hang over your heads and fright you with its dreadful Presages whereever you went and on the contrary if all the people in the world were your Enemies and he your Friend his Love would sweeten all their Hatred his Voice would still all their Clamours his Arm would fence off all their Blows and under the Wings of his Providence you might lye down and sleep in peace He can save you when you have destroyed your selves when you have run to the very door and the gates of Hell he can pull you back When you are even dying he can strengthen and revive you 'T is with him that you have principally to do to him must you therefore pray because from him alone can your help come When Adam had committed sin he was afraid and took no pleasure even in Paradise tho as one says the Sun shined upon his head with as gentle and refreshing Beams the Rivers ran as clear as before the Birds sung with as Melodious a Voice the Flowers had as fragrant a smell the Herbs were cloathed with as fresh a Verdure and all the Fruits flourished as before but from the poor man Peace and Innocence was fled away all without was calm but he found a tempest rising in his own Breast which he knew not how to lay Those of us that have by woful experience felt the Terrors of the Lord know that all the advices of our Friends all their Arguings and Discourses all their Entreaties and their Prayers gave us no manner of ease till God Himself was pleased to command Salvation for us Job 34.29 When he giveth quietness who can make trouble and when he hideth his face who can then behold him whether it be done against a nation or a man only The greater are our Distresses the more fervent should our Prayers be and when the Winds are highest and the Storms encrease and threaten us with Shipwrack and with Ruine the nearness and the greatness of our danger must cause us with more speed to arise and call upon our God Therefore though you have the sense of his displeasure yet say there is none can help me but God himself there is none can heal my diseases or forgive my sins but he therefore as long as I live will I pray and call upon him till he have Mercy upon me Secondly Tho you are under the sense of God's Anger you have encouragement to pray from many Promises and from the Office and the Name of Christ That Mediator that well remembers what he felt when he groaned under his Father's Wrath knows also with what Flames your Souls are scorched With a most compassionate eye does he look upon you and will awake to promote your Safety if you do but say as the poor frighted Disciples Master save us or else we perish 'T is true he is attended with Illustrious Spirits some of which were never thus sick and others whom he has fully cured but in the Throng of his Admiring Courtiers in the midst of their Chearful and pleasant Hallelujahs his Heart is concerned for you and his Ears will be open to your Cry his Intercession gives you good ground of hope he ever lives to manage that glorious and honourable Work and having an unchangeable Priesthood he is able to save them to the uttermost that come to God by him Heb. 7.25 To the uttermost is as one observes Dr. Goodwin Triumph of Faith from Christ's Intercession p. 199. a good word and put in for our Comfort For says he let thy soul be set upon the highest mount that ever any creature was yet set upon and that it is inlarged to take in and view the most spacious Prospect both of Sin and Misery and difficulties of being saved that ever yet any poor humbled soul did cast within it self yea join to these all the objections and hindrances of thy Salvation that the heart of man can suppose or invent against it self lift up thy eyes and look to the utmost thou canst see and Christ by his Intercession is able to save thee beyond the Horizon and furthest compass of thy Thoughts even to the utmost and the worst case the heart of man can suppose Cry often to God Oh pity me a poor helpless sinner for the sake of Christ he bore thy wrath turn it away from me for I am not able to bear it The Name of Jesus carries Comfort and Salvation with it He is a perfect Saviour in every time of need The Name of Jesus Christ tells you that his Office is to do good to the miserable to heal the diseased to open the eyes of the blind to preach good tidings to the meek to bind up the broken-hearted to proclaim liberty to the captives and the opening of the prison to them that are bounds Isa 61.1 You are to pray in that name which was celebrated by all the Patriarchs and Holy Men of old by the Prophets and by the Priests under the Law tho it was then wrapt up in obscure Types and Representations that Name in which God himself delights at which the Angels bow with Reverence and at which the Devils tremble that Name which is great in Heaven and Earth in which you were baptized and in which you must place all your hopes in this you may implore assistance in all your wants and this may furnish you with an holy confidence for 't is the Name of the Son of God of his entirely Beloved Son and it would be a Reproach to this Great and Venerable Name to pray with distrustful thoughts Oh let this be a support to you that you may have access to God by this Name which has been dear to all the Faithful and must be so to you and which has been the refuge of many a poor trembling Soul This is the Name which the Saints of God have mentioned in all their straits with great delight of which they were pleased frequently to hear and to speak and which was the Joy of their Hearts and for which they refused not to suffer Death Some have taken the pains to observe that it is mentioned in the Epistles of Paul 220 times and often in the Gospel of John so sweet so dear to them was the Name of Jesus This is the first General way of Relief that they who are under the sense of God's Anger ought to take viz. To Pray unto him So Jer. 10.24 O Lord correct me but with judgment not in thine anger lest thou bring me to nothing Psal 39.10 Remove thy stroke away from me for I am consumed by the blow of thine hand Psal 85.4 6 7. Psal 38.21 22. Psal 138.3 Psal 143.2 CHAP. VIII Of Faith in Christ as another Help under the sense of God's displeasure And the several tendencies it hath to calm an afflicted Soul under long and sore Tryals SEcond General When you are under the sense of God's Anger for your Sins act Faith upon God and Christ Faith I may well say is the Mother
Edinburgh was Twenty years in terrors of Conscience and yet delivered afterwards You may also direct them to the Lives of Mrs. Brettergh Mrs. Drake Mr. Peacock and Mrs. Wight where they will see a very chearful day returning after a black and stormy night and that the Issue from their Afflictions was more glorious than their Conflict was troublesom They went forth weeping they sowed in Tears but they reaped an Harvest of wonderful Joys afterwards You have in the Book of Martyrs written by Mr. Fox an instance of Mr. Glover who was worn and consumed with inward trouble for the space of Five years that he neither had any comfort in his Meat nor any quietness of Sleep nor any pleasure of Life he was so perplexed as if he had been in the deepest Pit of Hell yet at last this good Servant of God after so sharp temptations and the strong buffetings of Satan was freed from all his trouble and was thereby framed to great Mortification and was like one already placed in Heaven and led a Life altogether Celestial abhorring in his mind all prophane things and you have a remarkable instance of mighty joy in Mr. Holland a Minister who having the day before he died meditated upon the 8th of the Romans he cried on a sudden Stay your Reading What brightness is it that I see They told him it was the Sun-shine Nay saith he my Saviour's shine Now farewell World and welcome Heaven the day-star from an high hath visited my heart O speak it when I am gone and let it be Preached at my Funeral God dealeth familiarly with Man I feel his Mercy I see his Majesty whether in the Body or out of the Body God he knoweth but I see things unutterable And in the Morning following he shut up his blessed Life with these blessed words O! what an happy change shall I make from Night to Day from Darkness to Light from Death to Life from Sorrow to Solace from a factious World to an Heavenly Being O! my dear Friends it pitieth me to leave you behind yet remember what I now feel I hope you shall find ere you dye That God doth and will deal familiarly with Men. And now thou fiery Chariot that came down to fetch up Eliah carry me to my happy hold and all the blessed Angels who attended the soul of Lazarus to bring it up to Heaven bear me O bear me into the bosome of my best Beloved Amen Amen Come Lord Jesus come quickly And so he fell asleep See this and several other instances in