us which would bring us more joy joy us more then our hearts are able to hold then we are any of us able to think or to conceive 33. O Lord thou knowest that I would not have all that I would have but the heart of my desires yea the desires of my heart are to have only only to have that which is in thy heart to have me to have 34. Let O Lord I humbly beseech thee my thoughts heart and affections be alwayes loaden with the loaves of thy love 35. Let my soul alwayes be resatiated with thy love and kindnesse even with thy loving kindnesse O Lord. 36. O God in Jesus Christ let thy former mercyes alwayes glad my heart when it shall either droop or faint I most humbly beseech thee 37. Let me not Ah let me not wander from thee nor thy precepts O Lord who keepest this close unto me 38. Let thy Commandements be as a Chaine of Gold about my neck and as Bracelets of Pearls on my arms 39. Let O Lord God thy whole law which is holy be written on my heart with the singer of thy holy and blessed spirit and grant through thy grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ that I may never depart from them but alwayes and ever delight in them much more then on my daily food which thou hast appointed and ordained to feed this temporal life 40. Let thy word O God be as yea be the hony comb to the spiritual tast of my soul and resatiate and solace it as with marrow and fatness and comfort and glad it as wine on the lees yea as wine well refined on the Lees. 41. Ah Lord God cause my soul alwayes feelingly and rejoycingly to say I have none in Heaven but thee nor on all the earth in comparison of thee my Jesus and my Christ and let the Corne Wine and Oyle which are the riches honours and pleasures of the world be as durt dung and dross in comparison of it 42. Ah Lord God what is man sinful man wretched blind despicable poor man that thou art thus mindful of him and the Son of man that thou should'st thus regard him delight in him and set thy heart upon him to do him good yea to do him all the good that is in thy heart and to make him that is his heart according to thine own heart 43. Ah wonder of Wonders that such a God should thus condescend to love such a man nothing man man that is nothing but evil all evil yea and continually all evil for there is none good but thee O God O none no not one 44. Bow down O Lord bow down my heart unto the obedience of thy Laws and lift it up to rejoyce in the obedience of thy Commandments to keep them and do them for in the keeping of them there is life yea eternal and everlasting life 45. Banish O Lord I most humbly and earnestly beseech thee out of my heart and thoughts the love and the liking unto any other Love besides thee and thy Love 46. And grant that with the heart of my heart I may serve thee in truth of heart unfainedly all the daies and moments of my life that I may long after no other thing and that thy fear may be my daily food 47. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee to give out thy self unto me that I may give up my self unto thee 48. Give O Lord give thy self unto me that I may for ever give my self to thee to live ever to thee and for thee as I desire ever to live in thee and with thee 49. Thou knowest O Lord my God that I desire not what I do desire unlesse it be conformable to thy desires so that my desires are not mine but thine not mine own but thine own yea thine all all thine 50. I would not have O Lord God thou knowest right well what I would have but what I should that what thou wilt have me to have what thou hast appointed me to have Ah let me have that only that all all that 51. I know that all that thou givest us whether graces or gifts thou wilt have an account of we shall account with thee for 52. Ah let me no longer nor no more have this woe and grief of heart to have received much and done little and to ask much for my self but to do little Ah little for thee 53. Suffer me not O Lord never to think or do that in secret which I would not which I should not do openly and let me O Lord Ah let me much more fear thine all seeing eies than all the seeing eies of Angels and men 54. How we are to desire and believe that we receive the Lord in the Sacrament of his blessed Supper and the assurance thereof to our Souls to comfort glad and rejoyce them 55. Ah Lord God as for me as for me Ah Lord God the food my Soul desireth at thy Table and Supper that which resatiateth feedeth fileth and refresheth it is the sweet breath and most divine and delitious breathings of thy divine and most holy Spirit into my heart and soul and all the affections and faculties thereof to warm and heat them to ascertain and assure my heart of thy Love and living in it which thou dost O Lord by sanctifying it the will the mind the memory the desires and all the affections and faculties thereof and by making it and them more not only to desire but to perceive see feel and certainly to know its growth and growing more and more in conformity and