evil but as he was Israel so his Days were many and good He had two Names Jacob and Israel Genesis 49.1 2. both given him from his Wrestling the farmer Name was given him for wrestling with his Brother for the Birth-right in the Womb wherein he Miscarried but the latter for his Wrestling with his God for the Blessing at Penuel wherein his Valour through Divine Condescension obtain'd the Victory When the Messiah saw Jacob's undaunted Courage in resolutely detaining him Asks him his Name Gen. 32.24 26 27. As if he should say Thou art such a Fellow as I never met with who though thou be lamed and laid Hard at yet wilt not let me go without my Blessing Thou hast let thy Flocks go and thy Herds go Thou hast let thy Wives go and thy Children go yet thou wilt not let me go nor my Blessing go I will not let thee go except thou Bless me saith Jacob v. 26. Hereupon He Honours Him as it were with the Honour of Knighthood saying to him Kneel down Jacob Rise up Israel for as a Prince thou hast had Power with God and with Men and hast prevailed Gen. 32.28 Hos 12.3 4. Now Jacob is a Name of Weakness the poor Worm Jacob Isa 41.14 Trampled upon and trodden under foot This Afflicted State made Jacob sigh out those Sad Words All these things are against me Gen. 42.36 and those of my Text also Few and Evil have the Days of the Years of my Life been But so far as he had Princely Power as Israel signifies both with God and with Men In this Sence his Days were many and good One Day with God is a Thousand elsewhere VSE Hence learn we the Reason why the Church is called Jacob through out the Scriptures when Speech is of her Weakness and Calamity But she is frequently call'd Israel to signifie her Splendour and Glory and as it is thus with the Church of God in General so it is with the Children of God in Particular Some times they are run down with strange Temptations and with strong Tribulations then are they the poor Worm Jocob Isa 41.14 The Shulamite found two Armies Warring in her The Army of the Flesh and the Army of the Spirit Cant. 6.13 When the Army of the Flesh or Amalek prevaileth as Exod. 17.11 then the Seed of Jocob droops but when they are made strong in their Weakness 2 Cor. 12.9 Strengthned with all Might Col. 1.11 and made able through the Supplies of Christ's Spirit Phil. 1.19 to Tread down Strength as Judg. 5.21 even the strongest Temptation without then are they called the Israel of God Gal. 6.16 for their Prince-like prevailing over Flesh World and Devil III. Observation From the Circumstances of the Text. The Third Observation ariseth from the Conjunction of these two Parts This Question and the Answer to it which is 'T is a Duty Incumbent upon all Mankind to be Asking and Answering How the Days of the Years of their Lives do pass away It was Moses's Prayer Lord teach us to number our Days that we may apply our Hearts unto Wisdom Psalâ— 90.12 In which Psalm it being â— Meditation of Man's Mortality corresponding with my Text therefore Mark 1. Moses mentions the Brevity and Uncertainty of Man's Life comparing it to a Watch v. 4. which is but the fourth part of a Night Mark 13.35 Then he goes on and compares it to a Sleep to a Dream all vanishing things and to a Tale that is soon told and is as soon forgotten lastly to Grass which we well know if it be not cut down in Summer or Autumn doth wither in Winter So such Mortals as are not cut down with the Sithe of Death in their Youth do yet wither away in the Winter of Old Age. Quid est Vita nisi quidam Cursus ad Mortem said the Ancient Father Life is nothing but a Posting to Death The 2d Occurrence in this Meditation of Moses upon Man's Morality is his assigning the proper procuring Cause of this Humane Miseâ—y to wit Divine Displeasure â—gainst Sin which causeth God to â—urn Man to Destruction ver 7 8. Man at the first was made Immortal he had then an Immortal Body a Suitable Companion for his Immortal Soul These two Sweet Associates had never been severed each from other if Man had not sinned against his Maker Had Adam stood on his State of Innocency He should then have rendred to the Lord a time of perfect Obedience and Service here upon Earth and when that Homage to his Great Landlord had been accomplish'd he should then have been Translated from Earth without the least taste of Death to Heaven the Soul should never have been separated from the Body as now it is for the Wages of Sin is Death Rom. 6.23 It was that one Man's Offence that pulled up the Sluce and let in Death as a Deluge with a Regal Authority over all the World Rom. 5.14 to 17. and Sin did not only let in Death but also all sorts of Sicknesses Sorrows and Sufferings that are Forerunners of it Then 3ly Moses Condemns Mans Dulness in taking no more notice of this Divine Displeasure ver 11. All other Creatures know their Times and their Seasons Jerem. 8.7 but Man knoweth not the Day of his Visitation till He come to be Snared in an Evil Net c. Eccles 9.12 Though Man's Life be a Life full of all Inconveniencies of Indignities of Injuries of Infirmities and of Iniquities also yet such is the Stupidity of the Fall'n Nature that Man puts the Thoughts of these things far from him Amos 6.3 Fourthly Hereupon Moses begs God for Illuminating Grace wherewith to make a more Distinct Discovery of all Humane Frailty Lord teach w to number our Days c. ver 12. And the Sweet-Singer of Israel David will be of the same Chorus with Moses sighing as well as singing out these Synonimical Sentences Lord make me â—o know my end and the Measure of my Days what it is That I may know how frail I am c. Psal 39.4 5. Thus likewise Jacob in my Text carries on the like Concord and Consort to compleat the Harmony complaining here Few and evil have the Days of the Years of my Life been c. Adding only this one Note of Discord for making better Musick that God had taught him this great Truth concerning his own Frailty He had seen it for time past and He would be sensible of it for time to come his Days had been few and Evil Now they might be fewer and worse seeing He and all his were famished out of Canaan the Land of Promise into Egypt the place where his Posterity would be evilly intreated Gen. 15.13 VSE Moses teacheth us what use to make of the knowledge of our own Frailty It should strongly stir us up to an earnest imploring of Divine Mercy He maketh a loud Out cry after Mercy Crying Return O Lord How long c. Oh satisfie us early with thy Mercy
what we came for I went to him and told him methought that my Soul loved him and I was come to meet him for strength against corruption and by his help I could forsake the world and sin which I hated to enjoy him c. then he told me my pride should not prevail against me this month nor my other sins but by own neglect This was sweet and refreshing to my Soul and this was the occasion of the Devils great rage against me as appears by my Diary March 14. yet could he not prevail but Christ kept his promise in keeping me from pride c. Oh what cause have I to love the Lord Jesus whom I saw here again coming from Heaven to Earth to the Cross to the Grave and to Heaven again and all this to save my Soul here sin was made more odious Christ more dear and here I renewed my Covenant with God c. The Ninth Sacrament was April the 2d 1682. upon which he says thus Some Time before this I was in a dull frame by the hurries of our Trade at this time as may be seen by my diary little life could I find till the noon before that day then had I the presence of my Dear Lord in a lively manner and measure after this wandring thoughts dulness and coldness unsuitable to so sweet a supper seized upon me but by running over again the same circumstances of my Saviours sufferings especially his Agony in the Garden and all for such a wretch as me I found relief got hatred of my sins begged pardon of them And not only so but got power against them yet wandring thoughts 4 or 5 times did trouble me but by Christs strengthening me I overcame them and hoped to have my pardon sealed and to have power for the future for watching better against them and against my deadness and breaking my Covenant c. which made me long to quit the World whereupon it was answered me I should shortly be freed from all sin yet in this Sacrament I had the least communion with God than in any before but still much more infinitely more than I deserved who sure I am deserves not the least mercy The Tenth Sacrament was May 7. 