1690. THat I have particularly mentioned the Sins of my Youth c. I must acquaint all Perusers of this Book That I am not asbamed to do it for the advance of Free and Rich Grace Some PASSAGES of the LIFE of Gervase Disney from my first Marriage especially with many Particulars before such as either occur'd to Memory or by the help of my Diary I was capable of taking In which I have endeavoured as Impartially to view my dark Side as Bright and both for these Reasons By the former I discover the miserable Corruption of my wretched Nature the Wiles and Subtilties of a busy Devil who goes about like a roaring Lion seeking whom he may devour By the latter I would discover the wonderful Free Grace of God to me who was one of the worst and greatest of Sinners in bringing me from under Satan's Slavery and Dominion I The said Gervase Disney was born the Day of March 1641 at of Religious Parents viz. John Disney of Swinderby in the County of Lincoln Esq the Eldest Son by a Second Venter of Sir Henry Disney of Norton-Disney Kt. and Barbara his Wife who was the Eldest Daughter of Gervase Lee of Norwell-Hall in the County of Nottingham Esq They had nine Children lent them by the Lord viz. Cornelius Elizabeth Gervase Mary John Sarah Samuel Dorcas Daniel Sarah and Samuel died very young The former of the Purples and tho very young yet had a good Savour of Spiritual Things upon her Heart and in that Sickness a longing desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ She was esteemed one of the beautifullest Children that ever was seen her Hair being Milk white and Complexion pure white and red yet it was judg'd her greatest Beauty lay within the Lord having betimes adorned her Soul with Ornaments of Grace and from the abundance of her Heart her Mouth did often speak to the great Comfort and Refreshment of weeping Friends that stood about her She called much upon God as her Father My Father one Day standing by her Bed-side and hearing her frequently cry out O my Father my Father asked her who she meant did she mean him O no no said she it 's my Heavenly Father I cry after you are my Father on Earth but it 's my Father in Heaven I want You cannot help me but he can Many such like Passages I have heard my Father Disney report of her which shewed her to be more sit for Heaven than Earth Samuel also died young of a Lethargy being removed from Earth to Heaven when about the Age of 4 Years He was a Child of most pregnant Parts and had a strange understanding in the best Things He was indeed a good Young Samuel and feared God from a Child He was my Father's great Favourite and Darling in his Company and with his pretty Talk my Father did much delight and would therefore usually at his walking Hours which he did pretty much for Exercise he must lead his young Samuel by the Hand and then could not but admire his pious Talk his strange Questions in Divinity which I have heard my Father say sometimes he was astonished at and sometimes his Questions would be so deep that lie was almost non-plust to answer He was extraordinary Inquisitive and would usually demand a Reason for every Thing under Debate He loved Prayer and would not tho so very young be got to Bed without it his wonderful Ripeness in his Infancy seemed a Presage and Prognostick in his Friends Apprehensions that he was not like to be long one of this World he seemed indeed to be tho a Bud yet ripe for nipping As soon as Sickness seised him my Father sent down Hill at Lincoln to good Old Mr. Reyner to desire his Prayers for him and not long after went down himself to make Enquiry after him Mr. Reyner presently told him I believe with Sorrow enough that as to his Son Samuel he must resign him to God and prepare to part with him for â—he did not believe he was long for this World and saith he I ground my perswasion upon this when I pray for his Recovery I find strange Restraints upon my Spirit and am much dampt strained but when I pray that the Lord would fit him for himself and crown him with Happiness to Eternity when I beg for the Eternal Welfare of his Soul I am then much enlarged Thus the Secrets of the Lord was with that good Man that truly feared him for the Child died at that Time thâ— I suppose as likely to live according to Haimâ—â—â—â— Conjecture as any of us being all 〈…〉 of the Small-Pox at that time but my Brother Cornelius who had that Distemper young and my Sister Mâ—…y who through God's Goodness escaped the Infection by my Mother's removing her to Sâ—â—inder by when we were dropping down of them one after another My Brother Cornelius died of a Consumption about the Year 1664 and in about the 28th Year of his Age at my Uncle Thomas Disney's at Stoke-Hammond He went to School at Lincoln where his quick and ripe Natural Parts were soon observed at School he was so extraordinary industrious and studious that in a short time such was his Proficiency in Humane Learning the was accounted one of the â—…st Scholars not only of that School but perhaps of that Town and Country As to Grammar-Learning his Master Mr. Clark was pround he had such a Scholar to boast of being indeed the very Credit of his School and would therefore usually put him upon the most difficult Tasks in Learning and Disputing He was a great Improver of Time in his younger Years I having been credibly informed he would hardly allow himself time for those necessary Repasts that Nature might warrantably challenge the spare time that he had from School which other Scholars spent in Play and youthful Recreations he would constantly with great Delight spend in his Study usually rising early and sitting up late for such end His great Prosiciency in Learning was such that he proved very useful I may not say serviceable to the Scholars of the same Form for whilst they were spending their spare Hours with delight in Play he would be spending his with as great delight in his own Studies or in the Service of those Idle Lads who commonly engaged his help in preparing their School-Exercises for them they knowing well that what he did of that Nature would pass in School as current Pay for the discharge of those Debts they by their idle trifling Humour had contracted He was likewise very forward in the best Things truly Conscientious as in Charity must be believed in his Closet-Duties he spending much time there a constant Attender upon Ordinances both on Sabbath-days and Week-day-Lectures He took Sermons very exactly in Short-Hand and repeated them as distinctly after in my Father's Family He was very useful to those of us that were Younger and would most frequently upon a Sabbath-day
Flames Mr. Flavel himself died a Martyr for Christ the Year before viz. 1665 remarkable in that dreadful Mortality by the Plague Good Man he durst not fly from it when the Hand of God in that Plague seem'd to be gone out against the City He was willing being a Minister to hazard his own Body for the advantage of others Souls and so truly he did for being taken at a Religious Meeting he was carried before some Magistrates who after some debate with him plainly told him they would set before him Life and Death and leave him to make his choice They told him he must either promise never to preach at a Conventicle more or they must commit him to a Prison at that time sorely infected with the Sickness He was too great a Champion for Christ and a more faithful Servant to his Lord and Master than to stand long to consider an Answer but readily told them As to their former Proposal He did abhor the Thoughts of a Compliance by deserting his Saviour's Service and as to their latter Threatning he was freely willing to comply with the Will and Pleasure of God and could heartily say His Will be done So that he was O height of Wickedness and Cruelty committed to Prison there presently took the Infection and in a few Days transplanted from Earth to Heaven After I was acquainted with this worthy Divine and had tasted and receiv'd some Benefit by his Ministry being introduc'd at first by John Southam a Journy-man Drugster in London a very serious young Man and one I must bless God for I became a constant Attendor upon him where-ever he preached either in City or Suburbs He surely was as powerful plain and practical a Preacher as I ever did or reasonably can expect ever to hear He had one Practice though exceeding useful I think peculiar to himself which was this He would at his first entrance upon Sabbath-Day-Publick-Exercises endeavour to raise his Peoples Affections and to engage them to Seriousness by a most awakening Exhortation pressing them to consider with whom they had to do the Great and eternal God that searcheth Hearts what they came about no less than Souls Concerns and that for ought they knew their eternal Welfare might depend upon their improving that Opportunity which Prayer might prove their last Prayer and that Sermon the last Sermon that ever they should hear It was about the 25th Year of my Age when the Lord was pleased again to check and stop me in my Career of Sin to awaken my drousy Conscience to give me a Sense of Sin 's damning and defiling Nature and of the necessity of a saving Change which should be accompanied with a strict serious and holy Conversation if I would not eternally miscarry Here I made a stand and began to consider what I had done and what I must do Now began I to be sensible that I could never enough bewail the Sins of my Youth never enough live to the Honour and Glory of that God who had given me to out-live those Days of Vanity who had bestowed upon me not only space for Repentance but the Grace of Repentance too as I trust he did about that Time Now it was that the remembrance of my Sins was more grievous to my Soul than the forsaking of them the Sins I once loved I now loathed and would if that had been possible have given ten thousand Worlds I had never committed them Now it was I by Experience felt what before I would not believe that the best of Sins Sweets are really most intolerably Bitter I now experienced the Truth of that Passage I met with in a Reverend Author Mr. Hardcastle says he Let every Person that lies under a Temptation to commit Sin seriously consider thus If I commit this Sin I must either repent of it or I must not If I do not repent it damns me and if I do repent aright I shall find it cost me more Pains and Trouble and Sorrow than the Sin was worth that I did commit And this I have often thought upon since upon any Temptation Conscience now flew in my Face and was more than a thousand Witnesses against me now I did by sad experience feel the truth and terrour of that single Text A wounded Conscience who can bear And this through Grace I can say that when I did not sinfully stop its mouth it was a faithful Monitor to me That Scripture terrified me greatly The Soul that sins shall die And here was my Argument upon it The Law says the Soul that sins must die my Conscience tells me But thou O Soul has sinned and what 's the Conclusion why very dreadful thou must die I set about the Work of Repentance but must confess till the Lord did savingly by his Word and Spirit shine in upon my Soul I thought that bare Repentance was enough without considering that true and saving Repentance consisted in forsaking as well as in confessing Sin but here the Lord set home upon my Heart such Considerations as these That his holy and righteous Law was broken and Satisfaction must be made that he himself was Just and his Justice must be satisfied And that all my Prayers and Tears and Duties and Repentance though I should use them as means were yet no good foundation to build my Hopes of Heaven upon That though I could shed a thousand Tears and those of Blood for one vain Thought they would be no better than puddle Water to justify and save me Now did those Scriptures stâ—ir me in the Face 1 Cor. 6. 