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and_o as_o that_o prince_n who_o plain_a in_o personage_n and_o habit_n be_v by_o mistake_v set_v to_o drudge_n for_o his_o own_o entertainment_n and_o be_v discover_v and_o demand_v what_o he_o mean_v answer_v that_o he_o do_v penance_n for_o his_o evil-favourednesse_a so_o be_o i_o content_v to_o undergo_v and_o submit_v myself_o to_o the_o not_o undeserved_a penance_n of_o my_o fate_n with_o a_o acquiescence_n of_o fiat_n voluntas_fw-la tua_fw-la sed_fw-la libre_fw-la a_o nos_fw-la a_o malo_fw-la january_n 2._o 1637._o nemo_fw-la laeditur_fw-la nisi_fw-la a_o seipso_fw-la never_o prove_v itself_o more_o true_a then_o in_o i_o i_o have_v be_v both_o agent_n and_o author_n of_o my_o misery_n and_o suffering_n i_o have_v be_v both_o criminal_a and_o tormenter_n god_n make_v i_o strong_a i_o have_v make_v myself_o weak_a god_n entrust_v i_o with_o many_o talent_n of_o advantage_n above_o other_o i_o have_v misemployed_n and_o abuse_v they_o and_o myself_o from_o my_o youth_n i_o have_v 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can_v attain_v my_o tongue_n and_o action_n shall_v by_o thy_o grace_n endeavour_v to_o supply_v january_n 14._o 1637._o charity_n imply_v the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o man_n without_o it_o whatsoever_o we_o pretend_v we_o be_v infidel_n object_n of_o hatred_n to_o our_o maker_n to_o our_o inferior_n what_o condition_n can_v be_v more_o contemptible_a no_o delight_n be_v comparable_a to_o that_o which_o reflect_v upon_o a_o good_a mind_n from_o its_o own_o goodness_n extend_v upon_o other_o especial_o when_o our_o conscience_n bear_v we_o witness_v that_o we_o do_v it_o out_o of_o a_o true_a love_n and_o obedience_n to_o our_o most_o merciful_a and_o omnipotent_a god_n to_o pretend_v faith_n and_o be_v without_o charity_n be_v to_o mock_v god_n and_o ourselves_o better_o be_v it_o for_o we_o to_o be_v like_o beast_n without_o all_o knowledge_n of_o god_n then_o to_o play_v
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a_o fool_n or_o physician_n without_o thou_o we_o be_v stranger_n to_o the_o world_n we_o be_v stranger_n to_o ourselves_o the_o best_a husbandman_n understand_v not_o to_o manage_v his_o ground_n nor_o we_o ourselves_o but_o from_o thou_o thou_o under_o god_n be_v the_o giver_n and_o preserver_n of_o health_n and_o riches_n rule_n of_o health_n and_o thrift_n be_v little_o acknowledge_v but_o upon_o infirmity_n and_o sufferance_n nature_n make_v we_o passionate_a but_o thou_o compassionate_a a_o man_n that_o know_v the_o bear_n of_o his_o beast_n will_v not_o overload_v he_o have_v i_o enjoy_v thou_o i_o have_v enjoy_v myself_o i_o have_v make_v thou_o and_o nature_n my_o physician_n they_o pretend_v to_o be_v her_o prop_n and_o helper_n but_o they_o rather_o confound_v and_o ruin_v she_o they_o be_v her_o ape_n her_o zany_n deform_v and_o mischievous_a inexperience_n impatience_n laziness_n opinion_n and_o custom_n maintain_v their_o credit_n and_o make_v we_o their_o patient_n the_o 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strange_a be_v the_o difference_n of_o the_o temperament_n of_o several_a man_n body_n and_o mind_n but_o more_o strange_a the_o