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A14955 The court of conscience or Dick VVhippers sessions VVith the order of his arraigning and punishing of many notorious, dissembling, wicked, and vitious liuers in this age. By Richard West.; Court of conscience. West, Richard, fl. 1606-1619. 1607 (1607) STC 25263; ESTC S106605 17,732 53

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should onely be about your worke To earne your liuing should be all your care And not by th'ale-house fire still to lurke Gaging your husbands goods for Ale and Beere You l ' sell your smocks kerchers for good cheere Get home you Mawkes from off your gossips seat Take heed of medling any more of others I le make your back your sides and shoulders sweat And ierke you till you shed your Gossips fethers Turne vp your tippet I le teach you to prate Your shoulders and my whip are falne at bate Lyers HEre comes a proper child a well fac't youth With very neat apparrell comely making Where haue you bene my child forsooth in truth I was but where my mothers maide's a baking O lying villaine all this liue-long day He hath beene with the cut-purse boyes at play What this is one of these that cannot speake Three words but two of them shall be a lie Is grace gone from you is your faith so weake To stand in falshood what 's the cause or why Or who should moue thee thus to speake the word Which can no truth nor certaintie affoord Thy credit 's crackt there 's no man that will trust thee If thou shouldst tell a thousand certaine tales All honest men abandon and detest thee Each true man cryes out and vpon thee railes They doe eschew abandon and detest A lier worse then any sauage beast Nimble tongu'd Nicholas as the Prouerbe saith He that will lie will steale but as for you I haue a whip will remedie in faith The tripping of your tongues not speaking true Vntrusse you Rascall nay a knaue so young Must learne to rule his false and lying tongue Panders Apple-squires GEntelemen Seruiters and the chiefe reteiners To old Meg Curtis and her bawdie tennants Mall Cleuelyes pages though but little gainers For in a conscience you become their seruants Onely to haue your bawdrie of free-cost Y' ar good-man of the house y' ar cald mine host You colour whordome in an antique shew You l ' walke before a whore in a blew coate Or liuery cloake your sword and dagger to Your bootes all durty in a spotted Hatte She like a country-Gentlewoman wanders After your heeles to bawdie rascals chambers And thus you liue vpon a whores reuersion Vpholding them in all their whorish doings 'T is good you should why'tis your occupation To entertaine their clients in their woings When you haue made them drunke you l ' rob them quite Of all they haue and turne them out at night O y' ar a notable and a cheting rogue who 'ld thinke your maple-face should haue it in you To rob a man and after like a Dog To lay him downe well neere a furlong from you Come you base slaue and hold your tippet vp For you shall drinke though but of a drie cup. Witches Sorcerers Coniurers and Enchanters YOu Canckred old whore you whose nose and chinne Touch one another y' ar so old and crooked when you shold mind your soules health you begin To wax vnluckie who i st that prouoked Your beldams skinne to witchcraft and such euell But euen your father Lucifer the diuell You Nigro muzell in the diuells liknes Clothed in blacke with white rod in your hand You that can coniure all the clowdes to thicknes Blustring and rayning troubling all the land Which are invested so with hellish skill You blow downe trees and houses when you will Troubling and perplexing euery creature With fiery lightnings thunderclapps and showers The heauen yet keepes them from your fiery meature And vtterly euerts your hellish powers When al your witchcrafts past and earth be shaken Dericke will trusse you vp when your are taken But ere you goe for all your last offences Vnluckines and troubling of the land Behold my whip here 's one that recompences All the whole rogry you haue tooke in hand For al your witchcrafts showers of raine thunder I thinke my whip will make your sholders wonder Beggers Idle Roges and Counterfet madmen YOu sturdy roges and harlots that doe lie Begging and crauing still at euery dore Some vpon stiltes and crouches some there be That neuer shew your selues but alwaies poore Vnder the collour of those tattred raggs You hord great summes of mony in your baggs Another sort there is among you They Doe rage with furie as if they were so frantique They knew not what they did but euery day Make sport with stick and flowers like an antique Stowt roge and harlot counterfeted gomme One calls her selfe poore Besse the other Tom. Y ar able all to serue and doe good worke Were not the rootes of rogry so enrooted Within your lazie bodies that you lurke In fields or hedges dawbed and bebooted Vp to the very eyes in durt and mire Bridewell hath often paid you for your hire But that 's a thing of nothing for y'haue fellt All the whole punishment Bridewell can yeeld I tell you iolly yongsters I haue