which he discerns in himself For the goodnes and mercy of God upon which he hath placed his eyes and his heart doth infinitely exceed and out strip al that which can be ill in us And with this consideration being rooted in the very strings of the heart a man unties himself from himself as from some broken reed and ever goes resting upon God and confiding in him according to that of the Prophet Daniel Not confiding in our selves nor in any merit or good work of ours do we presume to lift up our eyes to thee O Lord and to beg favour at thy hands but by putting our confidence in thy great mercy CHAP XIII Of the second degree of Humility and here it is declared wherein this degree consists THe second degree of Humility saith Bonaventure is when a man desires to be held by others in smal account Desires to be unknown and dis-esteemed and that no body may have you in account If we were well grounded in the first degree of Humility we should already have made most of our way towards the second If really we esteemed our selves little it would not seem very hard to us that others should also esteem little of us yea and we would be glad thereof Wil you see that this is true saith he All men are naturally glad when others conform themselves to our opinion and think the fame that we think Well then if this be so why are we not glad when others have us in smal account Do you not know why Because we esteem highly of our selves and we are not of their opinion Bonaventure upon these words of Job as they are read according to the vulgar latine I have sinâ—â—d and transgressed truly and I have not received as I was worthy chap 33.27 saith many with their tongues speak ill of themselves and say that they are this and that but they beleeve not what they say for when others say the same yea an lesse then that they cannot indure it And these men when they speak ill of themselves say it nor with truth nor do they feel it so in their hearts as Job did when he said I have sinned and really transgressed and offended God and he hath not punished me according to my great demerit Job said this with truth of heart but these men saith Saint Gregory do humble themselves only in apparence and with the tongue Whereas in their heart they have no Humility They will needs seem to be humble whereas they have no mind to be so indeed for if in earnest they desired it they would not be offended so much when they were reprehended and admonished of any fault by others and they would not excuse themselves nor be troubled so much as we see they are Cassianus recounts that a certain religious man came once to visit the devout Father Serapion who in habit jesture and words seemed to be of great humility and contempt of himself and never made an end of speaking ill of himself and of saying that he was so great a sinner and so wicked a man that he was not worthy to breath in the common air nor to tread upon the earth and much lesse would he consent that they should wash his feet or do him any service Wise Serapion after he had dined began to treat of some spiritual things as he had been accustomed and applied also some little thing to his guest and gave him this good advice with great mildnes and love Namely that fince he was young and strong he should be careful to keep at home and labour with his hands for his food according to the rule of Saint Paul and not to go idly up and and down to the houses of others The young man was so much troubled at this admonition and advise that he could not possibly dissemble it but shewed it evidently by his countenance Then said Serapion what is this my son that till now you have been speaking so much ill of your self and so many things of dishon our and affront to you and that now upon an admonition so easie as this which contains no injury or affront at all but rather much love and charity you have been so much offended and altered that you could not hide it Did you hope perhaps by means of that ill which you said of your self to hear that sentence of the wiseman out of my mouth This man is just and humble since he speaks ill of himself Did you pretend that we should praise you and hold you for a Saint Ah saith Saint Gregory how many times is this that very thing to which we pretend by our hypocrisies and counterfeit Humilities but that which would fain seem humility is great pride For we humble our selves many times to the end that we may be praised by men beheld for humble and good And if you will not grant me this I must ask you why you say that of your self which you will not have others to beleeve If you speak it from your heart and if you walk in the way of truth you must desire that others may beleeve it too and may hold you for such as you said and if you desire not this you shew plainly that you pretend not thereby to be humbled but to be valued and esteemed This is that which the wiseman saith There are some who humble themselves after a counterfeit manner and their heart is full of deceit and pride For what greater deceit can there be then by means of humility to be honored and esteemed by men and what greater pride then to pretend to be held humble To pretend to the praise of humility is not saith Saint Bernard the vertue of humility but the perversion and subversion thereof For what greater perversion can there be then this What thing can be more unreasonable then to desire to seem to be the better for that for which you seem worse What things more unworthy absurd then to desire to seem good and to be held for such even for the ill which you have said of your self Saint Ambrose reprehending this saith thus Many have the apparence of Humility but yet they have not the vertue of humility many seem exteriorly to seek it but interiorly they contradict it This pride and inclination of ours to bâ— esteemed and valued is so great that we seek a thousand inventions and wayes how to compasse it Sometimes we do it directly and sometimes indirectly but we are ever procuring to bring the water to this mil. Saint Gregory saith that it is the property of proud men when they conceive themselves to have said or done any thing wel to desire such as saw or heard it to tel them the faults thereof their intention yet being to be praised They seem indeed to humble themselves exteriorly because they desire men to tell them their faults but this is no humility but pride for their designe thereby is to be praised At other times you shal have a
the honour of God and who steals those jewels which he esteems the most rich and of the greatest price and value and which indeed were set at so high a rate that he thought his own blood and life wel imployed upon the purchase thereof For this reason a certain holy Father being full of care and fear lest he should fall into pride was wont to say thus to God O Lord if thou give me any thing keep it for me who dare not trust my self with it for I am no better then a theef and am still running away with thy goods And now let us also walk on with the same fear since we have much more reason to be afraid and are far from being so humble as he was Let us not fall into this so dangerous pride let us not run away with those goods of God which he hath put with so much confidence into our hands Let no part thereof stick to us let us artribute nothing to our selves but return the whole back to God It was not without great mistery that Christ our Saviour when he appeared to his Disciples upon the day of his glorious Ascension reprov'd them first for their incredulity and hardnesse of heart and commanded them afterward to go and preach the Gospel throughout the whole world and gave them power to work many and mighty miracles For he gives us thereby to understand that he who is to be exalted to the doing of great things hath need to be humbled first and to be abased in himself and to have a true knowledge of his own faculties and miseries that so though afterward he come to great perfection he may yet remain still intire in the knowledge of himself and stick fast to the understanding of his own basenes without attributing any other thing to himself then unworthinesse Theodoret to this purpose notes that God resolving to chuse Moses for their Captain and conductor of his People and to work by his means such wondrous and admirable things as he resolved to let the world see thought fit for the cause aforesaid that first that very hand wherewith he was to divide the Red Sea and effect other things so very strange being first put into his bosome should be then drawn forth and seen by himself to be full of leprosie A second reason for which we stand in more particular