whose eyes are blinded by the God of this world who will not believe it till they are convinc'd by the light of that Fire which shall never be extinguisht Yea when I read or hear of Ten or Twenty thousand men slain in a War whteher of Infidels or Christians let me think of it with other apprehensions than formerly I was wont to do Considering that many it may be the most of these shall never have any Comfort or Mercy more fearing lest the same Sword or Bullet that gave them their mortal wound hath fixt them under God's Everlasting Wrath and that by dying they are undone for ever In very many other cases the Faith of this Article would rectify my Opinion and direct my Actions if seriously considered and improved This would make me think of Death under another Notion than 't is commonly considered For without the consideration of Hell annexed to it it is not so very formidable but that Heathens have been able to despise it The most contrary Sects among them on different grounds have been able to do it but consider Death as a passage to Eternal misery as the Gate of Hell as the end of all Comfort to a wicked Man and the beginning of an endless Calamity and nothing can be imagined more dreadful to a Guilty unholy Soul. Some of my Acquaintance it may be who died this last year are now among those Hopeless Despairing Wretches who expect the final Judgment of God to consummate their insupportable Misery If they were permitted to come and tell us what they suffer and what they know what a terrible consuming Fire God is what Vanity Lust and Folly brought them to this place of Torment what diligence they would advise us to while in a State of Hope to prevent the like if we have any love and and kindness for our selves any Bowels of Compassion to our own Souls what
continual fresh Communications from his infinite fulness must needs make our subjective Happiness to be always new and eternally such Let me by such Thoughts quicken and excite my diligent Endeavours after a greater meetness to injoy so great a Bliss And to that end consider whether any of those happy Souls who have finisht their Course and obtained the Prize do now regret their utmost Diligence Patience and Perseverance during their short abode here to secure the Blessedness of an endless Life No no they are far from repenting the Time they spent the Trouble they were at the Care they used the Difficulties they met with the Sufferings they indured to conflict with the World and the Flesh to resist Temptation to watch over their Hearts and Words and Ways to work out their Salvation to please God and be faithful to him c. They find to their unspeakable Comfort and everlasting Joy that Heaven makes amends for all they could do or suffer in order to their coming thither Yea they find that they were not Diligent and Humble and Patient and Circumspect enough That they did not love God and seek his Glory redeem their Time and improve all their Talents and Opportunities of doing and receiving Good and give up themselves intirely to prepare for Heaven to that degree they should have done They find by the transcendency of the blessed Recompence that it deserved infinitely more than the most Active Zealous Christian upon Earth did ever do in order to it Lord quicken my Resolutions and Endeavours by such thoughts as these Inspire my sluggish carnal Heart with holy Light and Life and Zeal and Fervour that looking to the things which are not seen which are Eternal I may * 1 Tim. 1.19 lay up a good Foundation against the Time to come and so lay hold of eternal Life But alas How much have I neglected the great Duty of Holy Meditation How little skill and experience have I in it How tastless and insipid oftentimes are my Thoughts of God! how confused and unsteady how little Pleasure or Advantage have I by contemplating his highest Excellencies Yet methinks could I but retain the same awakened lively thoughts of Heaven and Eternal Life which sometimes I have had might I continually feel the sweet and sacred Influence as for a little season I have sometimes felt it how little how very a Nothing would all this World be to me how comparatively weak its strongest and most alluring Snares to draw me off from God! with what an unshaken mind could I refuse and resist ' em with what an unconcerned indifference could I look upon all its most charming Glory Could I maintain such a frame of Spirit as I have sometimes had for a little while in the serious Contemplation of Divine Mysteries in Fervent Prayers and other Solemn Duties of Religion when the acts of Faith were strong and lively my Heart set on fire with love to God and holy breathings after him admiring his matchless Grace to fallen Sinners and to my Soul in particular when he brought me to the very Suburbs of Heaven tho alas how seldom by the delightful Thought of what the Blessed Spirits above injoy in being where Christ is and beholding his Glory when I was ready to say within my self 'T is good to be here this is no other than the Gate of Heaven Oh when shall Mortality be swallowed up of Life But when I thought at any time to fix and settle in such sweet Contemplations how quickly did my lazy backward Heart fly off how soon did the flame decay and dye away how soon did I find my self fallen down to Earth again sunk down from the Bosom of my Lord presently forgot my self and Heaven to dwell among the Pots and imbrace a Dunghill 'T was not on my own Wings O Lord that I soared so high but I hope by the breathings of that holy Spirit of Light and Love who bloweth when and where and how long he listeth Who gave me at any time any such first fruits of the Spirit who convinc't me of the Certainty of the Heavenly Inheritance by a lively believing foresight of it who made me earnestly desire the Wings of a Dove to be gone and appear before God in Sion made me Pant and Groan to be delivered and to be with God and Christ with inexpressible Desire and Joy unconceivably mixt with Sighs and Groans O my God! let not this experience be only such a Taste of the Powers of the World to come as is consistent with final Apostacy only the seeming Zeal of the stony Ground the rapturous Joy of an Hypocrite from the Power of Imagination and a heated Fancy from the workings of meer natural Self-love upon mistaken apprehensions of God and a false Opinion of Heaven but by the holy effects let me be assured of the Cause and Principle that it was of God! Teach me from the sweetness of a Spiritual Communion with God now in any of his appointed Ordinances to argue to my self what that most ravishing Satisfaction will be that the Enjoyment of God in Heaven will afford the Soul. Our Holiness is now imperfect to what it shall be and therefore our Consolation Peace and Joy is but in part and incomparably less than we are assured it will be when we shall be admitted to behold the Glory of the Lord. 'T is now at most but as the Break of Day to the Lustre of the Meridian Sun. But if in this low imperfect State we can sometimes obtain so near a View of his Glory and feel such sweet Communications of his Grace how much more of this Consolation and Joy is reserved to Heaven If in this Pilgrim State the Gifts and Graces and Comforts of the Holy Spirit are so refreshing O! what hath God prepared beyond the Grave for those who love him If now he sometimes shed abroad his love in our Heart after such a manner how much better shall I love him and feel the influence and evidence of his Love to me when I shall be with him and see him Face to Face If the apprehensions of this future Blessedness do now encourage raise and animate my drooping Soul O what shall I know and see And how shall I rejoyce when the Vail is removed If a Sacramental Communion with God and Jesus Christ be sometimes so sweet and so affecting what will the Blessed Communion with God and all his Saints above amount to when I shall sit down with all the Children of God in the Presence of the Bridegroom at the last great Supper of the Lamb in Glory If the Earnest of our Inheritance be so reviving what will be the full Possession of it If the Hopes of that glorious Day by holy Meditation be so transporting what will be the end of our Faith and Hope If a Grape or two in the Wilderness be such a Cordial what will be the whole Vintage in the Land of Promise Shall I after all
this forget my own Experience and run from God and Heaven to imbrace or seek a perishing Toy Shall I hide my self with Saul among the Stuff and Lumber of this World when God is calling me to a Glorious Crown Art thou O my Soul a King's Son an Heir of Heaven an expectant of such great Felicity and yet stoop so low Hope for Heaven and yet grasp this Earth and hug the vain Appearances of earthly Good Hope to be like to God and oh how Glorious an Hope is that to partake of his Image and live Eternally with him and yet be sollicitous anxious and disquieted about Honour and Money and a Temporal Interest And mightily concerned about the momentany Gratifications of the Flesh and the Injoyments of this World Art thou a Pilgrim and Stranger here and travelling home to the Heavenly Country and yet eager and passionate about earthly Things Should an Heart that is set upon Heaven or may be so and ought to be so should it burn with such Kitchin such common Fire And neglect the unconceivable Riches and Pleasures and immortal Honours of the other Life and the dawnings of that Glory upon my Soul by the foretasts of it in this How great is the disproportion between the Heavens and the Earth How vast the Circumference of the one and how small a Point the other How many thousand Miles doth the Sun travel in the Heavens while it passeth but one Inch upon a Dial Oh that my Affections were carried to heavenly Things with a swiftness somewhat answerable to the glorious Object And let their motion to earthly Things be rather slow and insensible like that of the Sun on a Dial. Since I profess to believe and wait for the heavenly Glory should I not live as seeking such things as expecting such a Glory And are careless and indifferent