all Eternity maynifying admiring and adoring God that ever he gave thee leave and grace to serve him then shalt thou see and so thy experience shall make thee confess with joy and wonder that the light afflictions and labours of love that thou endurest in this life are not worthy to be compared to the joyes that shall be revealed in thee VVhen at any time thou beginnest to be weary look to the price of thine high calling and when thou comest to heaven thou shalt admire when thou seest how abundantly thou art over recompensed and thou wilt have just cause to say Lord what is this that thou hast done for me alas what were the things that I either did or suffered in thy service what were my filthy rags that thou shouldest give me such a Robe and Crown of Glory O my Soul what if we do weep now the time is at hand when God will wipe all tears from our eyes O my son these things cannot be believed and slighted and understood and neglected If thou dost not believe them what is the reason Are they too glorious things for God to bestow upon such wretched sinners why dost thou set bounds to the goodness of God and say Hitherto thou shalt go and no further nay doubtless since God hath said that he will do that which shall glorifie his goodness to his people the incredibility of it makes it more credible but if thou art convinced of the truth why art thou not affected with the Excellencies of these Joyes dost thou not relish them well For the time to come I will meditate more of these things I will by giving to the poor lay up my Treasures in Heaven I will part with such and such vain delights for it I will spend more time and communion with God in praising admiring and adoring of him that if it be possible by frequent performing of these Duties I may at last taste and relish the incomprehensible sweetness of them that I may be enamoured more of heaven and because all my endeavours are in vain if the Lord reveals not these things unto me therefore I will beg of God that he will discover the riches oâ— his goodness to me I have not been careful enough nor sensible enough of Sins of Omission when I have had no just thing to take up â—y thoughts yet I have not thought of thee henceforth when my heart is affected with thy Excellencies thy love thy mercies I will praise thee when it is not I will pray to thee that it may and for my Master-sin mine iniquity I will be most frequent in those duties that are most contrary to it I will especially in my reading of Scripture take notice of and write down those places and those examples that are most proper for the cure I will speak against my iniquity that if it may be I may thereby the more engage my self to leave it Meditat. VII Of the Excellencies of Christ. 1. BE convinced of and affected with the prefence of God 2. Desire of him who only can to manifest the Excellency of Christ unto thee Considerations 1. Consider that if the holiest man that ever lived lived near thee what high expectations wouldest thou have of his carriage and conference when thou sawest his zeal and patience c. But no man lived ever without Sinne Therefore suppose an Angel should take upon him humane Nature and live amongst us with what enflamed expressions and affections would he speak of God of Heaven and every thing that is Spiritual But alas his carriage his holiness his wisdom where as nothing in comparison of Christs For there was not any word or action that eyer Christ spoke or did that if all the Angels of heaven had studied and set down how it ought to have been done or they themselves should have been to have done it they could not have equalled it nay even God the Father had he taken our Nature he would not have spoke or done any word or thinÌ„g which should have had in respect of it self or any circumstance more holiness or wisdom then Christs words and actions had so that certainly in this respect he that saw Christ saw the Father as he himself saith 2. Consider the wonderful wisdom of Christ Certainly he was greater then Solomon For though he was the humblest man that ever lived yet he himself said so nor did it any more argue pride in Christ to say that he was wiser then Solomon then it would have argued in Solomon that he knew more then a New-born Babe VVhen his most malicious and cunning Adversaries came to eâ—snare him in his words so that they thought it were impossible for him to say I or No to their Questions without extraordinary prejudice to himself yet he Answered with such admirable wisdom and innocence that they went away ashamed of their Folly Nay when Satan himself came and set upon him with his subtilest Temptations that he could possibly find out yet our Saviour without Deliberation and Study immediately answered him so fully that he could not so much as reply but was fain to fly to another Temptation and no marvel for he was the Wisdom of the Father 3. Consider the wondeful and exceeding holiness of Christ when he was in the height of all his Agonies and Sufferings he abated not any thing of his Love and confidence in God For his Sufferings did not make him forget or diminish any thing no not in the least circumstance of his Graces or of any thing that the Law required at his hands To be so freely willing 〈…〉 that Agony continue which was unspeakable and as the Torments of hâ—ll â—f his Father pleased was more then if those in hell should freely submit to endure the Torments they suffer The holiness of those in heaven is not comparably so much greater then the weakest Saint on earth As the holiness of Christ was greater whilest he lived on earth then that of those in heaven Nay all the Saints on Earth are fil'd from his fulness For he is the Fountain that conveyes to his Saints as they are able to receive the infinite Ocean of the holiness of the God-head No marvel that the Angels when they saw his glory cryed out Holy Holy Lord God of Sabbaths 4. Consider that not withstanding all these infinite Excellencies in Christ he thought it no robbery to be equal to the Father yet how exceedingly did he humble himself and how gracious was he The poorest man or woman in the Word nay the greatest Sinner that truly repented with what love did he receive them He was the Son of Righteousness from whom the Angels receive their Glory and yet he disdains not to shine upon such Dunghills as we are It is strange O my soul to consider how willing Christ was to please every one only provided it was in things that were not for their hurt that desired them Many times nay most times when others were with him when he
that enflames all thine Angels with love I have no way but to come before thy presence in hope that at the last shall be thawed if not inflamed thou wilt not put out the smoaking snuff of a Candle I am such an one enlightned and enflamed though now I send forth nothing but an unsavoury stench What shall I stand imperfect as I am thus speaking what I may and what I have to lay to my God Lord. Thou hast commanded in thy Word that if an Adulterer defile a Woman and she cry not out then he shall be put to death Lord Infidelity Hypocrisie and Vain-glory are come to undo me to defile my Soul and they have almost perswaded my Soul not to cry out To be ravished is a great affliction but to embrace the Adulterer is an abomination If I cry to Men for succour if I go to Ordinances Alas the Adulterer is a strong Man he hath locked the Doors of my Soul and none can break them open but thou only Lord do not thou stand knocking at the Door of my heart for the strong man will not and I am kept so fast by my corruptions I cannot come to let thee in Lord break open the Doors and come in to help me before I am utterly undone as it was with the Levites Concubine so will it be with my poor Soul Corruption after Corruption and Sinne after Sinne will so abuse her that she will be at last dead Alas me thinks I look upon my poor Soul as one looks upon a Ship tossed among Rocks in the Seas one sees it and pities it but knows not how to help it there comes a Wave and carries it with violence amongst the mid'st of the Rocks and makes it reel and stagger like a drunken Man and then all in the Ship are fain to pump and toil to save their lives at last it was dasht in pieces and all fain to get upon broken pieces of the Ship to swim to the shore if it may be My Soul is even labouring for life Lord what wilt thou do wilt thou be as a Man astonish't and as a Mighty Man that cannot help then I am undone then I may say if thou wilt not then farewel all my Duties farewel all my Graces and all my Comforts which I have had in the dear embraces of my God Ah must I not pray but with my Tongue Mast I have no more Comforts but what poor Creatures can give me Lord if I must perish let me perish in thy way let me convert many unto thee Though I know my Damnation shall be greater if I perish for living so contrary to mine owne Doctrine Lord I am a poor Miserable Man and a more Miserable Christian thou art I cannot possibly imagine what but I hope Lord I shall know these dayes of ignorance and sin will not alwayes last when my change comes I shall nomore sin and repent and repent and sin as I do now Oh my corruptions I hope one day I shall leave you all in the Grave behind me The day is coming when while I am praising God you shall not come and lie as a Talent of Lead upon my Soul and hinder my flight Come Lord Jesus come quickly Come while my Soul is filled with joy to think of thy coming O my God thou art enough for me for my Soul can hold no more Lord I am afraid of the joyes sometimes I have to think of thee Tears for my sins are fitter for me then tears of joy yet I dare not refuse them nay I cannot if I would they are so sweet so sweet Heaven is but a greater Measure of them Lord thou art enough