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A35017 The Scotch Presbyterian eloquence, or, The foolishness of their teaching discovered from their books, sermons and prayers and some remarks on Mr. Rule's late Vindication of the kirk Curate, Jacob.; Calder, Robert, 1658-1723. 1692 (1692) Wing C6961; ESTC R10498 97,496 122

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and by Witnesses of unquestionable Honesty I can make it appear that he said If ever Christ was drunk upon Earth it was when he made the Lords Prayer And I appeal to your self who are a Ruling-Elder whether or not this be Blasphemy Some other things of Scandalous Nature I can prove against him O but says he we are not come here to Judge our Brethren our Business is with the Curates It is ordinary to hear their People say That if Christ were on Earth again he would think shame of that Form that they could make better themselves and that he was but young when he compos'd it All which Blasphemies must needs be the Effects or Consequent of what they hear from their Preachers And as for the Apostles Creed it is not so much as once mentioned at the Baptising of Infants for all that they require at Baptism is That the Father promise to breed up the Child in the Belief of the Westminster Confession of Faith and that he shall adhere to all the National Engagements laying on them to be Presbyterians Here I cannot forget what Mr. John Dickson Preacher in the Meeting-House at Kelso said once in a Sermon Ask said he an old dying Wife if she hath any Evidence of Salvation she will tell you I hope so for I believe the Apostles Creed I am taken with the Lord's Prayer and I know my Duty to the be Ten Commands But I tell you Sirs there are but old rotten Wheel-barrows to carry Souls to Hell These are Idols that the false Prelates and Curates have set up to obstruct the Covenant and the Work of God in the Land For reading the Scriptures in Churches they have abolished that with the rest and in place thereof he that raises the Psalm reads the Sermon that was preach'd the Sabbath before And for the Gospel Hymn called the Doxology or Gloria Patri they reject that as a superstitious prelatical Addition to the Word of God A certain Maid being lately Catechised by one of these Preachers the first question he propos'd to her was Maggi Now what think you are the Saints doing in Heaven I know not Sir O Maggy that is a very easie question answer it Maggy I think then said she they are doing that in Heaven which ye will not let us do on Earth What is that Maggy says he They are singing Glory to the Father Son and Holy Ghost Sir Now that is your Mistake Maggy said he for there 's no such malignant Songs sung there you have been quite wrong taught Maggy the Curates have deceived you Maggy They have no distinguishing Garb from Lay-men and yet they took upon them to admonish the King's Commissioner to their last Assembly for wearing a Scarlet Cloak and told him plainly That it was not decent for his Grace to appear before them in such a Garb upon which my Lord told them That he thought it as undecent for them to appear before him in gray Cloaks and Cravats When the Church of Arrol was last Year made Vacant by the Expulsion of the Reverend and Learned Dr. Niclson the Elders and Heritors there whereof many were Gentlemen of the best quality met together that according to the present Law and constant Practice of the Presbyterians they might chuse and call another Minister to be their Parson after they had unanimously agreed and sign'd and sent a formal Legal Call to Mr. Lisk a person of indisputable Qualifications for the Ministry in which he has been imploy'd with great Reputation for several Years in the North and one who has given signal Evidence of his good Affections to heir present Majesties my Lord Kinnard Chief Heritor went with the rest to signifie their Calling of Mr. Lisk to the Presbytery at my Lords entering into the place where the Presbytery was sitting he ask'd if they were the Ministers of the Presbytery Do not you see that we are said the Moderator My Lord replied That by their Garb no Body could know them and that their Spirit was invisible now whether it was for this Jest or because they knew Mr. Lisk to be Episcopal in his Judgment I know not but this I know that these grave New Gospellers rejected the Call in despite both of the Heritors and of their own Law brought in a Hot-headed Young Man of their own Stamp and Election However that they use no distinguishing Garb must be acknowledged to be very Congruous for truly they are but Laicks and it will surpass all their Learning to prove that they are Ministers of Jesus Christ but meerly Preachers sent and call'd by the People who are generally but very ill Judges of Mens Qualifications for the Ministry hence their constant and vast Heats and Divisions about their calling of able Men. The Mobile ordinarily take their Measures only from the appearances of things and indeed a Presbyterian Preachers Out-side is not his worst for they appear commonly though in Lay-garb yet in Sheeps-clothing but as we have often formerly so do we now feel that they are inwardly nothing but ravenous Wolves Now as to their Sermons which is the main design of this Paper they are still upon the Government and the Times preaching up the Excellency of their Kirk-Government which they call Christ the Crown Scepter and Government of Christ This was an old Custom among them to preach up the Times and the neglect thereof they call'd sinful Silence When in the former Confusions of the State they violently intruded themselves and Usurped the Government of the Church which they never had in settled Times In those Days at a publick Synod they openly reproved one Mr. Lighton for not preaching up the Times Who saith he doth preach up the Times It was answer'd That all the Brethren did it The says Mr. Lighton if all you preach up the Times you may allow one poor Brother to preach up Christ Jesus and Eternity But this was never not is like to be the Design of their Sermons for trace them in their Politicks Morals Mysticks and Metaphysicks you shall find them Selfish Singular and full of Nonsensick Rhapsodies These perhaps may seem hard Words but an Aethiopian must be painted black and that 's no sault in the Painter For their Politicks there is no Government under the Sun could tolerate them if they but act in other Nations as they have done in Scotland since their Intrusion there to instance but in our Times Did nor Mr. Cargill one of their Celebrated Preachers Excommunicate all the Royal Family the Bishops and Curates and all that should hear them and adhere to them They indeed that affect the Name of Sober Presbyterians disown'd these Hill-men particularly because they refused to join with them in thanking King James for the Toleration which he granted to them And yet such is the Disingenuity of these who would be called Sober Presbyterians that they cry out that they suffered Persecution whereas it was the Cameronians only whom they disown that
