more of a man then of a flower that lasts some days he lasts some years at their period both fade Now what difference is there to be made betwixt days and years in the thoughts of an eternal duration Herein therefore I have a great advantage of a carnal heart such a one bounding his narrow conceits with the present condition is ready to admire himself and others for what they have or are and is therefore dejected upon every miscarriage whereas I behold my self or that man in all his glory as vanishing onely measuring every mans felicity by the hopes and interress which he hath in a blessed eternity V. When I am dead and forgotten the world will be as it is the same successions and varieties of seasons the same revolutions of Heaven the same changes of Earth and Sea the like occurrents of natural events and humane affairs It is not in my power to alter the course of things or to prevent what must be What should I do but quietly take my part of the present and humbly leave the care of the future to that all-wise providence which ordereth all things even the most cross events according to his most holy and just purposes VI. The Scripture is the Sun the Church is the Clock whose hand points us to and whose sound tells us the hours of the day the Sun we know to be sure and regularly constant in his motion the Clock as it may fall out may go too fast or too slow we are wont to look at and listen to the Clock to know the time of the day but where we finde the variation sensible to beleeve the Sun against the Clock not the Clock against the Sun As then we would condemn him of much folly that should profess to trust the Clock rather then the Sun so we cannot but justly tax the miscredulity of those who will rather trust to the Church then to the Scripture VII What marvailous high respects hath God given to man above all his other visible Creatures what an house hath he put him into how gloriously arched how richly pavemented Wherefore serves all the furniture of Heaven and Earth but for his use What delicate provision hath that bountiful hand made for his palate both of meats and liquors by Land and Sea What rich ornaments hath he laid up for him in his wardrobe of earth and waters and wherefore serves the various musick of Birds but to please his ear For as for the brute Creatures all harmony to them is but as silence Wherefore serves the excellent variety of Flowers surpassing Solomon in all his glory but to please his eie meer grass is more acceptable to Beasts Yea what Creature but he is capable to survey Gods wonders in the deep to contemplate the great fabrick of the Heavens to observe the glorious bodies and regular motions of the Sun Moon Stars and which exceeds all conceiveable mercies who but he is capable of that celestial Glory which is within that beautiful contignation to be a companion of the blessed Angels yea to be a limb of the mystical Body of the eternal Son of God and to partake with him of his everlasting and incomprehensible glory Lord what is man that thou art thus mindful of him and how utterly unworthy are we even of common mercies if we return not to our God more advantage of glory then those poor creatures that were made for us and which cannot in nature be sensible of his favors VIII How plain is it that all sensitive things are ordered by an instinct from their Maker He that gives them being puts into them their several dispositions inclinations faculties operations If we look to Birds the Mavis the Black-bird the Red-brest have throats tuneable to any note as we daily see they may be taught strains utterly varying from their natural tones yet they all naturally have the same songs and accents different from each other and fully according to their own kinde so as every Mavis hath the same ditty with his fellows If we mark the building of their nests each kinde observes its own fashion and materials some clay others moss hair sticks yea if their very motions and restings they are conform to their own feather different from others If to Beasts they all untaught observe the fashions of their several kindes Galen observes that when he was dissecting a She-goat big with young a Kid then ready to be yeaned starts out and walks up and down the room and there being in the same place set several vessels of oyl hony water milk the new faln Kid smells at them all and refusing the rest falls to lapping of the milk whereupon he justly infers that nature stays not for a Teacher Neither is it other in Flies and all sorts of the meanest vermine all Bees build alike and order the Common-wealth of their hive in one maner all Ants keep their own way in their housing journeys provisions all Spiders do as perfectly and uniformly weave their web as if they had been Apprentises to the trade the same instincts are seen also in the rational Creatures although in most cases overruled by their higher faculties What an infinite providence then is this we live under that hath distributed to every creature as a several form so several inclinations qualities motions proper to to their own kinde and different from other and keeps them in this constant uniformity and variety for the delight and contentment of man O God that I could be capable of enough wondring at thy great works that I could be enough humbled under the sense of my own incapacity that I could give thee so much more glory as I finde more vileness in my self IX When I saw my precious watch now through an unhappy fall grown irregular taken asunder and lying scattered upon the workmans shop-board so as here lay a wheel there the balance here one gimmer there another straight my ignorance was ready to think when and how will all these ever peece together again in their former order But when the skilful Artisan had taken it a while in hand and curiously pined the joynts it now began to return to its wonted shape and constant motion as if it had never been disordered How could I chuse but see in this the just embleme of a distempered Church and State wherein if all seem disjoynted and every wheel laid aside by it self so as an unknowing beholder would dispair of a redress yet if it shall please the great Artist of Heaven to put his hand unto it how soon might it return to an happy resetlement Even so blessed Lord for thy great mercies sake make up the breaches of thy Sion repair the ruines of thy Jerusalem X We are and we are not all one mans children Our bodies once met in one root but our mindes and dispositions do so differ as if we had never been of kin one man is so gentle and plausible that he would fain please
the matter our souls may fly thitherward with them If we do good and be rich in good works ready to distribute willing to communicate laying up in store for our selves a good foundation against the time to come that we may lay hold on eternal life Let me say with Agur Give me neither poverty nor riches but whethersoever God gives I am both thankful and indifferent so as whiles I am rich in estate I may be poor in spirit and whiles I am poor in estate I may be rich in grace XCI Had I been in the streets of Jericho sure me thinks I should have justled with Zacheus for the Sycomore to see Jesus and should have blessed my eyes for so happy a prospect and yet I consider that many a one saw his face on earth which shall never see his glory in Heaven and I hear the Apostle say Though we have known Christ after the flesh yet now henceforth know we him so no more O for the eyes of a Stephen that saw the Heavens opened and the glory of God and Jesus standing on the right hand of God! That prospect did as much transcend this of Zacheus as Heaven is above Earth celestial glory above humane infirmity And why should not the eyes of my faith behold the same object which was seen by Stephens bodily eyes I see thee O Saviour I see thee as certainly though not so clearly Do thou sharpen and fortifie these weak eyes of mine that in thy light I may see light XCII How gracious a word was that which God said to Israel I have called thee by thy name and thou art mine He that imposed that name upon Jacob makes familiar use of it to his posterity Neither is the case singular but universally common to all his spiritual issue There is not one of them whom he doth not both call by his name and challenge for his own He that tells the number of the stars and calls them all by their names hath also a name for every of these earthly luminaries He who brought all other living creatures unto man to see how he would call them and would make use of Adams appellation reserved the naming of man to himself neither is there any one of his innumerous posterity whom he knowes not by name But it is one thing to take notice of their names another thing to call them by their names that denotes his omniscience this his specialty of favor none are thus graced but the true Sons of Israel As Gods children do not content themselves with a confused knowledg of a Deity but rest not till they have attained a distinct apprehension of their God as he hath revealed himself to man so doth God again to them It is not enough that he knows them in a general view as in the throng wherein we see many faces none distinctly but he singles them out in a familiar kinde of severalty both of knowledg and respect As then he hath names for the several Stars of Heaven Cimah Cesil Mazzaroth c. And for the several Angels Gabriel Raphael Michael c. and calls them by the proper names which he hath given them so he doth to every of his faithful ones Of one he saith Thou shalt call his name John Of another Thou art Simon thou shalt be called Cephas To one he says Zacheus come down to another Cornelius thy prayers and thine alms are come up In short there is no one of his whom he doth not both know and call by his name What a comfort is this to a poor wretched man to think Here I walk obscure and contemptible upon earth in a condition mean and despised of men but the great God of Heaven is pleased to take such notice of me as even from Heaven to call me by my name and to single me out for Grace and Salvation and not onely to mention my name from above in the gracious offer of his Ordinances but to write it in the eternal Register of Heaven What care I to be inglorious yea causelesly infamous with men whiles I am thus honored by the King of glory XCIII It is the great wisdom and providence of the Almighty so to order the dispositions and inclinations of men that they affect divers and different works and pleasures