or Falshood therein thou wouldst discover it to me and help me to do it aright And now Glory be to thee O God the Father whom I shall be bold from this Day forward to look upon as my God and Father that ever thou shouldst find out such a Way for the Recovery of undone Sinners Glory be to thee O God the Son who hast loved me and washed me from my Sins in thy own Blood and art now become my Saviour and Redeemer Glory be to thee O God the Holy Ghost who by the Finger of thine Almighty Power hast turned about my Heart from Sin to God O Dreadful Jehovah the Lord God Omnipotent Father Son and Holy Ghost thou art now become my Covenant-Friend and I through thine Infinite Grace am become thy Covenant-Servant Amen So be it And the Covenant which I have made on Earth let it be ratified in Heaven April 11. 1667. HENRY GEARING A Pathetical Meditation on the Passion of Christ taken out of Mr. Wadsworth's Remains 8vo abridged and transcribed for his own Vse upon Sacramental Occasions A Way all trifling Worldly Business I must go see my bleeding Lord Come now my Soul look yonder thou wilt soon arrive at bloody Golgotha where thou shalt see thy bleeding dying Saviour to sigh and linger out a dying Life on the Cross in Love for thee This this might O my Soul have been thy Day in which thou might'st have drunk the bitter Cup of the fierce Anger of God! But look yonder there he goes that must drink up the Dregs and all for thee But come my Soul draw up a little nearer stand here and thou wilt see him passing Look there he goes with a Train of Virgins following But see how cruelly these barbarous Jews do use him they make him bear his Cross himself See how they laugh and scoff and wag their Heads as if he were their May-game Look see my Soul come tell me what thou seest O I cannot Sorrow ties my Tongue I cannot speak I see a Troop of Virgins following him their weeping Eyes their blubbering Lips their Sighs and Throbbings speak them Mourners I see my Lord looks towards them and kindly 〈◊〉 their loving Sorrow Weep not for me Ah could they do less than weep to see thine innocent Self among a Herd of Tygers But whither O whither O ye blinded Jews are ye dragging this my Lord My Spirit begins to faint I now can look no longer my Heart now begins to swell with Grief it must now break or I must vent it at my Eyes in Streams Look see the Hammer and Nails the Hammer lift up to strike Bloody Man thou durst not strike sure Surely thou dost not know whose Hands and Feet thou art now piercing it is the Prince and Saviour of the World But look see it is done The Nails are driven to the Head see how the Blood runs trickling down his Hands and Feet and see how hardned Hearts are laughing at it O silly foolish blinded Men what laugh yet See this very Christ you now mock shall be your Judge But come again look and see my Soul what is become of thy nailed and crucified Lord Ah me he is not quite dead look how he gasps and pants for Life O how pale and wan do I see his Cheeks methinks he should be dead for see how weak his Neck is grown that it is not able to support his Head that lies a dying on his bleeding Breast What yet not dead See how he shakes and stirs his dying Limbs What Gasps and Groans do I hear him fetch Hark hark he speaks O let me catch the last Breath of my dying Saviour What saith my Lord What My God my God why hast thou forsaken me He hath been all this while a drinking up the Cup his Father gave him the bitter sowr Cup of his Father's Wrath which I and all the World had else drank But must he endure all this Must he be crowned with Thorns and sweat and bleed and die and all for me This I stand amazed at But there was Necessity for all this either he must be thus dealt with or else my Sins could not be pardoned He must drink up this bitter Cup with all its Dregs or else I must have drunk it up my self It was I that sinned and must have suffered This cursed proud and earthly Heart of mine rebelled and broke the Laws and should have suffered and born the Punishment Had not he stept in and born the Stroak off from me I had been now burning in everlasting Flames and been lingring out this Time in Torments which I am now spending in the sweet Thoughts of my Escape Hath not the Prophet said all this in Isa 53. these Wounds Stripes Bruises he bore for thee O amazing Love and Grace the Son of God loved me better than his Life Was ever Love like to his Love He was a Stranger to me Why did he not let me die But he loved me I was a polluted Sinner methinks he should have loathed me but he did wash me and make me clean again But why did he love an Enemy Or how could he do it I know not why O inexpressible Love O Love past Thoughts He Loves because he will love What ails my Heart I cannot find it stir What! dead under the reviving Thoughts of thy dearest Redeemer Arise shake up thy self and look about thee thou dost not sure see thy Mercy Come away O come away lift up thy drowsie Head I will make thee look and love and e'er I leave thee confess thou lovest him Suppose now for thy Sins the Vengeance of God was just seizing upon thee turning thee into Hell and Christ comes and reveals himself to thee Sinner I love thee I say thou shalt not die Come feel my Heart how it beats towards thee Dost thou not see I have left my Throne and am come down to the Bar where thou standest condemned But why dost thou weep Come let me wipe thine Eyes and bind up thy bleeding and despairing Heart I tell thee thou shalt not die If Heaven will have Blood it shall have mine so it will but spare thine Now the Soul hath not a Word to speak against this Love Thy Son O God hath offered Satisfaction and thou hast accepted it Thou O my Saviour hast laid down thy Life for mine and thy Father and my Father is well pleased with it Blood is paid Justice is satisfied Heaven's Doors are widened thine Arms opened to receive me nothing is wanting but my Heart make it such as thou wilt have it and then take it to thy self Come my Soul the Father thou seest is willing and the Son is willing give but thy Consent and he is thine for ever Fear not thy Hardness Deadness Blindness Loathsomness all these cannot hinder if thou be but willing What stickest thou at What do'st ail Half of this ado would fetch a Heart for the World a little Mire and Dirt and is not
Christ far better The Dress for the Sacrament Lord where am I What! all the Children of the Bride-Chamber up and dress'd and I slumbring in my Bed Tell me ye fairest what make you up so early Alas our Lord was up before us all he called us up by Break-of-Day and wondered that we were not trimming our Lamps knowing with whom we were to feast this Day Well then I will rise up too O what a Shew do these bright and glittering Saints make in my Eyes surely they did not thus dress themselves It was my Father made them thus prepared to entertain his Son But where are my Cloaths Now for the fairest sweetest Robe of Thoughts and Wishes that can be found O how naked am I But where are my silken golden Twists of Faith to hang the Jewels of Joy and Love and Humility upon I am never dress'd till they be on O where are they I saw them by me but just now I laid them by my Heart before I went to Bed But ah I fear this envious World hath with her Vanities stolen them away or the envious Devil or Unbelief hath been ravelling or snarling of them that now I am as far to seek as ever Whither O whither shall I go to find them out Now will the Bridegroom come and I am not ready I cannot dare not go to Day now will my Lord be angry and ask me why I came not and I have no Answer to make him and if I go undress'd he will ask me where is my Wedding-Garment and then I shall be speechless Ah foolish simple Heart that thou should'st let these Thoughts of Earth so entangle themselves with thy Heavenly Meditations how to get them loose again thou know'st not this by Care thou mightest have prevented Now what Help