1682. upon which he writes thus I had not longing desires after this Blessed Ordinance having lost much of my life I had in duty before through much hurries of our worldly affairs This morning I wrestled with God but had not the light of his countenance which made me think of not going yet considering that was not the way to be better I ventured but found no life at first yet a little after I felt some reaching after my Dear Redemer this made me resolve to walk more closely for the future after this it pleased God to come in out of his free love and to give me a clear sight of my sweet Saviours going to his Cross and I following him and laying my self down at his feet when I could do nothing Then had I plain visions of my lovely Lords ascensions and his Angels looking upon him whereat I found much goings out of my Soul after him yet wandring thoughts did trouble me for I had not brought my breaking Covenant my Dulness and Deadness before the Lord so as to be deeply humbled for them The Eleventh Sacrament was June 4 1682. Vpon which he He remarks thus I having no time was very bad in my preparations for this blessed Sacrament so doubted whether I should go to it but fearing it might be the last I should injoy in peace I then went yet it prov'd the worst I ever yet had I hardly felt any movings of affections only a little mourning for my breach of Covenant my coldness and deadness c. Had a little sight of my Dearest Redeemer but O my misery for not keeping my ingagement made in the foregoing Ordinance whereby I feared the Holy Spirit was greived and sinned away O sad sad lamentable deplorable was my state when I had sinned my God from me My condition was wretched now and without more care it may yet be much worse The Twelfth Sacrament was on July 2d 1682. whereupon he notes thus I was but little in preparation in order to my participation of this Holy Ordinance yet much more than on the last on Fryday morning before I had much of Gods presence but because I had not taken a Catalogue of my sins and had broke my vows with God 't is just with him to hide his face from me and O my deadly sin got again too much advantage against me yet praised be the free Grace of my God I had his presence in this Ordinance and saw my Dear Redeemer going along bearing his heavy Cross and his suffering thereupon and when his side was pierced methought I stood under and his precious blood did drop down upon me but still I was too little grieved for sin and had 3. times wandrings which through Grace passed away as the Wine went down I desired my sins might be purged away and renewed my resolve of walking better both before and in this Sacrament designing to shelter my Soul in the holes of his blessed Side that was â—ierced as the Dove doth in the holes of the Rock The Thirteenth Sacrament was August 6. 1682. On which he records thus The hurries of the World had made menegligent before it yet did I try my self by my catalogue of sins drawn up in February before such as pride whereof I had a great deal breach of Covenant whereof I was greatly guilty Wandrings Dullness in Duty c. and then another great one the neglect of self tryal after my vows renewed Covenant to do it after Sacraments wherein I had found much sweetness I could not still call my self to a strict account nor actuate my repentance as becomes a worthy receiver though my sins were many and great At my first sitting down I had but little sense of sin but after God showed me something of himself then had I some sorrow of Soul and something of my dear Lord but once God seemed to come out in fury towards me yet methought I saw my Dear Redeemer stop it Here again I lay under the Cross to be washed from my sins and did see as before Christ coming from Heaven to Earth to hiâ— Cross and to his Grave and from thence into Glory this I viewed with a little oh too little life then the Devil tempted me to make no new engagement of reformation but the Lord helped me and I harkned not to the Tempter About 4. times wandrings came but through grace they continued not yet had I smal actings of love and out-goings of Soul after my God and my Dear Redeemer The Fourteenth Sacrament was September 3. 1682. On which he observes thus I had but little of God some time before this till Saturday night Though I had been much in preparation yet my God came not in till then and indeed I
till she reach her desired Harbour or Haven Mark also the Congruity in sundry Particulars betwixt Man's Passage through this Life and a Ships passing through the Sea The First Congruity is as a Ships Bulk being built just after the manner of Man's Body in a Supine posture the Bottom-Tree answering our Back-Bone which hath many Ribs rising up on both sides c. is made for Motion not Rest Hence the Ignorant Indians call'd the first ships they beheld Moving Islands All ships are made for launching out into the Deep Waters Psal 107.23 24. And when heaved from off the Stocks where they are built in order to their passing down into the Deep have a peculiar Name as the Good-Speed the Adventure c. put upon them Even so it is with the poor Isle of Man so called he upon his first Launching forth from his Mothers Womb into a Sea of misery hath some significant Name put upon him with many hearty wishes from Parents and Relations sent after him both for his Safety and Success Secondly No sooner is the Ship Launched out into the Main Ocean but she meets with contarry Winds raging Waves dreadful Storms c. as before so that she is never safe or quiet till she reach her Rest in her desired Haven Psal 107.30 Thus it is with Man while in this lower World the place of Pyracy Job 7.1 ut supra He is assaulted with many Pyrates who hang out false Colours to decoy him within the Command of their Cannons He is Afflicted tossed with Tempests and not Comforted Isa 54.11 This present evil World is a very Shop fully furnished with All Tempting Tools and the life of man is but as one Temptation continued from First to Last 'T is a life made up all of Temptation Man is ever under either Visible or Invisible Dangers He passeth through Perils in Perils often as Paul 2 Cor. 11.26 every moment untill he Reach to that Everlasting Rest in a Desired Haven Heb. 4.9 Revel 14.13 The Third Congruity is A Ship is not only made for Motion but for Swift Motion Hence Job phraseth it My days pass away as the Swift Ships Hebr. Ships of Ebeck which may be read Ships of desire whether they be Ships of Pleasure or Yatches which are Built Frigat-wise for Sayling Swiftly Or they be Ships of Pyracy as Mendoza reads it saying Naves Piraticae mercibus Vacuae quam velocissime Rapiuntur Plundering and Pilfering Privateers being empty of Burdens make the most speedy way in Plowing through the Waters especially when they have both Wind and Tide with them to promote their Progress Thus it is with poor mortal Man who is a rowling tumbling thing like a Ship hopping from Hill to Mountain and meeting with no Resting Place Jer. 50.6 He reels to and fro as if drunk like the Marriners in a tossed Ship Psal 107.26 27. Yea and many mens motions to Hell are as swift Ships making great haste thither Prov. 1.16 Isa 59.7 Rom. 3.15 mans life is swift of it self but it runs most swiftly when the wind of Temptation and the tide of Corruption concurr to carry it forward c. Oh would to God the motions of your minds made as much expedition towards Heaven as wicked men do towards Hell All men are Ships of Desire both good and bad All are Home-bound to one of those ports and never do the winds so much fill the Sails of such and such a Ship as Desires do fill the minds of the Mariners to be at such and such a Desired Haven 'T is true the worst of wicked men do not Desire Hell yet though they do not desire that end they have strong desires towards the way to that end how ought every gracious soul to pray for the fresh gales of Gods Spirit John 3.8 and to cry with the Spouse in the Song Awake O Northwind and come thou Southwind blow upon me c. Cant. 4.16 a Godly Person hath with Paul his Cupio Dissollvi a desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Phil. 1.23 O how should we all with the penitent prodigal Hasten home to our Fathers House c. Luke 15.17 18 20. Heaven is our home 2 Cor. 5. from 1. to 7. 