Mr. Robert Bolton's Instructions for afflicted Consciences p. 87. and 235 c. Eleventhly The next kindness you are to shew to your Melancholly Friends is heartily to pray for them Let your eyes weep for them in secret and there let your souls melt in fervent holy Prayers they are not able in a composed or a lively manner to recommend their own Case to God you may use many arguments in your Prayers their forlorn state and the greatness of their miseries may be a very powerful motive to your Supplications You know that none but God himself can help them For as Mr. Greenham says If our assistance were as an Host of Armed Soldiers if our Friends were the Princes and Governors of the Earth if our Possessions were as large as between the East and the West if our Meat were as Mannah from Heaven if our Apparel were as costly as the Ephod of Aaron if every day were as glorious as the day of Christ's Resurrection yet if our Minds are appalled with the Judgments of God all these things would not yield us any help or consolation * See Mr. Greenham's Comfort for an Afflicted Conscience p. â—27 And you must wrestle with him on their behalf you may plead with him That his Power and Goodness will be more illustrious if he save those whom none but he himself can save and that his Grace will be more remarkable if he please to create Peace for those troubled Souls in which none but he can make a Calm and you know not but that his Light on your request may begin to shine on those who have bewailed his absence with many dreadful groans And tho your eyes be even weary with looking upwards yet continue still to wait and pray for it shall not be in vain Thus you will do them a great kindness and perform your own Duty tho perhaps they may be ready to say to you as Mr. Peacock to his Friends Take not the Name of God in vain by praying for a Reprobate And as Mr. Dod said to him when he said he could not pray Tho saith he most sicknesses hinder Prayer and therefore the Apostle James says If any Man be sick let him send for the Elders c. Yet if God stir up your Friends to pray for you he will stir up himself to hear their Prayers And do you consider that nothing but Prayer can do them good It is an obstinate disease that nothing else will overcome for it is a very slight Melancholly and which is not deeply rooted that can be drowned in Wine or chased away with sociable divertisements Some indeed tell us When they find themselves troubled their way is to bid their thoughts Battel and to oppose Thoughts against Thoughts and with the dint of Reason to subdue this peevish Humour But such must give me leave to say That they are not under the disease of Melancholly for that will neither hear Faith nor Reason till God himself by his Almighty Power work Salvation for us XII Not only pray for them but get other serious Christians to pray for them also When many good people join their requests together the cry is more acceptable and prevalent When those in the Acts joined to remember Peter in his Chains he was after that very soon delivered and in the very time of their Prayers All believers have through Jesus Christ a great interest in Heaven and the Father is willing to grant what they beg in the Name of his dear Son I my self have been greatly helped by the prayers of others and I heartily thank all those that kept any particular days wherein more solemnly to remember my distressed condition blessed be God that has not cast off their prayer nor turned away his mercy from me Every day gives us several experiences of many that have been rescued from their diseases their temptations and their fears by the Prayers of others And I might also add you have very great cause to pray for your selves that God may give you strength to bear so heavy a Cross as you are afflicted with in the afflictions of your friends Their doleful complaints their repeated groans and their long and sore trials are enough to sink you too if God do not give you wonderful support You have need to beg strong faith and great patience that you may not be unhinged with their passionate or hasty speeches XIII Put your poor
from him as we did but he designs not to raise them again they groan'd under the wrath of the mighty Judge and they must always groan under it no beam of chearful Light will shâ—ne into their Dungeon no Messenger will be dispatched to give them the glad-tidings of Salvation the anger of God threw them out of Heaven and the door is for ever shut they know this to be their woful Case and therefore they rage against him and against his Servants and his Interest in the world What could move Christ to take the nature of Man and not of Angels Heb. 2.16 to say to us Live and to suffer them to dye to visit our sinning World to set us at Liberty to set open the Prison-doors whilst he suffers them to roar in chains of wrath As they have greater Capacities and Natures more knowing than ours so they might have honoured their Creator more than we had they been redeemed but they must mourn for ever and never sing his Praise they must grieve whilst we rejoice whilst we look for our Lord they tremble in the fear of his coming whilst we have the sweetness of hope they are in anguish and vexation in despair and horror we have our Sabbaths but they have no days of rest we can through Jesus Christ call God our Father but they know him not by such a comfortable Name they feel his Power but they tast not his Love they tremble under his Vengeance but all comfort and Joy is fled away from them for ever why are we in the light and they in darkness Why is Christ a Phisician to us whilst he is a Judge to them truly nothing makes the difference but his own love and what manner of love is this 2. It was great love in Christ to bear the anger of God because now his poor tempted Servants have one to whom they may repair in all their straits Heb. 2.18 For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted he is able to succor them that are tempted 'T is a great relief to the miserable and afflicted to be pitied by others as Job 19.21 Have pity upon me have pity upon me O ye my friends for the hand of God hath touched me It is some relief when others tho they cannot help us yet seem to be truly concerned for the sadness of our case when by the kindness of their words and of their actions they do a little smooth the wounds that they cannot heal but it is an unspeakable addition to the Cross when a man is brought low under the sense of God's displeasure to have men to mock at his Calamity or to revile him or to speak roughly this does enflame and exasperate the wound that was big enough before and it is an hard thing when one has a dreadful sound in his ears to have every friend to become a Son of Thunder It is a small matter for people that are at ease to deal severely with such as are afflicted but they little know how their severe speeches and their angry words pierce them to the very soul 'T is easie to blame others for complaining but if such had felt but for a little while what it is to be under the fear of God's Anger they would find they could not but complain It cannot but make any person very restless and uneasie when he apprehends that God is his Enemy It is no wonder if he makes every one that he sees and every place that he is in a witness of his grief but now it is a Comfort in our Temptations and in our Fears that we have so compassionate a Friend as Christ is to whom we may repair Heb. 4.15 For we have not an High-Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities but was in all points tempted like as we are yet without sin Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help us in every time of need Had it not been for his Mediation the absolute and pure Deity would have been too glorious and inaccessible to us but he is cloathed with our nature and though it has undergone several alterations since he is exalted yet we are sure that he retains a tender sence of our miseries And tho he be very high he does not think it below him to regard the most troubled and sorrowful Believer He was on earth acquainted with grief Isa 53.3 And has carryed to Heaven with him a remembrance of what he felt in his own Temptations and of what he felt when his Father frown'd upon him and his own experience renders him more capable of helping us and makes him full of pity when he sees us mourn well knowing what was his own Case As God has fashioned the hearts of all men and some who have naturally more mercy and pity than others and then the holy Spirit by its renewing grace carrying their good Dispositions to greater degrees and proceeding and working usually according to their tempers so it is certain he temper'd the heart of Christ and made it of a softer mould than all the tenderness of all