difference_n of_o the_o same_o man_n from_o himself_o at_o one_o and_o another_o time_n now_o all_o dull_a and_o heavy_a than_o all_o rapid_a active_a and_o airy_a now_o quick_a and_o sharp_a then_o slow_a and_o blunt_a of_o understanding_n now_o apprehensive_a and_o timorous_a than_o all_o dare_a and_o fearless_a i_o uâ—â—â—ly_o believe_v there_o may_v be_v or_o be_v spirit_n and_o temper_n so_o fiery_a and_o bold_a as_o to_o be_v incapable_a of_o fear_n howsoever_o it_o may_v be_v conceive_v a_o passion_n as_o necessary_a as_o natural_a to_o selfe-preservation_n the_o unconsider_v and_o undaunted_a fierceness_n of_o some_o creature_n witness_v as_o much_o thus_o for_o want_v of_o other_o entertainment_n i_o be_o put_v to_o ransack_v nature_n art_n and_o myself_o and_o like_o dâ—ogenes_n busy_a myself_o in_o my_o particular_a and_o with_o my_o tub_n i_o write_v wild_o i_o write_v the_o wild-goose_n chase_n if_o you_o like_v it_o not_o let_v it_o alone_o yet_o do_v you_o not_o contemn_v the_o star_n of_o heaven_n or_o plant_n and_o face_n of_o the_o earth_n for_o their_o seem_a â—â—methodicall_a confusion_n to_o say_v something_o of_o experience_n which_o have_v thrust_v i_o on_o this_o piece_n here_o you_o have_v that_o at_o a_o easy_a rate_n which_o grow_v not_o on_o every_o ground_n variety_n use_v to_o please_v let_v it_o not_o displease_v you_o if_o it_o profit_v not_o and_o the_o mischief_n be_v that_o i_o fear_v it_o will_v little_o profit_v you_o if_o you_o much_o need_v it_o if_o you_o be_v not_o already_o in_o some_o measure_n proportionable_a to_o what_o i_o write_v it_o will_v but_o pass_v by_o you_o like_o cloud_n shadow_n and_o dream_n of_o little_a impression_n and_o less_o improvement_n what_o a_o number_n of_o notion_n there_o be_v in_o the_o world_n of_o reality_n to_o some_o nullity_n to_o other_o such_o as_o witch_n apparitions_z prodigious_a advertisement_n divine_a admonition_n instant_a and_o sudden_a relieving_n and_o assistance_n etc._n etc._n many_o carry_v their_o faith_n no_o far_o than_o their_o sense_n and_o experience_n some_o be_v so_o irreligious_o preresolved_a to_o decline_v superstition_n that_o god_n shall_v be_v the_o last_o to_o who_o they_o will_v attribute_v any_o supereminent_a production_n they_o will_v rather_o stand_v confound_v and_o lose_v then_o abandon_v second_o cause_n or_o acknowledge_v any_o supernatural_a effect_n yet_o extraordinary_a truth_n howsoever_o slight_v want_v not_o extraordinary_a testimony_n and_o god_n in_o all_o time_n leave_v not_o himself_o without_o witness_n there_o will_v else_o be_v if_o manifestation_n shall_v be_v equal_a to_o every_o man_n sense_n no_o place_n to_o exercise_v faith_n and_o little_a extent_n to_o knowledge_n if_o we_o be_v restrain_v to_o our_o particular_a experiment_n though_o upon_o the_o difference_n of_o material_n the_o print_n take_v not_o in_o all_o alike_o we_o be_v cast_v as_o it_o be_v in_o one_o mould_n what_o concern_v you_o not_o to_o day_n may_v to_o morrow_n whatsoever_o be_v write_v of_o man_n de_fw-fr te_fw-la narratur_fw-la fabula_fw-la endeavour_n and_o be_v favourable_a august_n the_o 14._o 1638._o unhappiness_n of_o physic_n since_o i_o write_v the_o precede_a piece_n it_o have_v