't is our Desired Haven Psal 107.30 even everlasting happiness Fourthly the Fourth paraphrase upon Jobs phrase that mans life is like a Ship followeth that as a Ship leaves no visible tract behind her so life passeth unto death and the memory of it is forgotten Solomon saith the way of a Ship in the midst of the Sea cannot be tracked Prov. 30.19 for though she make deep furrows in her passage all along ye◠do they immediately close up again and the same Solomon saith of men yea of great men that carry a great figure in their place and be of a Ruffling grandeur in the world when once Dead the memory of them wears out of the mind Eccles. 8.10 and 9.5 Thus Aegypt forgat Joseph Exod. 1.18 and Israel Gideon Judg. 8.34 35. Yea men Friends and Familiars remember the dead no more Thus likewise some understand that phrase in Dan. 8.5 The he goat toucheth not the ground in this sence that it imports not only the speed and expedition of Alexanders prodigious conquests but also that in ā short time no man would know what was become either of that great conqueror or of any of his vast Conquests there would be no print of any their footsteps left behind they would no more be found than the way of a ship in the midst of the Sea Yet O how good it is to be a godly person for the Righteous shall be had in Everlasting Remembrance Psal 112.6 the memory of the just full be blessed Prov. 10.7 they shall be mentioned with much veneration after death even by those that spared not to Reproach them in their life their very name shall be honourable and acceptable to God and men whereas the name of the wicked rotteth and stinks above ground Prov. 10.7 Fifthly and lastly a Ship never rests till she come into her desired Heaven so mans life stays no where till it comes to its long rest and that is a blessed rest to those that dye in the Lord Revel 14.13 that fall asleep in Jesus 1 Thes 4.14 God takes a way their Souls out of their bodies as it were by a Kiss thus Rabins read that phrase Gnal pi Jehovah Deut. 34.5 at the mouth of the Lord Moses dyed not as we according to the words of the Lord As if God had taken away his Soul with a kiss of his mouth such a kiss of love as the Spouse prayed for from the mouth of Christ Cant 1.2 when this is done what follows after but rest from labours 1 from Labours of necessity 2 from labours of Infirmity and 3 from labours of Iniquity 1. They Rest from the first to wit the Necessary yet toilsom◠Labours of this Life they take no more thought Propoter Victum Amictum what they
Word with him for his Promise is but with the Silver of this life but his Payment is with the Gold of a Better Life Solon said 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 whom God Loves Dye Young He 's taken away from the Evil to come 2 Kings 22.20 Isa 57.1 He hath lived long enough that can say not I have Married my Children to good Husbands as Worldlings say but I have Married my precious Soul to the Blessed Bridegroom This was his Joy yet could be Content to pass out of the midst of this Joy on Earth to possess a Better and Greater iâ— Heaven And O that we may enter into our Masters Joy as he hath done As a Post that hath delivered his Pacquet to God a Ship that is laid up in the Haven of Heaven an Eagle now feeding on the Carcass of Christ FINIS A Brief Relation of the First Conversion and after that of the whole Conversation of that precious Young Man Mr. John Draper drawn out of his Experiences Exercises Examinations of Himself and his Evidences for Heaven all writ with his own hand in Characters c. CHAP. I. HAving diligently perused what a prodigious account he gives of himself with â—is own Hand-writing I could not but stand astonished that one so young and a servant too and who had so much business on Earth in his Masters service should redeem so much time to make Religion his business in serving his great Master Christ and in securing Heaven for his Soul Though it seems almost incredible yet it is most certainly true that he Mellowed much and Ripened fast for Abrahams Bosom as appears by the Sequel This Holy Young Man may be a very eminent Patern of Piety to Old as well as Young Men in a fourfold respect 1. for his Experiences 2. for his Exercises 3. for his Self-Examinations and 4. for his Excellent Characters and Evidences of his Interest in a better World All which I find very strenuously stated in his own Hand-writing though in Characters yet by the help of a Key is made both legible and intelligible and now published for publick good I. For his Experiences they fall under a twofold head the former relates to his first Conversion and the latter to his whole Conversation His Conversion I understand was effectually wrought notwithstanding his strict and Religious Education and former convictions hereafter mentioned c. by a Sermon preached from Matth. 5.25 26. Agree with thy Adversary quickly while thou art in the way c. About December the 8th 1678. From whence He learned those blessed truths following and not only had them fixed upon his Heart and sealed upon his Soul but also I find his own Soul fixed in wax upon them to express the great Veneration of them for their being so Ravishing and Refreshing in the Hand of Christ to his Spirit The Great Truths that had an abiding work upon his heart when this Time of Love came upon him were these I. That God and Man are at variance through sin they are at a distance II. 'T is mans wisdom to make his peace with God his Adversary III. This must be done quickly while Man is in his way before he be brought to the Judges House by death c. IV. There is great danger in delaying or deferring this agreement but sinners should take up with God before it be too late c. V. That God hath an Action of Debt for which to arrest every sinner c. VI. This Debt of sin is strangely circumstanced 1. 't is an Hereditary 2 an Vniversal Debt both every man is born in this Debt and no man living is exempted from it 3. 't is an increasing and a growing debt the longer it runs on in a mans life c. 4. 't is an infinite debt and therefore insoluble it cannot be paid c. no finite creature can ever pay this infinite debt to the infinite Creator Those blessed truths the Lord spake with a strong hand as Isa 8.11 to this Young Mans heart and made him consider First That till this Agreement be made my God is my Adversary and I had better have all the World my Enemy the Maker of the World who if a friend can make my Enemies Friends c. Secondly I cannot stand it out with the great God who will burn up those bryars that set themselves against him Isa 27.4 Thirdly 'T is no frivolous thing to be done or undone but 't is a matter of great moment Eternal weal and woe hangs upon it c. Fourthly I must agree c. because there is no other way in all the World to take up this prodigious debt but by agreement c. Fifthly It will not always be my priviledge to make an agreement Time will not last always for taking up the Controversy for when Death comes then it is to late c. Sixthly If my cause come before the Righteous Judge I am sure to be cast because 't is a bad cause and that Judge will not be bribed with any thing in the day of Judgment Seventhly It I be cast in my cause I shall be delivered up by the Judge to Gods Gaoler and Executioner to wit the Devil Eightly If I be Delivered over to Gods officer of Justice he will cast me into Prison that is Dragg me into hell Ninthly If once I be cast into the prison of Hell there must I lye till I have paid the uttermost Farthing which can never be done I must be always paying the Debt yet never have paid it By these Soul-awaking Considerations the Lord help'd him through his Grace to conclude with himself That it was the highest Wisdom in the World to agree quickly with God his Adversary as he was a child of Wrath by nature Eph. 2.3 and it would be the most sublime Folly for him any longer to deferr it c. Hereupon the Lord having thus opened his Eyes touch'd his Heart and broke down windows into his Dark Soul upon further inquiry he learned that this vast debt he was owing to Divine Justice no less than Ten thousand Talents Mat. 18.24 which is no less than a Kings Ransom could never be compounded for This just Judge will have either All or None and till an Agreement be made God is an angry Adversasary And better I should anger all the Witches in the World and all the Devils in Hell than anger the great God I must agree with Him Then the inquiry was made how this might be done The answer was there is something lays on Gods part and something on yours That on Gods part is 1. to find an Arbitrator or Days-Man one more than a man for what could a meer man do with an angry God 2. God found a Ransom a Surety to satisfy the debt with the Travel of his Soul Job 33.24 Heb. 7.22 and Isa 53.11 3. God makes the Sinners Heart wilâ—ing to accept of this way of Agreement Phil 2.13 That which â—ays on mans part is two
