command the Vertues of the Heavens absolutely govern the Fates of Men and Angels can render thee so rich contented in thy self so beautifull and adorable to the redeemed by thy Cross as this immovable Constancy this admirable Resignation this unparallell'd Tranquillity and evennesse of Mind But beware my Soul thou beest not mistaken for his words import that his will be not fulfill'd it is not then His will that is so constant and fixt yet His it is for were it His Fathers will by which he speaks he could not call it thine since he that speaks is to himself I and not thou and the will by which he delivers his Speech mine and not thine But how then can he say not mine of that which he will have done 'T is therefore His and more his then what he calls his yet he calls it not His and the opposite His. And were it not His it would do us no good for whom he does what he does For we have also contrary wills and yet we have not two wills following two natures as he had therefore even in him these two wills with one whereof he speaks and concerning the other are both of his humane nature that by them we might cure the contrariety we find in ours Why then is one of them his the other his Fathers why if not because the one he had from infirmity the other from strength the one from flesh and blood the other from heavenly inspirations what proceeds from weaknesse from defect from the odour of nothing is our own but what comes from vertue from strength from Being all that is Gods and to be acknowledged totally from him as Beginner and Perfecter of all things But is there no remedy for this distressed Soul must he alone tread the winepresse of sour grapes alone drink of this bitter Cup Ah! dearest SAVIOUR leave no means unattempted that possibly may bring thee at least some small refreshment arise and try whether thy old friends can afford thee any comfort those who were so delighted with thy glory on Mount Thabor who sung so cheerfully but five dayes since at thy triumphant entrance into Jerusalem who just now solemnly protested their readinesse to die with thee Alas they are all asleep so fast so dead asleep that neither chiding nor shame nor compassion on their dear Masters desolate condition can awake them to say so much as one short prayer for themselves O weak foundation of humane Friendship unhappy and already deceiv'd is he that builds on so false a bottome how farre better is it to trust in God then Man in the Maker of Princes then the mouldring hand-work O ill-requited Master is this the fruit of all thy teachings is this the reward for all thy benefits is this the profit of all those stupendious wonders thou hast done before them At least Judas was tempted by the glistering shine of silver that dazzles the eyes of all the world he was exasperated by the losse of the price of the Ointment and by the publick reproach of his treason whereas these thy beloved thy cherished Disciples have no plea to excuse them but their dulnesse but their coldnesse and want of love to their Master Though Earth fail Heaven may be true Renew thy complaints and let the fervour of thy prayers melt those azure floors the Angels tread And already behold a bright and suddain dawning from the East and the visible shape of a heavenly Messenger Come down thou long expected Embassadour of peace and fill this horrid desart with the charming musick of thy celestiall voice But oh he stayes at the gates of heaven and onely looks down afarre off as if earth now were become an abomination and unworthy to be approacht by sanctified persons no glory to God no peace to Men no harmonious note not so much as a cup of cold water to refresh the fainting bowels of this afflicted Sufferer O strange mutation how undutifull a disobedience is this in respect of the obsequious service tender'd him at his baptisme Are heavenly affections subject to change do Starres encrease and wane like sublunary meteors O no gladly would this Spirit of happinesse stoop low as Earth to raise the head and support the weak members of his Lord but that severe Fathers commands and narrow limited permissions allow onely so farre to relieve the oppressed heart that it may be able to drink up the very dregs of that bitter potion he has temper'd for him O Heaven now more cruell then Earth which charitably stupifies the sense and takes away the pain by encreasing the torment whilst tyrannicall heaven sends fresh supplies of strength onely to heap on a greater load of grief O my dear Lord all thy troubled thoughts seem'd wholly restored to their usuall calmnesse and by that noble act of Resignation all thy affections ran smoothly in their own channels but now again the storm is raised and louder and fiercer then before See how it beats against that strong barrier of Thy will be done See how the broken waves return with doubled fury to invade this Rock of patience whose firmnesse the more