smelt A whip out for you which you cannot shild Nor yet defend your selues by all your shiftes From tasting of his franke and liberall gifts Fooles and Flattering Maple-faces YOu whome the Lord with wit hath so endued With knowledge and perfection of skill Yet for the want of grace it is eschewed Folly embraced hauing wit at will Amongst the wise th' art holden as a scoffe To make thy selfe a foole and others laugh Th' art faine like Gnato as a fawning Curre To flatter and to sooth men for thy liuing Vp holding them in each Contrarie word Be it trew or false thy sentence thou art giuing A flatring and deceitfull tongue and lying Dispise their owne good others th' are envying Thou like a foole with coxcome motley coat Ladle and pudding and a thousand toyes Goest like a cokes an noddy and a sot Derided by a hundred little boyes O t is a proper sight to see your person In all your foolish robes and flattring fashion Come let me see how finely you can flatter To saue your Pakes and shoulder from the whip Your sides wil quake your butocks they wil clatter When you shall feele the smart I know you l skip Out of coxecomes coat and leaue your ladell The whipp for such a fooles afitter bable Crewell Masters and dames YOu crewell masters that be put in trust For bringing vp of youth in Godly feare To learne their trades in godly kind Iust The keeping of their portions all your care Whether they haue their trades or haue them not Why what care you when mony you haue got You doe deteyne that is sufficient from them In meat and drinke and other needfull things If they purloyne or steale who can condemne them T is your owne selus that youth to folly brings Yet not withstanding if they doe offend Be sure to bownce them neuer seeke to mend Or find redresse in Iustice that they leaue Their naughty kind of negligence vncarefullnes But mistris minkes your wife for sooth must haue Her pennyworth from their pates in hatefullnes Ready to beat out silly chilldrens braines If they offend but little for their paines Because misusing seruants is so good And want of needfall things that they should haue You dogged queane put of your crewell hood Your coat smock down with your hose sir knaue You shall receaue the thing the which you need My whip shall make your sides and shoulders bleed Vnconscionable and vngodly Seruants ANd you in whō bad conscience hath such root That you respect not so you haue your fills Of necessary things it makes no boote What worke you doe you Iacks and sawcie Iills In maisters absence passe the time away In loytring or in sleeping all the day Your eye-lids must be open'd you be taught To leaue your filching and such other vice Looke heere 's my whip it serueth not for naught Make ready quick I le cleach you in a trice A sounder set of slaues cannot be found T were good to whip about another round But as you like the cheere which you haue had Fall to your knaueries againe once more This gentle warning is not halfe so bad As next will be if you be on my score If you offend the next time I will haue A Tree and halter for a sawcie knaue But my desire is that we may bee friends And all the world leaue their disorder quite If you do so I le make you all amends I le breake my corde and fling away my whip Into my Iewrie you shall all be taken When you haue all your knaueries off shaken FINIS
prolong Thy happy dayes as heauenly Fathers tongue Hath openly vpon the Mount declared In the pronouncing of his holy lawes The path to heauens kingdome is prepared For thee to walke suppressing hellish clawes Which haue beene raking at the heauens anointed To walke the pathes forbidden and vnappointed Meeke in behauiour courteous in speech Lowly and reuerent to all thy betters Orderly giuen loth for to impeach Thy nurture being train'd in godly letters Heauens dew be-water that young tender plant A sweet encrease God grant it neuer want That as a second Daniell it foresee And prye into deceitfull false deuises Of false accusing Elders and to be A Iudge to punish such bad enterprises As are committed by a damned sect Of rogues and vagabounds the Hels elect Sure Friend NOt like Thirsites enuious and repining In maledictious order thou hast liued But prone and ready still to be adioyning In friendly amitie and neuer grieued To be a loyal and true hearted friend In case of charge assured to the end Damon by right and title thou art called For to the last to Pithias thou didst stand Before the tyrant proffering to be haled For him to death and gau'st that tyrant band For his forth-comming which had he but slackt Thy selfe for him had beene most surely rackt Thou hast not with blanditious flatteries Soothd vp thy friend in hope of any gaine Giuing faire words and turning them to mockeries Tainting thy conscience then to worke him paine But rather then to make thy friend a pray Thy selfe thou hast endangered many away Caring for conscience how thou maist vphold It guiltlesse of reuealing secret things Most willing thou hast beene still to vnfold The mischiefe which to friend a mischiefe brings Then in this friendly knot