to take him then were my thoughts fixed upon Christ though they had been wandring two days before and I had lost my beloved yet nothing could give me peace till I here found Him and Sweet communion with Him wherein I heard him say to my Soul thy sins smal and great are pardoned and thy pardon is sealed I saw as it were his precious blood spurting out of his sides into my heart Oh my Soul ever for ever love this Lovely Lord admire and adore him who hath sealed thy pardon Never sin more but walk suitably to all this c. The Fourth Sacrament was November 6. 1681 whereof he saith thus I have longed for this ordinance because I had more than ordinary sins such as pride that I had long groaned under which made me long for the sprinkling of my Dear Redeemers blood to wash them away I was also pestered with passion as well as pride with unbelief with wandring thoughts and some times with Blasphemy O cursed cursed sin and O wicked wicked heart once to think whether God was or no when thou hast had such clear evidences of a Diety these were my five deadly odious sins which I begg'd might be purged from me O that I may never see nor feel them more At this Ordinance I found relief and feeling the Wine falling down lower and lower I desired it might carry of all my filth so as to leave none remaining and there did I resolve through grace to leave those five sins and never have any thing to do with them c. The Fifth Sacrament was December 4. 1681. wherein saith he I did again lay my sins before the Lord fearing their return upon me did desire a meek and humble heart against my pride and passion I did again resign my self to God having broken Covenant with Him and begging with the Syrophaenician Woman to touch the Hem of Christs garments that I might be cleansed from my issue of sin but could not at that instant get so nigh him but afterwards had I a clear representation of Christs sufferings in the Garden where he bore the wrath of God sweating drops of blood through his cloths in a cold season so that he came as from Bozra with died garments then I saw the crown of thorns upon his head and his head beaten with the Soldiers iron-gloves which made the thorns wound his Holy Head in 72. places so that the blood ran down upon his body I saw also the heavy weight of the cross laid upon Him and how he was spit upon reviled and derided this blessed sight prevented wandring thoughts till the last prayer though I did not deserve the least crumb of comfort for unpreparedness to so great a work which had God dealt out my desert would have been no less than Hell c. The Sixth Sacrament he did partake of was January the first 1681 2. upon which he makes these remarks I had been some days before more than ordinary in my preparation and prayer for a profitable receiving and when I came to it I was sore afraid that I should lay stress upon preparatory actings therfore begged I of God that he would not deal with me accordingly I laboured to act my requisite graces As 1. Repentance laying open before the Lord all my old year sins to that New-years day and laboured to mourn for them more than formerly especially for my deadly deadly sins Spiritual pride Passionateness Wandring Thoughts in Holy Duties unbeleif worldliness c. and I hope God gave there both pardon of them and power against them 2. My thankfulness I actuated as well as I could for so rich a mercy begging for it both hard and always 3. My love though I had much too little experiencing the sweet Kisses of Christs mouth and Embraces of his love I saw Christ on the Cross Embracing me as vvell as I him and saying to God I have paid a Ransom for him this man is he c. This was so sweet that I could embrace the stake or even go into hell so I might thus enjoy him whom my Soul loved and when I heard the Minister say mourn for your sins that murdred your Lord I answered within my self How can the Children of the Bride mourn while the Bridegroom is with them Twice did wandring thoughts offer themselves but were by grace suppressed at the first rising having now obliged my understanding will memory affections conscience yea all to attend Gods service While thus fill'd with this enjoyment I longed to be in Heaven and desired that welcom welcom friend death that I might sing with the Holy Saints and Angels Hallelujahs to to the Lord then said I O my Soul let nothing draw thy love from thy Lord For the World Friends Relations Pleasures Profits all things put together can never give such joy to thee as thou hast found from lovely lovely Jesus in this blessed ordinance therefore lay not out thy love upon any thing besides Him who hath done and is doing great things yea and will do greater for thee Such was my warming warming loves at this Supper The Seventh Sacrament was February the 3. 1681 2. Upon which he remarks thus when I found my heart not fully fixed by my New years Day Sacrament but notwithstanding all my striving I was yet troubled with distraction in duty I longed for this ordinance very much and thought it long till it came that accounts might be made even between God and my poor Soul I was dull for 2. or 3. Duties before and could not get my heart raised whereby I saw that I deserved nothing though wandring thoughts pressed upon me yet were they cut short 2 or 3 times I found relief from those sins I had laid open before the Lord in the foregoing Sacrament I bewailed my breaking covenant my distraction my deadness and coldness in duty c. And at this Sacrament my Dear Redeemer met me said to me I have pardoned those thy sins at thy request this much affected and inlivened me in love to him seeing him then as it were coming from Heaven to the Earth and from Earth to the Cross shedding his precious blood for me and from the Cross into Glory and methought Christ said to me go sin these your sins no more which obliged me to a close walking and to be more watchful than before all this month the Lord kept me from pride but alas my other sins returned to foil me The Eighth Sacrament was March 5. 1681 2. Upon this he saith thus I had more than ordinary communion with God before it and have not had a sweeter season for a long time which made me long till it came in this ordinance I saw my dear Redeemer as it were dead with a company of Holy Angels holding of Him and a great darkness over all the place this was grief to my Soul but presently he that was dead I saw him alive again and comming into the midst of us to see
