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A77267 The penitent pilgrim bemoning his sinfull condition. Faith appeares vnto him affording him comfort hope seconds that comfort charity promiseth him in this vaile of missery to cover all his scarlett sins wth: [sic] ye white robe of mercy, & conduct him safly to ye kingdome of glory. By Io: Hall Brathwaite, Richard, 1588?-1673, attributed name.; Hall, John, 1627-1656, attributed name.; Herdson, Henry, attributed name.; Le Blon, Christof, d. 1665, engraver. 1651 (1651) Wing B4275aA; ESTC R224400 106,709 434

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hope of future happinesse this very promise of long dayes might have brought thee to Obedience But alas this was the lowest of my thoughts the least of my cares I desired in mine Heart to be the Master of an estate before Nature would allow me it I took my portion and went away into a farre Countrey And there I plaid the riotter till I became a miserable Begger Then and never till then did I consider what I had done For by this time had I forgot my Fathers House So long and so sweetly had I been ●ulled in the Lappe of Sin But having now reap'd the fruites of my Disobedience I begun to have a remorse of Conscience and to have some small sensible feeling of repentance But never till such time as I had fed freely of those empty huskes of vanity and found my selfe so miserably poor as if I return'd not back to my Fathers House I might of necessity perish there were no remedy Nay I must to my shame confesse it that such was my disobedience and so crooked my will amidst my greatest necessities that this my aversion from evill and conversion to good rather proceeded from want of meanes then sincerity of will For had my Portion continued the arme of Sin had been nothing shortned And yet had my want brought mee to this naturall consideration as to thinke with my selfe what Parents were What benefits I had received from them how they had done for mee what I could never possibly do for them How Creatures endued onely with sense by a naturall instinct bore that tender love and obedience to their Parents as in their age they foster'd them on their wings they carried them desiring rather that they themselves should perish then their Parents suffer which gave a being unto them But these Considerations onely floated upon the Waters of mine heart they never sunck A naturall pronenesse to obey the Lusts of my Flesh hung such heavy poizes on the Wings of my Obedience as they kept me from mounting desiring rather to dye then wholly to leave my rebellion Thus was I never weary of transgressing till my transgressions became weary of mee Neither was I sensible of what disobedience meant till I was brought to a Consideration of it through want Wo is mee How could I promise to my selfe length of dayes when I had disseised my selfe of that promise by my disobedient wayes How could I be lesse then rejected of my Father in Heaven who had borne my selfe so disobediently to my Father on Earth How could I look for an inheritance falling so desperately into all disobedience O my deare Lord to whom Obedience is better then Sacrifice call mee now home unto thee Let me no longer run on in my rebellious Course Like a Childe that feareth to be beate let mee tremble at thy judgments Like a Child that flyeth into his Fathers lappe let mee kisse thee for thy mercies Correct mee O Lord but not in thine anger for how shall I stand in thy displeasure O I know as there is no Sonne whom a Father will not correct with the rod of his love so is there no Father who has not a desire to deliver his Sonne Correct me O Lord as thou art my Saviour oh let it never be in thine heavy displeasure CHAP. 18. His contempt of the Second in his practising mischiefe against his Neighbour ONe may commit murder and shed no blood The very thoughts of our hearts may become Conspirators against our Neighbour and so wee murder him in our desires Caine slew his brother Abel which made him turne Runnagate by flying from Gods presence O how often have I staine my brother in conceiving cruell thoughts which reflected upon his life fame and substance O how often have I in mine heart wished a sudden end unto mine Enemy And yet I was perswaded hee was not well prepared for death when I wished this unto him so as my desires were bent to murder him both in soule and body by wishing him so sudden and unprepared a death in his departure from the body Yea I will confesse against my selfe and with much bitternesse of heart will I acknowledge it that neither rich nor poore have beene freed from those murdering imaginations which my corrupt heart had secretly nursed For if he were rich I murdered him with Envy And in this act not only him but my selfe Wasting and eating up my owne marrow consuming my owne strength and falling away with a languishing desire of others ruine Againe were he poore I to my power murdered him by holding from him the staffe of bread when I might have relieved him by grating and grinding the face of the needy by oppressing him injuriously by laying heavier burdens on him then hee could beare O how can I remember these and sinke not downe with the horror of them Can I think that just God who heares the Orphans cry and bottles up the Widowes teares will not avenge himselfe of these things Can hee tender his little ones