CITY-HEIRESS OR Sir Timothy Treat-all A COMEDY As it is Acted At his Royal Highness his THEATRE Written by Mrs. A. Behn LONDON Printed for D. Brown at the Black Swan and Bible without Temple-bar and T. Benskin in St. Brides Church-yard and H. Rhodes next door to the Bear-Tavern neer Bride-lane in Fleetstreet 1682. To the Right Honourable Henry Earl of Arundel and Lord Mowbray MY LORD 'T Is long that I have with great impatience waited some opportunity to declare my infinite Respect to your Lordship coming I may say into the World with a Veneration for your Illustrious Family and being brought up with continual Praises of the Renowned Actions of your glorious Ancestors both in War and Peace so famous over the Christian World for their Vertue Piety and Learning their elevated Birth and greatness of Courage and of whom all our English History are full of the Wonders of their Lives A Family of so ancient Nobility and from whom so many Hero's have proceeded to bless and serve their King and Country that all Ages and all Nations mention 'em even with Adoration My self have been in this our Age an Eye and Ear-witness with what Transports of Joy with what unusual Respect and Ceremony above what we pay to Mankind the very Name of the Great Howards of Norfolk and Arundel have been celebrated on Forein Shores And when any one of your Illustrious Family have pass'd the Streets the People throng'd to praise and bless him as soon as his Name has been made known to the glad Croud This I have seen with a Joy that became a true English heart who truly venerate its brave Country-men and joyn'd my dutiful Respects and Praises with the most devout but never had the happiness yet of any opportunity to express particularly that Admiration I have and ever had for your Lordship and your Great Family Still I say I did admire you still I wisht and pray'd for you 't was all I cou'd or durst But as my Esteem for your Lordship dayly increas'd with my Judgment so nothing cou'd bring it to a more absolute height and perfection than to observe in these troublesome times this Age of Lying Peaching and Swearing with what noble Prudence what steadiness of Mind what Loyalty and Conduct you have evaded the Snare that 't was to be fear'd was laid for all the Good the Brave and Loyal for all that truly lov'd our best of Kings and this distracted Country A thousand times I have wept for fear that Impudence and Malice wou'd extend so far as to stain your Noble and ever-Loyal Family with its unavoidable Imputations and as often for joy to see how undauntedly both the Illustrious Duke your Father and your self stem'd the raging Torrent that threatned with yours the ruine of the King and Kingdom all which had not power to shake your Constancy or Loyalty for which may Heaven and Earth reward and bless you the noble Examples to thousands of failing hearts who from so great a President of Loyalty became confirm'd May Heaven and Earth bless you for your pious and resolute bravery of Mind and heroick Honesty when you cry'd Not guilty that you durst like your great self speak Conscientious Truths in a Juncto so vitious when Truth and Innocence was criminal and I doubt not but the Soul of that great Sufferer bows down from Heaven in gratitude for that noble service done it All these and a thousand marks you give of dayly growing Greatness every day produces to those like me curious to learn the Story of your Life and Actions something that even adds a Lustre to your great Name which one wou'd think cou'd be made no more splendid some new Goodness some new act of Loyalty or Courage comes out to cheer the World and those that admire you Nor wou'd I be the last of those that dayly congratulate and celebrate your rising Glory nor durst I any other way approach you with it but this humble one which carries some Excuse along with it Proud of the opportunity then I most humbly beg your Lordships Patronage of a Comedy which has nothing to defend it but the Honour it begs and nothing to deserve that Honour but its being in every part true Tory Loyal all-over except one Knave which I hope no body will take to himself or if he do I must e'en say with Hamlet Then let the strucken Deer go weep It has the luck to be well receiv'd in the Town which not from my Vanity pleases me but that thereby I find Honesty begins to come in fashion again when Loyalty is approv'd and Whigism becomes a Jest where'er 't is met with And no doubt on 't so long as the Royal Cause has such Patrons as your Lordship such vigorous and noble Supporters his Majesty will be great secure and quiet the Nation flourishing and happy and seditious Fools and Knaves that have so long disturb'd the Peace and Tranquility of the World will become the business and sport of Comedy and at last the scorn of that Rabble that fondly and blindly worshipt 'em and whom nothing can so well convince as plain Demonstration which is ever more powerful and prevailent than Precept or even Preaching it self If this have edifi'd effectual 't is all I wish and that your Lordship will be pleas'd to accept the humble Offering is all I beg and the greatest Glory I care shou'd be done MY LORD Your Lordships most Humble and most Obedient Servant A. BEHN THE PROLOGUE Written by Mr. Otway SPOKEN by Mrs. BARRY HOW vain have prov'd the Labours of the Stage In striving to reclaim a vitious Age Poets may write the Mischief to impeach You care as little what the Poets teach As you regard at Church what Parsons preach But where such Follies and such Vices reign What honest Pen has patience to refrain At Church in Pews ye most devoutly snore And here got dully drunk ye come to roar Ye go to Church to glout and Ogle there And come to meet more lewd convenient here With equal Zeal ye honour either place And run so very evenly your Race Y' improve in Wit just as you do in Grace It must be so some Daemon has possest Our Land and we have never since been blest Y' have seen it all or heard of its Renown In reverend shape it stalk'd about the Town Six Yeomen tall attending on its frown Sometimes with humble note and zealous lore ' Twou'd play the Apostolick Function o'er But Heav'n have mercy on us when it swore Whene'er it swore to prove the Oaths were true Out of its mouth at random Halters flew Round some unwary neck by Magick thrown Though still the cunning Devil sav'd its own For when the Inchantment could no longer last The subtile Pug most dexterously uncast Left awful form for one more seeming pious And in a moment vary'd to defie us From silken Doctor home-spun Ananias Left the lewd Court and did in City fix Where