task as appears by his most Dilligent and Divine Diary This necessary but much neglected work of self-tryal I find he began at the spring-time Aequinoctial upon the 10. of March 1681 ‥ O Holy and Happy Soul that had now his hard frozen heart thus kindly thawed by a look of love from the Son of Righteousness as Peters was by a Look from his Lord Luke 22.61 62 Hereby the Lord helped him to say with the Bridegroom in the Song The winter is past the rain is over and gone The Flowers appear on the Earth c. Cant. 2.10 11 12 13.1 most blessed spring of Grace better than that of Grass was now upon him though I cannot give so distinct an account of his Diary as I would because 't was writ in obscure Characters only with a black pencil intended it seems solely for hiâ— own private use yet with the beâ—â— key we could get it hath been opened that such precious treasurâ— should not be lost but communicated for the common good I begin here from the Manuscripâ— both as to the matter and as to the time as I can judge upon what Sabbatâ— Day I heard a Sermon upon Peter going out and weeping bitterly after Christ had looked upon him Saith he I went to prayer that night and begged of God to give me Peters Repentanoe and in the earnestness of Spirit I fell flat upon the ground before the Lord to begg it Then I laid long till I had some comfort from my God yet remained I dull and muddy till wednesday night and then had I some communion with my God again even a new tast of his first goodness and comfort in prayer On Thursday night did I meet him whom my Soul loveth again which I found very useful to me finding by woful experience that without Christs strengthening me I could do nothing spiritually nor before the Sabbath ensuing nor in it had I the sweet communion with God I used to have before but on Munday night I met my God having a pretty deal of time that evening for Tuesday morning was not so good nor could I raise my heart at night till it was very late and then had I my former sweetness but much more upon wednesday the same I found upon the Sabbath following and on Munday night and on the next night also though everdul at the first yet inlarg'd after upon wednesday night I pray'd twice successively and found more than ordinary incomes On Thursday again I had inlargements but at the close the Devil made me drowsy to cut short my duty c. but on Friday my heart was kept better raised On Saturday I begged of God to direct me how I might meet the blessing of the next Sabbath which through grace I met with on that day yet was troubled with wandrings in my evening duty On Munday the presence of God was with me and made my duty sweet at night On Tuesday I met with a precious opportunity for my Souls good On Wednesday I did not so well which made me chide my Soul for no better requiting the Lords kindness On Thursday morning I had Gods presence the same at night though troubled with wandrings On Friday I had many outward mercyes yet could improve aright neither Gods word of Grace nor his works of Mercy On Saturday having spare time from business I sought the Lord thrice for a larger sight of the light of his Countenance when the Sabbath came the Lord gave me an Answer of Peace c. Thus might a large account of this gracious Young-Mans Self-Tryal and watchings over his own ways from Month to Month all along but because to do so distinctly from day to day would fill a volume I must therefore wave it and that not out of Judgment only but out of necessity also seeing the key that opened his Charactars could not reach them all neither in point of time nor in point of matter the judicious Reader may easily imagine that this defect will lame us in this work yet though it cost me unspeakable trouble and pains I shall follow my thread in this labyrinth I have already given an exact account how he examined himself upon every monthly Sacrament from August 7. 1681. to Jan. 7. 1681 3. which was the last he did partake of for not long after his Dear Redeemer whom he had so oft admired and embraced in the Lords Supper upon Earth called him home to Sup and Feast with him in Heaven As to his Self-Tryal at all other times between every one of those Seventeen Sacraments I shall proceed to relate so far as my key will carry me The best computation I can make out of the many manuscripts consisting of above thirty sheets which I have to abridge and methodize drawn out of his Diary Pocket-book and Almanack c. He renews his self-examining work again upon March 17. 1681 2. being Fryday how he spent all the time from the last March to this save only relating to the Sacraments we must be content to want it for want of better helps but upon that day he hath left upon record he had wandring thoughts in duty did little for the good of others my sins saith he lay but light I mourned not for the sins of the land I looked not into my own heart nor was I concern'd in holy ejaculations The same he saith of himself in spending the 18 and March the 19. being the Sabbath he remarks the same omissions and not having a frame Suitable to the Day yea in night-duty pestered with wandrings on March 20. I arose from Table without drooping being full glad to meet God there March 21. had the former omission and Heaven little in my sight 22d day could not mourn for the sins of the land and the same frame was upon me the 23. and 24. nor could I do better or look into my heart the 25 of March 1682. nor the six following Dayes of that month could he shake of those omissions April the first he brands himself with the same neglects the second day he adds to those neglects that wandring thoughts had eaten up the life of his duty on the third the same complaint on the fourth missed vain thoughts in a good measure yet only through the strenght oâ— Christ but on fifth he adds God our of sight Heaven out of mind on the sixth he makes the same moan of seventh my own sins and the sins of the land lay too light upon my heart c. eight the same and that he had done nothing extraordinary for the Church in herday of distress ninth the same yet had some good thoughts but troubled with wandrings tenth the same and so the eleventh adding I have been this day tempted to pride so the twelfth thirteenth and fourteenth are filled with the like complaints and fifteenth he adds I have been spending this noon much too vainly the sixteenth being the Sabbath he blessed God that distraction had not dulled him
c. Tenthly So observant was he 〈◊〉 all the workings of his own heart that he sets down how that when he was praying once in the dark Cellar without any light the Tempter possessed him with fears that something would appear to affright him but God graciously stepped in and said to him fear not thou Son of Abraham c. Gen. 15.1 Eleventhly He records the very Days wherein he missed his taking an account of his own daily task of self examination and when he omitted the scattering of some savory discourse becoming table-talk at meat-times Twelfthly He computes the very times First When mourning for sin was made sweet to his Soul Second When he enjoyed Gods presence in prayer both by himself and with others Third How often God came to him when disturbed in Duty or disappointed of it being constrained thereby sometimes to pour out his heart to God in the shop by day and upon his bed by Night in both which places he had sweet warmings of Spirit Fourthly How oft he made resignation of his Soul to God which was very frequent as also how oft he renewed his Covenant with God especially upon Sacrament Days which are the most Material Remarks whereof I would not omit one out of choice I could collect out of the many sheets I had to peruse in my oft reading them over And had not the same matter so oft upon distinct occasion repeated been reduced by this method to those few several Heads this tract might have swollen into a volume CHAP. V. THE last subject of this Discourse is twofold First The Evidences He had for Heaven Second The Characters that were given him by gracious and judicious witnessings of others As to the First I find several Evidences writ with his own hand and which gave sweet encouragement to his Soul that he was a chosen vessel of mercy and one to be filled as with Grace Here so with Glory Hereafter First I know my Repentance saith he because my sense under sin as a burden is heavier to my Soul than all my afflictions are to my Body I am ashamed of my secret sins which no man seeth or knoweth before the Lord who seeth and knoweth them and all other things and I desire to leave my darling sin and to leave all love to it yea to loath it through my love I bear to my Lord and Dear Redeemer whom I account dearer to me than any sin yea than all the World c. Secondly I know saith he that to have true faith by Christ is more precious to me than all things in the World I am willing to receive him into my heart as my Lord and King to Rule me and my Faith works by Love so that I am grieved for his absence and rejoyce at his presence and I am willing to part with all for him that he may be my all and in all Thirdly I find a delight to do Gods Will sometimes in praying to him sometimes in praising of him sometimes in hearing from him and sometimes in meditating upon him and upon that Work of mans Redemption Fourthly I feel my heart mourning most for that sin which most disturbeth my peace and most separateth betwixt God and my Soul and longing most for that mercy that will do me most