him who is emnipotent Hee did worke many wonders by his Apostles Act 19 11. even upon the living and speciall miracles by the hand of Saint Paul vers 12 so that from his body were brought unto the sick handkercheifs or aprons the diseases departed from them the evill spirits went out of them And hee who wrought cure of the people without meanes can give such a blessing to the meanes that I may thereby be restored againe many diseases my Redeemer himselfe did cure while hee was upon earth It is true that hee is now not here in the flesh hee is ascended into heaven But what of that Though his humanitie be there yet his divinitie is every where I will therfore submit to his pleasure and I will hope for my health While hee was upon earth hee delighted in cures and his mercie remaineth still the same readily will I therfore submit to his pleasure Mar. 2.3 Once was a man so weake with the palsie that hee was borne by fower vers 4. and when by reason of the preasse they could not come neere the doores of the house where my Saviour was they un-covered the roofe and let him downe in his bed When Iesus saw their faith vers 5. hee said unto the sick of the palsie Sonne thy sinnes be forgiven thee Mat 8.14 When Peter's wive's mother was sick of a feaver vers 15 my Saviour did but onely touch her hand and the feaver left her and shee arose and ministred unto them c. 4.24 The people brought unto him all sick folke that were taken with diverse diseases and torments and those that were possessed with devills and those that were lunatick and those that had the palsy and hee healed them It is hee alone that can heale and therfore to him alone will I pray that I may be healed Were my disease as ould as my body my body as ancient as time it selfe yet hee that can remit my sinnes can restore my health But my disease is not so ancient and therfore the cure doeth not seeme to be so hard Suppose that I have languished a moneth a quarter a whole yeare What if three What if sixe What if a dozen yeares It exceedeth not either his power Mat. 9.20 or skill to make mee whole Hee cured a woman who for twelve yeares together had beene diseased of an issue of blood in her body Mar 5.26 Shee poore woman had suffered many things of many physitians and had spent al that shee had and yet was nothing bettered but rather grew worse Thus despairing of any helpe from man shee addressed herselfe to him who is both God and man To him that cure was so easie that shee did but onely touch the hemme of his garment strait way the fountaine of her blood was dryed up vers 29 and shee felt in her body that shee was healed of that plague There was a miracle indeede that with the touch of a garment the disease should be cured If such power did lye in the hemne of his garment what vertue must I needes believe did lie in his body But what comfort can I receave from this which I reade when I know that that body is ascended into heaven Fond woman as I am why doe I thus waver Though his flesh be from mee yet his spirit is with mee Yea and his flesh and his blood is offered still unto Christians upon earth Hee giveth not onely his garment to touch but allso his flesh and that not to touch onely but even to eate to seede upon in the blessed sacrament That woman was cured by the touch of his garment and shall not I hope for his mercy who feede upon his flesh and blood in the Eucharist Yes yes I must I will believe that hee for his owne sake will remitt my sinnes and that if it may advantage the glory of his name hee â—an and may recover my health Yet all this while I thinke but of a disease of twelve yeares standing What if I had beene sick for eighteene yeares together Might I therfore despaire of his power Noe noe I might not I durst not Lu 13.11 Doe not I reade of a woman who had a spirit of insirmitie eighteene yeares and was bowed together and could in noe wise lift up herselfe A disease shee had which in effect was not alltogether unlike unto mine for I stoope too and am allmost bowed together through the weakenesse and infirmitie of my body and cannot lift up my selfe but am enforced to require the aide of my friends and attendance to raise mee and to support mee Yet I reade that when Iesus saw her vers 12 hee called her unto him and said unto her Woman thou art loosed from thine infirmitie vers 13 And hee layd his hands on her and immediately shee was made straite and glorified God It may be his pleasure to speake such comfort allso unto mee for I have not beene sick so many yeares as was shee and I seeke my Saviour which shee did not allthough I must acknowledge it is his grace which worketh in mee this my seeking of him yea and I begge the cure whereas shee was asked if shee would be cured Why then should I not hope that hee will lay his hands upon mee and make mee straite and restore mee whole as hee did that woman that I may glorifie him for it But suppose that my disease had continued above twentie yeares suppose above thirtie should the long continuance make mee determine the cure impossible Nothing lesse for I reade that a certaine man was at the poole of Bethesda Io. 5.5 who had an infirmitie thirtie and eight yeares vers 6. and when my Iesus sam him lye there and knew that hee had beene now a long time in that case hee said unto him Wilt thou be whole vers 7. The impotent man answered him Sir I have noe man when the water is troubled to put mee into the poole but while I am coming another steppeth downe before mee vers 8. vers 9. Iesus saith unto him Rise take up thy bed and walke and immediately the man was made whole and tooke up his bed and walked Loe here is some comfort still thirtie and eight yeares continuance was nothing to Christ Hee who is eternall seeth all things at once and doeth all things without difficultie Surely that man was intended for a patterne of patience and that I might learne contentedly to suffer what my God shall lay upon mee Hee despaired not of health though his disease was inveterate but hee lay â—… the poole and expected still the hand of mercy â—o lift him into the water nothing doubting â—f the cure if hee could in due time but get â—…to the poole Nor may I despaire of what â—y God can doe but I must continue in my â—pplications enduring mine affliction with â—tience and referring all to his holy pleasure 〈◊〉 must
did not give light to the companie which were in the ship with Saint Paul in the tempest when hee was bound towards Rome for they Act 27 29. fearing lest they should have fallen upon rocks cast fowre ankers out of the sterne and wished for the day True it is that every one in a storme will wish for Christ this morning starre and ready they are to take their astro-labe that so they may observe the height and the distance of him but yet are they apt to leave him in the tempest and to trust to their owne cables and ankers which they cast out at the sternes of their ship never considering the depth of the seas the fowlenesse of the anchorrage Every Christian even the most skillfull mariner is apt to runne a shore upon the world or to fall upon the leadges and rocks of trouble and temptation but who ancoor's his hopes in Christ Who fasteneth the flooke of his anchor in the wounds of the Crucified Lord give mee such a faith in thee that I may not believe in thee waveringly or hope in thee weakely or wish for thee faintly but that I may at all times and upon all occasions put my whole trust and confidence in thee Ps 42.1 and say with David As the Hart panteth after the water-brookes so panteth my soule after thee ô God Surely that morning starre did not give light to churlish Nabal 1. Sam. 25.37 when in the morning after the wine was gone out of him and his wife tould him all that was done his heart dyed within him and hee became as a stone Alasse every Nabel every worldling can be jocound and pleasant while they surfeit upon the vaine pleasures of this transitorie world they can be merrie and drunken very drunken with the be-witching cup and all the while they are such sonnes of Belial vers 17 that a man cannot speake to them But if once either by povertie sicknesse or any other calamitie they are awaked and their Abigails their consciences tell them that the most mighty hath girded his sword upon his thigh Ps 45.3 with glorie and majestie and is resolved to destroy them then like unto Nabal even their very hearts dye within them and are even as stones for want of the comfort and light of his morning starre These are they who in the morning say Deut 28.67 would God it were evening and at even they say Would God it were morning for the feare of their hearts wherewith they feare and for the sight of their eyes which then they see Iob 24.17 for the morning is to them even as the â—shadow of death if one know them they are in the terrours of the shadow of death Therfore will I besiech that bright morning starre Amos. 5.8 that hee will arise in my heart that I may seeke him that maketh the seaven starres and Orion and turneth the shadow of death into the morning and maketh the day darke with night the Lord is his name This is the time Iud 16.2 when the Philistines thought to have killed Samson after they had compassed him in and layd waite for him all night in the gate of the citty of Gaza and were silent all the night Lord if at any time I sleepe if I sleepe in my sinnes which doe thou ever prevent as thou doest forbid it how contented is Satan to let mee rest How silent hee is and will not disturbe mee But hee sitteth in the gate and watcheth and if at any time I be awaked by my God how doe's hee labour to destroy mee presently with suggestions to despaire or presumption This is the time when Moses was commanded by God to cary the two new tables of stone up to the Mount Ex 34.2 for God sayd unto him Be readie in the morning and come up in the morning unto mount Sinai and present thy selfe there to mee in the top of the mount Why may not this in some kind seeme to be spoken by God to mee too For I have one table at least and I feare that it is stone too but it is in his power to make it the fleshly table of my heart 2. Cor. 3.3 O that hee would call mee O that hee would draw mee up unto him to the top of the mount Hos 11.4 with the bands of love and that hee would doe it now this morning like as twice in one morning hee putt Moses in mind of the two tables O that hee would write his law in this table of my heart even with his owne finger that I might not sinne against him This is the time when the Angells hastened Lot to goe out of Sodome Gen. 19 15. It was when the morning arose that they said unto him Arise take thy wife and thy two daughters which are here lest thou he consumed in the iniquitie of the citty The blacknesse of the crimes of those lustfull citisens eclypsed the Sunne yet lest they should hope that their impieties could dazell the eyes of the all-seeing God they had a light from heaven to discover his wrath The sinnes of the people were retrograde to nature and their just