not revenge himselfe of those who make a prey and spoile of his little ones O no my Lord I know my guiltinesse is not hid from thee Nay I know well thou hast thy Bow ready bent and thine Arrowes in thy Quiver to shoot at the malicious and evill doer even at him that is of a subtile and deceitfull heart How then may I make my peace with thee How may I find favour in thy sight what shall I bee able to answer for my selfe against those my many Accusers While here one proves how I sought his life and with many bitter imprecations discovered my malice unto him Another accuseth me with impeaching his good name that precious perfume of every good man The third of his Substance saying that my wishes were often that he might be rest of it or it of him or that I my selfe might enjoy it with the losse of him Thus like a cruell and bloody Nimrod have I hunted for blood And though I did not actually shed it yet in desiring it and not seeking where I might to prevent it I cannot plead lesse then that I am guilty of it Now my fact is so foule that should I with the poore condemned Prisoner demand my Booke I could not hope to have the benefit of it yet there is a Booke wherein I have read what may afford mee much comfort by it At what time soever a sinner doth repent him of his sinne from the bottome of his heart I will put away all his wickednesse out of my remembrance saith the Lord. It is the Lord that hath said it even he who as hee is gracious in his promise so is hee faithfull in his performance Hence is my trust that though my sinnes be as red as scarlet the blood of the Lambe will make them white Though my garments bee all red as those who came from Bosro my Saviour has in store a white roabe for me As white as the snow of
task was wearisome to thee and thy mind was elsewhere wandring and would not stay with thee and canst thou now thinke that so rich a kingdom would keep it selfe for thee when thou wouldst neither knock that it might be opened to thee nor seeke that it might be found of thee Health thou know'st well commeth not from the clouds without seeking nor wealth from the clods without digging And yet Heaven must be got without knocking or seeking But great prizes are not to bee so purchased For as Heavens Gate is straite and few there be that enter so are our tribulations to be many that we may be of that few that shall enter But I heare thee now cry out as one that had some sense of his sinne and of the losse hee has incurred by sinne Woe is mee I cannot looke upon this Earth I tread on without blushing nor can I thinke upon Death without sorrowing nor the day Iudgement without trembling nor of Hell without shaking nor of the joyes of Heaven without astonishing For Earth I loved it so well and well might I blush at my selfe for for bestowing my love so ill as the remembrance of Death became sorrowfull For by it I understood how I was to be brought to Iudgement of all others most fearefull and from thence as having nothing to answer in mine owne defence I was to bee haled to Hell a place dismall and dolefull And consequently to forfeit all my title and interest in Heaven which could not chuse but astonish mee being a place so joyfull This I like well in thee for this knowledge of thine infirmity may bring thee to look for remedy and by degrees to find recovery Ioyne then with mee and offer up thy prayer to the Throne of grace that He in his mercy would looke upon thee Gracious God though I bee altogether unworthy to lift up mine eyes unto heaven or to offer up my prayers unto thee much lesse to be heard by thee yet for his merits and mercies sake who sitteth at thy right hand and maketh intercession for me reserve a place in thine heavenly Kingdome for mee Deare Lord in thine House are many Mansions O bring me thither that I may joyne my voyce with those voyces of the Angels and sing prayses to thee who sittest in the highest Heavens for ever CHAP. 70. With the Remembrance of these Hee becomes afflicted in Spirit O But yet I find my soule like dry ground where no water is wheresoever I turne mee I find affliction and misery on all sides encompassing mee O what shall I doe where shall I fly to For behold while I take my selfe aside from the world into some with-drawing roome purposely to forget the world and prepare my selfe for the joyes of a better life while I say I beginne to commune with my owne thoughts in the secret Chamber of mine heart I become so affrighted with the representment of those foure last Remembrances as I wholly forget what I intended to speake my tongue beginnes to cleave to the roofe of my mouth my spatle is dryed within mee those active faculties of my soule leave mee and mine understanding departeth from mee O Death Death How bitter is the remembrance of thee O how mee thinkes thou summons mee and like a surly Guest breakest in upon mee nay uninvited resolvest to lodge with mee And presently I feele my selfe wounded and so mortally as not to be cured O how my divine eye-sight now darkneth my painting breast beateth my hoarse throat rutleth how my teeth by little and little grow black and draw to them a kind of rust how my countenance growes pale and all my members stiffe how every sense and faculty failes how my wasted body threatneth a speedy dissolution yet desires my poore soule to bee a Guest still though there be cold comfort to bee found