more to abhor the bloud of man wherein his life consisteth Deliuer mee O God from the guilt of that bloud which I haue spilt by the 〈◊〉 of Captaine 〈◊〉 and so many Souldiers vnder his commaund from the punishment of that sinne threatned by Nathan that bloud should not depart from my house and finally from future bloud that I may neuer embrew my hands in bloud hereafter The teares of those widdowes whose husbands were slaine in that disastrous assault made at Rabbah the cryes of those children whose Fathers then lost their liues haue mounted vp to 〈◊〉 do frame my Enditement and make my Processe against me before thy Tribunall and doe call instantly for iudgement according to the iust law of Retaliation He that sheddeth mans bloud his bloud shall be shed Wherefore that I may the sooner obtaine my pardon in such latitude as I desire it I doe re-enforce my prayer with all manner of zeale and earnestnesse Deliuer me O God thou that art the God of my saluation I double thy Name when I tender this single supplication hoping by my affectionate insinuation and vehement compellation to draw thy gracious compassion towards me I take hold of thee as it were with both my hands I cry incessantly for pardon of this sin which cries so eagerly in thine eares for vengeance against me Thou God of my saluation I said elsewhere that saluation is the Lords because it can flow from no other fountaine but here I desire to apply it particularly to draw the water to mine owne Mill and to appropriate it as it were wholly to my selfe Thou art of that gracious nature as wee cannot better please thee then by challenging a speciall interest in thy loue by assuring our selues that thou art ours so that howsoeuer our premisses be generall for remission of sins our conclusion must be speciall proper and peculiar Thou art my God and the God of my saluation I will sing ioyfully or aloud of thy Righteousnesse The satisfaction should be answerable to the trespasse done and the retribution to the benefit receiued in some proportion As to a greater sinne a deeper repentance is due so for a more bountiful fauor a larger returne of thankefulnesse is of congruence required I haue grieued beyond measure for my bloody sinne for the inestimable benefit of my free pardon I know not what to render againe In briefe I can returne nothing but praises and thankes a poore requitall for so rich a mercy But sithence I can yeeld no better no other it is meete I should improoue this and set it forth to the vtmost aduantage Wherefore I will sing ioyfully with a liuely spirit with a cheerefull heart I will sing vocalissimè Alleluia My tongue shall become a Trumpet of thy praises which shall sound them out lustily and loudly I will bestow all my breath and strength in proclayming thine honour I will become a chiefe Chanter I will eleuate the note in the highest straine I will so chant out thy praises as thou shalt take notice of it abundantly and so as the noyse may be heard not only in my priuate Chappell or Oratory but in the chiefe Cathedrall Churches in the greatest congregations on Earth yea euen in the blessed Synode of Angels and Saints in heauen Nay I will not onely sing my selfe but I will call in others also to make vp a full Quire O come 〈◊〉 vs sing loudely let vs 〈◊〉 reioyce c. Thy righteousnesse that is Thy faithfulnes and truth in accomplishment of thy gracious promises to such as truly and sincerely repent and humbly hopefully craue pardon for their sinnes for true iustice doth much consist in the due performance of promises Thou thy selfe hast made thy selfe our debtor not by receiuing from vs. but by promising to vs. No man can say vnto thee Render Lord what thou hast receiued but euery man may and must say Performe O Lord what thou hast promised All thy waies are mercy and truth Mercy whereby thou forgiuest sinners and Truth whereby thou makest good thy promises O then how happy are the people whose God is the Lord who by his 〈◊〉 promise is become their faithfull debtor and whose iustice giues assurance of his mercy whose mercy and truth are met together and whose righteousnesse and peace haue kissed each other So as by a reuerent confidence and a holy kinde of boldnesse I may 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 thee in this 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 by the worth of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 but by 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of thy promise not to lay my sinnes to my charge bee they neuer so many neuer so great I may pleade my interest in the death of my Sauiour and in thy faithfull promise and free pardon to this effect O my God thou that art the God of my saluation it is agreeable to diuine and humane iustice to keepe promise to performe couenant In the new and sacred couenant it is the Article of Inprimis as they say that thou wilt forgiue the sinnes of thy people remember their iniquities no more Make good then thy word and full agreement really and effectually It stands not with thy iustice to exact twice one and the same debt of mee My suerty and elder Brother Christ Iesus hath paied the debt which I owed hath suffered the punishment which I deserued wherefore enter not into iudgement with thy vnworthy seruant O Lord but for the 〈◊〉 of his death and passion accepted by thee with free consent for full satisfaction let me be acquited and discharged of all my transgressions whatsoeuer I will rely and repose my selfe securely vpon thy word and promise because thou hast ratified and confirmed it with an oath with a solemne oath Thou hast sworne by thy selfe because there is no greater to sweare by by thy 〈◊〉 the Lord Iehouah sware vnto Dauid Truth that is a true oath a faithful promise or Truth that is God sware vnto Dauid He will not turne away the face of his Anoynted his seed shall indure for euer thou hast sworne by thy life I will not the death of a sinner if he repent he shall liue Oh happy people for whose cause thou vouchsafest to sweare Oh most miserable wretches if we beleeue thee not when thou swearest Thy word O Lord is an 〈◊〉 in it selfe and of it selfe so faithfull thou art but to giue vs full 〈◊〉 thou dost condescend to our capacity and infirmity thou makest assurance to men after the manner of men with whom a promise clothed with an oath seemes of greater strength and validity then a bare and naked word and therefore out of abundance of thy loue dost vse a protestation or adiuration otherwise needlesse to remooue out of our incredulous hearts all distrust and colour of dubitation 15 Open thou my lips O Lord and c. BVt I haue beene too forward now I thinke of it to engage my selfe so deepely to sing ioyfully and sound loudly thy righteousnesse I confesse I haue promised more