9. Know ye not that the Vnrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God be not deoeived neither Fornicators nor Idolaters nor Adulterâ—rs nor Effeminate nor Abusers of themselves with Mankind nor Drunkards nor Revilers nor Extortioners shall inherit the Kingdom of God And that of Gal. 5. 19. Now the Works of the Flesh are manifest which are these Adultery Fornication Vncleanness Lasciviousness Idolatry Witchcraft Hatred Variance Emulations Wrath Strife Seditions Heresies Envyings Murders Drunkenness Revellings and such like they that do such things shall not inherit the Kingdom of God And though I bless God the most of these Sins that do entitle to eternal Wrath and Vengeance I could not charge my self as guilty of yet some I could and the least of them in their own nature I found was damning and would serve to exclude me out of the Kingdom of God now through Grace was I ready to cry out O what must I do to be saved and a little seriously to enquire into my spiritual State and after Jesus Christ and the way of Salvation by him Now I began to think of the Corruption of my Nature and the Sinfulness of my Heart and that all the impure Streams of my Life had proceeded from that most corrupt Fountain Mar. 15. 19. And that it was not enough to bewail the outward Acts of Sin but the inward Principles of Corruption leading to it Now I
Riper-years of lost Time in Youth will prove sad and cost dear and be assured that Time 's lost that 's spent either in Eating Drinking Sleeping Visiting or Sportings more than Necessity requires 13. If the Lord should again make thee Head of a Family and bless thee with Children as well as Servants take care of their Souls train them up for God and let thy House be a Nursery for Heaven take an account every Week of their Proficiency in Spirituals and always esteem of those Children and Servants most that love fear and serve God best Travel in Birth to see Christ formed in thine and know that if any go from thy House to Hell through thy neglect their Souls will be required at thy Hands 14. Make Religion thy Business and always account the serving of God and the saving thy Soul to be the greatest Work thou art sent into the World about and continued in the World for give not Christ the World's leavings much rather let the World have his 15. Get right and well-grounded Evidences for Heaven O lay not a Sandy Foundation for the Building that 's to stand to Eternity 〈…〉 some Evidences for Heaven thou'lt find in the first part of this Treatise others in Rogers's Evidences for Heaven Examine thy State often and impartially and never be satisfied till the Interest betwixt Christ and thy Soul be compleated and cleared up 16. Sit loose from the World and seek not great things for thy self here My Circumstances in the World be such that I cannot leave thee much more than what was setled upon Marriage but all I could I have and a little with the Lord's Blessing is better than the great Revenues of many Wicked Make sure of an Estate in Heaven live much upon Invisibles choose Christ for a Portion and thou art made for ever 17. Be content with thy Condition here whatever 't is and expect Sufferings A Christian's Life here is militant If thou continue to keep thy Face Heavenwards which I trust thou wilt then may the Devil the World and the Flesh be frequently sallying out against thee But O pray that thy Faith fail not and that God's Grace may be sufficient for thee 18. Labour to persevere in the good Ways of God maintain thine Integrity and hold out unto the end whatever it cost thee Be a Follower of those who through Faith and Patience inherit the Promises or Things promised All thy Bitters here will serve to make Heaven more sweet to thee and being Faithful unto Death Christ will give thee a Crown of Life 19. Get off from thine own Bottom place no Confidence in the Flesh look off from thine own Righteousness thine own Duties thine own Services when thou doest the best in point of Justification and depend and rest only on Christ upon whose account alone thou canst be accepted and saved It 's Christ's Righteousness alone imputed to thee for Justification and imparted to thee for thy Sanctification that can or will bestead thee 20. Be rich in good Works and go about doing Good hold on thy Charitable way of doing Good to Bodies but especially befriend poor Souls Be always as kind as thy Circumstances will allow to those worthy good Ministers of the Gospel thou and I were always beholden to and I am perswaded shall be blessing God for as Instruments in his Hand of our Good to Eternity 21. Allow thy self in no Sin for the least Sin loved and allowed is certainly damning When God has at any time convinced thee of a Sin and Conscience has flown in thy Face and thou art full of Terrour go to God down upon thy Knees and beg pardoning Grace and Mercy leave him not till thou hast obtained that Blessing and always have a care of Relapses for though we find a David and Lot and others of the dear Servants of God recorded in Scripture guilty of some great Miscarriages yet we find them sorely broken for those Things and humbled and not repeating and relapsing again into them 22. Prepare for Eternity get and keep Oil in thy Lamp that it be not to buy when thy Lamp should be found burning put on thy Wedding-Garments and be prepared c. 23. Mourn not for me excessively I am gone but thy God and my God stays with thee and I trust will guide thee by his Counsel till he conduct thee to his Glory I am dead but God lives thou hast no Husband on Earth what then If thy Maker be but thy Husband thou hast cause enough to rejoice What though they that have seen me shall in this World see me no more This is my Comfort let it be thine he does see me that has seen though my weak yet my sincere Yernings and Groanings after him he sees me that will never say I know you not being a God that will not forget Covenant he sees me who has seen my Soul in Travel and those Pangs of Desite after him that no others have O'couldst thou but hear what I confidently hope through the Morits and Mediation of my dear Redeemer I shall before thou â—â—est this Paper my God in the Riches of his Mercy saying to this effect Yonder 's poor such a one come to my Gate let him in he chose me for a Portion whilst on Earth and gave himself according to his weak Measures up to me I will in no wise cast him off Surely this would abate thy Sorrows surely then thou wouldst not wish me so Ill as to be on Earth again well live in the Faith of this and walk comfortably with thy God God has made thee indeed whilst on Earth to me the greatest outward blessing that ever I enjoyed O let me not want thy Company in Heaven And now my Dearest on Earth I commit thee to the keeping and Mercy of the Great Jehovah I resign thee to that God who is thy Maker and thy Husband serve him and thy Generation according to his Will here that thou mayest sleep in Jesus and be found in him Gervase Disney POST-SCRIPT OR A Continuation of the most Remarkable Passages of my LIFE since the other the last of June 1686. SINCE my last particular View of my Diary design'd in the Treatise of my Life I find my up's and down's and that I am but a poor vile and weak Creature unable of my self to answer by a holy and humble Carriage the Lord 's great Goodness to me in late signal Deliverances out of Trouble and that upon better Terms than I could expect I was now no sooner at ease and rest thrô the Lord's Mercy and at liberty than I grew secure and begun to be too regardless of Soul-Concerns I too little remembred and considered Promises made when under Affliction and neglected too much to pay those Vows My Circumstances when in Trouble were a Snare to me in some Particulars In my Diary the 19th of September 1685 I find my self blessing God for his Protection and Care of me in my Journey and
Abode some pleasant Place What needs more Mis'ry than not see thy Face Judg. Away thou cursed Miser'ant 't is too late Possess the Mis'ries of a wretched state To Hell be gone let Racks increase thy Pains And Fiends torment thee with their dolorou◠Strains Here thou didst wallow in thy sensual Pleasure And now must burn in Flames that know no Measure Prisoner Ah Lord if I must go with Curse and Ire And that to such a woful Place as Fire Yet let me beg this Boon I never may Continue any long time there or stay Let me pass swiftly thr◠and then have Ease Let this the Anger of my God appease Material Fire 's sad Men kindle here What then are Flames that burn with Brimstone there Judg. Away Wretch stay no longer cease thy Wooings Thou reapest but the Fruits of thy own Doings Eternal Pain thy tortur'd Mind shall rend That has no present Ease nor future End There go contribute to those dreadful Cries Where Fire 's never quench'd nor Worm e're dies Prisoner Let not my Lord be angry if I take Yet Liberty to plead my Life 's at Stake This dismal dreadful Doom for to depart From thee the chiefest Good en'e breaks my Heart But yet in Flames for evermore to be Does fill my Torments with Extremity Well if it must be so that I drink up The bitterst Dregs of this imbittered Cup Yet favour me so far as I may choose My own Companions there Lord don't refuse May I be join'd to such as may abate And not encrease the Torments of that State Judg. No Sinner thy Companions must be such As thou in Life-time didst delight in much Such who on Earth were Tempters most to thee Shall now in Hell thy worst Tormentors be Those who to lead thee Captive here took pains Shall now for ever with thee hang in Chains You all when fagotted shall burn together And these things be endured Soul for ever Ah ghastly Sight devouring Flames to see With Adders Frogs and Toads for ever be To hear the Screeches of those Monsters then That cannot be express'd by any Pen All this and greater Mis'ry does inthral Yet Stings of Conscience will prove worst of all Sentence more particular Judg. BRing forth the Prisoners bring them one by one That every one may sentenc'd be alone Set them to ' th Bar that every one may hear What 't is they 're damned for what they must bear Ignorant Come forth besotted Souls that have not known The Myst'ries of the great Salvation That ignorant have been thô Gospel-Light Has shin'd about their Tabernacles bright Take them then Devils bind them very fast The time they had for Learning now is past Slothful Come forth ye slothful Servants come make haste Who did not well improve but Talents waste On Earth you most unprofitable were And well may trembling stand now you are here Talents I did intrust you with to use Vnto my Glory which you did abuse You either spent them vainly on your Lust Or laid them up in Napkins for to rust How couldst thou eat and drink and sleep and play Before thy Work was done Soul what canst say Your pleasant Morsels prove a bitter Sweet For take them Devils bind them Hand and Feet Worship-Neglecters Come forth all those that Families had here But in them would not Gospel-Worship bear Thô Sin and