in such a forlorne Inne but what are all these terrors of Death to that fearefull day of Iudgement when at the sound of the Trumpe all flesh shall rise where none may be exempted but all judged O me Death is nothing unto this For what comparison betwixt a Death temporall and eternall And such shall be the sentence of every Reprobate amongst which I the chiefe O how terrible will that great Iudge appeare to such as in this life would neither be allured by his promises nor awakened with his judgements O how dolefully will that voyce sound in their eare Depart from me I know you not And how ready will that officious Iaylor bee upon the delivery of this heavie sentence to hale them to utter darkenesse a place of endlesse torments where the cursings and howlings of Fiends and Furies shall entertaine their melodious care ougly and hideous sights shall entertaine their lascivious eye loathsome stenches their delicious smell sulphur and brimstone their luscious taste graspings and embracings of snakes their amorous touch Anguish and horror every sense where those miserable damned soules shall be tormented both in their flesh and spirit In their flesh by fire ever burning and never decaying and in their spirit by the worme of Conscience ever gnawing and never dying where there shall bee griefe intolerable feare horrible filth incomparable death both of soule and body without hope of pardon or mercy And now to cloze with the last the losse whereof exceeds our sufferings in all the rest O to consider how I unhappy I have not onely got Hell the Lake of horror and misery but lost Heaven the place of endlesse joy and felicity O what heart can consider it and not resolve it selfe into a Sea of teares in contemplation of it For what may the wretched soule thinke when she lifteth up the beames of her mind and beholdeth the glory of those immortall riches and withall considereth how shee has lost all those for the poverty of this life O how can shee bee lesse then confounded with anguish how can shee doe lesse then rore forth in the affliction of her Spirit Againe when shee shall cast her eyes below her and take a full view of the vale of this world and perceive how it was but as a mist and presently looking above her admires the beauty of that eternall light shee presently concludeth that it was nothing else but night and darkenesse which shee here loved O how shee fainteth faltereth and fruitlesly desireth that shee might but have some small remainder of time allotted her what a sharpe course what a severe manner of conversation would shee take upon her what and how great promises would be made by her with what strict bonds of devotion would shee seemingly tye her But this must not bee granted her as shee had her full of pleasures here so must shee now bee tormented for ever O how my Spirit with the remembrance of these becomes afflicted O who will heale mee for I am wounded O my gracious and deare Lord out of thy boundlesse compassion looke upon my grievous affliction Keepe not
that they may perform their proper offices to the good both of my soule and body making it ever their absolutest ayme to promote thy glory CHAP. 62. Being thus encompassed with danger hee prepares himselfe for prayer VVHat Sanctuary have I now to retire to or what Refuge may I fly to when I have nothing within mee but practiseth rather to betray mee then free me nothing without mee that may any way availe mee now when dangers of all sorts and on all sides thus encompasse me O my good God I have one in readinesse for thou hast prepared it for mee and by it shall I in due time receive comfort from thee The direction is short and soveraigne If any bee afflicted let him pray and if hee be merry let him sing Psalmes I am afflicted Lord I am inwardly afflicted I will therefore take the wings of the morning and fly with the Dove till I may find some resting place for the soale of my foot till I may bring an Olive-branch in my bill and so bring glad tydings to my poore Soule that the floods of waters are returned backe which have not onely for many dayes but many years encompassed me Those bitter waters of Marah those swelling floods of affliction which have gone over my Soule In the old world when Noahs Arke was builded and all the inhabitants of the earth to the number of eight reduced fifteene cubits onely did the waters prevaile upward and covered the Mountaines But the waters of my affliction have mounted higher they have bound in my soule and brought her downe to the depths High time then is it to fly for succour lest the water-floods swallow mee up and the remembrance of mee bee no more I will direct therefore my Prayer unto God for hee is a God of mercy and all consolation he will take pitty of my affliction and in his appointed time rid me of all my feares But alas though I know the way where comfort is to bee received and the doore of the Sanctuary be open to receive mee in it yet so long have I estranged my selfe from it and so unacquainted am I with the exercise of Prayer as I know not in what forme or manner to make it For when I looke upon my selfe and consider how luke-warme has beene my conversation how earthly my affection how feigned my confession how short and rare my compunction how my obedience has been without devotion my prayer without intention my reading without edification my speech without