THE PSALME OF MERCY OR A MEDITATION vpon the 51. Psalme by a true Penitent LONDON Imprinted by Felix Kyngston and are to be sold by Matthew Lownes 1625. TO MY REVEREND FRIEND Mr. IOHN DOVVNAME Bachelar in Diuinity and Preacher of Gods Word REVEREND SIR WHen first I fell into my grieuous affliction as a man surprized with a mighty Tempest I did in the midst of mine astonishment bethinke my selfe how to apply my courses to the appeasing of Gods anger whence 〈◊〉 crosse proceeded and the sauing of my perplexed soule the mayne marke whereat 〈◊〉 aymed In that case I suddainely and strongly resolued to take Gods Booke into my hand by it as by the true Card and compasse to saile safely thorow the sea of this worlds troubles in hope ioyfully in the end to arriue at the hauen of rest and true 〈◊〉 Among the bookes of holy Writ I 〈◊〉 mine eyes and thoughts specially vpon the Psalmes of Dauid which are a short and sweete 〈◊〉 of all Scripture and 〈◊〉 mysteries therein comprized Among the Psalmes I conuersed more frequently in those that are singled from the rest and stiled by a speciall title The Penitentialls as the fittest medicines for my malady which are as one saith the Anatomy of the spirit and the heart as it were of the new man True it is which I confesse ingenuously though to mine own reproach that albeit I had very often heretofore heard and red those Psalmes wherein Dauid his pangs and passions are liuely described with a kinde of 〈◊〉 delight and pleasing regret as men behold Tragedies on a stage and reade lamentable stories Yet could I not fully rellish and truly tast them whiles I liued in quietnesse and contentment nor indeed vntil I had by personall experience felt in some proportion Dauid his 〈◊〉 and wounded spirit So true is that which sundry of the Fathers haue obserued and Saint Bernard deliuers in these words You shall neuer rightly vnderstand Dauid vntill by experience you haue put on the very affections in which Dauid his Psalmes were endited for none can expresse a passion that feeles it not neither can the penne deliuer but what it copieth out of the 〈◊〉 Now being best acquainted with mine owne disabilities and defects I did 〈◊〉 chuse this Plaine-song to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 being the prime 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Penitentiall and a liuely Character of a true Mourner though shaped to the particular condition of Dauid yet fitting euery penitent sinner because it seemes to require the compunction of the heart rather then the consideration of the head an imitation rather then an interpretation an application rather then an explication This is The Psalme of Mercy by excellency so called because it beginneth with Miserere which prisoners indicted and conuicted for lesser fellonies at our Assizes and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 doe so often call and 〈◊〉 for at the Iudges hands For 〈◊〉 that can neither vnderstand nor reade the Latine tongue can say it by rote as they say and doe craue mercy in desiring to be put to reade this Psalme of mercy But without all question the most holy and iust man vpon earth had neede to beg of the great Iudge of heauen and earth that hee will 〈◊〉 to heare him read with his tongue and tune with his heart this sweete though 〈◊〉 Psalme of mercy in his daily 〈◊〉 lest he be condemned when hee comes to be arraigned at the grand Assizes When all offendors without witnesse or Iury are to be accused conuicted 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 of their own consciences 〈◊〉 not to appeare it will bee impossible and to appeare without this Psalme of mercy it will be intolerable For who is he among the sonnes of men that may not truly say with that ancient Father A sinner I am spotted with all manner of staines borne for nothing else in this life but to act repentance all my life what other person 〈◊〉 I sustaine vpon the stage of this world Vpon perusall of the Psalme and some few 〈◊〉 thereof for I did not 〈◊〉 many chewing the Cud as it were I haue cast it and them into mine own mold expressed the sense in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 plaine language and paralelling mine with Dauids perplexities applied his plaisters to my sores I 〈◊〉 with the same measure of spirit I hope with the like successe of grace If you meruaile that I being no Diuine should aduenture the conceiuing much more the publishing of a Meditation of this nature My answere is briefely That the subiect of it belongs to the art of Christianity which euery man is bound to know and not onely to the profession of Diuinity and that in absence of the Master one 〈◊〉 now and than teacheth another and he that learnes of his Schoolefellow will sometimes apprehēd it sooner from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 from his Master And I hope to suffer the more gentle censure for suffering this weake Essay to see light in this Age which is actiue in scribling and printing euen to ryot and excesse because I see mens wills of their gifts to charitable vses daily printed to incite others by their example to the like courses Why then may not any man declare publish the pious bequest of his soule as it were and set the presse on worke to expresse and record his repentance build his tombe of black-Marble erect it in the Temple of Gods people that by looking vpon 〈◊〉 Ensignes and reading the Epitaph others may be mooued as in Christian affection to condole with him so by a kinde of reflection to mourne for themselues If a man would prouide a mourning suite for his sorrowfull heart what hurt or losse were it to see diuers formes and fashions to make choyce of for patternes The more course the Stuffe and lesse curious the fashion the fitter for the grat Dueil or solemne mourning My model may better please some mourner then a better If no other vse be made The often iteration and frequent renouation of this matter 〈◊〉 vsuall and ordinary resort to houses of mourning may giue occasion to refresh and reuiue that diuine passion which should euer liue in vs till it dye with vs to wit Repentance What fruite others may reape by this my meditation I know not but sure I am that by entertayning the time and employing my thoughts vpon this subiect I haue excluded a world of idle fancies and tumultuous cogitations which otherwise would haue seized vpon me and swallowed many indignities and discontentments that would haue disturbed the peace of my soule had it not beene foreprized by an exercise of this nature as an Antidote against such poisons The cause why I present and submit it to your view and censure is not only for that I reuerence your great learning and singuler piety well knowne to our whole Church by your sundry books but specially in a recognition of the much contentment I found in that worke of yours which deseruedly beares the Title of Consolations for the afflicted or