should live to see weeps the sole Daughter and Heir of Sir Nicholas Gettall run away with one of the lewdest Heathens about town Charl. How your Friend Mr. Wilding a Heathen and with you too Mrs. Clacket That Friend Mr. Wilding who thought none so worthy as Mrs. Clacket to trust with so great a secret as his flight with me he a Heathen Mrs. Clack Aye and a poor Heathen too Madam ' Slife if you must marry a man to buy him Breeches marry an honest man a religious man a man that bears a Conscience and will do a woman some Reason Why here 's Mr. Fopington Madam here 's a Shape here 's a Face a Back as straight as an Arrow I 'll warrant Charl. How buy him Breeches Has Wilding then no Fortune Fop. Yes Faith Madam pretty well so so as the Dice run and now and then he lights upon a Squire or so and between fair and foul Play he makes a shift to pick a pretty Livelihood up Charl. How does his Uncle allow him no present Maintenance Fop. No nor future Hopes neither Therefore Madam I hope you will see the difference between him and a man of Parts that adores you Smiling and bowing Charl. If I find all this true you tell me I shall know how to value my self and those that love me This may be yet a Rascal Enter Maid Maid Mistriss Mr. Wilding's below Exit Fop. Below Oh Heavens Madam do not expose me to his lewd fury for being too zealous in your service In great disorder Charl. I will not let him know you told any thing Sir Fop. Death to be seen here would expose my Life To Clacket Mrs. Clack Here here step out upon the Sair-case and slip into my Chamber Going out returns in fright Fop. ' Owns he 's here lock the door fast let him not enter Mrs. Clack Oh Heavens I have not the Key hold it hold it fast sweet sweet Mr. Foping Oh should there be Murder done what a scandal wou'd that be to the house of a true Protestant Knocks Charl. Heavens what will he say and think to see me shut in with a man Mrs. Clack Oh I 'll say you 're sick asleep or out of humour Charl. I 'd give the world to see him Knocks Wild. Without Charlot Charlot Am I deny'd an entrance By Heaven I 'll break the door Knocks again Fop. still holding it Fop. Oh I 'm a dead man dear Clacket Knocking still Mrs. Clack Oh hold Sir Mrs. Charlot is very sick Wild. How sick and I kept from her Mrs. Clack She begs you 'll come again an hour hence Wild. Delay'd by Heaven I will have enterance Fop. Ruin'd undone for if he do not kill me he may starve me Mrs. Clack Oh he will break in upon us Hold Sir hold a little Mrs. Charlot is just-just-shifting her self Sir you will not be so uncivil as to press in I hope at such a time Charl. I have a fine time on 't between ye to have him think I am stripping my self before Mr. Fopington Let go or I 'll call out and tell him all Wild. breaks open the door and rushes in Fop. stands close up at the enterance till he is past him then venturing to slip out finds Wild. has made fast the door so he is forc'd to return again and stand close up behind Wild. with signs of fear Wild. How now Charlot what means this new unkindness What not a word Charl. There is so little Musick in my Voice you do not care to hear it you have been better entertain'd I find mightily employ'd no doubt Wild. Yes Faith and so I have Charlot Damn'd Business that Enemy to Love has made me rude Charl. Or that other Enemy to Love damn'd Wenching Wild. Wenching how ill hast thou tim'd thy Jealousie What Banker that to morrow is to pay a mighty sum wou'd venture out his stock to day in little parcels and lose his Credit by it Charl. You wou'd perfidious as you are though all your Fortune all your future Health depended on that Credit Angry Wild. So Heark ye Mrs. Clacket you have been prating I find in my absence giving me a handsome character to Charlot You hate any good thing should go by your own Nose Aside to Clacket Mrs. Clack By my Nose Mr. Wilding I defie you I 'd have you to know I scorn any good thing shou'd go by my Nose in an uncivil way Wild. I believe so Mrs. Clack Have I been the Confident to all your secrets this three years in sickness and in health for richer for poorer concealed the nature of your wicked Diseases under the honest name of Surfeits call'd your filthy Surgeons Mr. Doctor to keep up your Reputation civily receiv'd your tother end of theâ— Town young Relations at all hours Wild. High Mrs. Clack Been up with you and down with you early and late by night and by day let you in at all hours drunk and sober single and double and civilly withdrawn and modestly shut the door after me Wild. Whir The storm 's up and the Devil cannot lay it Mrs. Clack And am I thus rewarded for my pain Weeps Wild. So Tempests are allay'd by showers of Rain Mrs. Clack That I shou'd be charg'd with speaking ill of you so honest so civil a Gentleman Charl. No I have better witness of your falshood Fop. Hah 'sdeath she 'll name me Wild. What mean you my Charlot Do you not think I love you Charl. Go ask my Lady Galliard she keeps the best account of all your Sighs and Vows And robs me of my dearest softer hours Kindly to him Mrs. Clack You cannot hold from being kind to him Aside Wild. Galliard How came she by that secret of my life aside Why Aye 't is true I am there sometimes about an Arbitration about a Suit in Law about my Uncle Charl. Aye that Uncle too You swore to me you were your Uncles Heir But you perhaps may chance to get him one If the Lady prove not cruel Wild. Death and the Devil what Rascal has been prating to her Aside Charl. Whilst I am reserv'd for a dead lift if Fortune prove unkind or wicked Uncles refractory Yet I cou'd love you though you were a Slave In a soft tone to him And I were Queen of all the Universe Mrs. Clack Aye there you spoil'd all again you forget your self Charl. And all the world when he looks kindly on me But I 'll take courage and be very angry Aside Nor does your Perjuries rest here you 're equally as false to Galliard as to me false for a little Mistriss of the Town whom you 've set up in spight to Quality Angry Mrs. Clack So that was home and handsome Wild. What damn'd Informer does she keep in Pension Charl. And can you think my Fortune and my Youth Merits no better Treatment Angry How cou'd you have the heart to use me so Soft to him I fall insensibly to Love and Fondness Aside Wild. Ah my dear
times an hour Reason rebels against her power In vain I rail I curse her Charms One look my feeble Rage disarms There is Inchantment in her Eyes Who sees 'em can no more be wise Enter Wilding who runs to embrace L. Gall. Wild. Twelve was the luckie minute when we met Most charming of your Sex and wisest of all Widows My Life my Soul my Heaven to come and here Now I have liv'd to purpose since at last Oh killing Joy Come let me sold you press you in my arms And kiss you thanks for this dear happy night L. Gall. You may spare your thanks Sir for those that will deserve 'em I shall give ye no occasion for ' em Wild. Nay no Scruples now dearest of Dears no more 'T is most unseasonable I bring a heart full fraight with eager hopes Opprest with a vast load of longing Love Let me unlade me in that soft white Bosome That Store-house of rich Joys and lasting Pleasures And lay me down as on a Bed of Lillies She breaks from him L. Gall. You 're wonderous full of Love and Rapture Sir but certainly you mistake the person you address 'em to Wild. Why are you not my Lady Galliard that very Lady Galliard who if one may take her word for 't loves Wilding Am I not come hither by your own appointment and can I have any other business here at this time of night but Love and Rapture and L. Gall. Scandalous and vain by my appointment and for so lewd a purpose guard me ye good Angels If after an Affront so gross as this I ever suffer you to see me more Then think me what your Carriage calls me An Impudent an open Prostitute Lost to all sense of Vertue or of Honour Wild. What can this mean Aside Oh now I understand the Mystery Looking on Closet Her Woman 's here that troublesome piece of Train I must remove her Heark ve Mrs. Closet I had forgot to tell you As I came up I heard a Kinsman of yours very earnest with the Servants below and in great haste to speak with you Clos. A Kinsman that 's very likely indeed and at this time of night Wild. Yes a very neer Kinsman he said