foolishness of Preaching these words There are two sorts of Preaching Sirs there 's a Gentlemanny Preaching and a common manny Preaching for Gentlemanny Preaching they 'l feed you up with peny whistles or Nigg-nayes-bonny wallies At which he perceived one of the Commons laugh He points out to him and said Man do not that think to gull one of God's Ministres that way lift up your Bonnet off your face think no shame of your shape I tell you Sirs there is gentlemany Preaching and commonmany Preaching I will give you commonmany Preaching Sirs I will give yon milk●pottage and this will make you bony fat and lusty in your journey to heaven Ye ken Sirs ye ken to my great grief I may say ye ken no But I tell you there is Gentlemany preaching and a commonmany preaching There are three sorts of men that despise commonmany preaching first the Politician 2. The Gallant 3. The Ignorant man First for the Politician he will go twenty miles to hear a Gentlemanny preaching what cares he for commonmany preaching 2ly for the Gallant give him a glass of wine to drink and give him a Lady to kiss and what cares he for preaching 3ly For the ignorant man give him a cogfull of Brose to his belly and a pair of Brecks to his arse what cares he for preaching A little thereafter he saw a little child looking to and fro he said Sit still little Rogue else I 'le cut a lug out of your head Sirrah O the glorious days of the Gospel the very wie-ones were then so serious that they would rugg Christ out of my heart but now they are all baudy faced they look as if the Curates and their Mothers were over great This was written from his own mouth by a person that is ready to declare the verity of it were he to die just after Mr. John Veach in Wool struthers in a Nonsensical and incoherent Discourse at the opening up of a Presbyterian Synod at Jedburgh said That one duty of Ministers was not to preach close and neat Discourses his reason was this Men use not to bring the Spits and the Racs to the Table when they bring the meat to it There are many in Edinburgh who heard Mr. James Kirkton in a Sermon concerning Joseph and Mary say The first night saith he that they met together he laid his hand on her belly and found her with Bairn The honest man turn'd very angry and would have put her away as any of us all would have done had we met with the like and who is it that ever would suspect that the Holy Ghost should have another man's wife Another time he told his Hearers That they might make a Lesson out of every thing that occurred to sense you may faith he get a good Lesson out of a Goose-turd for it is black at the bottom green in the middle and white at the top The blackness at the bottom let 's us see the blackness of Hell the greenness in the middle lets us see the vanity of the world and the whiteness in the top lets us see the joys of Heaven And this good Lesson Sirs ye will find in a good turd Now Sirs I would have you pray to him that sits upon the white-end to keep you from a black end One Mr. John Hepburn Lecturing on the second Psalm told Tha● there was a Dialogue betwixt the Father and the Son in Heaven the Son said Father will you give me my portion now Your portion Son said the Father indeed shall you thou hast been a dutiful Son to me thou never angered me in thy days What portion will you have Son Will you give me poor Scotland saith the Son Scotland said the Father truly thou shalt get poor Scotland And he proved that it was Scotland he sought from the 8 ver I shall give thee the outmost parts of the earth for a possession Now Sirs Scotland is the outmost part of the earth and therefore it was given to the Son for a Patrimony One Mr. Mosman in Newbotle past this Complement upon himself in a Sermon All the world knows that I am a learned man a judicious man and a man that can clear the Scriptures well but there are some in the Parish that have not such thoughts for me as for them I pity them for they must be very silly At that time he was preaching against taking God's name in vain he told O Sirs this is a very great sin for my own part I rather steal all the horned nout in the Parish before I took God's name in vain once One Mr. Robert Steidman in Caridden told once that the people of God had many doubts about their Election for proof of this see says he the 2. Cant. v. 16. My beloved is mine and I am his Another time he told That the best of God's Saints have a little tincture of Atheism for a plain proof of this you may see says he Psal 14 1. The fool hath said in his heart that there is no God Another time he tells That Christ was not proud nor Lordly for he rode upon an Ass which is a laigh beast and wherefore think ye did he this It was Sirs for the conveniency of the old Wives that followed him that he might kuttle in the Gospel in their ears as he went along One Mr. Murray marrying a couple called the man The Head and the woman the Tail In the name of God then says he I joyn Head and Tail together Sirs let no man ever separate them The same person preaching at Haddan said Christ is a great stranger to you these 28 years but I have brought him to you the day Sirs and if ye will have him I will take him with horning and caption for you One Mr. Shields preaching at Borthwick said Many had Religion the day but would have none the morn their Religion was soon gone like a womans virginity One Wedderburn preaching in Irvin said Lord we have over foul feet to come so far benn at Heaven but yet as broken a Ship has come to land Mr. Rutherford preaching at Jedburgh said These 28 years the grass is grown long betwixt Jedburgh and Heaven Mr William Stuart preaching lately in Forres upon these words Our God is a consuming fire said Sirs I will explain these words in a very homely manner There was a Godly man of my acquaintance Sirs he had a young Bairn that was dying and he comes to him and said Sandy now my Cockie believe in God now for ye will not live long No no said the Bairn I will not believe in God for God is a Boo but I will believe in Christ for he is sweet Dady and he is good Now ye may by this see Sirs that God without Christ is a Boo. Boo is a word that 's used in the North of Scotland to frighten crying Children Mr. William Vetch