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the_o gradual_a growth_n of_o all_o the_o young_a tender_a branch_n in_o his_o vineyard_n and_o in_o train_v up_o his_o babe_n in_o the_o first_o knowledge_n of_o he_o feed_v the_o one_o with_o milk_n and_o the_o other_o with_o meat_n know_v well_o what_o each_o stand_n in_o need_n of_o and_o can_v bear_v either_o of_o his_o smile_n or_o correct_v stripe_n order_v each_o by_o degree_n to_o the_o perfect_a of_o grace_n in_o the_o soul_n and_o make_v it_o meet_v for_o eternal_a glory_n the_o experience_n whereof_o help_v the_o soul_n to_o answer_v the_o objection_n of_o some_o serious_a christian_n but_o not_o exact_a observer_n who_o will_v reply_v upon_o impart_v a_o particular_a method_n of_o god_n with_o a_o soul_n by_o way_n of_o caution_n you_o must_v be_v careful_a not_o to_o depend_v upon_o that_o particular_a way_n god_n act_n with_o you_o in_o lest_o satan_n make_v it_o a_o temptation_n to_o unbelief_n and_o distrust_n of_o god_n and_o yourselves_o when_o he_o shall_v please_v to_o walk_v in_o another_o road_n with_o your_o soul_n but_o general_a and_o strict_a observer_n find_v god_n way_n to_o be_v thus_o that_o according_a to_o the_o infancy_n or_o manhood_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o christianity_n or_o according_a to_o the_o different_a step_n of_o advance_v the_o soul_n towards_o this_o manhood_n so_o god_n way_n to_o be_v various_a and_o according_a to_o his_o different_a end_n so_o his_o course_n lead_v thereto_o usual_o to_o be_v different_a marvellous_a argument_n indeed_o of_o infinite_a wisdom_n love_n and_o compassion_n in_o our_o great_a god_n instruction_n enough_o to_o make_v we_o stand_v off_o from_o prescribe_v method_n according_a to_o our_o inclination_n or_o expectation_n but_o instruction_n to_o keep_v ourselves_o close_o in_o the_o observation_n of_o his_o way_n in_o continual_a prayer_n for_o a_o sight_n of_o his_o design_n and_o the_o obtain_v the_o establishment_n of_o faith_n though_o the_o method_n of_o god_n be_v never_o so_o 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weakness_n and_o strength_n of_o divine_a love_n establish_v their_o trust_n to_o himself_o and_o try_v their_o reliance_n upon_o he_o as_o a_o comfortable_a evidence_n of_o that_o strength_n of_o grace_n and_o thereby_o to_o lead_v they_o to_o the_o sacrifice_n of_o continual_a praise_n admiration_n and_o love_n to_o he_o how_o different_a be_v christ_n carriage_n to_o the_o leper_n from_o his_o act_n with_o the_o woman_n of_o canaan_n who_o faith_n far_o exceed_v the_o other_o the_o leper_n much_o weak_a in_o faith_n have_v the_o return_n of_o his_o prayer_n immediate_o but_o she_o much_o strong_a in_o faith_n have_v the_o return_n great_o defer_v with_o the_o intermixture_n of_o many_o try_v passage_n of_o christ_n with_o his_o own_o silence_n to_o her_o own_o petition_n and_o with_o his_o call_v she_o a_o dog_n as_o if_o she_o be_v unworthy_a to_o be_v take_v notice_n of_o much_o less_o to_o receive_v of_o
to_o a_o divine_a agency_n the_o true_a reason_n chance_n be_v so_o much_o in_o our_o ear_n and_o general_a reliance_n upon_o god_n be_v so_o little_a powerful_a in_o many_o profess_v christian_n in_o our_o day_n to_o establish_v this_o experience_n god_n make_v use_v of_o the_o follow_v three_o mean_n gradual_o each_o after_o other_o the_o first_o be_v concern_v one_o dangerous_o ill_a who_o sickness_n in_o its_o nature_n seem_v mortal_a in_o the_o thought_n of_o physician_n and_o other_o assistant_n and_o be_v accompany_v with_o such_o passage_n of_o dream_n and_o other_o thing_n that_o in_o the_o old_a time_n and_o too_o