Lord I have sinned O holy Father pardon this time and I will take more heed O come and untie my Thoughts from this Earth and come and dress me up as best pleaseth thee Come be not discouraged O my Soul let but thy Attire of Grace be whole that is sincere and thy God and Saviour will accept thee tho' thy Garments are not so much perfumed with Heaven as thy Brethrens are thy Lord knows all have not Talents alike and where he gives but little he expects but little thou hast an honest willing serious Heart that thinks it doth despise and trample under Feet the nearest dearest Pleasures Profits and Glories in the World compared with him that gave himself to Death for thee and hadst rather anger all the World than him by sinning against him in the least If this he true fear not thou hast thy Wedding-Garment on thou art well clad as mean soever as it is it is such an one as Heaven gave thee and such an one as thy dear Redeemer can and will embrace thee in The Presence-Chamber Fear not O my Soul I charge thee do not faint let not thy Weakness and the Poverty of thy Grace discourage thee see how thy Lord draws nigh O he comes and it is but to welcome thee and fall about thy Neck and kiss thee and bid thee a kind Welcome to thy bleeding Lord The Bread Welcome Fairest take and eat it is the sweetest Dainties dearest Morsel Heaven can afford thee Welcome my Dear to the Table of thy Lord welcome a thousand times I bid thee yea welcomer than thine own Heart can wish Take eat this Morsel it costs my Life it is a Portion thy Father sent unto thee by me and bid me remember thee of his Love to thee He bids thee remember a Father's Love I a Saviour's he hath a Heart to give thee and so have I take this in earnest of them both in one take freely if thou wert not welcome I would have told thee I would have ask'd thee for thy Wedding-Garment Tell me O tell me dost thou not love me I know thou dost And wilt not thou take the Cross and follow me I know thou wilt I heard thee and had Compassion on thy Groanings I know thee well enough thou art mine and I am thine take it I charge thee eat it as thou lovest me and while thou feedest remember the Love of thy dearest Redeemer The Wine Come my Dearest I have drunk and thou shalt pledge me I have broached my Sides and drew it on purpose for thee this is a Wine of my own making when I trod the Wine-Press of my Father's Wrath it is my Blood take and drink it Sin was the Cause of my wounding but to thy Soul it shall prove healing I died and bled to make this Banquet for thee I have brought thee into my Wine-Cellar and my Banner over thee shall be Love Fear not take and drink thou hast an Ulcer in thy Heart and this shall cure it thy Spirits are faint this shall revive thee Drink I charge thee drink on thy Love and Loyalty to me I command thee as thou wilt have thy Heart to mend thy Wounds to be cured thy Spirits to revive thy Fears to scatter thy Soul to love and obey me Take O take this Cup into thy Hand taste it and praise my Name Memorable Sayings and Passages collected and transcribed for his own Vse These are some among others WHat we are affraid to do before Men we should be affraid to think before God because our secret Thoughts are as obvious to the Eyes of God as our Actions to the Eyes of Men. God shewed more Mercy in saving some when he might have condemned all than he did Justice in leaving some to perish when he might have saved none Great Vertues without Sincerity of Heart are rejected when great Infirmities without Hypocrisie are pardon'd A good Intention cannot make a bad Action good tho' an ill Intention may make an Action in it self good to be evil He who presumes to sin in Hopes of Repentance shall be sure to repent because he presumes They who presume most in a time of Prosperity are most apt to despair in Adversity Repent one Day before thou diest was good Counsel I know not when that Day will be therefore I will repent to Day lest it should be too late to Morrow He that delays his Repentance one Day hath another Day more to repent of and one Day less to do it in God who joins the End and Means together doth accomplish all his Purposes of Good to us by working in us Desires and Endeavours sutable to those Purposes Better go to Heaven by the Gates of Hell than to Hell by the Gate of Heaven mourning to the Heavenly Glory than laughing to the Place of Torment One may suffer and not sin but if he sin he shall be sure to suffer Herod might have kept his Oath and not have cut off the Baptist's Head he only promised to grant what she ask'd to the half of his Kingdom whereas the Prophet's Head was more worth than the whole Such is the infinite Extent and Value of our Saviour's Merit that
now make to the Lord for all this Mercy Of my self I am not able to think a good Thought it is unlikely then I should make any sutable Return I have nothing of my own but Sin and that is God's Enemy which he perfectly hates I am not my own for I am bought with a Price Therefore if I give my self to him it is but that which was his own before Yet this will I do because I have nothing else to give I will give my Soul and Body to be the Lord's expecting Acceptance only for the Sake and Merits of Jesus Christ Surely God requires nothing of me but what he hath first given to me All that he requireth is but the Reflection of his Love back again when I have had the Comfort of it O what Thanks and Praise should I render to the Lord and say with David Bless the Lord O my Soul and all that is within me bless his holy Name Bless the Lord O my Soul and forget not all his Benefits He forgiveth all thine Iniquities c. Thou art my God and I will praise thee thou art my God and I will extol thee O give Thanks unto the Lord for he is good for his Mercy endureth for ever For he satisfieth the longing Soul and filleth the Hungry with good Things I will bless the Lord at all times and his Praise shall be continually in my Mouth I will love the Lord because he has heard the Voice of my Supplication because he has inclined his Ear unto me therefore will I call upon him as long as I live I will extol thee my God O King I will bless thy Name for ever and ever I will praise the Lord while I live I will sing Praise to my God while I have any Being And now when I look back upon this I cannot but rejoice in the Lord and joy in the God of my Salvation because I hope I have gone through the Pangs of the New Birth and truly enter'd in at the strait Gate and am now going the narrow Way that leads to Eternal Life which I hope to obtain through the Merits of Jesus Christ my Saviour And again When I reflect and look back upon all these Things what Cause have I to bewail the Sins of my Youth and the State of my Unregeneracy which was spent in Sin and Vanity and in those things wherein there is no Profit If God should remember against me the Sins of my Youth he might write bitter things against me If I should live the Age of Methusalah and spend all my Time in weeping the Tears of my Life to come were not sufficient to bewail the Sins of my Life past O what did I lose when I enjoyed no Communion with God! How much richer might I have been in Grace and Holiness and I set out in the Way to Heaven sooner But this is my Comfort tho' I did not come in at the first Hour yet I did not stay till the last This was the Lord's Mercy But my Sins before Conversion are not all the Sins which I have to mourn for but the Sins which I have been guilty of since and in some measure my Sins are greater since than they were before For I have now sinned against clearer Light dearer Love more Manifestations of God's Goodness more Experience of his Kindness more Resolutions to obey him greater Obligations to serve him so that I am asham'd to think how unthankful my Walking hath been since the Lord hath given me some Desires to serve him some Care to please him and some Fear to offend him When he was pleased first