the men in the world put together would have made it he had such a humane nature that might be more merciful than all Men and Angels together Goodwin Christ's Heart in Heaven p. 55. Our groans and our sighs teach his Heart above and tho he does not come with help just when we desire it yet he is providing for our welfare he sends us some inward supports when we have not an immediate deliverance he will not suffer us totally to sink tho he may leave us for a while to try our faith or to let us understand our own weakness we may think that our vessel will be covered with waves when he is guiding us to shore even when we think that he is asleep and has forgot us and cares not though we be cast away only let us never cease to say Master save us or else we perish CHAP. V. Shewing the unreasonableness of long-continued angers among good People as also that the temporary effects of God's displeasure are more elegible than the wrath of Men. Of the Excellency of Religion and that the Enemies of the Church have no cause to insult over it because of its certain deliverance and the dismal Conclusion of their own Wickedness upon which account Christians have no Reason to envy their Prosperity Inf. 2. SEeing God is angry but for a moment How unreasonable are long-continued Anger 's among good People Let not the sun go down upon your wrath Neither give place to the devil Eph. 4.26 27. i. e. he that has injured or provoked another must come to a Temper and sue for a Reconciliation speedily or else before the time of solemn praying to God which was constantly at Evening and so the Exhortation bears proportion with that Matth. 5.23 24. If thou bringest thy gift unto the altar and there remembrest that
and to throw my self at his feet whom I have provoked in the submissive terms of the poor Prodigal saying Father I have sinned against heaven and before thee and am no more worthy to be called thy son And not because I have once wandred still to wander in a strange Countrey far from my proper home Our grief for sin is too great when it causes us totally to despair to give our selves over as hopeless and lost for ever This we never ought to do we weep too much when we cannot see the Goodness and the Mercy of God as well as his Justice and Severity When we think that it is good to him that he should oppress and crush the works of his own hands and when we judge him to be Tyrannical and Cruel as if he intended nothing but our Ruin and when we peremptorily say that he will not hear our Prayers nor shew us any Favour When we have no suitable thoughts of his Amiable Nature his Covenant and his Promise When by the Painfulness of the Rod we call in question all that he has ever done for us and when because he frowns we say he has thrown us off When because he delays his help we say that he will be gracious and favourable no more for ever When we charge him foolishly and either deny his Providence or blame his Conduct because he uses not so gentle a method towards us as we would have him to take or when from our distress we make desperate Conclusions of him or of our selves And most of all when seeing that others whom we reckon as great sinners as our selves to be in health and peace whilst we groan and languish we are apt to say Psal 73 11. We have cleansed our hearts in vain That it is a vain thing to be Religious to fear such a God who suffers his Servants to be so very much afflicted and with such sort of sorrows that are more spiritual and consequently more bitter than the rest of the world is acquainted withal 3. We are then too much troubled for our sins when that trouble does not only indispose us for duty for if it be attended with pain and trouble if will be apt so to do but when it â—â—â—kes us altogether to omit our duty that we owe to God when our sorrows damp our affections which are the wings of our souls to carry us up to God When it causes us to mind nothing else but what is sad and grievous When our sorrow swells to so great a height that it covers with its imperious Waves all the foundations and grounds of Peace and Comfort it was not so as some have observed with our Blessed Lord for when he was upon the Cross he was in extreme in a mighty pain and violent agonies and yet did not these take away from him his care for his Mother So the Good Thief in the midst of his pangs laboured to gain his fellow and to save his own soul and to glorify Christ These were indeed extraordinary instances for our sickness may be such that all that we can perform to God is a quiet submission to his will and a desire of the Prayers of others thus our forrows for sin are excessive when they make us to give over Prayer or Hearing or the like Duties when they unstring our Harps and dull our Traises and make us unfit for our Calling 4. When our sorrow puts us upon indirect means for relief when we put that trust in men that should be placed in God when we expect that Cure from them which he alone is able to give when we seek it in vain Company in Recreations or the things of this World but if our fense of God's displeasure be very great we soon know that all these things are of no value XIII Call to mind those experiences that you have heretofore had of the goodness of God remember the years of the right hand of the most High you are now fearing his Wrath But can you not remember the time when his Love was your dayly solace and delight You are now complaining that he does not hear your cry But how many Prayers has he sent back with a gracious answer How many times have you laid at his feet in humiliation and tears and his hand has wiped your tears away How many times when you have been fainting has his Word revived your poor troubled souls And tho' his Word be now bitter to your taste and fill you with Gall and Wormwood yet it is still able to revive you Those places of Scripture that heretofore revived you are still able to refresh you those breasts are still as full of consolation as they ever were but only you are for the present under a decay of spirits and have lost your appetite that you cannot draw that consolation thence as you used to do Do not forget the many Mercies of your Infancy your Childhood your Youth and your Riper Age how seasonable how unexpected how necessary have your Mercies been both for your bodies and your souls and tho' I know it is your abuse of them that grieves and troubles you yet remember that he that once forgave you can forgive you still and that he that did you once so much good is still able to do you good Judg. 13.23 If the Lord had meant to destroy us he would not have received a sacrifice at our hands nor have done all this for us Shall we distrust shall we forsake shall we limit a God that has been heretofore so very mericful and so gracious And tho it is very true that it is no comfort to a poor man to think that he was once rich or to a sick man to think that he was once in health for the bitterness of his present evils takes away the relish of his former comforts and when a Man has lost God in his terrible apprehensions it makes it to be more intollerable than if he had never enjoyed him yet the having once had Communion with him by his Grace and by his Spirit may give us some reason to hope that the root of the matter is in us and that God will cause it to bud and spring forth again tho' it now lye under water and be covered with many storms and tribulations And I may add also with many sins and corruptions with which we were not troubled before XIV Remember that God will not judge you according to what you are in such a woful distemper as that of Melancholly but it will go with you as you were in the time of your health This is highly necessary to be considered for many good people when they are under the disease of Melancholly which can no more be prevented than a Consumption or a Fever they are very apt to express themselves after this or the like manner I thought I had once been serious but now I see that all was a deceit I see that I heard and prayed and received