enough for them that love thee Meditat. XXII To see a dead Man arrayed with all the Richest Clothes still there is more horrour to behold him then delight So my poor Soul looks gashly in all the Duties I perform I have a cold and dead soul for all them and more terrour there is in the deadness then there is comfort in the Multitude of them this I know by experience yet Christ is not sweet unto me My dear Saviour to whom I was so dear Lord Jesus give me a heart that may feel thy sweetness I am convinced that thou art so but my poor heart hath not enough tasted the sweetness of this Truth That all things are Dross and Dung in comparison of Christ Lord here is Mine Estate Mine Health My Life My Liberty and all that I have and had I more I would freely give all give but such a heart as I desire and the same will I consecrate unto thee in Spiritual affections all my dayes now I think thus with my self When I was most desirous of and addicted to Humane Learning it was wonderful delightful to me to be instructed in some new truth or to have some difficult question clearly resolved To read the Mathematicks was wonderful delightful because they prove such strange things then I have recourse to the Word of God and by that I am assured that all the Treasures of Wisdom and knowledge are hid in Christ and in his Gospel then further I have recourse to the experience of the people of God in the Word of God and in particular to Paul who being a Learned Man yet accounted all things as Dross and Dung in comparison of Christ I have also recourse to the experience of several godly persons I know of the abundant sweetness and excellency of the knowledge of Christ therefore Lord though I have not at this present the power and ravishing feelings of Christs Excellency yet assuring my self all these wayes whereby I fully do assent to that truth That it is life eternal to know thee and Jesus Christ I do beseech thee O Lord to give me a fuller knowledge of thee in Christ I beseech thee I beseech thee Let not my undervaluing of this knowledge cause thee to deny it I shall more value it if I had more of it Lord I know if thou shouldest look in me and my life to see what thou canst find to hinder the granting of this request thou maist find enough nay I that know my self not so well as thou dost know enough and enough nay I know nothing to move thee in my self except something I have had from thee those things I have so abused that I know they may be swift witnesses against me But Lord if thou shouldest give me this knowledge of them I might do great things for thee Lord hear me Alas Lord my desires to know Christ do even die while I am praying to know him Alas Lord such an heart as I have is fit for none but thee for none in the world can tell what to do with it but thou only It is past the skill of all in Heaven and Earth but thee it is not in the power of Ordinances and Duties if thou shouldst not set in I would pity the Soul of my greatest Enemy if I should see it in
God commandeth and whatsoever God commandeth is his will Further we may observe that it is not enough to do holy duties but we must love holy duties for the blessed man doth not only keep to the utmost of his power the Law but delights in the Law the Commandments are not grievous but delightful to him A wicked man though he may pray yet he loveth it not a Saint would not for all the world that God should say to him you shall think so oft of me in a day it would be a great trouble to a Saint that God should forbid as it is to a wicked man that God commandeth him to think often But passing by these I shall choose this observation as the foundation of the following discourse viz. that to meditate upon the word of God is the essential character and indispensible duty and constant practice of every one that is a true blessed man and that this meditation on Scripture may be the easier understood and practised I shall proceed as followeth CHAP. III. Of the nature kinds and differences of solemn divine meditation SOmething seemeth necessary to be premised concerning the nature of Meditation what it is and how it differeth from other acts of the understanding that seem like it and how one kind of meditation differeth from another else this treatise will be defective without it First For the nature or definition of Divine Meditation we may say that it is a serious solemn thinking and considering of the things of God to the end we might understand how much they concern us and that our hearts thereby may be raised to some holy affections and resolutions Secondly Solemn Divine Meditation differeth from occasional meditation 1. In that occasional meditations are shorter like ejaculatory prayers which though they are as parenthesis in our worldly employments yet they signifie more then all the rest of the business we are employed in but meditation is generally of longer duration then ordinary solemn prayers 2. Such occasional meditations are things that we have in transitu or by the by and this that I speak of is a solem set duty Thirdly The subject from which occasional meditations arise are very frequently things artificial civil or natural indeed any thing that we see or hear but the subject of solemn meditation are only things spiritual Thirdly Solemn Divine Meditation differeth from study 1. In respect of the subject wicked men Study and Godly men meditate and it may be the former study more then the godly Nay it is the very distinguishing Sign between Saints and others that they meditate in the Law of God day and night Psal. 1. 2. And I believe it is a thing far more rare for a meditating Christian to be an hypocrite then for a Christan that spendeth much in prayer especicially if it be publick 2. In respect of the Subject of study so solemn meditation differeth from it for 1. Study is of all manner of things whether natural civil or artificial or mathematical c. But meditation is only of matters that concern our eternal welfare 2. The matters that are most knotty and difficult and generally such as afford little spiritual nourishment as Criticisms Crenologies and controversies but the matter of meditation is of things plain and of great spiritual advantage 3. Thirdly The end of Study is knowledge but the end of meditation is holiness If one seeth a learned man we may conclude that he hath been a great student and if we see a godly man we may conclude that that man hath meditated much Fourthly Solemn meditation differeth from contemplation in these several particulars as 1. Contemplation is more like the beatificial vision which the Angels have of God in Heaven Mediation is like the kindling of fire and contemplation more like a fire when fully kindled the one is like the Spouse seeking of Christ and the other is like the Spouse enjoying of Christ 2. Contemplation is one effect and end of meditation 3. Meditation is like the Bees flying to several flowers or like one smelling to Flowers particularly and contemplation is like the smelling of them alltogether in a nosegay or like the water that is distilled from them all The Spouse in her description of Christ is like to meditation her concluding that he is altogether lovely is like to contemplation Now there are four kinds of solemn meditation according to the four several subjects of it 1. Some solemn Meditations are upon Sermons that we hear which is a very useful and necessary practise for Christians and it is better to hear one Sermon only and meditate on that then to hear two Sermons and meditate on neither neither is it necessary nor possible to set down a method for meditating on Sermons since th method of Sermons is so various I shall only say thus much in particular that the end of such meditation is neither only nor chiefly that we may the better fix the heads and substance of the Sermon in our heads not that we may the better understand and be fuller instructed of the truth of the point we heard preached upon but especially to work those truths advices motives upon our affections that are proposed to us in the Sermon 2. The second kind of solemn meditation is when upon some providential occasion or upon some spiritual distemper or temptation or almost any thing of that nature we retire our selves and powre out our soules in prayers and soliloquies which may not but in a very large sense be called prayers being mixt of such various and differing parts sometimes speaking to God and telling him how we stand affected to him and his ordinances sometimes speaking to our own soul chiding encouraging or instructing of it sometimes speaking to our selves what we resolve to do what we intend to say unto God all which you may find in the 42. Psalm and many more of that nature both in that and many other Psalms which may not properly be called prayers but solemn occasional meditations and the occasions of those meditations are often set down in the begining of the Psalm and they differ from those occasional meditations of which I spoke in the begining of this Chaper only in their duration and solemnity just as solemn prayers differ from jaculatory prayers and to set down any method for these is not convenient because they observe no method and differ very little in any thing else from that kind of meditation for which directions are set down in this Treatise 3. The next kind of meditation is upon some practical truths of Religion many directions for which and instances of the same are set down in this Treatise 4. The fourth and last kind of solemn meditation is that which is upon Scripture which shall be the subject of the fourteenth fifteenth and sixteenth Chapters of this Treatise CHAP. IV. That solemn Meditation is a duty THat this is a duty is evident 1. From the practice of Gods People Gen.
