of thine owne blood O Lord thou diddest loue me more then thy self since thou didest resolue to dye for me By so costly a bargaine and at soe high a price thou diddest reduce me from banishement thou diddest redeeme mee from seruitude thou didest retyre mee from punishement Thou diddest call mee in thy Name thou diddest marke me out with thy blood that the memory of thee might for euer stand before mee and that my hart might neuer receede from him who did not refuse the Crosse for mee Thou didest annoynt mee with that oyle which belonged in cheyf to thy selfe that as thou art Christ soe from thee I might be called a Christian And in thy hands thou hast written mee that thou mightest haue a continuall memory of mee with thee vpon condition that the continuall memory of thee might be still with mee Thus hath thy grace and mercy euer preuented mee For thou O my deliuerer hast often freed me from many and greate daungers When I wandred thou broughtest me back to the way when I was ignorant thou diddest teach me when I sinned thou diddest reproue mee when I was in sorrow thou diddest releiue me when I was in despayre thou didest comfort me when I fell thou diddest rayse mee when I stood thou heldest mee when I walked thou diddest lead mee when I slept thou diddest guard mee and when I cryed out to thee thou diddest heare me CHAP. XIV That God doth consider the workes and purposes of mankinde with a perpetuall attention O Lord my God and the life of my soule thou hast imparted these and many other benefits to mee whereof it would be a deare thing for mee to be euer speaking euer thinkeing and euer giueing thankes That I might for euer praise and loue thee for all thy good blessings with my whole harte and my whole soule and my whole mynde and my whole strength and with all the very marrow and the most intimate parts of my affection and with all the parts and powers of my whole man O Lord my God who art the happy sweetnes of all them who are delighted in thee But thyne eyes haue seene my imperfections Those eyes I say of thyne which are farre brighter then the Sunne lookeing downe round about at ease vpon the wayes of men and vpon the profound Abysse and they doe euery where contemplate both the good and badd For as thou doest preside ouer all things thou being all for euer present euery where and takeing particular care of all these things which thou hast created because thou hatest none of them which thou hast made so also dost thou consider all my paces and steps and doest euer keepe a watchfull guard ouer mee day and night and like a perpetuall centinell dost diligently note my wayes as if thou haddest forgotten all the whole world of thy other creatures both in heauen and earth didest not care for the rest For nether would the light of thyne owne vnchangeable sight encrease in thee though thou shouldest behould but any one onely thinge nether is it diminished although thou behould diuers and innumerable things For as thou dost perfectly and at once consider any one thinge by one onely acte of seeinge soe doth thy whole sight most perfectly and that at once behould the whole of euery particular thinge how different soeuer they may be among themselues And as it considereth all soe it considereth one and as any one soe euery one and all of them at once doest thou consider without any diuision or mutation or diminution Therefore all thou in all time without time doest consider all mee at once and that cōtinually as exactly as if thou haddest nothinge else to consider And soe therefore doest thou stand in guard of mee as if thou wouldest attend to mee alone diddest forgett all the rest For thou doest euer shew thy selfe to be present and if thou finde me ready thou doest euer offer thy self also ready Whither soeuer I goe O Lord thou forsakest me not vnles I be the first to forsake thee wheresoeuer I be thou departest not away for thou art euery where and wheresoeuer I goe I shall finde thee By what meanes may I be kept from perishing without thee since without thee I cannot be at all I confesse that whatsoeuer I doe whether it be litle or much I doe it all in thy presence and whatsoeuer that be thou seest it better then my selfe For whatsoeuer I doe thou findest thy self present there as a perpetuall spectatour of all my cogitations intentions delectations operations O Lord all my desires thoughts are euer standing before thee Thou discernest O Lord whence the spirit comes where it is whither it goes For thou art the ponderer and waigher out of all spirits and whether that roote be sweete or bitter from which the faire leaues of our actions are sent out thou as an internall Iudge dost know best Yea and thou dost sifte most subtilely into the most secret parts and pith of those very rootes dost not onely obserue number contemplate and keepe accompt of the intention by the most exquisite truth of thy light but also of the most profound and hidden sapp of that roote to the end that thou mayest repay to euery one not onely according to their workes or theyr expresse intention but also according to that interiour and originall spirit of the roote of theyr actions from whence the intention of him that worketh doth proceede To whatsoeuer I tend when I worke whatsoeuer I thinke in whatsoeuer I am delighted thyne eares heare mee thyne eyes see me and consider mee Thou dost marke and iudge and note and write in thy booke whether it be good or badd to the end that afterward thou mayest render eyther rewardes for that which is good or torments for that which is euill When thy bookes shall be opened all soules shall be iudged according to those things which shall be written in those bookes And this perhaps is that which thou didest already say to vs I will consider the last thinges of those men And that also which is sayd of thee O Lord He considereth the end of all men For thou O Lord dost in all those things which we doe more attend to the end of our intention then to the act of our operation And when I consider those things diligently O Lord my God who art soe terrible and full of strength I am alike confounded betweene huge feare and shame For a mighty necessity is imposed vpō vs of liueing with rectitude and iustice who doe all the things which we doe before the eyes of a Iudge who seeth all things CHAP. XV. Tat man of himselfe can doe nothing without diuine Grace O Thou most mighty and Omnipotent God the God of the spirits of all flesh whose eyes are ouer all the wayes of the sonnes of Adam from the day of theyr natiuity to that other of theyr death to the end that thou mayest reward euery
vp enough Let my life runn on towards thyne imbracements and lett it neuer looke aside till it be all hidden vp in the hidden ioy of seeing thy face In the meane tyme this I know that it goes ill with me when I want thee O Lord. And not onely is it ill with me in respect of the things which are without me but in respect of them also which are within me For whatsoeuer plenty there may be in the world which is not my God is noe better to me then meere beggery For it is thou alone who canst not be changed either into better or worse thou who indeed and simply art alone thou to whom it is not one thing to liue and an other thing to liue happily beccause thou art thyne owne Beatitude But thy creature to nhom it is one thing to liue and another thinge to liue happily must not attribute eyther happy life yea or so much as life to any other thing then thy grace Therefore is it that we stand in need of thee and not thou of vs. For although we had noe beeing at all yet there would be nothing wanting to thee of that compleat good which thou art It is necessarie therfore that we adhear still to thee O Lord that by thy continuall assistance we may be able to liue holyly and vprightly For we are drawē downe fast enough by the waight of our frailty but by thy guifte we are kindled and carried vpward and we are inflamed and we fly on whither we are goeinge which is towards the peace of Ierusalem For I haue reioyced in those things which haue beene said to me let vs goe into the howse of our Lord. There hath a rectifyed and good will placed vs and so as that we can desire noe more but that we may remaine there for euer But because whilest we are in this body we wander as pilgrims from thee therefore we haue not here any permanent Citty but we expect another which is to come for our habitation is in Heauen And therefore by the conduct of thy grace doe I goe into the most retyred corner of my hart and I sing loue songs to thee O my Kinge and my God groaninge out certaine groanes which indeed cannot be described in this place of my pilgrimage where thy lawe is the song in which I delight my selfe And calling Ierusalem to minde I extend and stretch the whole power of my hart towards it Ierusalem which is my Country Ierusalem which is my Mother And towards thee also who art the ruler the illuminator the father the tutor the defendor the pastor the chaste and strong delight therof the solide ioy all wnspekable good things yea all of them together because thou art the onely supreame and true good Nor will I be drawen aside from this exercice till thou O my God and my mercy shalt draw together all that which I am from this despersion and deformity wherein I finde my self and till thou shalt conforme me to thy selfe and confirme me therein for all eternity in the communion of that most deere Mother of mine whither the flower and first fruites of my spiritt are already gone before CHAP. XIX He distinguisheth betweene that wisdome which is called the house of God and that other wisdome which is supremely diuine THis is that howse of thine O God noe earthly howse nor yet built of any corporeal thinge in heauen but I meane that spirituall howse which is partaker of thyne eternity because it is for euer to remaine without spott For thou hast appointed that it should remaine for euer and for euer thou haste imposed a precept and it shall not passe away Yet that creature O God is not eternall as thou art eternall because it was not without beginning for it was made Of all the Creatures this Wisdome is that which was created first I meane not that Wisdome which was absolutely coeternall and coequall with God the Father wherby all things were created and in which Beginninge heauen and earth was made but I meane the Wisdome which is created namely that spirituall nature which by the contemplation of thy light is light for euen this although it be created is called Wisdome But as much difference as there is betweene the light which doth illuminate and that which groweth to be light by being illuminated so much difference also there is betweane thee who art the supreame wisdome creatinge all things and this other which is created as also there is betweene that Iustice which iustifieth which is thy selfe O our God and that Iustice which is produced in vs by our beinge iustified For we also are called the Iustice of God the Father in thee who art his Sonne our Lord by the testimony of the Apostle Though therfore the first of all the creatures was a kinde of Wisdome Which was made to be a rationall intellectuall mind inhabiting thy holy Citty our mother which is aboue and which is free and eternall in the Heauens what Heauens but those Heauens of the Heauens which praise thee because this is that wherof it is said The Heauens of the Heauens to our Lord although we finde no Tyme before that Creature because it was before the creation of Tyme as being the first of all the creatures yet neuerthelesse thou art before it O Eternall God the Creator of all things from whome as soone as it was made it tooke a beginninge though not indeed of Tyme because Tyme was not then created but yet a beginninge of that nature which it was come to haue It came therfore so from thee O Lord our God as that it is cleerly another thing then thou art For although I finde noe Tyme neither before it nor in it it is yet neuertheles fitt to behold thy face neither is it euer diuerted from thence Hence it comes that it is not subiect to any change Yet a kinde of mutabillity is still in it wherby it would growe all darke and cold vnlesse by adhearing to thee with an excessiue loue it did like a sunn which were euer bright as noone day both shine and boile vp with heat towards thee In fine that creature doth so adhear to thee our true God who art truely eternall that although it be not coeternall to thee yet neuerthelesse it is not discharged nor distracted from thee into any variety or vicissitude of tyme. But it reposeth in the most true cōtemplation of thee alone For to such an one ô Lord as loues thee as much as thou commandest thou dost cleerly discouer thy selfe and it sufficeth him And from hence it growes that the Angells doe neuer decline either from thee or from themselues but perpetually they remaine in the same state incessantly beholding thee and incessantly loueinge thee who art the true light and the chaste loue O how blessed and sublyme is this Creature of Creatures most happy in eternally adhearing to thy beatitude happy and excessiuely happy in haueinge thee