he was your Fathers own Mothers Uncles Sisters Son what d' ye call him Clos. Aye what d' ye call him indeed I shou'd be glad to hear his name Alas Sir I have no neer Relation living that I know of the more 's my misfortune poor helpless Orphan that I am Weeps Wild. Nay but Mrs. Closet pray take me right This Country-man of yours as I was saying L. Gall. Chang'd already from a Kinsman to a Country-man A plain contrivance to get my Woman out of the Room Closet as you value my service stir not from hence Wild. This Country-man of yours I say being left Executor by your Fathers last will and Testament is come Dull Waiting-woman I wou'd be alone with your Lady know your Que and retire Clos. How Sir Wild. Learn I say to understand Reason when you hear it Leave us a while Love is not a Game for three to play at Gives her Money Clos. I must own to all the world you have convinc'd me I ask a thousand Pardons for my dulness Well I 'll be gone I 'll run you 're a most powerful person the very Spirit of Perswasion I 'll steal out You have such a taking way with you But I forget my self Well your most obedient Servant Whenever you 've occasion Sir be pleas'd to use me frâ—ely Wild. Nay dear Impertinent no more Complements you see I 'm busie now prithee be gone you see I 'm busie Clos. I 'm all Obedience to you Sir Your most obedient L. Gall. Whither are you â—isking and gigiting now Clos. Madam I am going down and will return immediately immediately Exit Clos. Wild. So she 's gone Heaven and broad Gold be prais'd for the deliverance And now dear Widow let 's lose no more pretious time we 've fool'd away too much already L. Gall. This to me Wild. To you yes to whom else shou'd it be unless being sensible you have not discretion enough to manage your own affairs your self you resolve like other Widows with all you 're worth to buy a Governour commonly called a Husband I â—ook ye to be wiser but if that be your designe I shall do my best to serve you though to deal freely with you L. Gall. Trouble not your self Sir to make Excuâ—â—s I 'm not so fond of the offer to take you at your word Marry you a Rakesâ—â—â—e who have not esteem enough for the Sex to believe your own Mother honest without Money or Credit without Land either in present or prospect and half a dozen hungry Vices like so many bawling Brats at your back perpetually craving and more chargeable to keep than twice the number of Children Besides I think you are provided for are you not married to Mrs. Charlot Gettall Wild. Married to her do I know her you shou'd rather ask What Fool has forg'd this unlikely Lye But suppose 't were true cou'd you be jealous of a woman I marry do you take me for such an Ass to suspect I shall love my own Wise On the other side I have a great charge of Vices as you well observe and I must not be so barbarous to let them starve Every body in this Age takes care to provide for their Vices though they send their Children a begging I should be worse than an Inâ—idel to neglect them No I must marry some stiff aâ—kward thing or other with an ugly face and a handsome Estate that 's certain but whoever is ordain'd to make my Fortune 't is you onely that can make me happy Come do it then L. Gall. I never will Wild. Unkindly said you must L. Gall. Unreasonable man because you see I have unusual regards for you Pleasure to hear and trouble to deny you A â—atal yielding in my nature toward you Love bends my Soul that way A weakness I ne'er felt for any other And wou'd you be so base and cou'd you have the heart To take th' advantage on'â— to ruine me To make me infamous despis'd loath'd pointed at Wild. You reason false According to the strictest rules of Honour Beauty shou'd still be the Reward of Love Not the vile Merchandize of Fortune Or the cheap Drug of a Church-Ceremony She 's onely infamous who to her Bed For interest takes some nauseous Olown she hates And though a Joynture or a Vow in publick â—e her price that makes her but the dearer whore L. Gall. I understand not these new Morals Wild. Have patience I say 't is clear All the desires of mutual Love are vertuous Can Heaven or Man be angry that you please Your self and me when it does wrong to none Why rave you then on things that ne'r can be Besides are we not alone and private who can know it L. Gall. Heaven will know 't and I that that 's
enough But when you 're weary of me first your Friend then his then all the world Wild. Think not that tâ—â—e will ever come L. Gall. Oh it must it will Wild. Or if it shou'd cou'd I be such a Villain Ah Cruel if you lov'd me as yoâ— say You wou'd not thus distrust me L. Gall. You do me wrong I love you more than ere my Tongue Or all the Actions of my Life can tell you so well Your very faults how gross soere to me Have something pleasing in ' em To me you 're all That Man can praise or Woman can desire All Charm without and all Desert within But yet my Vertue is more lovely still That is a price too high to pay for you The love of Angels may be bought too dear If we bestow on them what 's kept for Heaven Wild. Hell and the Devil I 'll hear no more Of this Religious stuff this Godly nonsence Death Madam do you bring me into your Chamber to preach Vertue to me L. Gall. I bring you hither how can you say it I suffer'd you indeed to come but not For the base end you fancy'd but to take A last leave of you Let my heart break with Love I cannot be that wretched thing you 'd have me Believe I still shall have a kindness for you Always your Friend your Mistriss now no more Wild. Cozen'd abus'd she loves some other man Dull Blockhead not to find it out before Aside Well Madam may I at last believe This is your fixt and final Resolution And does your Tongue now truly speak your Heart That has so long bely'd it L. Gall. It does Wild. I 'm glad on 't Good night And when I visit you again May you again thus fool me Offers to go L. Gall. Stay but a moment Wild. For what to praise your Night-dress or make court to your little Dog No no Madam send for Mr. Flamfull and Mr. Flutterbuz Mr. Lapp-fool and Mr. Love-all they 'll do it better and are more at leisure L. Gall. Hear me a little You know I both despise and hate those civil Coxcombs as much as Lesteem and love you But why will you be gone so soon and why are you so cruel to urge me thus to part either with your good Opinion or your Kindness I wou'd fain keep 'em both In a soft tone Wild. Then keep your word Madam L. Gall. My word And have I promis'd then to be A Whore A Whore Oh let me think of that A man's Convenience his leisure hours his Bed of Ease To loll and tumble on at idle times The Slave the Hackney of his lawless Lust A loath'd Extinguisher of filthy flames Made use of and thrown by Oh infamous Wild. Come come you love me not I see it plain That makes your scruples that that 's the reason You start at words and run away from shadows Already some pert Fop some Ribon-fool Some dancing Coxcomb has supplanted me In that unsteady treacherous woman's heart of yours L. Gall. Believe it if you will Yes let me be false unjust ungrateful any thing but a Whore Wild. Oh Sex on purpose form'd to plague Mankind All that you are and that you do 's a lye False are your Faces false your floating Hearts False are your Quarrels false your Reconcilements Enemies without Reason and Dear without Kindness Your Friendship 's false but much more false your Love Your damn'd deceitful Love is all o'er false