the Spices to flow forth he excites and quickens our Graces when they begin to languish and when we are lukewarm and cold he makes us to be lively and fervent in the performance of our holy Duties for as one says what the Soul is to the Body to move it to natural things to breathe to eat to walk and the like the same is the Spirit of God in our Souls to move us to spiritual actions as the fear of God love to him and trust in him and all the works of Righteousness Charity Humility Patience and Sobriety that are the motions of the new creature so that we may say of this Spirit that he is the Soul of our Souls and take away this Spirit and the Soul resembles a dead Body it has no zeal for God no compunction no tenderness When we are disconsolate one kind look from God makes us to be of good chear When our hearts are benumb'd and our Eyes are dry he melts them into tears with his Love When we are unfruitful he sends his Dew upon our branches that makes us to flourish in his Courts and to look fresh and green and when we are under Spiritual decays he causes us to thrive when we backslide he heals our backslidings he brings us through the great Mediator into a nearness to and acquaintance with himself For as far as we are distant from him so far are we removed from true and real Life When we wander he recals us he sends us fresh influences and establishes our goings when our motions are like those of a wounded body very faint and tottering 3. Eternal Life is in his favour Hence it is said That Eternal life is the gift of God Rom. 6.23 Psal 16.11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life in thy presence it fulness of joy at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore It is there that they are said to see God for the sight of his face is that which makes it to be such a glorious and delightful place His Wrath is that which kindles Hell the withholding of his Favour makes it to be such a dark and gloomy Dungeon and the clear manifestation of it does make all the Glories of the Coelestial Paradise And therefore Jacob when he had a Vision of God's Favour to him said This place is no other than the gate of Heaven Gen. 29.17 Frame not to your selves a gross and a material Happiness 't is all in the Love and Favour of God To see him fills all the Souls above with ineffable delight to be deprived of this blessed privilege fills all the Souls in misery with Mourning and Lamentation To his Saints God will be all in all his Communications will be entire and full there Lettres de Monsieur Claude p. 10. †As the Creatures are of divers orders every one receives its portion of Divine Favour different from that of others He communicates himself otherwise to the Heavens than to the Earth otherwise to an Angel than to a Man The Earth hath an Image of his firmness the Sun hath an image of his beauty the Heaven an image of his immensity and so in others but there is no Creature that has assembled in it self all the beams of the Communications of God It shall be otherwise in Paradise God shall be all things in the Saints and they shall be filled with his Favour And as he further says God is not so all in all in the Faithful here the troubles of our Conscience the weakness of our Faith the languors of our Devotion the shadows of our Knowledge our Sins our Miseries our Sickness and our Death are the fruits of the Fall and of the Malice of the Devil But in that Felicity there shall be nothing of US in us nothing of the Impression of the Devil All shall be of God our Shadows shall be swallowed up by his Light and our Weakness by his power It is a state of Glory and Glory is a mixture of all the Blessings of God in a degree Sovereignly perfect That Country that is above is indeed the Land of the Living they Live and shall never Dye But this Earth is a Region and a place of Death For beside that which is Natural the most part of men are dead in Sin and truly even those that are alive have but a weak and a fainting Life There it is that that the Saints shall be admirers of the Grace and Favour of God That after various difficulties and innumerable temptations and overwhelming fears did at last bring them to that happy Place For the poor trembling Saint that thought himself cast off and forsaken of God to find himself in his Arms in his Presence in his Heaven how great will his joy and praise be How will he ascribe all his life there to the meer Favour and Grace of God that shall set him at liberty when by his many Sins he had deserved to be bound in Eternal Chains That shall cause him to sing Hallelujahs when others weep and wail for ever How will he admire that Grace that has placed him in Heaven when so many others are in Hell And the more admire when he shall consider that this distinction of States was freely made That that Crown which will adorn his Head was freely given How will every look on God fill his Soul with a wondring Joy because he freely gave his Son How will every view of Christ encrease his wonder When he shall consider that he freely undertook the kind work of his Redemption that he freely shed his Blood and paid the debt which the Sinner himself could never pay and that he freely gave the Spirit and offered that Salvation upon easy terms without money and without price which cost him very dear All the Saints above will continually adore the Riches of his Grace that admitted them to Glory when they deserved to be shut out as well as others That they were deformed till he put his comeliness upon them That they were liable to Death till he justified them and polluted in their Natures till he renewed them and dying till he made them to live That they learned nothing but what he taught them had nothing but what he gave them did nothing but what he enabled them to do So that all must be wonderful in their Eyes from the beginning of God's design for their Salvation to the conclusion of it And when it is all finished they must with loud Praises sing Grace Grace By Grace ye are saved through faith and that not of your selves it is the Gift of God Eph. 2.8 First No common Mercy yields any Comfort without the Favour and Love of God His loving-kindness is better than life Psal 63.3 If a man have all that he can wish every thing that is splendid and delightful every thing that may please his Eye or gratify his Appetite if he have not this with the Love of God he is a Miserable man For this will mingle
will not have him to be so he would save them and they will not be saved he would bless them and they chuse to be curs'd How many are there that prefer a Lust before a Saviour and Earth before Heaven and the applause of their vain sottish Companions before the approbation of the All-seeing Judge O blind Sinners Why will you lay hands upon your selves and do all you can to deprive your Souls of Life What a sad thing is it as one says to deny sustenance to thine own Life The breath of God is in thee what shall be done to him that starveth a Prince's child Symmond 's Sight and Faith p. 214. What have we of like worth to Spiritual Vigour Agility Courage and Peace of Soul And shall we who have a door of Life at once offer contempt to Divine goodness and violence to our own Life by not using what God hath put in our hands for our relief Is there so much allurement in destruction and so much Beauty in Eternal Flames that you cannot forbear going thither Why will you suffer your Souls to starve whilst you are contriving to gratify the Flesh Why will you still serve the Devil and your own Sins Are they so good Masters will they pay you so well in the latter end Are you content to have the pleasures of Sin for a season though you lose your share in Paradise Oh what bitter reflections on so bad a choice will this cause hereafter VVhen you shall lift up your Eyes in misery and see the Kingdom of Heaven afar off and say I was once offered that Kingdom and those Joys and I would not have them I was once fair for Salvation but I slighted I might have had the Favour of God and I would not have it O my cursed Sins How you have deceived me You promised me delight and you have brought me to bitterness and wo you promised me safety and you have made me to perish Oh that some Angel or some Saint might be sent to bring me some relief The word of God told me of that Glory his Ministers earnestly intreated me to prepare for it my Friends were always bidding me to leave my wicked course my Conscience checkt me for it and I broke through all these exhortations and these checks and so am come laden with guilt to Eternal Misery I was at my Games and Sports when I should have been upon my Knees I had indeed time and strength and health and many helps and advantages O that I had all my days watcht and strived and denyed my self then I should not have come to this place of Torment O that my Sun would rise again O that I might have another Tryal and more time But alas the Judge is my Enemy I have heard my Sentence and he will not change his purpose I am condemned I am lost for ever O Sinners As you would never fall into such a hopeless state now even now seek the face of God Have you not already spent time enough in Sin in walking in the imagination of your own heatts and the sight of your own eyes Have you not loved your sottish pleasures long enough O! come leave the tents of Wickedness come and Love your God for he is ready to receive you come to him and all your sins shall be forgiven O let not Mercy it self that speaks for your hearts be denyed Who will be so good a friend as