Satan have your Thresholds trod You had no Entertainment for your God! You were my Creatures and did Worship owe But did not pay this Debt to me you know And thô you Subjects were would never bring The Homage that you should to me your King You liv'd upon my Bounty every Day Your Charge in Keeping-house I did defray And yet when all was done you would not Pray Thô Wrath and Vengeance threatned was to fall On Families that would not on me call Yet all I find in vain you Strangers are Both to your Family and Closet-Prayer Then rank them Devils ' mongst your cursed Train Their Prayers that would have done are now in vain Sabbath-Breakers Come forth ye Sabbath-Breakers Sinners high You must be try'd and all be cast and die You did prophane my Sabbaths here on Earth Would not then honour me who gave you Breath Most vilely you have wasted those blest Days By eating Drinking Sleeping Sports and Plays By thinking vainly or by doing ill By acting what was bad or sitting still Instead of Walking with thy God which yields The truest Pleasure thou hast walk'd i' th Fields To gratify thy Flesh with vain Delights And hast not paid to Heaven Heaven's Rights Instead of Waiting at the Posts o' th Door Of my own House thou 'st waited on a Whore Instead of managing thy Soul's Affairs By Reading Hearing Singing Thinking Pray'rs The World has fill'd thy Thoughts and wasted time That was not thine O Sinner but was mine You thought one Day of Prayer and Praise for me Too much to spend on Earth and now must see Your selves excluded Heaven fill'd with Pains Whilst Saints are singing here in highest Strains Take them to Hell then let them hence be led And there be always dying never dead Swearers Come forth you swearing Crew who would prophane By Oaths and Curses my most Holy Name Could hardly speak a Word but Oaths must fly For these thy Sins O Sinner thou must die 'T was my Command you know Swear not at all Vnless to end a Strife you had a Call But in your common Talk my Word did say Let your Yea be Yea and your Nay be Nay And whatsoever's more must needs be Evil Yet less is learn'd by you and taught by th' Devil Come Sinners come you oft have curst and swore And bad me damn you if I durst therefore I now will swear in Wrath you ne're shall see My blessed Rest but turn'd to Hell shall be Take them then Devils in Torments let them lie Where Conscience always stings and Worms ne're die Scoffers Come forth ye Scoffers that could ne're refrain To speak of pious Souls without disdain Who counted Goodness Madness blam'd their Folly Who seriously were strict and truly holy Those things you did account you never saw But Tricks and Francies to keep Men in awe The truly holy humble pious Soul You did account no better than a Fool Then you could say what needs so much ado Men may be much less holy yet sav'd too You tauntingly could say these holy Brothers Would fain seem more religious than others The praying Saint for sooth has th' Spirit got Who yonder goes poor silly whining Sot Well but who made the wisest choice Come speak They who did keep my Law or did it break They who in Soul-Affairs would ne're delay To give to God the best they had or they Who thought such guilty of the highest Folly And call'd religious Thoughts but Melancholy I' th World you had your good things mine their bad But now mine shall rejoice whilst you are sad This was your Folly
thô you would not see 't Then take them Devils bind them Hands and Feet Persecutors Come forth you Persecutors now you 'l know What 't was for to oppress my Friends below You did not only mock and scoff but when You pleas'd you did imprison th' best of Men. Not only did you wound them with the Tongue But Scorpion-like you many of them stung Some Judas-like you wickedly betray'd And others with your Treats you made afraid You banish'd some and others spilt their Blood Because they durst not sin but would be good Many you hal'd to Prison whom you knew In all their Pray'rs to me forgot not you You would not walk your selves in th' Narrow-way And such as would you often caus'd to stray You thought herein you serv'd me but now see It was the Devil's Work with him you 'l be Take them then Devils let those Monsters know Their Folly's great who serv'd my Servants so Licentious Licentious ones come forth for you have been Allâ—vers of your selves in every Sin You never laid Restraints upon your Will But always would your Appetites fulfil Your Lusts must be indulg'd your Sins allow'd The least Advance on Earth has made you proud If others would be bad you 'd not forbear With Drunkards would be drunk with Swearers swear With haughty Spirits you could rant and huff And with the vilest would be vile enough Then take them Devils let them ever burn In Hell's devouring Flames and ne're return Gluttons Come forth ye Gluttons you that must be fed With best of Dainties and the finest Bread Who could for th' Body lusty Morsels carve Whilst a neglected Soul was like to starve Whose Cry was always Give come give us more Thô Beggars went but empty from your Door If Paunches were not swell'd to th' biggest Last You always thought you had a poor repast If Bellies were not fill'd up to the Brim And you in Liqour almost fit to swim You thought Provision mean and you must starve Thô Scraps indeed were more than such deserve Well take them Devils give them now their fill Let swinish Tempers have their swinish Swill Drunkards Drunkards come forth who did your selves besot By drinking Wine in Bowls Pot after Pot Who did unman your selves debase your Reason And this not seldom but at every Season You knew you sinn'd by every such Excess That Nature would be satisfi'd with less And that such Drunkards must their Portion take In the infernal Pit and fiery Lake Yet drink you would and Drunkards you would be And in excuse would say some tempted me Others thus pleaded that as for their share They overtaken were before aware But these things will not do your Pleas are naught And all your drunken Frolicks dearly bought Then seize them Devils let them ever take Whole Draughts of Vengeance in a flaming Lake Adulterers Come forth Adulterers that cursed Seed Who were unchaste in Thought or Word or Deed For all these things by my Command I did Most strictly all the Sons of Men forbid You Wantons knew these things most sinful were And yet to act them seldom would forbear You sought out secret Corners where to sin And act your lustful Wickednesses in You dreaded humane Eyes and watch'd for Night That Works of Darkness might not see the Light But ne're consider'd my all-seeing Eye Could Wickedness thrô thickest Darkness spy Then take them Satan rack them in each part That they may ever know I search the Heart Covetous Come forth those worldly Muck-worms that took pleasure In nothing more than heaping up a Treasure In this vain World but never did know why Or who should afterwards the same enjoy Who fixt your Hearts on Earth but would not know When God does blow on such things all must go Your Thoughts were so on Earth you never could Think once of Heav'n at least you never would Bestow a Thought about your future State And Sinners now you see it is too late Then take them Devils ransack all your Hoards And give them Treasures such as Hell affords Unmerciful Come forth all those who would no Mercy show Nor pity take on needy ones below Who would not spare some Pence out of their Store But sent the Hungry empty from their Door And churlishly would at the Beggar scoff Or else would look at him a great way off Had Bowels always shut against their Cries And no regard would have to weeping Eyes Well take them Devils to eternal Pain Let those who shew'd no Mercy seek't in vain Unrighteous Come forth unrighteous Persons and unjust Who in their Dealings here betray'd their Trust Widows and Orphans by their louder Cries Have rent the Heavens and have pierc'd the Skies Your over-reaching Neighbours heretofore And grinding of the Faces of the Poor Oppressing some who ever you thought fit And vexing others whom you could out-wit All these and other such unrighteous Gains Is known to me your Judg and for your Pains Take them now Devils hurl them into th' Fire That 's kindled and increased by my Ire Liars Come forth you Liars that would not refrain To tell a Lie at any time for Gain Who were so much accustom'd to this Sin As if your training up in Hell had been Affirming for a Truth the thing which you At that time did well know to be untrue But this you oft have done without a Thought That such a Practice loved is stark naught You have reported Lies but that 's not all You often have invented them withal O what a Case are you in who as soon As you could almost speak were Liars grown Too often have you by this Lying trade A Fault that was but single two Faults made Then take them Devils for a common Liar Is Fewel very proper for Hell-fire Slanderers Let Slanderers come forth and now appear Who always to Back-biters lent their Ear And then would Stories here and there soon scatter Which whether true or false they did not matter Thus you have liv'd and hereby oft have ta'ne Vnjustly from your Neighbours their good Name Your very Language is of such a sort Let Neighbours but report and we 'l report Such Persons surely never yet well knew The Duty to a Neighbour that was due Thô know they might and ought that in their Station They should not blast but help his Reputation Take them then Devils down to Hell them bear And let them tell those Fiends what now they hear Ambitious Come forth Ambitious Persons and the Proud Make room for them they are too great to crowd Come you who built your Nests on Earth so high As if you meant most proudly thence to fly To Heav'n but this can't be you knowing well 'T was Pride threw Angels down from thence to Hell Many a dirty Step you took to th' Seat Of Honour when on Earth to make you great And tow'ring were your Thoughts and swelling Pride Admiring of your selves but none beside Others you scorn'd and always thought unfit At any