of Gods knowledge it self but thus that God is much more offended with us if our carriage and frame of heart be more irreverent and unholy in the time of prayer and Meditation then at such times as we are in the works of our particular calling 3. We may consider with our selves that Christ doth actually behold us especially in these duties of holiness for it is not the distance of place that doth hinder Christs knowledge and exact observing of us Little did Nathanael then think that Christ saw him under the Fig-tree Nathonael did not see Christ nor was he corporally present then yet Christ beheld Nathanael when he prayed so Christ beheld Stephen before the heavens were opened and the opening of the heavens was not that that thereby Christ might be enabled the better to behold Stephen but that Stephen might thereby be the better enabled to see that Christ looked on him without all controversie God knows and observes with what reverence faith love c. we pray for else our prayers would be in vain and our faith also vain for how could he give us according to our faith if he knew not how much our faith were If the inward frame of our hearts were not observed by him then an hypocrite that hath better expressions should get more by his prayers then a true Nathanael that hath a better heart 4. Suppose that thou hadst lived in Christs time or suppose that Christ were now in England consider with what joy reverence and confidence thou wouldest go to him for the pardon of thy sins or for any other mercy thou stoodest in need of Thou maist go so to him now his distance from thee in respect of corporal presence doth not make him less able to know thy wants or hear thy prayers nor his being now glorified makes him less willing to grant them then if it were bodily present in the room with thee in the form of a servant as he was once at Jerusalem the glory of Christ doth not hinder his love and goodness for Christ is the express Image of his Father and Gods Attributes do not not hinder one another The Majesty of God doth not set bounds unto his goodness and make that finite nor doth his goodness make his Majesty less glorious his goodness makes his Majesty more amiable and his Majesty makes his goodness more wonderful So neither doth the exaltation of Christ cause him to abate any thing of his goodness unto his people but if any way his Love be altered it is by being made more then it was and when Christ was upon earth you must have come to him by Faith or you could obtain no mercy from him and by faith though he be in heaven you may obtain any mercy now You may consider any one or two or more of these considerations until your heart be so convinced of and affected with the presence of God that you may thereby be the better fitted for the carrying on the duty of Meditation more effectually CHAP. VIII Concerning the Preparatory Prayer that is to be used before Meditation THE next Preparatory consideration is Prayer and it is to be performed in these words or to like purpose Lord my design in this Duty of Meditation is not to be an hour sequestred from Worldly Employments for that were to be idle an Hour and to encrease my Sinnes not my Graces but my Business at this time is to be so convinced and affected with those spiritual Truths revealed in thy Word that I may fully resolve by thy strenghth and power to reform my Life because I can neither understand the things that belong to my peace nor understanding them be convinced of the certainty and truth of them Nay Lord though my understanding be enlightned yet without thee mine affections cannot be enflamed I can neither know resolve nor perform what is good without thee for from thee comes both the will and the deed of thy good pleasure I beseech thee Lord that thou wouldest give me thy grace to make conscience of performing this duty with my whole strength and not carelesly and perfunctorily And Lord do thou enlighten me with and convince me of thy Truths and so affect my heart with the love of holiness and hatred of sin c. that I may thereby be enabled fully firmly notwithstanding all the opposition that the flesh world or devil can make to run the wayes of thy Commandements with joy and with speed and when thou hast wrought in me the will so to do give me also the deed and that I may not trust to the strength of my resolutions but to the continual gracious assistance of thy Spirit for the performance of those things that through thee I shall resolve to do Holy and blessed God Christ hath sent me wishing me to come to thee in his Name for any mercies I stand in need of grant these things which I have begged for the Lord Jesus sake Amen This or a prayer to the like purpose thou art to put up unto God but it is to be done with thy whole heart for thou must know that it is by the strength which thou shalt get from God by prayer whereby thou shalt be enabled to perform this or any other duty profitably for it is he that teacheth us to profit he that begins a holy duty without God will end it without God also It is a dangerous thing to think that we can by our natural parts Learning or by the strength of Grace already received without Gods further assistance perform any thing that can please God or edifie our own Souls For though our Mountain be made strong yet if he shall hide his face there will be trouble We may with much more Sense say Now the Sunne shines so bright and the Air is so clear that now we can do well enough for a while though the Sunne be Eclipsed then to say though our Hearts be never so much inflamed with the love of God Now we are so filled and inflamed by his Love we shall do well enough by our own strength for at the present we need not Gods further assistance Give us but Fewel Matter to Meditate of and we shall be able to continue and encrease our flames Do not count it a Burthen but a Mercy and Priviledge that God hath necessitated and commanded thee alwayes to draw strength from him CHAP. IX Several Rules for managing the Duty of Consideration 1. THey must be plain Considerations not intricate and abstruse For the main end of meditation being the affecting of our heart and resorming of our lives and not informing of our understandings our considerations should be so plain that they may be without difficulty understood 2. It must be certain and evident not controversial and doubtful For the end of Meditation is not properly to encrease our knowledge but to improve our knowledge 3. Much less should our considerations be Curious and Nice Speculations or if we choose any
which do speak of the sinfulness of sin or of the Majesty of God and his terrible Wrath executing judgements upon sinners all which serve rather to terrifie a poor drooping Soul then to comfort it but let him rather Meditate upon those Scriptures which do speak of the merciful nature of God of the full satifaction of Christ and of his great love to poor sinners as to Paul Manasses Mary Magdalen and some such other great sinners whom God hath pardoned 5. Let your meditations be suitable to the Ordinances that you are to be made partakers of as if you are to receive the Sacrament Then meditate upon your preparatory concomitant and subsequent duties Meditate upon the love of God the Father upon the love of God the Son Jesus Christ consider the excellency of his person the greatness of his sufferings and how valid they be to the satisfaction of Gods Justice and so likewise to consider of the excellency nature and use of the Sacrament So if thou hast a Child to be baptized consider the Duties and promises of belonging to that Ordinance the Duties thereof belonging to thee for the present but to the Child for the future 6. The Scripture is not to be meditated on as it is to be read There is no part of the Scripture but what is to be read by us but there is a great deal of Scripture which cannot be a fit Suject for us to meditate upon but such as I shall mention though there be many parts of Scripture besides which may be fit proper Subjects for us to meditate upon but these most especially as the Psalms of David many Chapters of the Proverbs of Solomon some choice places of the Canticles most of the Holy Gospels and most of the Epistles Something of the Revelation and then all promises in general and that for two Reasons The one is because the Promises themselves put us upon the Duty and then the promises bring Comfort Far be it from us to despise the Consolations of our heavenly Lord Meditate also upon the holy and blessed Commands of God and the Examples of Saints and let this be your Meditation to say thus within your selves Why should Abraham love God or David love God more then I Why should the Angels love God more then I God hath forgiven me thousands of Iniquities and transgressions but never forgave the Angels one When thou readest holy Examples of the Old Testament you may see that not only such and such things are feasible but that with far less help it was done then now we in these Gospel times have to do it with 7. Let Christ be very much the Subject of your Meditation when I consider the whole business of the worship of God from the beginning of the World to Christ and how God doth acquiesse in Christ and that the highest Angels desire to know him I fully conclude that Christ is wonderfully worththy to take up our thoughts our chiefest love and our greatest joy so that the question will not be whether Christ be worthy of our love but rather whether our love be worthy of Christ and