necessity of Humility is to the end that we may gather fruit in those very ministeries wherein we are imployed so that Humility is necessary for us not only in regard of our own improvement lest otherwise we should grow vain and proud and so cast away our selves but besides for the gaining of our neighhours and the bringing forth fruit in their souls One of the most principal means towards this end is Humility and that we distrust our selves and that we rely not upon our own industry or prudence or other parts but that we place all our confidence in God and ascribe and refer all to him according to that of the wise man Put your confidence in God with your whole heart and rely not upon your own prudence And the reason hereof is as afterward I shall declare more at large because when through distrust of our selves we place all our confidence in God we ascribe it all to him and put the whole busines to his accompt whereby we oblige him much to take care thereof O Lord dispatch thine own busines the conversion of souls is thine and not ours alas what power can we have to save fouls But now when we are confident in the means we use and in the discourses which we are able to make we bring our selves to be parties to the busines and attribute much to our selves and all that we do we take from Almighty God They are like two balances for look how much the one rises so much the other will be sure to fall as much as we attribute to our selves so much we take from God and run away with the glory and honour which is only his and thus he comes to permit that no effect is wrought And I pray God that this be not sometimes the cause why we do our Neighbours no more good We read of many Preachers in former times and remember some of our own time who though they were not very learned men no nor very eloquent yet by their Preaching Catechising and private communications in an humble and low way have converted quickened inflamed and strengthened many of their flock not in the perswading words of humane wisdom but in the manifestation of spirit and truth as Saint Paul saith They were distrustfull of themselves and placed all their confidence in God and so God gave strength spirit to their words which seemed even to dâ—rt burning slames into the hearts of their hearers And now I know not whether the reason why we produce not at this day so great fruit be not because we stick much closer to the opinion of our own prudence because we rest and rely much upon our own means of perswasion and our learning and discourse and our polite and elegant manner of declaring our minds and we go gusting and delighting our selves much with our selves O well then saith God when you conceive that you have said the best thing and delivered the most convincing reasons and remain content and jolly with conceit that you have done great matters you shall then effect least of all And that shall be fulfilled in you which the Prophet Isay said give them a barren womb and dry breasts I will take order that thou shalt be a barren Mother and thou shalt have no more thereof but the name I will give you dry breasts such as no child shall hang upon nor any thing stick by them which thou sayest for this doth he deserve who will needs usurp the goods of God and attribute that to himself which is proper and only due to his divine Majesty I say not but whatsoever Men shall preach must be very well studied and considered but yet this is not all for it must also be very well wept upon and very well recommended to God and when you shall have made your head ake with studying it and ruminating upon it you must say We have but done what we ought and we are unprofitable servants what am I able to effect I have made a little noise of words like a peece which shoots powder without a bullet but if the heart be wounded it is thou O Lord who must do it The Kings heart is in Gods hand and he inclines it to whatsoever he will It is thou O Lord who art to move and wound the heart alas what are we able to do to them What proportion can our words all our humane means carry to an end so high and so supernaturall as it is to convert souls No such matter But how comes it then to passe that we are so vain and so well pleased with our selves when
him who made you loose eternal glory and deserve Hell for even him who wrought you so much hurt and still persists in doing it do you not think that you have cause to detest Well now this person is your self an opposite and enemy of God an opposite and enemy of your own salvation CHAP. X. That the knowledge of ones self doth not canse dismay but rather gives conrage and strength THere is another great benefit which grows from the exercise of knowing a mans self that not onely it causes no dismay or base fear as perhaps some might doubt but rather a great heart and courage towards all those things which are good And the reason of this is that when a man knows himself he sees that here is no colour why he should rely upon himself but that distrusting himself he must put all his confidence in God in whom he finds himself strong and able for all things Hence it is that these are the men who are apt to attempt and undertake great things and these are they who go through with them For in regard they ascribe all to God and nothing to themselves God takes the busines in hand and makes it his and holds it upon his own account and then he is wont to do mighty things and even wonders by the means of weak instruments To shew the riches and treasures of his mercies God will do wonderfull things by instruments who are miserable and weak He uses to put the treasures of his mercy into the poorest vessels for thus doth his glory shine most This is that which God said to St Paul when being even tired with temptations he cryed out and begged that he might be delivered from them and God made him this answer My grace shall be sufficient for thee how great soever thy temptations and miseries may be and then doth the power of God prove it self to be more strong and perfect when the weaknes and infirmity is more apparent For as the Physitian gains more honour when the sicknes which he cures is more dangerous so when there is more weaknes in us our delivery brings more glory to Gods arm and power and so doth Saint Augustine and Saint Ambrose expound this place So that when a man knows and distrusts himself and puts all his confidence in God then doth his Majesty come and help and when on the other side a man puts considence in himself and in his own diligences and means he is forsaken by Almighty God This saith Saint Basil is the cause why when we desire to make our prayers best and to have most devotion in certain principal times and occasions it sals out many times that we have lesse because we put our considence in our own means and in our own diligences and preparations And at other times we are prevented with great benedictions and sweetnes when we look for them least to the end that we may know that this is an effect of the grace and mercy of our Lord and of no diligence or merit of ours So that a mans knowing his misery and frailty causes no cowardise or dismay but rather gives courage and strength in regard that it makes him distrust himself and place all his confidence in God And this is also that which â—e Apostle saith When I am weak then am I strong 2 Cor. 12.10 That is when I am humbled then I am exalted For thus do hoth Saint Augustine and Saint Ambrose declare it When I humble and abase my self and know that I am good for nothing then am I exalted and raised up Whilst I know and see my infirmity and misery fastning my self upon God I find my self more strong and more ful of courage for he is all my confidence and strength Hereby you may understand that it is not Humility nor any thing which springs from thence when there com to us somtimes certain dismays and dejections concerning our little progress in grace and when we fear that we shal never obtain such or such a virtue and never overcom such an il condition or inclination or that we shal not be fit for this or that office and ministery in which we are or may be imployed This may seem to be humility but many times it is not so but rather springs from pride For such a one casts his eyes upon himself as if by his own strength and diligences he were to go through with that business wheras he ought to cast them upon God in whom we are to be ful of confidence and courage and say The Lord is my light and my salvation whom then shal I fear the Lord is the strength of my life of whom then shal I be afraid If whole armies shal rise against me my heart shal nor be afraid