good in a dying hour to wit not general but special mercy even mercy in Christ Fifthly I can say that I love the Lord for I hate that which grieves him and that because it grieves him and I love those that are most like him yea the places and duties wherein I have found the Lord warming my heart and cannot be content without him in any Sixthly I can say I have a principle of life spiritual for I find hungrings and thirstings after an enjoyment of Christ and find my Soul grieved when he is dishonoured either by my self or by others and I love long and look for his last appearing and coming Seventhly I highly value the Gospel that Word of Christ and Truth which bringeth good tidings even Reconciliation and the Dispensation of the Grace of God which hath been hid some Thousand of Years and now is forfeited yet graciously continued to us though withdrawn from many Nations I am thankful for it labour to live like it and to adorn it with my life daily Eightly I know that matters are agreed with God so that he is now no adversary because I find an oneness with him 1. In mind which is made correspondent with the mind of God by this agreement I can think the reproaches of Christ to be greater riches than the Treasures of Aegrpt Heb. 11.26 2. Oneness of Will I can say whether for life or Death the will of the Lord be done Acts. 21.14 Though there hath been much ado to bring my will into an agreement with God and when I find not sometimes an actual agreement yet have I always an habitual agreement of my will with the will of God 3. Oneness of Affection I love what God loves and hate what God hates Psal 119.70 Jer. 44.4 I hate sin which God hates so I love holiness which God loves 4. Oneness of way Can two walk together unless they be agreed Amos 3.3 Psal 119.30 and 25 5. and Isa 56.4 5. 5. Oneness of interest Gods Interest is mine and my interest is Gods I can say in the Witnessings of the Holy Ghost Rom. 9.1 that there is this five-fold Oneness betwixt God and me so are agreed The Ninth Evidence for his Interest in Heaven was his Holy Jealousy over his own heart in all his holy undertakings ever fearing that some by respect and not Gods glory was the motive that led him to holy duties this he oft prayed against and particularly cautions a gracious Young-Man with whom he had agreed to carry on a Christian Correspondency either in absence by Letter or in presence by Conference that herein they did not bring hurt instead of good to themselves by seeking our selves and not him whose we are c. We are not our own but Christs who pay'd dear for us far more than we are worth and we have covenanted to glorify him not our selves c. this Holy Jealousy is a blessed frame of Spirit Tenthly His prizing an Union and Communion with God above the Confluence of all worldly comforts This point he in another letter to the Young-Man aforesaid when in the Country by sickness much insists upon saying while we enjoy Gods presence we have the Hidden Manna and that joy which strangers to God intermeddle not not with all is nothing and worse than nothing without it 't is Heaven upon Earth and 't is Heaven in the way to Heaven thus David reckon'd One Day with God better than a thousand without him c. Eleventhly O What carefulness do I find in all his Manuscripts as well as in his letters expressed to keep his accounts even betwixt God and his Soul that right reckoning might keep them long friends in his
comforted Isa 54.11 till God brought him to the Haven◠Man's Life as a Ship before the Wind passeth on without any stay until it come to Shore Whether the Marriners in the Ship be sleeping or wakeing working or eating she runs on her course So doth Man's Life run on however he spends his time whether he sleeps or wakes serves God or serves the Devil the Wind of Divine Power and Providence is carrying our Ship of Life nearer its Port while I am thus Speaking and you Hearing God grant it may be the Cape of Good Hope Heaven to wit the best landing place Secondly As Man's Life is likened to a Pilgrimage by Land so this likewise declares it to be a Perilous Passage and Path-way We must not take the Word Pilgrimage in the Text either strictly or Superstitiously in the sence of the Popish Votaries Jacob was not to be looked upon no not by Pharoah himself to be a Popish Pilgrim nor any of the Holy Patriarchs his Predecessors The Popish Pilgrimage to Jerusalem is a Ridiculous as well as a Superstitious Practice for no one place can bring a Man nigher God than another all parts of the Earth have an equal distance from Heaven though the Romanists plead that Father Cyril went thither yet he himself professeth that he went not upon the account of any private Pilgrimage to Jerusalem but as he was ordered by Publick Authority to visit the Eastern Churches and to establish them in the Truth But we must understand Pilgrimage here largely for a Path-way a Thorough-Fare a Course Race or Journey from one place to another Thus a Pilgrim in Scripture-Sence is all one with a Traveller a Stranger and a Sojourner Man's Life is but his walk and way There be many Congruities betwixt them which I shall reserve to discourse upon in handling the Sixth Observation as being their proper place adding only here that there is a Two-fold Pilgrimage First A Natural Pilgrimage Secondly A Moral Pilgrimage First The Natural Pilgrimage is the course that a Man rides the Race that he runs even the whole Passage and Progress of his Life of Nature ab Vtero ad Vrnam from his Birth to his Burial for till then he comes not to his Journeys end or to the Period or full Point of his Pilgrimage There be two Terms in this former to wit the Grave of the Womb is the Terminus a quo or starting place Man begins this Pilgrimage as soon as he is Born of a Woman and comes out of the Womb into the World and he never rests from his Travel but is a poor Pilgrim sleeping and waking until he come to rest in the Womb of the Grave There the weary be at Rest Job 3.17 that is His Terminus ad Quem There is Secondly a Moral Pilgrimage wherein likewise there are two the like Terms This is a walking from our selves and from our Sins up unto God and unto Godliness The beginning of this Pilgrimage Morally taken is the privative part a ceasing from Sin or departing from Evil and the Accomplishment of it is the positive part a Learning to do well and not only a pursuing but also an overtaking of that which is Good Isa 1.16 17. and Psal 34.14 and Amos 5.15 And this is a Metaphorical Walk non Pedibus sed Affectibns as saith the Father with our Affections Those Feet of the Soul whereby it goes forth after Objects more than with those of the Body I. VSE Seeing your Life is but a Pilgrimage a coming and a going as David's Phrase is and of Joshuah before him Behold I am going the way of all the Earth 1 King 2.2 and Josh 23.14 that is The way of all the Men upon Earth who are all doom'd to go that way Hebr. 9.27 Oh consider both you young and you old your Life is a Path-way either to a Prison or to a Pallace it is a Thorough-Fare either to Heaven or to Hell Bethink your selves in time Be Men and Women of Consideration for that is it which distinguishes Men from Beasts c. II USE Then Agree with your Adversary an angry God for your Sins while you are in the way of your Life Matth. 5.25 While you are going your Pilgrimage before you come to the Judges House who will certainly send you if unreconciled into an Everlasting Prison If you walk in the broad way being all for Elbow-room to Sin and leading loose and Licentious Lives you are hastening down to the Chambers of Eternal Death Matth. 7 13. but if in the Narrow-way of a strict Conversation Then are you going to a Pallace not to a Prison ver 14. a good Life always bespeaks a good Death and all Persons are passing either to Heaven or Hell while they live and when they Die their Death is but a flitting to the one place or to the other c. Having thus far discovered the Nature of Humane Life defined or described in the Text to be not any Royal Progress which is constantly carry'd on and manag'd after a Splendid manner every way adapted to the Grandeur of Majesty No the Life of Man hath no such stately Prospect in this Holy Patriarchs eye but 't is a poor Pilgrimage twice inculcated here and as oft aggravated with contemptible Circumstances relating to both the Quantity and the Quality of this poor Pilgrimage From tke former of these two to wit the Quantity ariseth my Fift Observation Doctr. 