Title my pretended Rival has to your Person or your Inclinations Perhaps the little hopes I then may have of supplanting him may make me leave your House If not my Love shall still pursue you tho' to the hazard of my Life which I shall not easily resigh while this Sword can guard it Madam Am. Oh were this Courage shown but in a better Cause how worthy were the Man that own'd it Aside What is it Sir that you propose by this unnecessary Trifling Know then that I did expect a Lover a Man perhaps more brave than you One that if present wou'd have given you a shorter Answer to your Question Lov. I am glad to hear he 's brave however it betrays no weakness in your Choice But if you 'd still preserve or raise the Joys of Love remove him from your thoughts a moment and in his room receive a warmer Heart a Heart that must admire you more than he because my Passion 's of a fresher Date Am. What de' e take me for Lov. A Woman and the most Charming of your Sex one whose pointed Eyes declare you form'd for Love and tho' your words are flinty your every look and motion all confess there 's a secret Fire within you which must sparkle when the Steel of Love provokes it Come now pull away your hand and make me hold it faster Am. Nay now you are rude Sir Lov. If Love be Rudeness let me be Impudent When we are Familiar Rudeness will be Love No Woman ever thought a Lover Rude after she had once granted him the Favour Am. Pray Sir forbear Lov. How can I when my desire 's so violent Oh let me snatch the Rosie Dew from those distilling Lips and as you see your power to Charm so chide me with your Pity Why do you thus cruelly turn away your Face I own the Blessing 's worth an Ages Expectation but if refused till merited 't is esteemed a Debt Wou'd you oblige your Lover let loose your early Kindness Am. I shall not take your Counsel Sir while I know a Woman's early Kindness is as little sign of her Generosity as her Generosity is a sign of her Discretion Nor wou'd I have you believe I am so ill provided for that I need listen to any Man's first Addresses Lov. Why Madam wou'd not you drink the first time you had a Thirst Am. Yes but not before I had Lov. If you can't drink yet you may kiss the Cup and that may give you inclination Am. Your Pardon Sir I drink out of no body's Glass but my own as the Man I love confines himself to me so my Inclination keeps me true to him Lov. That 's a Cheat imposed upon you by your own Vanity For when your back 's turn'd your very Chamber-Maid sips of your leavings and becomes your Rival Constancy in Love is all a Cheat Women of your Understanding know it The Joys of Love are only Great when they are new and to make 'em lasting we must often change Am. Suppose 't were a fresh Lover I now expected Lov. Why then Madam your Expectation's answer'd For I must confess I don't take you for an Old Acquaintance tho' somewhere I have seen a Face not much unlike you Come your Arguments are vain for they are so Charmingly delivered they but inspire me the more as blows in Battel raise the brave Man's Courage Come every thing pleads for me Your Beauty Wit Time Place Opportunity and my own Excess of Raging Passion Am. Stand off distant as the Globes of Heaven and Earth that like a falling Star I may shoot with greater force into your Arms and think it Heaven to lye Expiring there Runs into his Arms. Snap Ah! ah ah Rogue the day 's our own Lov. Thou sweetest softest Creature Heav'n e'er form'd Thus let me twine my self about thy beauteous Limbs till struggling with the Pangs of painful Bliss motionless and mute we yield to Conquering Love both Vanquish'd and both Victors Am. Can all this heat be real Oh why has hateful Vice such power to Charm while poor abandon'd Vertue lies neglected Aside Lov. Come let us Surfeit on our new-born Raptures let 's waken sleeping Nature with Delight till we may justly say now now we live Am. Come on let 's indulge the Transports of our present Bliss and bid defiance to our future change of Fate Who waits there Enter Amanda's Woman Am. Bring me word immediately if my Apartment's ready as I order'd it O I am charm'd I have found the Man to please me now One that can and dares maintain the Noble Rapture of a Lawless Love I own my self a Libertine a Mortal Foe to that dull thing call'd Vertue that meer Disease of sickly Nature Pleasure 's the end of Life and while I 'm Mistress of my self and Fortune I will enjoy it to the height Speak freely then not that I love like other women the nauseous Pleasure of a little Flattery but answer me like a Man that scorns a Lye Does my Face invite you Sir May I from what you see of me propose a Pleasure to my self in pleasing you Lov. By Heaven you may I have seen all Beauties that the Sun shines on but never saw the Sun out-shin'd before I have measur'd half the world in search of Pleasure But not