punishment proceeded therfore from causes not rendered by the practise of nature The light body of the consuming fire was seene to descend and the sulphurious flames which might have beene conceaved to arise from the troubled bowells of the earth or from the land of darknesse descended in a stormie gust from heaven A mixed fire and stinke conlumed the transgressours yet was not the choaking smell of the burning sulphur so offensive and loathsome as the stench of their wickednesse Thus the fire of their uncleanesse was revenged by the fire of tormenting brimstone and just it was that the messengers of vengeance should discharge their office whom the lewde people would not receave without a lustfull attempt of their fowle desires Their punishment for their crimes began even in their offences for it was noe small severitie to suffer them to continue in their violation of nature Yet here it stayed not for they lost their sight because they saw not their faults and at even they wearied themselves to find the dore of that righteous man vers 11 being stricken with blindnesse by those ministers of revenge vers 23 This darke evening was yet but a presage of a gloomie morning for the vengence fell when the Sun arose and those horrid flashes of a blew and dazeling light served onely to lend them a sight of their scorched neighbours and so to increase and heighten their torments Assuredly if I well consider it I am not unlike to that Lot who was saved for with the Sodomites I live I am neighboured by the wicked O but am I just with Lot and with him 2. Pet. 2 7. am I vexed with their uncleane their filthie conversation O that I might so resemble Lot that I could avoyde the corruption of those whose society
Ier 3.22 And this is hee to whom Israel replyeth and saith vers 23 Behold wee come unto thee for thou art the Lord our God Truely in vaine is salvation hoped for from the hills and from the multitude of mountaines truely the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel This is hee who promiseth unto Zion c 30.17 saying I will restore health unto thee and I will heale thee of thy wounds saith the Lord because they called thee an out-cast saying This is Zion whom no man seeketh after This is the same Lord to whom the people of Israel addressed themselves Hos 6.1 when they said Come let us returne unto the Lord for hee hath torne and hee will heale us hee hath smitten and hee will bind us up Since then my God hath cured both lands and waters and bodies and soules Since hee woundeth and hee healeth none can deliver out of his hand Since hee bringeth downe to the grave and bringeth up Since hee woundeth and his hands make whole Since it is hee onely who forgiveth all our iniquities healeth all our diseases and saveth our lives from destruction Since it is hee that bindeth up the breach of his people and healeth the stroake of their wound Since it was hee that promised to penitent Iudah that hee would restore comforts to him and to his mourners Since it is hee alone who is the salvation of Israël Since it is hee that promised unto Zion to restore health unto her and to heale her of her wounds I will resolve therfore with the people of Israel to returne unto him for hee hath torne mee and hee alone can heale mee hee hath smitten mee and hee alone can bind mee up To him to him will I humbly sue for the cure of my wounded and distressed soule and to him will I willingly submitt my weake and feeble body I will powre out my soule unto him I will send up my supplications unto him and will pray and say The Prayer GReate Creatour full of compassion who both sendest sicknesse and restorest health be thou graciously pleased I most humbly beseech thee to turne thy wrath from thy distressed servant Thy hand ô Lord is heavie upon mee in this languishing consumption and the sting of my transgressions pierceth mee with sharpe and grievous torments Yet I must confesse ô my God that my sufferances doe not any wayes equall mine offences nor can the paines which I endure satisfie thee mine offended Lord for the least of my transgressions O my sinnes are upon mee Eze 33.10 and I pine away in the punishment for them how then shall I live My body languisheth my flesh consumeth Ps 22.15 Ps 39.11 Iob 33 19. vers 20 and now am I very neere drawne unto the dust of death Thou with thy rebukes doest correct mee for mine iniquities thou makest my beautie to consume away like a moath I am chastened with paine upon my bed and the multitude of my bones with strong paine so that my life abhorreth bread and my soule the daintie meate that is to be desired vers 21 My flesh is consumed away that it cannot be seene and my bones that were not seene vers 22 stick out My soule draweth neere unto the grave and my life to the destroyers But yet I know that with thee ô God is compassion Mat 9.12 and tender mercies The whole have noe neede of the Physitian but such as I who am sick and in miserie O that it might be sayd of mee as it was by Mary concerning her brother Lazarus Io 11.3 even that Shee whom thou lovest is sick O my God make mee thy friend in heart and soule and graunt that I may expresse it in my dutifull obedience to all thy commandements and then be thou my friend in thy succour and reliefe Ps 41.1 vers 2. Deliver mee now in this time of trouble preserve mee and If it may be thy good pleasure keepe mee alive make mee blessed upon the earth and deliver mee not over into the hands of death vers 3. Lord strengthen mee upon this my bed of languishing make thou turne thou all my bed in my sicknesse Thou hast chastened mee sore Ps 118.18 Ps 116.8 vers 9. Ps 143.6 ô give mee not over unto death but deliver my soule from death mine eyes from teares and my feete from falling that I may walke before thee in the land of the living Vnto thee ô my God doe I stretch forth my hands my soule thirsteth for thee as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee speedily ô Lord my spirit faileth hide not thy face from mee for I am become like unto them that goe downe into the pit Thou hast promised by thine Apostle Iam 5.15 that the prayer of faith shall save the sick and that thou wilt raise him up Lord I pray unto thee strengthen thou my faith I am sick Lord raise thou mee up and make good unto mee that thy promise by thy holy Apostle Heale mee ô Lord Ier 17.14 and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise O Lord I call upon thee Ps 141.1 hast thee unto mee consider my voyce now I cry unto thee and restore mee to health But howsoever if thou hast otherwise determined of mee ô my Iesus cleanse thou mee by thy blood and cure my soule by the merits of thy passion My sinnes I must confesse are the cause of my sicknesse but doe thou ô God Ps 44.22 blott out as a thick clowde my transgressions as a clowde my sinnes returne unto mee for thou hast redeemed mee O give mee patience in this time of adversitie give mee comfort in the examples of thy mercy and give mee assurance of thy love in the sanctifying of this sicknesse unto mee As my body doeth dayly draw neerer to the earth so make my soule allso dayly draw neerer unto heaven If it may be thy pleasure to restore mee to health againe ô let it be thy mercy allso to renew mine obedience But if thou art resolved by this disease to free mee from the labours of this wearisome world and to bring mee downe to my grave for thy Christs sake o my mercifull and indulgent father bring thou my soule into thy celestiall paradise O graunt that my sinnes may consume farre faster then doeth my flesh and as thou takest away the strength of my body so be pleased to adde unto the strength of my faith I am thine ô Saviour and cost thee deere even the very blood that issued from thy crucified body be thou allso mine ô Iesus both now and for ever Abate the temptations â—… Satan and arme mee with strength to resist his suggestions Ravish my soule with the love of thy selfe that so I may with willingnesse forsake the vanities of this world with readinesse lay downe this tabernacle of flesh and with comfort that my soule may
give mee a sight of and a sorrow for the offences thereof Breake thou my hard and stonie heart with the knowledg of my sinne and my due consideration of thy heavy wrath Psal 5.4 Eze. 11 19. Psal 51.10 Deut. 4 9.10.17.17 Ps 107.35 Thou art a God that delightest not in wickednesse remove therfore from mee this heart of obstinacie and give mee a heart of flesh Create in mee a cleane heart ô God and renew a right spirit within mee Let not thy commandements depart from it all the dayes of my life Speake but the word ô God and it shall be done Sanctifie it in thy trueth thy word is trueth O thou that didst turne the wildernesse into a standing water and drie ground into water springs be pleased to shew thy mercy now in the depth of my distresse Lord heare my desires behould my necessities Without a heart I cannot serve thee without a new heart I cannot praise thee Lord give mee a heart to feare thee Is 66.2 Ps 38.18 to tremble at thy word to listen to thy promises to confesse my sinnes and to be sorrie for mine offences Give mee ô my God Ps 119.80 fuch a heart as thou requirest that so it may be allways sound in thy statutes Give mee a heart that may mourne in secret for all my sinns both secret and open that may be zealous for thine honour that may be tender of thy displeasure and that may shun both the inclination to and the desire of offending thee my greate Creatour Heare mee ô God Io. 19.34 Mat. 26 38. for thy mercies are greate Heare mee ô Christ whose side was pierced whose soule was sorrowfull and all to purchase new hearts for all that are penitent sinners Heare mee ô blessed spirit and assist mee in my petitions with sighes Rom. 8 26. Can. 8.6 and groanes that cannot be expressed Give mee a heart for thy service and then set mee ô Lord as a seale upon thine â—rme O Lord give O Lord forgive Forgive my sinnes and give mee the blessing of a righteous heart that so I may feare thee as long as I shall remaine in this vallie of teares and then receave mee ô my father into thy celestiall Kingdome that I may live with thee in glorie for ever and ever through Iesus Christ my onely mediatour and redeemer Amen THE THIRD SUBJECT Teares of Time The Soliloquie consisting of three parts viz 1 A re-view of the time past 2 A consideration of the time present 3 A resolution for the time to come The First part A re-view of the time past THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe fower beasts in the Apocalyps that were full of eyes before behind and within sitting upon the throne which was set in heaven rested not day and night saying Rev. 4.8 Holy holy holy Lord God Allmighty which was and is and is to come What a high description is here of the sacred Trinitie The Father holy the Sonne holy and the Spirit holy and yet not three holies but one holy The Father Lord the Sonne Lord and the Holy Ghost Lord. The Father God the Sonne God and the Holy Ghost God The Father All mighty