fall_v out_o to_o my_o extreme_a sorrow_n and_o affliction_n that_o one_o of_o the_o fair_a most_o noble_a and_o virtuous_a of_o lady_n be_v dead_a in_o my_o unhappy_a house_n under_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o physician_n she_o be_v such_o that_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o one_o none_o of_o the_o best_a of_o our_o prince_n that_o if_o vice_n have_v be_v lose_v in_o the_o world_n they_o may_v have_v be_v recover_v and_o find_v in_o he_o much_o more_o true_o may_v it_o be_v affirm_v of_o she_o for_o all_o such_o virtue_n as_o either_o ever_o be_v or_o can_v be_v
jerusalem_n amen_n february_n 10._o 1637._o to_o give_v in_o some_o sort_n a_o taste_n and_o glimpse_n what_o kind_n of_o spirit_n possess_v i_o in_o my_o first_o youth_n and_o melancholy_n take_v these_o few_o fragment_n which_o with_o many_o other_o than_o i_o coin_a but_o have_v now_o lose_v and_o forget_v for_o inscription_n never_o employ_v fond_a passion_n be_v opinion_n but_o a_o fool_n god_n nature_n reason_n be_v the_o wiseman_n school_n delight_n good_a servant_n but_o bad_a master_n be_v mind_n cordial_a medicine_n use_v without_o fond_a passion_n fit_v age_n call_v mean_n degree_n and_o fashion_n useless_a but_o for_o our_o recreation_n dote_v on_o turn_v disease_n our_o soul_n snare_n you_o will_v say_v they_o be_v toy_n the_o fit_a be_v they_o then_o for_o such_o vain_a bubble_n fantome_n as_o be_v man_n they_o profit_v nought_o and_o wiseman_n you_o will_v say_v pleasure_n foundation_n on_o profit_n lie_v to_o they_o that_o want_v not_o to_o give_v nature_n right_a profit_n itself_o in_o truth_n be_v but_o delight_n it_o be_v not_o affectation_n make_v i_o write_v but_o honest_a heart_n ever_o affect_v the_o light_n thus_o do_v melancholy_a and_o retiredness_n work_v upon_o i_o my_o melancholy_n wrought_v my_o retiredness_n and_o that_o by_o remove_v i_o from_o the_o common_a delight_n and_o course_n of_o young_a man_n my_o far_a melancholy_a removens_fw-la prohibens_fw-la go_v for_o a_o cause_n i_o affect_v the_o tree_n of_o knowledge_n taste_v of_o the_o unnatural_a fruit_n and_o lose_v my_o earthly_a paradise_n though_o labour_n toil_n and_o affliction_n have_v be_v my_o portion_n in_o such_o loss_n yet_o christ_n have_v prove_v unto_o i_o infinite_a advantage_n he_o be_v the_o christian_n eternal_a paradise_n in_o he_o we_o find_v a_o new_a earth_n new_a heaven_n peace_n and_o joy_n incomparable_o more_o complete_a without_o he_o all_o be_v vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n happy_a the_o fall_n which_o meet_v with_o he_o to_o raise_v we_o happy_a the_o loss_n which_o find_v he_o to_o guide_v we_o since_o the_o first_o fall_v man_n discern_v his_o nakedness_n of_o himself_o have_v seek_v figge-leaves_a for_o cover_v and_o advantage_n a_o partial_a clothing_n in_o humane_a policy_n art_n and_o invention_n which_o all_o but_o make_v we_o feel_v the_o more_o the_o weather_n and_o our_o want_n nature_n be_v lose_v in_o artificial_a affectation_n and_o our_o false-acquired_n knowledge_n prove_v our_o true_a and_o real_a misery_n thus_o plunge_v in_o vain_a deceive_a delight_n and_o wretched_a perplexity_n no_o exemption_n no_o redemption_n remain_v