Some are for manuary trades others for intellectual imployments One is for the Land another for the Sea one for husbandry another for merchandise one is for Architecture another for Vestiary services one is for fishing another for pasturage and in the learned trades one is for the mistress of Sciences Divinity another for the Law whether Civil or Municipal a third is for the search of the secrets of Nature and the skill and practice of Physick and each one of these divides it self into many differing varieties Neither is it otherwise in matter of pleasures one places his delight in following his Hawk and Hound another in the harmony of Musick one makes his Garden his paradise and enjoys the flourishing of his fair Tulips another findes contentment in a choice Library one loves his Bowl or his Bowe another pleases himself in the patient pastime of his Angle For surely if all men affected one and the same trade of life or pleasure of recreation it were not possible that they could live one by another Neither could there be any use of commerce whereby mans life is maintained neither could it be avoyded but that the envy of the inevitable rivality would cut each others throat It is good reason we should make a right use of this gracious and provident dispensation of the Almighty and therefore that we should improve our several dispositions and faculties to the advancing of the common stock and withal that we should neither encroach upon each others profession nor be apt to censure each others recreation XCIV He were very quick-sighted that could perceive the growing of the grass or the moving of the shadow upon the Dial yet when those are done every eye doth easily discern them It is no otherwise in the progress of grace which how it increaseth in the soul and by what degrees we cannot hope to perceive but being grown we may see it It is the fault of many Christians that they depend too much upon sense and make that the judg of their spiritual estate being too much dejected when they do not sensibly feel the proofs of their proficiency and the present proceedings of their regeneration why do they not as well question the growth of their stature because they do not see every day how much they are thriven Surely it must needs be that spiritual things are less perceptible then bodily much more therefore must we in these wait upon time for necessary conviction and well may it suffice us if upon an impartial comparing of the present measure of our knowledg faith obedience with the former we can perceive our selves
flesh but for him God took him and cloathed him living with immortality I finde none but him and Elijah that were thus fetcht to their Heaven It will be happy for us if we may pass in the common road to blessedness O God give me to walk close and constantly with thee and what end thou pleasest let my body pass through all the degrees of corruption so that my soul may be immediately glorious FINIS THE BREATHINGS OF THE Devout Soul I. BLessed Lord God thou callest me to obedience and fain would I follow thee but what good can this wretched heart of mine be capable of except thou put it there thou know'st I cannot so much as wish to think well without thee I have strong powers to offend thee my sins are my own but whence should I have any inclination to good but from thee who art only and all good Lord work me to what thou requirest and then require what thou wilt II. Lord God whither need I go to seek thee Thou art so with me as that I cannot move but in thee I look up to heaven there I know thy Majestie most manifests it self but withall I know that being here thou art never out of thy heaven for it is thy presence onely that makes heaven Oh give me to enjoy thee in this lowest region of thine heavenly habitation and as in respect of my naturall being I live and move in thee so let me not live and move spiritually but with thee and to thee III. Whither now O whither do ye rove O my thoughts Can ye hope to finde rest in any of these sublunary contentments Alas how can they yeeld any stay to you that have no settlement in themselves Is there not enough in the infinite good to take you up but that ye will be wandring after earthly vanities Oh my Lord how justly mightest thou cast me off with scorn for casting any affective glances upon so base a rival Truly Lord I am ashamed of this my hatefull inconstancy but it is thou only that must remedy it O thou that art the father of mercies pity my wildnesse and weak distractions Take thou my heart to thee it is thine own keep it with thee tye it close to thee by the cords of love that it may not so much as cast down an eye upon this wretched and perishing world IIII. Lord I confesse to my shame thou art a great loser by me for besides my not improving of thy favors I have not kept even-reckonings with thee I have not justly tallied up thy inestimable benefits Thy very privative mercies are both without and beyond my account for every evill that I am free from is a new blessing from thee That I am out of bondage that I am out of pain and misery that I am out of the dominion of sin out of the tyranny of Satan out of the agonies of an afflicted soul out of the torments of hell Lord how unspeakeable mercies are these Yet when did I bless thee for any of them Thy positive bounties I can feel but with a benummed and imperfect sence Lord do thou enlarge and intenerate my heart make me truly sensible as of my good received so of my escaped evils and take thou to thy self the glory of them both V. Ah my Lord God what heats and colds do I feel in my soul Sometimes I finde my self so vigorous in grace that no thought of doubt dare shew it self and me thinks I durst challenge my hellish enemies another while I feel my self so dejected and heartlesse as if I had no interest in the God of my salvation nor never had received any certain pledges of his favour What shall I say to this various disposition Whether Lord is it my wretchednesse to suffer my self to be rob'd of thee for the time by temptation or whether is this the course of thy proceedings in the dispensation of thy graces to the sons of men that thou wilt have the breathings of thy Spirit as where so how and when thou pleasest Surely O my God if I did not know thee constant to thine everlasting mercies I should be utterly disheartened with these sad intervals now when my sense failes me I make use of my faith and am no lesse sure of thee even when I feel thee not then when I finde the clearest evidences of thy gracious presence Lord shine upon me with the light of thy countenance if it may be alwaies but when ever that is clouded strengthen thou my faith so shall I be safe even when I am comfortless VI. O my God I am justly ashamed to think what favors I have received from thee and what poor returns I have made to thee Truly Lord I must needs say thou hast thought nothing either in earth or in heaven too good for me and I on the other side have grudg'd thee that weak and worthless obedience which thou hast required of me Alas what pleasure could I have done to thee who art infinite if I had sacrificed my whole self to thee as thou commandest Thou art and wilt be thy self though the world were not it is I I only that could be a gainer by this happy match which in my own wrong I have unthankfully neglected I see it is not so much what we have as how we imploy it O thou that hast been so bountiful in heaping thy rich mercies upon me vouchsafe to grant me yet one gift more give me grace and power to improve all thy gifts to the glory of the giver otherwise it had been better for me to have been poor then ingrateful VII Ah Lord What strugling have I with my weak fears how do I anticipate my evils by distrust What shall I do when I am old How shall I be able to indure pain How shall I pass through the horrid gates of death Oh my God Where is my faith that I am thus surprized Had I not thee to up-hold and strengthen my soul well might I tremble and sink under these cares but now that I have the assurance of so strong an helper as commands all the powers of heaven earth and hell what a shame is it for me to give so much way to my wretched infidelity as to punish my self with the expectation of future evils Oh for the victorie that overcomes the world even our faith Thou O God art my refuge and strength a very present help in trouble therefore will I not fear though the earth be removed and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the Sea VIII Lord I made account my daies should have been but an inch but thou hast made them a span long having drawn out the length of a crazie life beyond the period of my hopes It is for something sure that thou hast thus long respited me from my grave which look't for me many years ago Here I am O my God attending thy good pleasure Thou know'st best what thou hast to do
a deep study fixed our eyes upon that which we the while thought not upon neither perceived that we saw So doth the Christian to these worldly glories pleasures profits whiles his minde and affections are on the things above where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God There Lord let me behold those things which cannot yet be seen but shall once in the sight of them make me blessed And let me not look on the things that are seen for the things that are seen are temporary but the things which are not seen are eternal XIII There is not more strangeness then significance in that charge of the Apostle That we should put on the Lord Jesus Christ The soul is as it were a body not really and properly so according to the gross error of Tertullian but by way of allusion This body of the soul then may not be naked but must be clad as our first parents were ashamed of their bodily nakedness and so still are all their not savage posterity so may we of our spiritual Every sinner is naked those rags that he hath are so far from hiding his nakedness that they are part of it his fairest moralities are but glittering sins and his sins are his nakedness Aaron had made Israel naked to their shame not so much in that they were stripped of their earings as that they were enwrapped in the sin of idolatry No marvel if we run away and hide us from the presence of God as our first parents did whiles we are guilty to our selves of our Spiritual deformity As then we are bodily naked when we come into the world so we are spiritually naked whiles we are of the world neither can it be either safe or comely for us till