returning home had ne'er been happy Am. Spoken like the Man I wish might love me Pray Heaven his words prove true Aside Be sure you never flatter me and when my Person tires you confess it freely For change when e'er you will I 'll change as soon But while we chance to meet still let it be with Raging Fire No matter how soon it dies provided the small time it lasts it burn the fiercer Lov. O! wou'd the blinded world like us agree to change how lasting might the Joys of Love be For thus Beauty tho' stale to one might somewhere else be new and while this Man were blest in leaving what he loath'd another were new-Ravish'd in receiving what he ne'er enjoy'd Re-Enter Amanda's Woman Wom. Madam every thing is according to your Order Lov. Oh! lead me to the Scene of unsupportable Delight Rack me with Pleasures never known before till I lye gasping with Convulsive Passion This Night let us be lavish to our unbounded wishes Give all our Stock at once to raise the Fire And Revel to the height of loose Desire Exeunt Am. Wom. Ah! what an happy Creature 's my Lady now There 's many an unsatisfied Wife about Town wou'd be glad to have her Husband as wicked as my Master upon the same Terms my Lady has him Few Women I 'm afraid wou'd grudge an Husband the laying out his stock of Love that cou'd receive such considerable Interest for it Well Now shan't I take one wink of sleep for thinking how they 'll employ their time to Night Faith I must listen if I were to be hang'd for 't Listens at the Door Snap So my Master 's provided for therefore 't
drop the Curtain Four Acts for your Course Pallats was design'd But Then the Ladies Last is more refin'd They for Amanda's sake will sure be Kind Pray let this Figure once your pitty move Can you resist the Pleading God of Love In vain my Pray'rs the other Sex pursue Vnless your Conquering smiles their stubborn hearts subdue Dramatis Personae MEN. Sir Will. Wisewoud A Rich old Gentleman that fancies himself a great Master of his passion which he only is in trivial matters Mr. Iohnson Loveless Of a debaucht life grew weary of his Wife in six Months left her and the Town for Debts he did not care to pay and having spent the last part of his Estate beyond Sea returns to England in a very mean condition Mr. Verbruggem Sir Novelty Fashion A Coxcomb that loves to be the first in all Foppery Mr. Cibber Elder Worthy A sober Gent. of a fair Estate in love with Hillaria Mr. Williams Young Worthy His Brother of a looser temper Lover to Narcissa Mr. Horden Snap Servant to Loveless Mr. Penkethman Sly Servant to Young Worthy Mr. Bullock A Lawyer Mr. Mills WOMEN Amanda A Woman of strict Virtue married to Loveless very young and forsaken by him Mrs. Rogers Narcissa Daughter to Will. Wisewoud a Fortune Mrs. Verbruggen Hillaria His Niece Mrs. Clibber Flareit A kept Mrs. of Sir Novelty's Mrs. Kent Woman to Amanda Mrs. Lucas Maid to Flareit Servants Centinels Porter Bullies and Musick The SCENE London Love's Last Shift c. ACT I. SCENE The Park Enter Loveless and Snap his Servant Love SIrrah leave your Preaching your Counsel's like an ill Clock either stands still or goes to slow you ne'er thought my Extravagancies amiss while you had your share of 'em and now I want money to make my self drunk you advise me to live sober you Dog They that will hunt pleasure as I ha' done Rascal must never give over in a fair Chase. Snap Nay I knew you wou'd never rest till you had tir'd your Dogs ah Sir what a fine pack of Guineas have you had and yet you would make them run till they were quite spent Wou'd I were fairly turn'd out of your Service here we have been three days in Town and I can safely Swear I have liv'd upon picking a hollow tooth ever since Love Why don't you Eat then Sirrah Snap Even because I don't know where Sir Lov. Then stay til I Eat hang-dog ungrateful Rogue to murmur at a little fasting with me when thou hast been an Equal partner of my good Fortune Snap Fortune It makes me Weep to think what you have brought your self and me to How well might you ha' ivl'd Sir had you been a Sober Man Let me see I ha' been in your Service just ten years In the first you Married and grew weary of your Wife in the Second you Whor'd Drank Gam'd run in Debt Mortgaged your Estate and was forct to leave the Kingdom in the 3d 4th 5th 6th and 7th you made the Tour of Europe with the State and Equipage of a French Court Favourite while your poor Wife at Home broke her heart for the loss of you In the 8th and 9th you grew poor and little the wiser and now in the 10th you are resolv'd I shall starve with you Love Despicable Rogue canst not thou bear the Frowns of a Common strumpet Fortune Snap S'bud I never think of the Pearl Necklace you gave that Dam'd Venetian Strumpet but I wish her hang'd in 't Love Why Sirrah I knew I cou'd not have her without it and I had a Night's Enjoyment