whom shall I addresse my selfe Hell will not the earth cannot relieue me and I dare not lift vp mine eyes to Heauen hauing so highly offended against Heauen and before thee the great King of Heauen I am assailed on euery side assailed by mine own iniquities assailed by thy graces Where may I shrowd my selfe from my sinnes How can I hide mee from my selfe Where may I expect succour Whence may I hope for helpe sithence thy graces which I haue turned into wantonnesse doe conuince me of foule ingratitude doe multiply iniquities vpon me and euen arme thy mercies against me The extremity of my Condition is such as will afford no long time of deliberation In briefe there is one onely way left of escape and euasion and that is by flying from thee to fly to thee to appeale from thy seate of Iustice to thy throne of Mercy as to thy Court of last resort which is alwaies open Either that way or no way can I be rescued from vtter destruction The most odious sinne of desperation wil but plunge me further into the depth of damnation But with the Lord there is maruailous mercy and plenteous redemption By this meanes it is possible without it impossible to saue my sinfull soule Wherefore my resolution is in the lowest degree of humiliation in the deepest straine of contrition faithfully and yet in a sort fearefully to repose my selfe vpon his infinite and vnspeakeable compassion I will pierce mine entralles and pricke the heart of my corrupt heart to the quicke I will let out a flood of teares which are the bloud of my soule I will mingle my zealous and humble prayers with those salt and brackish teares I will knocke hard at his mercy gate and cry aloud Miserere A MEDITATION VPON THE PSALME of Mercy 1. Haue mercy vpon me O God according to thy great mercy and according to the multitude of thy tender compassions blot out my transgressions THAT which I begge at thy hands O God is mercy for of many properties in thee which are all essentiall to thee there is none so vsefull none so delightfull to my perplexed soule as is thy mercy Were it not for thy Mercy thy Maiesty would affright thy Wisedome confound thy Iustice condemne and thy Power destroy me as on the other part through the sweete mixture of thy Mercy thy Maiestie will reuiue thy Wisedome enlighten thy Iustice acquit thy Power preserue me and euery of thy other Attributes will contribute to the aduancement of my inestimable benefit and endlesse good In Mercy all my prayers and petitions are comprized by Mercy all my defects and desires are satisfied for Mercy all my prayses and thankes are returned Euery thing that hath being doth naturally affect continuance and well being Euery Man doth or should desire his chiefe good and true happinesse which consists in thy remission of his sinnes in his reconciliation to thee and that is the blessed and kindely fruite of thy gracious and tender mercy alone A sinner I am and who is not Therefore I cannot seeke for happines in freedome from sinne that is aboue the nature of man but in the free pardon of my sinne by grace which surmounts all the sinnes of all the world Thou didst looke downe O Lord from all eternity out of thy highest throne of Heauen by way of Suruey among the sonnes of men in all ages and generations all things and persons being euer present vnto thee to see if there were any that would vnderstand and seeke after thee But vpon exact enquiry returne was made they were all found corrupt and abominable There was not one that did good no not one Which for greater vehemency and euidence of the truth is repeated the second tyme and purposely recorded by an infinite foresight to take away all colour of doubt and to impose perpetuall Silence to such as afterwards might deceiue themselues and abuse others with an opinion of their owne iustice and holinesse as answerable to thy diuine law and meritorious of thy louing fauour Wherfore I present this lamentable supplication and sing this dolefull ditty though framed for my selfe 〈◊〉 yet fitting euery of the sonnes of Adam generally Haue Mercy vpon mee O God I call vpon thee O God at this time by the name of Elohim which purports the Trinity of Persons and not of Iehouah which denotes the Vnity of substance in the Godhead for my threefold sinne doth iustly occasion mee to fixe mine eyes vpon the Three persons distinctly Vpon thee O Father who art power against whom I haue offended by abuse of my regall Power in murdering Captaine Vriah and his whole troope Vpon thee O Sonne who art Wisedome by vsing finenesse and fraud in carrying closely and cunningly contriuing the murder Vpon thee O holy Ghost who art goodnesse whom I haue grieued by defiling my hands with blood and body with 〈◊〉 which is or should be thy temple and habitation When I implore thy great Mercie I imply my great misery The Phisick of the body must be attempered to the malady If the receipt be giuen vnder the due Dosis it may moue but it will not remoue the peccant humors Desperate diseases must haue soueraigne 〈◊〉 for meane medicines will neuer cure great griefes If the plaster bee too skant for the sore If the wound be not throughly teinted and wholy couered it will neuer bee well cured or soundly recouered As it is in the diseases and sores of he body so is it also in 〈◊〉 of the soule One deepe 〈◊〉 another the depth of sinne requires the depth of grace and a depth of misery calleth for a depth of mercy If I aske my selfe why is thy Mercy great for that there is no cause of thy mercy but thy Mercy I must answere by the effect Because thou canst 〈◊〉 my soule from the nethermost hell from such anguish of body from such perplexity of spirit from such terrors and torments as are ready to ouerwhelme mee in the pit of destruction If I aske how great is thy Mercy I must giue an answere answerelesse I know it to be meruailous great but how great it is I cannot comprehend The immensity of it I haue assayed to shadow out by such resemblances as the world affords to outward sence for the shallow conceits and weake capacities of mortall men being not able with my thoughts to reach much lesse with my tongue or penne to expresse it The height of thy mercy I 〈◊〉 to the altitude of the Heauen aboue the Earth the bredth to the distance of the East from the West the depth to the affection of parents to their children butalas these are no euen matches for that which is limited and finite hath no proportion at all with that which is vnlimited and infinite Thy Mercy O Lord is as thou art thou art great without quantity as thou art good without quality Thou art not merciful but mercy not good but goodnesse not louing but