blessings BEhold mee I beseeche thee let thy great mercy stand open to me Illustrate mee yet more with thy light that soe it may be discouered to me more and more For by these little workes of thyne wee growe to comprehend thy great ones and by thy visible workes we are enabled to take some ayme at thy inuisible workes O Lord our God the holy and good Creatour of vs all For if O my Lord whilest we are in this body which is soe corruptible and ignoble thou dost imparte to vs so great and euen innumerable benefits by meanes of the heauens and of the ayre of the earth and sea of light and darkenes of sunne and shade of dew and gentle rayne of wyndes and stiffe showers of birds and fishes of beasts and trees of the multiplicity of herbes and plants of the earth by meanes of the ministry of all thy creatures which doe successiuely serue vs at due and seuerall times to ease vs thereby of that trouble and fastidiousnes which otherwise wee might be subiect too what kinde of benefits I beseeche thee and how greate and euen innumerable will they be which thou hast prepared for such as loue thee in that celestiall country where we shall behould thee face to face If thou doe vs soe much honour in this prison what wilt thou doe in thy pallace Greate and innumerable are thy workes O Lord thou King of the heauens For since these of the lower rancke which thou hast deliuered ouer to be vsed promiscuously here both by good an badd be all of them very excellently good delightfull what kinde of things shall they proue to be which thou hast onely treasured vp for them alone who are good If thy guifts be soe diuers and euen innumerable which now thou bestowest both vpon thy freinds vpon thyne enemyes how greate how innumerable how dearly sweete and how delightfull are they to be which thou wilt onely bestow vpon thy freinds If the solace be so greate which thou giuest vs in this day of our tears what wilt thou giue in that day of our espousalls If this place of exile and restraint afford such pleasures what I beseeche thee will our Country doe The eye cannot see without thee what thou hast prepared for such as loue thee For according to the greate multitude of thy magnificence soe also the multitude of that sweetenes is great which thou hast hidden vp for them that feare thee For thou O Lord my God art great thou art immense there is noe end of thy greatenes there is noe number of thy Wisedome there is noe measure of thy benignity there is neither end number nor measure of the reward which thou bestowest But as thou art great so are thy rewards great for thou thy selfe art the reward and the guift which thou bestowest vpon all such as shall valiantly haue fought thy battayles CHAP. XXII That the diuine sweetenes taketh away all the present bitternes of the world THese are those great benefits wherewith thou O Lord God the sanctifyer of thy Saints wilt satisfy and remoue the want of thy hungry children For thou art the hope of the desperate the comforte of the desolate thou art that very crowne of hope which is adorned with the glory prepared for such as ouercome Thou art the eternall satiety of such as haue bene allmost starued and thou art to be bestowed vpon such as hunger after thee Thou art that euerlasting consolation who bestoweth thy selfe vpon them alone who despise the comforts of this world for that euerlasting consolation of thyne For they who looke for theyr comfort here are esteemed vnworthy of thy comforts but they who are afflicted here are comforted by thee and they who partake with thee in thy Passion shall partake with thee also in thy consolation Noe man must thinke to be comforted both in this and in the other world nor must he thinke to be in ioy both here and there but he must necessarily loose the one who will possesse the other When I consider these things O Lord my comforter my soule refuseth the comforts of this life that soe it may be held worthy of thy eternall consolations For it is high reason that any man should loose thee if he make choyse to be comforted more in any other then in thee And I beseech thee euen by thy selfe O thou supreme Truth that thou permitt me not to be comforted by any vayne consolation but that it may onely be in thee And I beg that all things may growe bitter to me that thou alone mayest appeare sweete to my soule thou who art that inestimable sweetnes whereby all bitter things are made sweete For thy sweetenes is the thing which made that torrent of stones sweete to Steuen Thy sweetenes made that burneing gridyron sweete to blessed Laurence Through thy sweetenes the Apostles went reioyceing from the Councell because they were held worthy to suffer reproach for thy Names sake Andrew went both with security and ioy to the Crosse because he hastened to taste of thy sweetenes And this sweetenes of thyne did soe fill the two Princes of the Apostles that for it the wood of the Crosse was chosen by one of them and the other was not affrayed to submitt his head to the murtheringe sword For the purchasse of this sweetenes Bartholomew sold away his very skinne And to haue a taste thereof the vndanted Iohn drunke off that poysened cupp And as soone as Peter had tasted of it he forgott all other things and cryed thus out like one who were inebriated saying O Lord it is good for vs to be here Let vs here make three Tabernacles Let vs dwell here let vs contemplate thee For we neede nothing else It is enough for vs O Lord to see thee It is enough saith he to be satiated with soe great delight And the reason was this Because he had tasted some one dropp of diuine sweetenes all other sweetenes was lothed by him What then shall wee thinke that he would haue sayd if he had once tasted of the great multitude of the sweetenes of thy diuinity which thou hast hidden vp for them that feare thee That Virgin had also tasted of this vnspeakeable sweetenes of thyne of whome wee read that she went topp full of ioy and glory to the prison as if she had bene inuited to some marriadge Feast And of this I suppose he also had tasted who sayd That the multitude of that sweetenes of thyne O Lord was great which thou haddest hidden vp for them that feare thee and who also aduised men thus Taste and see how sweete our Lord is For this is that beatitude O Lord our God which wee expect by the guift of thy hand for which wee fight as in a warfare vnder thee O Lord for which wee are mortifyed to thy honour all the day long that at last wee may liue to thee in that life of thine CHAP. XXIII That all our hope and
thou be my God or noe And it answered also thus with a loud voyce I am not thy God but I am by him He made mee whom thou seekest in mee Seeke him aboue mee for he gouerneth mee who made thee By the question which I aske of these inanimate creatures I meane nothing but a profound consideration of them and by my sayeing that they make such or such an answere I meane but the attestation which in in they re seuerall kindes they make of God For they all cry out in this manner it is God who made vs. For as the Apostle saith The inuisible things of God are discerned and vnderstood by considering the creatures of this world Then I returned to my selfe and I entered into my selfe and sayd who art thou And I answered my selfe thus A man rational and mortall And I begun to discusse what this might be and I sayd Whence cometh such a liueing creature O Lord my God VVhence but from thee who madest me not I my selfe VVho art thou then by whome I liue thou by whome all things liue VVho art thou Thou O Lord art my true God and onely Omnipotent and eternall and incomprehensible and immense who euer liuest and nothing dyeth in thee for thou art immortall and dost inhabite eternity Thou art admirable in the eyes of Angells vnspeakable inscrutable and vnnameable thou art the true and liueing God terrible and powerfull admittinge in thy selfe nether beginning nor end but being both the beginning and end of all things who art before the first ages and before the very first beginnings of them all Thou art my God and the Lord of all those good things which thou hast created and with thee doe stand the causes of all things which are stable yea and the beginning of all things which in themselues be mutable are yet and doe remayne immutable with thee And the reasons of all things not onely which are eternall and rationall but euen of such as are temporary and irrationall doe yet liue eternally with thee tell O my God this humble seruant of thyne tell ô mercifull God this miserable creature of thine whence groweth such a creature as man but from thee O God Is man perhaps of skill enough to make himself Is his beeing and liueing deriued from any roore but thee Art not thou the supreme beeing from whome all beeing doth proceede For whatsoeuer is is of thee and nothing is without thee Art not thou that fountayne of life from which all life doth flowe for whatsoeuer liueth liues by thee and without thee nothing liues Therefore thou ô Lord diddest make all things and now do I aske who made mee Thou ô Lord diddest make mee without whome nothing was made Thou art my maker and I am thy worke I giue thee thankes ô Lord my God by whome I liue and by whome all things liue for haueing made mee I giue thee thankes ô thou my framer because thy hands haue made and faschioned mee I giue thee thankes ô thou my light because thou hast illuminated mee and I haue found both thee and my selfe where I found my selfe there I knewe my selfe where I found thee there I knewe thee where I knewe thee there thou didest illuminate mee I giue thee thankes O thou my light because thou hast illuminated mee But what is that which I sayd when I affirmed I knewe thee Art not thou God incomprehensible and immense the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who onely possessest immortality and dost inhabite an inaccessible light whome noe man hath euer seene or can see Art not thou that hidden God of inscrutable Maiesty the onely perfect knower and admirable contemplator of thy selfe who did euer perfectly knowe that which he neuer sawe and thou hast sayd in thy truth Noe man shall see mee and liue Thy Apostle did also say in the Truth Noe man did euer see God VVho hath therefore knowen that which he neuer sawe Thy Truth also it selfe hath sayd Noe man knoweth the Sonne but the Father and noe man knoweth the Father but the Sonne The Holy Trinity is perfectly knowen to it selfe alone and that knowledge farre passeth the vnderstanding of man VVhat is therefore that which I sayd I who am a man made all of vanity in saying I knowe thee For who knoweth thee but thou thy selfe For thou alone art God Omnipotent superlaudable and superglorious and superexalted and supreme and thou art named superessentiall in these most holy and most diuine Scriptures Because thou dost exceede all essence which is intelligibile or intellectuall and sensible And thou art knowen to be aboue all the names which can be named and that not onely in this world but in the future superessentially and superintelligibly Because by this hidden and superessentiall diuinity thou doest dwell within thy selfe inaccessibly and inscrutably beyond all created reasō vnderstanding and essence VVhere there is an inaccessible brightnes an inscrutable vnspeakable and incomprehensible light to which noe other light arryues because it it beleeued to bee incontemplable and inuisible and superrationall and superintelligible and superinaccessible superunchaungeable and superincommunicable which noe Angell euer did see or euer shall be able to see perfectly This is that heauen of thine O Lord that heauen of the heauens that supersecret superintelligibile superrationall and superessentiall light whereof it is sayd the heauen of the heauens to our Lord. The heauen of the heauens in respect whereof these other materiall heauens are but a kinde of earth because that former heauen is superadmireably exalted aboue all materiall heauene and the Empireall heauen it self is but as earth in respect of it For this is that heauen of the heauens to our Lord because it is not knowen by any but by our Lord to which noe men ascendeth but he who descended from heauen because noe man knoweth the Father but the Sonne and the Holy Spirit of them both and noe man knoweth the Sonne but the Father and the Holy Spirit of them both Thou O Trinity art entirely knowen to thy self alone Holy Trinity truly superadmireable superinessable superinscrutable superinaccessible superincomprehensible superintelligible superessentiall and superessentially surpassing all sense and reason all vnderstanding all intelligence all essence euen of the most supercelestiall mindes which it is wholy impossible euen for the Spirit of Angells to speake of or to knowe it or to vnderstand it or euen to thinke perfectly thereof How therefore haue I knowen thee O Lord my God who art most high ouer all the earth and aboue all the heauens whome nether Cherubin nor Seraphin doe exactly knowe but they re faces are vayled with the wings of theyr contemplation before him who sitteth vpon that high Imperiall Throne cryeing out and sayeing Holy Holy Holy Lord God of hoasts The Earth is full of thy glory As for thy Prophet he was all in trembling and he sayd Woe be vnto mee for I haue held my peace because I am a man of polluted