L. Gall. False rather are the Joys you are so fond of Be wise and cease Sir to pursue 'em farther Wild. No them I can never quit but you most easily A woman changeable and false as you L. Gall. Said you most easily Oh inhumane Your cruel words have wak'd a dismal thought I feel 'em cold and heavy at my heart And weakness steals upon my Soul apace I find I must be miserable I would not be thought false In a soft tone coming neer him Wild. Nor wou'd I think you so give me not cause L. Gall. What heart can bear distrust from what it loves Or who can always her own Wish deny Aside My Reason's weary of the unequal strise And Love and Nature will at last o'ercome Do you not then believe I love you To him in a soft tone Wild. How can I while you still remain unkind L. Gall. How shall I speak my guilty thoughts I have not power to part with you conceal my shame I doubt I cannot I fear I wou'd not any more deny you Wild. Oh heavenly sound Oh charming Creature speak that word again agen agen for ever let me hear it L. Gall. But did you not indeed and will you never never love Mrs. Charlot never Wild. Never never L. Gall. Turn your face away and give me leave To hide my rising Blushes I cannot look on you As this last Speech is speaking she sinks into his Arms by degrees But you must undo me if you will Since I no other way my truth can prove You shall see I love Pity my Weakness and admire my Love Wild. All Heaven is mine I have it in my arms Nor can ill Fortune reach me any more Fate I deâ—ie thee and dull World adieu In Loves kind Fever let me ever ly Drunk with Desire and raving mad with Joy Exeunt into the Bed-chamber Wild. leading her with his arms about her Enter Sir Charles Meriwill and Sir Anthony Sir Char. drunk SCENE changes Sir Anth. A Dog a Rogue to leave her Sir Char. Why look ye Uncle what wou'd you have a man do I brought her to her Coach Sir Anth. To her Coach to her Coach Did not I put her into your hand follow'd you out winkt smil'd and nodded cry'd ' buy Charles ' buy Rogue which was as much as to say Go home with her Charles home to her Chamber Charles nay as much as to say Home to her Bed Charles nay as much as to say Hum hum a Rogue a Dog and yet to be modest too That I shou'd bring thee up with no more fear of God before my Eyes Sir Char. Nay dear Uncle don't break my heart now Why I did proffer and press and swear and ly'd and but a Pox on her she has the damndest wheedling way with her as Dear Charles nay priâ—hee he 't is late to morrow my Honour which if you lov'd you wou'd preserve and such obliging Reasons Sir Anth. Reasons Reason a Lover and talk of Reason You lye Sirrah you lye Leave a woman for Reason when you were so finely drunk too a Rascal Sir Char. Why look ye d' ye see Uncle I duâ—â—t not trust my self alone with her in this pickle lest I shou'd a fallen soul on her Sir Anth. Why there 's it 't is that you shou'd adone I am mistaken if she be not one of those Ladies that love to be ravisht of a Kindness Why your willing Rape is all the fashion Charles Sir Char. But heark ye Uncle Sir Anth. Why how now Jack-sawce what
capitulate Sir Char. Why do but hear me Uncle Lord you 're so hasty Why look ye I am aâ— ready d' ye see as any man 〈◊〉 these occasions Sir Anth. Are you so Sir and I 'll make you willing or try Toledo with you Sir Whe what I shall have ye whining when you are sober again traversing your Chamber with Arms across railing on Love and Women and at last defeated turn whipping Tom to revenge your self on the whole Sex Sir Char. My dear Uncle come kiss me and be friends I will be rul'd Kisses him Sir Anth. A most admirable good-natur'd Boy this aside Well then dear Charles know I have brought thee now hither to the Widows house with a resolution to have thee order matters so as before thou quits her she shall be thy own Boy Sir Char. Gad Uncle thou' rt a Cheâ—â—bin Introduce me d' ye see and if I do not so woo the Widow and so do the Widow that â—re morning she shall be content to take me for better for worse Renounce me Egad I 'll make her know the Lord God from Tom Bell before I have done with her Nay baâ—kt by my noble Uncle I 'll venture on her had she all Cupid's Arrows Venus's Beauty and Maâ—alina's Fire d' ye see Sir Anth. A sweet Boy a very sweet Boy Hum thou art damnable handsome to night Charles Aye thou wilt do 't I see a kind of a resistless Lewdness about thee a most triumphant Impudence loose and wanton Stands looking on him Enter Closet Clos. Heavens Gentlemen what makes you here at this time of night Sir Char. Where 's your Lady Clos. Softly dear Sir Sir Char. Why is she asleep Come come I 'll wake her Offers to force in as to the Bed-chamber Clos. Hold hold Sir No no she 's a little busie Sir Sir Char. I 'll have no business done to night Sweetheart Clos. Hold hold I beseech you Sir her Mother 's with her For Heavens sake Sir be gone Sir Char. I 'll not budge Sir Anth. No not a foot Clos. The City you know Sir is so 〈◊〉 Sir Char. Damn the City Sir Anth. All the Wâ—igs Charles all the Whigs Sir Char. In short I am resolv'd d' ye see to go to the Widoâ—s Chamber Sir Anth. Heark ye Mrs. Closet I thought I had intirely engag'd you this evening Clos. I am perfectly yours Sir but now it happens so her Mother being there Yet if you wou'd withdraw for half an hour into my Chamber till she were gone Sir Anth. This is Reason Charles Here here 's two Pieces to buy thee a Gorget Gives â—er Money Sir Char. And here 's my two because 〈…〉 iâ—â—â—strious Givâ—â— her Moneyâ— and goes out with her Enter Lady Galliard in rage held by Wilding L. Gall. What have I done Ah whither shall I flie Weeps Wild. Why all these Tears Ah why this cruel Passion L. Gall. Undone undone Unhand me false sorsworn Be gone and let me rage till I am dead What shou'd I do with guilty Life about me Wild. Why where 's the harm of what we two have done L. Gall. Ah leave me Leave me alone to sigh to flying Winds That the infection may be born aloft And reach no humane Ear. Wild. Cease lovely Charmer cease to wound me more L. Gall. Shall I survive this shame No if I do Eternal Blushes dwell upon my Cheeks To tell the World my Crime Mischief and Hell what Devil did possess me Wild. It was no Devil but a Deity A little gay-wing'd God harmless and innocent Young as Desire wanton as Summer-breezes Soft as thy Smiles resistless as thy Eyes L. Gall. Ah what malicious God Sworn Enemy to feeble Womankind Taught thee the Art of Conquest with thy Tongue Thy false deluding Eyes were surely made Of Stars that rule our Sexes Destiny And all thy Charms were by Inchantment wrought That first undo the heedless Gazers on Then shew their natural deformity Wild. Ah my Galliard am I grown ugly then Has my increase of Passion lessen'd yours In a soft tone L. Gall. Peace tempter Peace who artfully betrayest me And then upbraidest the wretchedness thou 'st made Ah Fool eternal Fool to know my danger Yet venture on so evident a ruine Wild. Say what one Grace is faded Is not thy Face as fair thy Eyes as Killing By Heaven much more This charming change of Looks Raises my flame and makes me wish t' invoke The harmless God again Embraces her L. Gall. By Heaven not all thy Art Shall draw me to the tempting sin again Wild. Oh I must or dye L. Gall. By all the Powers by Wild. Oh do not swear lest Love shou'd take it ill That Honour shou'd pretend to give him Laws And make an Oath more powerful than his Godhead Say that you will half