Loue it selfe in the abstract The extent of thy goodnesse loue and mercy is such as hath no bounds the depth is such as hath no bottome The influence of it will make me feele that which no eloquence can vtter no intelligence can containe No man can tell how sweete hony is but hee that tasteth it I see O Lord great fruite of thy rich roote of Mercy For were not thy mercy exceeding great few or none could liue here the life of grace or there the life of glory Looke how many Saints there be in heauen or on earth by inchoation here in perfection there So many worthy examples so many infallible demonstrations there are of thine vnspeakeable mercy without which they should 〈◊〉 haue perished and sunke downe to Hell If therefore thy Iustice lift vp it selfe as the high Mountaines to eclipse the light of thy gracious countenance from mee I will raise my selfe yet higher in confidence of thy Truth which reacheth to the clouds and thy Mercy which mounts euen to the heauen of heauens I will frame this comfortable consequence to my distressed soule if thy mercy bee magnified aboue thy Iustice it must needs bee farre aboue my transgressions O Lord I haue caused my sinne to abound farre beyond the bankes and bounds of thy Law but it is thy property to pardon and the property of thy Mercy where sinne abounds there to superabound Thy mercy doth euen crosse and controule thy Iustice and as the highest Orbe doth by violence carry with it the inferior Spheres against their proper inclinations and motions So the force of thy powerfull mercy doth ouerrule my naturall and wilfull courses running to wickednesse and in that race hasting to iust condemnation My sinnes therefore how great soeuer cannot stop the flowing of thy vast Ocean of Mercy When I fall into computation and comparison of my sinnes on the one side and thy mercies on the other I finde by diuine Arithmetike and the true Iacobs-staffe to my singular comfort that my sinnes how great and how many soeuer yet may bee both measured and reckoned but on the other part that neither the magnitude nor the multitude of thy mercies can be either fathomed or numbred I beg thy great Mercy because thy lesser mercies will not doe the turne which my miserable condition requires For they may ease me of lesser miseries of afflictions in body of distresses in estate of other incumbrances in the world but it is thy larger Mercy that must forgiue not my lesser only but my greater sinnes which haue prouoked thy iust and heauy indignation against me Thy wayes O God are not as mans wayes nor thy mercies as mans mercies Mans mercy is short and scant mingled with hardnesse and maymed with sundry imperfections In ciuill matters some man will forgiue the interest but not the principall some man will forgiue the halfe but not the whole debt some man will forbeare to demand the debt yet will not forgoe the Bond hee will keepe that to curbe his debtor vpon all occasions In matters criminall one will forgiue the fault but not the punishment another will remit a part but not all the penalty a third will forgiue but not forget the iniury But thy Mercy O Lord is great large free and absolute intire and indefinite or rather infinite Thou forgiuest both the fault and punishment royally and really all is acquitted and discharged at once in accomplishment of that comfortable clause in the cloze of thy new Couenant Thou wilt remember our iniquities no more The multitude of my sinnes occasions me to parallel them with the multitude of thy mercies that there may bee a medicine for each malady a salue for euery sore I touch still vpon one and the same string though with some variety because the meditation and modulation of this mercy of thine is as sweet Musicke in mine eare and a ioyfull Iubile in my soule I striue to expresse one and the same thing in diuers words or phrases great mercy and a multitude of mercies being all one in sence and meaning for great mercy comprehends a multitude of mercies and a multitude of mercies amounts to one great masse of mercy The greatest mercy that the greatest person can doe to the most miserable wretch vpon earth is not to bee compared to the least of thy mercies which thou affoordest to the holiest man that liues in regard of the infinite disproportion that is betweene the Offendor and the Offended the Creator of Heauen and earth and dust and ashes Howbeit euen in thine infinite mercy as it hath relation to sinfull man there be degrees whereof we cannot better take the skantling then by our greater or lesser offences committed against thy diuine Maiesty for the Law of gratitude amongst men teacheth mee to acknowledge that thy loue is greater to them to whō thou forgiuest greater thē to such as thou acquitest of smaller debts Therefore as my more heynous sinnes at the Tribunall of thy iustice do call for seuerer punishment so at thy throne of mercy which is aboue thy seate of iustice and to which I appeale as to thy Court of last resort they begge and craue for thy more great and tender compassions Debt is a burthen and a great debt is an heauy burden hee that beares an honest minde cannot be quiet in minde so long as hee continues in debt My sins are my debts and that scoare runnes still in my minde whereon I haue runne so fast and so farre I professe truly that my sins haue gone ouer not my body only but my head also and that they are a burden too heauy for mee to beare I know O Lord thou keeper of men that thou markest what is amisse in me thou scorest vp my sinnes my wilde and wandring thoughts my vaine and wicked words my foule and filthy actions thou keepest a day and a debt-booke of them to charge mee by way of account whensoeuer it pleaseth thee thou settest them downe in capitall and red letters to declare thine anger thou grauest them with the poynt of a Diamond and writest them with a pen of Iron both in thy Registry of Heauen and in the Tablet of mine own conscience on earth placing on the right side thereof the straight rules of thy Law and mine Obliquities on the left each as a foile to set forth the other Debts must either be paid or forgiuen else they cannot be discharged Pay O Lord I cannot I am become bankrupt I am not able no not by way of composition to answer thee one for a thousand Therefore it remaines onely that I beseech thee whose propertie it is to haue mercy and forgiue to crosse this debt-booke to wipe out the score to cancell the hand-writing and deface the record that is against me to put away and blot out my transgressions that there may remaine no memory of them either to prouoke thy heauy vengeance or to affright my