time with you on Earth to sit Your Hearts were proud and Looks and Speech you know And Carriage unto all was also so Lodg them in Hell their Pride must cost them dear See what they will be proud of when they 'r there Envious Let envious Persons now be brought to th' Bar Whose Malice did exceed all others far There hardly could be any Rich or Great But these would quickly envy their Estate They soon repine if they but see or hear Others commended whilst themselves are there If Neighbours but excell'd in any thing They'd either blast his Name or clip his Wing These were the by-paths envious Souls have trod Their Eye was Evil because mine was Good Then take them Deu'l Companions to be They are not fit for Heaven but for thee Wrathful Bring forth those wrathful Persons that black Crew Whose Tongues contentious wounded not a few Their siery Spirits have been just like Swords And Gall was always mingled with their Words Wounded they have and lash'd reproachfully With Scorpion-Tongues in Passion Standers-by E'ne take them Devil they 're too hot to be In any Place but Hell take them to thee Moralists Let Moralists come forth who loudly boast Of their uprighter Dealings than the most We were say they in Carriage always civil And in appearance we forsook the Devil First-Table Duties we have kept and shall Exactly strict and just have been to all Well all is nothing still here lies the bar To th' Power of Godliness you Strangers are Take them then Devils I will hear no more Better than they are gone to Hell before Hypocrites Come forth ye Hypocrites who made a show Of being holy but were never so Have born the outward Name of true Professors Yet in your private Haunts were great Transgressors A Name to live you had but that was all Your Ends and Aims were Hypocritical You us'd Religion only to disguise And paint but over your Deformities You follow'd Christ for Loaves which when you got Thô Christ did lead you still you followed not You 're painted Sepulchres and just no more Splendid without but rotten at the Core Such blazing Comets wandring Stars thô high Were but to shine a while and then to die Receive them Devils and the Charge I give Let them in dismal Darkness ever live Apostates Backsliders Backsliders and Apostates all draw near Attend the dismal Sentence you must hear You once were seeming Saints but now alas Amongst the openly Prophane you pass You seem'd to love my Ways and People too And once run very well who hindred you Was Heaven to you so unpleasant that You must for sake it for you knew not what Was my Reward so mean you went away And would no longer in my Service stay And can the Devil give you better Pay What! faces Heavenwards and then retreat This makes your lesser Wickedness compleat For when you 'd tri'd both ways a worse and better You vainly chose the First and left the Latter Then take them Devils who would ne're be wise And let them know what 't was t' apostatize Impenitent Unbelievers Come forth Impenitents and hear your Fate Let Vnbelievers now lament too late That they would not prevailed be withal To come to Christ when he did sweetly call Come Sinner come away both me and mine Vpon Acceptance shall be ever thine You have not th' Gospel credited thô true And in your Mother-Tongue reveal'd to you You have not yielded to me your Allegiance Nor liv'd by Faith nor paid me true Obedience Nor clos'd with Christ thô you did plainly see 'T was by him only you could saved be Repent you would not but your Sins did cherish Thô it was often said Repent or perish Take them then Devils let them rue their Birth Who would not turn from Sin whilst here on Earth Sinners farewel Alas Alas what will of us become Now Go ye Cursed is our final Doom Both Soul and Body well may stand afrighted Cursing the Day in which they were united Devils must needs with Fury being driven Seize us for Hell being sentene'd out of Heaven And with their Insultation at us rage As thô our Torments would their own asswage In Flames must fry which never cease to burn From whence we never may nor can return Meditations upon the Sacrament in Verse made the 28th of Jan. 85. by G. D. ALL wanton wandring worldly Thoughts be gone It 's Christ alone i 'm now to think upon Stand off the World and worldly Business all I have no leisure to attend your Call My Friends I leave you things below adieu I must my bleeding Saviour go and view My Soul 's for mounting up that I may see My blessed Lord who bled and dy'd for me And may not stay since Heaven gives the Call But hasten to him dearer than you all Come then my Soul art got alone make haste Heaven's Banquet is prepared go and taste Look yonder see how others flock and run And canst thou linger thus my Soul be gone Touch but this Vail climb up that Mount then stay Thou art arriv'd at bloody Golgotha Pause here a while and pausing thou shalt see Thy Saviour bleeding dying dead for thee Admire rich Grace my Soul O strange Decree That Christ must be the Prisoner and not me It might have been my case that I must sup Nay drink the Dregs of this most bitter Cup. But look he yonder goes that now must die My blessed Saviour suffers and not I. Nay look again my Soul approach more near And see a Train of Virgins follow there Look there he passes by O bloody Jews That durst the Lord 's Anointed thus abuse See how they Laugh and Scoff and do at length Force him to bear his Cross above his Strength Pressing his wearied Limbs they wag the Head Make him their Sport and thus away he 's led Methinks my Heart does boil with Rage to see The Folly of these Monsters Cruelty How could the blessed Lord to send forbear Legions of Angels for his rescue here Why caus'd he not some Fire from Heaven then To fall upon these cursed wicked Men Why did he not destroy this wicked Race And pity more his Son 's distressed Case But stay my foolish Heart thou dost not know What Spirit thou art of it must be so A Debt was due to Heav'n and must be paid God calls it in and Payment must be made Sinners can ne're be safe nor get to Heaven Till Satisfaction be compleatly given This Christ well knew yet never grudg'd at'th Cost To purchase back what Bankrupt Sinners lost He left his Father's Bosom thô he knew The sad and doleful things that would ensue He knew he was to suffer bleed and die Or Sinners must be lost eternally Yet having undertaken he 'll perform For this he hither came for this end born He therefore shrinks not nor does once dispute He dies for th' sake of Sinners and is mute O sad Arraignment when the Judg must
want and cannot come But here must stay and die Answer I grant O Soul 't is Faith alone That great uniting Grace By which thou must lay hold of Christ The want of it 's thy Case Well Faith 's the Gift of God thou know'st Who biddeth thee believe And true Repentance he must give Or thou canst never live Well coming Sinner come away Be always of this Mind Thou must both knock and call and seek If Mercy thou wouldst find Lord Mercy Lord O poor Soul cry Thy Mercy Lord I crave Or here I die in Misery It 's Mercy I must have I do believe help Vnbelief My hold of Christ I 'le keep If run I cannot after thee Lord after thee I 'le creep Then Welcome Sinner unto Christ Though coming for a Dole This Faith though weak yet saving is Thy Faith hath made thee whole Backsliding Sinner come to Christ Do but for this Sin mourn And thou 'lt be welcome unto him Who bids repent and turn Relapsing Sinner come away And thou shalt quickly see Thy frequent Fall's no let at all To Christ's accepting thee Delaying Sinner hasten now Before the Door be shut He that says Come will make thee room Then Sinner arise up The hung'ring Soul may come to Christ And they that weary be The Poor that has no Price to pay May have him very free Debauched Sinner hasten in Cast off thy Sins and then He will be thine as well as mine Who di'd for th' worst of Men. Drunkards and Swearers stay not out If you 'l but come in now Such have been wash'd and cleansed too And coming so mayst thou Soul O I am fully now convinc'd If happy I would be I must away to Jesus Christ My Loit'ring ruines me Object But when I come the Devil calls Whither away so fast Thou canst no Entertainment have With Christ thy Time is past Thou art not one of those alas For whom he shed his Blood Nor art thou an elected one Stay here it is as good Soul Nay but I 'le try and hasten in O that I 'd gone before And if I cannot entrance have I 'le wait at Heaven's Door But yet methinks thy fierce Assaults Encouragement do give If I but go I' st be receiv'd And if I turn I' st live The dying Soul's last Farewel to All. FArewel the World I once did love I now have learn'd to live above Farewel my Friends and welcom Grave I better Friends in Heaven have Farewel dear Wife I cannot stay Christ bids me come I must away Farewel my Body made of Dust I must to him in whom I trust Farewel those Sins I left before I 'm going where I 'll sin no more And farewel Troubles at Decease In Heaven will be perfect Peace Farewel my earthly House and Lands A House I 'll have not made with Hands Farewel all Sorrows doleful Cries In Heaven are no weeping Eyes Nay farewel all my worldly Stuff A single Christ makes rich enough To let all go is surely best To enter on Eternal Rest Yet do not say that I am dead I 'm but undrest and gone to Bed I 'm gone you see yet do not cry Meet me in Heaven when you die The Welcom to Heaven God WElcom my Child to endless Bliss Heav'n joys to see thee here Fear not this is thy Father's House Taste freely Heaven's Chear When thou thy Saviour did'st accept This Jointure he thee made It 's Heaven he purchas'd for thee Accept be not afraid But why asham'd poor Soul come in Now thou' rt arriv'd above Thy Soul is cleans'd thy Sins forgot Think now of nought but Love Spread out the Cloth of richest Gold His Foot-cloth it shall be If he be drest then bring him forth He 'll keep me Company Come all that here attend my Throne Put on him best Attire Set on the Crown that will out shine The clearest Flames of Fire Well bid him welcom to the Court He 's one of Royal Birth I must be-friend him now he 's here He was my Friend on Earth He left the World whilst in the World Did show whilst he had Breath He loved me above the World Was faithful unto Death Soul A Bride a Child a Wife a Friend Ragg'd yet adorn'd so soon My Dunghil's changed for a Throne My Midnight's turn'd to Noon Vpon a Death-bed I did lie And there did toss and turn My Friends about me weeping stood But here shall never mourn A Hymn on Isaiah 8. 17. And I will wait upon the Lord that hideth his Face from the House of Jacob and I will look for him MY God 's withdrawn and hides his Face I cannot choose but mourn Yet still I 'll wait upon the Lord And look for his return Doctrine in Verse Sometimes the Lord not only hides His Face from single Saints But other whiles on this account Whole Churches make Complaints And when it 's thus bewilder'd Souls Know'ng scarce what course to take But still they 'l pray and cry and call And after God will make I 'll seek the Lord says such a Soul And still upon him wait Who hides his Face from Jacob's House He 'll come though's Coming's late A Meditation upon Matth. 11. 28 29 30. COme Sinner come thy Saviour calls If penitent thou be And truly weary of thy Sins Thou 'rt welcom Soul to me Take up my Yoke for it is light Account it always best To learn of one in whom alone Thou canst have solid Rest My Burthen's easy you will find When you have learn'd of me To have a meek and lowly Mind Try Sinner taste and see A Poetical Remembrance of the Reverend Mr. John Oaks who died suddenly being taken with an Apoplectick Fit in his Pulpit Lord's Day Decemb. 23 1688. with some Hints of Advice to surviving Relations composed and made by a true Lover of him and his G. D. HEark heark what means the mournful Looks and Cries The pensive bleeding Hearts and blubber'd Eyes The Throbs the Throws the Sighs which do appear With sad Complainings almost ev'ry where Why so much Drooping in a Halcion-Day When with loud Acclamations we should pay Rather a Tribute to our Prince and Peers Who seasonably have rescu'd us from Fears Why so much Sorrow now If needs must be Occasion'd by some Depths of Misery I sigh to tell you yet am hereto forc'd My Heart 's so full it must have vent or burst Great Oaks the famous Preacher's lately dead Had hardly time t' undress to go to Bed And he must sensless be who now forbears To speak with Sorrow or to write in Tears The Heart 's as hard as Flint that cannot weep When such a one as Oaks is fall'n asleep Sabbaths were here unto him a Delight And on that blessed Day he took his Flight From Earth to Heaven where he ever sings High Hallelujahs to the King of Kings Thô call'd from Sabbaths here he 'd not debate That one Eternal he may celebrate Thô Warning's short to go he