much_o now_o in_o our_o time_n be_v repute_v certain_a presage_n of_o death_n in_o the_o interim_n i_o think_v with_o myself_o that_o if_o a_o recovery_n shall_v happen_v nothing_o can_v be_v in_o those_o thing_n fit_a to_o be_v depend_v upon_o and_o therefore_o shall_v no_o more_o regard_v they_o and_o one_o day_n go_v thence_o in_o a_o coach_n alone_o i_o find_v 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the_o numerousness_n of_o undertake_n in_o the_o latter_a part_n of_o a_o week_n to_o those_o that_o fall_v out_o in_o the_o forepart_n thereof_o which_o be_v in_o observation_n unsuitable_a to_o example_n and_o though_o the_o observation_n of_o other_o omen_n be_v suitable_a to_o the_o too-much_o example_n of_o other_o yet_o altogether_o unwarrant_v by_o divine_a scripture_n yea_o threaten_v to_o be_v accompany_v with_o evil_a jonah_n 2._o v_o 8._o they_o that_o observe_v lie_v vanity_n forsake_v their_o own_o mercy_n psal_n 31.6_o i_o have_v hate_v they_o that_o regard_n lie_v vanity_n but_o i_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n how_o agreeable_a be_v it_o to_o the_o infinite_a wisdom_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n to_o bring_v i_o from_o trust_v any_o thing_n as_o a_o bless_a mean_n of_o reliance_n upon_o god_n alone_o and_o therefore_o i_o have_v observe_v that_o according_a as_o the_o first_o have_v be_v gradual_o cut_v off_o so_o the_o gradual_a growth_n of_o dependence_n upon_o god_n in_o all_o thing_n have_v sensible_o spring_v up_o and_o though_o the_o effect_n of_o this_o divine_a passage_n be_v a_o great_a distrust_n of_o those_o vain_a thing_n yet_o god_n be_v not_o please_v to_o rest_v here_o but_o to_o take_v a_o three_o mean_n of_o advance_v this_o bless_a grace_n of_o reliance_n and_o lay_v low_o this_o sinful_a esteem_n of_o natural_a cause_n be_v a_o severe_a fit_a of_o sickness_n accompany_v from_o the_o first_o apprehension_n of_o it_o to_o its_o perfect_a removal_n with_o such_o providential_a step_n as_o bespeak_v plain_o a_o divine_a power_n without_o mean_n draw_v my_o soul_n irresistible_o to_o the_o observation_n of_o and_o dependence_n upon_o he_o at_o least_o with_o the_o use_n of_o mean_n one_o step_v whereof_o be_v a_o fix_a apprehension_n of_o a_o fit_a of_o sickness_n imminent_a and_o that_o as_o a_o just_a punishment_n for_o my_o trust_n to_o omen_n of_o natural_a event_n which_o god_n by_o his_o merciful_a condescension_n turn_v about_o as_o a_o spiritual_a remedy_n to_o that_o reign_a illness_n then_o too_o much_o in_o my_o soul_n a_o second_o step_v be_v a_o unexpressible_a nearness_n to_o god_n in_o fellowship_n with_o he_o ravish_v my_o soul_n at_o the_o time_n with_o that_o comfortable_a view_n as_o it_o be_v of_o heaven_n and_o despise_v thing_n below_o that_o i_o can_v not_o have_v bear_v up_o if_o it_o have_v continue_v long_o and_o that_o immediate_o before_o the_o first_o assault_n of_o my_o illness_n a_o three_o be_v the_o sensible_a withdraw_n of_o this_o frame_n for_o some_o day_n till_o near_o the_o danger_n of_o be_v delirious_a and_o the_o use_n of_o such_o mean_n as_o former_o have_v never_o be_v use_v towards_o i_o on_o purpose_n for_o its_o prevention_n a_o four_o be_v that_o my_o soul_n be_v in_o a_o spiritual_a and_o heavenly_a frame_n and_o carry_v forth_o with_o that_o amaze_a strength_n to_o pray_v for_o ease_n to_o my_o head_n and_o preservation_n from_o deliriousness_n with_o such_o a_o immediate_a return_n that_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v my_o head_n be_v easy_a and_o my_o judgement_n clear_a in_o a_o moment_n after_o this_o address_n and_o though_o without_o any_o rest_n for_o