circumspection I grow ashamed of my condition acknowledging nothing to bee due unto mee but reproach and confusion For when at any time I pray I mind not what I pray nor to whom I pray how may I then hope for any helpe from him to whom I pray or that my prayer shall bee heard by him seeing I my selfe doe not heare my selfe in the prayer which I make unto him The pretious stone Diacletes though it have many rare and excellent properties in it yet it loseth them all if it be put in a dead mans mouth So Prayer which is the only soveraigne pearle and Iewell of a Christian though it have many rare and exquisite vertues in it many promises conferred on it yet it loseth them every one if it be put into a mans mouth or into a mans heart either that is dead in sinne and doth not knock with a pure heart For Prayer without devotion is like the bellowing of Oxen. O where am I then whose imaginations have beene evill from my youth whose life has beene a sinke of sinne and whose heart has beene a stranger to devotion how and in what manner may I pray in hope to be heard how shall I render up my Supplication that it may be received how shall I offer my Sacrifice of thanksgiving that it may be accepted O my deare Lord as thou hast taught me to pray so teach mee how to pray Put sweet incense into the Censor and that it may burne the better inflame my heart with spirituall fervor Behold Lord I fly unto thee open the doore of thy Sanctuary unto mee that I may enter and offer up my prayer to thee after that absolute forme of prayer which thou thy selfe hast taught 〈◊〉 CHAP. 63. He repeats the Lords prayer and in every particular he finds himselfe a great Offender OVr Father which art in heaven Oh make a stoppe here poore Pilgrim before thou goest any farther Hast thou a Father in Heaven where is the duty thou shouldst tender Dost thou use him like a Father much lesse like an heavenly Father when thou preferrest the pleasures of sin before his honour Hallowed bee thy name Oh with what tongue canst thou utter hallowed seeing his name hath been by thee so much dishonoured Thy Kingdome come O shake and tremble fearefull to thee will bee the comming of his Kingdome seeing thou by ascribing to thy selfe what was due unto him shalt bee accused of seeking to rob him of his Kingdome When the foundation of the earth shall be shaken the whole world dissolved and thou brought forth naked to be publikely judged Thy will be done Oh dissembling wretch dost thou pray that his Will may be done when thou never yet with thy Will didst that which thou shouldst have done nor what thou knewest well was his Will to be done In Earth as it is in Heaven And yet has it beene the least of thy care on Earth to doe his will as it is done in heaven Give us this day our daily bread Oh has he not granted thy suite has he not strengthned thee with the staffe of bread But hast thou walked in the strength thereof to his honour or requited him with an offering of his owne by sowing thy bread upon the waters And forgive us our trespasses Oh they are many many in quantity heavy in quallitie yet as a sparke in the Sea so has hee drowned them in the Ocean of his mercy As wee forgive them that trespasse against us O consider well the particle of this petition examine thine heart whether thou hast or no performed the condition Thou desirest but to be forgiven as thou dost forgive oh forgive then that thou maiest bee forgiven Few be the areeres which thou canst demand of thy Brother in comparison of those which are owing by thee to thy Maker And lead us not into temptation And yet thou wilt not stick to lead thy selfe into temptation He is ready to bestow his grace upon thee to send his Holy Spirit to guide thee to spread his Banner over thee yet while thou prayest not to bee led into temptation thou willingly leadest thy selfe into that which thou in thy prayer desirest to prevent But deliver us from evill Oh how many deliverances has he shewn unto thee How often has hee snapped in pieces the Speare which might have dispatched thee Broken those Arrowes which might have wounded thee Taken thy foot out of the snare which had intrapped
thee Nay how often hast thou gone downe even unto the gates of Hell and least thou shouldst enter in he with-held thee How often hast thou drawne neare even to the gates of death and lest they should take thee in hee preserv'd thee Thus hath hee delivered thee from all evill and yet for all this good which hee has done thee thou hast requited him with evill And now thou concludest For thine is the Kingdome power and glory for ever and ever Amen Oh how ready thou art here to acknowledge his power and yet to deny it in thy life But confesse thou must his power not onely with mouth but heart and practise of a good life if ever thou meanest to partake with him in the Kingdome of glory O my sweet Saviour as thou hast taught mee by this absolute forme of Prayer how I am to make my prayer and hast promised to grant me my request if I pray effectually as I ought so kindle in my heart true devotion tbat no place may be left for distraction Here thou hast taught how and in what manner I am to pray O let me not lose the benefit of it by losing my selfe when I pray CHAP. 64. He renders a private account of his Faith and in every article of the Creede hee finds a fainting failing weaknesse and want I Beleeve in God the