as the other so this is unquestionable and of doubt that it is not Instances OF Solemn Divine MEDITATION Meditation I. ALas my God I am in a sad condition mine afflictions grow daily upon me and that which is mine unsupportable misery my corruptions grow faster upon me then my affliction What before made me weep will not now make me sigh The heavy burthen of a great abomination doth not lie upon me so much as before I was oppressed with a vain thought in my prayers Alas Lord alas I am undone alas my Corruptions have almost made me love them and make me weary of Duties and careless of Graces My joyes are gone and my sorrows are gone that were suitable to thy Word and now my joys are but the laughter of Fools and my sorrows are Carnal Sensual and more of Hell in them then of Heaven and as now I can scarce tel my sorrows so have I scarce any sorrow to tell I have sate down and wept to consider the great decayes of holiness in me but now I can see my God going from me and when as now he is even out of sight mine eyes are as dry as my heart is hard Alas Lord if thou wilt not return thou wilt lose a poor Soul that hath loved thee and is somewhat troubled Now poorsad Soul that it is so wicked as it is Meditat. II. Lord thou seest the strange distempered temper of mine heart and Spirit ah blessed God I should take more comfort if I should see my heart-blood running forth before mine eye then to see mine eyes so dry and my heart so hard I have worn out almost all Motives to holiness they now take no impression in me which before were too strong for me to bear they ravisht me which now do not move me I scarce ever go to Prayer but I have enough and too many Spiritual complaints to employ it to express If every day I had not just cause to bewail a continued decay of Grace I might have some respite of my griefs But what shall I now do VVhen every day shall bear witness against me and every night my sin shall go to bed with me and lie in my bosome and rise in the morning more strong then at night Ah when my former holy life shall be more terrible then others wicked lives when my former prayers shall be like the Gall of Asps unto me VVhen those Duties which should be my comfort are my terrour Alas what can my poor Soul do when my present sins and my past duties which of them are the heaviest burthen unto me I do not know what shall I do When I consider these things then the thoughts of the affliction that lies upon me makes me weep a tear or two and my vain heart my deceitful heart would perswade me that I weep for my sins Those in desertion are in a blessed condition to me they are sad and I am miserable I am guilty of that which their Consciences do but accuse them off Alas have I my communion with God my sweet Communion and the power I had to prevail with him for any mercy almost that I prayed for now I can pray and pray and pray and go away without a blessing I can almost be content to be wicked Thou knowest mine heart or else my tears would deceive thee as well as me If they are worldly thoughts that have estranged me from thee thou knowest how to cure me if mine utter impoverishings will cure me let me be as poor Job if thou wast not such a Physician as thou art I was past cure Meditat. III. Lord I am come now to power out my soul before thee and my tears in thy bosome to tell thee the sad thoughts and sorrows of my heart Ah my God in this bitterness of my Soul and with tears in mine eyes and pride
that I must say if God will forsake me for ever Meditat. VI. Since our dear Lord Jesus Christ hath loved me and given himself for me Oh that my heart was ravisht with his love Oh that he was the beloved of my soul and that I were sick of his love who dyed for the love of me Oh that I could not be stayed but with his flaggons This my Jesus the chiefest of ten thousand hath told me that he that saw thee saw the Father whereby I understand that thou art just as he was as pittiful as gracious as willing to forgive as sweet and as easie to be entreated as my good Saviour and in all the things and passages that thy word hath made known to us of him I read not of one of all that came to him not one poor soul that ever begged any grace or any pardon nor never did any come to be healed of any bodily disease in vain Lord thou art as he was Lord Jesus thou art as thou wast thy being in Heaven makes thee not less like thy Father or thy self Blessed God I do beseech thee to give me thy poor hard-hearted servant a soft heart Lord Jesus I beseech thee thou seest mine heart my poor heart desire as imperfectly as coldly to make intercession for me me for whom thou hast paid a dear price as one that hath been so long from his Friend hath he can hardly call to remembrance what countenance he hath So I poor I that cannot chuse but pity the sad condition of mine own heart which though it doth not uncessantly and importunately desire grace as it should yet methinks it is a sad thing to see it in such a careless temper I am such a stranger to thee that I have much ado to make one thought of thy sweet love and excellencies that may affect my heart and bring the sweet apprehensions of thee to remembrance Thy tender mercies and former relishes of thy goodness are to me like the shadow of death they are as Christ walking upon the waters they terrifie me Lord let me weep thee to me again Oh my God I am undone undone undone a poor undone creature Those in desertion are in a thousand times better condition then I am they want the comforts but then indeed they have the graces of the Spirit but is not my poor soul that wants both in a sad condition that can sit down and fall asleep when I should seek my Saviour I have a soul of such a temper as makes me wonder at my self as in the Spring and sometimes there will come a cloud that will seem to overspread the Heavens and yet on the sudden all will be blown over and the day so fair that there will not be a cloud to be seen So am I sometimes my heart is full of sorrow and mine eyes full of tears and yet upon the sudden my heart loseth that sweet sad temper and all is blown over and not a cloud appears and these clouds of grief are not dispersed with the comforts and joyes of thy Spirit but with worldly business or company when I do grieve for my sins carnal grief bears a share in it and carnal joy abolisheth it Meditat. VII To confess my sins without any sense of them without any hatred of them to pray for grace and not to be sensible of the necessity or excellency of it to come to thine Ordinances without reaping any good from them to think and meditate of thee and neither admire nor love thee nor long and delight to be in thy company to what purpose are these things thou desirest of us our hearts and not our works words or thoughts without that Ah my Lord and my God shall all be in vain and wilt thou cast me off for ever Dost thou hate my soul and am I an abomination unto thee Must I be shut out for ever and never enjoy the sweetness of thy presence Thou wilt not O my God thou wilt not thou canst not O my God thou canst not for thou hast made a Covenant withme and I claim that Covenant for I have not any thing in world besides thy Covenant in the Lord Jesus Christ that I can so much as have the least hope that will do me any good if the Lord Jesus Christ did not sit at thy right hand to make intercession for me my sins continually daily hourly clamoring against me and accusing of me must needs prevail against me Alass my hear is far from that spiritual frame that thou requirest for the miseries that sin brings are more troublesome and heavy to me then the silthiness that is in fin thy blessings are more lovely in my eyes then thy self Every duty hardens me in my formality Lord thouart the father of mercies Oh have mercy upon me for my case is not the common case of thy people but few few of many may be found whose soul is like my poor soul for where is there any that can say so and yet be so little affected as I am Meditat. VIII Mine hopes are false and my fears are true the deadliest poysons do not make me sick nor the excellentest Cordials do not comfort me I am not sick of sin nor doth the Sacrament of the body and blood of Christ fill me with joy nay rather doth it not fill me with griefs and fears if my fears and griefs were not Carnal would they were more but my Carnal joyes eat out my Spiritual grief and my joyes also I am as it were like Absalom I hang between heaven and earth I would fain have heaven and yet would not part with earth Oh my Lord Jesus Christ art thou of no more excellency in mine eyes Doth thy love to me raise up no more love in me then to stand deliberating what to do when thou standest with stretched out arms to receive me to thy bosome Canst thou love one that loves thee so little as I do Thou didst love me when I loved thee not at all Why sittest thou so sad O my Soul Go cast thy self into the arms and bosome of the Lord Jesus Christ there lie and hear the beatings of his heart toward thee and it may be thou maiest be warmed with the heat of his love Christ pours out the boyling streams of his heart-blood upon thy poor soul for his hear boyled in love towards thee and can thine heart still be frozen Oh infidelity thou art the poyson of my Soul thou with thy cold blasts hast frozen mâ—ne heart and keep'st it so Lord give me faith or else all thy mercies are in vain Thy love is and hath been too great for me to believe Lord thou that lovest me so much as to give me Christ Oh love me so much as to give me saith to believe it There remains in mine heart no more then the first spark of thy love and the first Principle of grace that thou didst put into my soul when thou didst regenerate me All the flames