we be covered There is no clothing can fit the soul but the Lord Jesus Christ all other robes in the wardrobe of Earth or Heaven are too short too straight like those which the scorn of Hanun put upon Davids messengers reaching but to the hams for though the soul of man be finite the sin of the soul is scarce so and that sin must be covered else there can be no safety for the soul according to that of the Psalmist Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven whose sin is covered None therefore but the robes of an infinite Righteousness can cover the soul so wofully dressed none therefore but the Lord Jesus Christ who is God blessed for ever can cover the soul that it may not appear unrighteous or can cleanse the soul that it may not be unrighteous and cleansed it must be ere the Lord Jesus can be put on We shall wrong his perfit holiness if we think we can slip him on as a case over our beastly rags It is with us as with Joshua the high Priest The filthy garments must first be taken off and then the Lord shall say unto us Behold I have caused thine iniquity to pass from thee and I will clothe thee with change of rayment We put on a garment when we apply it all over to our body so as that part which is clothed appears not but is defended from the air and from the eye if we have truely put on the Lord Jesus nothing of ours is seen but Christ is all in all to us although this application goes yet deeper for we so put him on that we not onely put our selves into him but also put him into our selves by a mutual kinde of Spiritual incorporation We put him on then upon our Intellectual parts by knowing him by beleeving on him This is eternal life to know thee and whom thou hast sent saith our Saviour and for Faith no grace doth so sensibly apprehend him and make him so feelingly ours We put him on upon our wills and affections when we take pleasure in him when we love him delight in him and prefer him to our chiefest joy Thus do we put him on as our Lord in our humble and dutiful subjection as our Jesus in our faithful affiance as Christ the anointed of God to be our King in all holy obedience our Priest in our willing consecration to him our Prophet in our cheerful readiness to be instructed by him How happy are we if we be thus decked we prank up these poor carcasses of ours gaily with no small expence and when we have done the stuff or the fashion or both wears out to nothing But here is a garment that will never be out of fashion Jesus Christ yesterday and to day and the same for ever yea the same to us here we put him on in Grace there in eternal Glory The Israelites were fourty years in the wilderness yet their shooes not worn their apparel not impaired but this attire shall not onely hold good in the time of our wandring in this desart but after we are come into the Canaan of glory and is best at last Wherefore do we put on our choisest attire on some high days but to testifie the cheerfulness of our hearts Let thy garment be white saith the Preacher for now God accepteth thy works Mephibosheth changed not his raiment since David went out as one that would have the sorrow of his heart seen in the neglect of his clothes although many a one under a gay coat hath an heavy heart but this attire doth not onely testifie but make cheerfulness in the soul Thou hast given me more joy of heart then they had in the time that their corn and their wine increased and In thy presence is the fulness of joy what can this apparel of ours do but keep us from a blast or a showre it is so far from safeguarding the soul that it many times wounds it and that to the death It was one of the main quarrels against the rich glutton that he was every day clothed in purple and byss How many souls shall once wish that their bodies had been ever either naked or clad with hair-cloth But this aray as it is infinitely rich and beautiful so it is as surely defensative of the soul and is no less then armor of proof against all assaults all miseries What a deal of cost and pains do we bestow upon these wretched bodies of ours onely to make them pleasing and lovely to the eye of some beholders as miserable perhaps as our selves and yet when we have all done we are it may be no better then hard-favord and unhandsome creatures and contemptible in those eyes from whom we desired most approbation Jezebel for all her licking is cast out of the window and troden to dirt in the streets But this robe we can not wear and not be amiable in the eyes of the holiest Behold thou art fair my beloved behold thou art fair and there is no spot in thee Lo in this case the apparel makes the man neither is it in the power of any spiritual deformity to make us other then lovely in the
sight of our God whiles we have Christ put on upon us What ever therefore become of the outward man let it be my care that my soul be vested with my Lord Jesus so shall I be sure to be safe rich amiable here and hereafter glorious It was part of our Saviours charge upon the mount Take no care what to put on but it must be the main care of our lives how to put on Christ upon our souls This is the prime stole wherewith the father of the Prodigal graceth his returned son the heaven of heavens is not worth such another when I have once got this on my back I shall say though in a contrary sense with the Spouse in the Canticles I have put on my coat how shall I put it off I have washed my feet how shall I defile them XIIII With how devout passion doth the Psalmist call to all the works of the Almighty to praise him as well supposing that every creature even those that have no tongues to speak for themselves yet have a tongue to praise their Maker The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament sheweth his handy work Day unto day uttereth speech and night unto night sheweth knowledg There is no speech nor language where their voyce is not heard neither is the very earth defective in this duty Every plant sayes look on me and acknowledg the life colour form smell fruit force that I have from the power of my Creator every worm and flie sayes look on me and give God the praise of my living sense and motion every bird sayes hear me and praise that God who hath given me these various feathers and taught me these several notes every beast whiles he bellows bleats brays barks roars sayes It is God that hath given me this shape this sound yea the very mute fishes are in their very silence vocal in magnifying the infinite wisdom and power of him that made them and placed them in those watery habitations Let every thing that hath breath saith the Psalmist praise the Lord. Yea the very winds whistle and the sea roars out the praise of the Almighty who both raises and allays them at pleasure what a shame were it for man to whom alone God hath given an understanding heart a nimble tongue and articulate language wherein he can express his rational thoughts to be wanting to this so universal devotion and to be as insensible of the great works of God as the ground that he treads upon If others shall be thus unthankfully dumb Yet praise thou the Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name whiles I live will I praise the Lord I will sing praises to my God whilest I have any being But alas Lord thou knowest I cannot so much as will to praise thee without thee do thou fill my heart with holy desires and my mouth with songs of thanksgiving XV. It may seem a strange errand upon which our Saviour tells us he came into the world I am come to send fire on the earth When the two fervent Disciples would have had fire sent down from Heaven upon but a Samaritan Village our Saviour rebuked them and told them they knew not of what spirit they were yet here he makes it his own business to send fire on the earth Alas may we think we have fire too much already how happy were it rather if the fire which is kindled in the world were well quenched and what is the main drift of the Prince of darkness but fire If not to send fire down from Heaven upon the inhabitants of the earth yet to send the inhabitants of the earth down to the fire of hell As then we finde divers kindes of material fire Celestial Elementary Domestique Artificial Natural so there is no less variety of spiritual fires It was in fiery cloven tongues wherein the Holy Ghost descended upon the Apostles in their Pentecost and even this fire did our Saviour come to send down on the earth Thy word was in mee as fire saith the Prophet and did not our harts burn within us said the two Disciples in their walk to Emaus whiles he talked with us This fire he also came to send Heavenly Love and holy Zeal are fire Many waters cannot quench love My zeal hath consumed me saith the Psalmist and these fires our Saviour came to send into the hearts of men holy thoughts are no other then the beams of celestial fire My heart was hot within me whiles I was musing the fire burned and these we know he sends He maketh his Angels spirits and his ministers a flame of fire These he sends forth to the earth to minister for them that shall be heirs of of salvation Besides these afflictions and persecutions are fire We have passed through fire and water Beloved think it not strange concerning the fiery tryal which is to try you as if some strange thing had happened to you and even these are of his sending The Lord hath kindled a fire in Zion and it hath devoured the foundations thereof There is no evil in the city but the Lord hath done it The Lord hath done that which he had devised he hath thrown down and not pitied But this expression of our Saviour goes yet deeper and alludes to the effect of Separation which follows upon the fire of our tryal When the lump of Oar is put into the furnace the fire tryes the pure mettal from the dross and makes an actual division of the one from the other so doth Christ by his Word and Spirit even he that is the Prince and God of Peace comes to set division in the world Surely there are holy quarrels worthy of his engagement for as the flesh lusteth and warreth against the spirit so the spirit fighteth against the flesh and this duel may well beseem God for the Author and the Son of God for the setter of it these second blows make an happy fray Nothing is more properly compared then discord to fire this Christ the first thing he does sets in every heart there is all quietness secure ease and self-contentment in the soul till Christ come there How should it be other when Satan sways all without resistance but when once Christ offers to enter there are straight civil wars in the soul betwixt the old man and the new and it fares with the heart as with an house divided in it self wherein the husband and the wife are at variance nothing is to be heard but unquiet janglings open brawlings secret opposition the houshold takes part and professes a mutual vexation This Spiritual self-division where ever it is though it be troublesom yet it is cordial it puts the soul into the state of Rebeccaâ—s womb which barren yielded no pain but when an Esau and Jacob were conceived and strugling within yielded for the time no ease
