eyes to testifie my spiritual sicknes I stand in the way of tentations naturally necessarily all men doe so for there is a Snake in euery path tentations in euery vocation but I go I run I flie into the wayes of teÌ„tation which I might shun nay I breake into houses wher the plague is I presse into places of tentation and tempt the deuill himselfe and solicite importune them who had rather be left vnsolicited by me I fall sick of Sin and am bedded and bedrid buried and putrified in the practise of Sin and all this while haâ—e no presage no pulse no sense of my sicknesse O heighth O depth of misery where the first Symptome of the sicknes is Hell where I neuer fee the feuer of lust of enuy of ambition by any other light then the darknesse and horror of Hell it selfe â— where the first Messenger that speaks to me doth not sayâ— Thou mayst die no nor Thou must die but Thou art dead and where the first notice that my Soule hath of her sicknes is irrecouerablenes irremediablenes but O my God Iob did not charge thee foolishly in his temporall afflictions nor may I in my spirituall Thou hast imprinted a pulse in our Soule but we do not examine it a voice in our conscience but wee doe not hearken vnto it We talk it out we iest it out we drinke it out we sleepe it out and when wee wake we doe not say with Iacob Surely the Lord is in this place and I knew it not but though we might know it we do not we wil not But will God pretend to make a Watch and leaue out the springe to make so many various wheels in the faculties of the Soule and in the organs of the body and leaue out Grace that should moue them or wil God make a springe and not wind it vp Infuse his first grace not second it with more without which we can no more vse his first grace when we haue it then wee could dispose our selues by Nature to haue it But alas that is not our case we are all prodigall sonnes and not disinherited wee haue receiued our portion and mis-spent it not bin denied it We are Gods tenants heere and yet here he our Land-lord payes vs Rents not yearely nor quarterly but hourely and quarterly Euery minute he renewes his mercy but wee will not vnderstand least that we should be conuerted and he should heale vs. 1. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who considered in thy selfe art a Circle first and last and altogether but considered in thy working vpon vs art a direct line and leadest vs from our beginning through all our wayes to our end enable me by thy grace to looke forward to mine end and to looke backward to to the coÌ„siderations of thy mercies afforded mee from the beginning that so by that practise of considering thy mercy in my beginning in this world when thou plaÌ„tedst me in the Christian Church and thy mercy in the beginning in the other world wheÌ„ thou writest me in the Booke of life in my Election I may come to a holy consideration of thy mercy in the beginning of all my actions hereâ— That in all the beginâ—nings in all the accesses and approches of spiriâ—tuall sicknesses of Sinn may heare and hearkeâ— to that voice O thou Maâ— of God there is death in thâ— pot and so refraine from that which I was so hungerly so greedily flying to A faithfull Amâ—bassador is health says thy wise seruant Solomon â— Thy voice receiued in the beginning of a sicknesse of a sinne is true health If I can see that light betimes and heare that voyce early Then shall my light breake forth as the morning and my health shall spriug foorth speedily Deliuer mee therefore O my God from these vaine imaginations that it is an ouercurious thing a dangerous thing to come to that tendernesse that rawnesse that scrupulousnesse to feare euery concupiscence euery offer of Sin that this suspicious iealous diligence will turne to an inordinate deiection of spirit and a diffidence in thy care prouidence buâ— keep me still establish'd both in a constant assurance that thou wilâ— speake to me at the beginning of euery such sicknes at the approach of euery such Sinne and that if I take knowledg of that voice then anâ— flye to thee thou wilâ— preserue mee from falling or raise me againe when by naturall infirmitieâ— I am fallen doâ— this O Lord for his sake who knowes our naturall infirmities for he had them and knowes the weight of our sinns for he paid a deare price for them thy Sonne our Sauiour Chr Iesus Amen 2. Actio Laesa The strength and the functioÌ„ of the Senses other faculties change and faile 2. MEDITATION THe Heauens are not the lesse constant because they moue continually because they moue continually one and the same way The Earth is not the more constant because it lyes stil continually because continually it changes and melts in al the parts thereof Man who is the noblest part of the Earth melts so away as if he were a statue not of Earth but of Snowe We see his owne Enuie melts him hee growes leane with that he will say anothers beautie melts him but he feeles that a Feuer doth not melt him like snow but powr him out like lead like yron like brasse melted in a furnace It doth not only melt him but Calcine him reduce him to Atomes and to ashes not to water but to lime And how quickly Sooner then thou canst receiue an answer sooner then thou canst conceiue the question Earth is the center of my body Heauen is the center of my Soule these two are the naturall place of these two but thoâ— goe not to these two iâ— an equall place My bâ—â—dy falls downe withouâ— pushing my Soule doâ—â— not go vp without puâ—ling Ascension is mâ— Soules pace measurâ— but precipitation my bâ—dies And euen Angellâ— whose home is Heaueâ— and who are wingeâ— too yet had a Ladder 〈◊〉 goe to Heauen by stepâ— The Sunne who goes 〈◊〉 many miles in a minuâ—â— The Starres of the Fiâ—â—mament which go so very many more goe not so fast as my body to the earth In the same instant that I feele the first attempt of the disease I feele the victory In the twinckling of an eye I can scarse see instantly the tast is insipid and fatuous instantly the appetite is dull and desirelesseâ— instantly the knees are sinking and strengthlesse and in an instant sleepe which is the picture the copy of death is taken away that the Originall Death it selfe may succeed and that so I might haue death to the life It was part of Adams punishment In the sweat of thy browes thou shalt eate thy bread â— it is multiplied to me I haue earned bread in the sweat of my browes in the labor of my calling and I haue itâ— and I sweat againe