some_o day_n yet_o i_o be_v as_o free_v in_o my_o head_n as_o ever_o to_o my_o own_o apprehension_n this_o amaze_v i_o at_o the_o time_n and_o give_v occasion_n to_o lay_v aside_o the_o clyster_n and_o blister_n which_o my_o worthy_a physician_n have_v prescribe_v tell_v my_o nurse_n a_o godly_a woman_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v do_v it_o a_o five_o step_v of_o divine_a agency_n be_v the_o powerful_a carry_v forth_o of_o my_o soul_n in_o prayer_n after_o recovery_n upon_o these_o two_o petition_n which_o have_v continue_v to_o be_v express_v in_o all_o my_o address_n to_o heaven_n ever_o since_o that_o time_n and_o have_v marvellous_o continue_v to_o be_v return_v since_o then_o the_o petition_n be_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v advance_v a_o work_n of_o faith_n and_o that_o perfect_o in_o 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feel_v in_o the_o soul_n be_v believe_v the_o day_n have_v be_v when_o in_o all_o the_o outward_a part_n of_o god_n worship_n i_o have_v make_v a_o specious_a show_n but_o from_o no_o other_o principle_n than_o that_o of_o education_n be_v altogether_o ignorant_a of_o any_o inward_a comfort_n in_o duty_n and_o without_o longing_n after_o it_o imagine_v it_o to_o be_v more_o talk_v of_o than_o real_o enjoy_v this_o can_v have_v be_v my_o case_n alone_o but_o i_o dare_v say_v the_o case_n of_o many_o profess_v christian_n who_o have_v have_v religious_a education_n and_o therefore_o my_o method_n have_v be_v not_o only_o to_o show_v the_o evidence_n of_o a_o change_n but_o the_o step_n of_o god_n way_n thereto_o and_o the_o few_o easy_a mean_n make_v use_v of_o by_o myself_o and_o successful_o bless_v by_o the_o divine_a spirit_n and_o if_o this_o be_v not_o the_o fruit_n of_o my_o labour_n to_o bring_v you_o to_o the_o use_n of_o these_o mean_n that_o you_o may_v lay_v yourself_o in_o 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his_o child_n food_n mercy_n in_o answer_n to_o prayer_n the_o lord_n know_v her_o strength_n and_o adapt_v his_o way_n of_o trial_n thereto_o which_o issue_v in_o honour_n to_o he_o and_o evidence_n to_o herself_o of_o the_o greatness_n of_o her_o faith_n when_o christ_n see_v peter_n faith_n as_o a_o rock_n to_o build_v his_o church_n upon_o he_o than_o tell_v he_o of_o the_o suffering_n to_o attend_v he_o and_o all_o that_o will_v follow_v after_o christ_n his_o faith_n be_v gradual_o bring_v up_o to_o such_o a_o strength_n enable_v he_o to_o bear_v this_o report_n which_o perhaps_o in_o the_o beginning_n may_v have_v discourage_v he_o to_o follow_v christ_n or_o his_o rule_n when_o therefore_o we_o be_v as_o moses_n we_o may_v be_v keep_v six_o day_n on_o the_o mount_n before_o the_o answer_n of_o prayer_n come_v gen._n c._n 24._o let_v we_o therefore_o admire_v god_n wisdom_n and_o love_n in_o first_o plant_v or_o further_a carry_v on_o grace_n in_o the_o soul_n let_v we_o be_v 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thereof_o and_o produce_v the_o great_a establishment_n therein_o in_o the_o soul_n another_o instance_n of_o the_o seven_o experience_n be_v concern_v some_o with_o who_o i_o have_v have_v to_o do_v in_o matter_n of_o concern_v but_o at_o a_o distance_n from_o i_o and_o without_o any_o other_o opportunity_n of_o hear_v the_o proceed_n or_o success_n of_o endeavour_n than_o by_o letter_n i_o have_v find_v that_o though_o i_o have_v design_v before_o the_o come_n in_o of_o the_o post_n to_o supplicate_v for_o a_o good_a account_n yet_o have_v not_o be_v able_a to_o say_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o concern_v the_o matter_n answerable_a to_o which_o no_o letter_n have_v come_v or_o other_o petition_n and_o word_n concern_v the_o matter_n have_v be_v spiritual_o dart_v up_o to_o heaven_n than_o be_v design_v correspondent_a to_o which_o the_o