a long hour hence L. Gall. Hah Wild. Or say a tedious hour L. Gall. Death never Wild. Or if you must promise me then to morrow L. Gall. No hear my Vows Wild. Hold see me die if you resolve 'em fatal to my love by Heaven I 'll do 't Lays his hand on his Sword L. Gall. Ah what Wild. Revoke that fatal Never then L. Gall. I dare not Wild. Oh say you will L. Gall. Alas I dare not utter it Wild. Let 's in and thou shalt whisper it into my Bosom Or sighing look it to me with thy Eyes L. Gall. Ah Wilding Sighs Wild. It toucht my Soul Repeat that sigh again L. Gall. Ah I confess I am but feeble woman Leans on him Sir Char. Good Mistriss keep-door stand by for I must enter Sir Char. without L. Gall. Hah young Meriwill's voice Clos. Pray Sir Charles let me go and give my Lady notice She enters and goes to Wild. For Heavens sake Sir withdraw or my Lady's Honour 's lost Wild. What will you have me do To Galliard L. Gall. Be gone or you will ruine me for ever In disorder Wild. Nay then I will obey L. Gall. Here down the back-stairs As you have Honour go and cherish mine Pulling him He 's gone and now methinks the shivering fit of Honour is return'd Enter Sir Charles rudely pushing Closet aside with Sir Anthony Sir Char. Deni'd an entrance nay then there is a Rival in the case or so and I 'm resolv'd to discover the Hellish Plot d' ye see Iust as he enters drunk at one door Wild. returns at the other L. Gall. Ha Wilding return'd shield me ye Shades of Night Puts out the Candles and goes to Wild. Wild. The back-stairs-door is lockt L. Gall. Oh I am lost curse on this fatal night Art thou resolv'd on my undoing every way Clos. Nay now we 're by dark let me alone to guide you sir. To Wild. Sir Char. What what all in darkness Do you make Love like Cats by Star-light Reeling about L. Gall. Ah he knows he 's here Oh what a pain is Guilt Aside Wild. I wou'd not be surpriz'd As Closet takes him to lead him out he takes out his Sword
and by dark pushes by Sir Charles and almost overthrows Sir Anthony at which they both draw whilst he goes out with Closet Sir Char. Hah Gad 't was a Spark What vanisht hah Sir Anth. Nay nay Sir I am for ye Sir Char. Are you so Sir and I am for the Widow Sir and Iust as they are passing at each other Closet enters with a Candle Hah why what have we here my none flesh and blood Embracing his Vncle. Sir Anth. Cry mercy Sir Pray how fell we out Sir Char. Ouâ— Sir Priâ—â—â—e where 's my Rival where 's the Spark the Gad I took thee for an errant Rival Where where is he Searching about L. Gall. Whom seek ye Sir a man and in my Lodgings Angrily Clos. A man merciful what will this scandalous lying World come to Here 's no man Sir Char. Away I say thou damn'd Domestick Intelligence that comest out every half hour with some fresh Sham. No man What 't was an appointment onely hum which I shall now make bold to unappoint render null void and of none effect And if I find him here searches about I shall very civilly and accidentally as it were being in perfect friendship with him pray mark that run him through the Lungs L. Gall. Oh what a Coward 's guilt what mean you Sir Sir Char. Mean why I am obstinately bent to ravish thee thou hypocritical Widow make thee mine by force that so I may have no obligation to thee and consequently use thee scurvily with a good Conscience Sir Anth. A most delicate Boy I 'll warrant him as lewd as the best of 'em God grant him life and Health Aside L. Gall. 'T is late and I entreat your absence Sir These are my hours of prayer which this unseasonable Visit has disturb'd Sir Char. Prayer no more of that Sweetheart for let me tell you your Prayers are heard A Widow of your Youth and Complexion can be praying for nothing so late but a good Husband and see Heaven has sent him just in the crit critical minute to supply your occasions Sir Anth. A Wag an arch Wag he 'll learn to make Lampoons presently I 'll not give sixpence from him though to the Poor of the Parish Sir Char. Come Widow let 's to bed Pulls her she is angry L. Gall. Hold Sir you drive the Jest too far And I am in no humour now for mirth Sir Char. Jest Gad ye lye I was never in more earnest in all my life Sir Anth. He 's in a heavenly humour thanks to good Wine good Counsel and good Company Getting neerer the door still L. Gall. What mean you Sir what can my Woman think to see me treated thus Sir Char. Well thought on Nay we 'll do things decently d' ye see Therefore thou sometimes necessary Utensil withdraw Gives her to Sir Anth. Sir Anth. Aye aye let me alone to reach her her duty Pushes her out and goes out L. Gall. Stay Closet I command ye What have you seen in me shou'd move you to this rudeness To Sir Char. Sir Char. No â—rowâ—ing for by this dear night 't is charity care of your Reputation Widow and therefore I am resolv'd nobody shall lie with you but my self You have dangerous 〈◊〉 buzzing â—bout your Hive Widow mark that She flings from him Nay no parting but upon terms which in short d' ye see are these Down on your knees and swear me heartily as Gâ—d shall judge your Soul dâ—ye see to marry me to morrow L. Gall. To morrow Oh I have urgent buâ—iness then Sir Char. So have I. Nay Gad an you be for the neerest way to wood the sober discreet way of loving I am for you look ye He begins to undress L. Gall. Hold Sir what mean you Sir Char. Onely to go to bed that 's all Still undressing L. Gall. Hold hold or I 'll call out Sir Char. Aye do call up a Jury of your Female Neighbours they 'll be for me d' ye see bring in the Bill Ignoramus though I am no very true blue Protestant neither Therefore dispatch or L. Gall. Hold are you mad I cannot promise you to night Sir Char. Well well I 'll be content with performance then to night and trust you for your promise till to morrow Sir Anth. peeping Ah Rogue By George he out-does my expectations of him L. Gall. What Imposition's this I 'll call for help Sir Char. You need not you 'll do my business better alone Pulls her L. Gall. What shall I do how shall I send him hence Aside Sir Anth. He shall ne'er drink small Beer more that 's poâ—itive I 'll burn all 's Books too they have helpt to spoil him and sick or well found or unsound Drinking shall be his Diet and Whoring his Study Aside Peeping unseen Sir Char. Come come no pausing your promise or I 'll to bed Offers to pull off his Breeches having pull'd off almost all the rest of his Clothes L. Gall. What shall I do here is no Witness neer And to be rid of him I 'll promise him he 'll have forgot it in his sober Passion aside He fumbling to undo his Breeâ—ches Hold I do swear I will Sir Char. What L. Gall. Marry you Sir Char. When L. Gall. Nay that 's too much Hold hold I will to morrow Now you are satisfi'd you will withdraw Enter Sir Anth. and Closet Sir Anth. Charles Joy Charles give ye Joy here 's two substantial Witnesses Clos. I deny it Sir I heard no such thing Sir Anth. What what Mrs. Closet a Waiting-woman of Honour and â—â—inch from her Evidence Gad I 'll damn thy Soul if thou darest swear what thou sayest L. Gall. How upon the catch Sir am I betray'd Base and unkind is this your humble Love Is all your whining come to this false man By Heaven I 'll be reveng'd She goes out in rage with Closet Sir Char. Nay Gad you 're caught struggle and â—lounder as you please Sweetheart you 'll but intangle more let me alone to tickle your Gills â—â—aith Looking after her Uncle get ye home about your business I hope you 'll give me the Gooâ— morrow as becomes me I say no more A word to the Wise Sir Anth. By George thou' rt a brave fellow why I did not think it had been in thee man Well adieu I 'll give thee such a Good morrow Charles the Devil 's in him ' Buy Charles a plaguie Rogue ' Night Boy a Divine Youth Going and returning as not able to leave him Exit Sir Char. Gad I 'll not leave her now till she is mine Then keep her so by constant consummation Let Man a God do his I 'll do my part In spight of all her â—ickleness and art There 's one sure way to fix a Widows heart ACT the Fifth SCENE the First Sir Timothy's House Enter Dresswell Fopington and five or six more disguis'd with Vizards and dark Lanthorns Fop. NOt yet a Plague of this damn'd Widow the Devil ow'd him an unlucky