in the Evening of it take one or other of us to walk with him in the Garden where he would always commune with us of Heavenly Matters would enquire into our Proficiency by the Means of that Day would try our Knowledg in Spiritual Things and as carefully instruct us where he found Ignorance prevailing But above all which I must never forget he has so awakingly and pathetically discoursed to us about the Joys of Heaven and the Happiness of Souls being arrived there that I can say I have even longed at such a time to he out of the Body and to be with the Lord have been filled with hungring Desires to forsake the World's Husks and to taste those Dainties of my Father's House which indeed my Brother did most lively and sweetly represent to us I well remember I have then been ready with Paul to desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ At other Times he would in so sweet yet startling manner discourse to us about the Pains of Hell and the Eternal Misery of Damned Souls would so lively set forth Sin in its Black and Bloody Colours as that which brings Souls to that place of horrid Darkness that I and I believe others of my Brothers and Sisters were sussiciently startled and frighted for that Time It made me whilst the Thoughts were afresh upon me much afraid of Sin my main Reason alas being then only as I well remember that I might escape those dreadful Miseries he had represented to us I can say to the Glory of God that thorow his Blessing upon my Brother's Discourse I have had good Impressions sometimes upon me which I must sadly say too soon wore off again being but as the Morning-Cloud and as the Early Dew He would with some others of his School-Fellows who were of the same Form with himself such as Mr. John Reyner that most eminent Servant of God now in Heaven Mr. Jonathan Robinson that Pious Christian now a Bookseller in London Mr. Thomas Peachall an Attourney and divers others then well disposed frequently meet together and kept Hours nay often whole Afternoons in Religious Exercises by themselves They took their Turns for the carrying on that Work and usually discoursed from some Text of Scripture at such times and this they did from House to House doing good it 's hoped wherever they came admitting constantly of some Auditors of the House where they were My Brother was several Years at the University of Oxford and a Member of Corpus-Christi Colledg was an Universal Scholar and supposed to have but few Equals in Learning As for Physick he somewhat delighted in that Study and proved not a little useful to some upon that account I remember I my self being much out of order and weak tho not Sick at about 13 or 14 Years old many thought I was going into a Consumption the Distemper of our Family I spit Blood and had other Symptoms that he discovered he perceiving me discouraged at such their Apprehensions told me I was not far gone in that Distemper and tho it should prevail might live 20 or 30 Years He advised me to eat Raisons frequently and some time to drink my own Water every Morning which I did for several Days and through the Blessing of God most successfully Unhappy Differences when my Brother was grown a Man did too frequently fall out betwixt my Father and him which did arise sometimes a considerable height some thought my Father too strict with him in his Years of Manhood and others thought him abundance too stubborn and rebellious in his Carriage towards my Father but further mention of this matter will not become my Pen. Those Differences reduced my Brother to great Straits and I heartily blame my self who too often occasioned the Quarrels for want of Brotherly Compassion and Tenderness towards him when in Distress and I my self tho a Child in some Capacity at London to do it the Lord forgive me My Brother John died at about the Age of 16 Years at Swinderby of a deep Consumption And tho I having for some Years before been an Apprentice in London had not the advantage of intimate Acquaintance with him nor therefore of making Remarks upon him for some Years before his Death yet this I was certainly assured of by those who knew him best that he lived a very blameless and unspotted Life and died a most comfortable and happy Death resigning his Soul into the Hands of God his Faithful Creator and leaving a vain World with Joy and Comfort My Sisters Elizabeth Mary and Dorcas were all Persons that had the Fear of God before their Eyes were exemplary in Holiness and truly serious and gracious they were usually under the Eye Care and Conduct of our godly Parents and in this respect had the Advantage greatly beyond some others of us of Parental Instructions and Admonitions being constantly under a Religious Discipline their good Education the Lord gave them Hearts to improve and Grace to answer they were of good natural Tempers Lovers of God's Ordinances conscientious in the Discharge of Duties both Religious and Relative and strict in the Sanctification and Observance of the Lord's Day Elizabeth married to John Hatfield Esq of Laughton in Yorkshire Mary to Mr. Jonathan Stanyforth then of Rotheram in the same County and after of Firbeck Dorcas to Mr. Joshua Wigley of Cliff in Derbyshire All very eminent for Holiness had very competent Estates kept up Religion in the strictness of it in their Families maintained a strict Discipline and endeavoured to train up all under their Care and Charge in the Fear of the Lord. These my Sisters lived but a few Years after their Marriage with their Husbands and left them for their Lord Christ one much better My Sister Mary I think only left a Child to survive her viz. Disney Stanyforth and now under my Tuition as one of his Guardians he is at my writing this about the Age of 15 Years a comely Child of sweet Disposition extraordinary Solidity observant of Friends not morose but kind to Enemies and which crowns all one I think I may say truly fears God My Parents for whom I bless God being truly religious themselves took great care by a religious Education to make us their Children so too and that whilst young and afterwards were as careful and circumspect in the disposing of us in Marriage and Imployments to such as feared God And truly God did wonderfully answer their Prayers and bless their Endeavours for we were all of us setled and disposed herein to our Parents great Satisfaction and our own great Comfort Too few I fear consider and improve the Advantage of a religious Education though certainly a most singular and distinguishing Blessing Not to be born of Popish Pagan Turkish or Debauched Parents must needs be esteem'd a great Mercy and surely will be by those the Lord does savingly enlighten such will know how prone Corruption within will be to
and I did enjoy more of God in a few years than I had done perhaps all my Life before There indeed it was we sat under our own Vine with delight there could we go to our solemn Assemblies where Multitudes with us did keep Holy-Day there did we long enjoy our Sanctuary-Blessings none making us afraid There had I opportunity of conversing with those serious Christians in whom was my delight viz. Mr. Lupton my first Acquaintance a holy Christian and one useful loving and assisting to me in all Offices of Love whilst he lived James Coates a near Neighbour a plain Man but a hearty Christian a Person most unwearied in Labours of Love and always active in serving the Church of Christ Mr. Musson a most lively and refreshing Companion a Man of as meek humble and heavenly a Frame as any I think I ever observ'd And the Reverend my worthy good Friend Mr. Reyner who was extreamly useful whilst he liv'd and most heartily lamented when he died his Memory is precious to me and I believe will be to all good Men that knew him but these are all gone to Heaven and surely then it was time for me to leave Nottingham having before parted with so many Friends I dearly lov'd Others in Nottingham I soon got acquaintance with and People of great Worth but these named were my intimate Friends and familiar Acquaintance whom I especially valued because they fear'd God I bless God for this Experience as to my first inducing Motive to Nottingham 2. Another Reason inclining me to Nottingham being also very perswasive was this That I should come into that Town a perfect Stranger and was perswaded I should find it a much easier matter to make choice of new good Companions there than it could be to shake off my old bad Companions at Lincoln if I should settle there when the Lord toucht my Heart and set my Face Heavenwards I durst not again trust my self amongst the Snares and Temptations of those near Lincoln that had sometimes been Brethren in Iniquity with me I was now much upon my Watch my Heart having too often deceiv'd me to be much trusted I had found it too treacherous at London Swinderby Barkston and Lincoln and therefore durst not but guard it well at Nottingham Though I can say and heartily bless the Lord for the Experience God has wrought up my Heart to an universal Abhorrence of Sin and a Love to the Ways of Holiness sometimes indeed and too often Hurries of Temptation runs me into too great though blessed be God not gross Miscarriages and Pride I see at the bottom of all But O! after such Stumbles God has help'd me up again and humbled me and made me more watchful and circumspect I now experience blesbe Free-Grace God has given me a tender Conscience I am now afraid of Sin yea of any thing that looks like Sin I can indeed remember the time when I could have committed apparent Evils with less Trouble and Terror of Conscience than now through Grace the very appearance of Evil in me is accompanied with And this I do experience that all the Service that Sin has ever done me is this I have been after the more enlarg'd in Prayer I have put through assisting Grace greater Fervency into them and I have been much humbled in bewailing them and very importunate with Tears for the Lord's Pardon 3. The third Thing that perswaded me to Nottingham was that my Self Wife and all our Relations did approve of our Design when they understood the Reasons of it here we continued with great Content and Satisfaction at Mrs. Gamble's for almost a Year and half And then we finding through the Lord's Blessing our Circumstances somewhat altered and advanc'd and we in a Capacity to furnish part of a House we then concluded to take Lodgings partly furnish'd which we did and entred upon Rooms at Mr. Roger Ryley's as Tennants the 18th of February 1673. Here we had a little Family but observ'd partly the same Methods for Family-worship we do now not only for our own advantage but I hope to the advantage of several of Mr. Ryley's Family too His eldest Daughter liv'd with us and Nelly a younger Child came very often to join with us both on Week-Days and Sabbath-Days and I do trust God made us some ways useful to that Girl who I observ'd to have a good appetite to spiritual Things she came to Repetition and Catechism and indeed was pretty forward for Religion and I do hope retains her Appetite now being a Servant in the City of London We continued there not quite three Years where though we could not expect to get much good from our Neighbours in the other part of the House they being generally too carnal yet the Lord made it a comfortable Settlement in regard I trust the Lord so far blessed our weak Endeavours as that we did some good there as some of them yea Mr. Ryley himself