account_n receive_v have_v exact_o answer_v the_o petition_n and_o utterance_n actual_o put_v forth_o and_o not_o to_o they_o only_o design_v to_o be_v express_v in_o prayer_n a_o nine_o experience_n of_o certainty_n of_o access_n to_o god_n and_o of_o his_o spirit_n be_v breathe_v power_n on_o the_o soul_n to_o ask_v what_o he_o know_v be_v to_o be_v return_v have_v be_v concern_v a_o design_n of_o three_o different_a endeavour_n at_o one_o time_n and_o prayer_n for_o guidance_n a_o mean_v make_v use_n of_o i_o have_v find_v all_o shadow_n of_o spiritual_a enlargement_n in_o prayer_n concern_v it_o strong_o withhold_v and_o so_o indeed_o have_v the_o least_o degree_n of_o successful_a endeavour_n but_o for_o the_o second_o enlargement_n only_o once_o suitable_a to_o which_o successful_a endeavour_n in_o one_o circumstance_n thereof_o and_o at_o that_o very_a time_n do_v occur_v and_o for_o the_o three_o such_o heavenliness_n of_o frame_n in_o petition_v not_o only_o once_o but_o all_o 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imagine_v a_o smile_a providence_n eminent_a from_o the_o frequency_n of_o this_o suit_n to_o the_o lord_n undesign_v but_o great_o assist_v to_o petition_v it_o i_o have_v often_o experience_v that_o when_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o be_v thus_o carry_v out_o to_o petition_v lowness_n of_o mind_n either_o before_o or_o in_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o outward_a advancement_n that_o either_o security_n therein_o have_v fall_v out_o afterward_o embitter_v my_o thought_n or_o some_o circumstance_n in_o the_o thing_n enjoy_v that_o have_v embitter_v its_o sweetness_n or_o remove_v its_o satisfaction_n nothing_o be_v more_o satisfactory_a to_o a_o christian_a soul_n as_o the_o reception_n of_o a_o outward_a favour_n by_o special_a step_n of_o providence_n argument_n of_o divine_a favour_n accompany_v with_o such_o strength_n of_o a_o divine_a spirit_n as_o enable_v the_o soul_n to_o improve_v it_o with_o the_o exercise_n of_o love_n and_o reliance_n upon_o the_o bestower_n and_o to_o keep_v the_o soul_n satisfaction_n therein_o in_o its_o true_a bound_n more_o upon_o the_o discovery_n of_o god_n love_n thereby_o than_o upon_o the_o thing_n itself_o enjoy_v as_o the_o experience_n already_o lay_v before_o you_o relate_v to_o outward_a enjoyment_n so_o now_o i_o shall_v give_v you_o some_o experience_n respect_v spiritual_a enjoyment_n answerable_a to_o christ_n spirit_n breathe_v influencing-strength_n to_o petition_v they_o a_o first_o experience_n thereof_o be_v when_o spiritual_o carry_v out_o to_o ask_v for_o humility_n previous_a to_o any_o spiritual_a improvement_n as_o well_o as_o before_o any_o temporal_a enjoyment_n and_o when_o security_n accompany_v with_o the_o intermission_n of_o the_o mean_n of_o grace_n have_v follow_v any_o inward_a advancement_n then_o have_v a_o cloudy_v of_o what_o be_v a_o inward_a comfort_a evidence_n to_o the_o soul_n issue_v but_o when_o the_o soul_n have_v be_v carry_v forth_o to_o ask_v it_o before_o hand_n or_o in_o the_o time_n by_o way_n of_o return_n thereto_o the_o soul_n posture_n have_v be_v in_o the_o exercise_n of_o self-debasement_n and_o exultation_n of_o and_o dependence_n upon_o christ_n spirit_n for_o produce_v such_o a_o marvellous_a change_n in_o the_o soul_n without_o the_o least_o exalt_v think_v of_o self_n i_o remember_v that_o one_o day_n in_o conversation_n with_o that_o holy_a