of her was worth a Pope's Revenue for 't Snap Ah! you had better ha' laid out your money here in London I 'll undertake you might have had the whole Town over and over for half the price Beside Sir what a delicate Creature was your Wife She was the only Celebrated Beauty in Town I 'll undertake there were more Fops and Fools run mad for her odsbâ—d she was more plagued with 'em and more talk't of than a good Actress with a Maiden-head Why the Devil cou'd not she content you Love No Sirrah the World to me is a Garden stockt with all sorts of Fruit where the greatest pleasure we can take is in the Variety of Taste But a Wife is an Eternal Apple-tree after a pull or two you are sure to set your Teeth on Edge Snap And yet I warrant you grudg'd another Man a bit of her tho' you valu'd her no more than you wou'd a half Eaten Pippin that had lain a Week a Sunning in a Parlor Window But see Sir who 's this for methinks I long to meet with an old acquaintance Love Ha! I gad he looks like one and may be necessary as the case stands with me Snap Pray Heaven he do but invite us to Dinner Enter Young Worthy Love Dear Wontby let me embrace thee the sight of an old Friend warms me beyond that of a new Mistress Y. Wor. S'Death what Bully's this Sir your pardon I don't know you Love Faith Will I am a little out of repaires at present But I am all that 's left of honest Ned Loveless Y. Wor. Loveless I am amaz'd what means this Metamorphosis Faith Ned I am glad to find thee amongst the Living however How long hast thou been in Town Love About three days But prithee Will how goes the World Y. Wor. Why like a Bowl it runs on at the old rate Interest is still the Jack it aimes at and while it rowles you know it must of necessity be often turn'd upside down But I doubt Friend you have bowl'd out of the Green have liv'd a little too fast Surveying his dress like one that has lost all his ready money and are forc't to be an idle Spectator Prithee what brought thee at last to England Love Why my last hopes faith which were to perswade Sir Will Wisewood if he be alive to whom I Mortgaged my Estate to let me have Five hundred pounds more upon it or else to get some honest Friend to redeem the Mortgage and share the over-plus Beside I thought that London might now be a place of uninterrupted pleasure for I hear my Wife is dead and to tell you the Truth 't was the stalene's of her love was the main cause of my going over Y. Wor. His Wife dead ha I 'm glad he knows no other I won't undeceive him least the Rogue should go and risle her of what she has Aside Yes faith I was at her Burial and saw her take possession of her long home and am sorry to tell you Ned she died with Grief your wild courses broke her heart Love Why Faith she was a good natur'd Fool that 's the truth on 't well rest her Soul Snap Now Sir you are a single Man indeed for you have neither Wife nor Estate Y. Wor. But how hast thou improv'd thy money beyond Sea What hast thou brought over Love Oh! a great deal of Experience Y. Wor. And no
the Event will be Heaven knows but thus far 't is Pleasant And since he is safe I 'll venture to divert my Company with the Story Poor Amanda thou well deservest a better Husband Thou wert never wanting in thy Endeavours to reclaim him And faith considering how a long Dispair has worn thee 'T were pity now thy Hopes should not succeed This new Attempt is Loves last Shift indeed ACT IV. The SCENE continues Enter two Bullies and Sir William Wisewou'd observing them 1st Bully DAmme Iack let 's after him and fight him 't is not to be put up 2d Bull. No! Dam him no body saw the affront and what need we take notice of it 1st Bul. Why that 's true But Damme I have much ado to forbear cutting his Throat Sir Will. Pray Gentlemen what 's the matter Why are you in such a Passion 1st B. What 's that to you Sir What wou'd you have Sir Will. I hope Sir a Man may ask a Civil Question 1st B. Damme Sir we are Men of Honour we dare answer any Man Sir Will. But why are you angry Gentlemen Have you received any wrong 2d B. We have been called Rascals Sir have had the Lye given us and had like to have been kickt Sir Will. But I hope you were not kickt Gentlemen 2d B. How Sir we kickt Sir Will. Nor do I presume that you are Rascals 1st B. Bloud and Thunder Sir let any Man say it that wears an head we Rascals Sir Will. Very good since then you are not Rascals he rather was one who maliciously call'd you so Pray take my Advice Gentlemen never disturb your selves for any ill your Enemy says of you for from an Enemy the World will not believe it Now you must know Gentlemen that a Flea-bite is to me more offensive than the severest Affront any Man can offer me 1st B. What and so you wou'd have us put it up Damme Sir don't preach Cowardice to us we are Men of Valour you won't find us Cowards Sir 2d B. No Sir we are no