againe from the browâ— to the sole of the footâ— but I eat no bread I tast no sustenance Miserable distribution of Mankind where one halfe lackes meat and the other stomacke 2. EXPOSTVLATION DAuid professes himself a dead dog to his king Saul so doth Mephibosheth to his king Dauid yet Dauid speaks to Saul and Mephibosheth to Dauid No man is so little in respect of the greatest man as the greatest in respect of God for here in that wee haue not so much as a measure to try it by proportioÌ„ is no measure for infinitie He that hath no more of this world but a graue hee that hath his graue but lent him til a better man or another man must bee buried in the same graue he that hath no graue but a dung-hill hee that hath no more earth but that which he carries but that which hee is hee that hath not that earth which hee is but euen in that is anothers slaue hath as much proportion to God as if all Dauids Worthies and all the worlds Monarchs and all imaginations Gyants were kneaded and incorporated into one and as though that one were the suruiuor of all the sonnes of men to whom God had giuen the world And therefore how little soeuer I bee as God calls things that are not as though they were I who am as though I were not may call vpon God and say My God my God why comes thine anger so fast vpon me Why dost thou melt me scatter me powre me like water vpon the ground so instantly Thou staidst for the first world in Noahs time 120 yeres thou staidst for a rebellious generation in the wildernesse 40 yeares wilt thou stay no minute for me Wilt thou make thy Processe and thy Decree thy Citation and thy Iudgement but one act Thy Summons thy Battell thy Victorie thy Triumph all but one act lead me captiue nay deliuer me captiue to death assoon as thou declarest mee to be enemy and so cut me off euen with the drawing of thy sword out of the scabberd and for that question How long was he sicke leaue no other answere but that the hand of death pressed vpon him from the first minute My God my God thou wast not wont to come in whirlwinds but in soft and gentle ayre Thy first breath breathed a Soule into mee and shall thy breath blow it out Thy breath in the Congregation thy Word in the Church breathes communion and consolation here and consummation heereafâ—er shall thy breath in this Chamber breathe dissolution and destruction diuorce and separation Surely it is not thou it is not thy hand The deuouring sword the consuming fire the winds from the wildernes the diseases of the body all that afflicted Iob were from the hand of Satan it is not thou It is thou Thou my God who hast led mee so continually with thy hand from the hand of my Nurce as that I know thou wilt not correct mee but with thine own hand My parents would not giue mee ouer to a Seruants correction nor my God to Satans I am fallen into the handes of God with Dauid and with Dauid I see that his Mercies are great For by that mercy I consider in my present state not the haste the dispatch of the disease in dissoluing this bodyâ— so much as the much more hast dispatch which my God shal vse in recollectingâ— and reuniting this dust againe at the Resurrection Then I shall heare his Angels proclaime the Surgite Mâ—rtuiâ— Rise yee dead Though I be dead I shall heare the voice the spunding of the voice and the working of the voice shall be all one and all shall rise there in a lesse Minute then any one dies here 2. Prayer O Most gracious God who pursuest and perfitest thine own purposes and dost not only remember mee by the first accesses of this sicknes that I must die but informe me by this further proceeding therin that I may die now who hast not only waked mee with the first but cald me vp by casting me further downe and clothd me with thy selfe by stripping me of my selfe and by dulling my bodily senses to the meats and eases of this world hast whet and sharpned my spirituall senses to the apprehension of thee by what steps degrees soeuer it shal please thee to go in the dissolution of this body hasten O Lord that pace and multiply O my God those degrees in the exaltation of my Soule toward thee now to thee then My tast is not gone away but gone vp to sit at Dauids table To tast see that the Lord is good My stomach is not gone but gone vp so far vpwards toward the Supper of the Lamb with thy Saints in heauen as to the Table to the CoÌ„munion of thy Saints heere in earth my knees are weak but weak therfore that I should easily fall to and fix my selfe long vpon my deuotions to thee A sound heart is the life of the flesh a heart visited by thee and directed to thee by that visitation is a sound hart There is no soundnesse in my flesh because of thinâ— anger Interpret thinâ— owne worke and call this sicknes correction and not anger there is soundnes in my fleshâ— There is no rest in my bones