and where that fountayne of life is and that inaccessible light and that peace of God which passeth all vnderstanding There doe wee adore and belieue thee O Iesus Christ to be true God and man confessing that thou hast God for thy Father and that from heauen wee expect thee to come as Iudge in the end of the world to iudge the quicke and the dead that thou mayest render eyther reward or punishment to all men eyther good or badd according to those workes which they shall haue wrought in this life that soe they may be eyther in rest or eternall misery For all those creatures who haue receiued a humane soule into that flesh which here they haue carryed about them shall rise at that day in the voyce of thy strength to the end that the whole man may receyue eyther glory or torments according to his merits Thou art that life and resurrection it selfe whom wee expect to be our Sauiour Iesus Christ our Lord who will reforme this poore meane body of ours by conformeing it to the body of his clarity I haue knowen thee also to be true God O thou one holy Spirit of the Father and the Sonne proceding iointly from them both to be consubstantiall and eternall with the Father and the Sonne to be our Paraclete and Aduocate who diddest also descend in the shape of a doue vpon the same God Iesus Christ our Lord and diddest appeare vpon the Apostles in tongues of fyre who also from the beginning hast taught all the elect Saints of God by the gifte of thy grace and hast opened the mouth of the Prophets that they might relate wounderful things of the Kingdome of God who together with the Father the Sonne art adored and glorifyed by all the Saints of God Amongst whome I also who am the sonne of thy handmayd doe glorify thy name with my whole harte because thou hast illuminated mee For thou art that reall light that light which tells vs truth the fyre of God the Doctour of soules the very Spirit of Truth which teacheth vs all truth by thy vnction without which it is impossible for vs to please God For thou thy self art God of God and light of light proceeding from the Father of lights and from his Sonne our Lord Iesus Christ after an ineffable manner with whome thou being coequall and coeternall art glorifyed and dost raigne ioyntly with them superessentially in the essence of the same Trinity I haue knowen thee my one liueing and true God the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghost three in persons but one in essence whome I confesse adore and glorify with my whole harte as my onely true Holy immortall inuisible vnchaungeable and vnscrutable God that one Light one Sunne one bread one Life one Good one Beginning one End one Creatour of heauen and earth by whome all things liue by whome all things subsist by whome all things are gouuerned ordered and quickened which are in heauē on the earth and vnder the earth and besides whome there is noe God either in heauen or in earth I haue knowen thee by thy faith wherewith thou hast inspired mee O thou my light and the sight of myne eyes O Lord my God the hope of all the ends of the earth the Ioy which doth recreat my youth and the good which strēgtheneth my age For in thee O Lord do all my bones excessiuely reioyce and say O Lord who is like to thee Who amongst the Gods is like thee O Lord. Not they who are made by the hands of men but thou by whome the hands of men are made The Idolls of the Gentiles are gold and siluer the worke of mens hands But soe is not the maker of men All the Gods of the nations are Deuills but our Lord made the heauens and this Lord is God As for those Gods who made not heauen and earth let them perish both from heauen and earth But let heauen and earth blesse that God who made heauen and earth CHAP. XXXIII Of the Confession of our owne basenes WHo O Lord is like thee among the Gods Who is like thee O thou who art magnificent in thy sanctity who art terrible laudable and doeing wonderfull things Too late I come to knowe thee O thou true light too late am I come to knowe thee But there was a greate and darke cloude before these vayne eyes of myne soe that I could not see the sunne of Iustice and the light of truth I was wrapped vp in darkenes my selfe being the childe of darkenes and this darkenes of myne I loued because I did not knowe the light I was blinde and I loued blindenes and by darkenes I walked on to further darkenes Who brought me out from thence where I blinde creature was sitting in darkenes and in the shadow of death who tooke mee by the hand and led me out VVho was he that did illuminate mee I sought not him but he sought me I called not vpon him and he cryed out vpon mee But who is he that did all this It is thou O Lord my God the Father of mercyes and the God of all consolations it is thou O holy Lord and my God whome I confesse with my whole harte giueinge thankes to thy Name I sought not thee but I was sought by thee I inuoked not thee and thou calledest mee Thou calledst mee by thine owne Name thou diddest thunder thus downe into the inward eare of my harte with this mighty voyce Let Light be made and light was made and that greate cloud flew away that darke thicke cloud was dissolued which had closed vp myne eyes And I sawe thy light and I knew thy voyce and I sayd O Lord that thou indeed art my God Who hast drawen mee out of darkenes and out of the shadow of death and thou hast called me into thy admireable light and behold I see Thankes be giuē to thee O thou who art the Illuminator of my soule And I looked backe and sawe the darkenes wherein I had bene and that profound blacke pitt wherein I had lyen and I did all quake and shiuer and I said Woe woe be to that darkenes wherein I lay Woe woe be to that blindenes wherin I was not able to see the light of heauen VVoe woe to that former ignorance of myne when I had noe knowldege of thee O Lord. But I giue thee thanks O thou my illuminator and deliuerer because thou hast illuminated mee and I haue knowen thee Yet still I am come too late to knowe thee O thou antient Truth too late I am come to knowe thee O thou eternall Truth Thou wert in the light and I in darkenes and I knew thee not because I could not be illuminated without thee nor indeede without thee is there any light at all CHAP. XXXIV A consideration of the diuine Maiestie O Thou holy of holyes thou God of inestimable Maiestie the God of God and the Lord of Lords who art admirable inexplicable
iniustice is great I confesse it but farr greater is the Iustice of my Redeemer For as much as God is Superior to man so much is my malice inferior to his goodnes both in quantity and quality For in what hath man sinned wherin the Sonne of God being made Man hath not redeemed him What pride was able to swell so highe as that so great humility would not be able to beate it downe What dominion of death could be so absolute which the torment of the Crosse indured by the Sone of God will not destroy Infaillibly O my God if the faults of a sinfull man and the grace of him who redeemed them be putt into an equall ballance the East will not be found so farr distant from the west nay the lowest parte of hell will not be found so farr distant from the highest pich of heauen as they two will be Now therfore O thou most excellent Creator of light pardon my faults through the immense labours of thy beloued Sonne Lett now I beseech thee his piety propitiate for my impiety his modesty for my peruersity his meekenes for my rudenes his humility for my pride his patience for my impatiēce his benignity for my harshnes his obedience for my disobedience his tranquillity for my vnquietnesse his sweetenes for my bitternesse his mildnesse for my anger and let his charity ouerworke my cruelty CHAP. IX Of the inuocation of the Holy Ghost O Loue of that diuine power the Holy communication of the Omnipotent Father and of the most blessed Sonne O thou Omnipotent Holy Ghoste the most sweete comforter of the afflicted slipp thou downe euen very now by thy puissant vertue into the most secrett corners of my hart and by the splendor of thy cleere light illuminate ô thou deere dweller in our soules these darke retreyts of our neglected habitations and by thy visitation and by the abundance of thy dewe from heauen make my soule growe fruitfull which by reason of so longe a drought is all deformed and decayed Wound thou the most retyred parts of this inward man with the darts of thy loue and inflame and pearce the very marrowe of my dull hart with those healthfull fires of thine And by the flame of thy holy feruour illuminate thou and feed the very interiour both of my whole body and minde Giue me once to drink of the torrent of thy delights that now I may noe more haue a minde so much as euen to taste of the pestiferous sweetnesse of wordly things Iudge me ô Lord and discerne my cause from all wicked people and teach me to doe thy will for thou art my God I beleeue therfore that whomesoeuer thou dost inhabite thou dost build vp a dwellinge place in him both for the Father and the Sonne Blessed is he who shall arriue to intertayne thee because by thee both the Father the Sonne will remaine with him Come come euen now O thou moste benigne Comforter of all woefull soules Thou who protectest them when they haue most need and art their helper in tribulation Come ô thou clenser of sinns and curer of wounds Come ô thou strength of the weake ô thou who stayest such as are falling Come ô thou teacher of the humble and distroyer of the proude Come ô deare Father of Orphants and fauorable Iudge of widowes Come thou hope of the poore thou cherisher of such as fainte Come thou propitious starr of such as sayle thou hauen against the danger of shipwrack Come ô thou excellent ornament of such as liue the onely helpe of such as dye Come ô most holy Spiritt Come and haue mercy on me make me fitt for thy self condiscend to me with pitty that my meanenesse may growe pleasing to thy greatnesse and my weakenes to thy strength Accordinge to the multitude of thy mercyes through Iesus Christe my Sauiour who with the Father doth liue ad reigne in thy vnity for euer and euer Amen CHAP. X. The Prayer of the Seruant of God conceauing humbly of himselfe I Knowe O Lord I knowe and I confesse that I am not worthy that thou shouldest loue me but yet at least it is certaine that thou art not vnworthy to be beloued by me It is true that I am vnworthy to serue thee but it is also true that thou art not vnworthy to be serued by thy Creatures Giue me therfore somewhat O Lord of that which maketh thee so worthy and so I shall growe worthy who am vnworthy Make me cease from sinn by what meanes thou wilt to the end that I may serue thee as I ought Grant that I may so addresse and order and end my life that I may sleepe in peace and repose in thee Grant that in the end the sleepe of death may receiue me with rest rest with securiry and security with eternity Amen CHAP. XI A Prayer to the blessed Trinity WE confesse to thee with our whole hart and with our mouth we praise and blesse thee O God the Father who art vnbegotten and thee O God the Sonne who art the onely begotten and thee O God the holy Ghoste who art the Paraclete To thee O holy and indeuiduall Trinity be glory for all eternityes Amen CHAP. XII A Confession of the Omnipotency and Maiesty of God O Supreame Trinity O thou sole power vndeuided Majesty O God of ours O Omnipotent God I confesse to thee who am the vnworthyest of thy seruāts and the weakest of thy mēbers I cōfesse to thee in thy Church and I giue thee honor by offering thee a due sacrifice of praise according to that little power and skill which thou haste vouchsafed to affoord me thy miserable creature And because I haue no external presents which I can make to thee therfore these desires and vowes of seruice and praise which by the guift of thy mercy are in me behold how with an vnfained faith and with a pure conscience I offer them to thee not onely with a good will but with a hart which is full of triūph and ioy I beleeue therfore with my whole hart and I confesse with my mouth O thou Kinge of heauen ad Lord of earth that thou the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghoste art in Persons three and in Substance one that thou art God Omnipotent of one simple incorporeall inuisible and vncircumscribed nature That there is nothing either aboue thee or belowe thee or greater then thou but that thou art sublymely and absolutely perfect whithout the least deformity Great without quantity good without quality eternall yet wholly without Tyme That thou hast life without death that thou art strong without any weakenesse true without falshoode euery where present without being scituated any where filling all things yet without any extension occurringe euery where yet without any crossinge or contradiction Transcending all things without Motion remaneinge in all things without Station creatinge all things without looseinge or wantinge any thing and ruleinge all things without