to lift up the Light of his Countenance upon me and speak Peace to my Soul after so many Temptations and Troubles of Conscience then I did not only serve him with Joy and Thankfulness but also with Life and Vigor O how was my Heart affected with Spiritual Things When I prayed it was with Sense and Feeling it was not only in Word but I poured out my Soul before the Lord. When I heard the Word of God how did I hear as for my Life and performed every Duty as for Eternity I did not look upon Duty meerly as a Task but accounted it a great Privilege to draw nigh to God in the Ways of his Appointment I found it was not in vain to seek him I was even filled with the Admiration of his Love and the Consolations of the Spirit and my Heart was enlarged and ran the Ways of his Commandments with great Delight and Comfort I could say with the Church As the Apple-tree among the Trees of the Wood so was my Beloved Jesus to my Soul I sate down under his Shadow with great Delight and his Fruit was sweet unto my Taste I could in some measure say with David As the Hart panteth after the Water-brooks so panteth my Soul after thee O God My Soul thirsteth for God for the living God When shall I come and appear before God O God thou art my God early will I seek thee My Flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty Land where no Water is How amiable are thy Tabernacles O Lord of Hosts My Soul longeth yea even fainteth for the Courts of the Lord for a Day in thy Courts is better than a thousand c. My Soul waiteth for God from whom cometh my Salvation He only is my Rock and my Salvation he is my Defence I shall not be greatly moved In God is my Salvation and my Glory the Rock of my Strength and my Refuge is in God Because thy Loving-kindness is better than Life my Lips shall praise thee my Soul shall be satisfied as with Marrow and Fatness and my Mouth shall praise thee with joyful Lips With my whole Heart have I sought thee O Lord let me not wander from thy Commandments Thou art my Portion O Lord I have said I will keep thy Precepts for with them thou hast quickned me O how love I thy Law It is my Meditation all the Day How sweet is thy Word to my Taste yea sweeter than Honey to my Mouth therefore I love thy Commandments above Gold yea above fine Gold Thus was my Heart filled with Joy and my Mouth with Praise and tho' my Dwelling was on Earth yet my Conversation was in Heaven I looked upon all things here below with an indifferent eye I could in some measure say with Paul None of these things move me neither count I my Life dear to my self so I may finish my Course with Joy I was then able to make a spiritual Use of every Providence and of every Mercy and of every thing I met with I found the assistance of the Holy Spirit to perform spiritual Duties in a spiritual manner and helping and directing me to some Duties which I never knew to be my Duty And tho' I cannot say I was wholly free from Temptation yet I can say whenever Satan began to set upon me I was enabled to see that it
Portions of Scripture by Heart and so he brought them to delight in it With what Solicitude and Care and unwearied Pains with what Compassion and Pity and hearty Affection he endeavoured the Conversion of some and the Recovery of others related to him from their Declensions in Religion I and several others can testifie His Piety was uniform equal and harmonious and all of a piece and therefore his ordinary Converse was grave and serious edifying and useful his Discourse becoming a Christian that was under the Eye and Awe of God and in the Fear of the Lord all the Day long He was always ready to begin or promote such Discourse and greatly lamented that when good People meet together they have so little Talk of Spiritual and Religious Matters I wish for my own sake I had spent more time with him upon this Account for he desired it not on any other He valued not Visits of Ceremony and Complement no not of Ministers or any others that would not help him as a Christian I trust his Memory will be a living Sermon to me and to many others that knew him In his Trade he had many and great Disappointments and Losses and yet bore them with admirable Patience He thanked God that he was carried through them with so much Calmness and Satisfaction that he could always speak good of God tho' hardly any that trade for more have been known to have lost so much He would not buy or sell without lifting up his Heart to God for Direction And as an Argument of his tender Conscience I have been informed by one who must needs know the Truth of it that he would not let his Silk lie on the damper side of the Warehouse lest it should thereby encrease in Weight and so wrong the Buyer He walked with God in his Calling so regularly as a Christian that I am perswaded he enjoyed more of God in his Shop and Ware-house in his Trade and Business than many of us do in our Retirements for Prayer and Devotion For let him come when he would from his Secular Affairs his Mind was more Spiritual and Heavenly than most ordinary Christians are when they come from the solemn Exercises of Religion In short his Principles his Thoughts his Inclinations his Affections and Actions his Carriage and Converse in the Whole of them was such as might be truly called a walking with God He was ready to do Good to all his Acquaintance by Counsel and Reproof by seasonable Instruction and Admonition whereof divers now living must needs be sensible and some of them I hope do thank God for his Freedom in that kind His Charity to the Poor was answerable to the rest according to his Ability Many a poor Family of Country Ministers and Ministers Widows in City and Country will feel that he is dead For what he could not do of himself he would endeavour to procure of others for the Relief of such whose Necessities he knew He never neglected a Monthly Opportunity of coming to the Lord's Table tho' he hath often complained to me that he had not ordinarily any sensible ravishing Joy however Careful and Strict he was in his Preparations before as well as Devout and Reverent when he came But he durst not stay away He came humbly to pay Homage to a Crucified Saviour and to avow to all the World that he gloried only in the Cross of Christ and was resolved to be found in the way of his Duty Now it would be expected that One so Exemplary so Circumspect so much above this World One so useful upon Earth and so ripe for Heaven should have lived in the most raised Consolations and the most joyful Transports as if he had been already almost in Heaven or just come from thence Surely will some say such an one as He must have the Earnest the Seal the Fore-tastes of Glory beyond his Brethren he must needs walk on the Top of Pisgah in the Light of God's Countenance in the sight of the Heavenly Canaan and be past the Fears and Doubts and Complaints of other Trembling Christians But God did not think this fit for him in the latter part of his Life Nevertheless he had that which was equivalent or better than the highest Flights of Assurance can be For under his Complaints of Doubts and Deadness and want of sensible Communion with God he had a most steady Trust in God through Jesus Christ and an uniform Obedience And as he has been often told his Doubts seemed to proceed from the Height of his Grace rather than the Weakness of it For such was his extraordinary Love to God that he never thought he could have Evidence enough of the Divine Presence and Favour tho' that was mixed with some Error of Judgment as expecting more than God hath promised in that kind and as arguing from such Arbitrary Dispensations of God unto such Conclusions as cannot justly be drawn from the Enjoyment or the Want of these Things For certainly his Judicious Love to God his inward Esteem of Holiness and Heaven his fixed Hatred and Abhorrence of Sin and his habitual Self-denial and Devotedness to God with constant Watchfulness