Thoughts sleepy heartless Prayers faint and weak Endeavours becoming in such a case Shall I not mend my Pace and double my Diligence in my preparatory Work When I can believingly foresee the blessed Recompence waiting for that Everlasting Light of the Sun of Righteousness which no Eclipse shall ever darken or obscure for that Eternal Glorious Day which shall never be closed with an Evening When I shall see the Face of God in Christ and be like him participate more of his Image rest in his Love and dwell for ever in the Light of his Countenance according to the Prayer and Promise of my Blessed Saviour And ought not such a prospect to sweeten the Bitterness of all our intermediate Sufferings We are now oftentimes in Heaviness and Sorrow but Eternity will be enough for an interrupted Joy. When we shall exchange all our Troubles for everlasting Rest our Prisons for perfect Liberty our Poverty for the Riches of God Darkness for Light discord for Love Deformity for Beauty our Weaknesses and present Languishings for Strength and Vigor Folly for Wisdom Disgrace for Glory Sickness and Pain for eternal Ease and Health the Animal for the Angelical Life Imperfection and Pollution for consummate Holiness our Sighs and Tears and Sorrows and Complaints for triumphant Everlasting Praise our Losses Affronts Disappointments Perplexities Fears Groans and Death for Crowns and Scepters Hymns and Hallelujahs Light and Life and Bliss unutterable and such great things as are fit for us to hope but too great to be now particularly understood and talkt of while we know but in part and see through a Glass darkly yea it seems as if it were not lawful to utter 'em 2 Cor. 12.4 and now they cannot be exprest or fully known for Eye hath not seen or Ear heard or can it enter into the Heart of man to conceive that prepared Glory XXI A devout Meditation upon the 73. Psalm 25. Whom have I in Heaven but thee And there is none upon Earth that I desire besides thee WHat is there in Heaven or in Earth O Lord but thy Presence to be valued loved desired chosen sought or delighted in There is nothing in either World desirable without Thee nothing certainly above Thee nothing in Comparison with Thee In Thee alone I trust on Thee I depend in Thee I repose my Confidence and Hope from Thee I expect all my Felicity and Salvation What ever I can lose yet with the continuance of thy Favour which is my Life I have still Enough With that I am Rich without it I am Poor and Miserable And if I want the Love of God all that Heaven and Earth can give besides will not make me Happy In Thee therefore I would terminate all my Affections all my Devotions There is nothing of Heaven to be had on Earth but in thy Favour Image and Love and the reviving Sense of it And all the Heaven I expect hereafter 't is in the more full and immediate Communications of these in thy blessed Presence I can desire nothing upon Earth I can injoy nothing in Heaven but Thee both here and there thou art and shalt ever be my all-sufficient satisfactory Portion my Everlasting All None else can be the Portion of my Soul. Nothing else can fill up all its Wants answer all its Cravings be suited to all its Capacities appease and charm all its restless Motions and give complacence to all its Desires and be the proper Object of all its Affections What is there else can justly claim my Love or pretend to my supreme Affection in comparison with God Thou art alone the proper Center of it Thine infinite and incomparable Excellencies who art Love it self deserve my choicest Love and thy numberless Mercies and Benefits challenge it as a just Debt as a piece of Homage due from all and of special Gratitude also from me Oh that I could love thee above all things who alone art worthy of all my Love O that Divine Love might be the ruling Principle within me to inspire all my Thoughts to regulate all my desires to set all the Powers of my Soul on Work O that it might take the full Possession of my Heart and so animate and order all my Actions to please him whom my Soul loveth If as yet I cannot say with thine Apostle Lord thou that knowest all things thou knowest that I Love thee Yet I can say Lord thou knowest that I would Love thee Thou hast provided for our Happiness by that first and great Command of loving thee with all our Hearts and Souls and Strength But alas how backward is my sluggish carnal Heart to this delightful Exercise Tho I have so oft been told that God is Love and that he that dwelleth in Love dwelleth in God and God in him O shed abroad thy Love into my Soul that I may feel the vital Power and Influence of it and live continually in the Love of God and that nothing may ever be able to separate me from it Whom have I in Heaven or Earth to Hope in but Thee I expect more from Creatures than they can or will perform but God
Goodness in preserving them to the beginning of another and withal excite them to pray for his Protection and Blessing for the New Year on which they now entred Maimonides the famous Jewish Rabbin thinks the sounding of Trumpets at this time was designed to signifie some such Exhortation as this (a) Canones de Poenitent cap. 3. can 6. Arise O ye sleepers out of your sleep and you that slumber awake out of your slumbering Search your works and turn by Repentance Remember your Creator you that have forgotten the Truth and have exchanged it for the Vanities of the World and have all your Lives wandred after Vanity which will not profit or deliver you Consider your Souls consider your Ways and Works and let every one of you forsake his evil way and his thoughts that are not good Some have imagined a typical Representation of the two Covenants in this Feast The Old Covenant figured by the Year passed and the Covenant of Grace or the Gospel state by the New Year then begun and that by the sound of Trumpets was prefigured the future Preaching of the Gospel according to that of the Apostle Their sound went forth unto all the Earth and their words unto the end of the World and so the Feast of Trumpets is abrogated by the Preaching of the Gospel if that were typically signified by it The publication of the Gospel is the joyful sound Psalm 89.15 And Ministers are to lift up their Voice like a Trumpet Isaiah 58.1 the discharge of their Office as Watchmen is exprest by setting the Trumpet to their mouth Hos 8.1 Ezek. 33. When the Jews shall be converted to the Faith of Christ it is said in that day the great Trumpet shall be blown and they shall come who were ready to perish Isaiah 27. ult 'T was the Office of the Priests to sound these Trumpets Numb 10.8 The publick Dispensation of the Gospel is committed to Ministers set apart for that Work as the Sons of Aaron for theirs We read but of two Trumpets at first for Eleazar and Ishamar the two Sons of Aaron Numb 3.4 But David added many musical Instruments And in Solomon's time at the dedication of the Temple we read of one hundred and twenty Priests who sounded with Trumpets 2 Tim. 5.12 Without supposing any Type here in a strict and proper sense we may yet farther consider the Parallel and observe how the Joy and Gratitude of these Trumpets did excite is exceeded by that greater rejoycing promised and foretold by the Prophets when the glad tidings of the Gospel of Salvation by the Messiah should be publisht to the World Isa 54.1 Luk. 2.11 Gal. 4.27 which hath been in part accomplisht And will be more compleat in that Kingdom of Peace and Purity which Christ will establish upon Earth toward the end of the World And shall be finally perfected at the end of Time when Days and Years and Time thus measured shall be no more When the Messiah our B. Saviour having finished his mediatory undertaking as to what concerns Earth shall come again from Heaven with the Trump of God to raise the Dead and summon all the World to their final Judgment Then shall he deliver up the Kingdom to his Father And the Faithful enter into the Joy of their Lord and be for ever with him There is a Tradition among the Jews mentioned by Maimonides (b) Canones de Poenit. ch 3. can 5. that on the first day of the New Year God enters into Judgment for the Sins of the Year and Life past That every ones Faults are weighed against his good Works He that is found Righteous is sealed unto Life And he that is found Wicked is sealed unto Death And 't is a general Custom that hath obtained among the Jews for the ten first days of the New Year to rise out of their Beds in the Night and to continue in their Synagogues praying and worshipping until break of day The superstitious and ridiculous Ceremonies of the (c) Vid. Ceremones Cout parmi les Iuifs d'aujourdhuy par 2. c. 53 modern Jews on this Day I shall not repeat However vain and groundless superstitious and absurd many of their Customs and Practises are on this Day Yet this blind Devotion of the Jews may justly shame and condemn the Christians of our Age Who commonly spend the Beginnings of every Year worse than any other parts of them and instead of any solemn Retirement for Prayer and Meditation which might assist them to number their Days and prepare for Eternity instead I say of such seasonable Exercises how do vain and hurtful Sports and Pastimes or trifling and unedifying mirth and fruitless conversations consume the greatest part of the Days and Nights too of the beginning of the Year And thus when the first fruits of the Year are offered up to Sin and Vanity 't is no wonder if the following parts of it are imployed to no better purpose without any due concern for the Soul and an Everlasting State. To endeavour some Remedy to those disorders and give some Assistance to them who desire seriously to make Religion their Principal Business is the end of publishing these Reflections I most heartily beseech the God of all Grace to influence by his Holy Spirit the Conscience of every Reader that some such effect may be attained Having found the Practice recommended to be of some use to my self and my own Heart warmed in composing the substance of these Papers tho' without any Intention at that Time of exposing them to the World 't is not unreasonable to hope That what hath been beneficial to one may be helpful to another It cannot certainly be unadviseable or improper to Begin the Year with God with whom we should begin every Day 'T is decorous and becoming to Dedicate our selves to Him in a more solemn manner than ordinary at such a Time Thankfully to acknowledge the Favours and Blessings we have particularly received the Year Past And to recollect the Sins we have been guilty of to aggravate them with Humility Contrition and deep Remorse to renew our Covenant with God to repeat and fortifie our Resolutions of living better imploring his Grace to assist us in it to reflect seriously on the Mutability Frailty and Brevity of our present Life to consider the Swiftness Uncertainty Irrecoverableness and consequently Value of our Time to look forward to a Blessed or Miserable Eternity one of which we must share in and to confirm our Faith in the Certainty thereof and consider our near Approach to such an unchangeable State to think what Improvement we should make at the Death of others especially of Relations and Friends who have lately been called home To make the Supposition in good earnest that we may follow them this Year and dye before another New Years-Day to imprint such a Thought on our Hearts and the Inferences that may naturally be deduced from it to beg of God to inable us to Redeem