labour Giueinge a beginninge to all things thy selfe haueinge noe beginninge makeing all things changeable beinge yet vnchangeable in thy selfe being infinite in thy greatenesse Omnipotent in thy power souuereigne in thy goodnesse inestimable in thy wisdome terrible in thy decrees iust in thy iudgements secret in thy thoughts true in thy wordes holy in thy workes plentifull in thy mercyes Towards sinners thou art most patiēt towards penitents thou art most pittifull Thou art euer the same eternall sempiternall immortall vnchangeable God whome neither space can dilate nor littlenesse of place can streighten nor any receptacle can keepe in or constraine nor the will vary nor partiality corrupt nether doe sad things afflict thee nor ioyfull things transport thee From whome neither forgetfullnes takes any thinge neither doth memory restore any thing neither doe things past passe away nor future things succeed To whome neither the first gaue beginninge nor the continuance of tyme increase nor shall any accident giue it any end But thou liuest for all eternity both before and in and through all aages And lett immortal praise and eternall glory and souuereigne power and supreame honor and a Kingdome Empire for all eternity remaine with thee through those infinite vnwearied and immortall ages of ages Amen CHAP. XIII How God the Father vouchsafed to helpe mankinde and of the Incarnation of the worde HItherto O Omnipotent God the beholder searcher of my hart I haue confessed the Omnipotency of thy Maiesty and the maiesty of thy Omnipotency But now as I beleeue with the hart to Iustice so will I confesse before thee with the mouth to saluation in what sort thou haste beene pleased at the end of many ages to releiue the misery of mankinde Thou O God and our onely Father wert neuer to be sent any whither But of the Sonne the Apostle writeth thus When the fullnes of tyme was come God sent his Sonne When he saith sent he doth sufficiently showe that then he came sent into this world when being borne of the euer B. Virgin Mary he became and appeared true and perfect man in flesh But what is that which that cheife of all the Euangelistes saith He was in the world and the world was made by him He was sent thither in his Humanity who was euer and is there by his Diuinity Now that this Mission is the worke of the whole blessed Trinity I confesse with my whole hart and mouth But how then didst thou loue vs O thou holy and good Father how much didst thou loue vs O most deare Creator who didst not euen spare thyne owne Sonne but didst deliuer him vp for vs wretched Creatures He was subiect to thee euen vnto the death and that the death of the Crosse takeinge the hand-writinge of our sinns and nailinge it to the same Crosse He crucified also sinn it selfe and killed death He who onely is free amongst the dead haueing power both to lay downe his life for vs and afterward to take it vp againe Hence was he both the conquerer and Sacryfice And therfor the Conquerer because the sacryfice for vs To thee he was the Preist and the Sacrifice and therfore the Preist because the Sacrifice Most iustly haue I a strong hope in him that thou for his sake who sitteth at thy right hand and is continually interceedinge for vs wilt cure all our languishing diseases For my infirmityes O Lord are great and many great they are and many The Prince of this world hath much to say against me I knowe and cōfesse it yet deliuer me I beseeche thee by that Redeemer of mine who sitteth at thy right hand in whome he was able to finde none of his malice By him I beseeche thee to iustify me by him who comitted noe sinn nor was there any guile found in his mouth I beseeche thee by that head of ours in whome there is noe one little spott deliuer this member which yet is his how weake and poore soeuer it be Deliuer me I beseeche thee from my sinns my vices my faults and my negligence Fill me with thy holy vertues make me of most innocent conuersation And grant for thy holy names sake that I may continue euen to the very end in those good workes which thou commaundest according to thy holy will CHAP. XIV Of the confidence which a soule ought to haue in our Lord Iesus in his Passion I Could easily haue despaired through the excesse of my greiuous sinns and of my infinite negligences if thy word O God had not become flesh and had not dwelt amongst vs. But now I dare not despaire because when we were enemyes we were reconciled by the death of thy Sonne how much more now we beinge already reconciled shall we be saued by him For all the hope and stay of all my confidence doth consist in that pretious blood of his which was shed for vs and for our saluation In him doe I take breath and hopeing firmely in him I earnestly desire to come to thee not haueinge any iustice of mine owne but that which is in thy Sonne our Lord Iesus-Christe We doe therfore thank thee O most Clement and benigne louer of mankind who when we were not didst powerfully create vs by Iesus-Christe thy Sonne our Lord. And whē we were lost by our owne fault thou didst admirably deliuer and recouer vs. I giue thankes to thy mercy many thanks doe I giue thee with the whole affection of my hart who through that vnspeakable charity wherewith thou didst vouchsafe with strange goodnes to loue vs miserable and vnworthy Creatures didst send thyne onely begotten Sonne from thyne owne bosome for our common good so to saue vs sinners who were then the sonns of wrath I giue thee thanks for his holy Incarnation and Natiuity and for his glorious Mother of whom he vouchsafed to assume flesh for vs and our saluation that as he was true God of God so he might also be true man of man I thanke thee for his Crosse and Passion for his death and Resurrection for his Ascension into heauen and for his seat of Maiesty at thy right hand For vpō the fortieth day after his Resurrection ascendinge aboue all the heauens whilest his Disciples were lookeing on and being seated at thy right hand he did according to his promisse powre forth the Holy Ghoste vpon the Children of adoption I thank thee for that most sacred effusion of his most pretious Blood wherby we are redeemed and withall for that Sacred and Holy and quickninge Mistery of his Body and Blood which dayly we eate and drinke in the Church and wherby we are washed and sanctified and made partakers of that one supreame diuinity I thank thee for this admirable and vnspeakable charity of thine wherby thou hast so loued and saued vs vnworthy creatures by that onely and beloued Sonne of thine For thou didst so loue the world as to giue thy onely begotten Sonne that euery one who beleeued
commerce O admirable and for euer to beloued benignity of the diuine mercy We were not worthy to be seruants and yet behold we are made the Sonnes of God Nay we are the heires of God and coheirs of Christ Whence came this to vs and who brought vs to this But I beseeche thee O thou most mercifull God the Father by this inestimable goodnes and piety and charity of thine make vs worthy of the many and great promisses of thy Sonne our Lord Iesus-Christe imploy thy strength and confirme that in vs which thou hast wrought Perfect that which thou haste begun that we may deserue to attayne to the fulnesse of thy mercy Inable vs by thy Holy Spiritt to vnderstand deserue and reuerence with due honor this great mystery of piety which is manifested in the flesh iustified in the spirit hath appeared to Angells is preached to Gentiles is beleeued in the world and is assumed to glory CHAP. XVII Of the thanks which a man owes to God for the benefitt of Redemption O How deepely are we thy debters O Lord our God being redeemed by so high a price being saued by so rich a guift being assisted by so glorious a benefitt How much art thou to be feared loued blessed praised honored and glorified by vs miserable creatures whom thou haste so loued saued sanctifyed and exalted For to thee doe we owe all our power all our beeing and all our knowledg And who hath any thinge which is not thyne Thou art our Lord and our God from whom all things proceed For thy selfe and for thy holy Name giue vs So me part of thy heauenly riches that by meanes of those blessings and guifts of thyne we may serue please thee in truth and that by way of returne we may dayly render thee all due praise for so many benefits of thy mercy Nor can we serue thee or praise thee by any other meanes then by thy owne guift For euery good grace and euery perfect guift is from aboue descending from thee the Father of lights wiht whom there is noe change nor so much as any shadow of mutability O Lord our God! deare God good God Omnipotent God vnspeakable God whose nature cannot be circumscribed God the ordeyner of all things the Father of our Lord Iesus-Christe who diddest send the same beloued Sonne of thyne our most sweete Lord out of thy bosome for our vniuersall profitt to take our life vpon him that he might bestowe his life vpon vs and that he might be perfect God of thee the Father and perfect Man of his Mother all God and all Man and one and the same Christe eternall and temporall immortall and mortall Creator and creature stronge weake triumphant and yet ouercome the nourse and the creature which is nourished the Pastor the sheepe he that dyed for a tyme and dyed in time and yet is liueinge for all eternity He promiseinge to such as loued him that they should be prouided for said thus to his Disciples What soeuer you shall aske the Father in my name he wil giue it to you By this Supreame Sacrifice and true Preist and good Pastor who offered himselfe in Sacrifice to thee laying downe his life for his flocke by him I beseech thee who sitteth at thy right hand and interceedeth for vt being our Redeemer and Aduocate before thy pitty and goodnesse I beseech thee I say O God the most deere and benigne louer of mankinde that thou wilt giue me grace with the same Sonne of thyne and the Holy Ghoste to praise and glorify thee in all things with great contrition of hart and a fountaine of teares with much reuerence and trembling because theirs whose the substance is theirs also are all the accessaryes therof But because the body which is corrupted doth depresse the soule I beseeche thee to rowse vp my dullnes by thy vertue and make me perseuere with strength in thy Commaundements and praises day and night Grant that my hart may wax warme within me and that whilest I am in meditation the fire may burne And because thy onely Sonne himselfe did say No man cometh to me vnlesse the Father who sent me drawe him and no man cometh to the Father but by me I beseech and humbly pray thee be thou euer draweing me to him that at last he may bring me thither to thee where he is sittinge at thy right hand where there is an eternall life eternally happy where there is perfect loue and noe feare where there is an euerlastinge day and one spirit of them all where there is certaine and supreame security and secure tranquillity and serene alacrity and sweet felicity and happy eternity and eternall beatitude and a blessed praise and vision of thee which neuer ends where thou with him and he with thee and both in the communion of the same Holy Ghoste doe sempiternally liue and being God dost reigne for euer and for euer Amen CHAP. XVIII A Prayer to Christe our Lord. O Christ my God my hope Sweete louer of mankinde Light life way health And beauty most refin'd Behould those things which thou Did'st suffer vs to saue The chaynes the wounds the Crosse The bitter death the graue Riseing within three dayes From conquering death and hell By thy Disciples seene Reforminge mindes so well Vpon the fortieth day Climeing the Heauens soe high Thou liuest now and thou Shalt raigne eternally THou art my liueing and true God my holy Father my deare Lord my greate Kinge my good shepheard my onely instructor my best helper my most beautifull louer my liueinge breade my Eternall Preist my guide into my country my true light my holy sweetnes my right way my excellent wisdome my pure simplicity my peaceable concord my safe custody my good portion my euerlasting saluation my great Mercy my inuincible patience my imaculate Sacrifice my holy Redemption my firme hope my perfect charity my true Resurrection my eternall life my excessiue ioy and most blessed Vision which is for euer to remaine I pray thee I begg of thee I beseech thee that I may walke by thee passe on by thee and repose in thee who art the way the truth and the life without whome no man cometh to the Father For thou art he whome I desire O thou most sweete most beautifull Lord O thou splendor of thy Fathers Glory who sittest aboue the Cherubins and beholdest from thence the most profound Abysses which are belowe thou light which declareth truth illuminateing light light which neuer leaues to shine whome the Angells desire to behold Loe my hart is before thee disperse the darknes therof that by the clearnes of thy loue it may be yet more fully strucken and beaten through with light Giue thy selfe to me O my God restore thy selfe to me Behold I loue thee and if it be to little make me loue thee more I cannot measure out to know how much of my loue is wanting to thee of that which ought to make it