distressed soule Wash mee wash mee againe and againe or wash me throughly from mine iniquity and cleanse mee from my sinne As my sinnes being in nature of debts are registred in thy book and set vpon thy score so like spots and staynes they blemish and deface the Image of thy diuine nature ingrauen in my soule at the Creation of it in such sort as thou canst hardly discerne it to be thy workemanship and therefore I intreate thee to wash me often and throughly that I may appeare cleane and holy in thy pure and piercing eyes There is nothing so pure O Lord as thou art in thy diuine nature nothing so foule as I am by naturall and actuall corruption Wherefore I thinke nothing too much to bring the most defiled thing on earth to the 〈◊〉 Essence in heauen and that makes me to beg againe and againe that thou wilt wash me againe and againe Sinne is filthy to thinke of more filthy to speake and heare of most filthy to act and commit there is nothing in it or any part or passage of it but vilenesse basenesse and filthinesse All the washings in thy Leuiticall Law were types and figures of this Spirituall washing in the blood of the Lambe slaine from the beginning of the world Wash me O Lord with the water of thy grace with that water whereof whoso drinketh shall neuer thirst wash mee with the water of mine owne teares with the water of thy Word with the water of thy Sacraments I know O Lord that vnlesse thou wash mee I can haue no part or portion in the. e Wherefore I beseech thee to wash not my feete onely but my head also and all the parts and members of my body yea to rince and scowre my soule and all the powers and faculties thereof that I may present both soule and body an holy and acceptable sacrifice vnto thee It is thy blessed busines O Christ to 〈◊〉 me in this worlde that thou maist render me spotlesse to thy Father in another world I sinne daily and therefore had neede of daily washing I sinne continually and therfore had 〈◊〉 of continuall washing for the word including a multiplication of washing doth imply a multiplication of sinning For if my soule lothing the filth and mire wherewith shee hath soiled her selfe euen to vglinesse take a course by the teares of contrition for the cleane washing of her face how soone doth the old dirt of sinne spurt into her visage againe So that the businesse of the soule in this life if it be a life of repentance is neuer at an end being indeed nothing else but the washing of that which is foule and the fouling of that which was washed There be as it is reported in the story of nature certain flying fishes whose wings by flying waxe dry and being dry lose their flying so as they must euer and anon returne to the Sea by the moisture thereof to enable their flight againe Euen so my soule washed in the lauer of regeneration and mounting vp towards heauen through this wicked world her wings euen her best purposes cogitations and conceptions easily grow dry by the contagion of earthly conuersation vnlesse they bee often bathed and moistened in the waters of repentance to carry her thorow to her iournies end So then my case and condition is such as in regard of many sports howerly falling and deepely staining my ill fauoured and disfigured Soule 〈◊〉 haue iust cause to pray earnestly that I may bee both often and throughly washed and by thee who canst alone make me cleane and clense me from my sinnes As I haue a great debt to be discharged much filthinesse to bee washed so haue I a loathsome Leprosie of sinne to be clensed wherefore I pray thee O Lord to clense mee from from my sinnes This Leprosie and the cure of it were shadowed out and figured also by sundry purgations clensings in thy Leuiticall law all poynting to that blood of the Lambe whereby my sinnes are purged The Leprosie as Physiicans tell vs is an hereditary disease descending from the Father to the Child An ignominious and odious disease banishing the Leper from all company a contagious disease spreading from man to man 〈◊〉 then the Plague a dull and stupid disease that makes him insensible altogether and a dangerous or rather desperate disease 〈◊〉 or not at all to be cured In all which 〈◊〉 sinne may fitly bee resembled to a 〈◊〉 for sinne comes by propagation from our first Parents to all their posterity It separates vs from thy presence from the company of thy 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of Angels and all good men It infecteth others and poyloneth not onely with the breath but with the sight of it too It benums vs so as wee feele not thy fearefull iudgements It is vtterly incurable otherwise then by the blood of the Lambe It hath been obserued that the teares of a Vine when it bleedes are a very good medicine for curing of the bodily Leprosie 〈◊〉 so the teares of the heart 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and lies lowe as doth 〈◊〉 Vine that 〈◊〉 and mournes in humility for sinne auaile much to 〈◊〉 clensing of this Leprosie of the soule My sinne as a Leprosie doth ouerspread both my soule and body from the crowne of the head to the sole of the foote from the highest faculty of my vnderstanding to the lowest affection of my will there is no sound part in mee my disease is growne to the height to full ripenesse or rather foule rottennesse it hath put out the scabbe as they say by enormious and scandalous actions Wherefore I beseech thee who art the prime and soueraigne Physician to looke vpon me with the eye of pitty and to clense and cure mee of my Leprous sinne and sinfull Leprosie 2. I know mine owne wickednesse and my sinne is euer before me or my sinne is euer against me BEfore the Prophet Nathan was sent as a speciall Bailife to summon me by a writ ad meliùs inquirendum I cast mine eye carelesly I did not fixe it fully I looked slightly and superficially as in passage not sadly and mournefully vpon my grieuous sins I did not behold them so seriously as I ought to haue done I saw but the Epitome or grosse summe of them I did not viewe them in the large volume written at length or rathere painted out as now they are in their true shapes and colours Euery man by the light of nature must needs see somewhat of this kinde in the glasse of his owne conscience but through the corruption of nature no man is willing to take a perfect suruay and make a full portraiture of his own transgressions There is in man an affected ignorance and blindnesse in this behalfe and who so blinde as he that will not see who so ignorant as hee that will not know As wee put off the euill day so long as we can so we put by the euill obiect so farre as wee may