Body an Hair a Feather a Vapour a Breath hath done it and when the Apostle James asks the Question What is your Life He answers It is even a Vapour that appeareth a little while and then vanisheth away VI. Of the Redemption of Time how precious and valuable a Treasure it is and will be thought to be when 't is too late IS the Life of Man so short and fleeting our Days on Earth so few and so uncertain how careful should I be to manage every Hour endeavouring to match the Swiftness of Time by my celerity and diligence to improve it I can have no Business of greater or of equal Moment to mind than to secure the Happiness of my Soul in another World. And shall I lavish my Time and lose my Pains about things unnecessary What will all other Business signifie in the end if this be neglected Is there any Interest more weighty that calleth me from such work Is there any thing else that so well deserves my Time That may be put into the Scales or weighed in a balance against this Shall Eternity which comprehends all Time have the least share of my Time allotted for its concernments How little a part of my Time hath been hitherto employed in such work How reasonable how necessary is it to redeem the little Inch of Time that yet remains but hastens to a Period For as there is no Covenant to be made with Death so no Agreement for the Arrest and Stay of Time it keeps its pace whether I redeem and use it well or not The greatest part of our Life is designedly employed to avoid Death we eat and drink and sleep and labour and rest that we may not die and yet even by these we hasten to Death Every Breath every Pulse every Word leaves one less of the number which God hath appointed me and carries away some Sands of the Glass of Time and yet how little care is taken to employ it well We seldom value it till we can no longer use it to any advantage and though we know it can neither be retarded in its motion or recalled when past yet of nothing are we more prodigal Yea how many complain of it as a Burden and know not what to do with their Time are exceedingly at a loss wherein to employ it what to do to be rid of it But alas how near is that Change when they shall think nothing too dear to purchase some few Grains of that Sand which now seem too many while they are passing through their Hour-glass How sad will be the review of our lost and ill-spent Time How different an Opinion of its Value shall we have on a sick-Bed or when our Time and Hope is gone How many Weeks and Days and Hours O my Soul have I trifled away in Sloth and Idleness in foolish Mirth and hurtful Company in vain Thoughts and impertinent Discourse in excess of Sleep and needless Pastimes Feastings inordinate Care to adorn the Body or gratifie the sensual Appetite All that which is past is irrecoverable and the little remainder flies apace How quickly will it be gone How soon how suddenly may an unexpected Stroke of Death conclude it And yet this is all the opportunity I shall ever have to make my Peace with God and prepare for the everlasting World. Did we consider it as we ought we should not foolishly throw away so much of it in Trifles and things impertinent or what is worse How much more might we redeem than commonly we do To how much better purpose might we husband it How much more work might we do were we never idle or did not loyter We might walk far did we not often stand still or go out of our way We see it plainly by the great and excellent Effects of some few mens Industry in every Age. Art hath found mean to set Spies and Watches as it were on the Sun that he cannot look out but they take hold of his Shadow and force it to tell how far he is gone that day and yet while we are curious in making Time give a just account of it self to us how little do we consider the account of our Time which we must shortly give to God Oh that such a Thought might effectually persuade me to redeem it that I may not tarry till the end of Time to know the worth of it Let me not undervalue it while t is given me to be used that I may not eternally regret my Folly when Time shall be no more God calls me to Diligence and Labour the Work he calls me to is excellent and the Reward glorious to know and love and serve and obey him in order to eternal Life and shall I yet be idle Is this the Use and End of all my Time And do I know it and believe it Do I indeed believe it and yet delay and loyter and waste my precious Hours in vanity Am I going into Eternity and entring into another World and know that I must be in Heaven or Hell for ever and have I Time to throw away Am I fit to die and to appear before my Judge or am I not Am I made meet for Heaven by pardoning Mercy and sanctifying Grace Have I the Earnest of the Spirit to witness and assure me of it Is my Interest in the Promise of Eternal Life as firm and my Evidence of it as clear as it may be made Am I not conscious to my self that much of this necessary Work is yet to be done And shall such an unprepared Soul as mine be careless and indifferent how I spend my Time VII Of the Ordinances of Heaven Day and Night Summer and Winter Seed Time and Harvest their order and succession establisht by God is the effect of Infinite Wisdom and Goodness What they may teach us WHen I consider the beginning of another Year I can hardly avoid reflecting of its several parts Summer and Winter Spring and Fall Day and Night and their alternate Turns This calls me to observe and admire his Eternal Power and Godhead Wisdom and Truth who is the Great Author of this admirable variety Who hath fixed the Earth whith his Foot and hanged it on nothing and setled the Luminaries of Heaven for Excellent Ends The Sun to Rule by day and the Moon by Night thereby to distinguish Times and Seasons to seperate Day and Night Winter and Summer and consult the convenience of Man and Beast by their due succession The Day is thine the Night also is thine thou makest Summer and Winter How wonderful is their Order Beauty and constant course that when the Sun withdraws and the shadows of the Evening cover the Earth with darkness to conclude the Day the Moon and Stars supply the place of the absent Sun during the Night and that tho they differ in length yet gradually lessen till they are both equal at the years end and have made the same Circuit How excellent a work of God is
vain If I could not look from this Sea of troubles to the Haven of Rest from this dark Prison to the Region of Light from this deceitful troublesome and defiling Earth to a Blessed Everlasting Heaven For verily if there be no World but this every Man in his best Estate in this World is altogether Vanity Selah Psal 39.5 'T is a certain undoubted Truth the prefixed verily tells us so and that it deserves to be well considered we learn from the concluding Selah Every Man is Vanity Not the Inferior parts of the Creation only But Man the Lord of all And Every Man every Adam from himself to the last Man that shall by ordinary Generation descend from him Not the Ignorant Poor or Wicked only but all the Individuals of this Species Young or Old strong or weak beautiful or deformed rich or poor high or low good or bad in respect of the Body and this present Life every one is vanity and this is true suppose him in his Best Estate not only in helpless Infancy and Childhood or in decrepit old Age not only in pain and poverty and disgrace but in his most setled most flourishing most envied and admired condition upon Earth in the midst of strength and wit and honour when at best as to body and mind and outward Circumstances when he looks fairest when he shines brightest in the height of all his Glory with the greatest likelihood of a Continuance yet then he is but vanity In his frame in his temper constitution inclinations actions and imployment he is a meer Shadow an empty mutable inconsiderable thing and not to be accounted of His Heart his head his imaginations reasonings desires purposes projects hopes and fears are all Vanity and altogether Vanity in all the parts and kinds and particulars of it He not only may be but he is so in his best Estate if this World be his Best if this be our All and nothing more to be expected after death And how should such a Reflection strike me to the Heart to suppose that after a few years are ended I must return to my first Nothing and my very being be (f) Vid. Mr. How 's vanity of Man as mortal swallowed up of Eternal Death what satisfaction can I then take in any present Enjoyments if an Eternal Annihilation be at hand when I must bid adieu for ever to all that I now possess What delight can I have in the ordinary comforts of Life with this Belief