Cowards tho' you are 1st B. Hang him let him alone I see a Coward in his â—â—ce Sir Will. If my face make any Reflection Sir 't is against my will 2d B. Prithee Tom let 's Affront him and raise his Spleen a little Sir Will. Raise my Spleen that 's more than any Man cou'd ever boast of 1st B. You Lye Sir Will. I am not angry yet therefore I do not Lye Sir Now one of us must lye I do not lye Ergo 1st B. Damme Sir have a care Don't give me the Lye I shan't take it Sir Sir Will. I need not Sir you give it your self 1st B. Well Sir what then if I make bold with my self every old Puppy shall not pretend to do it Sir Will. Ha! ha ha ha ha 1st B. Damme Sir what do you laugh at Sir Will. To let you see that I am no Puppy Sir for Puppies are Brutes now Brutes have not Risibility But I laugh therefore I am no Puppy ha ha 1st B. Bloud and Thunder Sir dare you fight Sir Will. Not in cool blood Sir and I confess 't is impossible to make me angry 2d B. I 'le try that Heark ye don't you know you are a sniveling old Cuckold Sir Will. No really Sir 2d B. Why then I know you to be one Sir Will. Look you Sir my Reason weighs this Injury which is so light it will not raise my Anger in the other Scale 1st B. Oon's what a tame old Prig's this I 'll give you better weight then I know who got all your Children Sir Will. Not so well as my Wife I presume Now she tells me 't was my self and I believe her too 1st B. She tells you so because the poor Rogue thaâ— got 'em is not able to keep ' em Sir Will. Then my keeping them in Charity 1st B. Bloud and Thunder Sir this is an Affront to us not to be Angry after all these Provocations Damme Iack let 's souse him in the Canal as they lay hold on him Enter El. Worthy Young Worthy Nar and Hill Y. Wor. S'Death what 's here Sir William in the Rogues hands that affronted the Ladies Oh forbear forbear Strikes them E. Wor. So Gentlemen I thought you had fair warning before now you shall pay for 't Enter three or four Sentinels Heark you honest Soldiers pray do me the favour to wash these Rascals in the Canal and there 's a Guinea for your trouble Bullies Damme Sir we shall expect satisfaction Exeunt dragging the Bullies Sir Will. Oh dear Gentlemen I am obliged to you for I was just going to the Canal my self if you had not come as you did E. Wor. Pray Sir what had you done to ' em Sir Will. Why hearing the Musick from my Parlour Window and being invited by the sweetness of the Evening I ev'n took a Walk to see if I could meet with you when the first Objects that presented themselves were these Bullies threatning to cut some bodies Throat Now I endeavouring to allay their Fury occasioned their giving me scurrilous Language and finding they cou'd not make me as angry as themselves they off'red to fling me into the Water E. Wor. I am glad we stept to your deliverance Sir Will. Oh I thank you Gentlemen I 'll e'en go home and recover my fright Good Night Good Night to you all Exit E. W. Harry see Sir William safe to his Lodging To his Servant Well Ladies I believe it's time for us to be walking too Hill No pray let me engage you to stay a little longer Yonder comes Sir Novelty and his Mistress in pursuance of the Design I told you of pray have a little patience and you will see the effect on 't E. W. With all my heart Madam They stand aside Enter Sir Novelty embracing Flareit Mask'd Sir Nov. Generous Creature this is an unexampled condescension to meet my Passion with such early kindness Thus let me pay my soft Acknowledgments Kisses her Hand Hill You must know he has mistaken her for another Fla. For Heaven's sake let me go if Hillaria shou'd be at home before me I am ruined for ever Nar. Hillaria what does she mean Sir Nov. Narcissa's Reputation shall be ever safe while my Life and Fortune can protect it Nar. O Gad let me go does the impudent Creature take my Name upon her I 'll pull off her Head-cloaths Hill Oh! fye Cousin what an ungenteel Revenge wou'd that be have a little patience Nar. Oh! I am in a flame Throwing back her Hoods Fla. But will you never see that common Creature Flareit more Sir Nov. Never never Feed on such homely Fare after so rich a Banquet Fla. Nay but you must hate her too Sir Nov. That I did long ago for her stinking breath 'T is true I have been led away but I detest a Strumpet I am informed she keeps a Fellow under my Nose and for that reason I wou'd not make the Settlement I lately