to do and still by the help of God I will not cease to cry and call upon him for whom my soul I doubt not but would love if he discover his beauties and love unto me and work them on my heart I seek for one who I cannot tell who he is before I find him then I shall know and shall tell to all who he is and set forth his excellencies though they shall as little understand me a I do them who declare the things that God hath wrought for them Medit. XXXV There is not such an one in the world as I am that I know Publicans and harlots I justifie them I in the midst of ordinanees and mercies in the midst of the flames of love nay when thou layest on me that affliction that is now fresh bleeding in mine eyes or rather despised and forgotten I should have learnt obedience by things I suffered and I have done as if I were to learn to sin by them Thou hast chastised me with rods and I have put the sting of sin into them and have made them scorpions Thou sendest them for Antidotes and I have turned them into poyson Lord teach me what it is wherein thou art so offended to leave me thus Lord I believe thou hast pardoned me but small is my comfort when thou pardonest sin but subduest it not Meditat. XXXVI Lord I do so evidently find my self unable to judge of truths or to resist temptations that I almost nay altogether lye at the mercy of every temptation and to be carried about with the wind of every vain doctrine if thou dost not stand by me what should I tell thee the secret puddle of my heart I am weary of the stench and filthiness of it there is not a prayer but they meet me at it and lye as a talent of lead upon me if my heart were all on fire with thy love these things could not be I sometimes have thoughts rising in my heart that are wicked proud and foolish thoughts I begin to be offended that I begging for the manifestations of thy love yet have them not but those thoughts no sooner begin to arise but I consider what am I that thou shouldest give me thy love sand how can I expect the manifestations of thy love when I will not give thee my love but let it run wast upon the creature How many times do I chuse to do anything rather then spend my time in Meditation and Prayer nay to do nothing and be idle for although thou lovest us first yet thou dost not usually discover thy thoughts of love to a Soul before she hath made over her love and her self unto thee then I think thou canst by the power of thy Spirit bring in my heart my Soul and my love and that usually ere thou dost ravish the soul with the discoveries of thy love this I know and let all the world know it that whatsoever wicked thoughts do arise in my weak heart which I cannot answer I know that all thy wayes are holy just and good Lord what shall I give for the sheddings abroad of love in my heart that which should be given for it were it at the utmost parts of the world I could fetch it thence But Lord the price of it already paid 't is near unto thee even at thy right hand O thou most High he hath paid for this Mercy by his blood long ago and my Prayers thou requirest not as a price Lord fill me with these Spiritual Supplications that I may give thee no rest nor take any rest my self until I have found him whom my soul loveth Come Lord Jesus Come quickly Meditat. XXXVII O Lord beat me and drive me with storms and Tempests I am come unto thee like the Prodigal Son for all but that which most of all I should have a Spiritual Sorrow ragged and tatter'd and undone My Sins and Misery are like his not my sorrow For me to see my self languishing my Graces daily grow weaker my love colder and even almost to be speechless in prayer Alas the Sorrow that I have is rather bewailing my Misery then my Sin I know not what it is Lord but thou dost Sure I am my condition is sad and I am sad and my sadness is all the poor remains of Comfort that I have and yet I no sooner begin to take any comfort in my grief but I perceive so much hypocrisie in my Grief that the poor Spark of Comfort that I have is put out Alas Tears of Blood were fitter for me then dry eyes O Lord must every trifle steal away my heart from thee Thine Excellencies are too high for me Wisdom is too high for Fools O that thou wouldest take me out of my own hands and deliver me from my self and howsoever my heart is not importunate enough now I shall thank and praise thee to all Eternity if thou wilt make me thine Thou hast done as much to draw me with the Cords of love even to wonder Lord do thou snatch me as a Fire brand out of the firâ— if thou shouldst stay till I am willing without thy making me so I am lost For I shall never part with these painted Vanities for all the glory in heaven except thou givest me the eye of Faith to see it and a Spiritual palat to relish it Meditat. XXXVIII O Lord wilt thou let a poor sinner lie gasping out his last breath at thy feet and die in thine arms I have aboundance of love for the world O that thou hadst it all I am sure I am not and shall never be at quiet untill thou hast it nor would I sleep until I am in thine arms of love My dearest God how comes it to pass that my heart cannot give it self to whom it will Had I a thousand worlds I would give all for thee that I might be thine O my soul why should we stand consulting and contriving what to do God is ten thousand times more then all things Why should we weigh a Talent of Lead and a Feather together to see which is heaviest O Lord My soul hath chosen thee long ago I have abundance of experience of the Truth of those things which I have believed I am thine and thou art my God Thou hast chosen me and I have chosen thee Is I should be so vain at any time as to leave thee thou art the same and thy choice fails not Thou Lord which mad'st me chuse thee whilest I had no experience of thy love wilt make me continue my choice Lord that any one should choose hell beforâ— thee It makes thee not to be less glorious Lord must my Blasphemies praise thee I find so much hell in my heart that it is not troubled in any proportionable Measure that there is so much hell in it When I set apart an hour for Meditation and Prayer then I kept my heart somewhat close But at other times I am little careful to improve what I read
late or my repentance more profound in the midst of this consideration I can hardly say but think with my self VVhy should I delay or refrain my enjoyment of God and am ready to say within my self The false joyes in God are better then the true joyes of the world these joyes are too sweet to let go Lord Jesus when thou kissest me with the kisses of thy mouth I will kiss the Son lest he be angry Lord thou art too good for me if I may say so how could I ever expect that thou shouldest come near me more the poor love I have makes me say a thousand worlds and a thousand heavens for my God the small beams of the light of thy countenance are so sweet Lord if thou wouldest but continue the joyes thou sometimes affordest I had enough I need not the comforts of the world to make it up nor fear the afflictions of the world though one need continual supplies comforts to support one yet they could not spend them Meditat. XLIII I will go to God saith David he is mine exceeding joy a sweet saying O that there were such a heart in me yet I have an unâ—nflamed heart a frozen heart if I leave all things and my self I should find thee but these poor joyes of the world quench the joys of the Spirit I shut out the glorious beams of thy heat and light and light up the Candles of the Creatures which have neither heat nor light in comparison of thine When I go about to rejoyce in thee My sins come and tell me that they must be mourned for first Any thing Lord any thing so that I may do what is pleasing in thy sight I am willing to stay for my joyes while thou art pleased to give them Only I beseech and desire these three things of thee 1. That I may not want grace though I want joyes 2. That I may not go about to make up the want of thy joyes with carnal joyes let me not kindle a fire walk and rejoyce in the light and sparks of what I have kindled c. 3. That though thou hast kindled joy yet that I may have sorrows that are Spiritual Lord how abundantly good art thou to them that love thee I lie under the weight of thy love and thy joy when I come hungry and thirsty to 〈◊〉 to be satisfied with thy joy to 〈…〉 lie now as a ship upon 〈…〉 while the Tide of thy 〈…〉 and lift me up and carry me into the Ocean of thy goodness When Mary Magdalen stood weeping at the Sepulchre thou didst call her by her name and she forgot all her sorrows she left her tears the Sepulchre and the Aâ—gel and cried out Rabboni My heart makes me believe that I would give the whole world to see Jesus Christ for I think if I could see him I should lie down at his feet and beg his grace and he would not deny me This is part of my weakness and want of faith for he hears my prayers as fully and is as willing to grant them now he is in Heaven as if he were on earth Lord Jesus thou that never did'st deny any poor soul that came to thee for grace and pardon thou never sendest them empty away but grantest their request Have mercy upon me O Lord my need and wants are as many and as great as many and as great as any of them all and if my sense of my