is become of thyne ancient mercyes wilt thou be anggry with me for euer Be thou appeased I beseeche thee and haue mercy on me and doe not turne thy face from me thou who for the redeeminge of me didst not turne thy face from such as did reproch and spitt at thee I confesse that I haue sinned and that my conscience calls for nothing but damnation and my pennance wil not serue for satisfaction but yet it is certayne that thy mercy doth surpasse all sinn Doe not I beseeche thee most deer Lord marite vp my wickednes against me to the end that thou maist enter into exact account with thy seruant but blott out my iniquity according to the multitude of thy mercyes woe be vnto me miserable creature when the day of Iugdment shall come and the booke of consciences shall be opened and it shal be said to me Behold the man and his workes what shall I doe then O Lord my God when the heauens will reueale my iniquityes and when the earth will rise vp against me Beholde I shal be able to make noe answeare but my head hanging downe through confusion I shall stand trembling and all confounded before thee Vvoe is me wretched creature what shal I say I will cry out to thee O Lord my God! For why should I consume my selfe with holding my peace and yet if I speake my greife will not be appeased But yet howsoeuer if I hold my peace I am inwardly tormented with extrcame bitternes Lament O my soule as the Widowe vseth to doe ouer the husband of her youth Howle thou miserable creature and cry out because thy spouse who is Christ our Lord hath dismissed thee O thou wrathe of the Omnipotent doe no thou rush downe vpon me for I am notable to receaue thee It is not in all the power I haue to be able to endure thee Haue mercy on me least I despaire and grant that I may repose in hope and if I haue committed that for which thou maiste condemne me yet thou haste not lost that for which thou art wont to saue sinfull men Thou O Lord desirest not the death of a sinner nor dost thou reioyce in the perdition of dyinge soules nay thou dyedst thy selfe to the end that dead men might liue and thy death hath killed the death of sinners And if they liued by thy death I beseech thee O Lord that I by the meanes of thy life may not dy Send forth thy hand from on highe and take me out of the hand of mine enemyes that they may not reioyce ouer me and say We haue deuoured him Who can distrust of thy mercy O deer Iesus since thou didest redeeme vs and reconcile vs to God by thy Blood when we were thine enemies Behold how being protected vnder the shadowe of thy mercy I come runninge to thy Throne of glory askinge pardon of thee and crying out and knocKinge till thou take pitty of me For if thou haste called vs to take the benefit of thy pardon when we sought it not how much more shall we obteyne it when we seeke it Doe not O most swete Iesus remember thy Iustice against this sinner but be mindfull of thy benignity towards thy creature Be not mindfull of thy wrathe against him who is guilty but be mindfull of thy mercy towards him who is in misery Forget the proude wretch who prouoketh thee and take pitty of that miserable man who inuoketh thee For what is Iesus but a Sauiour and therefore O Iesus I beseeche thee by thy selfe rise vp to help me and say vnto my soule I am thy saluation I presume much O Lord vpon thy goodnes because thy selfe teacheth me to aske to seeke and to knocke and therefor being admonished by that voyce of thyne I doe aske seeke and knocke And thou O Lord who biddest me aske make me receaue thou whoe aduisest me to seeke grant that I may finde thou who teachest me to knocke open to me who am knockinge And eonfirme me who am weake reduce me who am lost raise me to life who am dead and vouchsafe in thy good pleasure so to gouerne my sences my thoughts words and deeds that from hence forth I may serue thee and liue to thee and deliuer my selfe wholy vp into thy hand I know O my Lord that for thy onely haueinge made me I owe thee all my selfe and in that thou wert made Man for me and didest redeeme me I should owe so much more to thee then my selfe if I had more as thou art greater then he for whome thou gauest thy selfe But behold I haue no more nor yet can I giue thee what I haue without thee but doe thou take me and drawe me to thy selfe to thy imitation and loue as already I am thyne by creation and condition thou who euer liuest and reignest CHAP. XL. A profitable Prayer O Lord God Omnipotent who art Trine and One who art allwayes in all things who wert before all things and who art euer to be in all things God to whome be praise for euer to thee doe I commend for this day and for all my life herafter my soule my body my sight my hearinge my taste my smell and my touch All my thoughts affections speaches and actions all my exteriors and interiors my sense my vnderstanding and my memory my faith my hope and my perseuerance into the hands of thy power by day and night and in all houers and momenta Hearken to me O Holy Trinity and conserue me from all euill from all scandall and from all mortall sinne from all ambushes and vexation of Deuills and from all our enemyes visible and inuisible by the Prayers of the Patriarches by the Meritts of the Prophets by the suffrages of the Apostles by the constancy of the Martyrs by the Chastity of the Virgins and by the intercession of all the Saints who haue been pleasing to thee since the beginning of the World Expell from me all boasting of minde increase compounction of hart diminish my pride and perfect thou true humility in me Stirr me vp to shed tears mollify my hard and stony hart deliuer my soule O Lord from all the trecheryes of myne enimyes and conserue me in thy will Teach me O Lord to doe thy will for thou art my God Giue me O Lord perfect seesing and vnderstanding that I may be able to comprehend thy profound benignity Giue me grace to aske that which it may delight thee to heare and may be expedient for me to obteyne Giue me tears which may rise from my whole hart wherby the chaynes of my sinns may be dissolued Hearken O my Lord and my God hearken to what I aske and vouchsafe to grant it If thou despise me I perish if thou reguard me I liue if thou looke for innocency at my hands I am dead already and I stinke if thou looke vpon me with mercy though I stinke yet thou raisest me out of the graue Put that farr from me which thou
hatest in me and ingrafte in me the spiritt of chastity continency that whatsoeuer I may chance to aske of thee yet in the very askeing of it I may not offend thee Take from me that which hurts and giue me that which helpes Giue me O Lord some Phisicke whereby my woundes may be cured O Lord giue me thy feare compunction of hart humility of minde and a pure conscience Grant O Lord that I may euer maintayne fraternal charity and that I may not forget mine owne sinne nor busy my selfe with those of other men Pardon my soule my sinns my crymes visite me who am weake cure me who am sicke strengthen me who am languishing and reuiue me who am dead Giue me a hart O Lord which may feare thee a will which may loue thee a minde which may vnderstand thee eares which may heare thee and eyes which may see thee Haue mercy on me O God haue mercy on me and looke downe on me from that holy seat of thy Maiesty and illuminate the darknes of my hart with the beame of thy splendor Giue me O Lord discretion that I may discerne betweene good and bade and grant that I may haue a vigilant minde O Lord I begg of thee the remission of all my sinns from whome and by whome propitiation may be granted me in the tyme of my necessity and of my greatest streights O holy and immacutate Virgin Mary the Mother of God the Mother of our Lord Iesus Chirste vouchsafe to interceede of me with him whose Temple thou deseruedst to be made Holy Michaell holy Gabriel holy Raphael O you holy Quires of Angells and Archangells of Patriarches and Prophetts of Apostles and Euangelists Martys and Confessors Preists and Leuitts Monckes and Virgins and of all the Saints I presume to begg of you hy him who chose you and by the contemplation of whome you are in such ioy that you will vouchsafe to make supplication to God himselfe for me that I may obteyne to be deliuered from the iawes of the Deuill and from eternall death Vouchsafe O Lord to grant me eternall life according to thy Clemency and most benigne mercy O Lord Iesus Christe grant concord to Preists and to Kings Bishopps and Princes who iudge iustly giue tranquillity and peace O Lord I beseech thee for the whole holy Catholike Church for men and woemen for Religious and secular people for all the gouernors of Christians and all such as beleeuing in thee doe labour for the holy loue of thee that they may obteyne perseuerance in theyr good workes Grant O Lord O Eternall Kinge chastity to Virgins continency to such as are dedicated to thee O Almighty God sanctimony to maried follâ—es pardon to sinners releife to orphans and widowes protection to the poore safe arriual to such as are in iourney comfort to such as mourne euerlasting rest to the faithfull soules departed a safe hauen to such as are at Sea to thy best seruants that they may continue in their vertue to them who are but indifferently good that they may growe better to them who are wicked and sinfull as to me poore wertch that they may quickly reforme themselues O most sweete and most mercyfull Lord Iesus Christe the Sonne of the liueinge God the Redeemer of the world I confesse my selfe to be a miserable sinner in all things and aboue all men but thou also O most mercifull and supreame Father who takest pitty vpon all doe not suffer me to become an alien from thy mercy O God thou King of Kinges who haste giuen me this truce of liueing till now grant me deuotion to reforme my selfe stirr vp in me a minde which may earnestly desire and seeke thee and loue thee aboue all things feare thee and doe thy will thou who art all euery where in Trinity and Vnity and that for euer Especially therefore I beseech thee O Lord O Holy Father who art glorious and blessed for euer that all they who remember me in their Prayers and who haue commended themselues to my vnworthy ones and who haue performed any office of charity or worke of mercy towards me and they also who are ioyned to me by kindred and by the naturall affection of flesh and blood and as well all they who are now aliue as those others who are departed may be mercifully and graciously gouerned by thee that they perish not Vouchsafe to giue succour to all the Christians who liue grant absolution with eternall rest to the faithfull who are dead And moreouer I doe in most particuler manner begg of thee O Lord thou who art Alpha and omega that when the last day and pointe of my life shall arriue thy selfe will vouchsafe to be my mercifull Iudge against that maligne accuser the Deuill and be thou my continuall defend or against the sleights of that ancient enemy of mine and make me continue in that holy heauen of thyne in the society of al the Angells and Saints thou who art blessed for euer and euer Amen CHAP. XLI A Prayer in memorie of the Passion of Christe our Lord. O Lord Iesus Christe my Redemption my mercy and my saluation I praise thee I giue thee thanks though they carry noe proportion to thy benefits Though they be very voide of deuotion though they be leane in respect of the fatnes of that most sweete loue of thee which I desire yet such as they are not such I confesse as I owe but such as I am able to conceaue my soule is now paying to thee O thou hope of my hart and thou vertue of my soule and the life and end of all my intentions lett thy most powerfull dignity supply that which my most fainte weaknes doth endeauour And if I haue not yet deserued so much of thee as to loue thee so much as I ought yet at least I haue an earnest desire to performe the same O thou my light thou seest my conscience because O Lord all my desires are before thee And if I endeauour to doe any thing which is good it is thou who bestowest it vpon me If that be good O Lord which thou inspirest or rather because the inclination which I haue to loue thee is good grant me that which it is thy will that I should desire and grant that I may obteyne to loue thee as much as thou requirest I giue thee praise and thankes for what I haue lest otherwise thy gnift might proue vnfruitfull to me which thou hast bestowed of thyne owne free will Perfect that which to hast begunn and giue me that through thy mercy which thou madest me desire without any merit of mine Conuert O most benigne Lord my dull heauinesse into a most feruent loue of thee To this O my most mercifull Lord my prayer my memory my meditation of thy benefitts doe all tend that thou maiste kindle thy loue in me Thy goodes O Lord created me thy mercy when I was created did cleanse me from original sinn thy patience after that