saint_n mention_v before_o i_o express_v myself_o concern_v to_o know_v the_o reality_n of_o my_o grace_n to_o which_o he_o humble_o reply_v i_o have_v not_o have_v the_o least_o cloud_n as_o to_o my_o interest_n in_o heaven_n but_o shall_v rejoice_v to_o experience_n that_o measure_n of_o confirm_v passage_n of_o god_n special_a love_n as_o i_o know_v you_o have_v enjoy_v the_o effect_n whereof_o i_o find_v some_o quiet_n of_o mind_n but_o by_o the_o wise_a overrule_a hand_n of_o god_n be_v follow_v with_o such_o cloudy_a darkness_n of_o mind_n lest_o satan_n have_v excite_v self-exultation_n or_o sinful_a security_n till_o in_o the_o follow_a evening-prayer_n god_n carry_v i_o forth_o to_o bless_v his_o name_n for_o the_o evidence_n of_o his_o love_n and_o to_o petition_v humility_n in_o their_o enjoyment_n the_o darkness_n disappear_v and_o his_o discourse_n be_v bear_v home_o with_o the_o alone_a effect_n of_o quiet_a of_o mind_n love_n to_o and_o reliance_n upon_o god_n and_o that_o with_o humble_a thought_n of_o self_n second_o i_o have_v find_v that_o previous_a to_o any_o victory_n over_o some_o particular_a sin_n i_o have_v be_v help_v wonderful_o to_o plead_v with_o god_n on_o this_o very_a account_n in_o a_o most_o near_o and_o sensible_a approach_n to_o he_o for_o conquest_n over_o sin_n that_o scripture_n be_v at_o the_o time_n often_o and_o comfortable_a in_o my_o thought_n nay_o more_o than_o conqueror_n through_o he_o that_o love_v we_o answerable_a to_o which_o temptation_n to_o these_o have_v occur_v sin_n but_o victory_n of_o they_o have_v be_v my_o mercy_n both_o as_o a_o return_n to_o the_o prayer_n christ_n spirit_n help_v i_o to_o ask_v and_o as_o a_o evidence_n of_o such_o a_o change_n in_o my_o soul_n as_o bespeak_v my_o interest_n in_o christ_n by_o the_o evident_a supply_n of_o his_o strength_n enable_v i_o to_o be_v victor_n of_o those_o sin_n that_o former_o i_o give_v way_n to_o three_o when_o god_n have_v be_v to_o afford_v i_o the_o evidence_n of_o great_a supply_n of_o strength_n to_o suppress_v wander_a thought_n in_o duty_n sudden_o and_o powerful_o for_o some_o time_n ardent_a desire_n and_o great_a spirituality_n in_o petition_v god_n have_v seize_v i_o answerable_a to_o which_o marvellous_a freedom_n from_o wander_a thought_n have_v occur_v and_o that_o in_o all_o the_o duty_n i_o have_v be_v exercise_v in_o a_o remarkable_a instance_n of_o this_o experience_n be_v when_o at_o a_o certain_a time_n my_o petition_n run_v out_o for_o strength_n to_o overcome_v wander_v in_o duty_n with_o full_a assistance_n of_o god_n spirit_n to_o supplicate_v and_o by_o a_o passage_n of_o providence_n establish_v my_o comfort_n though_o wander_n prevail_v and_o a_o mean_a of_o help_v forward_o my_o victory_n therein_o the_o passage_n of_o providence_n be_v thus_o be_v one_o sabbath-morning_n hinder_v from_o my_o ordinary_a place_n of_o hear_v and_o have_v a_o opportunity_n of_o hear_v sermon_n in_o the_o afternoon_n i_o find_v my_o desire_n with_o a_o constrain_a force_n towards_o another_o place_n and_o minister_n which_o be_v so_o strong_a without_o any_o rational_a motive_n thereto_o that_o i_o will_v not_o be_v hinder_v though_o several_a difficulty_n occur_v in_o my_o way_n in_o the_o hear_n of_o which_o sermon_n my_o disposition_n be_v so_o spiritual_a that_o my_o thought_n have_v full_a flight_n thither_o and_o i_o in_o the_o exercise_n of_o low_a esteem_n of_o the_o earth_n with_o all_o its_o allurement_n but_o which_o be_v the_o circumstance_n most_o remarkable_a be_v a_o question_n a_o minister_n be_v desire_v to_o answer_v to_o what_o shall_v be_v do_v to_o help_v wander_a thought_n in_o