likenesse to thee O God in Christ by loving delighting choosing imbraceing and rejoyciâ—g in thy Laws waies word will and Commandments I do not blessed O Lord be thy name as do the Papists suppose or believe that I eat thy flesh and drink thy blood as thou wert when thou wert here on Earth in the flesh on the Crosse for I know that the Spirit must be fed with spiritual food spiritually the food of the body cannot resatiate or satisfie the Soul and that Soul that hath thus tasted and fed on thee Spiritually will assuredly hunger for this blessed heavenly food of thy holy heavenly blessed most blessed Spirit even for the breathings of this thy Spirit for the joyes and ravishments which they enjoy that enjoy and are filled with this this Spirit for the peace tranquility serenity and comfort of thy Spirit for the life and living of thy Spirit to please delight fill full satisfie and resatiate the appetite of the Soul even as the body hungreth and desireth rejoyceth and delighteth in food to please its fleshly appetite what if we could or did O Lord eat thy very body and blood that would not fill or feed our Souls which are not fed with meat and drink corporally but spiritually and what matters it O Lord as for me I care not what I eat or drink as to the outward man so I may eat and drink by faith in the Spirit and
look upward or to hope or to think or to believe this is the nature of sin and of the man that is in sin to be heavy dull faint coward swallowing down and giving it self up unto all fears horribly ashamed and confounded being darknesse even black thick darknesse darknesse it self and miserable ignorance which I take to be the greatest and sorest evil of all to be deprived of this heavenly flower of this heavens beauty of knowledge to see and know our blessed estates of being in God and Gods being in us which is perfect full whole and entire blessednesse therefore the contrary ignorance black thick ignorance must needs be the contrary the puddle the filth and excrement of Hell in it self as it were entire full whole compleat and perfect cursednesse and misery 123. Ah Lord God how great how transcendent magnificent wonderfully exceeding and unspeakably great is thy bountiful goodnesse in giving and forgiving what thou givest and forgivest especially unto me despicable poor vile me the first chiefest and greatest of all sinners and the very worst of the worst of all men how Ah how my Soul doth desire unfaignedly at this time to prize and praise thee I know that thou knowest And Ah that I could tell and shew forth how and what thou hast at this very time done for me in opening mine eies to see and know and comprehend in some measure and understand what it is to be in thee to partake of thee and to be swallowed up into thee in a little though very little dark measure to know thee but clearly to see feel and know that I am comprehended of thee that is that thou art mine and that I am thine Ah Lord suffer not I beseech thee that the ignorance which I am sure that sin brings with it take away from me this glorious portion of knowledg to know and feel and see my self in thee and that thou art and all thine mine Ah Lord let this light of thine which is thy self alwaies shine in me that by it I may be kept from the black thick darknesse of sin ignorance and errour and that I may not hence forth walk in those waies which lead unto such deep destruction as to eclypse weaken darken much lesse put out or destroy this glorious beam of thy most glorious light which through thy free most free grace and mercy in Jesus Christ thou hast at this time caused so brightly clearly transparently and fully to shine upon me Ah Lord let this glorious Light of thine alwaies continue in me that I may alwaies see my self in thee and thee in me and know thee to be mine and that I am thine that thereby I may be inabled to tell of and to set forth thy praises and that thou art such a God as thou art and to be desired and sought after only being only the desirable and the desired And grant that the remembrance of this thy Love and gratious dealing with me at this time may never be forgotten by me not slip out of my mind but that I may alwaies have it in remembrance that it may be as a strong Tower and bulwark against all and every temptation that shall at any time fall upon me and that hereby I may be made more and more able to resist every lust and sin whether in thought word or deed to hate it and flye from it as the greatest of all evils as the fire of Hell and the worm of Conscience esteeming it the very worst of the worst of the Devil Let it I most humbly beseeth thee O our Father in Jesus Christ strengthen and augment my resolution and hatred against all and every sin as well against the least of all as the very greatest of all that I may more and more see all sin to be exceeding sinful the bane ruine destruction and destroyer of all good blessednesse and happinesse Ah Lord hear me and answer me in