gave her some hopes of But e'en let her please her self for now I am wholly yours Fla. Oh now you charm me but will you love me ever Sir Nov. Will you be ever kind Fla. Be sure you never see Flareit more Sir Nov. When I do may this soft Hand Revenge my Perjury Fla. So it shall Villain Strikes him a box on the ear and unmasks Omnes Ha! ha ha Sir Nov. Flareit the Devil Fla. What will nothing but a Maidenhead go down with you Thou miserable conceited Wretch Foh my breath stinks does it I 'm a homely Puss a Strumpet not worth you notice Devil I 'll be reveng'd Sir Nov. Damn your Revenge I 'm sure I feel it Holding his Cheek Nar. Really Sir Novelty I am obliged to you for your kind thoughts of me and your extraordinary care of my Reputation Sir Nov. S'Death she here expos'd to half the Town well I must brasen it out however Walks unconcerned Fla. What! no Pretence no Evasion now Sir Nov. There 's no occasion for any Madam Fla. Come come swear you knew me all this while Sir Nov. No faith Madam I did not know you For if I had you wou'd not have found me so furious a Lover Fla. Furies and Hell dares the Monster own his guilt this is beyond all sufferance thou Wretch thou Thing thou Animal that I to the everlasting forfeiture of my Sense and Understanding have made a Man For till thou knewest me 't was doubted if thou wert of Humane kind And dost thou think I 'll suffer such a worm as Thee to turn against me No! when I do may I be curs'd to thy Embraces all my Life and never know a Joy beyond thee Sir Nov. Why wh wh what will your Ladyship's Fury do Madam Smiling Fla. Only change my Lodging Sir Sir Nov. I shall keep mine Madam that you may know where to find me when your fury is over You see I am good natur'd VValks by her Fla. This Bravery 's affected I know he loves me and I 'll pierce him to the quick I have yet a surer way to fool him Aside Hill Methinks the Knight bears it bravely Nar. I protest the Lady weeps Y. VVor. She knows what she does I 'll warrant you E. VVor. Ay Ay the Fox is a better Politician than the Lion Fla. VVith tears in her eyes Now woman Aside Sir Novelty pray Sir let me speak with you Sir Nov. Ay Madam Fla. Before we part for I find I have irrecoverably lost your Love let me beg of you that from this hour you ne'er will see me more or make any new attempts to deceive my easie Temper For I find my Nature 's such I shall believe you though to my utter Ruine Sir Nov. Pray Heaven she be in earnest Aside Fla. One thing more Sir since our first Acquaintance you have received several Letters from me I hope you will be so much a Gentleman as to let me have 'em again Those I have of yours shall be returned to Morrow Morning And now Sir wishing you as much Happiness in her you Love as you once pretended I cou'd give you I take of you my everlasting leave Farewel and may your next Mistress love you till I hate you is going Sir Nov. So now must I seem to perswade her Nay prithee my Dear why do you struggle so whither wou'd you go Fla. Pray Sir give me leave to pass I can't bear to stay Crying Sir Nov. VVhat is' t that frightens you Fla. Your Barbarous Usage Pray let me go Sir Nov. Nay if you are resolved Madam I won't press you against your will Your humble servant Leaves her and a happy riddance stop my Vitals Flareit looks back Fla. Ha! not move to call me back so unconcerned Oh! I cou'd tear my flesh stab every feature in this dull decaying Face that wants a Charm to hold him Dam him I loath him too But shall my Pride now fall from such an height and bear the Torture unreveng'd No! my very Soul 's on fire and nothing but the Villain 's blood shall quench it Devil have at thee Snatches Young Worthy's Sword and runs at him Y. VVor. Have a care Sir Sir Nov. Let her alone Gentlemen I 'll warrant you Draws and stands upon his Guard Young Worthy takes the Sword from her and holds her Fla. Prevented Oh! I shall choak with boyling Gall. Oh! Oh! uumh let me go I 'll have his blood his blood his blood Raving Sir Nov. Let her come let her come Gentlemen Fla. Death and Vengeance am I become his sport he 's pleased and smiles to see me Rage the more But he shall find no Fiend in Hell can match the fury of a disappointed Woman Scorned slighted dismissed without a parting Pang Oh torturing thought May all the Racks Mankind e'er gave our easie Sex Neglected Love Decaying Beauty and hot Raging Lust light on me if e're I cease to be the Eternal Plague of his remaining Life nay after Death VVhen his his black Soul lies howling in despair I 'd plunge to Hell and be his Torment there Exit in a fury Eld. VVor Sure Sir Novelty you never loved this Lady if you are so indifferent at parting Sir No. Why Faith Tom to tell you the Truth her Jealousie has been so very troublesome and expensive to me of late that I have these Three Months sought an opportunity to leave her but Faith I had always more respect to my Life than to let her know it before Hill Methinks Sir Novelty you had very little respect to her Life when you drew upon her Sir No. Why what wou'd you have had me done Madam Complemented her with my naked Bosom No! No! look ye Madam if she had made any Advances I cou'd have disarm'd her in Second at the very first Pass But come Ladies as we walk I 'll beg your Judgments in a particular nice Fancy that I intend to