but_o in_o and_o through_o christ_n and_o the_o true_a knowledge_n of_o he_o by_o he_o we_o turn_v our_o first_o nakedness_n and_o rag_n into_o a_o full_a and_o glorious_a garment_n by_o he_o our_o darkness_n and_o confusion_n become_v a_o perfect_a illumination_n and_o in_o he_o our_o vain_a pleasure_n and_o frail_a trouble_n become_v a_o solid_a continual_a feast_n of_o joy_n peace_n and_o contentment_n that_o sun_n of_o righteousness_n be_v the_o only_a true_a sun_n that_o light_v every_o man_n to_o true_a happiness_n the_o sun_n be_v the_o life_n of_o flower_n and_o many_o of_o they_o open_v themselves_o and_o turn_v towards_o it_o let_v we_o learn_v from_o they_o to_o open_v our_o heart_n and_o turn_v to_o god_n he_o alone_o can_v disperse_v in_o we_o the_o cloud_n of_o ignorance_n and_o light_a vanity_n in_o he_o alone_o be_v that_o tranquillity_n and_o true_a joy_n to_o be_v find_v which_o by_o our_o disobedience_n and_o foolish_a affectation_n we_o have_v lose_v all_o our_o other_o curiosity_n all_o our_o sensuality_n do_v but_o more_o wild_a we_o and_o set_v we_o further_a to_o seek_v the_o wise_a sort_n of_o man_n in_o a_o humane_a way_n have_v seek_v for_o immortality_n to_o piece_n out_o their_o frailty_n but_o in_o christ_n alone_o it_o be_v to_o be_v find_v and_o without_o he_o it_o be_v better_a to_o want_v it_o poor_a creature_n that_o we_o be_v poor_a happiness_n that_o we_o seek_v without_o he_o who_o say_v seek_v and_o you_o shall_v find_v but_o do_v not_o such_o appear_v to_o doubt_v too_o much_o of_o the_o soul_n immortality_n who_o will_v rather_o deny_v it_o to_o become_v infect_v with_o original_a sin_n by_o way_n of_o propagation_n in_o a_o probable_a analogy_n to_o faith_n and_o god_n justice_n then_o acknowledge_v a_o natural_a way_n of_o one_o eternal_a soul_n to_o beget_v another_o eternity_n be_v the_o only_a gift_n of_o god_n and_o as_o easy_o and_o more_o reasonable_o flow_v from_o he_o the_o one_o way_n then_o the_o other_o be_v not_o this_o leave_v a_o fair_a natural_a rational_a and_o religious_a way_n a_o kind_n of_o teach_v to_o doubt_n and_o misbelief_n why_o stick_v they_o at_o that_o which_o be_v most_o reasonable_a teach_v nevertheless_o faith_n beyond_o reason_n such_o as_o deny_v the_o earth_n to_o move_v and_o turn_v towards_o the_o sun_n for_o its_o own_o advantage_n upon_o pretence_n of_o text_n of_o scripture_n for_o the_o earth_n stability_n which_o as_o a_o thousand_o other_o they_o may_v as_o well_o and_o with_o far_o less_o strain_v interpret_v in_o a_o way_n of_o common_a caviar_n appear_v if_o now_o upon_o real_a demonstration_n and_o reason_n the_o earth_n be_v prove_v to_o move_v do_v they_o not_o wrong_v both_o the_o scripture_n and_o our_o religion_n miserable_a lameness_n miserable_a blindness_n of_o humane_a divinity_n help_v oh_o god_n or_o we_o be_v confound_v we_o be_v lose_v true_a knowledge_n thrift_n or_o joy_n be_v annex_v to_o no_o person_n place_n or_o condition_n but_o thy_o grace_n and_o blessing_n give_v they_o assist_v we_o all_o assist_v i_o therein_o and_o i_o have_v find_v more_o than_o ever_o i_o lose_v february_n 10._o 1637._o howsoever_o these_o write_n may_v in_o some_o respect_n be_v as_o unfit_a as_o troublesome_a