Pregnant with sweets for the next Sun to ravish Come thou shalt along with me I 'll trust thy friendship Exeunt SCENE changes to Diana's Chamber She is discover'd dressing with Betty Dian. Methinks I'm up as early as if I had a mind to what I 'm going to do marry this old rich Coxcomb Bet. And you do well to lose no time Dian. Ah Betty and cou'd thy prudence prefer an old Husband because rich before so young so handsome and so soft a Lover as Wilding Bet I know not that Madam but I verily believe the way to keep your young Lover is to marry this old one for what Youth and Beauty cannot purchase Money and Quality may Dian. Aye but to be oblig'd to lie with such a Beast aye there 's the Devil Betty Ah when I find the difference of their Embraces The soft dear Arms of Wilding round my neck From those cold feeble ones of this old Dotard When I shall meet instead of Tom's warm Kisses A hollow pair of thin blue wither'd Lips Trembling with Palsie stinking with Disease By Age and Nature baracado'd up With a kind Nose and Chin What fancy or what thought can make my hours supportable Bet. What why six thousand pound a year Mistriâ—s He 'll quickly die and leave you rich and then do what you please Dian. Die no he 's too temperate Sure these Whigs Betty believe there 's no Heaven they take such care to live so long in this world No he 'll out-live me Sighs Bet. In grace a God he may be hang'd first Mistriss Ha one knoc 〈◊〉 lieve 't is he She goes to op 〈◊〉 Dian. I cannot bring my heart to like this business One sight of my dear Tom wou'd turn the scale Bet. Who 's there Enter Sir Tim. joyful Dian. walks away Sir Tim. 'T is I impatient I who with the Sun have welcom'd in the day This happy day to be inroll'd In Rubrick-letters and in Gold Hum I am profoundly eloquent this morning Aside Fair Excellence I approach Going towards her Dian. Like Physick in a morning next one 's heart Aside Which though 't is necessary is most filthy loathsome Going from him Sir Tim. What do you turn away bright Sun of Beauty Hum I 'm much upon the Suns and Days this morning Aside Dian. It will not down Turning to him looks on him and turns away Sir Tim. Alas ye Gods am I dispis'd and scorn'd Did I for this ponder upon the Question Whether I shou'd be King or Alderman Heroickly Dian. If I must marry him give him patience to endure the Cuckolding good Heaven Aside Sir Tim. Heaven did she name Heaven Betty Bet. I think she did Sir Sir Tim. I do not like that What need has she to think of Heaven upon her Wedding-day Dian. Marriage is a sort of hanging Sir and I was onely making a short Prayer before Execution Sir Tim. Oh is that all Come come we 'll let that alone till we are abed that we have nothing else to do Takes her hand Dian. Not much I dare swear Sir Tim. And let us Fair one haste the Parson stays besides that heap of Scandal may prevent us I mean my Nephew Dian. A Pox upon him now for naming Wilding Weeps Sir Tim. How weep at naming my ungracious Nephew Nay then I am provokt Look on this Head this wise and reverend Head I 'd have ye know it has been taken measure on to fit it to a Crown d' ye see Dian. A Halter rather Aside Sir Tim. Aye and it fits it too and am I slighted I that shall receive Billet Deux from Infantas 't is most uncivil and â—mpolitick Dian. I hope he 's mad and then I reign alone Aside Pardon me Sir that parting Tear I shed indeed at naming Wilding Of whom my foolish heart has now tane leave And from this moment is intirely yours Gives him her hand they go out SCENE changes to a Street Enter Charlot led by Fopington followed by Mrs. Clacket Charl. Stay my heart misgives me I shall be undone Ah whither was I going Pulls her hand from Fop. Fop. Do stay till the news arrives that he is married to her that had his company to night my Lady Galliard Charl. Oh take heed lest you sin doubly Sir Fop. By Heaven 't is true he past the night with her Charl. All night what cou'd they find to do Mrs. Clack A very proper Question I 'll warrant you they were not idle Madam Charl. Oh no they lookt and lov'd and vow'd and lov'd and swore eternal Friendship Haste haste and lead me to the Church the Altar I 'll put it past my power to love him more Fop. Oh how you charm me Takâ—s her by the â—and Charl. Yet what art thou a stranger to my heart Wherefore ah why on what occasion shou'd I Mrs. Clack Acquaintance 't is enough I know him Madam and I hope my word will be taken for a greater matter i' th' City In troth you 're beholding to the Gentleman for marrying you your Reputation 's gone Charl. How am I not honest then Mrs. Clack Marry Heaven forbid But who that knows you have been a single hour in Wilding's hands that wou'd not swear you 'd lost your Maidenhead And back again I 'm sure you dare not go unmarried that wou'd be a fine History to be sung to your eternal fame in a Ballad Fop. Right and you see Wilding has left you for the Widow to whom perhaps you 'll shortly hear he 's married Charl. Oh you trifle Sir lead on They going out meet Sir Anthony with Musick they return Sir Anth. Come come Gentlemen this is the House and this the window belonging to my Ladies Bed-chamber Come come let 's have some neat soft brisk languishing sprightly Air now Fop. Old Meriwill how shall I pass by him Stand by Sir Anth. So here 's Company too 't is very well Not have the Boy I 'll warrant this does the business Come come screw up your Chitterling They play Hold hold a little Good morrow my Lady Galliard Give your Ladyship joy Charl. What do I hear my Lady Galliard joy'd Fop. How married her already Charl. Oh yes he has Lovely and false hast thou deceiv'd my Faith Mrs. Clack Oh Heavens Mr. â—opington she faints ah me They hold her Musick plays Enter Wilding and Dresswell disguis'd as before Wild. Ah Musick at Galliard's door Sir Anth. Good morrow Sir Charles Meriwill give your Worship and your fair Lady joy Wild. Hah Meriwill married the Widow Dress No matter prithee advance and mind thy own affairs Wild. Advance and not inquire the meaning on 't Bid me not eat when Appetite invites me Not draw when branded with the name of Coward Nor love when Youth and Beauty meets my eyes Hah Sees Sir Charles come into the Belconey undrest Sir Char. Good morrow Uncle Gentlemen I thank ye Here drink the Kings Health with my Royal Master 's the Duke Gives 'em Money Fid. Heaven bless your