that within a year or two it may be to Morrow I shall sink into the dust and exist no more What Pleasure in any thing with this dismal Expectation The more flourishing my condition is in this World the more should I dread to lose it if nothing better nothing at all can be injoyed after Death Some Philosophers have ignorantly urged such a consideration as an Antidote against the fear of death but the admission of it may rather deprive a Man of all the comfort of Life What then is the advantage of a Wise Man above a Fool the exercise and improvement of our noblest Faculties would render us more miserable than others if nothing be expected and certain when this Life is over Not only sensual but intellectual Pleasures would be disturbed and destroyed by such Thoughts that very shortly the next Year or Day I must disappear and all my Injoyments and Hopes be utterly and for ever lost with my very Being Were the case thus which such Consequences evince it is not it were better for most Men they had never been Born whether their condition here be Prosperous or Afflicted For what Comfort or quiet can any Man have in Plenty and Prosperity when this frightful apprehension of an approaching end is ever present and what consolation can it yield a Man who is afflicted and Calamitous and yet loves his Life above all things to think that he shall not cease to be miserable but by ceasing to be And what is become of all Religion if such a thought be entertained All devotion to God is thereby extinguisht all the restraints of vice removed the Flood-gates of Impiety opened the encouragements of Vertue the rewards of Holiness the Foundation of Tribulation and suffering for Righteousness sake all at once taken away Lord confirm my Belief of the invisible future state of Rewards and Punishments and let not Sadducism and Infidelity damp my zeal in thy service or rob me of the comforts of this Life which if I have any solid ones must suppose the hopes of a Better Let others therefore O my Soul who expect not an Everlasting Heaven beyond the Grave place their affections on Earthly things and mind this World as if there were no betrer no other Let them who doubt or disbelieve the promised rewards of Eternity take up with what they must shortly leave and labour for the Bread that perisheth But since I profess to believe and seek the Life Everlasting let me daily entertain my self with the hopes of it and let all the flattering dreams of what is desirable upon Earth give place to nobler and better thoughts Let me derive my principal Joy from the promise and expectation of that future Felicity and endeavour nothing more than a meetness to partake of it O my God my God! thou art my Life and Joy and Portion in thee and in thy love all my desires and hopes are answered and all my wants supplied However Evil this World is made by Sin yet thou art the infinite and supream Good. How mutable how uncertain how perishing soever are all sublunary things yet thou art the rock of Ages the fountain of everlasting Life and hast appointed another World and another Life when this is ended wherein thou wilt be better known and loved and served and honoured and communicate thy self more abundantly than now to those the desire of whose Souls is towards thee that believe and love thee that partake of thine Image and are devoted to thy Fear The assurance of this and nothing else will answer the objection of the present vanity and misery we are subject to XII The consideration of the Death of others especially of Relations Friends and Acquaintance how to be improved What instructions we may learn by the sight of a dead Carkass or a Deaths Head and the usual Motto on it and what by the Death of Holy Persons to quicken our desires to be as they HAth divine Patience added one year more to the number of my Days when so many others were removed by Death the last Year Others whom a few Months since I knew in vigorous health wiser stronger more likely to live and to answer the ends of Life than me some of them my near Relations and useful Friends in whose converse I took delight and promised my self advantage by their Company and Examples But they are taken and I am left Thy Holy Will O Lord is done and they who were prepared are infinite Gainers by this
more than such distant Calamities will affright Let me therefore endeavour to impress the consideration of Eternity as at hand more deeply on my Heart that I may walk and live discourse and pray and demean my self in every thing as near an unchangeable State. Am I not convinced that this is certain from the nature and operations of my Soul from the reflections of Conscience from the Righteousness of God in his Government of the World from the present unequal distributions of Good and Evil by his Providence and from the plain and frequent assertions of his Revealed Will I have nothing to object nothing to reply but I find a necessity of inculcating and urging the consideration of it in order to its influence I find it needful to reflect often how near I am to such an endless State that in one Instant by Death I enter upon it and that this Instant may be as near me as my next Thought That the holy Scripture describes the two contrary Conditions after death and every Man and Woman in the World shall share in one of them as both Everlasting the one by Eternal Life Eternal Glory an incorruptible Crown that fadeth not away an incorruptible Inheritance an House Eternal in the Heavens c. the other by unquenchable Fire a Prison whence no escape Eternal Damnation Everlasting Burning everlasting Punishment everlasting Destruction a Worm that never dies wrath that is ever to come blackness of darkness for ever ever c. Think O my Soul that in one of these two contrary States I must abide for ever In endless Joy or Sorrow Blessed in the Presence of God or for ever banished from it And whoever thou art that readest this apply it seriously to thy self 't is thine own case Yea I tell thee from God that Holiness of Heart and Life is absolutely necessary to the former and that without it thou shalt never see his Face but be punished with Everlasting Destruction from the Presence of his Glory Is this an unquestionable Truth O let me consider it till I feel the Power and Efficacy of so important a Principle let the Impression be deep and lasting let it pierce and enter into my very Soul to cool the heats of Lust to quench sensual and earthly desires and to mortifie all inordinate affections to this World and fix my resolutions to mind and seek Eternal Life with all my Heart These are not difficult and perplexed Niceties which wise and holy Men differ and disagree about They are not Metaphisical Subtleties which few can understand but the express Word of God and the daily dictates of my own Reason and Conscience which all Christians and almost all Men in their Wits except in an hour of great Temptation confess and own or whether they will or no are forced to expect and fear if they are not in a condition to consider them with a joyful Hope Lord cure the unbelieving doubts concerning these Great things which notwithstanding the plainest Evidence the Devil may at any time suggest let a confirmed Faith be the Reality of what is thus future that my Soul may be influenc'd by them as it is wont to be by things present Let it be the Substance of things hoped for and the Evidence of things unseen and as yet at a distance as if the Day of Judgment were already come and there were no intermediate Time to pass between this and that O Eternity Eternity the more I consider it the more unfathomable still I find it Vnchangeable Blessedness or remediless endless Torments An Eternal blissful Day or everlasting Horror Darkness and Despair Life or Death Glory or Destruction to last as long as the immutable Living God! None of the Patriarchs who lived longest arrived to the period of a Thousand years which in comparison of God's Everlastingness is set forth but as one day But strictly considered millions of Years and Ages have no proportion with it because no multiplication of them will amount to Eternity Whereas one hour hath some proportion to an hundred thousand years Because a certain number of Hours will amount to so many years But no number of Years or Ages never so often multiplied will make up Eternity as no substraction of Millions of Years will lessen it and entire Eternity will be still to come and will ever be to come When innumerable myriads of years are past Eternity shall then seem but to begin because when as many more are over it shall be as far from an end Oh that the thoughts of Eternity may be powerful and prevailing above all others that I may Judge of every thing by its relation to it by its influence upon it Chuse now my Soul whether Everlasting Joys or Miseries shall be thy Portion but consider well that thine Eternity is concerned in thy present choice and that this choice must be pursued with stedfastness and constancy as long as I live And what are a few years to prepare for an Eternal State were we obliged to spend several hundred years in serious humble preparation for it with the greatest strictness and severity of Life during all that Time it were infinitely less than to spend an hour or two in preparing for the greatest Dignity and Imploy on Earth which can be enjoyed but for a few years at longest For to these an hour hath some proportion but an hundred or thousand years have none with an Everlasting Duration Therefore to consider how many years of toyl and pains and diligence many bestow on the probable prospect of some Temporal Good should reprove and shame my negligence and remisness in providing for Eternity XIX The Punishments of the Damned considered as Intolerable and Everlasting and as unquestionably Certain What the Reflection upon Hell-Torments may and ought to teach us THE Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom the entrance into the way of Life as it is ordinarily one of the first means to awaken the Soul to a serious concern for Eternity Let me therefore first consider the Endless Punishment of the wicked in the other World before I enter upon the ravishing Prospect of the Blessedness of Heaven promised to the Righteous And with what serious trembling should I think of the Terrors of an Everlasting Destruction which our Lord shall be revealed from Heaven to render to All who know not God and obey not the Gospel When the wicked shall go away into Everlasting Punishment as the Righteous into Life Eternal The dreadfulness of that Punishment the endless Duration of it joyned to the consideration of its unquestionable Certainty deserves the most attentive Thoughts of every Man who loves his Soul and would manifest he doth so by securing his greatest Interest The description of that Misery under insupportable and Eternal Torments demands more than a transient view because no words can sufficiently express the Horror of that State. What is it O my Soul to be banished from the Blessed Sight and presence