If they shal bid me battel yet wil I hope in God Psal 27. Though I walk in the midst of the very shadow of death and arrive even at the very gates of hel yet my heart shal not fear because thou O Lord art with me Psal 23. With what varietie of words doth the holy Prophet express the self same thing and indeed we have the Psalms ful of this to signifie the abundance of pious affections and of the confidence which he had and which we ought to have in God In my God I wil pass over a wal how high soever it may be Nothing shal be able to put it self between me and home God can conquer giants by grashoppers In my God I wil tread lions and dragons under my feet By the grace and favour of our Lord we shal be strong He teacheth my hands to fight and mine arms shal break even a bow of steel CHAP XI Of other great benefits and advantages which grow by the exercise of a mens knowledge of himself ONe of the principal means which for our parts we are able to imploy to the end that our Lord may shew us favour and communicate great graces and gifts to us is that we humble our selves and know our own frailty and misery And so said the Apostle St. Paul I wil gladly glory in my infirmities and weaknesses that so the power of Christ may dwel in me And St. Ambrose upon those words I am pleased in my infirmities saith If a Christian be to glory it is to be in his own povertie and miserie whereby he may increase and prosper in the sight of God St. Augustine brings that of the Prophet to this purpose Thou O God sentest a gracious rain upon thine inheritance and refreshedst it when it was weary When think you that God will give the voluntary and sweet rain of his gifts and graces to his inheritance which is the soul of man When the same soul shal understand her own infirmity and misery then wil he perfect it and the voluntary and sweet shower of his gifts and graces shal fal down upon it And as here amongst us the more our poor beggars discover their wretchednes and their sores to
rich and charitable men the more they move them to pity and the more aims they receive at their hands so the more a man knows and humbles himself and confesses his misery the more doth he invite and incline the mercy of God to take pitty and compassion on him and to communicate the gifts of his grace with the more abundance For he gives strength to the weak and to to them who are as if they were not but he multiplies courage and strength To declare in few words the great benefits and advantages of this exercise I say that the true knowledge of a mans self is the universal remedy of all inconveniences And so in the questions which we use to ask in spiritual conferences whence such or such a thing uses to grow what may be the remedy thereof we may in effect answer in them all that they proceed from want of a mans knowing himself and that the remedy thereof would be to know and humble himself as he ought For if you ask whence it grows that I judge of my Brethren I say from the want of knowing my self For if I would diligently watch over my self and duly examine mine own heart I should find so much for me to do and so many miseries to bewail that I would not mark the faults of others If you ask from whence it comes that sometimes I speak sharp and unmortified words to my Brethren that also grows from the want of knowing my self For if I knew my self well and held my self for the worst of the company and looked upon every other man as if he were my superior I should not be so bold as to use such language to them If you ask from whence grow those excuses and those complaints and those murmurings as why they do not give me this or that or why they treat me in such a fashion it is cleer that it rises from the same root If you ask from whence it comes that a man is so much troubled and dejected when he finds himself molested by variety of temptations or grows melancholy and is discouraged when he fals often into any defect this also grows from want of a mans knowing himself For if you were truly humble considered wel the malice of your hearts you would not be troubled or dismaid at this but you would rather be in wonder that you commit no worse things how you came not to have more dangerous faults and you would be giving great thanks and prais to God for holding you so fast in his hand that so you fall not into those things into which infallibly you would have fallen if he had nor held you up For from a very source and sink of vice what sin is that which would not flow From such a filthy dunghill what should we expect but an odious and abominable stink and from such a tree such fruit upon those words of the Prophet He remembreth that we are but dust Saint Anselme saith what wonder is it if dust be blown away by wind If also you desire a means whereby you may come to shew much charity towards your Brethren and that you may be obedient and patient and very penitent you may here find the remedy of all CHAP. XII How much it concerneth us to be exercised in the knowledge of our selves IT will appear by what is said how much it concerns us to be exercised in the knowledge of our selves Thales Male sius one of the seven wise men of Greece being asked which of all natural things was the hardest to be known made this answer A mans self Because the love which a man bears himself is so great that it distracts and hinders this knowledge and from hence grew that saying which was so much celebrated amongst the antients Nosce te ipsum know thy self And another said Tecum habita dwell with thy self But let us leave these strangers and come home to others of our own communion who are bettter masters of this science The blessed Saint Augustine and Saint Bernard say that the science of a mans knowing himself is the most profitable and most high that ever was invented or found Men saith Saint Augustine are wont to esteem much the knowledge of the Heavens and of the earth by Astrology and Cosmography and to know the motions of the skie and the course of the planets With their proprieties and influences but yet the knowledge of a mans self is the most high and profitable science of them all Other sciences blow a man and puffe him up as Saint Paul saith but we are humbled and edified by this And so the Fathers end all spiritual conductors do greatly charge us to imploy our selves in prayer upon this exercise and they reprove the error of some who passe too lightly over the consideration of their own delects and detain themselves in thinking upon other devout things because they find consolation in them but none in the consideration of their defects and faults because they take no pleasure in looking into themselves and in this they are like such as are deformed who because they are so dare not look upon themselves in a glasse Saint Bernard speaking to Man in the person of God saith thus O man if thou didst see and know thy self thou wouldest be displeasing to thy self and thou wouldest be pleasing to me but now because thou doest not see and know thy self thou art pleasing to thy self and art displeasing to me Take heed that there come not once a time when thou shalt neither be pleasing to God nor to thy self not to God because thou hast sinned nor to thy self because thou art damned by thy self through thine own fault Saint Gregory treating of this saith there are some who as soon as they begin to serve God and to take vertue a little into their consideration think presently that they are holy and good and do so place their eyes upon the good they do that they forget their miseries and sins past yea and sometimes their present sins too for they are so very busie about gazing upon the good they do that they attend not nay and see not the il which sometimes they commit But such as indeed are good and the elect of God proceed alter a very different manner For whereas indeed they are full of vertue and good works they are yet ever looking upon the ill they do and are considering and ruminating upon their in perfections and defects And we shall quickly see what become of both these kinds of men For they who are most considering their sins secure their good deeds and conserve the great vertues which they possesse remaining ever in Humility and on the contrary side those others who are looking so earnestly upon their good deeds loose them because they grow vain and proud thereof So that good men serve themselves of their very sins and draw good and spiritual profit from thence whereas ill men draw hurt and losse even from their