the Sonne All mighty and the Holy Ghost All mighty The Father Eternall the Sonne Eternall and the Holy Ghost Etemall and yet not three Lords nor three Gods nor three Allmighties not three Eternalls but one Lord one God one All mighty and one Eternall Eternall What 's that The text saith which was not as if hee had beene but is not therfore it is added which is yet not so is as if hee should be no more therfore it is farther added and is to come Surely hee that was without beginning which is immutable and which shall be the judg both of the quick and the dead even the same God was is and shall be Holy in his essency Lord in his dominion God in his excellency Allmighty in his power and Eternall in all When I reade these deepe mysteries of my God ô how I am divided mee think's in my selfe How doe I varie in my thoughts and meditations The singing of those heavenly beasts make's mee rejoyce but their song it selfe drive's mee into a sadnesse for they tell mee that holinesse and righteousnesse and glory and power and eternitie is the very nature of God in none whereof I can find my selfe to be like unto him Lord I wish that I were with the beasts upon the throne that I might be a litle more cheerfull then I am here at the foote stoole But alasse my wishes cannot be purchases for none can come to God but those alone who are like unto God 1 Cor. 29. Before I can come to sitt upon that throne I must certainly be holy for hee is holy I must be righteous for hee is righteous and then though I shall not have such power nor glory as hee hath yet I shall have my share I shall have my proportion I shall have such power to magnifie my God as that nothing shall be able either to oppose or divert mee I shall have such glory as neither eye hath seene 1 Pet. 1 15. nor eare hath heard nor yet can enter into the heart of man to conceave yea and I shall have eternitie too for though I cannot be sayd to be perfectly eternall because I had a beginning yet I shall be certainly eternall in that I shall have noe end But how shall I gaine this holinesse that I may come to that eternitie Surely I must looke upon the three distinctions or parts of time and if I consider them as limitted I must find my selfe in them if as unlimitted I must find my God in them For God is not so sayd which was which is and which is to come as if this description did any way come neere a full expression of his eternitie but rather submitt's as it were onely to our capacitie that so by this I may partly conjecture at what I cannot yet possibly comprehend Noe time can properly be asscribed unto God for each part thereof hath a bound and limitation which God can not have The time past is gone allready from us the time present is goeing and the time to come is not yet ours But when wee say God was wee intimate his perfection in being without a beginning of being When wee say God is wee expresse his vigour and readinesse and power to effect his purposes and when wee say God shall be wee undoubtedly acknowledg and confesse his perpetuitie The time was when I was not and I againe shall be when time shall not I shall be indeede but where shall I be Eternitie hath but two mansions heaven hell If I doe not take heede I may be tormented for ever Lord how I tremble at the thought of it
because I cannot number my sinnes Is 30.20 I will eate the bread of sorrow and I will drinke the water of contrition and affliction if I live to eate drinke any more See see how voluntarily these forward teares falling all-ready from mine eyes present themselves to my lipps steale into the corners privately as it were instructing mee that they are the wine which befitt's a sinner Lord let mee not live if I doe not love to grieve and grieve most affectionately for my hainous offences for those offences of mine which so scourged my Redeemer that they fetch'd the very blood from his sacred body O my God make mee thus to passe away my time if any more time shall be mine and then I know that thou wilt wiâ—e these teares from mine eyes Is 25.8 and number mee with those few Mat 7.13.14 which shall enter in at the strait gate But what a tedious life in the meane while shall I leade if I doe nothing but weepe and cry and mourne out my life Better be out of the world then to take noe pleasure in the world Must I droope away my youth and strength while I am here and then drop away into my grave and so be forgotten Yes I must If I will have my heaven hereafter I must have my hell here I cannot bee without my hell of sinne here for the devill is allways with mee in his temptations and why should I not desire rather to have my hell of punishment here then hereafter It will be wisedome to endure a light affliction upon earth rather them eternall flames with the damned It will be good policie to forbeare the vaine and fruitlesse joyes upon earth that I may have joyes unspeakeable and endlesse in heaven This life will not continue allways I shall not allways live here in the bitternesse of this anguish and teares There will come a time when I shall have beauty for ashes Is 61.3 the garment of gladnesse for the spirit of heavinesse when I shall have comfort and joy and that joy shall noe man take away from mee Io 16.22 Ps 126.6 If I now goe on my way weeping bearing pretious seede I shall doubtlesse come againe with rejoycing bringing my sheaves with mee But when will that time come Will it not be long first I am contented to weepe for my sinns but mee think's I am not willing to weepe too long O my soule doe but consider with thy selfe that all thy life is not long enough if al of it were spent in teares to satisfie my God for the smallest of mine offences They are infinite in number and hee is infinite whom they displease Yet through the merits of him Lu 19.41 who wept over Ierusalem my teares shall be accepted and my sinnes be forgiven I shall not thinke my time of sorrow long or tedious if I doe but hearken to the Angel which Saint Iohn saw standing upon the sea and upon the earth Reu 10 5. who lifted up his hand to heaven vers 6â— And sware by him that liveth for ever and ever who created heaven and the thines that therein are and the earth and the things that therein are and the sea and the things that are there in that there should be time noe longer This will come to passe and I am sure that it cannot be long first Let mee but have a litle patience let mee possesse my soule in patience but a litle while Lu 21.19 Heb 10 37. and hee that shall come will come and hee will not tarry O my God either lend mee noe more minuits or howsoëver let mee have noe more sinne But if I must of necessitie sinne so long as I shall live give mee true repentance as often as I sinne or if that bee a taske too full of difficultie for a woman to performe by reason of the weakenesse of the sexe and the frailtie of the flesh yet give mee such repentance as may be both true and timely and acceptable Lord I desire not to live any longer unlesse I might live without offending thy gratious Majestie What time soever thou shalt allott mee hereafter it shall be more then I will expect lest it should wickedly entice mee to deferre my repentance Yet if it be thy pleasure to adde unto my dayes let it be thy pleasure likewise to adde unto my repentance Make mee thy child by grace and then I shall pant with David and thirst with David and cry Ps 42.2 Reu. 22 20. with David O when shall I come and appeare before thee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and come Lord Iesus come quickly The Prayer Ancient of dayes Dan. 7.9 Reu. 4.8 whose garment is white as snow and the haire of whose head is like the pure wooll thou which wert and art and art to come Lord God All mighty have mercy upon mee the meanest and the unworthiest of all thy creatures Mercy o Lord I begge for the wicked and most sinfull losse of my pretious time O Lord forgive whatsoëver I have done amisse pardon ô father whatsoëver I have offended in This or none must be my time of sorrow Lord graunt that I may weepe and grieve mourne for my former sinfull life It is thy custome ô God it is thy promise Ps 50.15 Neh. 9.27 to hearken unto those who are in distresse When the Israelites cryed thou deliveredst them from the hand of their enemies in their troubles when they cryed unto thee thou heardest them from heaven My sinnes are mine enemies and farre more cruell then were the enemies of Israel Lord be thou as gratious now unto mee in this time of my trouble as thou wert then unto thy people heare mee from heaven and forgive mee the wickednesse of my misse-led life Is 33.2 I wayte for thee ô my God be thou mine arme every morning and my salvation in this time of spirituall sorrow Forgive mee the losse of the time allready past accept of my repentance at this time which is present and so protect guide and blesse mee that what time soever shall be to come I may wholly dedicate it to thee the donour Ps 20.12 1. Pet. 1.17 Eph. 5.16 Rom. 13.11 Gal. 6.10 Io 9.4 Teach mee so to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto wisedome Make mee to passe the time of my sojourning here in feare redeeming the time because the dayes are evill and considering that it is now high time for mee to awake out of the sleepe of securitie Graunt that as I have opportunitie I may doe good unto all but especially to the house-hould of faith The night cometh when none can worke Lord doe thou draw mee Heb. 12 1. that I may follow after thee that so I may runne with patience the race which is set before mee vers 2. looking unto thee my Iesus the author and finisher of my faith Make mee to watch and attend thy coming ô