5. The Pilgrimage of Man's Life is but a short Pilgrimage Thus this Blessed Patriarch computed his own Life in the Text to be but a short Life consisting only of a few Days though he had now attained to the Age of an Hundred and Thirty years Few and evil c. To speak distinctly of the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that it is so of the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 why it is so and of the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the manner how it is so cannot be expected in this short Discourse save only some promiscuous Intimations of them all I. REASON The shortness of this Pilgrimage is Demonstrable three ways First In as much as Man's Life is measured by Days one of the least Computations of time not by Weeks or by Months much less by Years Thus Jacob computeth his own Life by Days in the Text twice over as he doth also the Lives of the foregoing Patriarchs Thus Job likewise numbereth his Life by Days over and over again as Job 7.1.6 and 14.1.5 and many more places too long to enumerate So David 1 Kings 2.1.4 and Psal 103.3.11 c. yea and all the most Mortified Men in Scripture do unanimously concur in the same Computation of their Lives by Days II. REASON The Second Demonstration that Man's Life is short as it is measured so it is numbered by his Days yea to be but as one day Because it consists only of a few Days This Epithet is expressed in the Text Few are my Days c. Man's appointed Time is but a few
in duty 17th had like to have fallen into passion but God disappointed it yet not much in Holy Ejaculations c. eighteenth not up early had my former omissions and commissions the ninteenth twentyeth and twenty first yea to the end of April he arraigns himself as guilty of all those aforesaid Crimes then May 1 2 3 4 5 6. Complains of all those evils adding that hurreys of his trade at this time did provoke him more to passion but sometime God helped him to subdue it c. the 7. being Sabbath Day sin set too light did not mourn for the sins of the land not enough in holy ejaculations nor in looking into my own heart nor seriously minding the Word of God 8 9 10 11 12 13. the same little life much dullness being wearyed with the hurries of the World 14 frothy discourse with some delight O sin sin lay too light both mine own and the lands sin 15 16 17 18 19. the same Complaint 20. neglecting to read Gods Word 21 22 23. so on to the end of May he cryes out I have done nothing for my self nor the Church I have not been my self hardly knowing what I did through the hurryes of the World O the World the World is a saâ— impediment to my Soul God hath not been in my mind Heaven out of my sight I have not mourned for my own sins nor those of the land nor had holy ejaculations c. thus he saith particularly upon every day adding thus I continued till the fourth of June being always wearyed with work and unfit for any good O it hath been a sad time for my Soul thus likewise I neglected till the 17 of June on which I renewed my covenant with God yet 18 19. the same neglects prevailed only on the 20. I had some holy Ejaculations but 21 22. the same and 23. I prayed not over the Sermon as I should have done and omitted all as before 24 still pestred with former neglects O sad sad that I should be thus carryed under Grace thus he moans on 25 26. and so on to the end of June on every day I have done little for the Church or for my Soul have not read Gods word sin sits too light not mourn'd for my own sin nor for the sins of the land Heaven hath been out of sight and God out of mind too little have I been in holy ejaculations with wandrings not oft looking into my own heart c. July 1682. from 1 to 10. he complains particularly upon each Day in the same word 's too much wandrings in Holy Duties too little sense of sin upon my heart I have not mourned enough for my own sins nor for the sins of the Land not much in ejaculations Heaven too much out of sight c. sometimes adding I neglected reading Gods Word have done little for Gods Church have not minded my Soul nor Gods praise c. Then concludes these ten days with this divine rapture O this deadly thing sin hath not duely affected my heart into what a sad state is my Soul fallen O my God I beseech thee leave me not This same complaint concerning those several omissions he carryeth on against himself quite through July to the last day August 1682. He makes the same moans of the same neglects all along the month upon the head of every day of the four weeks distinctly yet sometimes adding God helped me on the 2 of August against my deadly sin on the 6 day being the Sabbath I was less troubled with wandrings than I was the day after on the 8 day I arose from Supper without dropping any savory word at the Table on the 11. God kept me much from my sin this day On the 13. I had much of God in my night prayer though the Devil told me I had not begged Gods presence My dear Lord helped me to repulse him with ease On the 16 out of order all the day but at night God shone upon my Soul more than a long time before but lost all the two following days being hurryed with casting up our shop going backward not forward On 19. I felt my deadly sin crawl apace towards my heart which put me upon examination the 20. day and found it not in vain to cast my burden upon the Lord for I had thereby relief against my Pride c. for which I have cryed mightily to the Lord my God after which I had sweet communion with God then the Tempter strongly tempted me to neglect hearing and reading the Word but putting up an ejaculation I had strength to overcome him again after hearing a Sermon I went down into the Cellar to pray where the Devil would affright me that something would appear which through the help of my Dear Redeemer I stoutly resisted and bid Satan defiance then he objected against me my deadly sin which I could not but own yet could he not make me think so long upon it as to distract me in duty which was the Devils design but Osubtil Serpent my Lords goodness strengthned me to triumph over thee and I had a comfortable season upon the 21 of August 1682. all my old neglects prevailed and wandrings in my night prayer but God heard my ejaculation I got up early in the morning which sweet way I had much neglected through weariness with worldly work to pray wherein I found much of God O my Soul love that lovely lovely one thy Lord who hath heard thee hath done is doing great things for thee and will do greater On the 26. I neglected reading the Word been too much about Worldly affairs which took me off from God and I lost my time in Duty nor could I get up my thoughts to my God in my hurryes yet on the Saturday following I recovered a blessed frame O my Soul love and praise the Lord for ever September the 2. I was at a fast for the fire of London where I was not free of my aforesaid omissions yet waiting there all the day at length had the sweet presence of God On the 4. I had Heaven in my sight and but little troubled with wandrings yet too little looked I into my own heart I sat up late for Duty and God made it sweet to me On the seventh he makes his old moan against himself saying I feat my own self righteousness the 10. God discovered my deadly sin which caused his withdrawment from me and that wishing to die to avoid misery by God withdrawings is but a pang of passion The 15. old wandrings c. returned I think my murmuring was the cause I first read Isa 65.22 23 24. from whence upon my ejaculation God spake comfort to me so had after delight in duty The 19 God discovered another sin my seeking the praises of men that darkned his face from me The 23. but little sensible how I had grieved away Gods good Spirit in morning prayer The 25. had little sense of Gods putting a vail