duty_n which_o be_v the_o very_a thing_n my_o mind_n be_v hurry_v withal_o then_o the_o thing_n christ_n spirit_n be_v help_v i_o to_o petition_v strength_n against_o and_o to_o which_o he_o be_v give_v return_n with_o sensible_a supply_n and_o with_o this_o passage_n of_o providence_n quiet_v my_o mind_n and_o as_o a_o help_n to_o forward_o my_o endeavour_n and_o victory_n over_o it_o his_o word_n be_v that_o it_o be_v a_o complaint_n common_a to_o all_o believer_n so_o long_o as_o there_o be_v a_o sense_n and_o concern_v for_o it_o the_o christian_n be_v not_o overcome_v by_o it_o go_v therefore_o on_o not_o only_o strive_v against_o it_o but_o beg_v the_o lord_n aid_n to_o vanquish_v it_o four_o previous_a to_o a_o sensible_a change_n in_o myself_o as_o to_o watchfulness_n in_o conversation_n against_o reproach_v of_o other_o sudden_o and_o undesigned_o and_o for_o some_o continue_a time_n my_o soul_n be_v carry_v
opportunity_n of_o allay_v the_o reproach_n and_o of_o perfect_o prevent_v any_o lawsuit_n against_o i_o though_o i_o can_v full_o stop_v the_o fury_n of_o a_o malicious_a tongue_n yet_o i_o can_v express_v myself_o concern_v its_o continuance_n without_o praise_v the_o infinite_a love_n of_o a_o divine_a be_v in_o it_o and_o the_o great_a improvement_n by_o it_o find_v that_o often_o a_o cold_a lazy_a frame_n of_o soul_n and_o the_o renew_n of_o this_o reproach_n meet_v together_o and_o that_o the_o immediate_a effect_n of_o the_o latter_a be_v most_o a_o change_n from_o this_o lazy_a frame_n to_o a_o spiritual_a heavenly_a posture_n of_o soul_n with_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o sweet_a fellowship_n with_o god_n in_o prayer_n concern_v it_o great_o help_v i_o from_o anxiety_n and_o disquiet_n under_o it_o with_o a_o design_n and_o endeavour_v to_o comply_v with_o the_o bless_a end_n of_o god_n in_o it_o another_o circumstance_n great_o remarkable_a in_o this_o instance_n have_v be_v that_o without_o any_o other_o mean_v of_o endeavour_n to_o defend_v myself_o by_o reproach_v again_o or_o the_o like_a but_o pure_o by_o the_o lay_v it_o before_o the_o throne_n of_o god_n the_o repeat_v reproach_n have_v either_o be_v still_o or_o frustrate_v which_o at_o first_o occasion_v some_o doubt_n in_o my_o thought_n whether_o i_o shall_v not_o by_o go_v to_o this_o or_o the_o other_o clear_v myself_o and_o not_o presumptuous_o expect_v deliverance_n without_o mean_n but_o find_v my_o vindication_n to_o themselves_o of_o no_o effect_n and_o my_o vindication_n of_o myself_o to_o other_o will_v occasion_v aspersion_n upon_o they_o i_o be_v still_o and_o use_v the_o mean_n of_o prayer_n and_o be_v careful_a of_o not_o give_v they_o further_a occasion_n to_o reproach_n and_o find_v great_a success_n and_o dare_v recommend_v it_o to_o the_o practice_n of_o other_o not_o only_o from_o my_o own_o experience_n but_o from_o the_o psalmist_n who_o in_o psal_n 38._o v._n 13._o express_v himself_o thus_o i_o as_o a_o deaf_a man_n hear_v not_o and_o as_o a_o dumb_a man_n open_v not_o my_o mouth_n no_o doubt_n but_o he_o can_v have_v use_v reasonable_a argument_n to_o prove_v his_o innocency_n but_o in_o v_o 15._o he_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n in_o like_a manner_n when_o i_o have_v be_v enable_v by_o prayer_n with_o great_a exercise_n of_o faith_n therein_o to_o lay_v the_o case_n at_o god_n foot_n and_o trusting_o to_o hope_v in_o he_o i_o have_v find_v all_o power_n of_o the_o reproach_n go_v off_o i_o desire_v therefore_o what_o time_n i_o be_o afraid_a to_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n and_o this_o very_a experience_n have_v be_v a_o bless_a mean_a