is it that Sun whose bright rayes and powerfull influences doe cherish my body which I long for Noe 't is the heaven of heavens which I desire Mal. 4.2 't is the Sun of righteousnesse which I long to behould This Sun which is so greate in comparison with the earth is not to be named in comparison with him This poore litle blushing Sun though now it pride 's it selfe in its tryumphant rayes shall at his appearing yea before his appearing even as a harbinger to prepare for his comming be mantled in mourning Act. 2.20 it shall be turned into darknesse and the Moone into blood before that greate and notable day of the Lord come And yet 'till then God hath appointed this greate Light greate to us the Sun to rule the day Ps 136.8.9 as well as the Moone and the Starres to governe the night for his mercy endureth for ever Even in this I see his mercy that by the light thereof the eyes of my body have the use of their faculties and can present their objects to my better part which may in her conternplations admire allways the mercies of God If any man walke in the day saith my Saviour hee stumbleth not Io. 11.9 because hee seeth the light of this world vers 10 But if a man waike in the night hee stumbleth because there is noe light in him Yet now I thinke of it there are some assuredly who walke in the day and yet they stumble yea they contrive a way how they may learne to stumble therfore that wine which should comfort the heart is purposely receaved to disturbe the braine Thus the superiour guide is mistied in a fogge lest it should direct the feete in the cariage of the body Is 5.11 Such are they against whom the Prophet pronounceth that Woe saying Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning that they may follow strong drinke that continue untill night 'till wine inflame them This is contrarie to the custome of those in Saint Paul's time for hee saith 1. Thes 5.7 They that sleepe sleepe in the night and they that are drunken are drunken in the night But it is not so now for wickednesse in our times hath assumed more impudencie that vice which formerly was deemed so shameful that the very wine it selfe enforced the sinner to some modestie in a blush even now by continuance is accounted but societie and to palliate the crime the collour of the offendour borroweth an excuse from the custome of inflammation Thus is nature constrained to pleade for wickednesse the corruption of the liver through immoderate drinking which discovereth it selfe in the staines of the countenance is noe longer abhorred as an effect of vice but rather 't is pittied as an infirmitie of the person The gray-eyed morning looke's upon my body and teacheth mee to view my hidden selfe my inner man This is a duety prescribed by religion and 't is a law of justice that before I walke abroade to behould my neighbours I first doe prye into the dresse of my selfe The All-mighty quesstion's Ephraim and Iudah by the mouth of his prophet saying Hos 6.4 O Ephraim what shall I doe unto thee O Iudah what shall I doe unto thee For your goodnesse is as a morning clowde and as the early deaw it goeth away This clowde and this deaw doe aptly resemble the goodnesse of hypocrities The clowde passeth the deaw drye's up Oh thus doe my promises and vowes unto God Thus doe my better actions where in I glorie Suddainly presently doe they vanish and disperse If I looke upon the skie I view the mirrour of my present thoughts for though for a time I meditate on God yet an empty clowde which rideth post and fleeth a way upon the wings of the wind Ps 18.10 is not so speedie as are these pensive and divine contemplations If I blush when I see the short continuance of these heavenly thoughts discovered in the speedie journie of a clowde with a dejected countenance let mee looke upon the ground Oh here againe I find the reflection of my short devotions These private cogitations which tend to religion are but like to the pearlie deaw that hang's on the grasse prompt and ready to drie and vanish Those very tufts of grasse those leaves of the trees seeme to lament the short continuance of my religious exercises as if they had spent the silent night in anguish and sorrow for feare lest my doome should be to a place below their abode The flowers have wept all night in their beds and the chillowed herbs have drooped in the darke and all of them together besiech mee with teares that my goodnesse may not resemble the jewells they weare Those pearles shall dissolve those teares shall be dryed at the appearance of the Sun even so soone as hee shall visit them with the warmth of his beames Thus thus though I mourne in secret for my sinnes yet so soone as I am warmed with the vaine delights of the enticing world I am apt presently to forget the bitternesse of my sorrowes and to sinne afresh lest I should not have cause to lament againe Lord I wish yet that I had but such and so many teares for my sinsull felfe as the tresses of the earth doe seeme to mourne out for mee Such ô such or none I desire to have None other will comply with my wishes They must be exhaled from the earth even the earth of my heart by the Sun of righteousnesse Thus they must rise that thus they may fall And when they are thus risen and when they are thus fallen then shall they be dryed by the comfortable rayes of that Sun of righteousnesse shining in my â—eart My sighes and my groanes which â— dispatch for my sinues shall ascend like â—apours up to my braine and by the secret inâ—uences of him that enlightens mee they shall have time alotted them to unite togeâ—her and then shall they fall in a deaw on nine eyes Now is the time that I thus should â—eepe now is the time I should thus lament for my sinnes must be purged with my morâ—ing teares My yester-day's follies my lastâ—ight's fantâ—sies this morning's thoughts which saluted my earthly vanities before I â—owed to my God even all advise mee to hye â—…y selfe and retire speedily into my private closet there to wash and rub and clense my soule in the cesterne of my teares and never leave rinsing 'till the staines are fetcht out But is this the taske of a morning shall I not be utterly unapt for the workes of my vocation when I have swelled mine eyes with the brinie drops O noe the aire is cleerest brightest when stormes are blowne over and content of mind and quiet thoughts will follow upon my mourning Besides there 's nothing in the world that dryeth sooner then teares for many times they are slunke in a moment into the dimple of a smile Nay
poore for thy sake allways considering that the vanities of earth are not worthy to be compared to the glory that shall be revealed 1. Pet. 5 1. Heb. 4.13 1. Tim. 2.9 vers 10 O thou to whose eyes even all things are naked and open graunt that I may adorne my selfe in modest apparell with shamefastnesse and sâ—brietie not so much with gold or pearles or costly aray as with good workes becomeing a professour of godlinesse Make mee labour for the ornaments of the hidden man in the heart in that which is not corruptible 1. Pet. 3 4. Luc. 12 21. 2. Cor. 9.11 1. Tim. 6.18 Iam. 2.5 Reu 3.18 even the ornament of a meeke quiet spirit which is in thy sight of greatest price Make mee ô heavenly father rich in thy selfe rich unto liberalitie rich in good workes in faith Make mee buy of thee gold tryed in the fire that I may berich and white raiment that I may be cloathed and that the shame of my nakednesse doe not appeare Let mee allways remember that greate accompt which one day I must render to thee the Lord of heaven and earth that so I may serve thee here with my substance in my body and my soule with zeale and devotion and hereafter be receaved to thine ever-lasting glory through the merits of thy sonne in thy bosome Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 7 THE SEAVENTH SUBjECT Teares in want or in the time of adversitie In foure severall Soliloquies treating of 1 A decayed est ate or plentie turned into povertie 2 Hunger both corporall and spirituall 3 Thirst both bodily and ghostly 4 Nakednesse both of the out-ward and the in-ward man The first Soliloquie Treating of a decayed estate or Plenty turned into povertie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Mary had powred her precious oyntment on the head of my Redeemer Mat 26 7. his disciples were filled with indignation vers 8. vers 9. said To what purpose is this wast For this oyntment might have beene sould for much and given to the poore vers 10 But when Iesus understood it hee said why trouble yee the woman For shee hath wrought a good worke upon mee vers 11 For yee have the poore allways with you but mee yee have not allways O mee think's the words of my Saviour doe more afflict mee then the povertie which I suffer I thought hee had beene allways conversant with the poore because hee so often commandeth their reliefe But now hee seemeth to leave us in our miserie when hee determineth that wee shall continue upon earth but himselfe resolveth to leave the earth But did hee not promise in Saint Mathew say Mat. 28 20. Loe I am with you allway even unto the end of the world How can his promise be fullfilled if wee have him not allway Will hee be at the same time both present with us and absent from us Or doeth hee disdaine our poverty and for that very reason deny us his presence Cease cease ô my soule these doubts questions which savour too much of ignorance Rom. 3 4. or infidelitie Let God be true and every man a lyer What hee spake to his disciples before his suffering hee spake of his flesh but what hee said when hee was risen hee affirmed of his Spirit True it is ô my Iesus that thy bodily presence I expect not upon earth Ps 144 5. nor may I desire thee to how the heavens and come downe from thy glory â—t is thy Spirit ô Christ which I humbly sue â—or even that Comforter who may strengthen â—…ee in the depth of my calamities Never â—ad I more neede of comfort from God then â—ow when the goods of the world forsake mee Now doe I find that I am hated Prov. 14.20 c 18.23 c 19.4 even of mine owne neighbours but the rich hath many friends I am enforced to use intreaties c 18.23 but the rich answereth mee roughly c 19.4 Wealth did make many friends but now I am poore I am seperated from my neighbours vers 7. All my brethren doe hate mee and much more doe my friends goe farre from mee I pursue them with words yet they are wanting unto mee Vaine world where are thy promises Deceitfull riches where is your friendship I who so lately was dandled in the lappe of pleasure and plenty am now exposed to paines and penury So litle did I dreame of this tempestuous storme that with David I said in my prosperitie Psa 30.6 I shall never be removed thou Lord of thy goodnesse hadst made my hill so strong But where are now those ensignes of pride my Rings and my Iewells Where are those factours of lasciviousnesse my favours and my fashions Where are those robbers of time my sports my games Where are those moths wormes of plenty my flattering society and my discursive companions Where are those pamperers of the body my severall dishes and daintie cookeries Where be those golden pictures that often yeelded mee leggs and the courtsies Alasse all 's gone all 's flowen The Sun is hidden and muffled in a clowde and by that meanes those atomes those motes are obscured Now must I expect noe more honour or respect My fingers and my wrists and my neck must forget that ever they were adorned with the treasure of the seas and the riches of the earth My back must forget that ever it was dressed in the fashion of strangers Mine eares must forget that ever they were delighted with the musick of discourses My palet must forget that ever it was coy and nice in the choyce of various meates My mind must forget that ever I was honoured with the respect of inferiours And my purse must forget that ever it was acquainted with the idoll of the world O what wonder and misery happen's in this change All things are altered as if I had slept out my time and onely dreamed of the pleÌ„tie which formerly I enjoyed Mee think's I am but just newly borne Nay I am worse for now I have neither nurse to suckle mee nor mother to dandle mee Yet am I still as if I were borne but a day or two since allthough I am growne to bignesse beyond the time for I am as ignorant of a way to live in the world as the sucking infant that 's nourished at the breast And now what shall I doe Nor acquaintance nor friends nor kindred nor any will remember that ever they knew mee or if they doe they will be moreready to taunt mee then afford mee reliefe Was ever miserie like unto mine Was ever distressed soule so destitute so forlorne as I am Whither shall I goe To whom shall I complaine Either my tougue hath forgotten to speake or my friends to heare