Honour and your vertuous Bride Fop. Wilding undone Shelters Charlot that she may not see Wilding Wild. Death and the Devil Meriwill above Sir Anth. Hah the Boys Rival here By George here may be breathing this morning No matter here 's two to two come Gentlemen you must in Thrusts the Musick in and goes in Dress Is 't not what you expected nay what you wisht Wild. What then it comes too suddenly upon me Ere my last kiss was cold upon her lips Before the pantings of her Breast were laid â—ais'd by her Joys with me Oh damn'd deluding Woman Dress Be wise and do not ruine where you love Wild. Nay if thou com'st to reasoning thou hast lost me Breaks from him and runs in Charl. I say 't was Wilding's voice and I will follow it Fop. How Madam wou'd you after him Charl. Nay force me not By Heaven I 'll cry a Rape Unless you let me go Not after him Yes to th' infernal Sâ—ades Unhand me Sir Fop. How Madam have you then design'd my ruine Charl. Oh trust me Sir I am a Maid of Honour Runs in after Wild. Mrs. Clack So a Murrain of your Projects we 're all undone now For my part I 'll en'â— after her and deny to have any hand in the business Goes in Fop. Damn all ill â—â—ck was ever man thus Fortune-bit that he shou'd cross my hopes just in the nick But shall I lose her thus No Gad I 'll after her and come the worst I have an Impudence shall out-face a Middlesex Jury and out-swear a Discoverer Goes in SCENE changes to a Chamber Enter Lady Galliard pursued by Sir Charles and Footman L. Gall. Sirrah run to my Lord Mayors and require some of his Officers to assist me instantly and d' ye hear Rascal bar up my doors and let none of his mad Crew enter To the Footman who is going Sir Char. William you may stay William L. Gall. I say obey me Sirrah Sir Char. Sirrah I say know your Lord and Master Will. I shall Sir Goes out L. Gall. Was ever woman teaz'd thus pursue me not Sir Char. You are mistaken I 'm disobedient grown Since we became one Family and when I 've us'd you thus a week or two you will grow weary of this peevish fooling L. Gall. Malicious thing I wo'not I am resolv'd I 'll tire thee out meerly in spight to have the better of thee Sir Char. Gad I 'm as resolv'd as you and do your worst For I 'm resolv'd never to quit thy house L. Gall. But Malice there are Officers Magistrates i' th' City that will not see me us'd thus and will be here anon Sir Char. Magistrates why they shall be welcome if they be honest and loyal if not they may be hang'd in Heavens good time L. Gall. Are you resolv'd to be thus obstinate Fully resolv'd to make this way your Conquest Sir Char. Most certainly I 'll keep you honest to your word my Dear I 've Witness L. Gall. You will Sir Char. You 'll find it so L. Gall. Then know if thou darest marry me I will so plague thee be so reveng'd for all those tricks thou 'st playd me Dost thou not dread the Vengeance Wives can take Sir Char. Not at all I 'll trust thy stock of Beauty with thy Wit L. Gall. Death I will cuckold thee Sir Char. Why then I shall be free o' th' Reverend City L. Gall. Then I will game without cessation till I 've undone thee Sir Char. Do that all the Fops of empty heads and pockets may know where to be sure of a Cully and may they rook ye till ye lose and fret and chafe and rail those youthful Eyes to sinking watch your fair Face to pale and withered leanness L. Gall. Then I will never let thee bed with me but when I please Sir Char. For that see who'll petition first and then I 'll change for new ones every night Enter William Will. Madam here 's Mr. Wilding at the door and will not be deni'd 〈…〉 L. Gall. Hah Wilding Oh my eternal shame now thou hast done thy 〈◊〉 Sir Char. Now for a struggle 'twixt your Love and Honour Yes here 's the Bar to all my Happiness You wou'd be left to the wide World and Love To Infamy to Scandal and to Wilding But I have too much Honour in my Passion To let you loose to Ruine Consider and be wise L. Gall. Oh he has toucht my heart too sensibly Aside Sir Anth. within As far as good Manners goes I 'm yours But when you press indecently to Ladies Chambers civil Questions ought to be askt I take it Sir L. Gall. To find him here will make him mad with Jealousie and in the fit he 'll utter all he knows Oh Guilt what art thou Aside Enter Sir Anth. Wild. and Dress Dress Prithee dear Wilding moderate thy Passion Wild. By Heaven I will she shall not have the pleasure to see I am concern'd Morrow Widow you are early up you mean to thrive I see you 're like a Mill that grinds with every Wind. Sir Char. Hah Wilding this that past last night at Sir Timothy's for a man of Quality Oh give him way Wilding's my Friend my Dear and now I 'm sure I have the advantage of him in thy love I can forgive a hasty word or two Wild. I thank thee Charles What you are married then L. Gall. I hope you 've no exception to my choice Scornfully Wild. False woman dost thou glory in thy perfidy To her aside angrily Yes Faith I 've many exceptions to him Aloud Had you lov'd me you 'd pitcht upon a Blockhead Some spruce gay fool of Fortune and no more Who would have taken so much care of his own ill-favour'd Person he shou'd have had no time to have minded yours But left it to the care of some fond longing Lover L. Gall. Death he will tell him all aside Oh you are merry Sir Wild. No but thou art wonderous false False as the Love and Joys you feign'd last night In a soft tone aside to her L. Gall. Oh Sir be tender of those treacherous minutes Softly to him If this be all you have to say to me Walking away and speaking 〈◊〉 Wild. Faith Madam you have us'd me scurvily To marry and not give me notice â—loud Curse on thee did I onely blow the Fire To warm another Lover To her softâ—â— aside L. Gall. Perjur'd was 't not by your advice I marry'd Oh where was then your Love Softly to him aside Wild. So soon did I advise Didst thou invite me to the Feast of Love To snatch away my Joys as soon as tasted 〈…〉 was then your Modesty and sense of Honour Aside to her in a low toâ—e 〈◊〉 Aye where indeed when you so quickly vanquisht Soft 〈◊〉 I find are come prepar'd to rail Aloud Wild. No 't was with thee to make my last effort against your scorn Shews her the Writings And this I hop'd when all my Vows and Love
When all my Languishments cou'd nought prevail Had made ye mine for ever Aloud Enter Sir Anthony pulling in Sir Timothy and Diana Sir Anth. ' Morrow Charles ' Morrow to your Ladyship Charles bid Sir Timothy welcome I met him luckily at the door and am resolv'd none of my Friends shall pass this joyful day without giving thee Joy Charles and drinking my Ladies Health Wild. Hah my Uncle here so early Aside Sir Tim. What has your Ladyship serv'd me so How finely I had been mumpt now if I had not took heart a grace and shew'd your Ladyship trick for trick for I have been this morning about some such business of Life too Gentlemen I am married to this fair Lady the Daughter and Heiress of Sir Nicholas Gettall Knight and Alderman Wild. Hah married to Diana How fickle is the Faith of common women Aside Sir Tim. Hum Who 's here my Lord What I see you Lordship has found the way already to the fair Ladies but I hope your Lordship will do my Wedding-dinner the honour to grace it with your presence Wild. I shall not fail Sir A Pox upon him he 'll discover all Aside L. Gall. I must own Sir Timothy you have made the better choice Sir Tim. I cou'd not helâ— my destiny Marriages are made in Heaven you know Entâ—r Charlot weeping and Clacket Charl. Stand off and let me loose as are my Griefs which can no more be bounded Oh let me face the perjur'd false forsworn L. Gall. Fair Creature who is 't that you seek with so much sorrow Charl. Thou thou fatally fair Inchantress Weeps Wild. Charlot Nay then I am discover'd L. Gall. Alas