to_o bring_v forth_o this_o desire_n in_o my_o soul_n psal_n 56._o v._n 9_o when_o i_o cry_v to_o thou_o in_o a_o believe_a heavenly_a posture_n than_o my_o enemy_n shall_v draw_v back_o when_o god_n strengthen_v a_o soul_n by_o his_o divine_a spirit_n under_o reproach_n to_o cry_v unto_o he_o either_o the_o reproacher_n will_v cease_v or_o their_o reproach_n will_v be_v without_o effect_n or_o recoil_v upon_o themselves_o to_o this_o experience_n i_o subjoin_v the_o follow_a observation_n that_o upon_o hear_v a_o reproach_n and_o serious_o reflect_v upon_o myself_o i_o have_v often_o find_v it_o as_o a_o just_a punishment_n and_o a_o immediate_a return_n to_o sin_n of_o my_o own_o either_o of_o reproach_v the_o same_o person_n with_o the_o same_o or_o another_o sort_n of_o reproach_n or_o some_o body_n else_o by_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o reproach_n and_o so_o a_o sense_n of_o my_o own_o fault_n with_o a_o discovery_n of_o love_n from_o god_n therein_o and_o a_o watch_n over_o myself_o unto_o prayer_n and_o against_o reproach_v by_o this_o very_a reflection_n have_v be_v bring_v forth_o accept_v the_o reproach_n as_o shimei_n be_v take_v god_n bid_v he_o a_o nine_o experience_n of_o advance_v faith_n be_v by_o the_o great_a sudden_a and_o unexpected_a supply_n that_o have_v come_v in_o suitable_a to_o want_v and_o to_o my_o firm_a dependence_n upon_o god_n through_o former_a experience_n of_o his_o way_n i_o have_v find_v that_o though_o supply_v have_v be_v defer_v for_o some_o considerable_a time_n yea_o even_o to_o the_o very_a last_o moment_n yet_o they_o have_v come_v in_o so_o seasonable_o to_o my_o need_n that_o god_n in_o his_o method_n of_o bestow_v they_o have_v take_v trial_n of_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o dependence_n upon_o he_o and_o so_o have_v afford_v i_o a_o comfortable_a evidence_n of_o that_o grace_n and_o give_v a_o discovery_n of_o the_o immediateness_n of_o his_o hand_n in_o bring_v they_o about_o as_o well_o as_o produce_v thereby_o a_o trust_n on_o himself_o sometime_o i_o have_v find_v supply_v defer_v for_o a_o long_a time_n that_o if_o former_a experience_n of_o god_n way_n of_o try_v my_o faith_n and_o further_o establish_v it_o thereby_o have_v not_o preserve_v in_o i_o a_o divine_a strength_n i_o shall_v have_v be_v ready_a to_o droop_v but_o even_o then_o such_o a_o true_a reliance_n upon_o god_n in_o the_o time_n of_o long_a delay_n i_o have_v follow_v always_o with_o such_o numerous_a successful_a passage_n as_o afford_v more_o than_o if_o providence_n have_v walk_v in_o its_o usual_a course_n when_o therefore_o by_o such_o step_n and_o supply_v follow_v a_o true_a reliance_n under_o those_o delay_n have_v occur_v afterward_o how_o ungrateful_a have_v it_o be_v not_o to_o regard_v god_n in_o the_o thing_n or_o not_o observe_v his_o way_n with_o the_o improvement_n of_o a_o reliance_n upon_o he_o i_o have_v observe_v that_o so_o soon_o as_o observation_n of_o god_n way_n and_o settlement_n of_o faith_n in_o himself_o thereby_o be_v bring_v forth_o that_o then_o the_o lord_n method_n have_v vary_v with_o i_o both_o as_o to_o time_n and_o thing_n appear_v in_o a_o time_n and_o in_o a_o matter_n and_o way_n unexpected_a and_o all_o on_o purpose_n to_o advance_v my_o dependence_n upon_o god_n at_o all_o time_n and_o in_o all_o sort_n of_o concern_v a_o ten_o experience_n of_o advance_v reliance_n upon_o god_n be_v by_o his_o make_n outward_a diligent_a lawful_a and_o commendable_a endeavour_n altogether_o unsuccessful_a till_o he_o have_v found_v it_o and_o gradual_o advance_v this_o dependence_n upon_o himself_o the_o obtain_v undertake_n