beneficial a thing is affliction especially to some dispositions more then other I see some trees that will not thrive unless their roots be laid bare unless besides pruning their bodies be gashed and sliced others that are too luxuriant except divers of their blossoms be seasonably pulld off yield nothing I see too rank corn if it be not timely eaten down may yield something to the barn but little to the granary I see some full bodies that can enjoy no health without strong evacuations blood-lettings fontinels such is the condition of our spiritual part It is a rare soul that can be kept in any constant order without these smarting remedies I confess mine cannot How wilde had I run if the rod had not been over me Every man can say he thanks God for ease for me I bless God for my troubles XXII When I consider what an insensible Atome man is in comparison of the whole body of the Earth and what a meer Center-point the Earth is in comparison of the vast circumference of Heaven and what an almost-infinite distance there is betwixt this point of Earth and that large circle of the Firmament and therewithal think of the innumerable number and immense greatness of those heavenly Luminaries I cannot but apprehend how improbable it is that those Stars should at such a distance distinguish betwixt one man and another betwixt one limb of the same body and another betwixt one spot of Earth and another and in so great a mixture and confusion of influences should give any distinct intimation of particular events in nature and much more of meer contingencies of arbitrary affairs As for the Moon by reason of her vicinity to the Earth and sensible predominance over moysture and for the Sun the great magazin of Light and Heat I acknowledg their powerful but unpartial operations upon this whole globe of Earth and Waters and every part of it not without just wonder and astonishment the other Stars may have their several vertues and effects but their marvelous remoteness and my undiscernable nothingness may seem to forbid any certain intelligence of their distinct workings upon me But whether these glorious Lights give or take any notice of such an imperceptible mite as I sure I am there is great reason I should take notice of them of their beauteous lustre of their wonderful magnitude of their regular motion and be transported with admiration of that omnipotent power wisdom providence which created this goodly and mighty host of Heaven and guides them in their constant march without the least deviation from their first setting out to the last moment of their final conflagration O the narrowness of my wretched heart that affords not room enough for wonder at that which I cannot but see XXIII It becomes not us to be niggardly where our Saviour intends bounty How glad should we be rather to ampliate the benefit of the great Work of our Redeemer but surely I cannot see upon what warrant that favor is grounded that enlargeth the fruit of Christs redemption to the Angels the good needed it not the evil were not capable of it onely mankinde was captiv'd and redeemable by that invaluable ransom Doubtless those blessed Spirits have their part in the joy and gratulation of the infinite mercy of our deliverance for if they rejoyce at the conversion of one sinner what triumph do we think there is in Heaven at the Universal Redemption of all beleevers The propriety of this favor hath reason to ingage us so much the more Lord thy mercy is free and boundless thou wouldst pass by the lapsed Angels and leave them in their sin and their chains and onely rescue miserable man out of their Hell O for an heart that might be in some measure answerable to so infinite mercy and that might be no less captiv'd to thy love then it is freed by thy Redemption XXIIII Men do commonly wrong themselves with a groundless expectation of good fore-promising to themselves all fair terms in their proceedings and all happy success in the issue boding nothing to themselves but what they wish even the man after Gods own heart could say In my prosperity I said tush I shall never be removed wherein their misreckoning makes their disappointment so much the more grievous Had not David made such account of the strength and stability of his Mountain it could not have so much troubled him to have it levell'd with the Plain on the contrary the evils which we look for fall so much the less heavily by how much we are fore-prepared for their entertainment what ever by-accidents I may meet withal besides I have two fixed matches that I must inevitably incounter with Age and Death the one is attended with many inconveniences the other with much horror let me not flatter my self with hopes of jollity and ease My comforts for Heaven shall I trust never fail me but for the present world it shall be well for me if I can without too much difficulty scramble out of the necessary miseries of life and without too much sorrow crawl to my grave XXV Heaven hath many tongues that talk of it more eyes to behold it but few hearts that rightly affect it Ask any Christian especially whom ye shall meet with he will tell you thither he shapes his course there he hath pitcht his hopes and would think himself highly wronged by that man who should make doubt of either his interest or speed But if we shall cast our eyes upon the lives of men or they reflect their eyes upon their own bosomes the hypocrisie will too palpably discover it self for surely which way so ever the faces look the hands and feet of the most men move hell-ward If malice fraud cruelty oppression injustice excess uncleanness pride contention covetousness lyes heresies blasphemies disobedience be the way thither wo is me how many walk in that wide and open road to destruction but even there where the heart pretends to innocence let a man strictly examine his own affections he shall finde them so deeply earthed that he shall be forced to confess his claim to Heaven is but fashionable Ask thy self but this one question O man whatsoever thou art ask it seriously Might I this very hour go to Heaven am I willing and desirous to make a present change of this life for a better and tell me sincerely what answer thou receivest from thine own heart Thy judgment cannot but tell thee that the place is a thousand times better that the condition would be infinitely advantageous to exchange baseness for glory misery for blessedness time for eternity a living death for a life immortal If thou do now fumble and shuffle and demur upon the resolution be convinced of thine own worldliness and infidelity and know that if thy heart had as much of Heaven as thy tongue thou couldst not but say with the chosen vessel I desire to depart hence and to be with Christ which is
Angels that we have parents children husband wife brothers sisters friends whom we dearly loved there For such is the power of love that it can endeare any place to us where the party affected is much more the best If it be a loathsome gaol our affection can make it a delightful bower yea the very grave cannot keep us off The women could say of Mary that she was gone to the grave of Lazarus to weep there and the zeal of those holy clyents of Christ carries them to seek their as they supposed still dead Saviour even in his Tomb Above all conceivable apprehensions then wherein Heaven is endeared to us there is none comparable to that which the Apostle enforceth to us that there Christ sitteth on the right hand of God If we have an husband wife childe whom we dearly love pent up in some Tower or Castle afar off whither we are not allowed to have access how many longing eyes do we cast thither how do we please our selves to think within those walls is he inclosed whom my soul loveth and who is inclosed in my heart but if it may be possible to have passage though with some difficulty and danger to the place how gladly do we put our selves upon the adventure When therefore we hear and certainly know that our most dear Saviour is above in all heavenly glory and that the Heavens must contain him till his coming again with what full contentment of heart should we look up thither How should we break thorow all these secular distractions and be carried up by our affections which are the wings of the soul towards an happy fruition of him Good old Jacob when he heard that his dearling son was yet alive in Egypt how doth he gather up his spirits and takes up a cheerful resolution Joseph my son is yet alive I will go and see him before I dye Do we think his heart was any more in Canaan after he heard where his Joseph was And shall we when we hear and know where our dearest Saviour typified by that good Patriark is that he is gone before to provide a place for us in the rich Goshen above shall we be heartless in our desires towards him and take up with earth How many poor souls take tedious costly perilous voyages to that land which onely the bodily presence of our Saviour could denominate holy their own wickedness justly stiles accursed onely to see the place where our dear Saviour trod where he stood where he sate lay set his last footing and finde a kinde of contentment in this sacred curiosity returning yet never the holier never the happier how then should I be affected with the sight of that place where he is now in person sitting gloriously at the right hand of Majesty adored by all the powers of Heaven Let it be a covenant between me and my eyes never to look up at Heaven as how can I look beside it but I shall in the same instant think of my blessed Saviour sitting there in his glorified humanity united to the incomprehensible glorious Deity attended and worshiped by thousand thousands of Saints and Angels preparing a place for me and all his elect in those eternal Mansions LXXVIII How lively doth the Spirit of God describe the heavenly affections of faithful Abraham that he looked for