because of my sinne transferâ—e my sinnes with which thou arâ— so displeased vpon him with whome thou art so well pleased Christ Iesus and there will be rest in my bones And O my God who madest thy selfe a Light in a Bush in the middest of these brambles thornes of a sharpe sicknesse appeare vnto me so that I may see thee and know thee to be my God applying thy selfe to me euen in these sharp and thorny passages Doe this O Lord for his sake who was not the lesse the King oâ— Heauen for thy suffering him to be crowned with thornes in this world 3. Decubitus sequitur tandem The Patient takes his bed 2. MEDITATION WEe attribute buâ— one priuiledge and aduantage to Mans body aboue other mouing creatures that he is not as others grouelingâ— but of an erect of an vpright form naturally built disposed to the contemplation of Heauen Indeed it is a thankfull forme and recompences that soule which giues it with carrying that soule so many foot higher towards heauen Other creatures look to the earth and euen that is no vnfit obiect no vnfit contemplation for Man for thither hee must come but because Man is not to stay there as other creatures are Man in his naturall forme is carried to thâ— contemplation of thaâ— place which is his homâ— Heauen This is Man prerogatiue but whaâ— state hath he in this diâ—â—nitie A feuer caâ— filliâ— him downe a feuer caâ— depose him a feuer caâ— bring that head whicâ— yesterday caried a crouâ— of gold fiue foot toâ—wards a crown of glory as low as his own fooâ— to day When God camâ— to breath into Man
thâ— breath of life he founâ— him flat vpoÌ„ the grouÌ„â— when hee comes to withdraw that breath from him againe hee prepares him to it by laying him flat vpon his bed Scarse any prison so close that affords not the prisoner two or â—hree steps The Anchorites that barqu'd themselues vp in hollowe trees immur'd themselues in hollow walls That peruerse man that barrell'd himselfe in a Tubb all could stand or sit and enioy some change of pasture A sicke bed is a graue anâ— all that the patient saieâ— there is but a varying oâ— his owne Epitaph Eueâ—ry nights bed is a Typâ— of the graue At nighâ— wee tell our seruants aâ— what houre wee wilâ— rise here we cannot telâ— our selues at what day what week what moâ—neth Here the head lieâ— as low as the foot thâ— Head of the people aâ—lowe as they whom those feete trod vpon And that hande thaâ— signed Pardons is toâ— weake to begge his owne if hee might haue it for lifting vp that hand Strange fetters to the feete strange Manacles to the hands vvhen the feete and handes are bound so much the faster by how much the coards are slacker So much the lesse able to doe their Offices by how much more the Sinnewes and Ligaments are the looser In the Graue I may speak thorough the stones in the voice of my friends anâ— in the accents of thosâ— wordes which theiâ— loue may afford my meâ—mory Here I am minâ— owne Ghost and ratheâ— affright my beholders then instruct them theâ— conceiue the worst oâ— me now and yet feaâ—â— worse they giue me foâ— dead now yet wonâ—der how I doe wheâ— they wake aâ— midnight and aske how I doe â—â—â—morrow Miserable and though common to all in human postuâ— where I must practise â—y lying in the graue by â—ying still and not practise my Resurrection by â—ising any more 3. EXPOSTVLATION MY God and my Iesus my Lord and my Christ my Strength and my SaluatioÌ„ I heare thee and I hearken to thee wheÌ„ thou rebukest thy Disciples for rebuking â—hem who brought â—hildren to thee Suffer little children to come tâ— mee saiest thou Is therâ— a verier child then I aâ— now I cannot say witâ— thy seruant Ieremy Lorâ— I am a child and cannâ— speake but O Lord I aâ— a sucking childe anâ— cannot eat a creepinâ— childe and cannot goâ—â— how shall I come tâ— thee Whither shall 〈◊〉 come to thee To thiâ— bed I haue this weake and childish frowardâ—nes too I cannot sit vpâ— and yet am loth to go tâ— bed shall I find thee 〈◊〉 bed Oh haue I alwaies done so The bed is not ordinarily thy Scene thy Climate Lord dost thoâ— not accuse me dost thou not reproach to mee my former sinns when thou layest mee vpon this bed Is not this to hang a man at his owne dore to lay him sicke in his owne bed of wantonnesse When thou chidest vs by thy Prophet for lying in beds of Iuory is not thine anger vented not till thou changest our bedds of Iuory into bebs of Ebony Dauid sweares vnto thee that hee will not goâ— vp into his bed till he haâ— built thee a House To goâ— vp into the bed denoteâ— strength and promiâ—eâ— ease But when thoâ— saiest That thou wilt caâ— Iesubel into a bed thoâ— mak'st thine own comâ—ment vpon that Thoâ— callest the bed Tribulâ—â—tion great Tribulation â— How shal they come tâ— thee whom thou haâ—â— nayled to their bedâ— Thou art in the Congrâ—â—gation I in a solitude when the Centurions seruant lay sicke at home his Master was faine to come to Christ â—he sicke man could not Their friend lay sicke of the Palsey and the four charitable men were faine to bring him to Christ he could not come Peters wiues mother lay sicke of a feuer Christ came to her shee could not come to him My friends may carrie mee home to thee in their prayers in the Congregation Thou must comâ— home to me in the visiâ—tation of thy Spirit anâ— in the seale of thy Sacraâ—ment But when I aâ— cast into this bedd mâ— slacke sinewes are yroâ— fetters and those thiâ— sheets yron dores vpoâ— me And Lord I haue loâ—ued the habitation of thâ— house and the place wheâ— thine honour dwelleth lye here and say Blesse are they that dwell in thâ— house but I cannot say I will come into thy housâ— I may say In thy feaâ— will