shall be greater if wee continue in our industrie This is my way and thus I will follow him Hee who sate upon the throne Reu 21 6. and said It is done I am Alpha and Omega the beginning and the end even the same Lord said I will give unto him that is a thirst of the fountaine of the water of life freely Hee inviteth mee by his Prophet and speaketh to mee among the rest when hee saith Is 55.1 Ho every one that thirsteth come yee to the waters and hee that hath noe money come and buy and eate yea come and buy wine and milke without money Reu 22 17. without price The Spirit and the Bride saith Saint Iohn say Come and let him that heareth say Come and let him that is a thirst Come and whosoever will let him take of the water of life freely I am thirstie hee hath promised therfore to mee the fountaines of the water of life I am thirstie and yet I am poore and have not wherewith to buy what I neede My deedes are wicked and of noe validitie my words are idle and deserve noe good my thoughts are sinfull cannot merit What then Shall I starve for want because I have not price to give Noe noe mee it is hee calleth unto that I may buy without money mee hee meaneth to make partaker of his promise I will buy what I want but I can give nothing but teares or at most which indeede is the best even the blood of him who was slaine for my peace But why doe I call that blood mine owne May I safely doe it Yes it was his but it is mine Because hee needed not that price as a ransome for himselfe hee gave it to mee and all the faithfull to purchase our redemption This ô father I offer unto thee upon my knees I tender it with a lowly heart and a bleeding soule and a submissive speech praying unto thee and saying The Prayer GRacious father Ps 123.1 Mat 5.45 thou that dwellest in the heavens and from heaven doest send the raine both on the just and the unjust take pitty and compassion on the meanest of thy servants who cryeth unto thee out of the depth of miserie O my God thou seest how I am dryed up with thirst and am wearie of my life for want of thy comforts I know that thou hast power to breake a clowd and canst command it to water my parched body Thou canst give mee drinke out of the windowes of heaven Gen 7.11 or canst cause the earth to answer my desires Ps 6 1. Lord rebuke mee not in thine anger neither chasten mee in thy heavy displeasure I must confesse that I have worthily deserved thy severest punishments and most justly therfore doe I feele the heate of thine anger in my burning thirst Ps 79.5 But Lord shall thy displeasure burne like fire for ever Shall it never be allayed with the shewers of my teares or with that which infinitely exceede's them both in vallew and power even the dropps of blood which fell from my Redeemer O thou who with a stroake of a rod diddest make the relenting rocks to relieve the thirstie doe thou be pleased to pittie the complaint of a fainting sinner Coole my body which burneth with heate and refresh mee now in this extreamest anguish if it may stand with thy gracious will and pleasure If thou seest it fitting that my life should be prolonged afford mee the meanes for the preservation thereof On thee alone doe I depend and to thee alone doe I addresse my supplication To thee I referre the disposing of this parched and dryed earth humbly besieching thee to bend my will to submit unto thine O let mee never utter any words of despaire or discontent but in all my groanes let mee acknowledg thy justice Holy Father be pleased to fixe my thoughts upon my inward man that my care may be greater for the spirit them the flesh I want that spirituall desire which thou requirest I thirst for that thirst My soule is drie for want of thy grace and so seered is my conscience that I know not my miseries Lord open mine eyes that I may see my wants that so my thirst may be turned into a thirst for thy mercy Thou ô God art rich but I am poore thou art filled with blessings but I am not yet so much as sensible of my want of them O give mee both a sight of my povertie and a desire of thy grace and then graunt unto thy servant according to my desires I thirst Lord I thirst after thee the well-spring yea the ocean of mercy O send mee but a drop of thy heavenly ocean that it may increase in mee a desire of enjoying thy selfe Ps 36.8 Give mee to drinke of thy pleasures as of a river that so I may referre my body to thy holy will willingly yeeld this dust to thy disposall Gen 3.19 This dust shall returne to the dust whence it came but ô let my soule be vallewed so deare in thy sight that it may here have a tast of thy bottomelesse bountie hereafter be admitted to the paradise of thee my God Reu 2.7 Heare mee ô father and graunt my requests Zech 13.1 for the worthinesse of him who opened unto mee a fountaine for sin even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen soliloquy 4 THE FOURTH SOLILOQUIE Treating of Nakednesse both of the out-ward and in-ward man THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Noah was over-come with the wine which hee had dranke sleeping hee lay un-covered in his tent Gen 9.21 vers 22 Accursed Ham saw the nakednesse of his father and tould his brethren but Shem and Iaphet tooke a garment vers 23 and laid it on both their shoulders and went back-ward and covered the nakednesse of their father and their faces were back-ward and they saw not their father's nakednesse All these were the sonnes of one and the selfe-same father but they differed in conditions as if they had not beene hrothers One was so unnaturall that hee seemed to boast in the folly of his parent and when wine had disturbed the braine of his father and the heate of the drinke had layed him naked the wicked sonne as rejoycing at his weakenesse tould his brethren the effect of the drunkennesse But the other two blushing at the effect as well as the cause modestly hid what ought to be concealed Such a Ham have I it is my poverty Onely in this it differeth from the sonne of Naoh that it first inebriateth mee and then uncovereth mee I am so intoxicated with want that it bereave's mee of my senses and being thus poore it leave 's mee naked O where shall I find a Shem or a Iaphet to cover my nakednesse I
healeth Ex 15.26 Psl 6.2 Have mercy therfore upon mee ô Lord for I am weake ô Lord heale mee for my bones are vexed Ps 41.3 Ier 17.14 Strengthen mee now upon my bed of languishing make thou all my bed in my sicknesse Heale mee o Lord and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise c 30.12 O let not my bruise be incurable though my wound be grievous Let mee have one to pleade my cause vers 13 even that Holy One thine onely begotten Sonne that hee may bind mee up and give mee healing medicines Thou art hee who didst promise Iacob to correct him in measure vers 11 though not to leave him altogether unpunished Thou rebukest mee for my sinne Ps 39.11 and makest my beauty to consume away like as it were a moath fretting a garment These Markes in my flesh doe cause a trembling even in my spirit Rev 13.17 Ps 86.16 Lord graunt that upon my soule be not found the marke of the beast but the marke of thy sonne that hee may owne mee for his O turne thou unto mee and have mercy upon mee give thy strength unto thy servant and save thy distressed hand-mayd Shew now some good token for good vers 17 that it may appeare unto the world that thou Lord doest helpe mee and comfort mee But if in thy secret purpose thou hast decreed at this time to gather mee unto my fathers make mee with joy comfort to render mine account unto thee the Lord of heaven earth Looke not upon the sinnes and offences of my misse-led life but rather looke upon my Redeemer's death Is 53.5 who was wounded for my transgressions bruised for mine iniquites the chastisement of my peace was layed upon him by his stripes therfore let mee be healed In the midst of the streete of thy throne ô God Reu 22.2 of either side of the river of life there is a tree of life bearing twelve manner of fruits and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations O my God let mee but come to tast of those fruits let mee but be shaded under the leaves of that tree of life Ps 41.4 Ps 103 1. Be mercifull unto mee heale my soule for I have sinned against thee Then shall my soule blesse thee O my Lord and all that is within mee shall praise thy holy name who forgivest all mine iniquities vers 3. and canst heale my diseases Into thine hands I commend my spirit Ps 31.5 for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord thou God of trueth The Spirit and the bride say Come Reu 22.17 therfore let mee who now heare it say Come Let mee heare thy voyce ô God Gen 3.8 in the coole of the day not in the heate of thy displeasure And thou ô my Iesus who for such sinners wert made a sacrifice on the altar of the crosse how downe thine eare as thou didst upon the tree and heare and fullfill the desires of thy wounded supplicant Come ô Iesus and embrace mee in thine armes hide mee in thy wounded side from the wrath of thy father In thee alone doe I trust to thee alone doe I flee succour mee helpe mee save mee O Christ The world I leave to thee I come At the doore of thy mercy doe I knock I call I cry Lord protect mee Iesus comfort mee Strengthen my faith and confirme my hope As my earthly body draweth neerer to the earth so doe thou draw my soule up neerer unto thee who art the father of spirits Heb 12 9. O God make speede to save mee O Lord make hast to helpe mee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and then let mee enter into thy celestiall paradice and that for his sake in whom alone thou art well pleased even Iesus Christ my onely Mediatour and Redeemer Amen subject 16 THE SIXTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the sicknesse of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray IT shall come to passe saith Moses to the house of Israel if thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God Deut 28.15 to observe to doe all his commandements and his statutes which I command thee this day that all these curses shall come upon thee and overtake thee vers 16 Cursed shalt thou be in the citty and cursed shalt thou be in the field Cursed shall be thy basket and thy store vers 17 yea Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body c. vers 18 What all these curses from heaven for the sins of poore distressed mortalls O what a multitude of evills doe our sinnes deserve What punishment doeth not iniquitie cry for It cryeth for the curse of the citty the decay of trading the curse of the