come take a place To heauens glory and to hells disgrace Peace-maker TRoubled in minde at each dissentious sound Or motion of thy neighbours disagreeing Thy chiefest care hath beene to find the ground Of all their discord studying and foreseeing The way to make an vniuersall peace To bring the factious hearts to quietnesse Who from the rootes of enuies hatefull branches Haue practised the most accurst deuises Each against other plotting of mischances To breed contentions and detested vices Causing not onely worldly expence and charges But secret malice which soules paine inlarges Most worthy thou in the superior place Bearing the title of the Child of God Shouldst haue beene set disposing of that grace Committed to thee for reproofe of odde Disordred creatures foule and naughty doings Delighting falshood theft and blood imbrewings In heauens seruice to the Fathers peace For executing Iustice and vpholding Of truth and for the punishment of vice In iustice seat we place thee at vnfolding Of those disorderly accursed slights As haue beene vsed by vntamed wights Lowly minded NOt surlie Pompous scornfull foolish proud Though not of base house stocke or parents sprung But lowly minded meeke and of a good And kinde behauiour with a gentle tongue Ready to bowe to mighty Potentates And humble to the poore and meaner states A worthy brother not to be abiected From the societie and godly knot In heauens behalfe of Iewrie here elected And now impannelled hardly to be got Seeke all the world for twelue such other more You l ' neuer find them in the earthly store Therefore to Court and councell let vs hie vs Their guilty persons shall be all brought in Like Iustice sword my whip shall here stand by vs To take sir Rogue and Rascall by the skinne Come knaues and wretched whores with all your traine I le lead you trench-more to another straine Downe with your Triggens ho me thinks you leap Already round and capring on the toe How fine you l ' iumpe when you behold my whip I le cleach you soundly all before you go I le teach you th'capers and the antick iumpes Put off your gaskins quick put on your pumpes To all and singullar Backbyters Slothful teachers Graceles Truants Cokring Parents Cheating theeues and Cutpurses Drunken Scoundrells Highway haunters Shifting Gaimsters Whoremongers Gluttenous Epicures Tiraunts and merceles Villaines Coueteous Parsons Proud Knaues Extortioners Idle Caterpillers Profaine SWearers Atheists and Vnbeleeuers Punkes Baudes Makebates and Tatling Gospips Liers and Applesquiers Witches Coniurers and Enchaunters Beggers Idle Roges and Counterfeit Mad-men Fooles Flattring Maplefaces Cruell Maisters and Dames and Vn-Godly Seruants KICHARD WEST wisheth dew punishment soundly paid them for their desarts and at the end of the Whippers Court trew repentaunce of sinnes per Christum dominum nostrum Amen CEase you sad Nimphes your Delia to bemoane For she a ioyfull life since death hath gained And you pale Dimenes daughters cease to groane For Phaeton was for his folly pained The one by nature but the other died Cast Downe by Ioue from Heauen for his great pride It greeues me sore to see your sad laments In the bewayling of so great your friends Looke but about who 's this that parchment rents Sure he brings newes that to lamenting tendes T is not for one alone to lend his eare For all are naught and so t will proue I feare Sure t is fome Lawyer or some worthy man So by his habite he doth seeme to bee By his blacke gowne his pen and inke in hand Paper and Dust boxe frowning face and eye He hath a scrowle all full of written names He calls in order Maisters Men and Dames What should it meane why t is no brewers clarke Clarke of no kitchen nor of any Church Steward of hell no no no who then harke I le stand a loofe and keepe out of his lurch He hath a great long launching whip behind him I cannot stealt I know not how to blind him Take heed my maisters you with whom he reckons It seemes hee le pay you all your wages soundly Ha let me se whose that to whom be beckens Hee s very briefe he beginnes to call him roundly What fellowes that that to him doth trudge There sits a Iury by him hee s a Iudge Backbiter YOu Mai. Silke-strings baudy embleme maker Rimer and Ridler Come into the court Maker of songs by euery channell raker You are indited here what all a-mort Hold vp your hand heare your inditment read T will cost y' a whipping ells I le loose my head And wherefore i st because you spend your time All the whole day among your baudy queanes In ribauld talke and loathsome silthy rymes Stperfluously it floweth out in streames Backbiting all men in a hidden sort Come come vntrusse O here is gallaunt sport And more then that for still you doe inuent Sedicious like gainst all men to exclame In baudie ballads being wholly bent In sort vndecent men vnknowne to blame Thinking to excuse your selfe by giuing quipps Gainst those that neuer deserued your railing nips What should I stand to tell you all your tricks I should backbite men then as well as you Nor yet your rabbles altogether mixe It were an endles