is in the law of the Lord who make it his delights entertainments for that man wil yeeld the fruit of good works like a tree which is planted by the River side CHAP. XVII Of some means for the obtaining of this second degree of Humility and particularly of the example of Christ our Lord. THey ordinarily use to assign two several wayes or means for the obtaining of moral vertues The one is of reasons and considerations which may convince and animate us thereunto and the other is exercise of the acts of that vertue whereby we may acquire the habits thereof To begin with the first kind of means one of the most principal and efficatious considerations whereof we may help our selves towards being humble or rather the most principal and most efficatious of them all is the example of Christ our Lord our Master and our Redeemer whereof though we have already said somewhat there will ever be enough to add The whole life of Christ our Lord was a most perfect Original of Humility from the very time of his birth to that other of his expiring upon the Crosse But yet to this purpose St Augustine doth particularly ponder the example which he gave us by washing the feet of his Disciples upon that Thursday of the last supper when he was even upon the very brim of his passion and death Christ our Lord saith Saint Augustine was not content with having given us the examples of his whole life past nor yet with them also which he was shortly to give in his passion the same being then so close at hand and wherein he was to appear according to the Prophet Isaiah the very last or lowest of men and as the royal Prophet David saith the very reproach and scorn of men yea the very outcast of the world But our Lord Jesus knowing that his hour was now at hand wherein he was to passe out of this World to his Father he carried a great love to his Disciples was resolved that he would expresse it now towards the end of his life And supper being ended he rises from the Table he puts off his upper garment he girds a towel to himself he puts water into a basen he prostrates himself at the feet of his Disciples yea and of Judas too he washes them with those divine hands of his and he wipes them with the towel wherewith he was girt O unspeakable mistery What is this O Lord which thou art doing saith the Apostle Saint Peter Thou O Lord to wash my feet The Disciples undestood not then what he did saith our Lord You understand not now what I am doing but yet ere long I will declare it to you He returns to the Table and declares the mistery thus at large You cal me Master and Lord and you say well for so I am If then I being your Master and your Lord have humbled my self and have washed your feet you are also to do the like to one another I have given you an example to the end that you may learn of me and do as I have done This is the mistery that you learn to humble your selves as I have humbled my self The importance of this vertue of humility is on the one side so great and so is the difficulty also on the other that our Lord was not content with so many examples as he had already given us and haâ—â— then so neer at hand to give but that as onâ— who wel knew our weaknes and who perfectly understood the malignity of that peccant humor wherof our nature was sick he would needs give us this strong Physick against it and put it amongst the chief Legacies of his last Will and Testament that so it might remain the more deeply imprinted in all our hearts Upon those words of Christ our Lord Learn of me for I am meek and humble of heart Saint Augustine exclaims thus O soveraign Doctrine O Master Lord of all men into whom death entred by means of pride what is it O Lord which thou wilt have us come and learn of thee That I am meek and humble of heart This is that which you are to learn of me In this are the treasures of the wisdom and knowledge of the Father summed up which have been hidden in thee that thou tell us for the highest point that we must come and learn of thee that Thou art meek and humble of heart it is so high and great a thing for a man to make himself little that unlesse thou who art so great hadst made thy self little no man could have learnt it of thee yea saith Saint Augustine so great and so hard a thing it is for a man to humble himself and make himself little that if God himself had not humbled himself and become little men would never have been brought to humble themselves For there is nothing so deeply conveyed into their very bowels and so incorporated as it were into their hearts as this desire of being honored and esteemed and therefore was all this necessary to the end that we might grow to be humble for such Physick did the infirmity of our pride require and such a wound such a cure But if such a receipt as this for God to have made himself man and to have humbled himself so much for our sakes will not recover us and cure our pride I know not saith Saint Augustine what will ever be able to do it If to see the Majesty of our Lord so abased and humbled will not suffice to make us ashamed of desiring to be honored and esteemed and that hereupon we yet will not grow to a thirst of being despised and abased with him and for the love of him I know not what will ever serve the turn Holy Guericus being amazed and convinced by the great example of our Lords humility exclaims and expresses that which it is reason that we should also say and draw from hence Thou hast overcome O Lord thou hast overcome my pride thine example hath bound me hand and foot behold I render and deliver up my self into thy hands for an everlasting slave It is also an admirable conceit which the glorious Saint Bernard brings to this purpose The Son of God saith he saw two creatures and both were generous noble and capable of that blessed state to which they had been created by Almighty God and they both lost themselves because they would needs be like him God created the Angels and instantly Lucifer had a mind to be like Almighty God And then he carried others after him and God cast them instantly down to Hell and so of Angels they became devils God also created man instantly the devil struck him with his own leaprosie and poyson They fell gluttonoully upon what he told them namely that they should be as God and then they broke the divine commandment and so became like the devil The Prophet Elisus said to his servant Giezi after he took the
inward peace of mind and that without it this cannot be had LEarn of me for I am meek and humble of heart and you shall find rest unto your souls One of the chief and most efficatious reasons which we can bring for the animating our selves to despise honor and to procure to be humbled is that which Christ our Redeemer propounds to us in these words namely that it is a most excellent means for the obtaining of interior quietnes and peace to the soul a thing so much desired by al spiritual men and which Saint Paul sets down for one of the fruits of the Holy Ghost Gal 5.22 But the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace c. That we may the better understand this quietnes and peace which the humble man enjoyes it will be well that we consider the disquiet and restlesnes which the proud man ever carries in his heart for one contrary is the better known by the other The holy scripture is full of sentences which declare that wicked men have not peace There is no peace saith the Lord unto the wicked Isa 48.22 For they have healed the hurt of the Daughter of my People slightly saying peace peace when there is no peace Jer 8.11 Wasting and destruction are in their paths Isa 59.7 8. The way of peace they know not They know not what kind of thing peace is and though sometimes they may exteriorly seem to have peace yet that is not true peace for there within in their very heart they have a War which their conscience is ever making against them Behold for peace I had great bitternesse Isa 38.17 Wicked men ever live with bitternesse and sadnes of heart But proud men are subject after a particular manner to great unquietnes and want of peace And the expresse reason here of we may very well collect out of Saint Augustine who saith that instantly envy grows out of pride whose Daughter it is and that it is never to be so und without the company of this hateful issue Which two sins of pride and envy make the devil to be that very devil which he is Now then by this we may understand what mischief these two sins are likely to work in the heart of man since they are bad enough to make the devil a devil He who on the one side shal be ful of pride and of the desire of honor and estimation and sees that things succeeds not according to his design and on the other side is also full of envy which is the Daughter of