field whole rivers of blood in furious battailes the curse of the basket and the store the dearth of provisions Yet all these are but outward punishments and reflect onely upon the baser the worse part of our selves the body but Cursed shall be the fruit of the body oh this biteth like a Serpent stingeth like a Cockatrice Prov 23.32 The fruit of my body Is afflicted with sicknesse but is the sinne of the parent the cause of his affliction Yes yes my conscience acknowledgeth the guilt let my tongue be as ready to confesse it and my heart to repent of it But how standeth this with the justice of the Creatour Gen 18.25 Shall not the judg of all the earth doe right The Prophet Ezekiel telleth mee from God that The sonne shall not beare the iniquity of the father Eze 18 20. Mich 7 6. Ier 9.20 neither shall the father beare the iniquity of the sonne but the soule that sinneth it shall dye Else the daughter might rise up against her mother as saith the Prophet and the women by reason of the vengeance due for their sinnes might teach their daughters wayling c 31.29 Rom 3 4. if the sowre grapes which the parents have eaten should set their childrens teeth on edge But let God be true and every man a lyar that hee may be justified in his sayings and may over-come when hee is judged Hee it is who hath threatned to visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate him The sinne is mine Ex 20.5 but the punishment is mine infant's againe the sinne is mine infant's and the punishment is mine And yet farther The sinne is of and from both and the punishment is inflicted upon both His sufferance is my sorrow and his paines my distresse Lord what a due reward of sinne is punishment My child as yet it may be knoweth not sinne and yet is hee punished
him yea and on mee allso that I may not be drowned in the flouds of sorrow Mat. 8.14 vers 15 When Iesus came into Peter's house hee saw his wive's mother laid and sick of a feaver And hee did but touch her hand and the feaver left her and shee arose and ministred unto them My Iesus doeth still reteine both his mercy and his power Though his body be absent yet his spirit is present Hee can if hee please reach downe from heaven Deut 4 34. for hee hath a mighty hand and a stretched-out arme O that hee would but touch his patient that so his disease might leave him and that hee might arise and serre the Lord The Prophet David did highly extoll the goodnesse of the Lord when hee acknowledged saying Ps 30.3 O Lord thou hast brought up my soule from the grave thou hast kept mee alive that I should not goe downe to the pitt Doe thou the same ô my God for thine afflicted servant My Redeemer was pleased to tell the Pharisees that the husband and the wife are noe more twaine but one flesh and therfore hee concluded saying What God hath joyned together let not man put asunder Mat â—9 6. My husband and my selfe are joyned together by the sacred institution of holy wedlock which maketh us one for wee have but one God one body one mind one affection wherfore then should any thing attempt to seperate us Yet wee may be Seperated and if this divorce be not wrought by man it infringeth not the law of God Sicknesse may make yea and at this time it doeth make an un-wellcome seperation yet though wee are seperated wee are not divided But I must find out more in this seperation then barely the sicknesse I must looke up unto him who sent this sicknesse and that is God Hee may seperate us indeede whensoever hee pleaseth Hee may send his executioner that pale and grimme death with his sharpest Sickle and give him power to reape downe either one or both of us That is the effect of sinne and I cannot deny but I have deserved to be deprived of my husband because I have many wayes offended him who sent him unto mee In the time of his health did I expect his sicknesse Did I provide for this evill day Nay did I not rather pride my selfe as Babylon did Reu 18 7. and say in mine heart I sit as a Queene and am noe widow and shall see noe sorrow Certainly his sicknesse is allso sent as a scourge unto mee for being flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone I cannot choose but be sensible of the anguish which hee suffer's Yet allthough it is just with God to deprive mee of my husband because of my rebellions I have hope in his mercy if I can but confesse my wickednesses Ps 38.18 Eze. 34 16. and be sorrie for my sinnes Hee promised once by the mouth of his Prophet saying I will seeke that which was lost and bring againe that which was driven away and will bind up that which was broken will strengthen that which was sick O my God make good this promise now to thy languishing servant Hee is one of thy flock hee is one of thy weake and tender Lambs True it is that hee was lost when hee went astray after his owne inventions but now as thou hast found him in this thy visitation so let him find thee in the gentlnesse of his correction Seeke him ô my God who was lost bring him againe unto thee who was driven from thee by the suggestions of the tempter bind him up for hee is broken Ps 41.3 and strengthen him now upon the bed of languishing make thou all his bed in this his sicknesse Moses did assure the children of Israel that If they would hearken to the judgments of God Deut. 7 12. vers 15 and keepe and doe them Then the Lord would take away from them all sicknesse and would put none of the evill diseases of Egypt upon them O my Lord be pleased to make thy feeble servant willing to hearken to thy judgments and ready to keepe them and then in thy good time release him from his sicknesse Againe the Lord at another time did comfort his people Ex. 23.25 and sayd unto them Yee shall serve the Lord your God and I will take sicknesse away from the midst of thee O that my God would be pleased to draw this languishing patient to his holy service and accept of that service and then free him from this sicknesse Hee who hath woundded him even the same can cure him and hee expecteth noe reward onely hee requireth the heart But alas the very heart of my husband is tormented with sicknesse hee is sick at the heart and the Lord doeth say Mal. 1.8 If yee offer the lame and the sick is it not evill But what then shall hee doe Hee can offer noe other then what hee hath Let it be thy goodnesse ô God to ture him of his lamenesse to ease him of his sicknesse and then accept of the whole man for hee is wholly thine Hee who so friendly speaketh to the house of Israël and justifieth himselfe unto them saying O my people what have I done unto thee Mich. 6.3 and wherein have I wearied thee Even the same God notwithstanding threatneth the wicked that hee will make them sick in smiting vers 13 them My poore husband now is sensible of his wrath because hee had formerly refused his mercy Even hee and my selfe have beene apt to forget our good God when hee did not weary us and therfore now hee doeth make us sick in this smiting us Yet there is hope for even the same God is ours who was the God of Daniel and that Prophet saith Dan 8.27 I Daniel fainted and was sick certaine dayes afterward I rose up and did the King's businesse My poore husband fainteth too oh hee is sick too but I will pray unto my God to raise him up againe that so hee may doe the King's businesse even the businesse of him who is King of Kings Reu 17.14 and Lord of Lords For this I will besiech him and I will begge of him that in the bowells of his compassion hee will open his eares to the cry of his hand-mayd whilest I powre out my prayer and supplication unto him and say The Prayer INcomprehensible God whose workes are deepe and whose wayes are past finding out who smitest in thy wrath and yet in thy wrath remembrest mercy Hab. 3.2 be pleased to stretch forth thine hand and visit in mercy thine afflicted patient Thou art the good Samaritane from whom alone wee can expect the oyle of gladnesse Lu 10.33 Ps 45.7 and the wine of consolation O remember not the iniquities either of my sick Lord or my sinfull selfe for wee know that in thy justice thou mayst teare us in pieces Ps 50.22 Is 53.5 when there can
man of God had dis-obeyed his command the ould Prophet tould him saying Thy carkeise shall not come into the sepulcher of thy fathers 1. King 13.22 This curse was accounted as full of dread as any that was sent upon the sonnes of men When the young man the Prophet annointed Iehu King over Israë 2. King 9.7 hee tould him that hee should smite the house of Ahab his master and that the doggs should eate Iezebel in the portion of Iezreel vers 10 vers 7. and there should be none to bury her that the Lord might avenge the blood of his servants the Prophets and the blood of all the servants of the Lord at the hand of Iezebel VVhat Iehu was commanded hee did faithfully execute for when hee had caused the eunuches to throw that painted adulteresse out of the window from whence shee looked vers 3. some of her blood was sprinkeled both on the wall and on the horses and hee trod her under foote Afterward when hee had eate and dranke hee sayd vers 34. Gâ—e see now this cursed woman and bury her for shee is a King's daughter vers 35 And they went to bury her vers 37 but they found noe more of her then the skull and the feete the palmes of her hands sothat they could not say This is lezebel Ier. 22.17 Because the eyes of Iehojakim and his heart were not but for his coveteousnesse and for to shed innocent blood and for oppression for violence to doe it vers 18 therfore thus sayd the Lord concerning Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah vers 19 Hee shall be buried with the buriall of an Asse drawne and cast forth beyond the gates of Ierusalem The Lord threatned the Princes of Iudah c. 34.19 and the Princes of Ierusalem and the Eunuches and the Priests all the people of the land which passed betweene the parts of the calfe vers 20 saying I will even give them into the hand of their enemies and into the hand of them that seeke their life and their dead bodies shall be for meate unto the fowles of heaven and to the beasts of the earth But on the contrarie Ahijah the Prophet telleth the wife of ieroboam concerning her sick sonne Abijah 1. King 24.12 vers 13 saying Arise get thee to thine house and when thy feete enter into the citty the child shall dye But all Israël shall mourne for him and bury him for hee onely of Ieroboam shall come to thegrave because in him there is found some good thinge towards the Lord God of Israel in the house of Ieroboam Againe wheÌ„ Huldah the Prophetesse did for etell the destruction of Ierusalem but a respite thereof in the time of Iosiah she tould him 2. King 22.20 saying Behould saith the Lord I will gather thee to thy fathers and thou shalt be gathered into thy grave in peace Thus hath it often discovered the wrath of the All-mighty when the earkeises of the dead have beene denyed their funeralls and on the contrarie it hath sometimes manifested his love when they have peaceably beene brought to their longest