did acknowledg But now yet finding our Condition as to worldly Matters encreasing through the Lord's Blessing and our Family also enlarging I took a House of Mrs. Smith's over against the Castle and entred upon it the 29th of September 1676 and that House we furnished compleatly the Lord pardon our Pride in that After we had continued some time here I was invited to go to Lincoln and my Father's Design then being shortly to leave that City and to live in Yorkshire at Brother Stanyforth's at Firbeck he did earnestly and importunately sollicite me by several Letters to live in Yorkshire with him His main Reasons for cohabiting were 1. That I might the better be acquainted with his Business which after him he told me would be mine 2. That he might in his old Age be eas'd in Business usually very great by my bearing a part with him 3. That we might especially be helpful one to another in the best Things for though I had reason enough from the meanness of my Abilities to believe I could be but little serviceable to him in any thing yet he was pleas'd to think otherwise and would some times take notice of my Improvements in Spirituals Once I remember before the Year 1680 he told me I having pray'd pretty much with him at that time of my being as a Visitor at Lincoln That God had given me the Gift of Prayer I reply'd to this purpose being indeed troubled in my Mind lest Gifts were all they being too in my own Apprehensions mean Sir the Gift of Prayer I look upon as nothing where there is not the Grace of Prayer it 's that I mostly desire and wait for and without which Prayers would little avail My Father to encourage as he thought my living with him told me he would turn over his Estate to me and help me whilst he liv'd in the Management of it but this was no Argument to me his Son comparable to the Commands of a Father I being through Mercy not at all of late Years
have no Worldly Affair unsetled to disturb and distract my Mind withal when upon the very Confines of another World and lying upon a Sick-Bed or Death-Bed when I desire God may have all my Thoughts and all my Time and would fain be most serious and intent upon Soul-Concerns This little Treatise in three Parts containing the most remarkable Passages of my Life that occurr'd to Memory and collected out of my Diary written in Short-hand as a last Legacy I heartily commend to thy perusal and other Friends that survive me In it I have endeavoured impartially to God's Glory to give the darker Side of a vile Wretch on Earth as well as the brighter I was long thou seest a Wanderer from God and in a most bewildred Condition on that account I knew not where to rest till I anchor'd on the Rock of Ages had no true Peace till through Mercy I clos'd with Christ the Prince of Peace Conscience then often spoke when it was not heard and flew in my Face when my Study too much was to check stifle and hush it I was then a Terror to my self and perhaps to others about me especially observing Christian Friends who fain would but then could not prevail with me to be serious strict and good I was too long God knows in the Gall of Bitterness and in the Bonds of Iniquity and O what rich Mercy was it I was not then taken from Earth and thrown into Hell that through Grace I did out-live the Years of a loose carnal freshly and unregenerate State O my Dear I cannot express the Sorrows the Terrors the Heart-break and Trouble that my youthful Follies cost me in Riper-years My Closet was witness to something and my God to more but alas all too little if Free-Grace save me not I must yet perish but of this I nothing doubt through the Merits and Mediation of my blessed Redeemer to whom I hope in Heaven to Eternity to give the Glory of what he has been pleased to give me the comfort of The Lord has fully convinc'd me that all my Prayers and Tears my Searchings and Watchings can nothing avail me without Christ God shew'd me my lost and undone Condition before I had thought of enquiring what I must do to be sav'd or of looking out after a Saviour And this through Mercy I can say that I could never have truly a quiet Minute till I was most sweetly perswaded and powerfully enabled to close with Christ as offered in the Gospel O Rich-Grace Free-Grace And now Dear-heart let me invite thee into the Embraces of blessed Jesus Come taste and try how good God is to returning Sinners I believe thou hast Well be more and more in love with Christ enter into Covenant with God and frequently renew thy Covenant-Engagements and labour to perform Covenant-Promises never think thou can'st do enough for that God thou expectest so much from nay indeed thy all that can either make thee happy here or to Eternity Some few Heads of Advice out of tender Love both to thy Soul and Body I leave with thee 1. SEttle thy Temporal Affairs and Wordly Concerns betimes that upon a Death-bed thou maist not be distracted and diverted with them from higher and more besitting Employment I delay'd making my Will too long which was no small Perplexity to my Mind till the Year 1685 when I did it 2. If thou can'st think me worthy thy Remembrance forget not shewing some Kindness to such Relations and Friends of mine who I need not name being known to thee who are Objects of Pity and need thy Charity 3. If thou do'st not incline to a Settlement in Nottingham in the House I leave thee for thy Life then be with or as near as may be some of thy Religious Friends such as may be Helpers and Promoters not Hinderers of thy eternal Welfare 4. If the Lord should again incline thee to marry dare not to join thy self in that Relation to any that is not join'd to the Lord marry one I say who in the judgment of the best of Friends as well as thine own which may in such a case deceive thee do's truly fear God nay I would advise thee to marry one of a healthful strong and sound Constitution by whom if the Lord please thou may'st have the Blessing of Children for I have reason to suppose that some Weaknesses and Infirmities whilst a Child and Young might render me less capable in that respect 5. If thou shouldest have Children train them up in the fear of the Lord help to fill Heaven with thy Off-spring 6. Having marry'd own thy Husband as thy Head submit to the Duties of a Wife for the Lord's Sake labour and pray for a meek and quiet frame of Spirit which is in the sight of the Lord of great price 7. Have some eye over and inspection into the Behaviour and Conversations of those I were some-time intrusted as Guardian for Jog and quicken Loyterers Heaven-wards mind them of their Education Counsels and Instructions and how hopeful their Beginnings were and especially regard our Child and dear Niece Brain 8. Be much in Reading and Studying good Books these I commend to thee especially viz. The Holy Bible with Pool's Annotations Swinnock's One Cast for Eternity Barrett's Christian Temper Heywood's Heart-Treasure Reyner's Precepts Dunton's Heavenly Pastime Case's God's waiting to be gracious Flavel's Fountain of Life Bolton's Tost Ship R. Allen's Rebuke to Back-sliders Janeway's Heaven upon Earth Swinnock's Regeneration Love on Heaven's Glory c. Flavel's Saint indeed Steel of Vprightness Calamy's Godly Man's Ark Hooker's doubting Soul c. Hardcastle's Christian Geography Watson on Contentment Mede's almost Christian Doolittle on the Sacrament His Call to delaying Sinners most of Bunyan's Works very useful if read without Prejudice These Books amongst others I have had much Refreshment from and heartily commend them to thee 9. Do all thou dost either in Religious or Civil Actions with an eye at Eternity thus pray and hear and read and meditate and converse and engage in all secular Affairs and discharge all relative Duties with an eye at Eternity and this will help to make thee very serious and strict 10. Spend thy Week-days well in the discharge of Duties publick and private keep an exact Diary of any sinful Miscarriages and be humbled every Evening for them take notice of God's Mercies every day and labour to have thy Heart sutably affected with the Lord's Goodness observe and pen down God's Dealings with thee and thy Carriage and Behaviour towards God this the Lord has enabled me to practise with good Success 11. Esteem of Sabhath-Days as the best of Days these are the Market-Days of thy Soul make good Provision on them for it hear the Word meditate on it digest and practise it neglect no Duties of the Day in private but most highly value Publick-Assemblies God being by them most honoured 12. Redeem Time I can from my own Experience tell thee a Review in
Exile for the Friendship of Relations at Norwell and Southwell I am there begging pardon for sinful Compliances as in sitting late in an Ale-house in Southwell where the Company were Healthing it about though blessed be the Lord I drank not much yet I was a bad Example in sitting and sipping with the Wicked in wasting my precious Time my Prayer therefore is that the Lord would pardon that and continue Mercies and give me a thankful Heart in and a lively sense of Divine Goodness The 20th being the Sabbath-day through Mercy I find my self in a pretty good Frame of Spirit and took particular notice in my Diary of Mr. Coats's Subject which was Come unto me all ye that labour c. I there find a Desire that the Lord would work those Truths more and more upon my Heart by his Spirit that my Sins may be pardoned and my Soul prosper The 21st Under some Dulness occasioned by slavish fear of Man which I find bewail'd that Day with this Petition That the Lord would enable me to live by Faith and that I might encourage my self in the Lord my God under all outward Discouragements whatsoever who has delivered me does deliver and I trust will deliver me his poor Creature O! that my Sins may not provoke the Lord to turn away his Face The 23d Having this Day been stating Accounts with my Wife and several others with reference to Disbursements the three Months in the Summer of my Exile and Troubles in the Year 85 though I find them extraordinary large yet thrô Grace I find my self free from those Passions that upon such Accounts I used to be prone to my experience again there recorded of God's gracious Appearances for me 26th Mercy there again taken notice of in the Lord 's delivering me from Trouble and a Petition That if it were the Lord's Will I might be preserved from entering into Bonds which I and all my Friends did believe would be very ensâ—â—ring to me there I find Sin bewailed and lay heavy upon my Conscience 27th Manifestations made of Deliverance still from danger I there bless God I am still at liberty and hear nothing from the D. of N. of entering into those Bonds he required I then heard of Dr. Temple's Execution and took notice of distinguishing Mercy that he should be taken and I left who through Man's Rage and Wrath was in danger I there bless God I was not the Man 27th I took notice of the many comfortable Sabbaths that I have enjoyed since I came home without Fear or Disturbance Cousin Billingsley preached here from these Words Commune with your own Hearts which much affected me 28th A like Account as to Mercy and I remember no actual Sin that Day 29th The like Account with my Experience that God had blessed the means I had used for the cure of a Cold that held me 8th of October 1685 This day I returned from Lincoln where I had been some time and took notice the Lord gave me a very comfortable