houses that at their comming in and going out they might bee euer mindfull of their iourney and passage to death If those Heathen by the light of nature tooke so wise a course how much more ought Christians by the lampe of grace still behold their sins as their Graues wherein their soules must lye eternally buried vnlesse they bee timely raised and thorowly renewed by repentance As the sight of the Brazen Serpent did cure the sting of the serpents so the 〈◊〉 and displeasing sight of my sins doth take away the biting of these serpents So then in the middest of the discontent which I finde in this fearefull and wofull sight of my grieuous sins there is this singular comfort that thou in mercy turnest thy face from them thou castest them behinde thee while I set them before mee They doe not deepely displease thee and me at one and the same time when they procure my sorrow and humiliatiō they cease to prouoke thine anger and indignation My sins neuer 〈◊〉 mee but when they delight mee they neuer displease thee but whē they please me Wherefore as fóule as the obiect as odious as the 〈◊〉 is in my better iudgement I am contented with an impatient patience still to represent it to my soule because howsoeuer in it selfe vgly it vshers me by degrees to the view and contemplation of thy vndeserued loue and fauor which at length as the bright sun dispels all the cloudes of care and mists of Melancholy and raises my deiected heart to the participation of vnspeakable consolation Wretched and vnhappy I was in committing so great and grieuous sinnes but I am happy in a sort in this vnhappinesse if I haue eyes to see my sins being committed to see them as it were thorow a perspectiue glasse so as they may seeme in ful proportion as great to mee as they are in deed Satan deales with his vassales as the Rauen doth with the Lambe the Rauen first picks out the silly creature his eyes and then carries him out of the way securely to deuoure him First Satan blindes me in sinne and then hee bindes me in the chaines of darknesse as fast as hee can of purpose to throw me into vtter darkenesse When after shippewracke I see the Rocke which I could not foresee before I fell vpon it I striue by all meanes to auoyde it the second time When I see my sinnes past in the true lineaments of their vgly shape I cannot but bee shie and wary to shun the like monsters euer after When the bayted hook of sinne is cast before me I see the baite of pleasure only but not the hooke of thy iudgements but after I haue beene catched and felt and seene the bare hooke without a bayte I become circumspect and suspect euery bit I swallow for feare lest I be ensnared againe My sinne is euer against me ranged as it were and marshalled in battaile aray against me My sinne doth proudly affront and directly oppose mee nay it doth euen outface mee shamelesly Before Nathan came vnto me I had cast my sinnes behinde my backe his message hath caused mee to transpose them for now they are set before my face they stand stoutly against me euen to my face My sinne O Lord as it is a witnesse so is it an informer against my conscience it charges and conuicts me before thy iudgement seate I haue no hope of preuarication I see no way of euasion It makes hue and crie against mee with eager pursuite it will not giue ouer till I be apprehended and deliueted into the hands of iustice When there is no man to vexe mee outwardly I torment my selfe inwardly as holy Iob confessed in those words Why hast thou set me ouer against thee I am become burden some euen to my selfe Thou diddest set his sinnes against him which made him conceiue that thou diddest set him against thee as a marke to shoote thine arrowes of anger at but when 〈◊〉 began thorowly to feele thou diddest begin graciously to ease him of his burden My sinne as it opposes against mee so it interposes betweene thee and me in such sort as neither my prayers can ascend to thee nor thy graces descend to mee vnlesse thy mercy interuene to keepe the peace and cleere the passage betweene vs. Against thee thee only haue I 〈◊〉 Now my inclosed sorrow must haue vent my oppressed conscience must be disburthened This knowledge and representation breeds an acknowledgement and recognition of my sin The contrition of my heart forceth from me a confession of my mouth I can hold no longer but must needs with teares in mine eyes and anguish in my soule crie out Peccaui and with an ingemination by way of aggrauation Against thee against thee onely to declare my iust indignation against my selfe for committing so foule and grieuous faults against that great Maiestie and that gracious goodnesse which I haue so highly offended And thus doe I limit and as it were appropriate my offences as committed against thee alone for many causes For although I haue sinned against Heauen and against Earth yet is there no witnesse of my sinne on earth but thou O God in Heauen so closely and cunningly haue I carried it That I defiled the wife to conceale that destroyed the life of Vriah was not knowne to the world that I so treacherously and cruelly exposed to slaughter a great troope of Souldiers fighting for mee and vnder my command to couer my wicked designe against Vriah was hidden from the eyes of men Thou knowest and seest all things wherefore against thee onely haue I sinned Againe though there bee no man that dare reprooue mee that will accuse me that cā punish me being a King and aboue the Law yet euery King and kingdome vpon earth is subiect to thee the King of Kings and thy soueraignety I must render thee an account of my demeanour which I tremble and quake to thinke of Moreouer although I haue not onely sinned against thee in Heauen but scandalized men on earth also yet it vexeth mee beyond all comparison that I haue wittingly and presumptuously offended thee Although all the world should 〈◊〉 emee yet it is too too much to me to finde and feele thee my Iudge that mine own conscience doth summon mee before thy Tribunall and frame my proces against me before thy Iudgement seate In this case no flattery of my seruants who according to the fashion of Court doe sooth and claw their Masters can lessen my paine asswage mine anguish or pacifie my conscience Say what they will or can I must say still Against thee against thee only I haue offended Furthermore none but thou that art iust and without sinne hast of right the cognizance of sinne and coertion of offenders Sinners are not competent Iudges of sinners Men doe murmur and grudge to giue account of their sinfull actions to sinfull men who are tainted with the same or greater vices but