home Buriall is the last of dueties which wee owe unto our friends to which both religion and nature and civilitie doe prompt us for ward When Isaak being ould and full of dayes Gen 35 29. did give up the ghost and dyed and was gathered unto his people his two sonnes Esau and Iacob buried him When Iohn the Baptist was beheaded in the prison Mat 14 12. his disciples came and tooke up the body and buried it The disciple that was willing to follow my Redeemer yet accounted it his duety to attend on the funerall of his deceased father and therfore desired saying c 8.21 Lord suffer mee first to goe and bury my father True it is that his request was denyed not as if Christ dis-liked his pietie but to teach him that nothing should hinder him from religion This was as greate an excuse as most that could have beene pleaded and yet even this had not force enough to prevayle for his departure Our father in heaven must be preferred in our service before the fathers of our flesh Againe it may be conceaved that the parent of the disciple dyed in un-beliefe it was therfore more proper that infidells should bury him who were dead to religion then that a disciple of Christ should mixe with the un-faithfull Howsoëver hee was not checked for desiring leave to bury his father but hee was commanded rather to follow his Master Even the glutton in the Gospel had so much favour as to be brought to his grave so saith the text The rich man allso dyed Lu. 16.22 Iob. 21.30 vers 32 vers 33 and was buried Though the wicked saith Iob is reserved to the day of destruction and shall be brought forth to the day of wrath yet shall hee be brought to the grave and shall remaine in the tombe The clods of the valley shall be sweete unto him and every man shall draw after him as there are innumerable before him Ps 49.14 Though death as the Psalmist speaketh doeth feede on the wicked and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning and their beawty shall consume from their dwellings yet in the grave shall it consume them and in the grave like sheepe shall they lye Thus the Prophet foretelling the buriall of my Redeemer Is 53.9 sayd Hee made his grave with the wicked the rich in his death It is then the duety of the living to provide even for the dead that they may be buried in peace But is it a matter of any moment in what place wee lay the bodies of our deceased friends Is it not all one whether in the fields or whether in our Golgotha's Noe doubtlesse for even the lawes of our land are so justly severe against idolaters that wee suffer not the convicted to be buried in our ground which is dedicated to this use Neither may they be permitted to mixe with our dead who have desperately become the murderers of themselves but they lye in the roades where a stake is set up to give notice to passengers that they unnaturally hastened their owne departure It is a matter of some moment to us who are living that wee lay our deceased friends in a place convenient for allthough it exteÌ„deth not to their knowledg yet it redoundeth to their honour When Iudas had given back the thirtie pieces of silver the price of him that was vallewed Mat 27 9. to the chiefe Priests that hired him they tooke counsell together and seing it was not fitt to mixe that money with the rest of their treasure because it was the price of blood vers 7. they bought the potter's field with it vers 6. to burie strangers vers 7. Thus they who would readily give a reward to a traitour were not so readie to be
makest sick in smiting by reason of my sinnes yet in considence and full assurance of thy mercy I commit the keeping of my soule unto thee as unto a faithfull Creatour O let that live and it shall praise thee for in thee doe I trust let mee not be confounded neither let mee despaire of the greatnesse of thy mercies Ps 23.4 And though now I walke in the shadow of death yet I know that it is in thy power to restore mee to health Lord if it may stand with thy secret will be pleased to recover mee that I may glorifie thy goodnesse in thy worke of power Blesse all the lawfull meanes that shall be used for that purpose Give skill to the Physitians vertue to the medicines strength to my spirits and health to my body Let mee recover my strength that I may imploy it in thy service and restore mee to health that I may be more active in mine obedience to all thy commandements But if otherwise thou hast determined and resolvest at this time to make mee as water spilt upon the ground 2. Sam. 14.14 graunt mee a willing and ready submission to thy decree Either abate the torments of mine afflicted body or increase my patience that I may not offend thee in my sufferings Make mee to magnifie thee whether by life or by death and graunt mee so safe a passage and conduct in the armes of thy mercy that I may be conveyed safely into Abraham's bosome Graunt this ô father for the love and merits of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely intercessour and redeemer in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Our Father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy Kingdome come Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our dayly bread And forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen exercise 4 4. The consolation of the godly in the hower of death VVHerfore is light given to him that is in miserie saith holy Iob and life unto the bitter in soule Iob. 3.20 vers 21 Which long for death but it cometh not and digge for it more then for hid treasures vers 22 Which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave This was the complaint of a faithfull man and may now be the lamentation of a sorrowfull woman I have grieved and I have mourned for my sinnes and my good God I blesse him for it is gratiously pleased in the bowells of his mercy and compassion to give mee an assurance of happinesse by the merits of my Iesus But when comest thou ô my sweete my longed for my desired Saviour Thou knowest my paines which draw from mee many sinsull thoughts and un-fitting cryes Thou takest notice of the cunning suggestions of my greatest adversarie and his busie allurements to rob mee of my hope Thou seest how sometimes hee would leade mee into carnall securitie and sometimes into a beliefe that my verie vicet are vertues or not seene by Thee or not to be punished by thee and sometimes againe hee striveth to hurrie mee into the verie gulfe of despaire But I know and am assured that through the merits of my Redeemer the gates of hell shall not be able to prevaile against mee Mat. 16 18. Io 13.1 Prov. 12.28 for whom thou lovest thou wilt love unto the end I know that in the way of righteousnesse there is life and in the path-way thereof there is noe death Hence away therfore yee fowle fiends and rebellious tempters What doe yee here fawning and grinning hoping to betray a penitent soule These teares which I shed for the wounds that I made in the body of my Saviour by my piercing sinns are too pretious a water for you to hath in too choyce a wine for you to tast of here are noe hopes for the enemies of mine indulgent Iesus Though my groanes alas cannot be free from the pollution of sinne yet they shall not advantage you in what yee desire Ps 119.115 Away from mee yee wicked ones I will keepe the commandements of my God Thinke not to affright mee with my approaching death Phil. 1.23 for I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Death I feare thee not come come and trye thy power but know that thy countenance which is so terrible to reprobates is the producer of joy comfort to my wearied heart Thou poore feeble despised nothing what power or strength is left thee to boast of Grave why gapest thou why standest thou so open as if thou didst hope to tryumph Hos 13 14. and conquer mee My Christ did threaten to be thy plagues ô death my Iesus did resolve to be thy destruction ô grave and that repentance should be hid from his eyes Is 25.8 1 Cor 15.54 Hee promised to swallow up death in victorie and to wipe away teares from off all faces This hee did promise and this hee hath performed for by his blessed Apostle I am well assured that death it selfe is swallowed up in victorie Now I dare challenge you ô yee impotent and powerlesse adversaries I dare scorne vers 55 and contemne you O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victorie Thy sting ô death was pullud out by him who is the Lord of life The strength of thy sting was that law which was fullfilled by my mercifull Iesus Hos 13 14. Ps 49.15 Rom 14.9 Hee hee hath ransomed mee from the power of the grave hath redeemed mee from death Hee hath redeemed my soule from the power of hell for hee shall receave mee To this end hee dyed and rose againe re-vived that hee might be Lord both of the dead and of the living Ps 68.20 Ps 48.14 Rom 14 7. vers 8. Hee that is my God is the God of salvation unto whom belong the issues from death This God is my God for ever and ever hee shall be my guide even unto death I live not to my selfe nor doe I dye unto my selfe for whether I live I live unto the Lord whether I dye I dye unto the Lord whether I live therfore Phil 1.20 or dye I am the Lord 's Christ shall be magnified in my body whether it be by life or by death for to mee to live is Christ vers 21 Heb. 12 18. vers 22 vers 23 vers 24 and to dye is gaine I come not to the mount that might not be touched nor to blacknesse and darknesse and tempest but I come unto mount Sion to the generall assemblie and â—rch of the first-borne which are written in heaven and to God the judg of all and to the spirits of just men made perfect and to Iesus the Mediatour of the new covenant and to the blood of sprinkling that