and Care to please him and keep a Conscience void of Offence towards God and Man is a better Evidence of one beloved of God than the highest Transports can amount to Especially in his Case who under some Darkness and Fears was able yet to hold on his Way and his Work and to presevere with unshaken Stedfastness to the very last Tho' something also of his Natural Temper and Bodily Constitution ought to be considered to abate his Suspicion of himself upon the Account of his not having such raised sensible Consolations and Joys as some others Besides that his Humility in judging of himself and his earnest Desire of farther Communion with God made him overlook what he did enjoy even in this kind For often when he joined with others or when he prayed alone his Affections were more lively after having been Forty Years in Christ than most young Converts are the First Year However in this God was very gracious to him that tho' he feared the Devil might assault him at last he did not permit it But with a calm Submission and regular steady Trust and Hope in the Divine Mercy with Eyes and Hands and Heart lift up to Heaven he quietly departed this Life and is at Rest in the Bosom of Christ If I would pronounce a Blessing on his Family and surviving Relations upon his Wife and Children his Friends and Acquaintance that love and honour his Memory I know not how to do it by a more profitable Prayer than to beg of God that they may tread in his Steps and walk as he walked that his God may be their God that they may follow him as he was a Follower of Christ and so at last be more than Conquerors over the World and Sin and Death and him that hath the Power
abounding of all Sin and Wickedness more and more The Lord enable me to do and suffer his Will and let me have his Presence and his Promise made good not to suffer me to be tempted above what he will inable me to bear 1 Cor. 10. 13. and that I may readily let all go for Christ if I am called to it The Lord grant I may be made meet to be Partaker of the Inheritance of the Saints in Light and get my Evidences for Heaven ready which through the Assistance and Help of God I desire to go about The Lord grant I may not be deceived but may gather such Evidences as will hold out and bear me up in the midst of Troubles and Trials yea in the Hour of Death and the Day of Judgment The Lord in infinite Mercy sanctifie to me the Death of others God hath of late taken away many of my Neighbours Acquaintance Friends and Relations Ministers as well as others a little while since Mr. Pledger and Mr. Wells in one Day O that all may be sanctified and especially the Death of my Wife that I may yet make such use of that Providence as the Lord would expect and be ready and prepared for my own Departure hence whensoever it shall please my dear God and Father to call me home Being now about to enter here what I have to shew for a Work of Grace in my Heart and a Right and Title to Heaven I desire of the Lord to help me in this great Affair that I may not be deceived but that what I here enter may be the true State of my Soul and that which will hold out and yield me Comfort in an Hour of Distress It hath been in my Thoughts several times to enquire what I had to shew for my Hope of Heaven that which ran most in my Mind was Faith and Repentance which upon diligent Search of my Heart I hope I have First For Faith If I have true Faith I shall certainly be saved so saith the holy Scriptures He that believes shall be saved Joh. 3. 16. For God so loved the World that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoeever believeth in him should not perish but have Everlasting Life Now Faith in Christ is described in the Assemblies Catechism to be a saving Grace whereby we receive and rest upon Christ alone for Salvation as he is offered to us in the Gospel which I hope I desire to do I hope I do most heartily desire to take Christ on his own Terms as King Priest and Prophet in all his Offices and am willing to be ruled by him as well as saved by him I hope I desire to rest upon Jesus Christ alone for Salvation and own no other Saviour but him I hope I have the Faith of Reliance to rest and center in Christ I hope I can with all my Soul throw my self upon the Mercy of God in Christ and if I perish to perish there trusting in him that I shall not perish Blessed be God! I am often lifting up my Heart to Christ O my dear Jesus Blessed Jesus on thee on thee alone I rest when I am in Fears and Doubts and Troubles I hope I desire to say with the Church In the Lord have I Righteousness and Strength Righteousness for Justification and Strength for Sanctification and the subduing of Sin I hope I desire to renounce any Trust in my own Righteousness and Duties and wholly to rely and rest upon Jesus Christ When I have performed any Duty I desire to own that I deserve Hell for the sinful Imperfections of it yea for the best Duty I can perform And to have my Trust only in the Death and Merits Satisfaction and Intercession of Christ Tho' Spiritual Pride is very apt to rise in me yet I hope I do not allow it the Lord set my Heart more against it I hope I desire with the Apostle Phil. 3. 9. to be found in him not having my own Righteousness which is of the Law but that which is through the Faith of Christ the Righteousness which is of God by Faith I hope Christ is precious to me now that is an Evidence of Faith 1 Pet. 2. 7. To you that believe he is precious I hope I desire to prize Christ above all the World and if I know my Heart I would not part with the Hopes I have by Christ of Heaven for ten thousand Worlds I hope I desire to prize Jesus Christ as the Chiefest of ten thousand altogether lovely The Lord make me upright in this Matter that I may see the Worth and Excellency that is in him so as to be in love with him Secondly For Repentance If I have that Grace I am sure to be saved Acts 3. 19. Repent ye therefore and be converted that your Sins may be blotted out when the Times of refreshing shall come from the Presence of the Lord. Luke 13. 3. Except ye repent ye shall all likewise perish therefore if we do repent we shall not perish Now Repentance is described to be a saving Grace whereby a Sinner out of the true sense of his Sin and apprehension of the Mercy of God in Christ doth with grief and hatred of his Sin turn from it unto God with full purpose of and endeavours after new Obedience I hope the Lord hath wrought this Repentance in me I hope he hath given me a true Sight and Sense of Sin and that I am convinced of the Evil and Danger of it I hope I have an apprehension also of the Mercy of God in Christ I do not at all doubt but there is Mercy enough in God through Christ to forgive and pardon the greatest Sins if they are repented of The Lord hath declared himself to be the Lord God gracious and merciful pardoning Iniquity Transgression and Sin Exod 34. 6. I hope I desire to be truly sorry for all my Sins to grieve and mourn for them tho' my Heart be hard yet I hope I could be glad if it were broken that I could mourn more for my Sins Surely it hath been a Trouble to me many times in Confession of Sin that I could not mourn and weep and was not affected as I desired I hope I desire to hate Sin also the Lord work a true Hatred of all Sin more and more in me I hope I desire to turn from all Sin unto God with full purpose of Heart to cleave to him I hope the Bent of my Soul is right for God tho' I have many Failings and Miscarriages I hope the full Purpose and Resolution of my Heart is for God and his Ways It being upon my Mind what I had further to note that might be an Evidence of Grace I hope these things following which it pleased God to bring to my Thoughts may be some ground to believe God hath wrought savingly upon me Surely I do confess my Sins often to the Lord in secret and desire to have my Heart penitently affected with them and