violently it is assaulted the more steddily 't is fixt and his prayer more extended to his eternall Father Hear him hear him fountain of Pitty if not for thy own goodnesse if not for respect to him at least that we may be encourag'd to call on thee that we may hope to be heard by thee Thou invitest us to come to thee shall this be our entertainment thou chid'st us for asking nothing in thy SON'S name yet shut'st thine eares against His voice begging for his own Soul Undutifull and wicked Reuben that had abominably defil'd his Fathers bed found compassion for his little Brother seeing the anguish of his heart when he humbled himself before them and after reproacht his brethren that his life was justly demanded at their hands and will not the cry of this innocent Abel's bloud reach up to heaven and mollifie the rigidnesse of those severe decrees But whither am I straid here on earth is subject enough to require my whole application Behold how his bloud boyles in his veins his flesh grows red and swells all or'e his body his sinews and arteries stretch as on a rack the pores of his skin open like a sive and in a moment more fountains then feed the Ocean break from this source of misery What 's this I see on that once-comely visage not crystall teares not a gentle and trickling dew but whole drops of ruddy and blackish sweat Wo is me they are â—â—â—â—ed and knotty berries of bloud Unfortunate fruit of this fair Tree Physicians and Naturalists you say thick humours cannot be purg'd by transpiration study me then how this is come to passe O the most beautifull and gracious among the sons of men Was it for this thy body was fitted to thee of Virgin-bloud untoucht by men and Angels Was it for this thou wert made the Top and Crown
the most rich and excellent piece of all in his own particular property and degree The fifth discourse Soul AS you put me in mind of one thing I should have forgotten so you have embolden'd me to ask another I should else have been asham'd to propose and yet I confesse it has a great power mastery over my affections 't is that I love to be beloved If any shew the least signe of kindnesse for me methinks presently they are the best persons in the world neither is there so poor a wretch but if I see in him a hearty expression of love towards me I cannot chuse but love him again Alas what do I talk of Men if a little Dog or Bird or any other dumb Creature come once to take a haunt to me and be delighted in my pany 't is a death to see any harm befall them and I find a very great satisfaction and content to see them play and pleas'd according to their low manner Now if this love be wanting in Heaven I fear 't will put me out of conceit with the pleasures there Light You are too fearfull and too little considerate of the joyes you aim at Think but with your self that Charity is nothing but the love of God and your Neighbour that 't is the way to Heaven and that of our three guides and conducters thither onely that remains with us and see then whether there can be any fear you shall want love Consider that the principall and main employment in Heaven is nothing else but to love and be beloved and those there are the greatest lovers who are in the greatest favour and highest glory For God himself is love and none is in God or God in them but by love Measure therefore with your thoughts the scope of Heaven from Gods eternall throne to the least child which by Baptisme is made partaker of the Adoption of Christ and be sure that all these shall love you you especially love you as much as if there were no others to be belov'd but only your self that the higher and greater every one is the more ardent expressive and effectuall shall his love be to you in person in particular by name and design What do you now conceit of the base love of this world of the love of Dogs and Birds raise a little your thoughts and look up at true love where it reignes in its full glory where it shewes it self in its Magnificence fly at it there fear not if you love it cannot escape you make but your approaches it will meet you 't is too ethereall for this cloudy region lift but your self above your body and of it self it will bend and stoop to your Arms. Soul What you have said cannot chuse but be a great comfort but I have a foolish scruple if you will give me leave to utter it yet I need not be so coy since you know enough by me this ' t is I have been taught that we should strive to love all men for Almighty Gods sake and so I suppose it passes in Heaven that all these great lovers which you have express'd to be there are of this Nature that they will love me because God Almighty commands it And this alas according to my low apprehension gives me but little satisfaction for this love and good will is not to me but to Almighty God whereas my perversenesse is such that I my self would be beloved and I mark in my self a great