I worship towards thy â—oly Temple but I cannot â—ay in thy holy Templeâ— And Lord the zeale of thy House eats me vp as fast as my feuer It is not a Recusancie for I would come but it is an ExcoÌ„munication I must not But Lord thou art Lord of Hosts louest Action Why callest thou me from my calling In theâ— graue no man shall praise thee In the doore of the graue this sicke bed no Man shal heare mee praise thee Thou hast not opned my lips that my mouth mighâ— shew thee thy praise buâ— that my mouth mighâ— shew foorth thy praise But thine Apostles fearâ— takes hold of mee thâ—â— when I haue preached to â—â—thers I my selfe should be cast-way and therefoâ—â— am I cast downe that might not be cast awaâ— â— Thou couldst take mâ— by the head as thoâ— didst Abacuc and carrâ—â— mee so By a Chariot 〈◊〉 thou didst Eliah caâ—â—rie me so but thou caâ—â—riest me thine own priuate way the way by which thou carryedst thy Sonne who first lay vpon the earth praid and then had his Exaltation as himselfe calls his Crucifying and first descended into hell and then had his Ascension There is another Station indeed neither are stations but prostrations lower then this bed To morrow I may be laid one Story lower vpon the Floore the face of the earth and next day another Story in the graue the wombe of the Earth As yet God suspends mee betweene Heauen and Earth as a Meteor and I am not in Heauen because an earthly bodie clogges me and I am not in the Earth because a heauenly Soule sustaines meeâ— And it is thine owne Law O God that if a man bee smitten so by anoâ—ther as that hee keepe hiâ— bed though he dye not hee that hurt him must take care of his healing and recompence him Thâ— hand strikes mee into this bed and therefore if I rise againe thou wilt bee my recompence all the dayes of my life in making the memory of this sicknes beneficiall to me and if my body fall yet lower thou wilt take my soule out of this bath present it to thy Father washed againe and againe and again in thine own teares in thine owne sweat in thine owne blood 3. PRAYER O Most mightie anâ— most merciful God who though thou hauâ— taken me off of my feet hast not taken me off oâ— my foundation whicâ— is thy selfe who thougâ— thou haue remoued mâ— froÌ„ that vpright forme in which I could stand and see thy throne thâ—
mold any form and to spend it selfe in any function As therfore thy Son did vpon the Coyne I look vpon the King and I askâ— whose image whose inscription hee hath and he hath thine And I giue vnto thee that which iâ— thine I recommend his happines to thee in alâ— my sacrifices of thanks for that which hee enioyes and in al my praiers for the continuance and inlargement of theÌ„ But let me stop my Gâ—d and consider will noâ— this look like a piece of art cunning to conuey into the world an opinion that I were more particularly in his care then other men And that heerein in a a shew of humilitie and thankefulnesse I magnifie my selfe more then there is cause But let not that iealousie stopp mee O God but let me go forward in celebrating thy mercy exhibited by him This which hee doth now in assisting so my bodily health I know is common to me with many Many manyâ— haue tasted of that expression of his gracioâ—snes Where hee â—an giue health by his owne hands hee dothâ— and to more then any of his predecessors haue done Therefore hath God reserued one diseasâ— for him that hee onely might cure it though perchance not onely by one Title and Interest nor only as one king To those that need it not in that kind and so cannot haue it by his owne hand he sends a donatiue of health in sending his Phisician The holy King S. Lewis in France our Maud is celebrated for that that persoÌ„ally they visited Hospitals assisted in the Cure euen of loathsome Diseases And when that religious Empress Placilla the wife of Theodosius was told that she diminished her â—elfe to much in those personal assistances might doe enough in sending â—eliefe shee said Shee would send in that capacitie as Empresse but shee would go to in that capacitie as a Christian as a fellow member of the body oâ— thy Son with them So thy seruaÌ„t Dauid applies him selfe to his people so he incorporates himselfe in his people by calling them his brethren his bones his flesh and when they fel vnder thy hand euen to the pretermitting of himselfe he presses vpon thee by prayeâ— for them I haue siâ—â—ned but these sheepe what haue they donne let thine hand I pray thee be against me and against my fathers house It is kingly to giue wheÌ„ Araumah gaue that great free present to Dauid that place those instrumeÌ„ts for sacrifice and the sacrifices themselues it is said there by thy Spirit Al these things did Araumah giue as a King to the King To giue is an approaching to the Condition of Kings but to giue health an approching to the King of Kings to thee But this his assisting to my bodily health thou knowest O God and so doe some others of thine Honorable seruants know is buâ— the twy-light of that day wherein thouâ— thorow him hast shind vpon mee before but the Eccho of that voyce whereby thou through him hast spoke to mee before Then when he first of any man conceiu'd a hope that I might be of some vse in thy Church and descended to an intimation to a perswasioÌ„ almost to a solicitatioÌ„ that I would embrace that calling And thou who hadst put that desire into his heart didst also put into mine an obedience to it and I who was sicke before of a vertiginous giddines and irresolution and almost spent all my time in consulting how I should spend it was by this man of God and God of men put into the poole and recouerd when I asked perchaÌ„ce a stone he gaue me bread when I asked perchaÌ„ce a Scorpion he gaue me a fish wheÌ„ I asked a temporall office hee denied not refused not that but let mee see that hee had rather I took this These things thou O God who forgettest nothing hast not forgot though perchance he because they were benefits hath but I am not only a witnesse but an instance that ouâ— Iehosophat hath a care to ordaine Priests as well as Iudges and not only to send Phisicians foâ— temporall but to bee the Phisician for spirituall health 8. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who though thou haue reserued thy tresure of perfit ioy and perfit glory to be giuen by thine own hands then wheÌ„ by seeing thee as thou art in thy selfe and knowing thee as we are known wee shall possesse in an instant and possesse for euer all that can any way coÌ„duce to our happinesses yet here also in this world giuest vs such earnests of that full payment as by the value of the earnest we may giue some estimat of the tresure humbly and thaÌ„kfully I acknowledge that thy blessed spirit instructs mee to make a differeÌ„ce of thy blessings in this world by that difference of the Instruments by which it hath pleased thee to deriue them vnto me As we see thee heere in a glasse so we receiue froÌ„ thee here by reflexion by instruments Euen casual things come from thee and that which we call Fortune here hath another name aboue Nature reaches out her hand and giues vs corne and wine and oyle and milk but thou fillest her hand before and thou openest her hand that she may rain down her showres vpon vs. Industry reaches out her hand to vs and giues vs fruits of our labor for our selues our posteritie but thy hand guides that hand when it sowes and when it waters and the increase is from thee Friends reach out their hands prefer vs but thy hand supports that haÌ„d that supports vs. Of all these thy instruments haue I receiued thy blessing O God but bless thy name most for the greatest that as a member of the publike and as a partaker of priuate fauours too by thy right hand thy powerfull hand set ouer vs I haue had my portion not only in the hearing but in the preaching of thy Gospel Humbly beseeching thee that as thou continuest thy wonted goodnes vpon the whol world by the wonted meanes instruments the same Sun and Moon the same Nature and Industry so to continue the same blessings vpon this State and this Church by the same hand so long as that thy Son when he comes in the clouds may find him or his Son or his sonnes sonnes ready to giue an account able to stand in that iudgmeÌ„t for their faithfull Stewardship and dispensation of thy taleÌ„ts so abuÌ„dantly coÌ„mitted to them be to him O God in all disteÌ„pers of his body in all anxieties of spirit in all holy sadnesses of soule such a Phisician in thy proportion who art the greatest in heauen as hee hath bin in soule body to me in his proportioÌ„ who is the greatst vpon earth 9. Medicamina scribuÌ„t Vpon their Consultation they prescribe 9. MEDITATION THey haue seene me and heard mee arraign'd mee in these fetters and receiu'd the euidence I haue cut vp mine own Anatomy diffected my selfe and they
feare of death that there was not a house where there was not one dead for therupon the Aegyptians said we are all deaâ— men the death of others should catechise vsâ— to death Thy Sonne Christ Iesus is the first begotten of the dead he rises first the eldest brother and he is my Master in this science of death but yet for mee I am a younger brother too to this Man who died now and to euery man whom I see or heare to die before mee and all they are vshers to mee in this schoole of death I take therefore that which thy seruant Dauids wife said to him to bee said to me If thou saue not thy life to night to morrow thou shalt bee slaine If the death of this man worke not vpon mee now I shall die worse than if thou hadst not afforded me this helpe for thou hast sent him in this bell to mee as thoâ— didst send to the Angelâ— of Sardis with commission to strengthen the things that remaine and that are ready to die that in this weaknes of body I mighâ— receiue spiritual strengâ—h by these occasions This is my strength that whether thou say to mee as thine Angell said to Gedeon Peace bee vnto thee feare not thou shalt not die or whether thou say as vnto Aaron Thou shalt die there yet thou wilâ— preserue that which is ready to die my soule from the worst death that of sinne Zimrie died for his sinnes saies thy Spirit which he sinned in doing euill and in his sinne which he did to make Israel sinne For his sinnes his many sinnes and then in his sinne his particular sinne for my sinnes I shall die whensoeuer I die for death is the wages of sinne but I shall die in my sinne in that particular sinne of resisting thy spirit if I apply not thy assistances Doth it not call vs to a particular consideration That thy blessed Sonne varies his forme of Commination and aggrauates it in the variation when hee saies to the Iewes because they refused the light offered you shall die in your sinne And then when they proceeded to farther disputations and vexations and tentations hee addes you shall die in your sinnes he multiplies the former expressing â—o a plurall In this sinne â— and in all your sinnes doth not the resisting of thy particular helps at last draw vpon vs the guiltinesse of all our former sinnes May not the neglecting of this sound ministred to mee in this mans death bring mee to that miserie as that I whom the Lord of life loued so as to die for me shall die and a Creature of mine owne shall be immortall â— that I shall die and the worme of mine owne conscience shall neuer die 18. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God I haue a new occasion of thanks and a new occasion of prayer to thee from the ringing of this bell Thou toldst me in the other voice that I was mortall and approaching to death In this I may heare thee say that I am dead in an irremediable in an irrecouerable state for bodily health If that bee thy language in this voice how infinitely am I bound to thy heauenly Maiestie for speaking so plainly vnto mee for euen that voice that I must die now is not the voice of a Iudge that speaks by way of condemnation but of a Physitian that presents health in that Thou presentest mee death as the cure of my disease not as the exaltation of it if I mistake thy voice herein if I ouer-runne thy pace and preuent thy hand and imagine death more instant vpon mee than thou hast bid him bee yet the voice belongs to me I am dead I was borne dead and from the first laying of these mud-walls in my conception they haue moldred away and the whole course of life is but an actiue death Whether this voice instruct mee that I am a dead man now or remember me that I haue been a dead man all this while I humbly thanke thee for speaking in this voice to my soule and I humâ—ly beseech thee also to â—ccept my prayers in his behalfe by whose occasion this voice this sound is come to mee â—or though hee bee by death transplanted to thee and so in possession of inexpressible happinesse there yet here vpon earth thou hast giuen vs such a portion of heauen as that though men dispute whether thy Saints in heauen doe know what we in earth in particular doe stand in need of yet without all disputation wee vpon earth doe know what thy Saints in heauen lacke yet for the consummation of their happinesse and therefore thou hast affoorded vs the dignitie that wee may pray for them That therefore this soule now newly departed to thy Kingdome may quickly returne to a ioâ—full reunion to that body which it hath left and that wee with it may soone enioy the full consummation of all in body and soule I humbly beg at thy hand O our most mercifull God for thy Sonne Christ Iesus sake That that blessed Sonne of thine may haue the comsummation of his dignitie by entring into his last office the office of a Iudge and may haue societie of humane bodies in heauen as well as hee hath had euer of soulesâ— And that as thou hatest sinne it selfe thy hate to sinne may bee expressed in the abolishing of all instruments of sinne The allurements of this world and the world it selfe and all the temporarie râ—uenges of sinne the stings of sicknesse and of death and all the castles and prisons and monuments of sinne in the graue That time may bee swallowed vp in Eternitie and hope swallowed in possession and ends swallowed in infinitenesse and all men ordained to saluation in body and soule bâ— one intire and euerlasting sacrifice to thee where thou mayest receiue delight from them and they glorie from thee for euermore Amen 19. Oceano tandem emenso aspicienda resurgit Terra vident iustis medici iam cocta mederi se posse indicijs At last the Physitians after a long and stormie voyage see land They haue so good signes of the conâ—oction of the disease as that they may safely proceed to purge 19. MEDITATION ALl this while the Physitians themselues haue beene patients patiently attending when they should see any land in this Sea any earth any cloud any indication of concoction in these waters Any disorder of mine any pretermission of theirs exalts the dâ—sease accelerates the rages of it no diligence accelerates the concoction the maturitie of the disease they must stay till the season of the sicknesse come and till it be ripened of it selfe and then they may put to their hand to gather it before it fall off but they cannot hasten the ripening Why should wee looke for it in a disease which is the disorder the discord the irregularitie the commotion and rebellion of the body It were scarce a disease if it could bee ordered and
are gon to read vpon me O how manifold and perplexed a thing nay how wanton and various a thing is ruine and destruction God presented to Dauid three kinds War Famine and Pestilence Satan left out these and brought in fires froÌ„ heauen and windes from the wildernes If there were no ruine but sicknes wee see the Masters of that Art can scarce nuÌ„ber not name all sicknesses euery thing that disorders a faculty the function of that is a sicknesse The names wil not serue theÌ„ which are giuen froÌ„ the place affected the Plurisâ—â— is so nor from the effect which it works the falling sicknes is so they caÌ„not haue names ynow from what it does nor where it is but they must extort names froÌ„ what it is like what it resembles bâ—t in some one thing or els they would lack names for the Wolf and the Canker and the Polypus are so and that question whether there be more names or things is as perplexd in sicknesses as in any thing else except it be easily resolud vpon that side that there are more sicknesses theÌ„ names If ruine were reduc'd to that one way that Man could perish noway but by sicknes yet his danger were infinit and if sicknes were reduc'd to that one way that there were no sicknes but a feuer yet the way were infinite still for it would ouerlode oppress any naturall disorder and discompose any artificiall Memâ—ry to deliuer the names of seuerall Feuers how intricate a worke then haue they who arâ— gone to consult which of these sicknesses mine is and then which of these feuers and then what it would do and theÌ„ how it may be countermind But euen in ill it is a degree of good