the nocent cannot but yeeld and submit to such as in the same and in all other kindes are innocent and faultlesse Wherefore against thee onely haue I offended who only maiest aske confidently Who can reprooue me of sinne Now albeit thou know O Lord my sinnes not only before I confesse but before I commit them too yet I sinde that thou art well pleased to take knowledge of them by my acknowledgement and that thy Saints haue euer held it a poynt of honest policy to make thee propitious by confessing whom they could not find ignorant by denying or concealing their faults Finally though the hurt redound to many men 〈◊〉 the sinne is committed a gainst thee onely because thou art supreme Lord and soueraigne King the transgression of whose iust Lawe giueth being and birth to all sinne In which regard I may truly say that against thee thee only I haue sinned I haue done this euill in thy sight Since I professe to know mine owne wickednesse I will yet confesse it more freely because the more vile I am in mine own the more acceptable I shall bee in thine eyes By doing this euill by falling into this enormous sinne I haue fallen into a kinde of Atheisme at the very name whereof I tremble for although I haue not blasphemously and shamelesly spokē with my mouth yet haue I impiously and sinfully said in my heart There is no God or which is tantamount all one in effect God hides his face and will neuer see Which when I call to remembrance mee thinks I heare Nathan the Prophet againe fearefully thundering and directly charging me Thou art the man that thinkest There is no God For to deny expressely or tacitly thy science and wisdome who art all eye and wisdome it selfe is to deny thy very essence and being Whereupon my soule euen melteth within me and resolueth it selfe into teares to thinke that I could bee so impudently bold and insolently carelesse as in thy sight and presence thogh none else beheld to commit such foule and vgly offences Hee is held a desperate Malefactor that commits an outrage in presence of the Magistrate and before the Iudge his owne face Such in true iudgement is my case and this consideration alone if there were nothing else ought to be instead of a bridle to restraine and in stead of a bogle to terrifie me from all sinfull and wicked actions I was loth that man should see me and yet not afraid that thou shouldest behold mee whilest I did those foule and odious facts which in my better iudgement I finde to bee so grosse an absurdity as I am exceedingly both agreeued and ashamed that I forbare not to doe that when thou lookedst on with thy pure eyes which I should haue bin abashed to haue done if the meanest seruant in my house or the basest groome in my stable had been by A franke and sincere confession such as this is a full and direct conuiction in it selfe and of it selfe in courts held vpon earth and before men in foro fori as the Lawyers speake Wherupon the Iudge hath no other part to act but to pronounce sentence of cōdemnation But in foro Poli in thy court of Heauē the course of proceeding is far otherwise the best way there is to confesse before accusation or when thou art impleaded by and by to pleade guilty for a free confession moues thy gracious compassion and that without any more adoe grants forthwith a full and finall absolution This confession of mine doth imply of congruitie or rather of necessitie a profession and a kinde of obligation of forsaking such sins in time to come as I confesse my selfe to haue heretofore committed Else is my confession idle and counterfeit such as may deceiue mee that make it but not mocke Thee to whom it is made The heathen man by the dusky light of nature deriued from the nature of thy supernaturall light can say If I were assured that neither men should know nor gods would punish what I did yet would I disdaine to commit an act in it own nature foule and filthy How much more ought a faithfull man who besides the obscure glimpse of nature hath the pure light of thy Spirit and the bright lampe of thy Word shining vnto him to bee carefull and wary that he doe not wittingly and willingly or rather wilfully offend in the sight of thee the omnipotent and omniscient God who dost not only threaten the losse of thy fauour but the execution of thine eternall vengeance for the breach of thy commandements That thou maist be iustified in thy sayings and pure when thou art iudged And thus I make this franke acknowledgement of my foule faults as to ease mine oppressed soule so to vindicate thine honour from all vniust aspersions For as the scandall lies vpon the Iudge when punishment is inflicted vpon an innocent person so the ingenuous and voluntary confession of the partie touching his owne guilt preuents and excludes all imputation that may bee cast vpon the Iudge or iudgement My desire is as it is my dutie to take my sinnes wholly to my selfe and vpon my selfe I will yeeld the glory to thee to whom it is due I will reserue the shame to my selfe to whom it appertaineth I know O Lord that thy iudgements are right that thou hast afflicted me iustly I cannot impute any thing to thee O most iust God whose will is perfect iustice that thou hast either prouoked me to this enormous euill or consented to the committing of it for euen thy permission of this was a iust punishment for my other sinnes Mine owne fraile and peruerse nature my inbred corruption cast in the seed mine owne will or wilfulnesse rather cherished and nourished it mine own consent and delight fashioned it in the wombe of my sinful soule and at last brought it to light as one of Satans bastards to my iust confusion But thou O Lord art euer and euery way iust and so to be esteemed Thou hast dealt iustly in all that is come vpon me it is I that haue done wickedly I cannot say that thy seueritie or rigour is ouermuch against mee I haue deserued more then is laid vpon me He that is aware of his owne ill desert and weigheth it in an indifferent ballance doth rather thankefully wonder at thy indulgent mercie then vnpatiently repine at thy rigorous seuerity O Lord thou art iust when thou speakest pure when thou iudgest True it is that the wicked cease not to grunt and barke against thee though they cannot bite thee There is an ouer-great boldnesse and naughtinesse in men that they desire nothing more then to lift vp themselues and cast out ill words against thee at all aduentures The creatures passe their bounds so farre that thou the Creator must needs be blasphemed and reproched and thy creatures O indignity must become thy Iudges But yet for all this thou art and euer