innumerable creatures are still creeping creatures greate and small that is to say seuerall kindes of deuills who study nothing els day and night but how they may walke they re round seeking whome they may deuoure vnles thou deliuer them For this is that ancient Dragon who sprung vp first in that paradise of pleasure and who with his tayle drawes the third parte of the starrs of heauen after him and brings them downe to the earth he who is poyson corruptes the waters of the world that soe mē who drinke thereof may dye and who trāples vpon gold like so much durte and into whose mouth the riuer of Iordan flowes and he is growen to that presumption that he feares non at all And who shall be able to defend vs from the crushing of his teeth who shall be able to deliuer vs out of his iawes but thou O Lord who hast broken all the heades of that huge Dragon Helpe vs O Lord and spread thy wings ouer vs that soe wee may flye vnder them from the face of this dragon who persecureth vs. And doe thou defend vs by thy sheild from the push of his hornes For to this doth he direct his continuall study vpon this is his cheife desire imployed that he may deuoure the soules which thou hast created And therefore O my God wee cry out to thee deliuer vs from this daily aduersary of ours who whether wee sleepe or wake or eate or drinke or whatsoeuer els wee doe is pressing vpon vs by all meanes and by many fraudes and tricks he is addressing poysoned arrowes against vs both priuately and publikely that soe he may destroy our soules And yet O Lord soe strangely miserable are wee made as that although we see this Dragon continually comeing towards vs with his mouth wide open ready to deuoure vs yet neuertheles wee sleepe and wee are euē wanton againe in our slouth as if wee were secure before him who yet couets nothing but our destruction Our enemy that he may kill vs is continually awake and wants his sleepe and yet wee will not soe much as wake from sleepe that wee may defend our selues Behould he hath spred infinite snares before our feete and he hath stuffed all our wayes with seuerall kindes of gynnes whereby to catch our soules and who then shall be able to free himselfe He hath layd snares in riches and snares in pouerty snares in meate in drinke in pleasure in sleeping and wakeing he hath spred snares in words and in workes and in all our wayes But thou O Lord deliuer vs from the snares of the hunter and from that bitter word that wee may confesse to thee and say Blessed be our Lord who hath not giuen vs to a pray to their teeth Our soules is deliuered as a sparrow might be out of the hunters snare The snare is broken and wee are deliuered CHAP. XVII That God is the Light of iust Persons ANd thou O Lord who art my Light illuminate myne eyes that I may see and walke in thy light and not stumble vpon the snares of the enemy For who shall be able to auoyd such a multitude of snares vnles he see them and who shall be able to see them vnles he be illuminated by thy light For that father of darkenes hides all those snares in his owne darkenes that all they may be taken by them who are in his darkenes and who are the sonnes of darkenes not discerning thy light wherein whosoeuer walketh needes not feare For he who walkes by day stumbles not but he stumbles who walkes by night for the light is not in him Thou O Lord art Light thou art the light of the sonnes of light thou art the Sunne which knoweth not what belonges to setting that day wherein thy children walke without stumbling and without which all they who walke are in darkenes as being destitute of thee who art the light of the world Behould wee discouer daily that by how much the more any man is estranged from thee who art the true light so much the more intricately is he wrapped vp in the darkenes of sinne And how much the more he is in darkenes so much the lesse can he discerne the snares which are spred for him in his wayes And soe by not discerneing them he falleth often into them and is taken by them which deserues to strike vs full of horrour such a man doth not soe much as knowe that he is fallen Now he who knowes not that he hath taken a fall will care soe much the lesse to rise as he still conceiueth that he stands But thou O Lord my God thou true light of the mynde illuminate now myne eyes that I may see thee and knowe thee and not tumble headlong downe in the sight of myne enemyes For this mayne aduersary of ours doth labour euen to exterminate vs outright whilest wee the whyle begg of thee that thou wilt make him melt before our face as wax doth vpon the approach of fyre For hee O Lord is that cruell theefe first and last who tooke counsell how he might robb thee of thy glory but soe being puffed and swollen vp he burst and fell vpon his face and thou diddest precipitate him downe from that Holy Hill of thyne and from the middest of those bright stones in the middest whereof he had once beene walkeing And now O Lord my God and my life he neuer giueth ouer to persecute thy children euer since he fell And out of his hatred to thee O Mighty King he procureth to destroy thy creature which thy Omnipotent goodnes hath created according to thyne owne Image to the end that he may possesse thy glory which himselfe lost by pride But crush thou him to peeces O strong Champion before he deuoure thy lambes and illuminate vs that wee may discerne the snares which he hath prepared for vs and make vs able to escape and arryue to thee O thou ioy of Israell Thou best knowest all these things thou knowest his contentious spirit and his most stiffe neeke Nor doe I speake of these things as pretending to discouer them to thee who knowest all things and from whom noe little thought can lye hidd But make my iust complaint against this enemy of mine before the feete of thy Maiesty that so thou mayest both condemne him and saue vs thy Children Whose strength thou art This enemy of ours O Lord is full of craft and shifts nor can those intricate wayes of his be easily traced out no nor so much as the ayre of his countenāce be discerned by vs vnles we be illuminated by thee For sometimes he is here sometimes he is there Now he shewes himselfe like a lambe and then like a wolfe now like darkenes and then like light and according to the seuerall qualityes of persons according to the variety of tymes and places and according to the momentary chaunge of things he suggesteth seuerall temptations For to the end that he may deceiue
lipps But my harte hath quaked and sayd Woe be vnto me who am a man of polluted lipps because I haue not held my peace but sayd that I knewe thee And yet O Lord woe be to them who are silent concerning thee For the greatest talkers may be accounted but dumbe if they doe not speake of thee And as for me O Lord my God I will not be silent concerning thee because thou hast made mee and I haue therefore knowne thee because thou hast illuminated me But yet how haue I knowen thee I haue knowen thee in thy selfe Yet I haue no knowen thee in thy selfe as thou art to thy selfe but I haue knowen thee as thou art to mee But yet howsoeuer it is not without thee but in thee because thou art the light which hast illuminated mee For as thou art to thy selfe thou art onely knowen to thy selfe but as thou art to mee by thy mercy and grace thou art knowen to mee But what art thou vnto mee Tel me O mercifull Lord who am thy miserable seruant tell me by thy mercy what thou art to mee Say to my soule I am thy saluation Doe not hide thy face from mee lest if thou doe I dye Suffer me to speake me who am dust and ashes suffer me to speake to thy mercy For thy mercy towards mee is greate and I will presume to speake to thee though I be but dust and ashes Tell mee who am thy supplyant say O mercifull Lord to thy miserable creature say by thy mercyes what thou art to mee And thou hast thundered downe with a mighty voyce vpon the inward eare of my hart and thou hast broken through my deafenes and I haue heard thy voyce And thou hast illuminated my blindenes and I haue seene thy light and haue knowen that thou art my God It is therefore that I sayd that I haue knowen thee For I haue knowen that thou art my God I haue knowen that thou art the onely true God and Iesus Christ whome thou hast sent For thrre wat a time when I knewe thee not bu woe be to that time when I knew not tgee Woe be to that blindenes when I sawe not thee Woe be to that deafnes when a heard not thee For being blinde deafe I did rush with great deformity vpon those things which yet thou had dest made fayre and thou wert still with mee but I was not with thee And those things kept mee farre from being with thee which yet if they had not bene in thee could haue had noe beeing at all Thou diddest illuminat mee O thou light of the world and I saw thee and I loued thee And indeede noe man loueth thee but he who sees thee and noe man sees thee but he who loues thee Too late am I come to loue thee O thou beauty which art so auntient and yet so new Too late am I come to loue thee and woe be to that time when I loued thee not CHAP. XXXII A Confession of true faith I Giue thankes O thou who art my light because thou hast illuminated mee and I haue knowen thee How haue I knowen thee I haue knowen thee to be the onely liueing God and my true creatour I haue knowen thee to bee the Creator of heauen earth of all things visible and inuisible to be the true Omnipotent God immortall inuisible vncircumscribed vnlimited eternall inaccessible incomprehensible inscrutable vnchangeable immense infinite the first beginning of all both visible inuisible creatures by whome all things are made and by whome all the Elements subsist Whose Maiestie as it neuer had any beginning soe neither shall it end for all eternity I haue knowen thee to be one onely true God the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghost three Persons indeede but one essence and the same wholly simple and vndiuided nature And that the Father is of none that the Sonne is onely of the Father and that the Holy Ghost is iointly of them both euer without beginning and for euer to be without ending to be Trine and onely One and that the true Omnipotent God That thou art that one beginning of all things and the Creatour of all things both visible and inuisible spirituall and temporall who by thy Omnipotent vertue diddest in the beginning of Tyme create both the spirituall and corporall creature that is to say the Angells in heauen and the fabricke of the world and then thou madest man as being compounded both of body and soule I haue knowen thee and I doe confesse thee O God the Father to be vnbegotten and thee O God the Sonne to be begotten of the Father and thee O holy Ghost the Paraclete to be neither begotten nor vnbegotten And I beleiue with my harte to Iustice and I confesse with my mouth to saluatiō the holy and indiuiduall Trinity in three persons coequall consubstantiall and coeternall Trinity in Vnity and Vnity in Trinity I haue knowen thee the true God and our Lord Iesus Christ to be the onely begotten Sonne of God the Creatour the Sauiour and the Redeemer of mee and all mankinde whome I confesse to haue bene begotten of the Father before all ages God of God light of light true God of true God not made but begotten consubstantiall coeternall with the Father and the Holy Ghost by whome all things were made from the beginning And I beleiue firmely and confesse truely that thou O Iesus Christ the onely begotten God wert incarnate ioyntly by the holy Trinity for the saluation of man and that thou wert conceiued through the cooperation of the Holy Ghost by the perpetuall Vithin Mary and that thou wert made true man consisting of a reasonable soule and humane flesh Who being the onely begotten of God and consequently both impassible and immortall yea for the great loue wherewith thou louest vs thou being still the same sonne of God wert yet according to thy humanity made both passible mortall who being the onely sonne of God diddest voutchafe to suffer Passion and death vpon the tree of the crosse for the saluation of mankinde to the end that thou mightest deliuer vs from eternall death And being the author of light thou diddest descend to Hell where our fore-Fathers satt in darkenes And the third day being a glorious conquerer thou diddest rise vp from the dead resumeing thy sacred body which had lyen dead in the sepulchre for our sinnes and thou diddest quicken it the third day according to the scriptures that thou mightest place it at the right hand of thy Father For haueing ledd with thee out of captiuitie them whom our auntient enemy the enemy of all mankinde had captiued in Hell thou being the true Sonne of God didest ascend aboue all the heauens with the substance of our nature that is to say both with thy soule and that humaine flesh which thou haddest taken of the glorious Virgin And thou diddest surpasse all the quyers of Angels where thou sittest at the right hand of thy Father