a city which hath foundations whose builder and maker is God What city was this but the celestial Jerusalem the glorious seat of the Great Empire of Heaven The main strength of any building is in the foundation if that be firm and sure the fabrick well knit together will stand but if that be either not laid or lye loose and unsetled the tottering frame doth but wait upon the next wind for a ruine The good Patriark had been used to dwell in Tents which were not capable of a foundation It is like he and his ancestors wanted not good houses in Chaldea where they were formerly planted God calls him forth of those fixed habitations in his own Countrey to sojourn in Tabernacles or Booths in a strange land his faith carries him cheerfully along his present fruition gives way to hope of better things In stead of those poor sheds of sticks and skins he looks for a City in stead of those stakes and cords he looks for Foundations in stead of mens work he looks for the Architecture of God Alass we men will be building Castles and Towers here upon earth or in the ayr rather such as either have no foundation at all or at the best onely a foundation in the dust neither can they be any other whiles they are of mans making for what can he make in better condition then himself The City that is of Gods building is deep and firmly grounded upon the rock of his eternal decree and hath more foundations then one and all of them both sure and costly Gods material house built by Solomon had the foundation laid with great squared stone but the foundations of the wall of this City of God are garnished with all manner of precious stones Glorious things are spoken of thee O thou city of God Why do I set up my rest in this house of clay which is every day falling on my head whiles I have the assured expectation of so glorious a dwelling above For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved we have a building of God an house not made with hands eternal in the Heavens LXXIX God though he be free of his entertainments yet is curious of his guests we know what the great house-keeper said to the sordid guest Friend how camest thou in hither not having on a wedding garment To his feast of glory none can come but the pure without this disposition no man shall so much as see God much less be entertained by him To his feast of grace none may come but the clean and those who upon strict examination have found themselves worthy That we may be meet to sit at either of these Tables there must be a putting off ere there can be a putting on a putting off the old garments ere there can be a putting on the new the old are foul and ragged the new clean and holy for if they should be worn at once the foul and beastly under-garment would soyl and defile the clean the clean could not cleanse the foul As it was in the Jewish law of holiness holy flesh in the skirt of the garment could not infuse an holiness into the garment but the touch of an unclean person might diffuse uncleanness to the garment Thus our professed holiness and pretended graces are sure to be defiled by our secretly-maintained corruption not our corruption sanctified by our graces as in common experience if the sound person come to see the infected the infected may easily taint the sound the sound cannot by his presence heal the infected If ever therefore we look to
any whit sensibly advanced XCV The wise Christian hath learned to value every thing according to its own worth If we be too glad of these earthly things it is the way to be too much afflicted with their losse and whiles we have them to be transported into pride and wantonness If we esteeme them too little it is the way to an unthankful disrespect of the giver Christianity carries the heart in a just equipoise when they come they are welcom'd without too much joy and when they go they part without teares we may smile at these earthly favors not laugh out we may like them but we must take heed of being in love with them For love of what kinde soever it be is not without the power of assimilation If we love the world we cannot but be worldly-minded They that are after the flesh do minde the things of the flesh and to be carnally minded is death Contrarily if we love God we are made partakers of the divine nature and we are such as we affect If we be Christians in earnest certainly the inner rooms of our hearts which are the holy of holies are reserved for the Almighty the outer courts may be for the common resort of lawful cares and desires they may come and go but our God shall have his fixed habitation here for ever XCVI Nature is slie and cunning neither is it possible to take her without a shift The light huswife wipes her mouth and it was not she Rachel hath stoln her fathers Teraphim and the custom of women is upon her Saul reserves all the fat cattle of the Amalekites it is for a sacrifice to the Lord thy God Neither is it so onely in excusing an evil done but in waving a good to be done I am not eloquent saith Moses send by him by whom thou shouldst send Pharaoh will kill me there is a lyon in the way saith the Sluggard I have marryed a wife I cannot come saith the sensual Guest If I give I shall want If I make a strict profession I shall be censured Whereas true Grace is on the one side down right and ingenuous in its confessions not sparing to take shame to it self that it may give glory to God on the other side resolutely constant to its holy purposes I and my house will serve the Lord If I perish I perish I am ready not to be bound onely but also to dye at Jerusalem for the Name of the Lord Jesus It is not hard therefore for us to know what mistress we serve If our care and endeavor be by witty evasions to shuffle off both evil and good we are the vassals of nature but if we shall with an humble penitence acknowledg our evil and set our selves with firm resolutions upon the tasks of good we are under Grace in a way to glory XCVII It is good for a man not always to keep his eyes at home but sometimes to look abroad at his neighbors and to compare his own condition with the worse estate of others I know I deserve no more then the meanest no better then the worst of men yet how many do I see and hear to lye groaning upon their sick beds in great extremity of torment whereas I walk up and down in a competency of health How many do I see ready to famish and forced to either beg or starve whereas I eat my own bread How many lye roting in Goals and Dungeons or are driven to wander in unknown desarts or amongst people whose language they understand not whereas I enjoy home and liberty How many are shrieking under scourges and racks whereas I sit at ease And if I shall cast mine eyes upon my spiritual condition alass how many do I see sit in darkness and in the shadow of death whereas the Sun of Righteousness hath arisen to me with healing in his wings How many lye in a woful bondage under sin and Satan whereas my Saviour hath freed me from those hellish chains and brought me to the glorious liberty of the sons of God how many are miserably mis-led into the dangerous by-paths of error whereas he hath graciously kept me in the plain and sure way of his saving Truth If we do not sometimes make these not proud but thankful comparisons and look upon our selves not with direct beams but by reflection upon others we shall never be sensible enough of our own mercies XCVIII The true Christian is in a very happy condition for no man will envy him and he can envy no body None will envy him for the world cannot know how happy he is How happy in the favor of a God how happy in the enjoying of that Favor Those secret delights that he findes in the presence of his God those comfortable pledges of Love and mutual interchanges of blessed Interest which pass between them are not for worldly hearts to conceive and no man will envy an unknown happiness On the other side he cannot envy the worlds greatest favorite under Heaven for he well knows how fickle and uncertain that mans felicity is he sees him walking upon Ice and perceives every foot of his sliding and threatning a fall and hears that brittle pavement at every step crackling under him and ready to give way to his swallowing up and withal findes if those pleasures of his could be constant and permanent how poor and unsatisfying they are and how utterly unable to yield true contentment to the soul The Christian therefore whiles others look upon him with pity and scorn laughs secretly to himself in his bosom as well knowing there is none but he truly happy XCIX It was an high and honorable embassie whereon the Angel Gabriel was sent down to the blessed Virgin that she should be the Mother of her Saviour Neither was that inferior of the glorious Angel that brought the joyful tidings of the incarnation and birth of the Son of God to the shepherds of Bethlehem but a far more happy errand was that which the Lord Jesus after his Resurrection committed to the Maries Go to my brethren and say to them I ascend to my Father and your Father and to my God and your God Lo he says not I am risen but I ascend as if he had forgot the Earth whence he arose and thought onely on that Heaven whither he was going Upon his Easter his minde is on his Ascension day As there had been nothing but discomfort in death without a Resurrection so there had been little comfort in a Resurrection without an Ascension to glory There is a contentment in the very act I ascend even nature is ambitious and we do all affect to mount higher as to come down is a Death but this height is like the ascendent infinite I ascend to my Father There was the glory which he put off in his humble Incarnation there was the glory which he was now to resume and possess to all eternity And as if Nature and