his Word obeying his Law adoring his Person imitating his Example trusting his Promise constrained by his Love partaking of his Image filled with his Grace and comforted by his Spirit my meditations of him may be sweeter and my love stronger and I may have nothing more left to desire for my self but that God who hath raised and exalted Him would keep alive my faith and hope and holy desires till he hath made me meet to be with him and after having guided me by his Grace and Spirit and Councels here on Earth would receive me to his most Blessed and Glorious Presence in Heaven Amen Amen XXII The Glorious Appearance of Christ to Judgment considered as Certain The Terror and Astonishment Confusion and Despair of Wicked Jews and Christians to behold their Judge and hear his condemning Sentence to EVERLASTING Destruction WHen our Blessed Saviour shall appear to judge the world I read that it shall be in his own Glory the Glory of his Father and of the Holy Angels If by the glory of his Father be meant that of the Divinity as the Original and Author of all things in nature as the Almighty Creator of the World and by the Glory of his holy Angels be understood that of the Legal administration the Law being given by the disposition of Angels and by his own Glory that of the Gospel as he is the Messiah that in the Glory of all these he shall come to Judgment we have a summary account of the three different Revelations which God hath made of himself to mankind by the Light of Nature that of the Law and the more manifest one of the Gospel According to which every man is to be judged at the last day Tho we cannot distinctly tell what or how great our Lord's Glory will then be we may be certain it will be suitable to the dignity of his Royal person suitable to the grandeur of his Father's Majesty with the splendor of a Triumphant Prince who is Heir of all Things and hath all power in Heaven and in Earth committed to him the Great Lord of both Worlds Head of Angels and Men and suitable to his glorious office as Mediator and the appointed Judge of Quick and Dead If at his Transfiguration his Face shone and his Rayment was white and glittering How much more splendid will his last Appearance be When the Bodies of his Saints shall be seven times brighter than the lustre of the Sun And if his Members shall then be so glorious how transcendantly more so will their Head their Lord appear If the delivery and promulgation of the Law on Mount Sinai was accompanied with such circumstances of terrible Majesty how much more may we suppose the Great Assize will be attended with When he comes to judge for the violation of the Law and the contempt of the Gospel And if even Moses did then exceedingly quake and fear what will be the consternation and trembling of the wicked World at the Coming of Christ When he shall be revealed from Heaven in flaming Fire with a glorious retinue of his mighty Angels as so many bright Stars about the more glorious Sun of Righteousness The lights of Heaven shall be Eclips'd the visible Sun shall vail its blushing head as infinitely out-shone the present glory of the Creation be all benighted by reason of his transcendant Brightness Yea the Heavens shall be wrapt up as a scroll the Elements melt away with a mighty noise the Earth and all its works be burnt up and the whole Universe as one great Bonefire to adorn the Triumph of our Lord's Appearance And this ushered in by the voice of an Archangel proclaiming his approach and the voice of God supplying the use of a Trumpet to raise the Dead and possess mankind with an aweful Reverence of their Judge Thus in Triumph as a Conqueror and a Judge shall he come again who once appear'd in the form of a Servant to be judged and condemn'd by Man. Then he was called King in scorn now he will appear as much above all Earthly and Humane Greatness as once he stoopt for our sakes beneath it Then the Contempt of Nations and no way esteem'd Desirable when he came from the womb of his Virgin-Mother now the Terror of the World when he comes again from the right hand of his Father No more to be subject to a state of Meanness but to render vengeance to all who know not God and obey not the Gospel and to be glorified in his Saints and admired in and by all them that believe * 2 Thess 1. chap. He was put to shame in the days of his Flesh made himself of no Reputation and accounted unworthy to live but when he comes again he will put on a Garment of Vengeance to repay Fury to the Enemies of his Cross and make his wicked Despisers rise again to shame and everlasting Contempt They that once bowed the knee to him in mockery and shaked their heads at him in derision shall then see every knee bow before him of things in Heaven things in Earth and under the Earth Angels Men and Devils in subjection to him as Lord and King. Pilate who condemn'd him as his Prisoner shall appear before him as his rightful Judge and know that he was another-guess King and Monarch than the Roman Emperor The false-witnesses who accused him of Blasphemy shall be impeach'd by one another and their own guilty Consciences before his Bar with the other Jews who once drag'd him before their Tribunal and be confounded to stand before his Judgment Seat. His Crucifiers shall behold him on a Throne of Glory whom they Nailed to an infamous Cross They shall be astonish'd to behold him sitting at the Right Hand of God whose Hands they bound whose Body they scourg'd whose Side they pierc'd They who Crown'd him with Thorns shall with all the World behold him with a Crown of Glory They that spit on him and smote him on the face with the fist of wickedness shall have their own faces covered with Confusion They that approved his Condemnation to Death as a Criminal shall be sentenced from his mouth as their Judge to Everlasting Destruction They that scourged him as a Malefactor shall be beaten with many stripes They that made him stagger under the weight of his Cross shall sink under the Guilt and Punishment of despising it They that Nailed him to the accursed Tree between Thieves and Robbers shall be sentenc'd to endless Punishment in much worse Company They who gave him Gall and Vinegar to drink shall not be able to get a drop of water to cool their own Tongues Where then shall the wicked and ungodly of the Christian World appear who Crucifie the Son of God afresh since he hath declared himself to be so by his Resurrection and the Mission of the Holy Ghost and fulfilling his threatned vengeance on the Nation of the Jews c If the Jews shall have a sorer Condemnation
another Thing than most imagine it When their aggravated Sins shall beset them behind and before be placed in order before their eyes and set in array against them 'T is always a work of Difficulty as well as Importance to crucifie corrupt affections to tear a beloved Lust from the Heart with self-indignation to abhor and cast away what before you lov'd and delighted in How did David's Sin stare him in the Face it is continually with me it is ever before me saith He. It haunted him like a Spectre or like Belshazzar's hand-writing on the wall it still appear'd before him in some horrid shape However Sin may smile in its first address and bespeak us in flattering language and promise Pleasure and Profit and great Advantages and Satisfaction these are but fair Appearances This is but the outside of the Cup and the colour of the Liquor it will prove Gall and Wormwood and a mixture of deadly Poison if ever God set it home upon the Conscience and awaken us to a true sense of it And the Continuance of dayly Repentance for Sin which all Christians are called to is no such easy matter neither Constant self-abasement and Humiliation before God from a sense of his Majesty and Holiness and of our many Sins and pollution thereby The imperfection of our best duties continually to be bewailed inordinate affections to be still mortified always resisting and opposing Sin in its Root and and Branches conflicting against the whole Interest of the Flesh the World and the Devil seeking after more Holiness to be deriv'd unto us by the Grace of Christ to be wrought in us by his Spirit and maintain'd by his Power and making dayly applications to the Fountain of all Grace for spiritual strength to continue our warfare against Sin in all Instances of outward duty and inward Actings of Grace even as long as we live all this is included in it Due Apprehensions concerning Repentance as so comprehensive and difficult a Duty would teach us to beware of Sin. XXVII The necessity of Christian Resolution to Vpright Persevering Obedience how full and extensive it ought to be and yet humble by what means we may be assisted to perform that which we resolve HAving acknowledg'd my transgressions unto God and begg'd forgiveness and experimentally learnt the Evil of Sin by the bitterness of Repentance I resolve for the future to watch against it more narrowly and against every thing that leads to it endeavouring to please and honour my God and Saviour by an upright obedient Heart and Life And for the remission of my former contracted Guilt I