misery be not so great my misery is so much the greater Meditat. XLIV Lord I perceive that spiritual sorrows and spiritual joys are wholly thy work for my sins are as many as great and of as deep a dye as any in the world that is not the sin against the holy Ghost and I am fully and sensibly convinced of it that they are so and yet I am as senceless as if my condition were quite hopeless for were it not so could I possibly be so feared as I am Thou hast said I will take away the stony heart Lord if thou wilt work who or what can hinder My corruptions and my sins have and do harden my heart by having and committing them nor will they soften it by considering them What hinders thee from taking away the infidelity and stoniness of my heart If that hardness and infidelity doth why that is the thing to be cured If I were not sick I need not a Physitian Lord I say not this to justifie my self for it is thou of thy free grace that must justifie me for I am lost And so for Joyes and Comforts though I read and hear of the Comforts that thou pourest out on others I am not moved nay those very Stories and sayings which have formerly inflamed me now are as sparks falling into the Sea warm not at all alas when I shall meet thee at the last day thy Mercies they shall testifie against me when they shall witness my sleightings of them my fruitlesness under them and unthankfulness for them What can I say Alas my poor soul we are undone but that day is not come yet one hour more the Lord it may be will give me Come Lord Jesus Come quickly Come into my poor soul for I am afraid to meet thee at the Tribunal of thy Judgement If thou wert on the Earth methinks I could go with confidence to thee that thou wouldest hear me but now thou art in heaven I cannot Blessed are they who have not seen and yet believe Lord I have received double for all my sins in respect of any profit or pleasure I have had by them I have had full measure prest down and running over but alas my vexation of Spirit is more gall then all the pleasures that I have had that have been worldly The loss and want of the discoveries of thy love cannot be recompensed with all that the world hath thy loves are better then wine Indeed in respect of the offence to thee every prayer deserves hell Meditat. XLV Lord I am as afraid of Comforts as of terrours for when I have comforts I am subject to pride my self in them and instead of having sweet thoughts of thee have high thoughts of my self Afflictions breed sorrow and comforts pride Sorrow is better then pride My preaching is my temptation and and my accuser If I preach not the strictest wayes of God my negligence condemns me and if I domy Sermons condemn me For my life is hell I am afraid of publishing something I have by the help of thy Spirit written left my life should do no more harm by scandal then the writings should do good by directing to holiness and yet sometimes I think that if I publish and own such writings they would be a strong Engagement to live more holily But I have something against that also for that Motive would in short time lose its strength Such waxen wings would melt and let me fall to my former wayes and that holiness which is born up with such
carnal motives is a poor thing Lord how am I distracted and torn in pieces with these thoughts Nay Lord if thou wilt have me go with these burthens on my soul do whatever seems good in thine eyes If I may but drudge in thy house though I lie among the pots yet to be a Skullion in thy house is better then to sit at the Table of Princes Lord I am undone except thou work a miracle of mercy yet if I am undone it may be before thou givest me over and discoverest me to the world thou wilt let me do something more that I may glorifie thee and edifie the people nay it may be thou maist suffer me as long as I live to do much of which thou maist have glory Lord if my heart be not upright yet O that my actions and my Preachings may be such that men seeing and hearing them may be stirred up to glorifie thee by doing those things sincerely which I it may be do out of hypocrisie I am sure too much hypocrisie Lord I have begged for such a heart as may not deceive me nor dishonour thee O my God What shall I doe Nay Lord what wilt thou doe I am undone unless thou dost work mightily above all that I can speak or think according to that mighty power wherewith thou didst raise the Lord from the dead O that I might be so raised that I might return no more to corruption Medit. XLVI By this I know and am sensible It is not for any man to live by his own strength by my knowing how impossible it is for a sick Man to recover without thee If a living man cannot speak how can a condemned man live without thee If living bones cannot move how can dry bones live Lord thou meetest me not at Duties thou speakest not to me there Thou speakest to me in mercies and I answer not in judgements and I carry my self as a sleepy man that is unwilling to be awaked What wilt thou do with me Lord when I will neither speak to thee nor answer thee when thou speakest O the weakness of my graces and the power of thy Mercies Those sins I have had a mind to commit thou hast taken from me the opportunity to commit It is a comfort to me that I had not opportunity but it would be a greater comfort not to have a mind An Instance according to the Rules given for Meditating on the Scripture A Meditation on these words Isa 66. 2. But to this man will I look even to him that is poor and of a contrite Spirit and trembleth at my Word LET us seriously consider O my Soul That if an Angel or God himself from Heaven had spoken these words in our hearing as once Christ did to Paul when he was going to Damascus surely I think they would have very much affected us Is the Word of God less his Word because it is written I read that the Apostle 2 Pet. 1. 17 18 19. speaking of a voice that he himself heard from Heaven saith that he had a more sure word of Prophecy that is as I conceive that he was no less sure that the words of the Prophets were the very words of God then those that he heard with his ears Then lâ—t us not be less affected with these words then if we our selves had heard God himsâ—lf speak them 2. Nor let us think that they less concern us then if we had earnestly begged of God to tell us what he would have us to be do and as an answer of our prayers we had heard him speak to us from heaven in particular To this man will I look that is of a poor and contrite Spirit and trembleth at my Word For doubtless God hath not caused his VVord to be Written in vain at a venture for whomsoever should read it but knew not who they were should read it but he knew every particular person to whose hand his VVord should come and knew his word should come to my hands and I should read these wery words and therefore caused them to be written in particular for my sake though not exclusively Christ died for all his people yet Paul saith that he loved me and gave himself for me and Christ did think particularly of Paul and so of every one else for whom he died and gave himself up as a Sacrifice and Ransome particularly thinking on and intending every one that should be saved by his Death If a Minister should go to one that is given to Swearing and tell him of the hainousness of that sin and lay it home to his Conscience in private it generally doth affect him more then to hear the same sin reproved in publick yet he should as particularly apply it then though he had not in this respect so much reason to apply it as I have to apply these words to mine own soul For the Minister doth not nor can actually and particularly intend every one that is guilty of the sins he reproves for he knows not every particular person that is guilty of the sin he reproves as God doth every one that reads his word Therefore let us take this and apply it to our selves as if God had sent these words written with his own hand to us in particular VVhen it is said that the Scripture is written for our Learning c. Rom. 15. 4. I conceive the meaning is not only by way of sufficiency but by way of intention efficacy decree in resgect of his people that is not only that there is a sufficient matter in Scripture to instruct us but that God did intend and decree that this place of Scripture should instruct every particular one of his people that is instructed by it 3. And indeed what is the reason that I now read these words and do now intend to Meditate on them Is it not or certainly it ought to be that I should try whether I am such or whether I have such an heart and Spirit as these words signifie and if I am not so much as I ought to be that I should humble my self and be as truly sensible and as much affected and much more then I am with those bodily infirmities that lie upon me and if so be there were a receit given me which I had a long time sought for and endeavoured to get being assured that if I had it it would cure me Surely I should not only read it because I might be able to tell others what would cure such a Disease or to enable my self to discourse of that matter but I should read it with abundance of joy and unquestionable resolution to take it Alas Lord why do I not read thy Word so also where the unquestionable remedies of all spiritual diseases are set down Surely it is my senselesness of the mischiefs of these Spiritual Distempers that makes me so little affected with grief for them and with joy that I have found out the remedies for them 4.