to be for ever with him hereafter January the 30th 1682. I spent this Day in a Secret Fast in my Closet the main End I proposed to my self was to search again my Heart to find out whether there was a Work of Grace wrought in me or no also that I might get Corruption more subdued that is yet strong in me and that I may be inabled to suffer for Christ if I am called to it c. I hope I desired to be hearty in the Work tho' Hardness and Deadness was too much upon me The Lord forgive I hope I may say to the Glory of God that he hath begun that good Work in me that he will perfect of the Day of Christ I did earnestly beg of the Lord that I might not be deceived and hope I am not I trust the Lord hath pluck'd me out of a Natural Estate and turned my Heart from Sin unto himself The Lord grant I may now live answerable to the great things he hath done for me and keep the Covenant I have this Day renewed January the 30th 1684. I kept as a Fast and spent a good part of the Morning in Secret Prayer After Family Duty I went to hear a Sermon and then back to my Closet where I spent the rest of the Day The Ends I proposed to my self were That God would help me against Worldliness and distrust of his Providence for I have been much troubled of late by reason of many Losses and Trade being fallen almost to nothing and quiet my Mind and enable me to trust him and withal direct me how to proceed as to Earthly Things having some Thoughts of leaving this House And I desired also to be fitted for the Lord's Supper and that I might have Strength to suffer whatever God should call me to And in reference to the Publick I desired to seek God for Mercy to his Church and to these Nations I began with reading some Portion of God's Word then examined my self of the State of my Soul by some Characters of Grace in this Book I hope I desired heartily the Help of God and earnestly begg'd I might give a right Judgment of my self and was affraid of doing otherwise I hope I may say to God's Glory Surely there is somewhat of a Work of Grace that he hath graciously wrought in my Soul and that I am not dead in Trespasses and Sins Blessed O blessed be his Name I am not affected as I ought but am apt to fear still knowing my Heart is deceitful The Lord help me to be much in this trying Work for I cannot make too sure of my Salvation The Lord remove Doubts and Fears and strengthen my Faith in him and in his Promises After Self-examination I spent the rest of my Time in Prayer and hope I was hearty therein The Lord hear my poor Prayers for my self for my Children and for the Publick I also read over my Covenant entred into with the Lord many Years since and I renewed Covenant with God The Lord help me to live answerably and that Sin may be more subdued and Grace strengthened that I may find the Benefit of this Day while I live and be fitted for the everlasting Enjoyment of God in Glory February the 6th 1685. I kept a Fast by my self The main thing I had upon my Heart was the low Estate of the Church and of these Nations as also to search into the State of my Soul to get my Heart more taken off the World to have Corruption mortified and be enabled to suffer for Christ if called to it and never to forsake him I bless God I had his Assistance and hope I was hearty in the Work and that upon Trial I may say God hath begun a good Work which he will carry on and perfect to the Day of Jesus Christ O that I might make more sure of Christ and Grace and Heaven especially when I can make sure of nothing below but am at such Uncertainties as to all outward things The Lord help me to live in some measure answerable to his great Mercies and to keep the Covenant with him that I have this Day renewed Things whereby a Man may examine and judge of himself 1. If you would be saved you must by deep and serious Repentance forsake the World and Sin and turn to God in Christ and firmly believe in him 2. You must resign and devote your self to be the Lord's 3. You must take the Favour of God for your Happiness 4. You must be diligent in the Use of all holy Means and Duties 5. You must study the Scriptures to know God's Mind and do it 6. The whole Course of your Lives will be set to please and honour God Now examine whether you are like to be saved How is it O my Soul as to these things Do I go in the broad Way or not Let not the Devil keep you from this Self-Examination if he can prevail for that you may make a great Profession and do many things and yet perish for ever Judge of thy self by these things and seriously enquire 1. Whether Eternal Salvation have the Preheminence of your Esteem and Choice that you prefer it before all Wordly Prosperity 2. Is the obtaining of this Salvation and preparing for it the great Business of your Lives 3. Under the Sense of Sin do you give up your selves to Christ as the only Physician of Souls to heal and help and save you 4. Is it the sincere Desire of your Souls that you may be saved from Sin as well as Hell From the Power and Practice of Sin as well as from the Wrath of God 5. What is the Matter of thy Comfort Is it to converse with God To look up to him with Hope of his Acceptance Doth the Light of God's Countenance give thee more Joy than the Increase of Riches Canst thou say from thy Heart thou hadst rather be poor and despised and miserable in this World with God's Favour than to be the greatest Person in the World and God to be thine Enemy Examine by such Things as these O let me be in earnest for Christ and Grace and never rest till it be put out of Doubt that God in Christ is my God and that he hath made an everlasting Covenant with me If this be not I am undone for ever But this I must obtain or my Soul shall be in Bitterness before the Lord while I have a Being Nothing shall comfort me while I am Graceless and without Christ I am resolved for Him his Grace and Favour against all Denials If God will not let me see the Good of his Chosen and reveal his Christ and Grace in me I will mourn I will mourn while I live If God will not comfort me nothing else shall If I may not find Rest and Peace in Christ I will have none at all If God will take no Pleasure in me I will take none in my self My Tears shall be my Meat continually I
will go mourning in this World while I have a Day to live till Christ shall please to cast an Eye of Grace and Mercy on me Nay let it come to this I cannot live if God be not reconciled If Christ be not mine my Spirit fails If the Lord do not relieve me there is nothing No abiding for me unless he speak a Word of Peace When the Soul is brought to this I must have an Interest in Christ or nothing will satisfie me such an one shall find Acceptance Therefore be in good earnest and let the Desires of the Soul rise up to an holy Restlesness O wretched Negligence that we can let the greatest Concerns of our Souls lie at Hazard all our Days Ten Questions to ask our Hearts Thus Mr. Steel advis'd we should often commune with our Hearts I. What have I been if now I am changed I was a wretched Sinner II. What Good have I done that God may have the Glory and I the Comfort III. How have I done it IV. What have I neglected The slothful Servant is condemn'd who had Talents but did no good with them What Duties have I neglected and how many Opportunities of doing good omitted V. What State am I in Am I in a gracious or sinful State in Christ or in my Sins If I am in Christ he rules if in Sin that reigns VI. What Frame am I in Am I in a gracious or worldly Frame of Heart VII What do I Am I in my Calling and in the way of my Duty Am I now doing the Will of God VIII Whither am I going Towards Heaven or Hell Every Moment I take a Step to one of them IX How far am I on my Way to Heaven X. What shall I do to be saved Salvation is to be had how shall I attain it His Covenant with God O Most Dreadful God! for the Passion of thy Son I beseech Thee accept of thy poor Prodigal now prostrating himself at thy