God Who will abide with you when life it self is gone And now surely the heart of some sinner or another begins to relent some that is saying with himself Though I never prayed in secret before yet now I will begin to pray Though I lost abundance of my youth and my health I will strive to lose no more I have put off God and my Conscience with vain excuses and delays but I will not put them off again He shall have my thoughts my heart and my endeavours who gave me life and I will ever admire the riches of his Love if he will pardon such a Malefactor and condescend to such a Worm and entertain such a Prodigal as I have been Inf. 6. In what a woful Condition are those poor Sinners that are without this Favour of God! To how great a danger are they every day exposed And which is a part of their misery they know it not Spiritual Death has closed their eyes and they see not where they go What a sad object is a poor sinner that is yet a stranger to this God that is every hour liable to his Eternal Wrath that seeks the Friendship and the Favour of men and has no thoughts of his Creator no dread of his Displeasure no taste or relish of his Love Surely they must be fallen into a dead sleep whom all the Terrors of the Lord all the Threats of his Word and all the Calls of his Ministers will not awaken With what peace can you eat and drink or work or rest whilst so great a God is your Enemy Will his Wrath that makes the Devils in their Hellish Agonies to roar and tremble be tolerable to you When his Vengeance pursues you whither will you run for help When he frowns what will it avail you tho all the world should smile upon you When he casts you off who will shew you pity When he condemns you who will plead your Cause Do you not know that your Life is short that your Change is near that the Judge is at the door Do you not know that this World will leave you that you may quickly go into another And can you dwell with Eternal Burnings Can you venture to go to the Judgment-Seat before you have an Interest in Christ Are you fruitless and barren here and do you think to flourish in the Coelestial Paradise Do you remain dead here under all the means of Grace and do you hope to live for ever What pleasures are those that enchant you that you will not come and taste the Joys of God Who is that that will be a better Friend than he If you laugh at destruction it will not be the further off Oh let not the Devil be your Master nor the world your God Let not sin cheat and impose upon you with its false and counterfeit Delights Others are mourning in secret after the Lord and have you not as much cause to mourn as they Others are striving with earnest Prayers and Supplications and holy Endeavours to enter in at the strait gaâ—e and will it open of it self to you Or have you not also Souls to save as well as they Others Read and Hear and Pray and do all that they can for Salvation being afraid they should fall under the Power of Eternal Death and have you no cause of fear VVhence is it that when they are running so fast in the way of Heaven you run faster in the way of Hell VVhy do you with so great a care tend and regard your Bodies to preserve
should wish to be learned and yet never read or study as if a Soldier should wish for victory and yet never fight or an Husbandman for a gainful Crop and yet neither plow nor sow It is not a careless wish for God's favour that will serve the turn you must pray constantly and resort to those places of Worship where he usually manifests his presence in his own Ordinances and read his word with reverence humility and frequency you must seek him with your whole heart you must expect and wait tho it be long for a gracious answer of your Prayers how many days will men give their attendance for some Preferment or High Place in a Prince's Court And it should not grieve us to stay for the Favour and the Love of God for when it is once bestowed it will requite all your pains and labour 1 Cor. 15. last verse You will meet in the quest of this with manifold trials and with great oppositions your Carnal Nature and your old Sins will present motives to your sense to draw you back Satan will perplex you with a thousand doubts and troubles for you may be sure this Lyon will roar when he is like to lose his Prey but nothing of this must discourage you The Favour of God is so great a mercy that you may justly be importunate and restless till you get it notwithstanding all the dangers that you meet withal No great things are obtained but with difficulty you 'll see hereafter that it was worth the while to take pains in a matter of so great consequence You now find that after all the pleasure of Sin is past it leaves a sting and fills your minds with bitterness and trouble but you 'll hereafter find nothing but comfort nothing but an overflowing-pleasure in the love of God and you 'll find it to be so very pleasant that you will wish that you had done more for him than you have done There 's not a Soul in Heaven that repents of the pains he took to get thither 3. You must he deeply sensible of your own miserable and undone state without it Luke 5.31 They that are whole need not a Physician but they that are sick Matth. 18.11 The Son of Man is come to save that which is lost Job 33.27 He looketh upon men and if any say I have sinned and perverted that which was right and it profiteth me not he will deliver his soul from going down to the pit and his life shall see the light If you are once convinced that your sins have made him angry that his Anger is very just and yet so severe that if it continue it will be intolerable If you are once sensible what a great God you have provoked what an holy Law you have broken what an Hell you have deserved you will reckon it as a great mercy that you are not already there whence there is no return If your Conscience have been awakened with a deep impression of his Wrath all the Riches the Honours and the Pleasures of this World will seem to you to be very poor and empty things The sight of Sin that has deceived you that has defiled you that has exposed you to so great danger will fill you with shame and sorrow with fear and trouble Of all your desires this will be your chief and your only desire Let me have the Favour of God whatever else I want Let me have his Favour or I dye for ever you will be restless and unsatisfied till you have the hope of this The reason why men are so industrious for all other things and so little concerned for the Favour of God is because they are blinded by the Devil and their own Lusts and under a spiritual insensibility But if you once find Sin to be bitter this will be very sweet If that has thrown you into painful Agonies and deep distress of Soul this will greatly comfort and revive you you will see then great cause to humble and to loath your self and not find any cause of pride or of the boast of the Pharisee but in the better posture and temper of the Publican say Lord be merciful to me a sinner Never did a Traveller after a tedious Journey more desire his home or a Mariner long tost with Tempests to see the quiet Shore than you will desire this Favour of God When you have been scorcht with inward thirst you will pant for this Fountain of Love wherein you may quench your thirst when you have been in a long war with God and come at length to see the danger of it Oh how beautiful will be the feet of those who are Ambassadors of Peace You will then say as it is in Luke 1.53 He bath filled the hungry with good things and the rich he hath sent empty away 4. The Favour of God is only to be had in and through Jesus Christ and you must apply your selves tn him for it It is not all your Zeal your Repentance your Self-denial or your Mortifications that of themselves will be sufficient to bring you to the Favour of God Tho you labour in his Service all the day and mourn for your Miscarriages all the night what satisfaction will this give to his offended Justice and to the honour of his violated Law We were happy indeed at our first Creation in his Love and happy had we been still had we persevered but our first Apostacy by the fall from that Innocent Condition has made a large breach between God and us and there is none found in Heaven or in Earth that can make it up but his only Son The loss of Original Righteousness has made us to lose his Favour and occasioned a vast distance between him and us this has brought forth all the miseries of the World Irregular Seasons overflowing Inundations and dreadful Wars all the sickness and pain of our Bodies and all the guilt and unquietness and disorder of our Souls in Adam we all died both natural and spiritual death came upon all because all have sinned but God has in his mercy not left us hopeless As soon as Adam fell He was pleased to provide for his rising a-again and as soon as ever he had wounded himself he did prepare a Balsom to heal and cure his Wounds and when he was stung and poisoned with the Venom of the Serpent he did prepare an Antidote The poor guilty Creature could have expected nothing but a Curse and yet God gave him the Promise of Redemption and of a Blessing by the Seed of the Woman that should break the Serpent's head when he drive Adam out of Paradise he might have put him out of Heaven and out of his Presence for evermore and have said Go and dwell with that Devil that tempted thee to sin Upon the Fall he withdrew indeed his usual Favour this raised a cloud that obscured the beauty of his morning-glory and that intercepted the beams that a little while before