appear in the very first Week the Court is quite out of Mourning Eld. Wor. With all my heart Sir Novelty Come Ladies considering how little rest you 'll have to morrow night I think 't were Charity not to keep you up any longer Y. VVor. Nay as for that matter the night before a Wedding is as unfit to sleep in as the Night following Imagination's a very troublesome Bedfellow Your Pardon Ladies I only speak for my self Eld. VVor. See the Coaches ready at St. Iames's Gate to his Servant Exeunt Enter Two Servants The SCENE Amanda's House 1st Ser. Come come make hast is the Supper and the Musick ready 2d Ser. It is It is Well! is he come 1st Ser. Ay Ay I came before to tell my Lady the News That Rogue Sly manag'd him rarely he has been this half hour pretending to pick the Lock of the Garden-door Well poor Lady I wish her good Luck with him For she 's certainly the best Mistress living Heark ye is the Wine strong as she order'd it Be sure you ply him home for he
must have two or three Bumpers to qualifie him for her Design See here he comes Away to your Post. Exeunt Enter Loveless conducted by Sly Snap stealing after them Lov. Where the Devil will this Fellow lead me Nothing but Silence and Darkness sure the House is haunted and he has brought me to face the Spirit at his wonted hour Sly There there in in Slip on your Night-Gown and refresh your self in the mean time I 'll acquaint my Lady that you are here Exit Lov. Snap Snap Ay Ay Sir I 'll warrant you Exeunt The Scene changes to an Anti-Chamber a Table Light a Night Gown and a Perriwig lying by They Re-enter Lov. Ha! what sweet Lodgings are here where can this end Snap I gad Sir I long to know Pray Heaven we are not deluded hither to be stan'd Methinks I wish I had brought the Remnants of my Dinner with me Lov. Heark I hear some body coming Hide your self Rascal I wou'd not have you seen Snap Well Sir I 'll line this Trench in case of your being in danger Gets under the Table Lov. Ha! This Night-Gown and Peruke don't lye here for nothing I 'll make my self agreeable I have baulk't many a Woman in my time for want of a lean Shirt Puts 'em on Enter Servants with a Supper after them a Man Woman Lov. Ha! a Supper Heaven send it be no Vision If the Meat be real I shall believe the Lady may prove Flesh and Bloud Now am I damnably puzled to know whether this be she or noâ— Madam Bows Wom. Sir my Lady begs your pardon for a moment Lov. Humh her Lady Good Wom. She 's unfortunately detained by some Female Visitors which she will dispatch with all the hast imaginable in the mean time be pleased to refresh you self with what the House affords Pray Sir sit down Lov. Not alone Madam you must bear me Company Wom. To oblige you Sir I 'll exceed my Commission Snap Vnder the Table Was there ever so unfortunate a Dog What the Devil put it in my head to hide my self before Supper why this is worse than being lock'd into a Closet while another Man 's a Bed with my Wife I suppose my Master will take as much care of me too as I shou'd of him if I were in his Place Wom. Sir my humble Service to you Drinks Lov. Madam your humble Servant I 'll pledge you Snap when there 's any danger I 'll call you in the mean time lye still d' hear aside to Snap Snap Igad I 'll shift for my self then snatches a Flask unseen so now I am arm'd defiance to all Danger Lov. Madam your Lady's Health Snap Ay Ay let it go round I say Drinks Wom. Well really Sir my Lady 's very happy that she has got loose from her Relations for they were always teizing her about you But she defies 'em all now Come Sir Success to both your Wishes Drinks Lov. Give me a Glass methinks this Health inspires me My Heart grows lighter for the Weight of Wine Here Madam Prosperity to the Man that ventures most to please her Wom. What think you of a Song to support this Gaity Lov. With all my Heart A Song here Lov. You have oblig'd me Madam Igad I like this Girl she takes off her Glass so feelingly I am half perswaded she's of a thirsty Love If her Lady don't make a little hast I find I shall present my humble Service to her Enter a Servant who whispers Amanda's Woman Wom. Sir I ask your Pardon my Lady has some Commands for me I will return immediately Lov. Your Servant Methinks this is a very new Method of Intriguing Snap Pray Heaven it be Nâ—w for the Old way commonly ended in a good beating But a Pox of Danger I say and so here 's good Luck to you Sir Lov. Take heed Rogue you don't get drunk and discover your self Snap It must be with a fresh Flask then for this is expired Supernatulum Lov. Lie close you Dog I hear somebody coming I am impatient till I see this Creature This Wine has armed me against all thoughts of danger Pray Heaven she be young for then she can't want Beauty Ha! here she comes Now never-falling Impudence assist me Enter Amanda loosly dress'd Am. Where 's my Love O let