gracious a liberty of exchanging these worthless thoughts of the world for the deare and precious meditations of heavenly things and now how justly do I fall out with my wretched self that I have given way to secular distractions since my heart can be sometimes in Heaven why should it not be alwaies there II. What is this that I see my Saviour in an Agonie and an Angel strengthening him Oh the wonderful dispensation of the Almighty That the eternal Son of God who promised to send the comforter to his followers should need comfort That he of whom the voice from Heaven said This is my well-beloved Son in whom I am well pleased should be strugling with his Fathers wrath even to blood That the Lord of life should in a languishing horror say My soul is exceeding sorrowfull even unto death These these O Saviour are the chastisements of our peace which both thou wouldst suffer and thy Father would inflict The least touch of one of those pangs would have been no less then an hell to mee the whole brunt whereof thou enduredst for my soul what a wretch am I to grudg a little paine from or for thee who wert content to undergoe such pressure of torment for me as squeezed from thee a sweat of blood since my miserable sinfulness deserved more load then thou in thy merciful compassion wilt lay upon mee and thy pure nature and perfect innocence merited nothing but love and glory In this sad case what service is it that an Angel offers to do unto thee Lo there appeares to thee an Angel from Heaven strengthening thee still more wonder Art not thou the God of spirits Is it not thou that gavest being life motion power glory to all the Angels of Heaven Shall there be need of one single created spirit to administer strength and comfort to his Creator were this the errand why did not all that blessed Chore of celestial spirits joyn their forces together in so high an imployment Where are the multitudes of that heavenly host which at thy birth sung Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace Where are those Angels which ministred to thee after thy combat of temptations in the wilderness Surely there was not so much use of their divine cordialls in the desart as in the garden O my God and Saviour thus thou wouldst have it It is thy holy will that is the rule and reason of all thine actions and events Thou that wouldst make use of the provision of men for thy maintenance on earth wouldst employ thy servants the Angels for the supply of thy consolations and thou that couldst have commanded Legions of those celestial spirits wouldst be served by one not but that more were present but that onely one appeared all the host of them ever invisibly attended thee as God but as man one onely presents himself to thy bodily eyes and thou who madest thy self for our sakes a little lower then the Angels which thou madest wouldst humble thy self to receive comfort from those hands to which thou gavest the capacity to bring it It is no marvel if that which was thy condescent be our glory and happiness I am not worthy O God to know what conflicts thou hast ordained for my weakness what ever they be thou that hast appointed thine Angels to be ministring spirits for the behoof of them who shall be heirs of salvation suffer not thy servant to want the presence of those blessed Emissaries of thine in any of his extremities let them stand by his soul in his last agonie and after an happy Eluctation conveigh it to thy glory III. Many a one hath stumbled dangerously at a wicked mans prosperity and some have fallen desperately into that sin which they have seen thrive in others hands Those carnal hearts know no other proof of good or evil but present events esteeming those causes holy and just which are crowned with outward success not considering that it is one of the cunningest plots of hell to win credit to bad enterprises by the fairest issues wherein the Devill deales with unwary men like some cheating gamester who having drawn in an unskilful and wealthy novice into play suffers him to win a while at the first that he may at the last sweet away all the stakes and some rich mannors to boote The foolish Benjaminites having twice won the field begin to please themselves with a fale conceit of Gibeahs honesty and their own perpetual victories but they shall soon finde that this good speed is but a pit-fal to entrap them in an ensuing destruction It is a great judgment of God to punish sinners with welfare and to render their leud waies prosperuos wherein how contrary are the Almighties thoughts to theirs their seeming blessings are his heavy curse and the smart of his stripes are a favor too good for them to enjoy to judge wisely of our condition it is to be considered not so much how we fare as upon what termes If we stand right with Heaven every cross is a blessing and every blessing a pledge of future happiness if we be in Gods disfavor every of his benefits is a judgment and every judgment makes way for perdition For mee let it be my care that my disposition may be holy and my actions righteous let God undertake for the event IV It is no easie thing to perswade a man that he is proud every one professes to hate that vice yet cherishes it secretly in his bosome for what is pride but an over-weening of our selves and such is is our natural self-love that we can hardly be drawn to believe that in any kinde we think too well of our own Now this pride is ever so much more dangerous as the thing which we over-prize is more excellent and as our mis-apprehension of it mâ—y be more diffusive To be proud of gay-cloathes which is childish or to be proud of beauty which is a womanish vice hath in it more fondness then malignity and goes no further then the brest wherein it is conceived finding no other entertainment in the beholders then either smiles or envy but the pride of knowledg or holy dispositions of the soul as it is of an higher nature so it produceth commonly more perilous effects for as it puffes up a man above measure so it suffers not it self to bekept in within the narrow bounds of his own thoughts but violently bursts out to the extream prejudice of a world of men Onely by pride commeth contention saith wise Solomon Even purse-pride is quarelous domineering over the humble neighbourhood and raising quarrels out of trifles but the spiritual arrogance is so much more mischeivous as the soul is beyond all earthly pelf For when we are once come to advance and admire our own judgments we are first apt to hug our own inventions then to esteem them too precious to be smothered within our own closets the world must know of how
with me Dispose of me as thou wilt Only make me faithfull in all thy services resolute to trust my self with thee in all events carefull to be approved of thee in all my waies and crown my decayed age with such fruits as may be pleasing to thee and available to the good of many Lastly let me live to thee and die in thee IX How oft Lord have I wondred to see the strange carriage of thine administration of these earthly affaires and therein to see thy marvailous wisdome power goodness in fetching good out of evill Alas we wretched men are apt enough to fetch the worst of evils out of the greatest good turning the grace of thee our God into wantonnesse but how have I seen thee of liveless stones to raise up children to Abraham of sinners to make Saints out of a desperate confusion to fetch order out of a bloudy war an happy peace out of resolutions of revenge love out of the rock water out of a persecuter an Apostle How can I be discouraged with unlikelihoods when I see thee work by contraries It is not for me O my God to examine or pre-judge thy counsailes take what waies thou wilt so thou bring me to thine own end all paths shall be direct that shall leade me to blessedness X. How many good purposes O my God have I taken up let fall to the ground again without effect how teeming hath this barren womb of my heart been of false conceptions but especially when thy hand hath been smart and heavy upon me in mine affliction how have I tasked my self with duties and revived my firme resolutions of more strict obedience which yet upon the continuance of my better condition I have slackened Lord it is from thee that I purposed well it is from my own sinfull weakness that I failed in my performances If any good come me the will and the deed must be both thine The very preparations of the heart are from thee and if I have devised my way it must be thou that directest my steps O God do thou ripen and perfect all the good motions that thou puttest into my soul and make my health but such as my sickness promised XI Every man Lord is unwilling that his name should dye we are all naturally ambitious of being thought on when we are gone those that have not living monuments to perpetuate them affect to have dead if Absolon have not a son he will yet erect a pillar yet when we have all done time eates us out at the last There is no remembrance of the wise more then of the foole for ever seeing that which now is in the daies to come shall all be forgotten O God let it be my care and ambition what ever become of my memory here below that my name may be recorded in Heaven XII Thy wise providence O God hath so ordered it that every mans minde seeks and findes contentment in some thing otherwise it could not be since we must meet with so frequent crosses in the world but that mans life would be burdensome to him one takes pleasure in his hauke or hound another in his horses and furnitures one in fair buildings another in pleasant walks and beautiful gardens one in travailing abroad another in the enioying of the profits and pleasures of his home one in the increase of his wealth another in the titles of his honor one in a comfortable wife another in loving and dutiful children but when all is done if there be not somwhat els to uphold the heart in the evil day it must sink O God do thou possesse my soul of thee let me place all my felicity in the fruition of thine infinite goodness so I am sure the worst of the world hath not power to render me other then happy XIII O Lord God under how opposite aspects do I stand from the world how variously am I construed by men One pities my condition another praises my patience One favors mee out of the opinion of some good that he thinks he sees in mee another dislikes me for some imagined evil What are the eyes or tongues of men to mee Let me not know what they say or think of me and what am I the better or worse for them they can have no influence upon me without my own apprehension All is in what termes I stand with thee my God if thou be pleased to look upon me with the eye of thy tender mercy and compassion What care I to be unjustly brow-beaten of the world If I may be blessed with thy favour let me be made a gazing-stock to the world to Angels and to men XIV Speak Lord for thy servant heareth What is it which thou wouldst have me do that I may finde rest to my soul I am willing to exercise my self in all the acts of piety which thou requirest I am ready to fast to pray to read to hear to meditate to communicate to give alms to exhort admonish reprove comfort where thou bid'st me and if there be any other