difference between when I give money to some little child I am pleas'd with when I bestow an Almes on a poore body that askes me for Gods sake in the one I find that affection I desire others should bear to me towards the Beggar I have no such inclination and the cause as I conceive is that one seems to deserve my love the other only to need it Now if you tell me that in Heaven they shall love me but I shall not deserve it I confesse as my affections now stand 't will be a great cooling to the esteem I desire to have of their love Light How truly spake he that said I know my self a Man that is a proud and yet a wretched thing Is it possible you cannot endure to be belov'd beyond your desert I fear you endure it often enough in this world but here self-conceit makes you easily think not only all love and esteem due to you which is offer'd but for the most part that too little is offer'd Yet I have observ'd sometimes it happens that we truly conceit another to shew more affection towards us then we have deserved though I never heard any offended at such excesse but rather highly pleas'd and engag'd to an endeavour of deserving it Neverthelesse I 'le strive to give you content even in this point Therefore tell me what you think of a person in whom reason governs in full measure so that not a thought passes but according to the pure direction of it do you believe in such a person any love can be unreasonable Soul No certainly so far is past doubt Light And if we love any thing more then it is amiable do you think that love is reasonable Soul I perceive whither you aime that since in Heaven all 's govern'd by reason none there can love otherwise then according to desert but withall I see there may be that desert in another and not in me as for example they shall love me because God who deserves to be obey'd commands them and if only thus I rest as unsatisfied as before Light Why do you conceive that God can command any unreasonable thing especially there where reason is in it's perfection for here I know not what the mixture of bodily qualities with reason may make it reasonable for God to command or if God would command others to love you beyond desert yet do you think that himself being the essence of reason and understanding can love you so or that any one by his command can love you more then himself does Soul This is right again Yet I see we love many things for the connexion they have with some other and not for themselves a Dog a Book a Glove from a beloved person is much made of not for it self but because the using it kindly is an expression or rather a practise of our love towards the person to whom it belongs So I imagine because I am a creature of Almighty God's making and have cost his only Son so dear a price those blessed spirits inflam'd with the love of God may also expresse an affection to me which you see is wholly by the desert of another not mine and however it may be infinitely more then I deserve yet is it not that which I express'd to be requisite to my content Light Your palate is very nice and delicate yet you shall be pleas'd What think you then where reason as I asked before is in full height can any thing there be
of bread without a thankfull lifting up to the Feeder let me not put on a ragg without bending my heart and tuning its strings to the love of him by whom I am rendered the But and Scope of the whole World's government What shall I say to Thee my heart-o'rewhelming Love when I consider how many millions are swallowed in eternall perdition whilest I am one of that small number Thou hast brought to the light and height of knowing Thee and finding the narrow path to salvation That Thou art not unjust I easily see for all is thine and in thy hand to give and dispose according to thy liberality to which he where Thou extendst it not can pretend no claim having more already to thank Thee for then he is able to esteem But why then didst Thou set set thine Eye upon me preferring this wretch before so many thousands Was I nobler or more excellent then they O no Angels and Hosts of heaven whose Being or Nature I am not able to apprehend lye chain'd in Sulphure and darknesse Was my Wit or Parts beyond others O no the Sages of India and the subtile Riddlers of the East were ignorant of thy Law and perisht in their Ignorance Was I mightier or richer then they O no the Conquerours of Kingdomes and the Gyants powerfull in warre were not chosen by Thee much lesse the Sons of Agar the Merchants that traverse the world to purchase treasure and heap up the wealth of Nations were called to thy light Let me sound as deep as I can nothing but thy self-Goodnesse Wisdome and Power without the least preceeding disposition in me can I find to be the source and spring of all this advantage O My Soul What dost expect if this be not enough to set thee on fire yet look but about thee and behold a farther