Door I have fallen from Thee by mine Iniquiry and am by Nature a Son of Death 〈◊〉 a thousand-fold more the Child of Hell by 〈◊〉 wicked Practice but of thine Infinite Grace Thou hast promised Mercy to me in Christ if I will but turn to thee with all my Heart Therefore upon the Call of thy Gospel I am now come in and throwing down my Weapons submit my self to thy Mercy And because thou requirest as the Condition of my Peace with thee that I should put away mine Idols and be at Defiance with all thine Enemies which I acknowledge I have wickedly sided with against thee I here from the bottom of my Heart renounce them all firmly Covenanting with thee Not to allow my self in any known Sin but to use conscientiously all the Means that I know thou hast prescribed for the Death and utter Destruction of all my Corruptions And whereas I have formerly inordinately and idolatrously let out my Affections upon the World I do here resign my Heart to thee that mad'st it humbly protesting before thy Glorious Majesty That it is the firm Resolution of my Heart and that I do unfeignedly desire Grace from thee that when thou shalt call me hereunto I may practise this my Resolution through thy Assistance to forsake all that is dear unto me in this World rather than to turn from thee to the Ways of Sin and that I will watch against all its Temptations whether of Prosperity or Adversity lest they should withdraw my Heart from thee beseeching thee also to help me against the Temptations of Satan to whose wicked Suggestions I resolve by thy Grace never to yield my self a Servant And because my own Righteousness is but menstruous Rags I renounce all Confidence therein and acknowlege that I am of my self a hopeless helpless undone Creature without Righteousness or Strength And for as much as thou hast of thy bottomless Mercy offered most graciously to me wretched Sinner to be again my God through Christ if I would accept of thee I call Heaven and Earth to record this Day that I do here solemnly avouch thee for the Lord my God and with all possible Veneration bowing the Neck of my Soul under the Feet of thy most Sacred Majesty I do here take Thee the Lord Jehovah Father Son and Holy Ghost for my Portion and Chief Good and do give up my self Body and Soul for thy Servant promising and vowing to serve thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the Days of my Life And since thou hast appointed the Lord Jesus Christ the only Means of coming unto thee I do here upon the bended Knees of my Soul accept of him as the only new and living Way by which Sinners may have Access to thee and do here solemnly join my self in a Marriage-Covenant to him O blessed Jesus I come to thee hungry and hardly bestead poor and wretched and miserable and blind and naked a most loathsome polluted Wretch a guilty condemned Malefactor unworthy for ever to wash the Feet of the Servants of my Lord much more to be solemnly married to the King of Glory But sith such is thine unparallel'd Love I do here with all my Power accept thee and do take thee for my Head and Husband for better for worse for richer for poorer for all Times and Conditions to love and honour and obey thee before all others and this to the Death I embrace thee in all thine Offices I renounce my own Worthiness and do here avow thee for the Lord my Righteousness I renounce mine own Wisdom and do here take thee for my only Guide I renounce my own Will and take thy Will for my Law And since thou hast told me that I must suffer if I will reign I do here Covenant with thee to take my Lot as it falls with thee and by thy Grace assisting to run all Hazards with thee verily purposing that neither Life nor Death shall part between thee and me And because thou hast been pleased to give me thy holy Laws as the Rule of my Life and the Way in which I should walk to thy Kingdom I do here willingly put my Neck under thy Yoke and set my Shoulder to thy Burden and subscribing to all thy Laws as holy just and good I solemnly take them as the Rule of my Words Thoughts and Actions promising that tho' my Flesh contradict and rebel yet I will endeavour to order and govern my whole Life according to thy Direction and will not allow my self in the Neglect of any thing that I know to be my Duty Only because through the Frailty of my Flesh I am subject to many Failings I am bold humbly to protest that unallowed Miscarriages contrary to the settled Bent and Resolution of my Heart shall not make void this Covenant for so thou hast said Now Almighty God Searcher of all Hearts thou knowest that I make this Covenant with thee this Day without any known Guile or Reservation beseeching thee That if thou espiest any Flaw
tho' a Man had the Guilt of as many Sins lying on his Soul as there be drops of Water in the Ocean and if they were of as long Continuance as from the Creation of the World and aggravated with as hainous Circumstances as any of the vilest Sinners in Hell yet there is Merit enough in the Blood of Christ to take away the Guilt of all those Sins and when that is done Merit enough left to purchase as great a Glory as any Saint in Heaven enjoys But let none thereupon presume to go on in Sin for there is not a Word of Comfort in the whole Bible for such an one He that is affraid of too much Grace hath none at all He who is unwilling to be made better is not yet good In the most afflicted Condition of a Saint he hath more reason to question his own Love to God than God's Love to him God takes as much Care of every one of his Children as if he had but one to care for Our Times are in the Hand of God If they were in our Enemies Hands our Afflictions and Trials would be too long if in our own too short But because in the Hand of God Deliverance shall be seasonable and in due time Had we ten thousand Lives and Estates to lose and lay down for Christ one Hour's Communion with him in Glory will recompence for all our Self-denial whatever we have done or suffered That Man lives unlawfully who doth not sometimes abstain from lawful things Make it thy Business to act Grace and then trust God to bring in Comfort God is yours if you are unfeignedly willing to be his He that can from his Heart say Lord I am thine may on good grounds be assur'd that the Lord is his God That Man whom God cannot satisfie nothing can for God is to his People whatever they can desire or need Sight to the Blind Bread to the Hungry Cloathing to the Naked Strength to the Weak a Physician to the Sick Pardon to the Guilty Comfort to the Mourners Life in Death and Everlasting Life after Death When the Devil suggested to a good Man That it was in vain for him to mind God for he should never get to Heaven He replied I will then follow hard after him and keep close to him that I may enjoy as much as possible of God here on Earth Where Sin lies heavy every Affliction will be light 'T was the Saying of the Noble Marquess of Vico Their Money perish with them who think all the Wealth in the World worth one Hour's Communion with Jesus Christ Since no Man can see thee and live Lord let me die said an holy Man that I may see thee and be with thee If your Condition be never so low if your Hearts be lower it is well enough the Issue will be good And while God the Fountain is left you need not much complain for want of a broken Cistern While others live without God in the World a Christian should endeavour to live as without the World in and upon his God The same Love of God which leads one Christian into the Wine-Cellar and gives him Assurance may lead another into a Prison for the Trial and Exercise of his Grace In Prayer if a Man have not a care of the first Wandrings of his Heart from God he will hardly be able to recover himself afterwards 'T was a memorable Saying of a Great Man He may be deceived who thinks to save any thing by his Religion more than his Soul Before a Man is humbled he complains of God's Unkindness to