pride and is ever in company thereof when he shall see that others are more esteemed and preferred before him wil certainly be full of bitternes and restlesnes for there is nothing which so wounds the poor man nor reaches so near to his very heart as those things aforesaid The holy Scripture paints this unto us to the life in the person of that proud Aman. He was the favourite of King Asuerus above al the Princes Grandes of his Dominions He had a great aboundance of temporal goods and riches and was so highly valued and esteemed by all that now it seemed that there was nothing left for him to desire And yet neverthelesse it gave him so great pain that one single man and he a mean person who sat usually at the gate of the Pallace made no reckoning of him nor did him reverence nor rose up nor stirred from his place whilst he was passing by that he esteemed nor all the possessed at a rush in comparison of the distemper and pain to which he was put thereby This himself confessed by way of complaint to his Wife and freinds whilst in discourse he was speaking to them of his prosperity and power otherwise Est 5.13 Yet all this availeth me nothing so long as I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the Kings gate That so we may see the restlesnesse of a proud man and the high waves and storms which tosse his heart According to that of the Prophet The wicked are like the troubled Sea when it cannot rest Isac 57.20 Like a Sea which is angry and fierce so high goes the heart of a proud and wicked man And now the rage which grew in the heart of Aman upon that occasion was so great that he disdained to lay hold upon Mardochaeus who was but a poor particular man unlesse knowing him to be a Jew by Nation he might also procure warrants from the King by Vertue whereof all that race of men who were to be found in his Dominions might be put to death He commanded also a very high gibet to be erected in a Court of his own house whereupon he meant that Mardochaeus should be hanged But his dream fell out far otherwise and the Jews proved to be the men who executed upon their enemies the sentence which had been given against them and Aman himself was hanged upon the very gallows which he had prepared for Mardocheus But first there happened a sound mortification to him and it was this He going one morning very early to the Court in order to the revenge which he had designed and to obtain a Warrant from the King for the executing thereof it hapned that the night before the King not having been able to fleep commanded them to bring the History and Chronicles of his Times and when by course of reading they were come to those particulars of what Mardocheus had done in service of the King by discovery of a certain treason which some of his own servants had plotted against him he inquired what reward had been given that man for that service and they told him none at all The King then asked who was without and whether yet men were come to make their Court. They told him that Aman was there and so he was bidden to enter The King then asked him this question What will it be fit to do for that man to whom the King desires to do honor Now Aman conceiving that himself was to be the man to whom that honor was to be done made this answer The man whom the King desires to honor should be clad in the Kings Princely robes and set upon the Kings own Horse with the Crown Royal upon his head and one of the prime men of the Court should go before him leading the Horse in his hand and proclaiming thus in the publique places of the City Thus is he to be honored whom the King will honor Well then said the King go thou to that Mardochoeus who keeps about the Court gate and do al that to him which thou hast said to me and besure thou faile in no one circumstance Think now what wound of anguish that wicked and proud heart would feel but in fine he durst not fail in executing the Order to a hair It seemed to be beyond imagination to think of a greater mortification then this was for him but yet instantly after followed that other of his being hanged upon that
very gibbet which he had caused to be provided for Mardochaeus This is the pay which the world is wont to give to such as serve it And now let us consider from whence al this catastrophe grew Because forsooth Mardochaeus would not rise up and do him reverence when he passed by For such a foolery as this is able to keep proud men so unquiet and restles that they shall ever be wounded by it and made sad at the heart And so we see it at this day in worldly men and so much more do we see it as the men are in more eminent place For al such things as these are as so many needles points to them which gall and transpeirce them from side to side nor is there any sharper launce which they can feel nor do they ever want their part of this how much soever they are extolled and whatsoever they possesse but they ever have their hearts as bitter as gall and they ever walk up and down the World with perpetual unquietnes and want of rest From hence we may understand another particular which we experiment very often namely that although it be true that there is a sicknes of melancholy yet many times it happens that a mans being melancholy and sad is not the humor of melancholy or any corporal infirmitie but it is the very humor of pride which is a sicknes of the soul You are melancholy and sad because you are forgotten and cast aside into some corner and because they make no account of you You are melancholy and sad because you performed not such or such a thing with so much credit and reputation as you fancied to your self but rather you conceive that you are disgraced The busines proved not as you desired that Sermon that disputation those conclusions but you rather think that you have lost opinion and credit by it and therefore you are melancholy and sad yea and when you are to do any of these publique things the-very fear of the successe and whether you shal gain or loose honour by it makes you afflicted and greived These are some of those things which make the prond man melancholy and sad But now the humble of heart who desire no honour or estimation and contents himself with a mean place is free from all this restlesness and disquiet and enjoyes great peace according to the words of Christ our Lord from whom that Saint took this saying of his If there be peace in this World the humble of heart possesses it And therefore though there were no way of spirit or perfection to be looked after but only our own interest and the keeping our hearts in peace and quietnes even for this and this alone we were to procure humility for thus we should come to live whereas the other is but to lead a kind of dying life Saint Augustine to this purpose recounts a certain thing of himself whereby he saith that our Lord gave him to understand the blindnes and misery wherein he was As I went one day saith he full of affliction and care in thought of a certain Oration which I was to recite before the Emperor in his praise whereof the greatest part was to be false and my self procuring to be praised for my pains even by them who knew that it would be false that men may see how far the vanity and folly and madnes of the World extends it self as I went I say with much thought hereof and was full of trouble and care how the busines might succeed and having as it were even a kind of feaver upon me of consuming thoughts it hapned that in one of the streets of Milan there was a poor beggar who after he had gotten wel to eat and drink was playing tricks and taking his pleasure and in fine was very merry and jolly But when I saw this I fel to sigh and represent to my friends who were present there to what misery our madnes hath made us subject Since in all our troubles and namely in those wherein we found our selves at that time carrying a great burthen of infelicity upon our backs and being wounded with the vexation of a thousand inordinate appetites and daily adding one burthen to another we did not so much as procure to seek any other thing than only some secure kind of contentment and joy wherein that poor beggar had out-stripped us already who perhaps should never be able to overtake him therein For that which he had now obtained by means of a little alms namely the joy of temporal felicity I still went seeking and hunting out with so much solicitude and care It is true saith Saint Augustine that the poor man had no true joy but it is also true that the contentment which I sought was more false then this and in fine he then was merry and I said he was secure and I ful of cares and fears And