Journey no sad Providence occurred in the Journey I am yet delivered from Enemies notwithstanding their Rage and Threatning and from the ensnaring Bonds I begg'd then of the Lord That he would continue this Mercy and give me to live a thankful holy humble and fruitful Life and pardon the particular Sins of this Day and help me against it and to perform Promises made under my Afflictions 9th I there bless God for the Mercies of that Day and beg pardon for my Sins and that the Lord will cause me to live better the next Day 10th My Sins stare me in the Face being many and great there I find my self begging that I might eye the Blood of Christ and might through Grace be interested in it being the only Sovereign Remedy for a poor Sinner yet I am preserved from ensharing Bonds and enjoy through Mercy comfortable Liberty and sit under my own Vine with delight 11th This I find a comfortable Sabbath when Mr. Coats did most sweetly call invite and encourage Sinners to come to Christ O! that I may not stand out the Lord bless the Sermon to my poor Soul and pardon my Sins 12th No actual Sin that I know of I this Day begg'd Direction from Heaven about the Oath of Allegiance I and others in my Family were called to take and next day I did take it having observed no Intimations from the Lord against it but being well satisfied about it besides I feared if I refused it would be worse with us upon the account of our Meetings which I did desire to keep up I beg the Lord would enable me to keep the Oath being taken as a sacred Thing I am yet at liberty and free from ensnaring Bonds 15th I that Day begg'd the Lord would humble me under any thing of Sin that might be in my Swearing and taking the Oath the Day before 16th This Day Mr. H. acquainted me that one did say That the Lord would lie heavy upon me that I was to give a Security by Bond of 7000 l. which would ask a great time for me to get and that I was only Capt. L's Prisoner at large Well I find this hint in my Diary that Day That I can trust my God who has delivered me and that he will deliver me still from the Fury and Rage of Men and the Effects thereof 17th This Day I had an encouraging Letter from V. L. as if the Duke had done with me which I begg'd then the Lord would grant and enable me to live up to so great a Mercy For several other days after I am blessing God for the comfortable and quiet abode in my House and petition'd that the Lord would keep me from sinning away such Mercies 20th Wasting Time the great Sin acknowledged this Day and a Petition that the Lord would please to make me more active and diligent in Soul-concerns every Day as being every Day nearer Death 22d This Day I observe from Joh. 7. 44. in my reading this Passage Some of them would have taken him but no Man laid Hands on him Upon which Mr. Baxter has this Note God binders bad Men from doing what they would do and they know not how he doth it I have had great Experience of this my self the Lord be praised 25th This Day God made a very comfortable Sabbath to me and I trust will do my Soul good by it and set home another Sermon I then heard from Mr. Cotes concerning the Ease of Christ's Yoke I am yet through Mercy continued in my Family in Peace and Safety enjoy distinguishing Mercy and Love God help me to make a right use of it and still restrain Men that they do not hurt me and enable me to give thee the Glory of that Mercy thou pleasest to give me the Comfort of 26th This Day I was at Cos R's Funeral the Lord prepare me for my Change I came from thence over a dangerous way in Safety 27th God has this Day preserved
sent Through Mercy I am in good Health and am hourly waiting for like Tidings from thee if the Lord please I make Madam L's House my Home who treats me with much Kindness and Civility and I hope the same as to the best things that ever thee was I pray thee give my hearty Tenders to all our good Friends and accept the tenderest Affections from Thy G. Disney Let me receive thy farther Commands while in Town Now comes the Copy of the Letters I received which like Job's Messengers came with Tidings sadder and sadder O surely surely I have more than ordinarily provoked a good God who writes bitter things now against me A Copy of my Wife's Letter to me at London dated 5 Days before her Death being May 24 86. My Dear I Received thine to day with a great deal of Joy but especially rejoiced to hear of thy Health I wish I could send thee the same good News of my self Since thou left me it has pleased God my Distemper did again return on me so that I was forced to send for Mr. Garner and by his Advice and other Friends about me Dr. Horsman It troubles me to think I should put thee to so great Charge but I know thou wilt think it well bestow'd I bless God I am much better than I have been and now live in hopes to see thee again it was a great Trouble to me thou wert so far off On Wednesday Night going to Bed I was seized with a Pain in my right Arm and so struck into my Side which was very troublesome to me all that Night but it is well gone off My Stoppage by Fits is yet very troublesome but not so ill as it was I need not pray thee hast home if I should be worse thou shalt not fail to hear next Post My Dear dear Love to thee is all but that I am Thy Loving Wife R. D. A Copy of a Letter from Mr. Coats May 29 1686. the Day of my Dear Wife's Death but before she died Honoured and Dear Sir YOU have by this time I suppose received a Letter from Madam Disney's own Hand which I know would be more welcome than this from me I presume she gave you an account how it was with her then and as she told me promis'd you that in case she was worse you should hear by the next Post We were much revived with the sensible Change we saw in her for the better and Madam Slack and Madam Spateman who have both been here left her on Tuesday in great hopes of Recovery but yesterday Morning her Distemper returned again and yesterday she was worse the Doctor by a good Providence as we may call it was detain'd here longer than he designed and seeing her now so weak will not as yet leave her I do believe he is a little doubtful of her Recovery but Dear Sir cast her upon the Care and Skill of the great Physician who is able to raise her from the Dust of Death We desire you would hasten down with what speed you can and it may please the Lord you may see her yet in the Land of the Living She has had little Rest to Night till about 4 a Clock this Morning and is now slumbring the great God in whose Hands her Life and Breath is still spare her to you and us however help you silently to submit to his holy Will and Pleasure Many Remembrances here are of Friends to you greatly longing for your speedy and safe Return the Lord hear Prayer on her behalf and prevent what we fear The All-sufficient God be your Protector Comforter and Guide This with my humble Service and Respects to your self must conclude these Lines from Sir Your much obliged Friend and Servant in the Lord Sam. Coats A Copy of Mr. Coats's Second Letter the same Day giving account of the sad Tydings of my Dear Wife's Death Dear Sir WIth a trembling Hand and Heart I now set Pen to Paper I writ to you this Morning to give you account how Ill your Dear Lady and my very Dear Friend was but now the great Physician has wrought a perfect Cure upon her by taking her to himself out of a miserable sinful World I do know the Stroke will lie heaviest upon you that God has taken away the Delight of your Eyes with a Stroke but there are divers others will feel much of it too Here is a poor sad Family indeed and your absence at such a distance makes it much sadder the Mighty God be your Support under so severe a Stroke of his Hand and sanctify it to you all It is our Loss but her Gain she is I know at rest but where her Joy begins there begins likewise your and our Sorrow Yet Dear Sir sorrow not as them that have no hope for her who now sleeps in the Bosom of her dear Lord Jesus I am satisfied nothing was wanting to her that the Doctor could do but the Great God had a better Place and better Company and better Employment for her than a vain World could afford We are afraid the Post will be gone before this Letter reach Nottingham and must therefore conclude begging of God to support you under so sad a Stroke and make up your and our Loss in a Covenant-Interest in himself I am Your affectionate but sorrowful Friend and Servant Sam. Coats These Letters coming all together were very surprising to me at the sight of them I felt a trouble in my Mind though I had before longingly waited for Tidings from my Dear Wife whose Illness I then knew nothing of I feared to open them took them up and laid them down several times before I broke them open which being at last opened I was overwhelmed with Grief and Sorrow at the Tidings being unable to contain my self within due Bounds my Man not knowing the meaning of it nor I able to tell him asked me again and again how all was and particularly whether his Mistress was well I at last told him she was for she was got to Heaven but I was miserable I then went to Madam L. who was a hearty sympathizer with me in my Trouble did much refresh me and shewed indeed a great deal of Sorrow and Concern beyond Expression That Night I went not to Bed next Morning by 6 a Clock set forward for the Country that Journey being the saddest that ever I took in my Life I got to Leicester on Tuesday Night and there met Dr. H. by sending for him who gave me then some of many of the comfortable Passages of my Dear Wife's last Hours that she had one grievous Fit after I was gone to London but through Mercy was well recovered that she fell into a Relapse and was then under discouraging Symptoms that she much desired to see me and asked the Doctor whether he could not give her one Word of Comfort that she might live to see me he told her he could tell her in the Morning but