heed that you do not weaken your selves for the joy of the Lord is your strength Neh. 8.10 Is it not motive enough to say that his Favour is your Life and his Displeasure is your Death Let us but take as much pains for our spiritual as for our natural Life and all will be very well When we find the least decays of Nature we are very industrious to repair them when we find the least faintness or indisposition on our spirits we have recourse to Cordials or to something that is very comfortable and reviving to refresh them when we are sick we complain of our illness we make abundance of inquiries and use a great deal of care to know what it is that will do us good we have a great value for our dear Life and are afraid of every thing that may deprive us of it and when we are in Health What do we not attempt for our own preservation What Arts do we use What provisions do we make for Meat and Drink and Cloaths and Houses and Gardens and other accommodations that we may live at ease And my Friends is not our Soul of more worth than the Body Are not its decays and its death more painful and more intollerable than all the languishing and decays of our outward Man Let us therefore as we have a great horror of natural death have no less for that which is spiritual Let us keep with a greater care the Favour of God that is our Spiritual and Eternal Life And that we may not lose it 1. Let us not grieve his Holy Spirit Ephes 4.30 Tho' we are not so happy as to have a familiar Conversation with Christ as those had who enjoyed his presence here on Earth tho' he be withdrawn from our eyes and we see him not in his exalted and glorified state yet he has sent his Spirit to dwell in our hearts and we ought with all manner of obedience and respect to treat and entertain so Divine a Guest to do nothing that is unsuitable to so great a Presence not to pollute our selves nor to defile his Temple with any sort of sin lest we grieve and vex him The Divine Nature indeed is incapable of our passions 't is above our joys and our sorrows and as 't is said of those that are upon Mount Olympus they see the Clouds gather below their feet they see the Hail and the Thunder disturb and lighten on the Plain whilest they rejoice in the pure light of the Sun In such manner the Divine Essence sees all the troubles and agitations of the Creatures remaining always in its own peace and tranquility * Claude Serm. Sur. Eph. 4.30 p. 29. This expression is borrowed from humane affections and when the Holy Spirit does that in us which our nature does when it is seized with sorrow then he is said to be grieved And if we make him sad we cannot expect that he will make us to rejoyce if we affront and abuse him he will not be our comfort if he retire all our Evidences will be covered with darkness and we shall be plunged in the lowest depths Let us therefore obey all his suggestions whatever he bids us do let us do let our minds always be yielding to his good and profitable motions let us not slight the Revelation he hath made nor be unmindful to grow in all the Graces that are pleasing to him let us remember the kindness that he does us how he chases away our darkness and when we are fainting how seasonably he does apply the Promises and brings to our remembrance those Truths that are most suitable and refreshing to us let us not grieve him by neglecting to read or meditate upon the Word which he endited or by foolish Communications by rash Anger 's or Malice or Bitterness or Wrath or Contention Ephes 4.31 but let him be the absolute Master of our souls when we are afflicted let us not grieve him by our murmuring or impatient complaints in our afflictions nor by security and hardness of heart in our prosperity And when he would carry us towards Heaven on the wings of spiritual desire and love let us not suffer our selves to be seduced by the World the Devil or the Flesh and if we obey him he will maintain a sense of the Divine Favour on our souls and the Life that he will give us will not be like that of the sick the feeble and the dying but like the Life of the most strong and healthful 2. Let us beware of Spiritual pride The contrite and humble are those that he regards The proud he looks upon afar off Psal 138.6 Though the Lord be high yet hath he respect unto the lowly but the proud he knoweth afar off That is with disdain and scorn 'T is nothing but our ignorance that makes us Proud We are ignorant of God and of the multitude and greatness of our Sins were it possible for us to be Proud if we frequently considered the Great Majesty of God and our own Vileness His Holiness and our Pollution His Almighty Power and our Weakness His Glory and our Darkness His Eternity and our own fading being What comparison can be made between the Great Ruler of the World and us that dwell in houses of clay It was a mighty Condescention in our Blessed Lord and one of the chiefest parts of his Humiliation to be cloathed with our Nature that is in it self so mean and low And as one says The whole World from East to VVest lies very sick but to cure this very sick world there descends an Omnipotent Physician who humbled himself even to the assumption of a Mortal Body as if he had gone into the Bed of the diseased 'T is an Ignorance of our selves that is the cause of our Pride we remember not how often it is that we offend in Thought VVord and Deed How we are by Nature children of wrath And how we make our selves more so by repeated acts of Sin God resists the Proud but he hath a regard to the Contrite and Humble Soul Isa He fills the hungry with good things but the rich he sends empty away Luke 1.53 All on whom he bestows his Favour he first convinces of their own misery shews to them the Curse the Hell the Condemnation that they have deserved and when they are pardoned after such a sight that Pardon fills them with low and self-abasing thoughts and when he comes to embrace them he finds them in the posture of the poor Prodigal Luke 15.18 19. Father I have sinned against heaven and before thee and am no more worthy to be called thy son One sight of the face of God will dash all our Confidence and lower all our Pride and the more this is revealed and discovered to the Souls of the Faithful the more they see cause to loath and abhor themselves in dust and ashes Hence it is that our Apostle that knew so much of God was so very
do not flow forth nor do the sweetest of the flowers smell with such a perfume and such a fragrant scent as they then do If we would have a warm sense of the Love of Christ shed abroad in our hearts it must be done by the efficacy and influence of the Holy-Ghost he brings the most suitable Truths to remembrance and he seasonably applies those Promises that are most comfortable and reviving he raises in us holy courage and hope and he fills our Sails with his favourable blasts he banishes that fear and those perplexing doubts that enslave us and sets before us the Mercy and the Loving-kindness of God and pours into our smarting and bleeding Wounds the Consolations of the Gospel There are indeed some particular times when God is pleased to give to the soul the clear manifestations of his favour and they are usually by Divines said to be in such particular circumstances as these 1. He is pleased to condescend to New Converts that are suddenly cheared with mighty Joys and filled with an admiration of his Grace He considers the weakness of these tender Pilgrims and his joy becomes their strength he feeds them as with Angels food for he knows they have a great way to go and therefore he carries them in his Arms and leads them gently along and they meet not with those sharp and heavy Tryals that more experienced Christians meet withal The sudden change that such perceive when they go from gross darkness into a marvellous light when their Chains are struck off and their Prison-doors set open makes them to wonder and adore Hence it is that they have vigorous affections and are very active for the Glory