in_o my_o condition_n yet_o herein_o they_o have_v prove_v my_o great_a advantage_n and_o satisfaction_n that_o they_o have_v take_v i_o off_o from_o other_o importunate_a discontent_n and_o impression_n and_o have_v tie_v i_o fast_o and_o fast_o to_o god_n they_o have_v turn_v the_o sight_n and_o sense_n of_o my_o misery_n into_o joy_n and_o comfort_n upon_o the_o discern_a and_o participation_n of_o his_o mercy_n unto_o i_o they_o have_v enter_v and_o entertain_v i_o in_o to_o sweet_a a_o contemplation_n of_o his_o glory_n and_o goodness_n as_o i_o hope_v shall_v never_o languish_v and_o die_v in_o i_o and_o i_o have_v i_o thank_v god_n gather_v such_o strength_n upon_o they_o that_o i_o conceive_v much_o better_a of_o myself_o and_o the_o vigour_n of_o my_o spirit_n to_o the_o discharge_n of_o any_o ordinary_a performance_n this_o my_o good_a god_n have_v do_v for_o i_o and_o it_o be_v wonderful_a even_o in_o my_o own_o eye_n may_v it_o please_v he_o to_o endue_v i_o with_o all_o humble_a thankfulness_n amen_o amen_n february_n 12._o 1637._o my_o good_a friend_n you_o have_v oblige_v i_o in_o the_o read_n and_o peruse_v of_o these_o my_o confuse_a crudity_n and_o you_o have_v in_o your_o indulgence_n to_o they_o and_o i_o and_o their_o innocent_a spirit_n of_o ingenuity_n commend_v some_o thing_n in_o they_o far_o beyond_o their_o worth_n and_o wish_v some_o more_o labour_n of_o i_o to_o be_v employ_v in_o their_o more_o orderly_a and_o perfect_a digestion_n and_o a_o far_a communication_n but_o i_o be_o over-weak_a and_o lazy_a and_o they_o too_o incorrigible_a they_o be_v mishapen_a lump_n of_o a_o imperfect_a conception_n which_o howsoever_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a for_o i_o to_o be_v deliver_v of_o yet_o be_v they_o most_o unfit_a for_o other_o than_o a_o friendly_a view_n and_o judgement_n i_o put_v they_o into_o your_o hand_n but_o be_o far_o from_o wish_v any_o your_o far_a patience_n or_o labour_n upon_o they_o they_o be_v such_o bear_n whelp_n that_o if_o they_o be_v capable_a of_o any_o good_a shape_n yet_o be_v it_o most_o unfit_a that_o any_o but_o their_o natural_a 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as_o woman_n be_v in_o respect_n of_o their_o attire_n often_o the_o least_o part_n of_o themselves_o the_o like_a may_v be_v say_v of_o man_n in_o the_o disguise_n of_o the_o mind_n so_o it_o be_v and_o such_o punishment_n be_v deserve_v in_o our_o desertion_n and_o rebellion_n against_o god_n and_o nature_n we_o be_v one_o another_o scourge_n we_o be_v scourge_n to_o ourselves_o if_o you_o and_o i_o and_o other_o be_v rather_o sheep_n than_o wolf_n let_v we_o thank_v god_n who_o grace_n it_o be_v let_v we_o clothe_v ourselves_o in_o our_o own_o wool_n short_a pasture_n will_v content_v we_o for_o food_n little_a drink_n more_o than_o the_o dew_n of_o heaven_n thither_o let_v we_o tend_v towards_o he_o who_o mark_n we_o bear_v the_o great_a shepherd_n of_o our_o soul_n let_v wolf_n be_v wolf_n while_o he_o be_v our_o shepherd_n and_o his_o good_a angel_n our_o guard_n we_o be_v safe_a and_o happy_a now_o and_o forever_o let_v the_o wolf_n of_o this_o world_n the_o loup-garrons_a the_o 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