wheÌ„ the euil wil admit consultation In many diseases that which is but an accident but a symptom of the main disease is so violeÌ„t that the phisician must attend the cure of that though hee pretermiâ— so far as to intermiâ— the cure of the disease it self Is it not so in States too somtimes the insoleÌ„cy of those that are great put the people into commotions the great disease the greatest danger to the Head is the insolency of the great ones yet they execute Martial law they come to present executions vpoÌ„ the people whose commotion was indeed but a simptom but an accident of the maine disease but this symptom grown so violent wold allow no time for a consultatioÌ„ Is it not so in the accidents of the diseases of our mind too Is it not euidently so in our affections in our passions If a cholerick man be ready to strike must I goe about to purge his choler or to breake the blow But where there is room for consultatioÌ„ things are not desperate They consult so there is nothing rashly incoÌ„sideratly done and then they prescribe theâ— write so there is nothing couertly disguisedly vnavowedly done In bodily diseases it is not alwaies so sometimes assoon as the Phisicians foote is in the chamber his knife is in the patients arme the disease would not allow a minutes forbearing of blood nor prescribing of other remedies In States matter of gouernmeÌ„t it is so too they are somtimes surprizd with such accideÌ„ts as that the Magistrat asks not what may be done by law but does that which must necessarily be don in that case But it is a degree of good in euill a degree that caâ—ies hope coÌ„fort in it when we may haue râ—â—course to that which is written and that the proceedings may bee apert and ingenuous and candid and auowable for that giues satisfaction and acquiescence They who haue receiued my Anatomy of my selfe consult and end their consultatioÌ„ in prescribing and in prescribing Phisick proper and conuenient remedy for if they shold come in again and chide mee for some disorder that had occasion'd and inducd or that had hastned and exalted this sicknes or if they should begin to write now rules for my dyet and exercise when I were well this were to antidate or to postdate their Consultation not to giue phisick It were rather a vexation then a reliefe to tell a condemnd prisoner you might haue liu'd if you had done this if you can get your pardon you shal do wel to take this or this course hereafter I am glad they know I haue hid nothing from them glad they consult they hide nothing froÌ„ one another glad they write they hide nothing froÌ„ the world glad that they write and prescribe Phisick that there are remedies for the present case 9. EXPOSTVLATION My God my God allow me a iust indignation a holy detestation of the insoleÌ„cy of that Man who because he was of that high raÌ„ke of whoÌ„ thou hast said They are gods thought himselfe more then equall to thee That king of Aragon Alfonsus so perfit in the motions of the heauenly bodies as that hee aduentured to say That if he had bin of councell with thee in the making of the heauens the the heauens should haue bin disposed in a better order then they are The king Amasiah would not indure thy prophet to reprehend him but asked him in anger Art thou made of the kings councellâ— When thy Prophet Esaias askes that questioÌ„ who hath directed the spirit of the Lord or being his councellor hath tought him It is after hee had setled and determined that office vpon thy sonne and him onely wheÌ„ he ioyns with those great Titles The mighty God and the prince of peace this also the Councellor and after he had setled vpon him the spirit of might and of councell So that theÌ„ thou O God thogh thou haue no councell from Man yet doest nothing vpon man without councell In the making of Man there was a consultation let vs make man In the preseruing of Man O thou great preseruer 〈◊〉 men thou proceededst by councell for all thy externall workes are the workes of the whole Trinity and their hand is to euery action How much more must I apprehend that al you blesâ—sed glorious persons of the Trinitie are in Consultation now what you wil do with this in firm body with this leprous Soule that attends guiltily but yet comfortably your determination vpoÌ„ it I offer not to counsell them who meet in consultatioÌ„ for my body now but I open my inâ—â—rmities I anatomise my body to them So I do my soule to thee O my God in an huÌ„ble confession That there is no veine in mee that is not full of the bloud of thy Son whoÌ„ I haue crucified Crucified againe by multiplying many and often repeating the same sinnes that there is no Artery in me that hath not the spirit of error the spirit of lust the spirit of giddines in itâ— no bone in me that is not hardned with the custoâ—e of sin and nourished and soupled with the marrow of sinn no sinews no ligameÌ„ts that do not tie chain sin and