father Almighty maker of heaven and earth This first Article of our Beliefe was made by Christs first Apostle Saint Peter And herein thou professest that thou believest But that is not enough The Devils doe beleeve and tremble Thou must not onely believe God but believe in God and that he is thy God Againe thou art not only to believe God and believe in God but solely love God and wholly live to God For as wee are to believe with heart unto righteousnesse and confesse with mouth unto salvation so are we to bring forth fruits hereof in an holy and blamelesse conversation O how much hast thou failed in the first what then may wee looke for at the last And in Iesus Christ his onely Sonne our Lord. Of this second Article was Saint Iohn the Evangelist Author one who was right deare in the eyes of his Master our blessed Saviour and one who leaned on his bosome at his last Supper And here thou confessest Iesus Christ the second person in the blessed Trinity to be the Sonne of God to be our Lord. But hast thou by a contrite heart regenerate life made him thy Lord Thou saist thou dost beleeve in him but dost thou love him in whom thou believest And how shouldst thou be lesse then his Lover so long as thou beleev'st him to be thy saviour But wher be any Signes of this love O if thou didst truly love him in whō thou believ'st thou wouldst rather leave to live then leave to love him in whom thou believest Which was conceived by the Holy Ghost borne of the Virgin Mary This third Article S. Iames the Greater composed whereby thou art taught to beleeve all sanctification to be included in his Conception all humility in his Nativity But dost thou as every Christian should do seriously consider for whose sake this Virgin was conceived for whose sake thy sweet Saviour became so humbled that the Son of God should become the son of Man that the Son of Man might become the son of God that the immortall should become mortall that the mortall might become immortall that the living Lord should dye that the dying man might live that the free should become bound that the bound might become free that God should descend from heaven to earth that he might draw us from earth to heaven that God should become humbled that Man might be exalted that He should become poore that we might be enriched and reckoned amongst the transgressors that we amōgst his Saints might be numbred Hast thou I say meditated of this how he was borne for thee that thou mightst be re-borne in him O I feare thou hast beene more ready to partake of this benefit then by acknowledgeing it to bee thankefull for it Suffered under Pontius Pilat was crucified dead and buried This fourth Article Saint Andrew framed wherein thou seest and perhaps admirest the unjust proceedings of a wicked Iudge for thou hearest one and that an odious and malicious one pronouncing the sentence of death upon the Lord of life and inclining to the voice and vote of the people delivering a murdring delinquent to murder the innocent Nay pronouncing a sentence against his owne Conscience for hee washed his hands but not in innocence Againe thou hearest and beleevest that hee was crucified and yet it grieves thee not to crucifie him afresh with new sinnes Thou beleevest that hee died and was buried and yet thou daily diest not to sin but in sin and hast now not three dayes but many yeares laine buried in them He descended into hell This fifth Article Saint Philip added and thou beleevest in it He descended that thou mightst ascend to the place whereto hee is ascended Yet where be there any tokens of thy desire to ascend unto him Ascend unto him thou canst not unlesse thou descend into thy selfe for whom he so humbly descended The third day he rose againe from the dead This sixt Article Saint Thomas annexed An Article proper for Thomas who touching Christs Resurrection was so incredulous And here thou seest that late crucified man now acquit himselfe of death like a victorious Lord. And hence thou rejoycest but unlesse thou rise from sinne and live to righteousnesse Christs Resurrection shall afford thee small comfort in the bed of thy sicknesse Hee ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God the father Almighty This seventh Article Saint Bartholomew penned And by this thou beleevest that hee is now ascended who for thy sake descended And as from his rising came the hope of thy Resurrection so from his ascending the hope of thy glorification But thou must rise with him before thou canst reigne with him rise with him who was free from all sin from the Grave of sin that thou maist reigne with him who dyed for thy sin in his heavenly Sion And as hee sitteth on the right hand of God the father Almighty where he offers up his prayers for thee sheweth those glorious scars of his precious wounds to his Father for thee performs the faithfull office of a loving Mediator for thee So art thou in thy prayers to remember the necessity of his Saints upon earth But cold is thy charity in performing such a duty From whence he shall come to judge both the quick and the dead This eight Article was by S. Matthew published and by this thou believest how he who was judged unjustly shall judge the whole world in Equity For the Father judgeth none but hath given up this judgement unto his Son in whose brest are laid up all the treasures of wisdome and knowledge And this