I am strongly assured that shortly even presently Ps 36.9 in thy light in thy Kingdome whereof thou thy selfe art the light Reu 21 23. Eccl. 7.1 I shall see light Now doe I with heavenly comfort assure my selfe that the day of death is better farre better then the day of my birth for I was borne to sinne Ps 23.4 but I dye to reigne Now though I walke through the valley of the shadow of death I can feare noe evill for thou art with mee thy rod and thy staffe thy comfort mee VVhat though I am counted with them that goe downe to the pit Ps 88.4 andam as a man that hath noe strength Iob. 17 1. VVhat though my breath be corrupt though my spirit be spent though my dayes be extinct and though the graves be ready for mee vers 13 VVhat though the grave be mine house and presently I shall make my bed in the darknesse VVhat though corruption vers 16 and the worme shall goe downe to the barrs of the pit and our rest shall be together in the dust VVhat though death be come up into my windowes into mine eyes Ier. 9.21 Ps 107 18. and be entered into the tabernacle of my body VVhat though my soule abhorreth all manner of meate and I draw necre unto the gates of death VVhat though my heart be sore pained within mee Ps 55.4 Ps 44.17 and the terrours of death be fallen upon mee Yet though all this be come upon mee I will not forget thee o my God neither will I deale falsly in thy covenant vers 18 My heart shall not be turned back neither shall my stepps decline from thy way noe vers 19 though thou hast sore broken mee in the place of dragons and doest cover mee with the shadow of death I am goeing now the way of all the earth Ios 23.14 and doe know in my heart and in my soule that not one thing shall faile mee which the Lord my God hath promised to his elect Now am I joyfully goeing to the gates of the grave Is 38.10 I am deprived of the residue of my yeares vers 11 vers 12 I shall behold man noe more with the inhabitants of the earth Mine age is departed and is removed from mee even as a shep-heard's tent But yet Lord Ps 39.7 what is my hope Truely my hope is even in thee I shall speedily depart then shall I joyfully be freed from sinne Mat 26 38. The soule of my Redeemer was exceeding sorrowfull even unto death and all for my sake as well as for others that I might now be joyfull and rejoyce unto life Mee think 's that voyce from heaven which was heard by the Apostle is now sounding in mine eares and saying Reu. 14 13. Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from hence forth yea faith the spirit that they may rest from their labours and their workes doe follow them Mee think's I find the words of the Psalmist full of truth and comfort Ps 116.15 that Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints O now mee think's like that blessed martyr Saint Stephen looking up to the heavens I see thâ—… open Act 7.55 Ps 31.5 and the glory of God and my Iesus staâ— ding on the right hand of his father I come Lord I come Into thy hands I commend my spirit for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord thâ—… God of truth Take mee into thine armes ô God Act. 7.59 Convey mee to thy Kingdome ô Christ Lord Iesus receave my spirit Amen subject 27 The TWENTIE-SEAVENTH SUBJECT Teares in the distressed time of civill warrs The Soliloquie containing a patheticall and grievous lamentation for the present distractions both in the Church Common-wealth by reason of these cruell most bloody warrs THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray SHall a trumpet be blowne in the city and the people not be afraid Amos. 3.6 Saith the Lord by the mouth of his holy Prophet A trumpet Why Lev. 25 9. Is that so dreadfull So terribleâ— I find that a trumpet of Iubilee was appointedâ— be sounded in the day of atonement throughout 〈◊〉 the land of promise when the Israelitâ— should come into it and certainly wheâ— that trumpet sounded the people rejoyced 〈◊〉 were not afraid Yea but the Lord called not to rejoycing and Iubilees when he threatned Israel by the mouth of that Prophe who was among the herdmen of Tekoa Amos. 1.1 The first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard as the Scriptures mention was a cause of trembling Ex. 19.14.15 for the third day after Mosâ— went downe from the Mount unto the people vers 16 in the morning there were thunders anâ— lightnings and a thick clowde upon the mount and the voice of the trumpet exceeding lowd so that all the people that were in the campe trembled Yea they so trembled and were so afraid when they saw the thunderings c. 20.18 and the lightâ— nings and the noise of the trumpet and the mountaine smoaking that they removed and stood a farre off vers 19 and said unto Moses Speake thou with us and wee will heare but let not God speake with us lest wee die This was the first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard and I find that this was a cause of trembling Againe I reade that the trumpet was ordained for the sounding an all arme Num. 10.5 and that o that is it which now sound 's in our eares Nothing but a point of warre nothing but newes of firâ— and fword is heard among us The â—…umpets the trumpets oh they sound they â—…nd a shrill and horrid dinne a fearfull â—…se they make in our eares and our newâ—…ced cities and our new-fortified townes â—…e encompassed as once Iericho was when â—…e trumpets of rams-hornes were blowne by â—…e priests and the people showted Ios 6 8. vers 16 Surely that â—…ay is come upon us which the Lord threatâ—…ed Ierusalem with by the mouth of his Proâ—…het for the mighty man cryeth bitterly Zeph. 1 14. vers 15 the â—…y of wrath is come upon us the day of trouble â—…d distresse the day of wastnesse and desolaâ—…on the day of darknesse and gloominesse the â—ay of cloudes and thick darknesse vers 16 the day of the â—rumpet and all-arme against the fenced cities â—nd against the high towers vers 17 Distresse is come â—pon us that we walke like blind men because we have sinned against the Lord and our blood is â—owred out as dust and our flesh is as the dung Oh that is fallen upon us which was threatâ—…ed to Egypt Our land is watered with blood Eze 32 6. wherein wee doe swimme even to the mounâ—aines and
and leaned his hand on the wall and a serpent bitt him Wayling is in all our streetes vers 16 and wee sayâ— all the high wayes Alasse Alasse Wâ— call the husbandman to mourning and such are skillfull of lamentation to wailing vers 17 â—… all vineyards is wayling for the Lord doth pâ—… thorow us O that now at last wee wouâ— seriously lay this to our hearts vers 14 and seeh good and not evill that wee may live and so the Lord the God of hosts may be with us O that wee would once hate the evill vers 15 and love the good and establish judgment in the gate It may be that the Lord of hosts would be gracious unto the remnant of Ioseph But while wee remaine in our rebellions wee must looke to lye downe in our miseries as at this day Ps 79.2 The dead bodies of the servants of the most high are given to be meate unto the fowles of the heaven and the flesh of his saints unto the beasts of the earth vers 3. Their blood is shed like water round about the Kingdome and there are none to bury them Wee are become a reproach to our neighbours vers 4. a scorne and derision to them that are round about us vers 5. How long Lord wilt thou be angry for ever vers 8. Shall thy jealousie burne like fire O remember not against us our former iniquities let thy tender mercies speedily prevent us for wee are brought very love vers 9. Helpe us ô God of our salvation for the glory of thy name O deliver us Ps 125 3. and purge away our sinns for thy name's sake O let not the rod of the wicked 〈◊〉 upon the lot of the righteous lest the righteous 〈◊〉 forth their hands to iniquity Oh how our â—eres doe enforce us to flee to save our lives Ier 48.6 Prov 28.1 Gen 19 22. â—…ke us like the heath in the wildernesse â—…e sometimes flee when none pursueth us â—hen Sodome was destroyed Lot had a Zoar 〈◊〉 flee unto when Ierusalem was layed wast â—…ne of the inhabitants had a Pella to escape â—…to O that I now had wings like a dove Ps 55.6 〈◊〉 then would I flee away too and be at â—…st Lo then would I wander far off vers 7. and â—…maine in the wildernesse Ioel 2.11 for the day of the â—ord is greate and very verrible and who can â—ide it Hee is the true God Ier. 10.10 hee is the liâ—ing God and an everlasting King at his â—rath the earth doth tremble and the nation 〈◊〉 not able to abide his indignation Ye â—hat doe I talke of fleeing and wish for the â—vings of a dove that I might flee Alasse whither would I flee Can the mountaines â—…r the hills cover mee from the all-seeing Lord of hosts Ps 139.7 Whither shall I goe from his spirit or whither shall I flee from his presence If I ascend up to heaven hee is there If I make my bed in hell behold he is there allso vers 8. vers 9. vers 10 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea even there shall his hand leade mee and his right hand shall hold mee If I say vers 11 surely the darknesse shall cover mee even the night shall be light about mee Yea vers 12 the darknesse hideth not from him but the night shineth as the day the dâ—…nesse and the light to him are both alike Wâ—… then shall I yet doe Abide his wrath I cannot endure these troubles vexatioâ—… and impoverishings and heart-breakings aâ—… soule-bleeding perturbations any longer I cannot and yet whither to goe or flee to shun and avoyd them I know not Well I am yet resolved what I will doe Yes 't is my onely way and doe it I must I will Since I cannot flee from God I will flee to God And yet I will flee from him from his wrath from his anger from his displeasure and for all that I will flee to him allso and to none but him to his mercy to his promises to his tender compassions which never faile I have displeased him with my sinns but I will displease my selfe for thus displeasing my kind my good my loving God I have moved the holy one of Israel to anger by mine iniquities But I will be angry with my selfe for moving him in whom I live Act 17 28. and move and have my being I will come unto him with teares mee thinks mine eyes already begin to water and I will cry unto him Iob. 34.28 Ps 65.2 for hee heareth the cry of the afflicted and I will pray unto him for hee is a god that heareth prayer and I will sigh unto him for he caused a marke to be set upon the fore-heads of those in Ierusalem who did sigh and cry for all the abominations which were done in the midst Ez 9.4 thereof Oh who can forbeare a shewer of teares that is but the least sensible of the stormes of our calamities Iud. 5.15 Who can choose but have greate thoughts of heart for these divisions of Reuben For my part surely my heart is not all stone some part of it at least is flesh and therefore it must needs be sensible both of the generall sufferances and of my particuler miserable condition Our Chirurgians have a stone composed by art which they call the infernall stone with which they stupifie and make dead the flesh where they intend to make an orifice for a fountenell or issue From my heart should issue a fountaine of sorrow for the cause of my God's displeasure and yet I am afraid mee thinks to have the orifice made I would be content to grieve but mee thinks I would not have it painfull I would doe it at cheape rates O but I must both grieve and I must be pained too yea I must be cut to the heart yet not as were the high Priest and the Counsell Act. 5.29 when Peter and Iohn tould them that they ought to obey God rather then men where upon they were cut to the heart and tooke counsell to slay them vers 33 c. 7.54 nor as they were cut to the heart when they gnashed with their teeth upon Stephen but I must howsoever be cut or at least I must be pricked at the heart as were Peter's converts c 2.37 when they said unto him and to the rest of the Apostles Men and brethren what shall wee doe Oh but I am afraid that I shall not be sensible enough for I feare that I have an infernall stone lying upon my heart which the devill layeth there purposely that I may not be sensible Well if thus it be I shall find it by the working by the tingling I am sure that God now doth a Thing in our Israel 1. Sam. 3.11 at which both the eares of every one that heareth