duty appertaining to devotion or mercy let me serve thee in it But alas O my God howsoever I know these works are in themselves well-pleasing unto thee yet as they fall from my wretchedness they are stained with so many imperfections that I have more reason to crave pardon for them then to put confidence in them and if I could performe them never so exquisitely yet one sin is more then enough to dash all my obedience I see then O Lord I well see there is no act that I can be capable to do unto thee wherein I can finde any repose it must be thine act to me which only can effect it It is thy gracious word Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest Lo this rest must be thy gift not my earning and what can be freer then gift Thou givest it then but to those that come to thee not to those that come not To those that come to thee laden and labouring under the sense of their own wretchedness not to the proud and careless O Saviour thy sinner is sufficiently laden with the burden of his iniquities lade thou me yet more with true penitent sorrow for my sins and inable me then to come unto thee by a lively faith Take thou the praise of thine own work Give me the grace to come and give me rest in coming XV. O blessed Saviour What strange variety of conceits do I finde concerning thy thousand years raign What riddles are in that prophesie which no humane tongue can aread where to fix the begining of that marvailous millenary and where the end and what manner of raign it shall be whether temporal or spiritual on earth or in heaven undergoes as many constructions as there are pens that have undertaken it and yet when all is done I see thine Apostle speaks onely of the souls of thy martyrs raigning
so long with thee not of thy raigning on earth so long with those Martyrs How busie are the tongues of men how are their brains taken up with the indeterminable construction of this enigmaticall truth when in the mean time the care of thy spirituall raign in their hearts is neglected O my Saviour whiles others weary themselves with the disquisition of thy personall raign here upon earth for a thousand years let it be the whole bent and study of my soul to make sure of my personall raign with thee in heaven to all eternity XVI Blessed be thy name O God who hast made a good use even of hell it self How many Atheous hearts have been convinced by the very operations of Devils Those which would with the stupid Saducees perswade themselves there are no spirits yet when they have sensibly found the marvellous effects wrought even by the base instruments of Satan they have been forced to confesse Doubtless there is a God that rules the world for so great powers of evill spirits must necessarily evince the greater powers of good It is of thy wise and holy dispensation that thy good Angels do not so frequently exhibite themselves and give so visible demonstrations of their presence to thy Saints as the evill Angels do to their Vassals though they are ever as present and more powerfull What need they when thou so mightily over-rulest those malignant spirits that thou forcest from them thine own glory and advantage to thy chosen Lord how much more shall all thy other creatures serve to thy praise when thy very hellish enemies shall proclaim thy justice goodness omnipotence XVII Speculation O Lord is not more easie then practice is difficult how many have we known who as it was said of the Philosophers of old know how to speak well but live ill How many have written books of Chymistry and given very confident directions for the finding out of that precious stone of the Philosophers but how many have indeed made gold Practice is that which thou O God chiefly requirest and respectest who hast said If ye know these things blessed are ye if you do them Knowledg puffeth up but love edifieth O Lord do thou enlighten mine eyes with the knowledg of thy will but above all do thou rectifie my affections guide my feet into the wayes of thy commandements apply my heart to fulfill thy statutes alway and Prosper thou the work of my hands upon me O prosper thou my handi-work XVIII How oft have I wondred O Lord at the boldness of those men who knowing they must shortly die yet dare do those things which will draw upon them eternity of torments What shall I say but The fool hath said in his heart there is no God Surely men love themselves well enough and would be loth to do that which would procure them an inevitable misery and pain Did they therefore believe there were another world and that they must be called to a strict reckoning for all their actions and be doomed to an everlasting death for their wicked deeds they durst not they could not do those acts which should make them eternally miserable Let me say to the most desperate ruffian there is poyson in this cup drink this draught and thou diest he would have the wit to keep his lips close and cast the potion to the ground were it not for their infidelity so would men do to the most plausible but deadly offers of sin O Lord since I know thy righteous judgments teach me to tremble at them restrain thou my feet from every evill way and teach me so to walk as one that looks every hour to appear before thy just and dreadfull Tribunal XIX The longer I live O my God the more do I wonder at all the works of thine hands I see such admirable artifice in the very least and most despicable of all thy creatures as doth every day more and more astonish my observation I need not look so far as Heaven for matter of marvaile though therein thou art infinitely glorious whiles I have but a spider in my window or a bee in my garden or a worm under my feet every one of these overcomes me with a just amazement yet can I see no more then their very out-sides their inward form which gives them their being and operations I cannot pierce into the less I can know O Lord the more let me wonder and the less I can satisfie my self with marvailing at thy works the more let me adore the majesty and omnipotence of thee that wroughtest them XX. Alas my Lord God what poor weak imperfit services are those even at the best that I can present thee withal How leane lame and blemished sacrifices do I bring to thine altar I know thou art worthy of more then my soul is capable to perform and fain would I tender thee the best of thine own but what I would that I do not yea cannot do Surely had I not to do with an infinite mercy I might justly look to be punished for my very obedience But now Lord my impotence redounds to the praise of thy goodness for were I more answerable to thy justice the glory of thy mercy would be so much less eminent in my remission acceptance Here I am before thee to await thy good pleasure thou knowest whether it be better to give me more ability or to accept of that poor ability thou hast given me but since when thou hast given me most I shall still and ever stand in need of thy forgiveness Let my humble suit be to thee alwaies rather for pardon of my defects then for a supply of thy graces XXI O my God how do I see many profane and careless souls spend their time in jollity and pleasure The harp and the Viol the Tabret and the pipe and wine are in their feasts Whiles I that desire to walk close with thee in all conscionable obedience droop and languish under a dull heaviness and heartless dejection I am sure I have a thousand times more cause of joy and cheerfulness then the merriest of all those wilde and joviall spirits they have a world to play withall but I have a God to rejoyce in their sports are triviall and momentanie my joy is serious and everlasting One dram of my mirth is worth a pound of theirs But I confesse O Lord how much I am wanting to my self in not stirring up this holy fire of spirituall joy but suffering it to lie raked up under the dead ashes of a sad neglect O thou who art the God of hope quicken this heavenly affection in my soul and fill me with all joy and peace in believing make my heart so much more light then the worldlings by how much my estate is happier XXII What shall I do Lord I strive and tug what I may with my naturall corruptions and with the spirituall wickednesses in high places which set upon my soul
but sometimes I am foyled and go halting out of the field it is thy mercy that I live being so fiercely assaulted by those principalities and powers it were more then wonder if I should escape such hands without a wound Even that holy servant of thine who strove with thine Angel for a blessing went limping away though he prevailed what mervail is it that so weak a wretch as I striving with many evill Angels for the avoidance of a curse come off with a maime or a scar But blessed be thy name the wounds that I receive are not mortall and when I fall it is but to my knees whence I rise with new courage and hopes of victory Thou who art the God of all power and keepest the keys of hell and death hast said Resist the Devill and he will flee from you Lord I do and will by thy merciful ayd still and ever resist make thou my faith as stedfast as my will is resolute Oh still teach thou my hands to war and my fingers to fight arme thou my soul with strength and at last according to thy gracious promise crown it with victory XXIII Oh Lord God how ambitious how covetous of knowledg is this soul of mine as the eye is not satisfied with seeing nor the eare filled with hearing no more is the mind of man with understanding yea so insatiable is my heart that the more I know the more I desire to know and the less I think I know Under heaven there can be no bounds set to this intellectuall appetite O do thou stop the mouth of my soul with thy self who art infinite Whom have I in heaven but thee and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee Alas Lord if I could know all creatures with all their forms qualities workings if I could know as much as innocent Adam or wise Solomon Yea more if I could know all that is done in earth or heaven what were my soul the better if it have not attained the knowledg of thee Since as the Preacher hath most wisely observed In much wisdome is much grief and he that increaseth knowledg increaseth sorrow Oh then set off my heart from affecting that knowledg whose end is sorrow and fix it upon that knowledg which brings eeverlasting life And this is life eternal to know thee the only true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent XXIV O my God what miserable uncertainties there are in these worldly hopes But yesterday