trust to Jesus Christ according to the Revelation made in the Gospel of what he is hath done and suffer'd and continues to do in Heaven for the Salvation of repenting Sinners who desire to come unto God by Him. But how often O my Soul have I mock'd God and deceiv'd my self with formal and faint Purposes of Amendment My good Resolutions have been all of them as the morning Cloud and the early Dew which quickly passed away One fresh assault of Temptation hath swept away all my good Purposes as a Spider's Web. I have falsified so many and broke my word so often that I dare not trust to any thing I now resolve or rely on any promise I should farther make Succor me therefore O Lord by thy powerful Grace that what was defective in my former fruitless Resolutions may be now rectified Let me be more humble in the sense of my weakness more dependant on thy Grace and more heartily seek it from time to time Strengthen me with Strength in my Soul with Might and Power in my inward man that I may so resolve and purpose as to perform that I may not be one day hot and the next cold zealous in the Beginning but faint and lukewarm in the Progress fervent and serious only in Resolving but weak and impotent in the Execution Having chang'd my Master my End and my Hopes by returning unto God from whom I had gone astray I firmly resolve through the assistance of his Grace to change my Course of Life that Old things being done away all things may become New that * Rom. 6. c. 22. being made free from sin by pardoning Mercy and become the servant of Christ I may have my fruit unto Holiness that my End may be Eternal Life In the interim whether I live or die let it be unto the Lord resolving both in Life and Death to be absolutely His. And to that purpose O my Soul let me seek for continual supplies of Grace from Christ my Head to enable me to yield ready Obedience in the most difficult hazardous painful and humbling Duties In vain do I resolve it without the assistance of his mighty Power to strengthen my Heart and Hands whenever I am called to such a trial of my Sincerity Without it I shall never recover my Liberty or break asunder those Bonds and Cords wherewith I have formerly been held Captive as the Servant of Sin and Satan Such is the Weakness and Treachery of my own Heart the influence of ill Examples and the subtlety and cunning of the Tempter that otherwise I shall quickly change my mind and return to Folly as the Dog to his Vomit The Spirit is so weak and the Flesh so frail the Snares of the World so many the Power of remaining Corruption so strong and of my self I am so unsettled and wavering fickle and unsteady and prone to backsliding that all my strongest purposes will not be sufficient without daily strength from above My Senses are so deceitful my Passions so ungovernable the Rule and Law I am to walk by so strict and spiritual and extensive Criminal Omissions may be so frequent and so easily overlook'd so many several and difficult Duties are to be performed and by every change of my Condition or of God's Providence so many new Dangers and new Duties may arise that I fear the issue of my firmest Resolutions So strict a Watch must always be kept such Humility and Caution is every-where to be practis'd such speedy Repentance requir'd after every fall with thankfulness and contentment in every State under all Calamities be they never so many or never so pinching and perseverance herein absolutely necessary though never so many Stratagems be used to discourage me from proceeding or to entice me to go back or turn aside to some other Path insomuch that if God had not promised me his continued Presence and that his Grace shall be sufficient for me and that I shall not be tempted above what I am able to bear I should utterly despair of making good what I now resolve But besides these Promises to encourage my Resolved Obedience he hath left upon Record in his Word many glorious Examples of his assisting and rewarding the Courage and Resolution of his Servants to continue faithful as in the case of Joseph Daniel and his Three Friends c. If Christ stand
learn'd in some measure what Sin is by the sorrows and anguish of an Hearty Repentance now I have discovered so much of the Snares and Devices of Satan whereby I have formerly been betraid now I am sensible of the dangerous and powerful influence and infection of bad Company the Treachery of fleshly Lusts the bewitching Temptations of the World and have tasted a little by my own Experience of the Pleasantness of Wisdom's Paths the Peace and Satisfaction of Devotedness to God by the present Rewards of a calm Conscience the communications of Divine Grace and the Encouragement of an Holy Hope c. and am persuaded of the Stability of his Word and the Certainty of Eternal Life to all who continue in well-doing shall I after all this ever break with God again Shall I ever cancel this Engagement violate this my Vow and falsifie so many repeated Promises and Resolutions Oh that his Power may rest upon me and his Grace work in me both to will and to do that this God may be my God for ever and my Guide unto Death Let me never reassume this Gift and Surrender of my self or defraud God of his Right and Propriety His I am and Him I will serve living wholly to Him using all I have for him being willing he should do what he list with his own and consequently dispose of me and of all that any way belongs to me as shall seem Good in his Eyes I am Thine O Lord save me Command me my work appoint me my Duty direct my Station order my Condition Let me be Thine tho imployed in the meanest service and the most laborious self-denying work Tho I should be but a Doorkeeper in thine House an Hewer of Wood or a Drawer of water Tho I must pinch the flesh and swim against the Tide and renounce what before I valued yet This God shall be my God for ever By this means when I come to Dye if God should add more years to the little number I have past besides this I have now begun I may be able to say with Upright Hezekiah Remember Lord how I have walked before Thee in mine Integrity That in the face of Death and the Grave in the view of another World and the near prospect of Eternity I may be able to Rejoyce in Hope and Say Lord Jesus Receive my Spirit Thou art my Saviour and I have waited for thy Salvation I have sought Thee with my whole Heart I have chosen thy Favour rather than Worldly Grandeur and Prosperity I have prized thy Love and endeavour'd to obey Thee as the best Expression of my own tho with many Imperfections which I bewail I have delighted more in thy Service and Presence than in the Pleasures of Sin and vanity thy Testimonies have been the Joy of my Heart I took no delight in the Company of the ungodly after I was devoted to Thee O let me not have my Portion with them in the other World Fortifie me now against the King of Terrors strengthen me in this my last Conflict enable me to triumph over Death by the Cross of Christ my victorious Redeemer and carry me through the dark valley at the divorce of Soul and Body and grant me an abundant entrance into thine heavenly Kingdom Let me be numbred among thy Chosen and my Body wait in Hope 'till the general Resurrection that I may then see thy Glory and dwell with Thee for ever I gave up my self to Thee and do not Repent my Choice acknowledg me now for Thine and do not lose that which is thy own Lord Jesus Thou hast paid my Ransom to deliver me from Satan and from Eternal Wrath oh do not now reject me and cast me off Is it not thine Office and Covenant to save those that Trust in thee Oh remembr thy Word unto thy Servant wherein thou hast caused me to Hope when I ventur'd my Salvation on thy Promise and trusted to thy Gracious Word for Eternal Life Thy Love hath already overcome the greatest impediments of my Salvation 'T is as easie now to receive me as to Love me Thou hast prepared Glory for thy Redeemed ones and hast bid me believingly to follow thee and wait for thy Salvation Thou hast begotten me to a lively hope by the Incorruptible Seed of the Word Let me not now be depriv'd of the Inheritance Can that Love that pitied me in my Blood and fetcht me from the Gates of Hell now suffer me to fall into it Oh Crown thy Grace and perfect thy Preparatory Mercy with Everlasting Mercy By voluntary Consent and Choice thou art my God and thy Presence in Heaven my ultimate Felicity I have trusted to thy Gracious Promise to prepare me for it and bring me to it O fulfil thy Word unto thy Servant wherein thou hast caused me to hope and mercifully receive my departing Soul that seeks Thee that loves Thee that breathes after Thee and desires nothing but to know Thee better and love Thee more and be more entirely conform'd to thine Image and live always in thy Blessed Presence Thou hast called me out of the World plac'd thine Image upon me enabled me to make it my Business though with many Imperfections to serve and please and honour Thee Oh Receive me to the fulness of thy Love and Grace and present me faultless before the Presence of thy Glory with exceeding Joy. Amen Holy Father be it unto me according to thy Word through the Merits and Intercession of my Alsufficient Saviour Jesus Christ the Faithful and True Witness in whom all thy Promises are Yea and Amen XXX Thanksgiving to God for his Innumerable Benefits and Mercies particularly in the Year Past with some Direction and Advice concerning it HOW precious and delightful are the Thoughts of thy Benefits O Lord how great is the sum of them Should I count them they are more in number than the Stars Shall I not observe and consider them maintain a grateful sense of them and publickly acknowledg them on all occasions that I may Bless the Lord at all Times and his Praise be continually in my mouth More especially should I conclude and begin the Year with solemn Praises to my Great Benefactor and Preserver I ought to begin and close every Day with it thereby to make the outgoings of the Morning and the Evening to rejoice in God. Every Year every Day every Hour every Moment offers me an occasion to praise Him because he is every minute gracious and hath been so ever since he gave me my Being Almost one half of my Time hath been spent in Sleep when I remember not God nor my self yet doth He who never slumbers or sleeps remember me in Mercy and watch over me for good Yea though in the other half by Day I have forgotten him in a worse sense by casting off his Fear and not remembring that his Holy Eye is upon me yet hath he not forgotten to be Gracious Therefore I will praise the name