prosper that love her I am Madam Your most obliged Friend and humble Servant G. D. A Letter to Mr. Lob at London Jan. 25 83. SIR I Receiv'd your very kind Letter and Christian Lines some time since and had return'd you my Thanks sooner had not extraordinary Business prevented I have cause to bless God for your Acquaintance and for that Christian Society I had with you whilst at London O that I could be as serviceable to you in the best things as you have been to me Poor unworthy Me who needs jogging Heavenwards It 's with us as with others a very dark and gloomy Day but Light is sown for the Righteous who shall reap if they faint not and Gladness for the upright in Heart as the Psalmist speaks O that we could be like the Doves of the Valley mourning after the Lord who seems to be departing from us The Sons of Violence with us act high our Sufferings many but O that none of these things may move us neither may we account our Lives dear to us if call'd to lay them down for the Sake of Christ and his Gospel If the Lord give us but a fixed Heart that we can trust in him we need not then be afraid of the worst times nor the saddest of Tidings but may encourage our selves in the Lord our God under the greatest Discouragements from Men whatsoever Surely the People of God have greatly provok'd God O that we may repent and return to him that smiteth God will certainly arise in the behalf and plead the Cause of his People he will work Deliverance for Sion if not in our time yet in his O that this may satisfy us And that when Foundations seem to be out of course we may with Faith and Patience look up to the Rock of Ages Dear Sir pray for us and for me in particular who need your Prayers that my Faith fail not that I may with Constancy and Courage own the good Ways of God and hold fast my Integrity the very desire of my Soul being to keep close to God I would fain win as many into Heaven's-ways and as much strengthen such Hands as hang down as such an unworthy Wretch as I may What Interest I have at the Throne of Grace I hope shall not fail to be improv'd for the Church of God and for you my dear Friend Being Sir Your hearty well-wishing Friend and Humble Servant G. D. A Letter to Mrs. Sarah Reyner one of my Charge Jan. 85. Dear Mrs. Sarah I Receiv'd yours which though the first receiv'd is not I perceive the first sent for which I thank you and have according to your Desire sent you by paying it to Mr. Charleton's Clerk 50 s. I much wonder your Sister Elizabeth would not vouchsafe me one Line since she left the Country but however do rejoice to hear upon enquiry you both do well as to this World and I would fain hope you will not be negligent in minding the Affairs of a better World nor dare be regardless of your precious and immortal Souls You are both the Children of Religious Parents have been blest with a good Education and many Prayers are I believe lodg'd in Heaven for you so that you cannot miscarry at so cheap a rate as others may who have not had your Advantages for being good O that I could prevail with you to live up to such distinguishing Mercy You have I perceive good Settlements in the World bless God for that But O! are you well setled and interested in Christ Have you made sure of a Treasure in Heaven have you laid hold on eternal Life and secured the everlasting Welfare of your precious Souls Be your worldly Accommodations never so great till this be done your Work is not half done You are in a City of great Advantages I pray attend upon the best most powerful Soul-searching and Conscience-awakening Ministry you can with the Leave of those who are your Superiâ—rs Be thorow-pac'd in the Ways of God dare not to be slighty and indifferent in the Family-Duties I hope you are priviledged withal nor to neglect Closet-Duties as Prayer Reading the Scriptures Self-Examination Meditation and the like at least Morning and Evening Shun and avoid Temptations as much as may be considering the great Corruption and Depravedness of Nature Remember your Creator in the Days of your Youth and having set your Face Heavenward look not back It will be much my Rejoycing to see you and all of you the Off-spring of most pious Relations now with God do well and if my poor Prayers and Endeavours may any ways contribute hereto they are not they have not they shall not through Grace be wanting I being Yours c. G. D. Some Passages of a Letter in answer to my Mother Disney complaining of Decay of her Sight Honoured Mother I Return you my humble Thanks for your welcom Lines and do hope that the uncertainty of my Man's last Journey to Lincoln will excuse my then Silence It troubles me much to hear of your Eyes Decaying and Dimming which as you please to observe is one Effect of old Age It 's great Mercy the Lord has given you the use of them so long but far greater that he has given you a Heart to use them to his Glory and your own and others Benefit and Advantage I fear your too much Reading in the Day-time and at all by Candle-light has and does that way prove prejudicial to you I would therefore humbly beg you to favour them as much as may be and this am consident of would you please to take up your Abode with us there 's no Eyes in my Family but would chearfully and readily be at your Service to excuse and preserve your own which I trust the Lord will yet continue to you My good Aunt Thornton I am perswaded will not be against my improving this Argument for the Enjoyment of your good Companies here most desirable to us My Eyes I can perceive are not so strong as they have been O that as our bodily Eyes dim and decay the Eye of Faith may grow more clear for certainly a Look within the Vail must be most refreshing and supporting to a gracious Soul and a renewed Mind Those indeed that see best in our Days with bodily Eyes see en'e little or nothing but what has a sad and frightful Aspect and may occasion Matter of sad Thoughts but by Faith we may look into an unseen World take a View of unseen Comforts and live upon unseen Riches and Happiness which are the most pleasant things the most certain and the most lasting The worst in this World need not nay cannot dismay us Whilst we look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen for the things which are seen are temporal but the things which are not seen are eternal 2 Cor. 4. 18 c. A Letter to Mr. Whitaker Jan. 24 1683. SIR THis Day I receiv'd yours till
wherein is Rending and Tearing Work with more of himself and the Influences of his Blessed Spirit O Brother it's one of the bravest Sights in the World to see a Christian in the Exercise of Grace sutable to the Dispensation to see him acting Faith Patience Humility Submission Resignation and Divine Joy in a time of pressing Affliction This will recommend Religion to the World and convince the Men of it there 's more in it than meer Talk Heartily glad we should be if you would come for a while to London to divert your self here among good Men I hope it might be for your Advantage and do conclude it highly necessary for you a while to leave Kirkstead we all send our hearty Remembrances to you and yours the Lord fit us all for our great and last Change and in the midst of our private Losses let us remember the Affliction of Sion So prays Your sympathizing Brother and Servant G. Disney POEMS The Damneds Doom or some Meditations in Verse upon the last great Sentence at the Day of Judgment made by me Jan. 1685 upon Mr. Dunton's Paraphrase of Mat. 25. 41. Depart from me ye Cursed into everlasting Fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels Dunton's Heavenly Past-time pag. 96. HEark heark the Trumpet sounds the Court is met Christ as Chief Justice on the Bench is set Adorn'd with glorious Robes and rich Attire Not now abas'd on Earth advanced higher Guarded by Saints and Angels such as they Must all attend the Service of this Day He who when Prisoner here was forc'd to stand And at a Mortal's Bar hold up his Hand Was mock'd at spit upon reproach'd and bled Must now be Judg alone of Quick and Dead Thô here debased yet now Heaven rings With Hallelujahs to this King of Kings Jesus Call forth the Prisoners then they must appear To answer for themselves thô Crimes are clear Hear what they 'l say thô all they say alas Can never â—inder th' Sentence that must pass Sinners appear come forth your Graves arise You all are summon'd to the grand Assize You called are into the great Court-Royal And may not stay you must attend your Trial Make way for wretched Prisoners there make room They 'r going to receive their final Doom But now methinks I see those trembling Souls Gazing about to find some hiding Holes Calling to Rocks to hide them but in vain For such late Calls and Cries can nought obtain Their Hearts were hardned in a Day of Grace When God did sweetly call and give them space For to repent and now those rocky Stones Has no regard at all unto their Groans The Mountains will not fall to hide them from The Wrath of him that sitteth on the Throne O what a Sight I see the wretched State Of Fools bewailing Folly when too late From Hell and Graves they come but must not stay They are to pass Accounts and so away Now Soul and Body meets and must remain By Righteous Sentence in eternal Paâ—â— They Partners were in Sin whilst here below And must together groan in endless Wâ— The Graves do open and the Prisoners rise And now methinks I hear the dolâ—ful Cries Of those poor Sinners who on Earth took Pains To make their Souls as black and full of Stains As any could be grudging always when They were out-stripâ— in Sin by any Men Methinks I hear their Pleas and see them quaking And all the little Shifts they would be making And all because they would appear at th' Bar Of God a little better than they are The griping Vsurer now looks about To find some better Hands than his Hands 〈◊〉 Which he do's well remember heretofore Did often by Extortion wrong the Poor The Wanton dare not own his wanton Eye I must says he have better or I die Mine oft unâ—hastly upon Women gaz'd And for laseivious Looks I stand amaz'd The Lawyer would reject his gâ—lded Tongue By which be Thousands in the World did wrong He knows that he being fee'd or brib'd ne're stood To make a good Cause bad a bad Cause good The Gallant dare not own his strutting Feet Which often â—rudg'd thrâ— thick and thin to meet A dirty Whore or hectoring drunken Friend To help him vainly precious Time to spend My Feet were swift in running to do Evil I must have other Feet or go to th' Devil The Politician dares not own his Head Another he would fain have in its Stead What that contriv'd he always was pursuing And finds his wicked Brain was his undoing Some they would part with Fingers and would have E'ne any Fingers out of any 's Grave So they may miss their own which was too beâ—â— To sign Decrees against the Innocent Thieves they would part with Hands and Liars Tongues The Instruments of many grievous Wrongs Long-winded Sinners they would part with Lungs The Hypocrite too has a mind to part With his to change it for a better Heart Ill-minded Sinners now would change their Mind For any others of a better Kind And others other things would swap if then They might hereby but pass for better Men Kings would disown their Crowns and Grandure too And now appear in Rags if that woâ—ld do But O! prodigious Madness herein's shown Eâ—r every one must keep what was his own And wicked Men must see their monstrouâ— Folly Who would not whilst on Earth be strict and holy Well! are the Prisoners come then let them hear They must my Wrath and Fury ever bear Sentence Depart 〈◊〉 sed Wretches ne're return Into a Fire that must always burn Prepared for the Devil and a Crew Of wicked Wretches just like such as you Prisoner Ah dreadful Word Depart and that from thee Must needs be th' upshot of all Misery Lord let me stay but here the Sinner â—ries My clamorous Conscience and my blubbring Eyes May Tormoâ—â— be enough dear God abate Some pity shew me for my â—retch'd Estate Is such I cannot bear let Sentence be A little bated by a Sight of thee Judg. Nay Sinner â—noâ— my Presence heretofore Thou did'st noâ— like thô offer'd o're and o're Thou would not entertain me in thy Heart And now my Sentence Sinner â—â— Depart An offered Christ and Pardon thou didst slight And what can follow on 't but dismal Night Prisoner And must I now depart and undergo This dreadful heaâ—y Doom yet let me know That thoâ—â—ilâ— bless me Lord and then I caâ— Refresh my Soul with this where â—'re I am I 'm loth to go but if I must I crave That I before may Heaven's Blessing have Jesus Sinner be gone nay more I must thee tell My Curse shall go along with thee to Hell My Blessing thou despis'd for many Years And canst not have it now thô sought with Tears Thou must for ever fry and flame and rot Depart then Sinner for I know thee not Prisoner And must I be accurs'd and never see Thy blessed Face again then Lord let me Find out for an