and vnconceiuable before whome the Angelicall power of heauen doe euen shiuer whome the Thrones and Dominations doe adore and in whose presence all the Vertues of Heauen doe euen quake of whose power and Wisedome there is noe number who hast layd the foundations of the whole world vpon nothing who hast tyed vp the Sea as if it were in some skinne who art most Omnipotent most Holy and the most powerfull God ouer all the spirits of all mankinde From whose sight the heauen and earth doe fly away to whose becke all the elements are subiect let all thy creatures adore and glorify thy Name And I the Sonne of thy handmayd doe by faith bowe downe the necke of my harte vnder the feete of thy Maiestie presenting thee with thankes for that thou hast voutchsafed to illuminate mee by thy mercy True Light holy Light delightfull Light admirable Light superlaudable Light which illuminateth euery man comeing into this world and the eyes also of the Angels Behold now I see and I thanke thee for it Behold I see the light of heauen there is a beame which striketh brightly downe from the face of thy light vpon the eyes of my mynde and it filleth all the powers of my soule with ioy But O that once it might be perfected in mee Encrease I beseech thee O thou author of light encrease I beseech thee that which soe brightly striketh through vpon mee Let this light be dilated I beseech thee let it be dilated by thee What is this which I feele what fyre is this which heates any harte what fyre is this whereby my harte is stroken through with beames O fyre which euer burnest and art neuer quenched doe thou kindle mee O light which doest euer shine and art neuer darkened doe thou enlighten mee O how very fayne would I been flamed by thee O Holy fyre how sweetely doest thou heate how secretly doest thou shine and how delightfully dost thou burne Woe be to them who doe not burne by thee VVoe be to them which are not illuminated by thee O thou light which teachest truth to men illuminating all the world which is filled by the beames thereof VVoe be to those blinde eyes which see not thee thou being the sunne illuminating both heauen and earth VVoe be to those weake and daseling eyes which cannot looke on thee VVoe be to those eyes which turne themselues away from seeing truth and woe be to those eyes which doe not turne them selues away for feare least they behold vanity For eyes which are acustomed to darkenes haue not strength wherewith to behold the beames of soueraigne truth nor can they make any true iudgment of light whose habitation is wont to be in darkenes They see darkenes they allow of darkenes they loue darkenes and soe goeing from darkenes to darkenes they fall headlong and they knowe not where Miserable creatures they are who knowe not what they loose though yet more miserable are they who knowe what they loose and who yet fall with open eyes and dropp downe quicke into Hell O most blessed light which canst not be beheld but by eyes which are pure and wholly purged Blessed are the pure of harte for they shall see God Doe thou clense mee O thou clensing power cure my sight that I may contemplate thee with strong eyes For they are none but strong eyes which can looke on thee Putt away I beseech thee O thou inaccessible splendour the skales of that auntient mistynes by the beame of thy illumination that soe I may be able to looke on thee with certayne casts of my eye which may not be checked and beaten back and that I may see light in thy light I giue thee thankes O my light for behold now I see I beseech thee O Lord that it may be spred abroade by thee Vnuayle myne eyes that I may consider the wonderfull things of thy lawe thou who art wonderfull in thy Saints I giue thee thankes O my light for behold I see though as yet it be but by a representation as in a glasse But when will it be face to face when will that day of ioy and exultation arryue when I may enter into the place of that admireable Tabernacle the very house of God that so face to face I may see him who seeth mee and so my desire may be fullfilled CHAP. XXXV Of the desire and thirst of a soule towards God AS the harte desireth the fountaynes of water soe doth my soule thirst after thee O God My soule hath thirsted after thee O God who art the liueing fountayne when shall I come and appeare before thy face O thou fountayne of life thou vayne of liueing waters when shall I arriue to those waters of thy sweetnes from this barren vnhaunted and dry earth that I may see thy power and thy glory and that I may appease my thirst by the waters of thy mercy I thirst O Lord O thou fountayne of life satisfy mee for I thirst O Lord I thirst towards thee who art the liueing God When O Lord shall I approache and appeare before that face of thyne doest thou thinke that at length I shall see that day that day I say of delight and ioy that day which our Lord hath made to the end that wee may reioyce and exult therein O sweete and beautifull day which hath noe euening and whose Sunne hath nothing to doe with setting wherein I shall heare the voyce of prayse the voyce of exultation and confession wherein I shall heare this word Enter into the ioy of thy Lord enter into eternall ioy into the house of thy Lord and thy God where there are greate and vnsearcheable and wounderfull things whereof there is noe number Enter into ioy without sorrow which containeth eternall ioy where all good shall be without any kind of euill Where whatsoeuer thou wilt haue shall be and where nothing shall be which thou wilt not haue Where there will be a life which is vitall sweete amiable and eternall Where there will be noe enemy assaulting nor noe false delight allureing but a supreame and certayn security secure tranquillity a quiet ioy a ioyfull felicity a happy eternity and eternall beatitude a blessed Trinity a Trine Vnity a sole Deity a happy vision of that Deity which is the ioy of thy Lord and thy God O ioy vpon ioy ioy which excelleth all ioy without which there is noe ioy when shall I enter into thee that I may see my God who dwelleth in thee that soe I may there partake of this greate vision What is it which deteyneth mee VVoe be vnto mee because my habitation here is perlonged VVoe be vnto mee and how long shall it be sayd to mee where is thy God How long shall it be sayd to me Expect and reexpect But now what shall I expect Is it not thee O Lord my God VVee expect a Sauiour our Lord Iesus Christ who will reforme this poore meane body of ours and conforme it to
restore my selfe I make a grant of my selfe to thee through whome I am through whome I liue and through whom I haue the vse of reason I hope I trust and I place all my confidence in thee by whome I may be able to rise againe and to liue and rest It is thou whom I desire whome I loue and whome I adore and with whome I am to remayne raigne and be happie The soule which seekes not thee nor loues not thee doth loue the world and serueth sinne is a slaue to vice and is neuer quiet or secure O thou most holy God let my minde be euer performing seruice to thee let this pilgrimage of mine be euer sighing towards thee let my hart burne through the loue of thee let my soule O my God repose in thee let it contemplate thee in excesse of mind and let it singe prayses to thee in full ioy and let this be my comfort in this banishment of mine Let this minde of mine fly to the shadowe of thy winges from the scorching cogitations of this world Let this hart of mine be at a calme in thee this hart which is such a deepe Sea full of swelling waues O thou who art so rich of heauenly food thou most aboundant imparter of that spirituall celestiall satiety giue nourishment to him who is defeated with hunger gather him vp who is scattered free him who is entrald stitch him together who is torne Behold he standeth at the doore and knocks I beseech thee by those bowells of thy mercy in which thou being the Orient didst visit vs from on hygh commaund that it be opened to this miserable creature who is knocking that so with nimble feete I may enter into thee and repose in thee and be refreshed by that bread of heauen For thou art both the bread and the fountaine of life thou art the splendor of immortall light In fine thou art all those thinges wherby iust persons liue who loue thee CHAP. V. Of the Desire of a soule O God the light of those hartes which see thee and the life of those soules which loue thee the strength or vertue of their thoughts who seeke thee graunt that I may be incorporated into the holy loue of thee Come I beseech thee into my hart and inebriate it with the springing plenty of thy delights that so I may forget all worldly thinges I am ashamed and I am afflicted to find my selfe suffering such thinges as this world is doing All that which I see concerning transitory thinges makes me sorry and all that which I heare makes me sad Help me O Lord my God infuse ioy into my hart and come to me that so I may grow to see thee For this house of my soule is strait till thou come into it and so it be inlarged by the. It is ruinous till it be repaired by thee It hath many things which may offend thyne eyes I know it and confesse it but yet who is he that can cleanse it or to whom but thee shall I cry out Cleanse me O Lord from my hidden sinnes and pardon also thy seruant those sinnes which he hath caused in others Make me sweet Christ O deere Iesus make me I beseech thee lay downe the burden of carnall desires and of the concupiscence which I haue after earthly thinges Giue dominion to my soule ouer my body and to my reason ouer my soule and to thy grace ouer my reason and subdue me both in my outward and inward man to thy will Graunt to me that my hart may praise thee togeather with my tongue and all the strength I haue Dilate my mind and hoyse vp the sight of my hart that at least by some glymse my spirit may with a swift and suddaine thought lay hold vpon that eternall wisedom whach is aboue all thinges and whach lasts beyond them all Discharge me I beseech thee from he chains wherin I am bound by sinnes chat at last I may giue ouer all thinges that I may hasten to thee and behold and adhere to thee alone CHAP. VI. Of the felicity of a soule which is freed from the prison of flesh and bloud HAPPY is that soule which being freed from this earthly prison arriues to heauen and seeth thee her most deere Lord face to face And which is no longer subiect to the least feare of death but doth reioyce in the incorruptibility of eternall glory She is then in peace she is secure doth no longer feare either death or any other enemy For she possesseth her deere Lord whom she hath long sought and whome she hath euer loued and being associated to those Quires of Angels she doth eternally sing those melodious Hymnes of thy euer lasting solemnity O Christ thou King thou deare Iesus to the prayse of thy glory For then she is inebriated by the fresh and springing plenty of thy house and thou giuest her to drinke of thy delights O happy society of those heauenly Cittizens O glorious solemnity of them who returne to thee from the sad labour of this pilgrimage of ours to that sweetnes of beauty to that delightfulnes of all splendour and to that dignity of all pleasing grace where thy Cittizens O Lord do continually behold thy countenance There is no eare in that place which can heare any thing that may offend it What songs what Organs what Hymnes what melodies are sung there without any end Eternally are there sounded forth mellifluous cōcents of Hymns that most sweet melody of the Angells those most admirable canticles of Canticles which are sung forth by those heauenly Cittizens to thy prayse and glory No bitternes nor any kind of vnsauorynes or gall can haue any place in that Countrey of thine for there is no wickednes nor any wicked man There is no aduersary or enemy there is no tempting bayte of sinne there is no want no shame no quarell no reproach no exception taken no feare no vnquietnes no payne no doubt no violence no dissention But there is souueraigne peace pertect charity eternall iubilation and prayse of God secure euerlasting repose and perpetual ioy in the holy Ghost O how happy shall I be if once I may arriue to heare those most sweet songs of thy cittizens those mellifluous Hymns which with due honour shall declare the prayses of the most blessed Trinity But O how happy euen too happy shall I be if my selfe may obtaine to sing to our Lord Iesus Christ some one of those sweet songs of Syon CHAP. VII Of the Ioyes of Heauen O Vitall life O eternall life and eternally happy where there is ioy without griefe rest without labour dignity without feare riches without want life without death perpetuity without corruption and felicity without calamity Where all thinges are good in perfect charity where there is showing seeing face to face where there is complete knowledge in all and by all where the soueraigne goodnes of God is discerned where the illuminating