that they would consider their latter end These serious considerations of our death and preparations for it is one of the chiefest points of wisdom in the world 7. Consider if thou miscarry in this great work of concernment viz. thy death thou art undone for ever If thou mightest live again and mend that errour which thou committedst in thy dying ill then there were some hope but it is appointed for all men once to die and but once Affections 1. Abhor Sin It is you and you only that can make that hour miserable unto me Alas O my Soul though we now have slight thoughts of such and such Sinnes through the deceitfulness of Satau and our own hearts yet at that hour if we had a thousand worlds we would give them all for that which we have so little regarded while we live viz. that we had kept a strict Communion with God and watch over our own hearts 2. Despise the World O ye vanities and fooleries of the world why should I spend my time and strength in following after you what have ye done for me or what can you do when I shall stand most in need of comfort you will not only prove vanities but vexation of Spirit Solomon hath tried you and he hath from his own experience and from the teachings of the Spirit hath told me that you are but vanity and all men when they come to die set their Seal to this Truth Shall I to mine own destruction yield to your enticements why should I not have the same opinion of you now as I certainly shall have when I come to die 3. Humble thy self before God and cast thy self into his arms of love beg wisdom of him every night I am a day nearer my Grave then in the morning I am nearer to it but Lord make me fitter for my Grave and when that hour shall come let it not come as a Thief in the night to rob me of my comforts and rather then that hour should not be an happy hour let my whole life be nothing but affliction and misery Alas Lord if thou deniest me this Petition what wilt thou give me Thou hast said O that they were wise that they would consider their latter end and I said Lord teach me so to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto wisdom Resolutions O my Soul since things are thus let us not resist known Truths shall we neglect these Truths because they are plain if they are abstruce then we doubt them If they are plain shall we despise them Dost thou not know how soon thou shalt die then what have we to doe that must be done before we die do it with all thy might for the night comes wherein no man works My children are not yet sufficiently instructed in the wayes of God I will set apart half an hour in a day to instruct them for this moneth or give so much to the poor every time I miss there is such a neighbour or acquaintance who goes on in wicked wayes and my words have so much power with him that I am confident if I do earnestly beg of God to bless me in the work and take him privately and lay before him his danger and press him to holiness he may be wrought upon I have omitted it hitherto but I am resolved sometime within a week to take some opportunity to speak seriously and home unto him or give so much to the poor and so every week give so much to the poor until I have spoke with him c. And since it so much concerns me to be prepared for Death I will every day make it one special clause of my prayer to beg of God that he would fit me for that hour and I will lay up a Treasury in heaven by giving to the poor and make my self friends of this unrighteous Mammon that when I fail they may receive me into their habitations Conclusion 1. Pray Beg of God that he would increase in thee strong Spiritual apprehensions of Death and that the thoughts of Death might imbitter every unlawful pleasure to thee Say unto God Lord how few dayes are between me and eternity whether of horrour or of glory I am not yet fully satisfied It is a sad thing that a thing of so great concernment I should be uncertain of O blessed God let this Meditation so work upon me that I may not cease to pray unto thee and to examine my self and use all holy means for the making of my Calling and Election sure For very shortly I shall be past praying past examining for when thou shalt summon me out of this life then I must come to judgement therefore those resolutions that I have made of walking more strictly give me grace to perform them to the utmost 2. Praise God blessed be thy Name O God for any inward motions of thy Spirit that thou hast afforded me and for any c. 3. Acknowledge thy weakness c. blessed God if my heart were not so base so hard so vile that it alwayes hindereth me either in holy Duties or from holy Duties it were not possible but that such serious Truths such powerful spiritual practical truths should have wrought so mightily upon me that I should never from this very hour be deceived any more with the vanities of the world but should have set my self and made it my business to prepare for that great day c. After all 1. Think what passages most affected thee 2. Write down thy resolutions c. 3. Go unwillingly from the duty Meditat. V. Of the Day of Judgement 1. BE convinced of and affected with the presence of God 2. Beg of God that he would enable thee seriously to think of firmly to believe and strongly to be affected with the Truths concerning the day of Judgement Considerations 1. Consider how Dreadful and Terrible that day will be when the Sea shall roar when the very powers of heaven shall be shaken when Christ shall come with thousands of his Angels in flaming fire When an Angel came down from Heaven to rowl away the stone the Souldiers that watched there became as dead men nay the holiest men that have liv'd have been exceedingly afraid at things of far less Terrour then those things are which will be at the day of Judgement For Moses himself did exceedingly fear and tremble when he heard and saw the terrible signs that were at the giving of the Law and the blessed Apostle Hebr. 12. 21. became as a dead man when he saw Christ not in a flaming fire as he shall appear at the day of Judgement Rev. 1. 17. 2. Consider that at the day of Judgement Sin will appear out of measure sinful for then it will appear with all its aggravations for the Majesty Holiness and Mercies of God will appear in their perfect glory Men shall then know what it is to sinne against God our ignorance of God now makes us senseless of the sinfulness
of Sin but when God shall appear like himself how shall those sins that men now make light of make them run mad with despair 3. Consider O my Soul that those excuses that now quiet thee will not serve at that day nay thou wilt be ashamed to own them 4. Consider how strict an account God will require of thee at that day if only thy grosser abominations that are odious in the sight of all men should be brought to judgement but the smallest sin that ever thou committest every idle word and every vam thought the very Grounds Manner and Ends of thy most holy performances shall then appear more dreadfully sinful then now the most crying sin that ever thou committest doth 5. Consider that every one o thy thoughts words and actions whether good or evil shall be brought to judgement even thy most secret and unknown Sins to thy self or others Consider O my Soul what shame and confusion will cover thee at that day dost thou not remember what at such and such a time thou didst in secret Suppose all those Sins that ever thou committest in private should be known to all in England or should be writ on thy forehead that all that saw thee might read them wouldest thou not be ashamed to come into any company but what is this â—o that which shall be at that day when all thy secret Sins shall be published before all Men Angels and God himself these are not inventions of men to terrifie thee but truths of God to reform thee 6. Consider how fully and â—â—â—rly thou shalt be convinced that day of thy Sins those with whom thou hast committed them will witness against thee thy dearst friends that thou had'st in the world must and will testifie against thee nay Satan that tempted thee to those sins and God that or bad thee those Sinnes nay â—ine own conscience which â—hen will as perfectly remember â—very Sin with its aggravating circumstances as if it were but â—hen committed will be a swift witness against thee this will be that worm that dies not a clamorous and a wounded Conscience are insupportable even in this life but neither are the clamours so loud nor the wounds so deep and pestilent as they will be 7. Consider the dreadful Sentence of Condemnation that God will pass upon the wicked viz. Go ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the Devil and his angels Wicked men know not now what it is to depart from God but then they shall know for God before Men and Angels in fury poured out to bid them be gone and call them cursed wretches who knows the horrour oâ— it If the wrath of a King be as thâ— roaring of a Lion what will thâ— wrath of God be Consider further that word is Everlastiâ—â— Fire and Eternity How dreadâ— art thou further to have such miserable companions as Devils the Devil should appear to thee when thou art alone how could'st thou bear it 8. Consider the sweet Sentence that shall pass from the gracious mouth of Christ to his people viz. Come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world and how sweet will those words be when in the mid'st of all their fears and troubles the righteous shall hear the Sentence of absolution What abundance of comfort have the people of God when God manifesteth and gives them his loves even in this life and seals them to the day of Redemption and lets them see their names written in the Book of Life giving them full assurance that he is theirs and they are his but alas all those joyes may not be compared to these the testimony of our own conscience and the witnessing of the Spirit the manifestations of his love and the smiles of his countenance are not so clear so full so lasting as they shall then be no more to be compared to them then the light of the Sun is to that of a spark of fire For Christ to call us blessed is more then for all the world and for all the angels in heaven to call us so doubtless it did exceedingly affect Daniel when the Angel told him that he was greatly beloved Dan. 9. 