bee without this heate he that hath that Sun cannot be without this light When my great and enormous sinnes had plunged me into the sea of misery finding no other meane of helpe in that fearefull danger I catched vp and tooke hold of the planke or boordof Repentance to saue me from drowning Repentance hath two faces and so looketh two wayes backward and forward to sinnes past and holinesse to come I haue grieuously lamented my offences formerly done and importunately begged pardon for them accounting this remission because thou art pleased O God so to esteeme it my iustification I now earnestly craue a cleane heart and a new spirit that being clensed I may keep my selfe cleane that being renewed I may entertaine newnesse of life for my sanctification For if I fall againe vpon the same rock of presumption which caused my shipwracke before it will plainely appeare that I haue not really acted but formally counterfeited repentance in which case I must pronounce an heauie doome against my selfe for dissembled holinesse is double wickednesse wickednesse masking vnder the sinfull vayle and vizard of hypocrisie Repentance neuer attaines her Crowne and Garland till shee haue brought forth amendment of life after lamentation for sin to make some kind of reparation That which thou requirest of me O God is my heart and how can I deny thee one thing that hast giuen me all things for what haue I that I haue not receiued of thee Well then I resolue as it is meet to giue thee my heart But when I looke into my heart by the helpe of thy suruey for it is thou that declarest vnto man what and how ill his heart is I finde it so foule and full of corruption as I am ashamed to present it vnto thee in that plight Nay I tremble to thinke that thy Pure and Radiant Eyes should behold such a puddle and sincke of sinne as lurketh in my heart For alas euery imagination of the thoughts of my heart is onely euill continually Were my heart such as it should be I would cheerefully giue thee my heart O Lord therefore create in mee a cleane heart Thou madest my heart first in Adam hee marred it and I in him by disobedience from him to all his posterity the contagion of this pollution is spred and propagated wherefore create my heart againe create it a cleane heart either a cleane heart or no heart at all I affect purity of heart by thy grace for indeed I cannot so much as affect much lesse effect it without thee Vnlesse thou take the worke in hand it will be vndone My heart that is originally and totally vncleane by naturall generation and daily soiled by actuall transgression cannot become cleane and neate without spirituall washing and supernaturall regeneration and that is thy proper operation Seeke not to new make mould my defiled hart out of the forebeing matter thereof That may seeme a strange enterprize and fruitlesse worke But thou O God who by thy power madest the world of nothing by thy powerfull grace Create which is thy peculiar attribute a cleane heart within me To create is not to make a thing out of the power of any subiect or matter formerly being But to create is to make a thing of nothing and that is an act of diuine power that is a case excepted and a prerogatiue reserued to thee alone The production of grace in a gracelesse heart is a wonderfull and gracious creation Create in mee powerfully and of nothing without any 〈◊〉 matter create in me 〈◊〉 and for nothing without any precedent merit of mine a pure heart so 〈◊〉 thou crowne in mee not my deserts but thine 〈◊〉 gifts if ought proceed from my heart to my tongue or hand not displeasing vnto thee Worke this worke thy selfe and take the praise of it to thy selfe alone O God Not vnto mee not vnto me I doe iterate and ingeminate my disclaymer but vnto thy Name giue all the glory It is another manner of power to make the quality then the substance of the heart yea it is a harder taske to make a heart cleane that hath beene soiled with the filth and tainted with the putrifaction of sin then to make a pure and innocent heart at the first The more shall be my thankfulnesse if thou O Lord vouchsafe me so great a fauour I will not curiously enquire into the meanes or manner of atchieuing this worke Let me henceforth really finde by the imaginations and inclinations of it that it is a cleane heart conformed as it may be in the frailty of 〈◊〉 flesh 〈◊〉 thy holy 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 all is well As a woman 〈◊〉 by the stirring of the 〈◊〉 in her wombe that 〈◊〉 hath conceiued so 〈◊〉 me feele by the effectuall motions of thy good 〈◊〉 that I am begotten anew vnto a liuely 〈◊〉 by the resurrection of Christ according to his abundant mercy The summe of all is Giue me O Lord what thou enioynest and then enioyne mee what thou pleasest I am of no ability to do what thou commandest and therefore am enforced to beseech thee thy selfe to do in me what thou requirest to bee done of me Create a cleane heart in me If my heart as the spring and conduit head be pure and cleane the waters that flow thence though conueighed in earthen pipes will be cleare still my secret thoughts my open words my visible workes though they sauour somewhat of earth and flesh will not be altogether vncleane and vnsauoury A man must bee twice borne ere he can enter into the kingdome of heauen As he is made to the similitude of the first Adam so must he be made to the similitude of the second Adam and the regeneration is a more excellent worke then the generation the re-creation then the creation In the first man was wrought out of clay in the other God workes grace out of sinne In the former he breathed a soule into the dead body here he breatheth his holy Spirit into a dead heart In the creation he made man perfect in all his members In this re-creation not only all the members of the body but the faculties of the soule also must be framed anew It is a greater matter to raise a man dead in sinne then to raise a rotten carkasse out of the graue In the one birth and the other the heart is the first 〈◊〉 that is enlyued my 〈◊〉 must first take fire 〈◊〉 can I neuer bee 〈◊〉 with the true zeale of 〈◊〉 glory and mine owne saluation In the first creation this 〈◊〉 Chaos and darke 〈◊〉 was couered by thy 〈◊〉 without any contradiction or resistance Thou spakest but the word and all was readily done and perfectly framed But in my re-creation my flesh or my spirit or my fleshly spirit doth oppose and incounter thy holy Spirit grieueth and maketh it sad laboureth to quench it euen then when it striueth to reuiue repaire and reforme me This is notoriously verified