abhorr thee When therefore thou art angry thou dost not onely not strike the offenders but euē impartest blessings to them if they giue ouer offending O thou my God! the very horne of my saluation and my vpholder I wretched creature haue offended thee I haue done wickedly in thy sight I haue deserued thy wrathe I haue prouoked thy fury I haue sinned and thou hast suffred me I haue offended and thou yet endurest me If I repent thou pardonest if I returne thou receiuest nay more then this whilest I am deferring thou expectest me Thou dost reduce me when I err thou inuitest me when I resiste thou staiest for me when I am dull thou imbracest me when I returne Thou teachest me when I am ignorant thou cherrishest me when I am afflicted thou raisest me whilest I fall thou restorest me when I am fallen thou giuest me when I aske thou art found when I seeke thee and thou openest when I knock O Lord the God of my saluation behold I know not what I may alledge I know not what to answere I haue no refuge nor hole to retire my serfe into from thee Thou hast showed me the way of good life and thou hast giuen me knoweledge how to cōduct my selfe thou haste treatned me with the feare of hell thou hast allured me with the hope of the glory of heauen And now O Father of mercyes ô God of all consolation strike through my very flesh with thy feare to the end through feare I may auoide that which thou threatnest and restore to me the ioy of thy sauing grace that by loue I may obteyne the thinges which thou promisest O Lord my strength and my fundation my God my refuge my deliuerer inspire me with what I ought to thinke of thee teach me with what words I should inuoke thee impart the power of performeinge those workes wherby I may please thee I know there is one thing wherby thou art appeased an other which thou art not wont to despise To witt an afflicted soule is a sacrifice to thee and thou vouchsafest to accept an humble and contrite hart O my God and my helper inrich me I beseech thee with these guifts defend me against mine enemy by these graces impart this refreshinge to me against the burninge heat of sensualityes and lett this refuge be open to me against the importunity of all inordinate desires O Lord the strength of my saluatiō doe not permitt me to be of them who beleeue in thee for a season but in the tyme of temptation departe from thee Ouer shadow this head of mine in the day of battell O thou who art my hope in the tyme of affliction and my saueing health in the tyme of tribulation Behold ô Lord ô thou my light and my saluation I haue begged those things of thee which I neede I haue intimated those things which I apprehend and feare but my conscience fills me with remorse the secretts of my hart reprooue me and that which loue gathered together feare scattereth and that which zeale moues me too distrust drawes me from My sinns giue me terrour but thy pitty putts me into hope thy bounty exhorts me though myne owne malignity holds me back And that I may confesse a truth the images and representations of my old sinns be still obtrudeing themselues on my memory they hold me downe from presumeing too farr CHAP. III. The complainte of a man who is not heard by our Lord through his disobedience FOr in fine when a man is worthy of hate with what face shall he desire fauour To whome punishment is due what rash boldnes is it for him to expect glory He prouoketh his Iudge who instead of giueinge satisfaction for his offence pretends to be honored with rewards He insults vpon his Kinge who beinge obnoxious to punishment will aduenture to begg a prize which is not due to him And that foolish sonne would exasperate the tender hart of his father who hauinge reproached the same father would presume to vsurpe the honour of the inheritance before he had disposed himself to pennance What is this ô my deare Father which I say I haue done I haue deserued death and yet I aske life I haue offēded my souueraigne Kinge whose aide I doe yet thus impudently implore I haue despised my Iudge whome thus rashly I desire to be my helper Most insolently haue I refused so much as to harken to my Father whom yet I am presumeinge to haue for my defender Woe be vnto me how late doe I come woe be to me how slack am I in makeing haste woe be to me who am runninge still hauing receiued fresh wounds and yet vouchsafe not when I am wel to preuent the pearcinge of new arrowes I haue neglected to forsee the darts before they came but now that I behold my death at hand I am full of trouble I added wounds to wounds because I feared not to add crimes to crimes My ancient scarrs I haue broken through with new violence because my late iniquities haue corresponded with my ancient sinns and that which thy diuine phisick had cured and closed the itch of my frensy hath opened againe The skinn which being drawen ouer my wounds did conceale my infirmity hath putrified by the breaking out of filthy blood whilest that iniquity which I iterated did euacuate the mercy which thou dist grante For I well know how it is written In what houre soeuer the iust man shall sinn all his iustice shal be forgotten And now if the iustice of the iust man shal be forgotten when he falls how much more shall the peunance of a sinner be forgotten if he returne againe to comitt those sinns How often like a dogg haue I returned to my vomitt and like a sowe haue I weltered againe in the mire I may wel confesse it for it is impossible but I should remember it How many ignorant persons haue I taught the way how to sinn how many haue I persuaded who had no minde to it I haue compelled such as resisted and I haue consented to such as desired For how many haue I laide a snare who were already in the right way and for others who sought that way I haue digged a pitt and to the end that I might not abhorr the doeinge of these things I feared not to cast them out of my minde But thou ô iust Iudge who sealest vp the accounts of my sinns and who standest watchinge ouer all my wayes and haste numbered euery one of my stepps thou I say heldest thy peace thou hast euer beene silent and euer patient But woe is me thou wilt at length cry out like a woman who is in the torment of child-bedd CHAP. IV. The feare of the Iudge O God of Gods O Lord who art too hard for the malice and sinn of man I knowe that one day thou wilt appeare I know that thou wilt not be allwayes silent when the fire shall burn in thy sight and that
strong tempest shall compasse thee inn round about when thou shalt call the heauen earth at such tyme as thou wilt iudge thy people And behold all my iniquities shal be discouered then before so many thousands of nations and all my greiuous crimes not onely deeds but euen words and very thoughts themselues shal be manifested to so many legions of Angells Before so many iudges shall I desolate creature stand as there wil be men who haue farr outstripped me in good workes By so many reprouers shall I be confounded as haue giuen me examples of good life And by so many witnesses shall I be conuinced as haue taught me by good speeches and instructed me toward an imitation of them by their good examples O my Lord I can lighte vpon nothinge which I may say nothing doth occurr which I can answere And now whilest I am subiect to this sharp triall my conscience racks me the secrets of my hart torment me couetousnesse streightens me pride accuses me enuy consumes me concupiscence inflames me lust importunes me gluttony dishoners me ebriety ouercomes me detraction tears me ambition supplants me greedinesse disquiets me discorde scatters me anger disturbes me mirth dissolues me heauinesse oppresseth me hypocrisy deceiues me flattery alters me fauour exalts me slaunder wounds me Behold ô thou who art my deliuerer from these feirce nations behold who they be whome I haue liued with all from the very day of my birth whome I haue obserued and to whome I haue dedicated my selfe Those very imployments which I loued condemn me they which I praised dishonored me These are those frends with whome I did so carefully comply those Maisters whose direction I followed those Lords whome I haue serued those Counseillers whome I haue beleeued those citzens with whome I haue dwelt those domesticks whome I haue consented too woe is me ô my King and my God that my habitation here is so much prolonged Woe is me O thou light of mine eyes that I haue dwelt amongst the inhabitants of Cedar And if holy Dauid could say that he had dwelt much with them how much more may I wretched creature say O thou my God and my strong fundation that my soule hath dwelt too much with them for in thy sight noe man liueinge can be iustifyed My hope is not reposed in the sonnes of men for if thou iudge them when thy mercy is laide a side whome wilt thou be able to finde iust And if thou preuent not the wicked man by showeing mercy thou wilt not finde any good man vpon whome to bestowe thy glory For I beleeue O thou who art my saluation that which I haue beene told that it is thy mercy which bringeth me to pennance Those lipps of thy mouth more sweete then Nectar haue sounded forth these words Noe man can come to me vnles my Father who sent me drawe him Because therfor thou haste instructed me because by that instruction thou hast mercifully framed me as now I am I doe with the most inward marrow of my soule and with all possible strife of my hart inuoke thee ô Omnipotent Father with thy most beloued Sonne and thee ô most sweete Sonne with the most excellent souueraigne Holy spirit that thou wilt draw me towards thee that so I may runn after the fragrance of thy pretious odours and that I may doe it most dearely CHAP. V. The Father is inuoked by the Sonne INuoke thee ô my God! I inuoke hee because thou art present to all such as call vpon thee in the way of truth for thou art Truth Teach me ô holy Truth by thy mercy how I may inuoke thee in thee because I know not how that must be done and therefore I doe most humbly begg of thee to be taught by thee For to be wise without thee is to play the foole but to knowe thee is perfectly to be wise Teach me ô diuine Wisdome and instruct me in thy lawe for I beleeue that he whome thou teachest and whome thou instructest in thy lawe shal be happy I desire to inuoke thee and I beseech thee that it may be in all Truth What is it to call vpon Truth in Truth but to call vpon the Father in his Sonnes Thy speach therfore ô holy Father is Truth and Truth is the beginninge of thy words For this is the beginninge of thy words that in the beginning was the word In the very beginning doe I adore thee who art the prime and supreame beginninge In that very worde of Truth doe I also inuoke thee ô perfect Truth in which word I beseech thee who art that very Truth that thou will direct and teach me that Truth For what is more delightfull then to inuoke the Father in the name of his onely begotten Sonne to induce the Father to mercy by the remembrance of his Sonne to mollify the Kings hart by the mention of his dearest Sonne For thus doe prisoners vse to be freed from their restrainte So are slaues freed from their chaines and men who are lyable to the sadd doome of death are not onely absolued but growe intitled sometymes to extraordinary fauour when they putt angry Princes in minde of the loue they beare to theyr progeny And when the intercession of the Sonne is imployed the poore slaue is wonte to auoide the punishment of his Lord. Iust so ô thou Omnipotent Father I begg of thee by thine Omnipotent Sonne that thou wilt drawe my soule out of prison that I may confesse to thy name I beseech thee by that onely begotten Sonne of thine who is coeternall with thee that thou wilt discharge me from these fetters of my sinns and that by the mediation of thy most pretious issue who is sitting at thy right hand thou wilt of thy goodnes restore me to life who for my great demerits am threatned with the sentence of death For I know not what other intercessor I should be able to vse towards thee but him who is propitiation for our sinns and who sitteth at thy right hand pleadinge for vs. Behold ô God the Father him who is my aduocate with thee Behold that supreame Bishop who hath noe need to be expiated by any others blood because he is resplendent by being all bathed in his owne Beholde here the holy Sacrifice which is holy perfect and wel pleasing which is offered in the odour of sweetnes so accepted Behold the lamb without spott who is silent before the shearrer and who being beaten vpon the face with blowes and defiled with spittle and reproached with scorne did not yet so much as open his mouth Behold he who neuer committed sinn hath borne our sinns and by his owne wounds hath cured our diseases CHAP. VI. Here man representeth the Passion of the Sonne to the Father BEholde deare Father thy most holy Sonne who hath suffered such bitter paines for me Behold ô most clement Kinge who it is that suffers and mercifully remember for whome he suffers