Time and so let me esteem and seek and choose and do every thing in the first place which then I shall wish I had Let me do nothing now which I verily believe I shall then be ashamed or sorry to reflect on that by thinking what a condition I shall then wish to have my Soul in I may now provide my self much better than I have done hitherto That while I am in the greatest probability of living I may suppose my change to be near and so not dare to do any thing but what I would or might do if I were in the present expectation of death To this end let me go down to the Potters house descend to the consideration of my Mortality and dwell among the Tombs remembring the Aegytians built themselves better Tombs than Houses because they were to dwell longer in them Let every Nights repose serve me as a memorial of my last sleep and let my Bed stand for the model of my Coffin This is the only way to be dead to this World to be able to judge of things now as we shall do after Death according to immutable Eternal Truth X. The Brevity of Life considered as the fruit of Sin. There are but three ways of leaving this World as Abel Adam or Enoch A diligent improvement of Time farther prest and the neglect of it bewailed THE shortning of our Days is the fruit of Sin. All the Funerals that have ever been in the World have been caused by Sin. We dye because we have sinned and yet we should not sin as now if this were not forgot that we must dye From the first Transgression of Adam we derive our death and therefore some of his Posterity lived longer than he Which proves that the lengthning of our Days is the peculiar Gift of God and yet 't is such a Gift as was more desired formerly than since the appearance of Christ for we read of none in the New Testament since Life and Immortality is brought to light by the Gospel who desired a long continuance here on Earth Were we delivered from Sin the sting of Death by having made our Peace with God in the Blood of Jesus Death would not be frightful or put on such a ghastly Vizor as to most it doth But we are uncertain of our Justification we waver between hopes and fears as to our final Sentence and are conscious to our selves that we are not ready for our great Account This makes Death so terrible Considering with all that it is inevitable the way of all the Living For tho' the curse be removed and the sting be taken out by our B. Saviour so that the Souls of Believers are safe and shall not be toucht by the second Death yet God hath not taken away the stroke of it from the Body Tho' a Christian is assured of deliverance from Hell he is not exempted from the Grave as his passage to Heaven Prepare me Lord by the free Remission of all my Sins and make me meet for the Blessed Inheritance by sanctifying Grace and then thy Time is best Thy holy Will be done No matter then whether my Death be violent or what we call Natural It will be one of the two for I can't expect to be Translated by a miraculous change as Holy Enoch was and as they shall be who shall be found alive in the World when our Glorious Judge shall come again There are but those three ways of leaving Earth and the Three first Men of whose departure we read in Scripture are Instances of all Three Abel of a violent Death Adam of a natural one and Enoch of a Translation The variety and order of their Departure as one observes is very admirable and deserves to be considered For all Mankind must follow one or other of those three Examples Every Man or Woman that is born into the World must leave it by one of those three ways Either be cut off by a violent Death as Abel the first Man who dyed or dye a natural death as Adam did who was the second or be translated as Enoch who was the Third we read of But tho' I know that within a few years at farthest I must leave this World by one or other of these ways tho' I have been dying ever since I began to live am Dead to the last year and to all the preceding Portions of my Time and know withal that what remains will quickly pass and be gone after the same manner yet how have I overloved this Body as if I should never live out of it and set my Heart and Affections on this World as if I should never remove to another and trifled away my precious Time and Life as if a change would never come That few do seriously admit such thoughts is too evident by the general course and practice of their Lives For to what hazards do Men expose themselves what pains will they take what Inconveniences will they bear with what unwearied Industry will they toyl and labour to get a little Money or Honour in this World tho' they know not but they may be called out of it before the end of this Year And yet the same Persons are remiss and slothful about a future Life negligent and unconcerned about an Eternal state careless and indifferent yea sottishly stupid about the welfare of their Immortal Souls Henceforward O my Soul whatever other others do let me resolve to live in the expectation of a Change which I know is certain and may be very near XI Of the Expectation of Another Life The Vanity and Misery of Man in his Best Estate if there be none The satisfactory removal of that supposition by the Thoughts of God and of Eternal Felicity in his Blessed Presence LET me retire a little O my Soul and bethink my self what a World this is what Men design and seek and do and suffer with what false and feigned Joys they are pleased being only happy by comparison and with what real Sorrows they are afflicted what innumerable disappointments sicknesses and as troublesome remedies dangers labors pains and calamities of all sorts Multitudes groan under and loudly complain of and what little unworthy ends are pursued by all that do not seriously seek Eternal Rest and how often frustrated And withal consider the Cares that disquiet us the errors that deceive us the many Temptations that assault and overcome us how busie we are about Vanities how often dejected and melancholy for the breaking of a Bubble how eager and industrious to pursue a Shadow active and in earnest to destroy our selves and one another and then reflect on the Malice and cruelty the Filthiness and Impiety and great Corruption which abounds every where whereby God is dishonoured and provokt to Anger After this what a Theater of Tragedies must this World appear what an Hospital of sick and diseased or rather distracted Persons How should I be tempted to say Lord why hast thou made all Men in
God and wait upon him Let me resolve never to choose a new Lord or Master Or take up with any Portion beneath God himself or any way of Hope or Salvation but by J. Christ my only Saviour neither let me forsake the way of Faith and Holiness for all the hopes and Happiness of this World if put to my choice But be always able to say Blessed be God I now can that I will return to my former Husband for then it was better with me than now I had peace and refreshment in my former ways I will return to them Lord forsake me not utterly Keep not thine Anger for ever Cast me not away from thy presence and take not thy H. Spirit from me Restore unto me the Joy of thy Salvation that my Heart may be inlarged to praise thy name and to run the way of thy Commandments XXVI Confession of Sin Humiliation and Repentance must follow upon Self-Examination Advice concerning Repentance of some particular Backsliding The great Perplexity and Distress of a Penitent Sinner represented as a Caution against returning to Folly. THat we may turn unto the Lord is the end of searching and trying our Ways Lord I have been searching my Heart and considering my ways but can find little or no good neither can I discover all that is evil in both But I find enough to make my own Heart condemn me and Thou who art greater than my Heart and knowest all things maist much more condemn me I am altogether unclean polluted and abominable If I go about to enumerate the Sins of my Thoughts Words and Actions in all the periods of my Life hitherto if I consider my Omissions of Duty and dayly Crimes by actual Commission if I reflect upon my Sins according to their respective Object as either against Thee O God and against my Neighbour and against my own Soul or Body and compare my Heart and Life with thy strict and holy Law and think in how many Instances I have transgrest every of thy Righteous Commandments I find they are more than the hairs on my head they cannot be number'd Who can tell how oft he hath offended Many of my sins make little Impression on my Memory I observe them not I remember them not but this hinders not but they may make deep Impression on my Conscience which will one day be awake and set them in order before me and they are all written in thy Book of Remembrance in order to my final Judgment All my sins are before thee but thou requirest my humble Confession of them in order to Repentance and as a part thereof that I freely acknowledg their hainous aggravations to shame and humble my self the more before thee whom I have offended and provok'd How long did I serve divers Lusts and Pleasures with the neglect and forgetfulness of God How sad a prospect may I take of the far greatest part of my Life past Especially of my younger years which have been trifl'd away in vanity and folly And since I have known the way of Truth how shamefully have I prevaricated with God I am confounded to consider how often I have despised the Commandment and rebelled against the Light against the Principles of Education and the checks of Conscience frequent warnings from God and reproofs from Others