if any man should ask me now whether I had rather be glad or grieved I should quickly make answer that I had rather be glad and if he should ask me yet again whether I had rather be that beggar or my self I should then rather choose to be my self though I were then ful of afflictions but yet for ought I know I should have no reason to make this choise For I ask what cause I can alledge For my being more learned gave me then no contentment at all but only desired to give contentment to others by my knowledge and yet that not by way of instructing them but without doubt saith he that poor man was more happy then I not only because he was merry and jolly when I was full of cogirations and cares which drew even my very bowels out of my body but because he had gotten his Wine by lawful means whereas I was hunting after vain glory by the way of telling lies CHAP. XXII Of another kind of means more efficatious for the obtaining the vertue of Humility which is the exercise thereof WE have already spoken of the first kind of means which are usually assigned for the obtaining of vertue which is certain reasons and considerations both divine and humane But yet the inclination which we have to this vice of pride is so very great by reason that the desire of Divinity Eritis sicut dii remains so rooted in our hearts from our first parents that no considerations at all are sufficient to make us take our last leave of the impulse and edge which we have to be honored and esteemed It seems that that happens to us herein which ours to others who are full of fear For how many reasons soever you give to perswade such persons that they have no cause to fear such or such a thing they yet make this answer I see well that all you say is true and I would fain not fear but yet I cannot obtain it of my self For just so some say in our case I well perceive that al those reasons which you
and meanly clad that so they may be valued the lesle and especially because they conceive themselves to find much help therein towards the conservation and augmentation in true humility Amongst all the exteriour humiliations that of poor and mean cloathing is one of the chief and for this we find it to have been so much used by such as are truly humble It will also appear by another reason that towards the purchase of humility of heart or any other interiour vertue the exteriour exercise of the same vertue doth profit much because the vvil is much more moved thereby then by bare desires For it is cleer that present object moves us more then the absent as vve see that vve are moved more by seeing things then by hearing of them and from hence the Proverb came That which the eyes see not the heart rues not So that the exteriour thing vvhich is put in practise moves the vvill much more because the object is there present then meer apprehensions and interiour desires do vvhere the object is not present but only in the conceit and imagination One great affront vvel endured with a good Will shall breed more of the vertue of patience in your soul then four affronts will do when you have but the only desire without the deed And the spending of one day in exercising some mean and low Office and the wearing some poor and mean apparel some one day will help your soul more to the vertue of Humility then many days of meer desires will do We have experience every day that a man hath repugnance to perform one of the ordinary mortifications which we use and within two or three dayes after he hath begun to do them he finds no difficulty therein at all and yet before he did them he had conceived many purposes and desires thereof and yet still they were not strong enough to overcome the difficulty And to this we may add that which is said by the School Divines that when the interiour act is accompanied by the exteriour it is commonly more efficatious and intense So that it helps much in all respects towards the obtaining of the vertue of humility to imploy our selves exteriourly about objects which are mean and base And because vertue is conserved and augmented by the same means whereby it is obtained therefore as the exteriour exercise of Humility is necessary for the obtaining the vertue of Humility it will also be necessary for the custody and increase thereof whereupon it will follow that this exercise is very important for all not only for beginners but for others also who are great proficients as we also said when we were treating of mortification For it is a good rule that is given by one in these words It will greatly help that We perform those offices with all possible devotion wherein Humility and charity are exercised most And in another place he saith Temptations are to be prevented by their contraries as when there is opinion that such a one is inclined to pride he must be exercised in such mean things as may be likely to help him towards Humility and so in other ill inclinations And yet in another place As for mean and base imployments men ought readily to accept of those wherein they find most repugnance whensoever they shall be so ordained So that finally I say that these two things Humility and Humiliation must help one another and from the interiour humility which consists in despising himself and desiring to be held by others in small account exteriour humiliation is to grow that the man may exteriourly shew himself to be the same that interiourly he took himself to be Namely that as the humble man is interiourly contemptible in his own eyes and holds himself to be unworthy of all honor so he must treat himself also exteriourly that the exteriour works which he performs may visibly declare the interiour humility which is in his heart Choose you the lowest place as Christ our Lord advised despise not to treat with Persons who are poor and mean be glad of the most inferiour imployments and this very exteriour humiliation which springs from the interiour will give increase to that very Pountain also from which it springs CHAP. XXIII That we must take heed of speaking any such words as may redound to our own praise THe Saints and Masters of spiritual life Saint Basil Saint Gregory Saint Bernard and others also advise us to take heed with great care of speaking any words which may redound to our own estimation or praise according to that which the holy Tobias counselled his Son Never suffer pride to have dominion either over thy heart or over thy words Saint Bernard ponders that of Saint Paul very well to this purpose But now I forbear lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be or that he heareth of me The Apostle had formerly spoken great things of humself and so it was fit at that time that he should do for the good of hearers and for the greater glory of God and he might yet have said greater things since he had been rapt up into the third Heaven where he had seen and understood more then the tongue could speak but I forbear saith he to speak thereof lest otherwise any man should think more then he sees and hears of me Saint Bernard saith O how well he said I forbear that for this time The proud or arrogant man forbears not such things for he suffers no occasion to passe wherein he may magnifie himself yea and sometimes he adds and saith more then is that so he may be esteemed the more Onely the man who is truly humble le ts these occasions passe and to the end he may be sure that they shal not ascribe more to him then that which is true he conceals that which is true The Saint descends more particularly into this subject and saith you must not say any thing whereby you may seem more learned or to be a man of piety prayer And generally you must take heed of saying any thing which may redound in any kind to your own praise for it is very dangerous though you could say it with much truth and though it may be matter of edification and though you may think it to be a good end and for the profit of another yet it suffices that it is to your own praise to keep you from speaking it You must ever walk with great care concerning this lest otherwise by this means you loose the good which perhaps you did Boniventure saith you must never speak Word which may give others to understand that you have eminent parts or that you were formerly of some account in the World It looks very ill favouredly in a religious man to value himself by the Nobility and riches of his friends for all these pedegrees and states are no better then a little Wind and as one asked do you know for