I made account of an eminent advantage of my estate which now ends in a deep loss How did we lately feed our selves with the hope of a firme and during peace which now shuts up in too much bloud How confidently did I relie upon the promised favour of some great friends which now leave me in the suds as the scorn of a mis-called fortune In how slippery places O Lord do our feet stand If that may be said to stand which is ever sliding never fixed And not more slippery then brittle so as there is not more danger of falling then of sinking With thee O God with thee only is a constant immutability of happiness There let me seek it there let me finde it and over-looking all the fickle objects of this vain world let my soul pitch it self upon that blessed immortality which ere long it hopes to enjoy with thee XXV Lord God What a wearisome circle do I walk in here below I sleep and dress and work and eat and work again and eat again and undress and sleep again and thus wearing out my time finde a satiety in all these troublesome Lord when shall I come to that state wherein I shall do nothing but injoy thee do nothing but praise thee and in that one work shall finde such infinite contentment that my glorified soul cannot wish to do any other and shall therein alone bestow a blessed eternity XXVI O God how troublesome and painful do I find this Sun of thine whose scorching beams beat upon my head and yet this excellent creature of thine is that to which under thee we are beholden for our very life and it is thy great blessing to the earth that it may enjoy these strong and forceable rayes from it Oh Who shall be able to endure the burning flames of thy wrath which thou intendest for the punishment and everlasting torment of thine enemies And if men shall blaspheme the name of thee the God of heaven for the great heat of that beneficiall creature what shall we think they will do for that fire which shall be consuming them to all eternity Lord keep my soul from those flames which shall be ever burning and never either quenched or abated XXVII Which way O Lord which way can I look and not see some sad examples of misery One wants his limbs with Mephibosheth another his sight with Bartimeus a third with Lazarus wants bread and a whole skin One is pained in his body another plundred of his estate a third troubled in minde one is pined in prison another tortured on the rack a third languisheth under the loss of a deare son or wife or husband Who am I Lord that for the present I enjoy an immunity from all these sorrows I am sure none grones under them that hath deserved them more It is thy mercy thy meer mercy O my good God that any of these calamities have faln beside me Oh make me truly thankful for thine infinite goodness and yet onely so sensible of thy gracious indulgence this way as that when any of these evils shall seize upon mee I may be no more dejected in the sense of them then I am now over-joyed with the favor of their forbearance XXVIII O blessed God what variety of gifts hast thou scattered amongst the sons of men To one thou hast given vigor of body to another agility beauty to a third to one depth of judgment to another quickness of apprehension to one readiness and rarity of invention to another tenacity of memorie to one the knowledg of liberal arts to another the exquisiteness of manuary skill to one worldly wealth to another honour to one a wise heart to another an eloquent tongue to one more then enough to another contentment with a little to one valour to another sagacity These favors O Lord thou hast promiscuously dispersed amongst both thy friends and enemies but oh how transcendent are those spiritual mercies which thou hast reserved for thine own the graces of heavenly wisdome lively faith fervent charity firme hope joy in the holy Ghost and all the rest of that divine beauye For any competency of the least of thy common blessings I desire to be thankful to thy bounty for which of them O God can I either merit or requite but oh for a soul truly and eagarly ambitious of those thy best mercies Oh let me ever long for them and ever be insatiable of them Oh do thou fill my heart
we all lie down in our bed of earth as sure to wake as ever we can be to shut our eyes In and from thee O blessed Saviour is this our assurance who art the first fruits of them that sleep The first handfull of the first fruits was not presented for it self but for the whole field wherein it grew The vertue of that oblation extended it self to the whole crop Neither didst thou O blessed Jesu rise again for thy self only but the power and vertue of thy resurrection reaches to all thine so thy chosen Vessel tels us Christ the first fruits afterwards they that are Christs at his coming So as though the resurrection be of all the dead both just and unjust yet to rise by the power of thy resurrection is so proper to thine own as that thou O Saviour hast styled it the resurrection of the just whiles the rest shall be drag'd out of their graves by the power of thy God-head to their dreadful judgment Already therefore O Jesu are we risen in thee and as sure shall rise in our own persons The Loco-motive faculty is in the head Thou who art our head art risen we who are thy members must and shall follow Say then O my dying body say boldly unto Death Rejoyce not over me O mine enemy for though I fall yet I shall rise again Yea Lord the vertue of thy first fruits diffuseth it self not to our rising only but to a blessed immortality of these bodies of ours for as thou didst rise immortall and glorious so shall we by and with thee Who shalt change these vile bodies and make them like to thy glorious body The same power that could shake off death can put on glory and Majesty Lay thee down therefore O my body quietly and cheerfully and look to rise in another hue Thou art sown in corruption thou shalt be raised in incorruption thou art sown in dishonour thou shalt be raised in glory thou art sown in weaknesse but shalt be raised in power XXXVI In this life in this death of the body O Lord I see there are no degrees though differences of time The man that dyed yesterday is as truly dead as Abel the first man that dyed in the world and Methuselah that lived nine hundred sixty nine years did not more truly live then the childe that did but salute and leave the world but in the life to come and the second death there are degrees degrees of blessedness to the glorified degrees of torments to the damned the least whereof is unspeakable unconceivable Oh thou that art the Lord of life and death keep my soul from those steps that go down to the chambers of death and once set it for higher I dare not sue to go but over the threshold of glory and blessedness XXXVII O Lord my God I am as very a Pilgrime as ever walked upon thy earth Why should I look to be in any better condition then my neighbours then my forefathers Even the best of them that were most fixed upon their inheritance were no other then strangers at home It was not in the power of the world to naturalize them much less to make them enroll themselves free-Denizons here below they knew their country which they sought was above so infinitely rich and pleasant that these earthly regions which they must pass thorough are in comparison worthy of nothing but contempt My condition is no other then theirs I wander here in a strange country What wonder is it if I meet with forrainers fare hard usage and neglect Why do I intermeddle with the affaires of a nation that is not mine Why do I clog my self in my way with the base and heavy lumber of the world Why are not my affections homeward Why do I not long to see and enjoy my fathers house O my God thou that hast put me into the state of a Pilgrim give me a Pilgrims heart set me off from this wretched world wherein I am let me hate to think of dwelling here Let it be my only care how to pass through this miserable wilderness to the promised land of a blessed eternitie XXXVIII One Talent at the least O Lord hast thou put into my hand and that sum is great to him that is not worth a dram but alas what have I done with it I confess I have not hid it in a napkin but have been laying it out to some poor advantage yet surely the gain is so unanswerable that I am afraid of an Audit I see none of the approved servants in the Gospel brought in an increase of less value then the receit I fear I shall come short of the sum O thou who justly holdest thy self wronged with the style of an austere master vouchsafe to accept of my so mean improvement and thou who valuedst the poor widows mites above the rich gifts cast into thy Treasurie be pleased to allow of those few pounds that my weak indevors could raise from thy stock and mercifully reward thy servant not according to his success but according to his true intentions of glorifying thee XXXIX What a word is this which I hear from thee O Saviour Behold I stand at the doore and knock Thou which art the Lord of life God blessed for ever to stand and knock at the door of a sinful heart Oh what a praise is this of thy mercy and long suffering What a shame to our dull neglect and graceless ingratitude For a David to say I waited patiently upon the Lord Truly my soul waiteth upon God it is but meet and comely for it is no other then the duty of the greatest Monarchs on earth yea of the highest Angels in Heaven to attend their Maker but for thee the great God of Heaven to wait at the door of us sinful dust and ashes what a condescension is this what a longanimity It were our happiness O Lord if upon our greatest suit and importunity we might have the favor to entertain thee into our hearts but that thou shouldst importune us to admit thee and shouldst wait at the posts of our doors till thine head be filled with dew and thy locks with the drops of the night it is such a mercy as there is not room enough in our souls to wonder at In the mean time what shall I say to our wretched unthankfulnes and impious negligence Thou hast graciously invited us to thee and hast said knock and it shall be opened and yet thou continuest knocking at our doors and we open not willingly delaying to let in our happiness we know how easie it were for thee to break open the brasen doors of our brests and to come in but the Kingdome of Heaven suffers not violence from thee though it should suffer it from us Thou wilt do all thy works in a sweet and gracious way as one who will not force but win love Lord I cannot open unless thou that