and_o success_n therein_o have_v be_v keep_v in_o a_o constant_a stream_n of_o special_a providence_n so_o that_o when_o any_o undertake_n through_o my_o own_o interest_n have_v be_v near_o it_o either_o have_v not_o occur_v or_o most_o common_o prove_v unsuccessful_a and_o undertake_n have_v be_v never_o more_o frequent_o successful_a than_o when_o most_o remote_a from_o common_a method_n of_o obtain_v they_o and_o i_o have_v be_v most_o near_o to_o god_n in_o prayer_n concern_v they_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v i_o never_o find_v myself_o without_o this_o encouragement_n of_o successful_a undertake_n but_o my_o frame_n of_o soul_n have_v be_v dead_a cold_a and_o lifeless_a and_o my_o intermission_n from_o heavenliness_n of_o frame_n visible_a and_o i_o have_v never_o find_v myself_o in_o continue_a fellowship_n with_o god_n in_o prayer_n and_o meditation_n but_o numerous_a undertake_n have_v fall_v in_o my_o way_n and_o that_o with_o marvellous_a success_n unless_o unsuccessfulness_n be_v necessary_a for_o one_o good_a end_n or_o other_o plain_o appear_v in_o the_o circumstance_n of_o god_n providential_a conduct_n therein_o sometime_o for_o the_o discovery_n or_o punishment_n of_o one_o failure_n or_o other_o in_o myself_o all_o which_o have_v abundant_o lay_v open_a to_o my_o view_n the_o immediateness_n of_o god_n hand_n in_o all_o thing_n here_o below_o the_o great_a advantage_n of_o interest_n in_o his_o special_a conduct_n and_o by_o the_o help_n of_o christ_n spirit_n raise_v a_o ardent_a desire_n of_o trust_v god_n in_o all_o my_o design_n even_o when_o most_o diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o mean_n a_o eleven_o experience_n of_o god_n design_n and_o method_n to_o advance_v faith_n of_o reliance_n be_v by_o the_o visible_a effect_n of_o these_o very_a experience_n establish_v my_o eye_n and_o thought_n upon_o god_n either_o in_o respect_n of_o strength_n to_o act_v duty_n as_o please_v to_o himself_o or_o in_o respect_n of_o special_a providence_n bring_v all_o thing_n unto_o my_o hand_n that_o nothing_o have_v make_v the_o mercy_n relish_v more_o with_o i_o than_o that_o circumstance_n of_o specialness_n of_o a_o divine_a hand_n in_o bring_v it_o about_o yea_o i_o may_v say_v that_o the_o most_o comfortable_a favour_n on_o this_o earth_n have_v nothing_o of_o solid_a sweetness_n in_o it_o without_o a_o discovery_n of_o favour_n from_o heaven_n therein_o and_o that_o the_o most_o afflict_a disappointment_n and_o disturb_v evil_a wherein_o the_o design_n of_o god_n love_n have_v appear_v in_o his_o providential_a order_n of_o
it_o have_v be_v more_o acceptable_a to_o my_o soul_n than_o a_o outward_a blessing_n wherein_o special_a love_n have_v not_o be_v so_o clear_o discoverable_a the_o method_n of_o god_n advance_v reliance_n have_v be_v by_o sometime_o delay_v the_o answer_n of_o prayer_n and_o withhold_a its_o return_n long_o than_o usual_a though_o there_o have_v be_v evidence_n of_o its_o acceptance_n in_o heaven_n and_o that_o sometime_o to_o the_o last_o extremity_n of_o a_o matter_n concern_v a_o eminent_a instance_n whereof_o be_v concern_v a_o affair_n where_o act_v or_o not_o act_v in_o it_o carry_v along_o the_o danger_n of_o great_a disgrace_n and_o disadvantage_n and_o determine_v with_o myself_o not_o to_o act_v be_v by_o a_o irresistible_a passage_n of_o providence_n constrain_v to_o move_v in_o the_o matter_n which_o at_o first_o seem_v to_o damp_n my_o hope_n that_o my_o prayer_n concern_v it_o be_v accept_v but_o the_o return_n exact_o suit_v my_o frame_n and_o desire_n express_v in_o 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