the morning he gives an high encomium of Godliness to strengthen her in love to the good ways of God saying 't is the great work we have to mind in this lower World therefore need we to meet helps to forward one another therein 't is not a small thing or a by-business to be forgotten c. 't is the best riches that cannot be taken from us as there are all good things in it so there is no danger to loose it yet find I a proneness to be triffling and tampering with transitory vanities while the true riches are neglected O this Heart-work is Hard-work and the way to Heaven is up the hill but our Captain if we follow him close will make it easy helping us to hold on and to hold out to the end not only as living but also as lively Christians not loitering in the way of sin but lustily running our race seating our selves under Gods eye All lower persons and things be changeable Relations may be our friends to Day and they may be dead to morrow or they may live yet their love may die and our delights to day may be our sorrow and our horror to morrow c. but still in Godliness we have an unchangable God our thoughts of this must be bellows to blow up the flame of our desires and the spur to our dull affections In another Letter to his younger Sister which came also to my hand O what a travelling spirit was upon him that Christ may beformed in her saying to her My hearts desire and prayer 〈◊〉 that you may be saved conâ—â—der your sad estate by nature you are a slave of Satan a stranger to God and if you dye in that estate you are undone for ever O that you may see in this your day the things that belong to your everlasting peace least they be for ever hid from your eyes For judgment will certainly find you where death doth leave you if you die in an unregenerate slate you will be banished from the presence of God and an eternity of horror and terrour is to be endured c. But if you make your calling and election sure then may you expect nay you will have everlasting bliss O think much on these things you have now time to make your peace put it not off if you love your Soul no not till to morrow as too many young persons do thinking it soon enough yet and yet but know you may be dead before the morrow pray therefore for conveâ—â—ing Grace and for power to cast off sin especially that which lays nearest your heart for if the heart-sin be loved better than Christ 't will undo you for ever let but your Lord have your chiefest love and you will soon find more pleasure in ways of holiness than in all the ways of sin In another letter to his kinswoman I find him very warm in his exhortations saying Now is the time of stirring up one another to prepare for approaching evils seeing the Cloud thickens and looks black over our head we have need to have our rock ready to fly to and to have our evidences for Heaven cleared to have our loins girt and our lamps burning and to sit loose from those lower things that seem now to be leaving us O that sweet word Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to us for the end of this dispensation is to drive uâ— further off from sin and nearer God And O sweet word In the world ye shall have tribulation but in Christ peace who would not travel through a world of trouble to find that peace in Christ This kinswoman was so touched with his lines that she cast in this character of him after his death saying God took him from me because I was unworthy of him he told me 't was better to want time than to want an heart for doing good he cryed oft hearing the clock strike O Time Time I am so much nearer eternity and O the Love of Christ that purchased an eternity of weal for me is there any Love like Christs c. In another I find these short rules comprized in Verse very useful to him when time would not permit him to make any use of larger helps Let not soft sleep thy weary eyes invade Before the same confine with the nights shade Thy thoughts retire and make it their last task Of the days deeds three questions thus to ask Wherein Have I transgressed this day what good deed have I wrought And what have I forborn to do which to have done I ought Or Thus. What have I done amiss this day What well What Good have I omitted Conscience tell This Distich as his who sent him them intimates comprehends all our thoughts words and deeds and by pondering and improving them duely and daily they both reaped great â—â—nifit c. In another I find that the method of correspodency betwixt his Friend a gracious young man and himself was carryed on by a communication of Experiences or practical and profitable discourses upon the joys of Heaven the love of God in Christ the second coming of our Lord the evil of sin c. As to the first of those points the joys of Heaven their intercourse maketh this mention The Glory which we ought to have our Faith fixed on for our comfort is called in Scripture comparisons A Crown of life of Righteousness and of Glory an incorruptible inheritance a rest for the People of God the recompence of reward an House not made with hands an excellent place which the eye hath not seen c. The City of the Living God the Heavenly Jerusalem the Holy kingdom the Blessed hope and end of our holy race the City whose builder and maker is God the house not made with hands the heavenly Country the strait Gate c. The contemplation of all these divne comparisons afforded strong consolation to Both their Souls c. No less comfortable was their interchange of communion about the other point of Christs second coming which is likewise called in Scripture a Day of consolation and of corronation an harvest day a marriage day and a day of admiration wherein Christ will be admired of all his Saints at his Glorious appearance though now we be dispised by the world as our dear Redeemer himself was yet this is our joy our redemption day draweth nigh c. In another letter he hath this passage I suppose to some Minister saying Sir though I be a stranger to you yet cannot nay dare not hoâ—â— any longer from speaking to you for asking my own heart whether I were fit to dye it was answered that could not be till accounts were cleared concerning the sins I groaned under between God and my Soul about this Sir my present address is for your profitable advice Therefore I beseech you search me throughly to the very inwards of my heart c. Many more such savoury lines all seasoned with the salt of sincerity and sanctity I might add out of several other of his Letters which must be omitted to avoid prolixity To Conclude upon the View of the whole I must only add this though we have not his picture drawnin paint by some skilful limner for refreshing the memory of Relations and to prefix before this Book yet it is limned to the life in black and white both by private Christians and publick Ministers He was without flattery a mirror of piety especially in making so strict a scrutiny over all his own steps and taking so serious a prospect over all his own works both upon Sabbath days and upon every week-day between them that He might keep his heart with all diligence Prov. 4.23 O how exact was he in Self-Examination as well in civil and secular as in sacred affairs I have been young and now am old yet never in all my acquaintance found I so much faithful Self-tryal which is indeed a most necessary but alas a much neglected duty and I am confident most Christians are at a great lost in their inner man by the omission hereof as to my own part I am utterly ashamed to behold my self now an old Minister of Forty Yeâ—rs standing in the Ministry so far out stripped by so Young a Man not attaining the third part of my age and so private a Christian as an Apprentice would to God we could all young and old Ministers and People imitate this Pattern of piety calling our faithless hearts to a faithfull account daily and ever keeping upon our Watch-Tower c. This would be a blessed means to keep in the fear of God all the day Prov. 23.17 to live much more in a little time as he did from 1678. to 1683. to be neither ashamed to live nor afraid to dye like him who lived his little short life with Christ in this lower world and now reigneth with Christ in the upper and better world FINIS Thâ— I did dilligently correct every Sheet yet for want of some Revises these faults with some others have escaped ERRATA In the Epistle page 5. line 18. dele 6 p. 6. l. 24. read got p. 36. l. 18. to wit trans p. 49. l. 9. for third r. threefold p. 63. l. 20. for Heaven r. haven P. 77. 1. 21. for soul r. seal p. 79. 1. 17. r. than p. 108. 1. 6. r. get p. 116. 1. 21. r. jeered and 1. 24. r. that p. 150. 1. 12. for to r. I. for by r. because p. 170. 1. 9. for 82. r. 83.