what wou'dst thou Charl. That which I cannot have thy faithless Husband Be judge ye everlasting Powers of Love Whether he more belongs to her or me Sir Anth. How my Nephew claim'd Why how now Sirrah have you been dabling here Sir Char. By Heaven I know her not Heark ye Widow this is some trick of yours and 't was well laid and Gad she 's so pretty I cou'd find in my heart to take her at her word L. Gall. Vile man this will not pass your falshood off Sure 't is some Art to make me jealous of him To find how much I value him Sir Char. Death I 'll have the forgery out Tell me thou pretty weeping Hypocrite who was it set thee on to lay 〈…〉 me Charl. To you Alas who are you for till this moment I never saw your 〈◊〉 L. Gall. Mad as the Seas when all the Winds are raging Sir Tim. Aye aye Madam stark mad Poor Soul Neighbour pray let her lie i' th' dark d' ye hear Sir Char. How came you pretty one to lose your Wits thus Charl. With loving Sir strongly with too much loving Will you not let me see the lovely false one To L. Gall. For I am told you have his heart in keeping L. Gall. Who is he pray describe him Charl. A thing just like a Man or rather Angel He speaks and looks and loves like any God! All fine and gay all manly and all sweet And when he swears he loves you wou'd swear too That all his Oaths were true Sir Anth. Who is she some one who knows her and is wiser speak you Mistriss To Clacket Mrs. Clack Since I must speak there comes the man of Mischief 'T is you I mean for all your learing Sir To Wild. Wild. So. Sir Tim. What my Lord Mrs. Clack I never knew your Nephew was a Lord Has his Honour made him forget his Honesty Charl. runs and catches him in her Arms. Charl. I have thee and I 'll die thus grasping thee Thou art my own no Power shall take thee from me Wild. Never thou truest of thy Sex and dearest Thou soft thou kind thou constant Sufferer This moment end thy fears for I am thine Charl. May I believe thou art not married then Wild. How can I when I 'm yours How cou'd I when I love thee more than Life Now Madam I 'm reveng'd on all your scorn To L. Gall. And Uncle all your cruelty Sir Tim. Why what are you indeed my Nephew Thomas Wild. I am Tom Wilding Sir that once bore some such Title till you discarded me and left me to live upon my Wits Sir Tim. What and are you no Polish Embassadour then incognito Wild. No Sir nor you no King Elect but must e'en remain as you were ever Sir a most seditious pestilent old Knave one that deludes the Rabble with your Politicks then leave 'em to be hang'd as they deserve for silly mutinous Rebels Sir Tim. I 'll peach the Rogue and then he 'll be hang'd in course because he 's a Tory. One comfort is I have couzen'd him of his rich Heiress for I am married Sir to Mrs. Charlot Wild. Rather Diana Sir I wish you Joy See here 's Charlot I was not such a Fool to trust such Blessings with the Wicked 〈◊〉 How Mrs. Dy Ladyfi'd This is an excellent way of disposing an old 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 How have I married a Strumpet then Diaâ— You give your Nephews Mistriss Sir too coarse a name 'T is true I lov'd him onely him and was true to him Sir Tim. Undone undone I shall ne'r make Guildhall-speech more but he shall hang for 't if there be ere a Witness to be had between this and Salamancha for Money Wild. Do your worst Sir Witnesses are out of fashion now Sir thanks to your Ignoramus Juries Sir Tim. Then I 'm resolv'd to dis-inherit him Wild. See Sir that 's past your skill too thanks to my last nights Ingenuity they 're shews him the Writings sign'd seal'd and deliver'd in the presence of c. Sir Tim. Bear Witness 't was he that robb'd me last night Sir Anth. We bear Witness Sir we know of no such matter we I thank you for that Sir wou'd you make Witnesses of Gentlemen Sir Tim. No matter for that I 'll have him hang'd nay drawn and quarter'd Wild. What for obeying your Commands and living on my Wits Sir Anth. Nay then 't is a cleer case you can neither hang him nor blame him Wild. I 'll propose fairly now if you 'll be generous and pardon all I 'll render your Estate back during Life and put the Writings in Sir Anthony Meriwill's and Sir Charlesâ— his hands I have a Fortune here that will maintain me Without so much as wishing for your death All. This is but Reason Sir Char. With this Proviso that he makes not use on 't to promote any mischief to the King and Government All. Good and just Sir Tim. pauses Sir Tim. Hum I 'd as good quietly agree to 't as lose my Credit by making a noise Well Tom I pardon all and will be Friends Gives him his hand Sir Char. See my dear Creature even this hard old man is mollifi'd at last into good nature yet you 'll still be cruel L. Gall. No your unwearied Love at last has vanquisht me Here be as happy as a Wife can make ye One last look more and then be gone fond Love Sighing and looking on Wilding giving Sir Charles her hand Sir Char. Come Sir you must receive Diana too she is a cheerful witty Girl and handsome one that will be a Comfort to your Age and bring no scandal home Live peaceably and do not trouble your decrepid Age with business of State Let all things in their own due order move Let Caesar be the Kingdoms care and love Let the Hot-headed Mutineers petition And meddle in the Rights of Just Succession But may all honest hearts as one agree To bless the King and Royal Albanie THE END EPILOGUE Written by a Person of Quality SPOKEN by Mrs. BOTELER MY Part I fear will take with but a few A rich young Heiress to her first Love true 'T is damn'd unnatural and past enduring Against the fundamental Laws of Whoring Marrying's the Mask which Modesty assures Helps to get new and covers old Amours And Husband sounds so dull to a Town-Bride You now-a-days condemn him ere he 's try'd Ere in his Office he 's confirm'd Possessor Like Trincaloes you chuse him a Successor In the gay spring of Love when free from doubts With early shoots his Velvet Forehead sprouts Like a poor Parson bound to hard Indentures You make him pay his First-fruits ere he enters But for short Carnivals of stoln good Cheer You 're after forc'd to keep Lent all the Year Till brought at last to a starving Nuns condition You break into our Quarters for Provision Invade Fop-corner with your glaring Beauties And â—ice our Loyal Subjects from their Duties Pray Ladies â—ave that Province to our care A Fool is the Fee-simple of a Player In which we Women claim a double share 〈◊〉 things the Men are Rulers made 〈…〉 Woodcocks is our proper Trade If by Stage-Fops they a poor Living get We can grow rich thanks to our Mother Wit By the more natural Blockheads in the Pit Take then the Wits and all their useless Prattles But as for Fools they are our Goods and Chattels Return Ingrates to your first Haunt the Stage We taught your Youth and help'd your feeble Age. What is 't you see in Quality we want What can they give you which we cannot grant We have their Pride their Frolicks and their Paint We feel the same Youth dancing in our Blood Our dress as gay All underneath as good Most men have found us hitherto more true And if we 're not abus'd by some of you Weâ—re full as fair perhaps as wholesome too But if at best our hopeful Sport and Trade is And nothing now will serve you but great Ladies May question'd Marriages your Fortune be And Lawyers drain your Pockets more than we May Iudges puzzle a clear Case with Laws And Musquetoon at last decide the Cause FINIS