me fly into his Arms and live for ever there Lov. My Life my Soul runs and embraces her by Heaven a tempting Creature Melting soft and warm as my desire Oh that I cou'd hide my face for ever thus that undiscovered I might reap the Harvest of a Ripe desire without the lingring pains of growing Love Kisses her hand Am. Look up my Lord and bless me with a tender look and let my talking Eyes inform thee how I have languish'd for thy absence Lov. Let 's retire and chase away our fleeting Cares with the Raptures of untir'd Love Am. Bless me your Voice is strangely alter'd Ha! defend me who 's this help help within there Lov. So I am discover'd A Pox on my tatling that I cou'd not hold my Tongue till I got to her Bed-Chamber Enter Sly and other Servants Sly Did your Ladyship call help Madam what 's the matter Am. Villain Slave who 's this what Ruffian have you brought me here Dog I 'll have you murder'd Sly looks in his face Sly Bless me O Lord dear Madam I beg your Pardon as I hope to be saved Madam 't is a mistake I took him for Mr. Am. Be dumb Eternal Block head here Take this Fellow toss him in a Blanket and let him be turn'd out of my doors immediately Sly O Pray Dear Madam for Heavens sake I am a ruin'd Man Snap Ah! Snap what will become of thee Thou art fall'n into the hands of a Tygress that has lost her Whelp I have no hopes but in my Master's Impudence Heaven strengthen it Am. I 'll hear no more away with him Exeunt the Servants with Sly Now Sir for you I expected Lov. A Man Madam did you not Am. Not a Stranger Sir But one that has a Right and Title to that welcome which by mistake has been given to you Lov. Not an Husband I presume he wou'd not have been so privately conducted to your Chamber and in the dark too Am. Whoever it was Sir is not your business to Examine But if you wou'd have Civil Usage pray be gone Lov. To be used Civilly I must stay Madam There can be no danger with so fair a Creature Am. I doubt you are mad Sir Lov. While my Senses have such luscious Food before 'em no wonder if they are in some Confusion each striving to be foremost at the Banquet and sure my greedy Eyes will starve the rest Approaching her Am. Pray Sir keep your distance lest your feeling too be gratified Snap O Lord wou'd I were 100 Leagues off at Sea Lov. Then briefly thus Madam know I like and love you Now if you have so much Generosity as to let me know what
of Sir W. He he I gave your Brother such a Bond Sir Y. W. You did so but the obligation is to me look there Sir Sir W. Very good this is my hand I must confess Sir and what then Y. W. Why then I expect my five thousand Pound Sir pray Sir do you know my Name Sir W. I am not drunk Sir I am sure it was Worthy and Iack or Tom or Dick or something Y. W. No Sir I 'll show you 't is William look you there Sir you shou'd have taken more care of the Lawyer Sir that fill'd up the Blank E. W. So now his Eyes are open Sir W. And have you married my Daughter against my Consent and trickt me out of 5000 l. Sir Hill His Brother Sir has married me too with my Consent and I am Not trickt out of 5000 l. Sir W. Insulting Witch look ye Sir I never had a substantial Cause to be angry in my life before but now I have reason on my side I will indulge my Indignation most immoderately I must confess I have not patience to wait the slow redress of a Tedious Law-Suit therefore am resolv'd to right my self the nearest way draw draw Sir you must not enjoy my five thousand Pound tho' I fling as much more after it in procuring a Pardon for killing you They hold him Let me come at him I 'll murder him I 'll cut him I 'll tear him I 'll Broil him and eat him a Rogue a Dog a Cursed Dog a Cut-throat murdering Dog E. W. O fie Sir William how monstrous is this Passion Sir W. You have disarm'd me but I shall find a time to poison him Lov. Think better on 't Sir William your Daughter has married a Gentleman and one whose Love entitles him to her Person Sir W. Ay but the 5000 l. Sir why the very report of his having such a Fortune will ruin him I warrant you within this week he will have more Duns at his Chamber in a Morning than a gaming Lord after a good Night at the Groom Porters or a Poet upon the fourth day of his New Play I shall never be pleased with paying it against my own Consent Sir Hill Yet you wou'd have had me done it Sir William but however I heartily wish you wou'd as freely forgive Mr. Worthy as I do you Sir Sir W. I must confess this Girls good Nature makes me ashamed of what I have offer'd But Mr. Worthy I did not expect such Usage from a man of your Character I always took you for a Gentleman E. W. You shall find me no other Sir Brother a word with you Lov. Sir William I have some Obligations to this Gentleman and have so great a confidence in your Daughter's Merit and his Love that I here promise to return you your 5000 l. if after