bodies whole Churches what becomes of the soules of the righteous at the departing thereof from the body I shall bee told by some That they attend an expiation a purification in a place of torment By some that they attend the fruition of the sight of God in a place of rest but yet but of expectation By some that they passe to an immediate possession of the presence of God S. Augustine studied the Nature of the soule as much as any thing but the saluation of the soule and he sent an expresse Messenger to Saint Hierome to consult of some things concerning the soule But he satisfies himselfe with this Let the departure of my soule to saluation be euident to my faith and I care the lesse how darke the entrance of my soule into my body bee to my reason It is the going out more than the comming in that concernes vs. This soule this Bell tells me is gone out Whither Who shall tell mee that I know not who it is much lesse what he was The condition of the Man and the course of his life which should tell mee whither hee is gone I know not I was not there in his sicknesse nor at his death I saw not his way nor his end nor can aâ—ke themâ— who did thereby to conclude or argue whither he is gone But yet I haue one neerer mee than all these mine owne Charity I aske that that tels me He is gone to euerlasting rest and ioy and glory I owe him a good opinion it is but thankfull charity in mee because I receiued benefit and instruction from him when his Bell told and I being made the fitter to pray by that disposition wherein I was assisted by his occasion did pray for him and I pray not without faith so I doe charitably so I do faithfully beleeue that that soule is gone to euerlasting rest and ioy and glory But for the body How poore a wretched thing is that wee cannot expresse it so fast as it growes worse and worse That body which scarce three minutes since was such a house as that that soule which made but one step from thence to Heauen was scarse thorowly content to leaue that for Heauen that body hath lost the name of a dwelling house because none dwels in it and is making haste to lose the name of a body and dissolue to putrefaction Who would not bee affected to see a cleere sweet Riuer in the Morning grow a kennell of muddy land water by noone and condemned to the saltnesse of the Sea by night And how lame a Picture how faint a representation is that of the precipitatioÌ„ of mans body to dissolution Now all the parts built vp and knit by a louely soule now but a statue of clay and now these limbs melted off as if that clay were but snow â— and now the whole house is but a handfull of sand so much dust and but a pecke of Rubbidge so much bone If he who as this Bell tells mee is gone now were some excellent Artiâ—icer who comes to him for a clocke or for a garment now or for counsaile if hee were a Lawyer If a Magistrate for iustice Man before hee hath his immortall soule hath a soule of sense and a soule of vegitation before that This immortall soule did not forbid other soules to be in vs before but when this soule departs it carries all with it no more vegetation no more sense such a Mother in law is the Earth â— in respect of our naturall Mother in her wombe we grew and when she was deliuered of vs wee were planted in some place in some calling in the world In the wombe of the Earth wee diminish and when shee is deliuered of vs our graue opened for another wee are not transplanted but transported our dust blowne away with prophane dust with euery wind 18. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God if Expostulation bee too bold a word doe thou mollifie it with another leâ— it be wonder in my selfe let it bee but probleme to others but let me aske why wouldest thou not suffer those that serue thee in holy seruices to doe any office about the dead nor assist at their funerall Thou hadst no Counsellor thou needest none thou hast no Controller thou admittest none Why doe I aske in Ceremoniall things as that was any conuenient reason is enough who can bee sure to propose that reason that moued thee in the institution thereof I satisfie my selfe with this that in those times the Gentiles were ouerfull of an ouer-reuerent respect to the memory of the dead a great part of the Idolatry of the Nations flowed from that an ouer-amorous deuotion an ouer-zealous celebrating and ouer-studious preseruing of the memories and the Pictures of some dead persons And by the vaine glory of men they entred into the world and their statues and pictures contracted an opinion of diuinity by age that which was at first but a picture of a friend grew a God in time as the wise man notes They called them Gods which were the worke of an ancient hand And some haue assigned a certaine time when a picture should come out of Minority and bee at age to bee a God in 60. yeeres after it is made Those Images of Men that had life and some Idols of other things which neuer had any being are by one common name called promiscuously dead and for that the wise man reprehends the Idolatrer for health he praies to that which is weake and for life he praies to that which is dead Should we doe so saies thy Prophet should we goe from the liuing to the dead So much ill then being occasioned by so much religious coÌ„plement exhibited to the dead thou ô God I think wouldest therefore inhibit thy principall holy seruants from contributing any thing at all to this dangerous intimation of Idolatry and that the people might say surely those dead men are not so much to bee magnified as men mistake since God will not suffer his holy officers so much as to touch them not to see them But those dangers being remoued thou O my God dost certainly allow that we should doe offices of piety to the dead and that we should draw instructions to piety from the dead Is not this O my God a holy kinde of raising vp â—eed to my dead brother if I by the meditation of his death produce a better life in my selfe It is the blessing vpon Reuben Let Reuben liue not die and let not his men be few let him propagate many And it is a Malediction That that dieth let it die let it doe no good in dying for Trees without fruit thou by thy Apostle callst twice dead It is a second death if none liue the better by me after my death by the manner of my death Therefore may I iustly thinke that thou madest that a way to conuay to the Aegyptians a feare of thee and a