contrary to my Profession and Experience contrary to the obligation of peculiar Mercies solemn Promises Resolutions and Engagements and a nearer Relation to God than many others Which sins have more dishonor'd my Lord discredited his H. Gospel gratifi'd the Devil scandaliz'd the world and strengthen'd the hands of the ungodly than the sins of others And alas How much of my precious Time is thus gone which if duely improv'd would now afford me comfort to review How much Guilt have I contracted every Year particularly in this last I now begin another which will soon be gone as that which was concluded yesterday And shall I only advance in Age to increase the number of my sins and heighten my Account against the Day of Reckoning In Temporal and Civil Affairs Day unto Day uttereth knowledg ond Night unto Night teacheth Wisdom We are Taught by Experience many useful Lessons which we should not else have learnt to reform many Errors and mistakes to correct many rash and foolish Actions and Speeches c. And shall I not learn wisdom by the Experience of another year in what concerns my greatest my Eternal Interest Shall not the reflection on my past sins prevent my Commission of the like Especially considering how my sins are aggravated by every Mercy I have received by every Affliction I have undergone every awakening Sermon I have heard every motion of God's Spirit and every check of my own Conscience that I have resisted every offer of his Grace every warning of his Providence every invitation and call of his Word every purpose to Repent and every resolution I have made to forsake sin The greater knowledg I have had of my danger the longer time I have deliberated about it the oftner I have confess'd my sin and been sorry for it every reproof I have had from others and every promise I have made my self doth aggravate and encrease my Guilt How many Years hath God vouchsafed me to work out my Salvation but how little have I done towards it Had I died this last year how unprepar'd must I have made my Appearance before his Tribunal What opportunities of doing and receiving good have I let slip Have I not made it more my business to seem Religious than really to be so How much of the Patience of God have I abus'd refusing his calls to Repentance resisting the strivings of his Spirit smothering my Convictions and turning the Grace of God into wantonness Instead of returning gratitude for all his Love I have repeated my Transgressions after Forgiveness and gone in a circle of Repenting and Sinning even to this day Lord I am asham'd and lay my self in the dust before thee To me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of Face If God should condemn and punish me as a Rebel and a Traytor and give me the Portion of Hypocrites I cannot but own his Justice even in Hell I must do it with my flaming Tongue and Breath O Spare me for thy mercies sake Enter not into Judgment with thy servant for in thy sight shall no flesh living be justified if Thou lay Judgment to the Line and Equity to the Plummet Give me Repentance unto life never to be repented of never to be retracted again Bring me to the Blood of Jesus which cleanseth from all sin Behold the sighings of a contrite Spirit For I acknowledg my Transgressions unto thee against whom I have sinned O Lord forgive the Iniquity of my Sin. I am unworthy to lift up my Hands and Eyes towards Heaven unworthy to be called thy Son or thy Servant I am vile in mine own eyes because I have made my self vile in thine For this I
am troubled and mourn and my Soul is grieved within me O thou Heavenly Physician of Souls from thy Pity alone I expect my cure I am miserable and undone without thy Compassion and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace I must perish and sink under the burden of Sin if thy merciful hand do not save me and lift me up I am intangled and insnar'd by the Devil and my Lusts and without thy Succour can never hope to get free O Lord forgive my Sin and heal my Soul Deliver and save me for thy Mercies sake May I not yet hope in thy Mercy Thou hast mercifully born with me hitherto thou callest me to repent thou commandest me to return and promisest to forgive those Sins which are confessed and forsaken O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee I abhor my self in dust and ashes for my past Iniquities But alas such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance how much more may God despise and reject it But hast thou not given thy Blessed Son to dye for Sinners and exalted him to this very end to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins And by the word of thy Grace thou beseechest all even the Greatest Sinners to accept of mercy and art more willing to pardon than we can be to Repent 'T is thy Delight and Glory agreeable to thy Nature and declared Name as a God gracious and merciful slow to Anger and of great Kindness forgiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin. O Pardon mine Iniquity for it is great and receive an humble Penitent who implores thy Grace according to the Tenor of thy new Covenant flying to the arms of thy Mercy through the merits of Jesus Christ who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him Lord hear my Prayer and let not the mixture of my weaknesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin but graciously vouchsafe to look upon a returning Prodigal and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness that my sorrowful Heart may be comforted and my life be directed to thy Praise Lead me into the path of life that I may no longer err from the way of thy Commandments Teach me to do thy Will O God and write thy Law upon my Heart that I may never more return to Folly. I am convinc't of the Evil of Sin of thy Right to govern me of the Equity and Justice of thy Law of the sweetness and rewards of keeping thy precepts O sanctifie my Heart and make me Sound in thy Statutes that I may hate every false way and be devoted to thy Fear the remainder of my Life If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness which through the power of Temtation and the deceitfulness of Sin you have fallen into that hath wasted Conscience and rob'd you of your Peace and provok't God to write bitter things against you be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Backsliding Confess it freely with its aggravations Consider whether it was not after some special manifestation of God's Love after some special warning some strong Conviction under or soon after some great Affliction from God or some more than ordinary kindness of his Providence c. And impress such Thoughts to humble your self the lower search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy such as the abatement of your Watchfulness the neglect of serious closet Devotion making bold with Temptation too great compliance with vain Company venturing too far in lawful or indifferent Things toò much Confidence in your own Wisdom Strength and stedfastness not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin or avoiding the fuel incentives and occasions of it c. Palliate and disguise nothing that may make your sin exceeding sinful lest by some little Art of the Devil you deceive your self by an half-Repentance and the Evil Spirit you think to be cast out return again with seven worse than himself and so your latter end be worse than your Beginning For if the sin be not truly hated but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes it will quickly flame out again when it meets with combustible matter and a strong blast of Temptation But if you are griev'd to the very Heart and abhor the Sin and resolve to quit it you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you to Mercy His Spirit is yet striving with you if you are willing to Repent and return to God. He sought you and call'd you to return when you were wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way and can you think he will not be found of you if you seek him with your whole Heart Therefore renew your Repentance and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility Holy Fear and Watchfulness And every morning implore Divine succours against that Sin and all Temptations to it Which as much as possible you must avoid Constant and fervent Prayer after Repentance must be your refuge and your Remedy If you let fall your hands this Amalek will prevail again As soon and as far as you fail in the constancy and fervency of that Duty your Sin will get strength and successfully attempt you another Time. But by this practise God may turn Evil to work for Good make you gain by your loss stand the faster by your Falls and become stronger by the discovery of your weakness and so be better establisht for the future But take heed that you pervert not the Grace of God and encourage your self to sin again by the supposition that if you should Fall 't is but to Repent and renew your Resolutions and all will be well This is a subtle Artifice of Satan but such methinks as should take with none who have ever known by Experience what it is to Repent Who have felt the burden of Sin to be heavier than a Millstone than Luke 23. c. 30. 17. c. 2. the weight of a Mountain Who have tasted how evil and bitter a thing it is to depart from God. Who have loathed and abhorr'd themselves with deep Remorse and Sorrow and Anguish of Spirit wishing with all their Hearts that they had not sinn'd and if it were in their power would give all the world to retrieve it and would rather dye than commit that Folly again they then repented of Let those who have not their own Experience to confirm this read over and consider the case of David when he wrote the Penitential Psalms How many like him have roar'd and cried out under the sense of sin of stings and furies in their Conscience of the poison'd Arrows in their Souls and his Terrors surrounding them whereever they went from the sense of sins Malignity the apprehensions of God's Anger and the consequent Fears of his Wrath. Serious Repentance after great Transgressions is