of their Saviour hence it is that their Zeal is so fervent and the flame of their Love burns so clear and bright 2. Another season when God Communicates to his Servants peculiar manifestations of his favour is at the Lord's Supper when they see their Redeemer Crucified before their eyes when they see the torments of his Body and the Agonies of his Soul how pained how amazed he was and that all this pain was for them and for their Salvation and that as surely as they receive the Bread and the Wine so surely do they receive this Jesus and all his benefits Direction for the present and a title to everlasting Glory this carries them up to the top of the Mount this makes them to tast of the Tree of Life This sight of a dying Saviour and of the Heaven that he purchased makes them to worship him with praise and to think themselves even as already there where he is To this Table of the Lord the believing soul goes hungry and a thirst and from the same Table returns greatly pleased with so Divine a Banquet tho' not without the most earnest desires of that entertainment that is reserved for it above 3. God is pleased to give his Servants a clearer manifestation of his Love when he intends to employ them in some remarkable or extraordinary service and as he encouraged Joshua that met with great difficulties by saying Fear not but be of good courage I am with thee Josh 1.9 When he sets before them the Labours and Dangers of the Combat he displays at the same time the greatness of the Reward and the glory of the Victory Thus docs he animate his Soldiers to fight his Battels thus he prepares his Martyrs to witness to his Truth and with such a sense of his favour no Cup seems too bitter for them to drink no danger too great for them to Conquer Hence Moses said If thy presence go not with me carry us not up hence Exod. 33.15 But with that he was content to go to what place of difficulty soever he was called he would rather as one says * Culverwell's White Stone p. 125. be in a desolate and howling Wilderness than in a pleasant and a fruitful Land without the presence of his God he knew there was no sweetness in Canaan without him there is more Sting than Honey in the Land of Promise unless he be there and Canaan it self will prove a Wilderness if he withdraw himself Thus God as the same person says when he called Abraham to that great expression of obedience in the sacrificing of his Isaac he first warms his heart with his Love and seals up the Covenant of Grace to him he spreads before him ample and comprehensive Promises I am thy God alsufficient I am thy buckler and thine exceeding great reward and this will bear up and support Abraham though the staff of his old Age be taken away and by his own hands cast into the Fire Or 4. In Prayer God is many times pleased to shew his favour to the Soul giving it a secret assurance of his Mercy saying I am thy God and portion and so sends it away filled with good things Or 5. In great straits and pinching wants when there is least of the creature there is usually most of the Alsufficient Creator when all the Cisterns of Earthly Comforts are broken then this Fountain overflows and sends out his comfortable streams He carries his people into a Wilderness and there he speaks comfortably to them Hos 2.14 And is then most kind when the World will shew them no kindness Or 6. after they have got the victory over some Lusts and Corruptions that were both dishonourable to him and uneasie to them such a Conquest is attended with his approbation and that gives them a mighty joy like the joy that the poor Israelites had when they saw their Enemies drowned in the Red Sea Or 7. in the day of death When all the shine of Earthly delights is clouded and their Sun is just upon his setting they lift up their feeble and their longing eyes toward Heaven and he draws away the Vail and they see the Son of God standing at his Right hand as their Advocate and Mediator and then it is that a poor weary Soul says with Paul I desire to depart and to be with Christ As Mr. Flavel says of old Mr. Lyford that being desired a little before his death to let his Friends know in what condition his Soul was and what his thoughts were about that Eternity to which he seemed very near he answered with a cheerfulness suitable to a Believer and a Minister I will let you know how it is with me and then stretching out an hand that was withered and consumed with Age and Sickness Here is says he the Grave the Wrath of God and devouring Flames the just punishment of Sin on the one side and here am I a poor sinful soul on the other side but this is my comfort the Covenant of Grace which is established on so many sure Promises hath salved all There is an Act of Oblivion passed in Heaven I will forgive their iniquities and their sins will I remember no more This is the blessed Privilege of all within the Covenant among whom I am one What
Oh that I were in that Land of eternal Light and Joy and in that agreeable Society of Holy Souls who have already shot the gulph and rest from all their labours for I am weary with beholding Vanity These and such like will be the motions of an holy Soul for its warfare with Sin the World and the Devil is so painful that if cannot but desire to be releas'd It s Ignorance is so great that it cannot but long to be overspread with pure and eternal Light The Captive exile hasteneth that he may be loosed Isa 51.14 and that he should not die in the pit nor that his bread should fail But then this longing must be attended with patience for we may sin even in desiring Heaven when we desire it with too much precipitancy and haste and in this good men are many times very much to blame many times when a Person meets with some heavy sickness or some very troublesome affliction he is apt to say Oh that God would now take me to Heaven there is a great deal of self-love in this and our Nature when it finds it self opprest would fain be at ease but we must not forget that we must bear the Cross and suffer before it will be our time to reign We must hold on in our Race though the Weather be foul and stormy many thousand pains may be our Lot ere God will call us hence and the first thing that we are to desire is that we may have faith and submission wherewith to bear those Pains and to persevere till he be pleased to call us Some indeed he is pleased to dismiss from this Earth to his Heaven as on the sudden but if you consider you will find the greatest part of his Servants have long troubles manifold Agonies tedious Conflicts and heavy Pains before they come to that Glory and in this respect they find the Gate that leads to Life to be very strait and narrow The Land of Promise is indeed a pleasant Land it flows with Milk and Honey but there are many Gyants to conquer in our way thither your desires of Heaven cannot be truly regular unless you be content o glorify him by suffering as well as by the doing of his Will And even with patience there may be an earnest and affectionate desire to be with God and thus some of the Saints have breathed out their Prayers Oh time run fast and remove days and hours out of the way that I may enjoy for ever enjoy the beloved of my Soul Farewel all ye my Friends and Relations for I am going to better Friends Farewel all my temporal Possessions for I am now going to be possessed of an Inheritance incorruptible and undefiled that fades not away Farewel eating and drinking and sleeping and all my pleasures and recreations for I am now going to the Supper of the Lamb and shall not need these weak supports of frail Nature any more And others have cried out Oh my God! let me not still be in darkness and provoke thee and hazard my Salvation and please the Devil and add sin to sin Oh why is my desire still unsatisfied When shall I have nothing more to wish for when will it once be that I shall be delivered Oh come Lord lest I be weary of my work and duty lest my Graces be like poor tired Soldiers that fall into confusions and so lose the day Happy is the man that loves thee above all happy is the man whose hope and trust is in Thee but most happy is he that is with Thee where I also long to be Thus I have finished the Application And I hope there are several of my Readers whose Consciences after such a tryal do salute them with happy tidings and say You are those that have Gods Favour And oh what happy People are all such happy shall they be in life happy in their death and happy for evermore Some will say Happy are the men that are rich and great that have thriving Trades numerous Attendants and swelling Titles that have plenty of Gold and Silver that need take no care how to live and are freed from all the pinching anxieties of a poor and a low Estate Psal 144.15 It may be said to every such