23. If thou had'st a thousand worlds O my soul wouldest thou not give all for this that God would say so to thee Well if thou wilt be watchful over thy wayes live holily love and believe in Christ and repent the day will shortly come when Christ shall say that and much more Affections and Resolutions 1. Tremble O my soul when thou thinkest of these things Why art not thou exceedingly affected with the thought of them hast thou such a full assurance or is thy life such that thou needest not fear Was not Moses and John as holy as thou Was not John the beloved Disciple and Moses one with whom God spake face to face and yet they trembled O my soul it is much to be feared that it is Ignorance and infidelity not a Gospel-assurance that makes thee so senceless nay it is infallibly certain that whosoever lives wickedly and trembles not at the thought of judgement it proceeds from a conscience feared with a hot Iron 2. Admire and be astonisht at the miserable condition of all those that live without God in the World such are all they that repent not and believe not the Gospel 3. Examine and try thy self O my soul Let us judge our selves that we be not judged We may easily know what Questions shall be put to us that day we must be judged by the Word of God then let us judge our selves by it now do we indeed strive to enter in at the strait gate May that which we do in the service of God be truly called striving or no Can a faint prayer be called striving or no when every Temptation at the first assault overcomes thee and thou fightest not a stroake Is this striving Is this to fight a good fight and resisting unto blood Do we think that God at the day of Judgement will avouch this striving nay can your own Conscience think it so now Be not deceived God is not mocked 4. Pray O blessed God thou that art the great and just Judge of all men be pleased to fit and prepare me for that that that day may not come aâ— a thief in the night as to rob me of all my Comforts deal with me how it seemes good in thy eyes afflict me chastise me only let me be saved in the day of the Lord. 5. O my Soul Let us truly consider what we are to do and how we are to live that when others at that day shall call to the Hills and to the Mountains to fall upon them and to hide them from the wrath of the Lamb we may lift up our heads because our Salvation draweth near Well O my Soul I read in the Word of God that the neglecting to judge our selves and the judgeing of others are two Sins that will
and joyes that God hath bestowed upon his people in this life they are unspeakable and glorious Some have cried out Lord either with-hold thy comforts or enlarge the Vessel for I am not able to bear my joys We read of Daniel that the Manifestations that God gave him drunk up his Spirit and made him sick some dayes after Dan. 8. 27. Such joyes have been so great that they have sweetned the bitterest persecutions they have made them clap their hands for joy in the mid'st of flames and cry out in the ravishment of their spirits O ye Papists you talk of miracles but here is a miracle I am in the midst of these flames as in a bed of Roses But alas what are the joyes that God communicates to his people in this life they are but as the drop of the bucket to the whole Ocean the Apostle tells us that it doth not appear what wâ— shall be We would give it we had it a thousand worlds one would give all to enjoy these spiritual sanctifying ravishments of spirit one day If these then are so sweet what are those things that thou hast laid up for them that love thee 4. Consider that God hath prepared these joyes on purpose to glorifie his goodness and power and wisdom in preparing joyes for his people worthy of his magnificence and love he doth it for that end that he may be glorified and admired in all his Saints and what cannot infinite power and wisdom and what will not infinite Love and Goodness do when they set themselves to prepare an entertainment and to bestow a reward that may set forth their greatness what do Kings do in such cases that which is accounted a Feast amongst poor people is a rich mans fast If the strength of this consideration were drawn forth it would wonderfully affect us 2. Consider wherein these joys consist for the negative part of them There will be no sickness no pain no death no temporal misery or imperfection nay there shall be no Sin no Temptations nor corruptions no Desertions no imperfections of Graces or Duties or Comforts What would a poor 〈…〉 from this body of Sin and Death there we shall see God clearly fully everlastingly there our enjoyments shall be incomprehensible our union wonderful and inseparable and all shall be eternal What a world of difference is there betwixt a dead Carcass and the same body when he liv'd when it is dead it is sensless gaâ—â—ly filthy how beautiful how active how many rare endowments had â—â— when it liv'd and all these prâ—ceeded from the union of the soâ—â— with it and if the soul which but a poor creature by its union doth communicate such rare things to the body what do we imagin will be communicated both to the body and the soul when God shall be more neerly united to them then they are one to another when they shall be made more capable of receiving and God will be more abundant in communicating Affections and Resolutions 1. Admire the love and goodness of God O blessed God from the beginning of the World men have not perceived by the hearing of the ear nor have they seen with their eyes nor have any understood save only thou O God what thou hast prepared for them that love thee how hast thou commended thy love to us that we are thy Sons but it doth not yet appear what we shall be O the length and breadth and hâ—igth and depth of thy love that cannot he known Lord what are our duties or what are our persons that thou shouldest so highly reward them and us our best righteousness is as filthy rags and for us we are worms nay a generation of Vipers Is it not enough that thou dost not shake us off from thine hand of providence into Hell fiâ—e but that thou shouldest lay such Vipers in thy bosome and warm us with thy love Is it not enough for thee to forgive us our rebellions but that thou shouldest give us such blessings were it not a miracle of bounty and goodness for thee to bid us seriously to consult and think what to ask of thee and thou wouldest give it us though it were to the half of thy Kingdom but that thou shouldest set thy wisdom on work in preparing and thy liberality in bestowing such incomprehensible reward that we could neither ask no think but as far as the heaven is above the earth so are thy thoughts of love above our thoughts For thee to give thy Kingdom thy Christ thy self these are acts of goodness that are infinitely above us yet worthy of thee that delightest to magnifie thy goodness that rejoycest over thy people as the Bridegroom rejoyceth over his Bride Despise the World What are the things of this World O my Soul what is there here to be desired but Sin and Misery Snares and Temptations Vanity of vanities and vexation of Spirit one hours communion with God and the joyes of the holy Ghost that he hath given to his people in this world are worth more then the world can know of Why do we spend our strength and money for that which is not bread and our labours for that which doth not satisfie O vain world God hath out bidden thee thou offerest trifles he offers me Heaven for my love and service though my love be unworthy too little for him yet it is too much too good for thee 3. Long for and breathe after Heaven As the Hartpanteth after the Water-books so panteth my Soul after thee O God My Soul thirsteth for God for the living God when shall I come and appear before God when shall I be delivered from my absence from thee and from mine ignorance of thee Make hast O my beloved and be thou like a Roe or a young Hart upon the Mountains of Spices The Spirit sath Come and the Bride saith Come and the Bridegroom sath Surely I Come quickly even so come Lord Jesus come quickly 4. Encourage and stir up thy felt to the love and service of God Come O my Soul Let us be steadfast and unmovable alwayes abounding in the work of the Lord forasmuch as we know that our labour is not in vain in the Lord Let us not be weary of well doing nor of the labour of love for we shall reap if we faint not We have known and in some measure endeavoured to serve God thus many years were it not a sad thing for the want of continuing one year one month it may be but one week or one day more I should lose all my hopes and expectations of glory God forbid O my Soul Let us encourage our selves in the Lord we are not kept by our own but by the mighty power of God through Faith to Salvation and be thou assured of this that the first minute thou art in Heaven thou shalt have such full measure pre'st down heapt up and running over that thou shalt break forth in the Songs of joy and praise to