Jesus Christ and continue thus gratiously to go along with me to be alwaies by me and to watch over me that no evil at any time either in thought word or deed overtake me or come nigh me to hurt me to the end I may walk before thee with a perfect and upright heart doing alwaies all that is right in thy sight that thou maiest O Lord more and more delight in me the work of thy hand and in some measure I hope trust and believe in Jesus Christ the joy of thy heart and that thou wilt gratiously own me for thine own and never be ashamed to be called my God for Christ my Soul doth and shall alwaies blesse thee and to him with thine own most glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace the Sanctifier and Comforrer be alwaies and eternally given Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen 124. God he waiteth to be gratious to bring deliverance to his children and servants as they wait for the grace of deliverance 125. Thus is our Good good gratious and merciful Sympathizing with us in our afflictions as well as in our comforts 126. Thus is our God a most gratious God The God of all grace and Father of all mercies alwaies doing good never weary repenting or standing still 127. His fountain of Love favour grace and mercy is not only alwaies open for us but alwaies running over flowing out to run into us he is abundant in loving kindnesse yea his delight is to be alwaies doing good he would that we would alwaies ask that he might alwaies give 128. It is not possible but impossible to be weary speaking unto God when that we have his Spirit or to be weary hearing of him speak to us by the same Spirit 129. His words are as the droppings of honey the sweet of all sweets sweeter much by much than the honey or the honey comb 130. The Soul of a right Christian of a true Believer doth not nor cannot desire more favour than to be admitted to speak freely unto God being fitted by him and taught by his Spirit what to speak for then he is sure to hear him to speak to him again an answer of peace 131. If it be so delightful a thing to us here in the flesh whilst we are as it were so far from him or at least seeing him far off so darkly his back parts only Ah how comforting how solacing how transforming to see his transcendent glorious face as he is to be seen and to hear his sweet and sacred voyce audably that we are his and that he is ours And when he shall have cloathed us with his own liknesse and have made us in some small measure glorious as he is glorious for we shall then shine in the glory of our head Christ Jesus putting on his glory 132. Ah Lord God be good unto me and grant that through thine infinite fulness and goodnesse I may fill others that are empty with these thine overslowings wherewith thou hast filled
thy Soul that God censure thee not for it but convince thee and convert thee even as if thou wert a part of my very self and as if my well being did consist in thy well being for be thou what ever thou art though I hate thy sin and be offended at it yet I truly and in all faithfulness love thy self and thy Soul and would with my heart that it go so well with thee as it doth through the free Grace Love and Mercy of God in Jesus Christ with me And I shall continue to contend with God in the behalf of thy Soul ann the pardon of thy sins as for my own I know what it is to be a great sinner and I also know through the infinite and incomprehensible Love of God what it is to be washed cleansed pardoned justified sanctified and saved from all sin and to be in Christ without spot or wrinckle undefiled And therefore I cannot in humility I speak it but as God love all Souls with true and unfeigned Love heartily praying and desiring that none might perish but that all might come to partake of everlasting life to enjoy for ever those heart and Soul ravishing joyes that God hath prepared and laid up for all those that truly love him I intend not to speak anything touching the method nor to crave the excuse of any for any thing that may not savour with them I know from whom I have received it and he I am sure will patronize and protect it and blesse it in some measure I hope unto all that shall read it but whatever successe it find I shall find I am sure all that I seek for which is peace within during this life and honour glory and immortality in the World to come which good Lord grant for Christ his sake unto all those that love thee and wait for thine appearing And thus dear hearts I leave you to the guidance of the good Spirit of the Lord to direct you in all your thoughts and words that they and all your actions as well as mine may be now and alwaies acceptable in his sight who is our strength and our Redeemer to him who is able to keep you from the hour of temptation and to preserve you blamelesse until the hour of his coming I commit and commend you Remaining In London Anno 1654. IN the Name of the most Holy Glorious and Blessed Trinity God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost one God blessed for ever to whom be given and ascribed as all due is and to none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving by me and by the whole world of his Elect Now and for ever more Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it THomas Arundell the poorest vilest basest and most unworthiest of all the servants of the living God altogether unworthy of that most Worthy Glorious and Right Honourable Title but trusting on his mercy and Free Grace to be made worthy through the merits and worthiness of Jesus Christ and in him to be accounted worthy Doth in all humility of heart most humbly beg and implore his Divine Majesty in Jesus Christ to inspire bless and assist him with his holy Spirit that he may here following set down only the sincere breathings and longings of his soul in truth and sincerity of heart and that he may grow daily from one degree of grace unto another from step to step untill he come to that height and fulness of measure of holiness appointed by God in Jesus Christ who is the fountain the Ocean and the fulness of all happiness and blessedness being God equal with the Father Blessed for ever and ever A Prayer O Most Holy most Glorious Eternal Incomprehensible Lord God full of Grace and Truth Maker and Giver of all things both in heaven and in earth from all eternity unto all eternity thou art and there is none besides thee God blessed for ever and ever Thou givest O Lord freely fully and continually and art never weary nor repentest all our springs are in thee and from thee thou canst not increase nor diminish whatever is done for or against thee Ah Lord my God give me so much of thy self as I may be like unto thee in all things by grace here and in glory hereafter that I may stedfastly faithfully heedfully carefully and circumspectly do thy whole and holy will on earth untill I come to glorifie thy Name in heaven O Lord conform my will unto thy most holy and most blessed will that I may serve and please thee by all my thoughts words and actions not turning a side to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Let thy most holy and most blessed Spirit teach me lead me guide me and so direct and govern me that the thoughts of my heart the words of my mouth and the works of my hands may be now and alwaies acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer O Lord that searchest all hearts and triest the reins pondering all our actions be pleased in Jesus Christ to look down upon me poor vile sinfull dust and ashes the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men and for his sake wash away all my iniquities and purge me from all my sins and my transgressions known or unknown secret or revealed past present and to come and for the merits of that most dear and pretious blood of thy dear and only Son which was I believe shed for me on the Cross. O Lord grant that I may appear blamelesse and spotlesse before thy throne of Grace and Justice at all times when I come before thee that thou maiest have delight in me and in all the works of my hands and maiest according to thy good promise graciously hear and answer my petitions and requests which I most humbly and unfeignedly desire may be framed in my heart by thy holy Spirit that they may be according to thy holy mind and will and finde acceptation through the mediation and merits of thy dear only and beloved Son Jesus Christ the Righteous And grant O most mercifull and loving Father in Jesus Christ my Redeemer that I may set down from time to time the only Dictates of thy holy and most blessed Spirit unto my poor soul not any head notions but my very hearts frame and only desires and motions that they may both then and ever after refresh rejoyce glad and comfort me and cause me to bring forth fruit to newness and amendment of life for the honour and glory of thy great Name and grant that I may ever renounce all merit or worthiness in my self for the very least of all thy mercies no not for the crumbs that fall by thy providence from the childrens table Sure I am the more light I have from thee O Lord my God I shall the better and clearer see my own darknesse the more I have of thy wisdom the better I
never desire nor ask any other honour or Condition 118. I would much rather have Christ in me and doubt it then not in me and believe it rather such true sorrow then such false joy 119. If Christ were not in Heaven I would not desire to be there my desire should be to be where Christ should be 120. Let me so love thee O Lord as I may alwayes fear thee and so fear thee as I may ever unfainedly love thee let these two graces be never sever'd from me nor I from them 121. Let no sin keep me from thee but let every and all sins drive me unto thee for I know that thou art a God pardoning all sins and Blasphemies all iniquities and transgressions of such as repent and resolve to do so no more and I know that thou art my God and Father in Jesus Christ. 