he held for a publique sinner was better than he And so Aquinus sets this down for one of the twelve degrees of Humility To say and think of himself that he is the worst man of the whole World It is not enough to say so with the tongue but it must be felt with the very heart Think not that thou hast profited at all if thou hold not thy sel for the vvorst of men CHAP. XXX How good and holy men may with truth esteem themselves lesse then others yea and affirm themselves to be the greatest sinners of the world IT will not be matter of curiosity but of much profit to declare how good and holy men may with truth esteem themselves esse then all and also affirm that they are the greatest sinners of the whole world For we have said that we must procure to arrive thus far Some of the Saints refuse to answer the question how this may be and content themselves with beleeving of themselves that they are so in their hearts Saint Dorotheus relates that the holy Hosimus being one day speaking of Humility saying so of himself a certain Philosopher was there who asked him how he could hold himself to be so great a sinner since he knew himself to live so uprightly and holily To which the holy man made this answer I say that this which I have said is true and that I speak as I think and therefore ask me no more questions But Saint Augustine Aquinas and other Saints give an answer to this question and they do it divers wayes That of Saint Augustine and Aquinas is that a man placing his eyes upon his own defects and considering in his Neighbours the secret gifts which he hath or at least may have of God every one may with truth affirm of himself that he is the vilest and greatest sinner of the whole World for he knows his own defects and know not another mans graces or gifts Obut say you I see that he commits many sins which I commit not But yet how do you know what God hath wrought in his heart since that time In a moment may God have secretly imparted some gist and favour to that man which may have made him excell you as it hapned to that Pharise and that Publican of the Gospel who went into the Temple to pray Verily I say to you said Christ our Lord that the Publican who was held for so wicked returned justified out of the Temple and the Pharise who was held for good went out condemned This alone might serve to fright us and to make us not presume I say not to prefer our selves before but even not to compare our selves with any and to make us keep our selves in the lowest place of all which certainly is most secure And for him who is truly humble and from the heart it is a most easie thing to hold himself in the lowest and least account of all others For the truly humble man considers in other men the goodnes and vertue which they have and in himself he observes but his own defects and he is so busie and earnest about the knowledg and redresse therof that he hath no leisure to lift up his eyes towards the faults of others as conceiving himself to have enough of his own to lament and so he holds all other men for good and himself for wicked And by how much the more holy any man is so much the more easie is this to him for after the rate or the increase of his other vertues the knowing despising and humbling himself doth also encrease for all these things go together And still the more light he hath from Heaven and the more knovvledg of the goodness and Majesty of Almighty God the more profound understanding vvill he come to have of his ovvn misery and of his nothing because Abyssus abyssum invocat Psal 42.9 That depth of the knovvledg of the goodness and greatnes of God cals up and discovers that other profound depth of our misery and makes us able to discern the infinite little moats and grains of dust of our imperfections And if we hold our selves in any account it is certainly because we have smal knowledg of God and little light from Heaven The beams of the sun of Justice have not yet entred in by our window and so vve do not onely not see the moats which are our lesse defects and imperfections but we are so short sighted or rather indeed so very blind that vve scarce discern our greater sins To this it may be added that God loves humility in us so much and it is so very pleasing to him that vve should hold our selves in no account and conserve our selves therin that in order to this end he is wont many times in the case of his great servants to vvhom he imparts many high benefits and savours to disguise his gifts and to communicate them in such a secret and strange manner that even the man himself who receives them doth not throughly comprehend them and thinks they are nothing Saint Hierome saith All that beakty of the Tabernacle vvas covered vvith the skins of Beasts And so useth God to conceal and cover the beauty of mens vertues and of his ovvn graees and benefits by permitting variety of temptations yea and sometimes of some errors and im perfections that so they may be the more safely conserved as burning Coals under ashes might be Saint John Climacus saith that as the Devil procures to lay our vertues and good vvorks before our eys that so vve may grovv proud because he desires our ruine so on the contrary side our Lord God because he desires our greater good gives more particular light to his servants that so they may see their ovvn faults and imperfections and he covers and disguises his gists and graces to them that even the man himself who receives them may not be able expresly to understand them And this is the common Doctrine of the Saints Saint Bernard saith To conserve Humility in the servants of God his divine goodness disposes things in such fort as that the more a man profits the lesse he conceives himself to profit and when he is arrived to the highest degree of vertue Almighty God permits him to be subject to some such imperfection as concerns the first degree to the end that he may conceive himself not to have fully obtained so much as that and of the same doth Saint Gregory speak in many places For this do some very well compare Humility and say that it respects other vertues as the Sun doth other Stars and that for this reason as when the Sun appears other Stars lye hidden and are concealed so when Humility is in the soul other vertues are not seen and the humble man conceives that he hath no solid vertue at all Saint Gregory saith Their vertues being manifest to all men only themselves see them not The holy Scripture recounts of Moses that when he came
pride and they have it so rooted and even wrought into the most intimous part of the heart that they themselves understand it not but are so wel pleased and confident of themselves as to think that God and they are al one As it happened to St. Peter the Apostle who conceived not that those words of his had flowed from pride when he said Though al men shal be offended because of thee yet wil I never be offended Matt. 26.33 but he thought that it had been courage in him and an extraordinary love which he carried to his Master Therefore to cure such pride as this which lyes so close and is so disguised as that a man is already faln though himself perceive it not our Lord permits somtimes that such persons fal into certain manifest exterior carnal filthy sins to the end that so they may know themselves better and look more exactly into their souls and may so com to perceive their pride which they beleeved not to be in them before and whereof they look for no remedy and would so have com to perish but now by means of such gross fals they know it and being humbled now in the sight of God they repent both for the one and the other and so meet with remedy for both their miseries at once as we see St. Peter did who by that visible and apparent fal of his came to know that pride which lay so secretly within and he grew to lament it and to repent for them both and thus was his fal good for him The same hapned also to David Psal 119.71 who therefore saith O Lord it hath cost me dear I confess it but yet upon the whole matter it hath been good for me that I have been humbled that so hereafter I may learn to serve thee and know how to abase my self as I ought And as the wise Physitian when he is not able to cure the malady out right and when the peccant humor is so rebellious and maligne that he cannot make nature digest and overcom it procures to cal and draw it into the exterior parts of the body that so it may be the better cured just so for the cure of certain haughty and rebellious souls doth our Lord permit them to fal into grievous and exterior sins to the end that they may know and humble themselves and by means of that abasement which appears without the maligne and pestilent humor may be also cured which lay close within And this is a work vvhich God vvorks