person in the Language of the Angel Gabriel to the blessed Virgin Hail thou that art highly favoured the Lord is with thee Luke 1.28 and in v. 30. Fear not Mary for thou hast found favour with God And what indeed can they fear whose Friend he is that is so good and so powerful CHAP. VIII Of the several Privileges that belong to those who have Gods Favour Cons 1. WHen you have this Favour all your sins are pardoned Your God will not remember your Iniquities any more All the Vanities of your Childhood and Youth all your Omissions and your Commissions shall not rise against you to condemn you Tho you have often quenched the Holy Spirit and stiffed his Convictions yet all this and many thousands of other sins that made you dead in Law shall be blotted out all your sins of Ignorance and all those that have been done against Light and Love and Knowledge shall all be covered by this Grace of God 2. All your Prayers shall be heard Being pardoned and your guilt removed you will have access with boldness unto God who will give you either the very things you desire or those that are better of another kind Your Persons are acceptable and so will all you Duties be and therefore successful because Christ is your Intercessor who as he hath once purchased Life for you with his Blood will apply it to you for your further purification Heb. 9.11 14. Nay you will not only prevail for mercies for your selves hat being Favourites in the Court of Heaven you will be in a capacity to obtain many blessings for others too Matt. 18.19 If two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven God as one says sometimes stands upon a number of Voices for the carrying of some publick Mercy because he delighteth in the harmony of many praying Souls and also loves to oblige and gratify many in the answer and return of the same Prayer And therefore it is our duty to beg the prayers of those that we think good People because of their interest in God Many seek the Rulers favour Prov 29.26 their wants and their ambition push them forward and make them very complaisant and respectful to such in whose power it is to do them considerable kindnesses and they make a peculiar address to such as are principal Favourites and it is reckoned as a main step to Promotion to have a Friend in Court it is to our great advantage to be remembred in the Prayers of those that share in God's Favour 3. When you are the Favourites of God he will accept your sincere services though they
think our Sighs better than Praises and Hallelujahs Let us hasten in our desires from this diseased World which by its low scituation is apt to suffer an inundation of innumerable miseries and prepare for that World where there is an Eternal Health and Joy CHAP. IV. Shewing what dreadful apprehensions a soul has that is under desertion and in several respects how very sad an doleful its condition is from the Author 's own Experience THE next thing I design to insist upon is To shew that the time of God's forsaking of a soul is a very dark and mournful time 't is not only night but a weeping stormy night and it may not be unuseful to you who have it may be hitherto lived in the beams and chearful light of day to know what passes in this forrowful and doleful night And in this matter I will not borrow Information from others but give you My own Experience 1. In this night the deserted soul it overwhelmed with continual thoughts of the Holiness and Majesty and Glory of the Lord nor does it think of him with any manner of delight according to that of Asaph Psal 77.3 I remembred God and was troubled I complained and my spirit was overwhelmed And in how deplorable a Case is such a Soul that cannot think of its God and its Creator but with grief and sorrow That fixes upon nothing in him but his terrible and severe Attributes In other Cases when a Man is distressed on Earth and beholds vexation and disquiet there he can lift up his eyes towards Heaven and see joy and comfort for him there but in this woful Case there is neither the light of the Sun the Moon or the Stars for many days the face of God is hid and covered with a dreadful Cloud Job 31.23 Destruction from God was a terror to me and because of his highness I could not endure Secondly The deserted soul in this mournful night does look upon God at its enemy and as intending its hurt and ruin by the sharpness of his dispensations and this makes it to be incapable of receiving any consolation from the Creatures for will it say to them Alas if God be mine enemy as I apprehend him to be which of you can be my friend I have a dreadful sound of his displeasure in my ears and which of you can bring me any glad tidings If his power his Irresistible power be against me who can keep off the killing-blow Job 19.6 Know now that God hath overthrown we and hath compassed me with his net he hath fenced up my way that I cannot pass and he hath set darkness in my paths And so v. 9 10 11. and Psal 88.7 Thy wrath lyeth hard upon me and thou hast afflicted me with all thy waves If in such desertion God were apprehended to be upon a design of the future happiness and welfare of the soul it would bear up with courage or with hope but having no such belief it must needs sink and languish The stroke that wounds us in such a case is the more painful as edged with a sense of wrath Psal 102.9 10. I have eaten ashes like bread and mingled my drink with weeping because of thine indignation and thy wrath for thou hast lifted me up and cast me down Thus does the weeping person vent his sorrows God never gives to his people such a bitter Cup but he mingles love and mercy with it but alas I taste nothing but gall and wormwood nothing but misery and vexation He is with his people but he has forsaken me he has cast me into a fiery furnace where I am daily burnt and scorcht and he is not with me there He is unto me as a Roaring Lion and who can turn away his powerful wrath Ruth 1.20 The Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me I have often heard that it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the Living God and I now find it to be so all the wrath of men is nothing to his one frown of his is more intolerable than all their rage and persecution Job 16.12 13 14. I was at ease but he hath broken me asunder he hath also taken me by my neck and shaken me to pieces and set me up for his mark his Archers compass me round about he cleaveth my reins asunder and doth not spare he poureth out my gall upon the ground Job 10.16 17. Oh what anguish what desolation is caused in the soul by such thoughts as these I dare not says the mourning person look up to Heaven for there I see how great a God I have against me I dare not look into his word for there I see all his threats as so many barbed arrows to strike me to the heart I dare not look into the Grave because thence I am like to have a doleful Resurrection And what can a poor Creature do that apprehends the Almighty to be his enemy It is a common thing to say why do you so lament and mourn you have many mercies left many friends that pray for you and that pity you Alas what help is there in all this it God himself be gone nothing is then lookt upon as a mercy And as for the prayers of others will the distressed person say they can do me no good unless I have faith and I find I have none at all for that would purifie and cleanse my heart and I do nothing else but sin and God as he is holy must set himself against me his Enemy 3ly In this doleful night the soul hath no evidence at all of its former grace so that in this night the Sun is not only set but there is not one Star appears such an one looks upon himself as altogether void of the Grace of God he looks upon all his former duties to have been insincere or hypocritical he feels his heart hardned at present and concludes that it was never tender finds himself at present listless and indisposed and concludes that he never had any true life and motion and expresses his sorrows after this or the like manner I thought I had belong'd to God but now I find I am none of his I thought I had been upright but now I see I was mistaken the storm is come and that house that I built upon the sand is now washt away those that are Christ's he will enable to persevere to the end but I am fallen from grace I am an Apostate if I had any share in the Intercession of the Great Redeemer he would not leave me thus sad and desolate I thought that I had been planted in his Vineyard and brought forth fruit but now I am cut down as a barren tree Oh how greatly have I been deceived that imagined my self to be an Heir of Heaven and am now seizd with the pangs of Hell I now see that I was never right never born again never renewed by the Spirit never changed from death to life And Oh