the Expiration of one year you are then dissatisfied in his being your Son in Law Y. W. But see Brother he has forestall'd your purpose E. W. Mr. Loveless you have been before-hand with me but you must give me leave to offer Sir William my joint-security for what you have promised him Lov. With all my Heart Sir Dare you take our Bonds Sir William Y. W. Hold Gentlemen I shou'd blush to be oblig'd to that degree therefore Sir William as the first proof of that respect and duty I owe a Father I here unaskt return your Bond and will henceforth expect nothing from you but as my Conduct shall deserve it Am. This is indeed a generous Act methinks 't were Pity it shou'd go unrewarded Sir W. Nay now you vanquish me after this I can't suspect your future Conduct there Sir 't is yours I acknowledge the Bond and wish you all the Happiness of a Bridal Bed Heav'ns Blessing on you both now rise my Boy and let the world know 't was I set you upon your Legs again Y. W. I 'll study to deserve your Bounty Sir Lov. Now Sir William You have shown your self a Father This prudent Action has secured your Daughter from the usual consequence of a stol'n Marriage a Parents Curse Now she must be happy in her Love while you have such a tender Care on 't Am. This is indeed a happy Meeting we all of us have drawn our several Prizes in the Lottery of Human life Therefore I beg our Joys may be united not one of us must part this day The Ladies I 'll intreat my Guests Lov. The rest are mine and I hope will often be so Am. T is yet too soon to dine therefore to divert us in the mean time what think you of a little Musick the Subject perhaps not improper to this Occasion E. W. 'T will oblige us Madam we are all Lovers of it The SCENE Draws and Discovers Love Seated on a Throne attended with a CHORUS Fame HAil hail Victorious Love To whom all Hearts below With no less Pleasure bow Than to the Thundring Jove The Happy Souls above Chorus Hail c. Enter Reason Reason Cease cease fond Fools your Empty Noise And follow not such Ioys Love gives you but a short-liv'd Bliss But I bestow immortal Happiness Love Rebellious Reason talk no more Of all my Slaves I thee abhor But thou alas dost strive in vain To free the Lover from a pleasing Chain In Spight of Reason Love shall live and reign Chorus In Spight c. A Martial Symphony Enter Honor. Honor. What Wretch wou'd follow Loves alarms When Honors Trumpet sounds to Arms Hark! how the Warlike Notes inspire In ev'ry Breast a glowing Fire Love Hark how it swells with Love and soft Desire Honor. Behold behold the married State By thee too soon betray'd Repenting now too late Enter Marriage with his Yoke Marriage O! tell me cruel God of Love Why didst thou my thoughts possess With an Eternal Round of Happiness And yet alas I lead a wretched Life Doom'd to this Galling Yoke the Emblem of a Wife Love Vngratefull Wretch how dar'st thou Love upbraid I gave thee Raptures in the Bridal-Bed Marriage Long since alas the airy Vision 's fled And I with wandring Flames my Passion feed O! tell me pow'rfull God Where I shall find My former Peace of Mind Love Where first I promis'd thee a happy Life There thou shalt find it in a Vertuous Wife Love Fame Go home unhappy Wretch and mourn For all thy Guilty Passion past There thou shalt those Ioys return Which shall for ever ever last End with the First Chorus Lov. 'T was generously design'd and all my Life to come shall show how I approve the Moral Oh! Amanda once more receive me to thy Arms and while I am there let all the World confess my Happiness By my Example taught let every man whose Fate has bound him to a married Life beware of letting loose his wild desires for if Experience may be allow'd to judge I must proclaim the folly of a wandring Passion the greatest Happiness we can hope on Earth And sure the nearest to the Ioys above Is the chast Rapture of a Vertuous Love FINIS PLAYS lately Printed for S. Briscoe 1. THE Boarding-School a Comedy written by Mr. D'urfey 2. Sophonisba or Hannibals overthrow by Mr. Lee. 3. The Mock-Marriage a Comedy written by Mr. Scott 4. She Ventures and He Wins a Comedy written by a young Lady 5. The Comical History of Don Quixote in 3 Parts Also Mr. D'urfey's Songs sett to Musick by Mr. Henry Purcell Dr. Blow Mr. Eccles Mr. Courtivil Mr. Akeroyde and other eminent Masters of the Age in 3 Parts 6. Phyrrus a Tragedy acted at the Theatre in Lincolns-In-Fields written by Mr. Hopkins 7. The Richmond-Heiress a Comedy written by Mr. D'urfey 8. The Marriage-Hater a Comedy by Mr D'urfey 9. The Wives Excuse a Comedy by Mr. Southern 10. The Country Wife a Comedy by Mr. Wicherly 11. The Very Good Wife a Comedy 12. The True Widow a Comedy by Mr. Shadwell Poet-Laureat 13. Traytor a Tragedy by Mr. Rivers 14. Agnes de Castro a Tragedy written by a young Lady 15. Fatal Mistake or the Plot 's Spoil'd by Io. Haines