him but afterwards of his own to God God had one Son without any Sin our Blessed Redeemer but never any Son without some Affliction and Suffering Blessed be God we have any thing to deny or lose or count nothing for Christ A Believer prays with Fervency as if he would not be delay'd and then waits patiently as if he had not prayed If you can say God is your God and all that is in the World is his how can your fear Want If he be not All-sufficient why do you call him so If he be why do you not trust in him If the Lord be good to the Soul that seeks him how good is he to the Soul that finds him If saith Jerom my Father and Mother did with Tears intreat me and my Wife hang about my Neck and my Children fall at my Feet to beseech me to forsake Christ I would cast them all off Father Mother Wife and Children and say Farewel all welcome Christ THE following Account of the Conversion of his Niece will give farther Testimony to his Charity Zeal and Diligence to promote Religion in his Family and how God honoured him by the Lustre of an holy Example to recommend serious Godliness to those who saw his Conversation and by his seasonable Counsels to assist the Recovery of one who under great Convictions and Temptations was in Danger to be lost by too long concealing of the State of her Case from such as could advise and direct her A short Account of the Conversion of Mrs. P. F. as she left it under her Hand before her Death I Am now going about to call to mind the great Mercy and Goodness of the Lord towards me the unworthiest of all his Servants to record his Loving-kindness and to make mention of the many and great Deliverances I have had I know not where to begin nor where to make an end I am even swallowed up in Admiration and ready to cry out with David What shall I render to the Lord for all his Benefits especially when I consider my own Vileness by Nature and how I deserved to be cast into Hell as soon as I was born as having an Heart full of Sin Vanity and Rebellion against God being conceived in Sin and born in Iniquity And as if this had not been enough I have added numberless most hainous Transgressions I have reason to bewail the Sins of my Thoughts I was thinking Thoughts of Pride and Vanity as soon as I could think I was running away from God as soon as I could go with my Back towards Heaven and my Face towards Hell After I came to Years of Discretion the more I knew of God the more I sinned against him The Sins of my Youth have been innumerable and very hainous in their Nature so that I have cause to pray with David Lord remember not against me the Sins of my Youth O the precious Time I have lost and the Golden Opportunities that I have squandred away The Light and Love the Mercies and Means of Grace that I have sinned against I have spent the best of my Years in the Service of Sin and in the Neglect of the great Concerns of my Soul I confess when I was but a Child since I had any Understanding I had always some Love to the Ways and People of God and some Delight in Holy Duties and was fearful of
Sin especially of Lying and Stealing and playing upon the Sabbath-Day I delighted to read the Word of God and good Books to others but I did not apply it to my self as when I read that Scripture that except we repent we shall all perish Except we are born again we cannot see the Kingdom of God That the Wicked shall be turned into Hell c. I thought these did not concern me because I was guilty of no gross Sin I reckon'd my Condition was good and I was ready to pity others but I was not sensible of the Corruption and Defilement of my Nature I did not see the Need of a Change I was not sensible of my undone Condition without Christ I saw not his Excellency nor had any Desires after him I knew not upon what Terms I must take him if I would be saved As to the outward Duties of Religion I lived in the Performance of many of them but as for the more inward and spiritual Duties of Christianity such as Self-examination Meditation Self-denial mourning for Sin and watching over my Thoughts Words and Actions strict Observation of the Lord's Day c. to these I was altogether a Stranger Thus I went on in Rebellion against God having a Form of Godliness but denying the Power And if God had then cut me off in my Unregeneracy certainly Hell-Fire must have been my Portion He might have sworn in his Wrath that I should never enter into his Rest O the wonderful Patience and Forbearance of the Lord towards such a sinful Creature It is a Miracle of Mercy I am yet on this side the Grave and Hell It is of the Lord's Mercy that I am spared so long and that he gives me space to repent that he should afford me the Means of Grace and send his holy Spirit to strive with me and give me many Convictions and all to reclaim me and bring me home to himself And that he should not only give me space to repent but an Heart to repent That he should not only stand waiting and knocking at the Door of my Heart so many Years calling on me to repent but that he should give me the Grace of Repentance This is undeserved Love and distinguishing Mercy For I was dead in Trespasses and Sins and had nothing but my Misery to move his Compassion I walked according to the course of this World I was insensible of my Danger tho' ready to drop into Hell every moment And I should certainly have perished had not the Lord been pleased to open my Eyes and to pluck me as a Fire-brand out of the burning and set me in the way to Heaven for which I can never sufficiently adore and praise his glorious Grace in Christ to me a vile sinful Creature Great was his Mercy towards me for he hath delivered my Soul from the lowest Hell which makes me say with David Come and hear all ye that fear the Lord and I will declare what he hath done for my Soul and the Way and Means whereby he was pleased to work upon my Heart The Manner of my Conversion which I hope is true and real is as follows It pleased the Lord by a sad Providence viz. the Sickness at London to bring my Unkle Gearing and his Family from thence to my Father's House where they continued about half a Year My Unkle being a good Man I could not but take notice of his strict and circumspect Walking and was much affected with it And I began to think surely the Way that I am in will never bring me to Heaven I thought I must live another manner of Life if ever I would be saved I had many Convictions but there I stayed but went no further I kept on in my former careless course When it pleased God to put a Stop to the Plague at London my Unkle returned with his Family and I went with him and continued at his House about two Months in which time it pleased the Lord to follow me with new Convictions partly by the good Example of my Unkle partly by many excellent Sermons which I heard when I was there so that I began in good earnest to look after the Salvation of my Soul and to say with the Goaler What must I do to be saved I began to be very desirous to hear the Word I took all Opportunities to hear and gave Attention to what was preached after another manner than I was wont to do and laboured to make Application of it to my self I heard Mr. Vincent preach upon Heb. 12. 14. Follow Holiness without which no Man shall see the Lord urging the Necessity of it as the only way to Heaven I was much affected therewith and began to think I must set about the Work of a thorow Repentance I began to be sensible of my Original Corruption and that I had been guilty of thousands of actual Sins Those which before I counted small I now look'd upon as great and upon my self by reason of Sin to be in a lamentable Condition I knew not how to get out of this sinful miserable State and the Lord was pleased to shew me that there was no Name under Heaven by which I could be saved but only by Jesus Christ I thought if I could have an Interest in Him and his Favour I should be saved but I feared God would not thus have Mercy upon me because I had gone on so long in Sin I heard an excellent Sermon upon Mat. 11. 28. Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavy loden and I will give you Rest Proving first that Sin is a Burden And secondly that burdened Sinners are invited to come to Christ and then that those that come to him shall find Rest for their Souls This was a sutable Word to my Soul I was much affected in the hearing of in for I felt Sin to be a Burden no my Conscience and I would fain have Rest to my Soul I was sensible of my Want of Jesus Christ and of the absolute Necessity to be interested in him I began to see his Worth and Excellency as the chiefest of Ten thousands altogether lovely And then and not till then I had Hungerings and Thirstings after him so that I could say None but Christ give me Christ or else I die Thus it pleased the Lord by his Spirit to work upon my Heart by degrees to open mine Eyes and to let in some Spiritual Light into my Understanding which was dark before and to give some Spiritual Life to my Affections which were dead before But O the Enemies that did then labour to hinder my Conversion and stop this Work The World by Allurements and Discouragements sought to keep me off from Christ My own deceitful Heart and corrupt Disposition within me were no small Enemy and Hinderance to the Work of Grace in my Soul The Devil the great Adversary of God's Glory and our Happiness came like a roaring Lion ready to devour me so that I
but a weak Faith if he meet with no Temptation shall scarce know what doubting means and a Man of a strong Faith under strong Temptations may not be able to overcome Fears and Doubts If Assurance did exclude all Doubts and Fears then it should be perfect but as our Faith and all other Graces are imperfect so is Assurance also None have Assurance at all times it is like the Weather sometimes fair sometimes foul yea in the same Day fair in the Morning and cloudy before Night David had such strong Faith at one time that he would not fear tho' ten thousand set themselves against him he would not fear tho' he should pass through the Valley of the shadow of Death At another time he was so full of Fear that he saith he shall one Day perish by the Hands of Saul V. We can never have too high too vast Thoughts of the Goodness of God we do not think aright of God if we do not think him more ready to give than we are to ask There is nothing thou canst go to God for that is according to his Will but he is ten thousand times more ready to bestow than thou art to ask A Child of God may go to him with as full Confidence of his Love as a Child to the most tender Parent in the World nay much more abundantly The blessed Majesty of Heaven is inclined to succour and relieve those that are in Distress and Misery He that puts Bowels of Compassion and Pity into Man shall not he himself be much more pitiful and compassionate Exod. 34. 6. He is merciful and gracious he delights in nothing more than in shewing Mercy You can do nothing more grateful to God nor please him better than to plead for Mercy Mich. 7. 18. When thou pleadest for Mercy thou hast God's Nature pleading the same thing for thee All the yearning Bowels of the most compassionate Parents in the World are but a meer Shadow to the Bowels of God We may go to God in Confidence of being heard for Christ's sake only as if we had never sinned 't is wonderful what the Scripture saith of Faith and Prayer VI. This also may help to sustain and comfort a poor doubting tender Heart that fears and suspects himself of Hypocrisie that those very Fears of thine are some shew of the contrary Men naturally love and flatter themselves but thou loathest thy self for thy Corruptions Be of good cheer 't is Grace and nothing but Grace that complains of Sin 'T is Sincerity and nothing else that discovers and bewails Hypocrisie Especially when thou bewailest Heart-Hypocrisie and such secret and hidden Sins that only God and thy own Heart do know If thou livest not in any known Sin nor in neglect of any known Duty if thou wouldest find out thy Sin if there is no Sin thou wouldest have hid from God's Eye and no Duty thou wouldst have hid from thy own Eye if there is no Sin but thy Heart is against it and no Duty but thy Heart is for it this proves thy Uprightness VII If God never makes his Face to shine on thee in this World yet 't is thy Duty to trust and cleave to him through Christ Would you know why God when he hath wrought Grace doth not enable the Soul presently to perceive it It may be 't is that Sin may be more bitter If we could have Comfort when we would we should have very slight thoughts of Sin Upon sight of thy Graces possibly thou wouldst be proud to hide this Pride God hides our Graces from us It may be God doth it to prove thy Obedience to him for to rely on God's Grace and live by Faith without sensible Tokens of it is the purest Act of Obedience that can be By Assurance we get more Comfort to our selves but by believing we give more Glory to God Therefore saith Christ to Thomas Blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed When you have any Evidence of Grace you must be sure to rest only on Christ and trust to him The great Work of a Christian in this World is out of a sense of his Sins and Weaknesses daily to depend on Christ looking to Christ seeing our need of Christ for Pardon and Sanctification and Reconciliation every day This is our great Work How many search for Grace and neglect to put forth Acts of Faith on Christ Alas Graces are but Tokens from Christ Let us not forget depending and relying on the blessed Jesus tho' we have no fight at all of any Grace in our selves Where a Person hath any one sign of Grace he may warrantably conclude all the rest to be there tho' at present he perceive them not 'T is the truth and not the measure and degree of your Grace you are to conclude your State by The prizing and loving and seeking and delighting in the Love and Favour of God above all is a certain Evidence of Grace VIII The greatest sense of Sin and Guilt should discourage none from coming to God for Mercy through Christ because the Mercies of God are infinitely more than a Sinner's Provocations are or can be O 't is boundless Mercy bottomless Mercy There are many like Sinners as thou art but there is none like God for pardoning and forgiving mercy Mic. 6. 18. My thoughts are not your thoughts nor my ways your ways As the heaven is higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts Isa 55. 8. When Conscience is awakened we are ready to doubt whether God will pardon us therefore he fetches Arguments from his gracious and merciful Nature My ways are not your ways If you repent your Sins shall infinitely be out-done We are apt to think God like our selves but the blessed God is of tender Bowels slow to Wrath loth to take Vengeance ready to forgive the greatest Wrong and receive the Sinner into his Favour upon true Repentance There is saith God as vast a difference between my Disposition and Dealing and yours as between Heaven and Earth Thou that art an awakened convinced Sinner the Promises of the Gospel belong unto thee Isa 61. 1. The Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings to the meek to bind up the broken-hearted and to comfort all that mourn Canst thou desire to be in a better Case than those whom Christ hath Commission to take care of The Poor in Spirit the Mourners for their Sins those that hunger after Righteousness not having a drop of Comfort from themselves Christ blesseth and pronounces happy Blessed are the poor in Spirit Not one of them would the Lord have kept from coming to him Mat. 11. 28. Come to me All Ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest Trust to me you that are troubled in Conscience for Sin I will bring you to rest in God's Love and Favour Be not discouraged there is a Mediator for thee whose Worthiness and