endearment See thine own Countrey thy Neighbours Acquaintance thy Kindred and Friends how many maist thou observe in all degrees more worthy of acceptation then thou yet they neglected and Mercy indulged thee think but on those whose good nature and innocent life makes thy self many times compassionatly grieve at their unhappinesse and desiring to be the means of bringing them to that great good wherein thou art a sharer and reflect that former Ages and the vast spatiousnesse of the Earth afford many millions of such yet all permitted to undo themselves and run upon their everlasting ruine Consider this strange partiallity of mercy And yet thou canst doubt yet thou canst say Were I sure of Gods love But why did I ask whether I was better then others so deserving preferrence since I have or can have no good but from Thee Could I pre-ordain my self to be born of Christian and Catholick Parents who should take care to incorporate me into the Family of the Heirs of Blisse by the Sacraments instituted and afforded by Thee Might I be the cause why my Mother Nurses fed me as soon with wholesome Doctrine as with their Milk why they prepar'd Priests Masters to guide frame my tender Age was 't I that led me to a liking of the true Religion that only Path of Heaven or brought I my self to believe and hope in Thee to love Thee and those Rewards thou hast prepar'd for them that follow thee No no dear and dread Providence Thou art our Alpha and Omega If I do any Good Thou provid'st and fittest the means for it if I abstain from Evil Thou divert'st the Occasions Thou presentest awing Fears and shak'st perpetually the Bridle over my head that I may not be lawlesse and undisciplin'd If I consult of any acceptable work Thou preparest me Motives by Books by Teachers by Friends by Opportunities Thou directest my Thoughts and apprehensions ordering my Spirits in my Brain that what will be efficacious should occurre Thou enlightenest my Judgement to discern the consequence of Truths necessary to my Resolution Thou quellest my Appetite that it hinder not those Truths from setling in me If I resolve Thou so rangest all things that I chuse what is best not only for the present but what shall be so too in future occasions whereof I know nothing And as I am utterly ignorant of the things that are to fall out many moneths and years after which neverthelesse depend on this Resolution and in their season so take their force from it that they would certainly fail if it had not been made right no more or rather much lesse know I any thing or did I co-operate in the least to that long Chain of Causes which bred in me all those parts and little circumstances every one so necessary to this Resolution that if any had miss'd the Resolution had miscarried more or lesse not proving the same nor producing the same effects So that let me reflect on any action great or little long or short or however qualified I find that 't is I indeed do it but the force and vertue by consequence the honour and praise is thine I do it but as the Child to whom the Nurse gives Nuts or Beads and holding his hand throwes them into a hole whilst he alas thinks 't is he playes so well and pleases himself as with his own act not having the wit to consider 't is his Nurses aime Just so my God and my tender Sustainer just so dost thou with me whilst I often forget thee my weak brains reaching no farther then to see that I do the deed without being able through dulnesse or pride to passe my self and discern thee the only true cause and root of all my good But seeing my self consult resolve and do I often take this wretch for as primary as Thou for thy coefficient and helper not purely thine instrument and wholly depending on thee Which since I barely am and that vertuous action my chiefest good proceeds so entirely from Thee what is left for me but to love ever love and nothing else but love Thus far reach the Entry and Porch of Love's Palace Then we discover Its great Hall when we begin to contemplate the Essentiall Deity macerated and steep'd for our sakes in all the Miseries of Mankind That God of Gods lap'd up in a Virgin 's Wombe delivered naked into freezing winds and the smart stroaks of night-aire swath'd in bands and clouts hanging at a Maidens breasts short in Age weak in limbs and not forgetting to fulfill all infirmities of his Brethren Soon after led by his Mothers hand setling his tender steps feeding on the fruits of our earth following his Parents to Jerusalem lost and sought and not found with teares subject to his Mother and her Husband growing in Wisdome and Vertue as well as in Body After this working with his reputed Father and in no visible fashion differing from the life of his Parents till he was baptiz'd by Saint John his holy Precursor Then fasting forty dayes in the Wildernesse gathering Disciples instructing them working miracles before them living on the