in Israel vvhich vvhosoever coms to hear his very ears shal even tingle for meer fear these I say are those great punishments of God the onely hearing vvhereof is able to make men tremble from head to foot But yet our Lord vvho is so ful of benignity and mercy doth never imploy this forigorous punishment nor this so lamentable and unhappy remedy but after having used other means which were most gentle and sweet He first sends us other occasions and other more gentle inducements that so we may humble our selves Sometimes sicknesse sometimes a contradiction sometimes a murmuration and sometimes a dishonour when a man is brought lower then he thought But when these temporall things will not serve the turn to humble us he passes on to the spirituall and first to things of lesse moment and afterward by permitting fierce and grievous temptations such as may bring us so within a hairs breadth and even perswade us or at least make us doubt whether we consented or no. That so a man may see and find by good experience that he cannot overcome them by himself but may experimentally understand his own misery and the precise need which he hath of help from heaven and so may come to distrust his own strength and may humble himself And when all this will not serve then comes that other so violent and so costly cure of suffering a man to fall into hainous sin and to be subdued by the temptation Then comes this Cautery which is made even by the very fire of hell to the end that after a man hath even as it were beaten out his brains he may fall at length upon the just examination and knowledge of what he is and may at length be content to humble himself by this means since he would not be brought to do it by any other By this time I hope we see well how mightily it imports us to be humble and not to confide or presume upon our selves and therefore let every one enter into account with his own heart and consider what profit he reaps by those occasions which God dayly sends for the making him humble in the quality of a tender-hearted Physician and of a father that so there may be no need of those other which are so violent Chastise me O Lord with the chastisement of a Father cure thou my pride with afflictions diseases dishonours and affronts and with as many humiliations as thou art pleased to send but suffer not O Lord that I should ever fall into deliberate and wilful sin O Lord let the Devil have power to touch me in point of honour and in my health and let him make another Job of me but permit not that he may ever touch my soul Upon condition that thou O Lord never part from me nor permit me ever to part from thee whatsoever tribulation may comâ— upon me shall be sure to do me no hurt but it shall rather turn to my good towards the obtaining of Humility which is so acceptable to thee Grant this O Lord for Jesus Christs sake our onely Saviour and Redeemer Amen FINIS A Prayer against PRIDE UNderstanding O my blessed Lord how displeasing pride is unto thee and how thou hatest self-conceit if I had indeed any understanding as I ought the consideration thereof would sufficiently perswade me that I should not onely dislike but abhorre it as a mortal and damnable thing since thou O Lord dost so abhor it that the Angels whom thou createdst with so many perfections and adornedst with such be auties gifts giving them the possession of thy inwardest heaven yet for this sin onely didst thou banish them thence into the infernal pit where they suffer the condigne punishment of their hainous offence and from that time till this present and from this time for ever to come the proud thou alwayes hast and ever wilt abhorre and they are they on whom it seems thou delightest to shew the power of thy mighty Arm humbling them casting them down and making them equal with the earth that they may understand themselves and not dare to lift up their heads against thee Thou abhorrest Pride in bodily strength as thou declaredst in Goliah giving him over into the hands of a young tender Lad as was David Thou detestest it in self-conceit and estimation as thou she wedst in abasing Haman making him serve for Page cryer of Mordecas's vertues whom he sought to destroy It
is abominable to thee in them who have it through opinion of their own excellent beauty so as had Absalom whom thou sufferedst to be hanged up by the hair of which he went so proud It is detestable to thee in them who lift up themselves by reason of their great Riches and Dominions as did Nebuchadnezzar whom therefore thou dravest out to live feed among bruit Beasts It is odious to thee in them who are opinionated of their own wisdome as was manifested in Achitophel whom thou sufferedst to become his own executioner by a shamefull death because his counsell was not followed Thou hatest it in words thou hatest it in Vertue and Goodnesse it self knowing it to be the moth and canker thereof as thou taughtest us in the presumptuous Pharisee sending him away despised and rejected onely because he vaunted before thee his own worth and set forth his own Praises And therefore did thy servant Tobit counsel Let not Pride entet at any time into thy understanding nor into any thing thou thinkest sayest or doest To consider this O Lord by so many examples evinced that Pride is so much abominable to thee and so surely and sharply punished in them in whom thou findest it were more then sufficient if I had not lesse then no understanding to breed an abhorring of it in my heart and an utter restraint thereof not onely in deeds and words but the inwardest thoughts of my heart For though I were Valiant yet should I not be like Goliah if I had Command yet it would be much less then Holophernes though a Favourite yet could I not match Haman and also if I might passe others yet how far must I fall short of Absalom in Beauty in Majesty and Power of Nebuchadnezzar in Wisdome of Achitophel in Holiness and all other Excellency of the Angels before their fall and yet all these in their several kinds wherein their hearts were lifte up were by thee brought down to the lowest of shame and confusion and to the height of misery and calamity to the proportion of their Pride and vanity But if to this I shall add the consideration of mine own frame and the condition of the things themselves for which I am lifted up in mine own conceit either I must leave all Pride or else clean quit all claim to the Understanding of a man For my being is but earth and a clod thereof so frail so poor and beggarly that I can neither cloath my self without stripping others nor maintain mine own without taking the lives from Birds Beasts or Fishes Nor can I breath without air nor see without light nor hear without sound nor live at all without the help of thy meanest creatures And besides all this so encompassed with necessity so environed with wants of hunger of thirst of sleep so tired with labour so beset with dangers so overwhelmed with miseries as if I rightly take the estimate of my self I must adjudge my self of all thy other works the most wretched and contemptible And what alas if I truly weigh them are those things which make me swel but lighter and less worth then vanity it self Every injury of weather distempers my health the lightest sickness abates my strength the least pains overthrow my contents but a few hours want of sustenance enfeebles me a few dayes kils me Riches slip away like water from between my fingers and if not rightly used they a here to sorrows and increase torments here after in Hel. Honour vanisheth like smoak Nobility is baseness except it be set in virtue Applause of the world passeth like a dream in them that give and take it Favour of Princes lasteth no longer then themselves and they perish when they least think it Friendship is flattery and private Interest Love is unsound in substance â—and fickle in durance Wisdome is folly and Learning is weariness And if the account be right cast our Knowledge amounts to no more then what we do So that on all hands if I rightly consider there is no ground but for Humility no colour but for Lowliness and in their several kinds all things cry out that I have in me infinite matter of confusion and shame nothing at all to glory or prise my self for onely my folly which as I am is more then all the rest in me the cause to puff me up That it is and onely that that makes me lofty presumptuous self-conceited vain Lord heal me of this frenzy and restore me again to a right understanding that with that Humility of spirit which I ought I may henceforth serve thee esteeming my self of all others the least towards thee nothing Amen FINIS