122. Love me then so O Lord my God I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ as to keep me unspotted that is from sinning against thee either in thought word or deed wittingly or willingly 123. Let thy mercyes O Lord my Lord and my good God so draw me and thy Judgments so drive me as I may never be at rest nor quiet untill I come to have quiet rest between thy breasts my dear my sweet and saving Jesus 124. Let me O Lord so think on the world as to hate it more and more untill thou givest me so much grace so to hate it as to think on it no more 125. Let me not O Lord live so long as to desire to be younger to live longer 126. But let me rejoyce in my age for that I am nearer the death of sin and the life of Eternall Glory 127. Make me O Lord not only such as I desire to be but such as thou would'st have me to be which is I trust to be one with thee and in thee 128. I desire O Lord not only to be what I would be but what I should be 129. It is in thee O Lord to give all things for thou art all things therefore of thee do I humbly beg all things 130. Let me not live one moment longer after I have done the work of my Generation that is not live for my self but for thee O Lord. 131. Let my will O Lord be only to do thy will to will thy will and to submit to thy wills will 132. Let me be wholly thine holy thine only thine all thine alwayes thine and ever thine here in thy Kingdome of grace and hereafter in thy Kingdome of Glory 133. I had much rather have the punishment of sin and not sin then the evil of sin and no punishment 134. Ah how sweet is it to want the worlds sweets and in its want to find no want but even in want most to abound 135. O Lord thou knowest I desire not so much the world as to have my thoughts and affections taken from the world 136. Could Heaven and Eternal life be purchased for to choose and commit one sin willingly I would not purchase nor have it on that condition but rather depend on the love and mercy of God in Jesus Christ. 137. I am sure God is my God because he hath given me a heart to fear him in love and to love him with fear and trembling to rejoyce in his Statutes to desire to do his will universally and to depend and trust on his sure mercies and faithfull promise in Jesus Christ. 138. I am sure God did ever love me because I am sure he doth now love me and therefore I am sure he will ever love me for where he once loveth he ever loveth and did ever love 139. I am sure God loveth me because he hath given me a heart to hate all sin universally with a sincere and perfect hatred both in thought word and deed 140. I am sure God loveth me because he hath given me true conviction and sincere sound and unfaigned repentance from for all sin esteeming all exceeding sinfull both the great and the small 141. I am sure God loveth me because I delight in his wayes and for that all my longings and desires are to do all his will 142. I am sure God loveth me because I find his Yoak easie and his burthen light 143. I am sure God loveth me because I would not commit any sin nor could I sin willingly to get his love if I doubted of it 144. I know and am sure that God loveth me because that I do most heartily and sincerely desire to love him a thousand thousand times more then my own self 145. I know God loveth me because I love him most for himself 146. I know God loveth me because I desire nothing so much as to be his faithfull humble and obedient Servant 147. I know God loveth me because I love every man especially such as I beleive love him and because their conditions what ever they be make none with me 148. I know God loveth me because I love every mans soul prosperity and happiness as my own and their bodies more then my own 149. I know God loveth me because those that have been and are still my Enemies in the flesh I love both in the flesh and Spirit 150. I know God loveth me because I do sincerely pray for the souls and bodyes of those whom I have cause to beleive that they hate me 151. I know God loves me because I hate nothing but what he hates which is sin 152. I know God loves me because he hath thus changed my heart from hatred to love and hath made me to hate what I loved and to love what I hated 153. I know God loves me because I love all things for his Glory all things in subordination to him who is all things 154. Ah sweet Jesus give me so much love to love thee here on earth as thou lovest me when thou wert here for I cannot else love thee enough nor soon enough 155. Ah that I had ever loved thee and never loved sin 156. Ah Lord give me this great grace of love that I may forget all other love forsake all other love and hate all other love that shall in the least hinder my love to thee or lessen my loving of thee for my soul desireth only to love thee 157. Thou only art lovely Ah my sweet Jesus and my only beloved 158. O Lord my God let my love to thee increase as my life shall decrease 159. And as I draw nearer to thee let me O Lord find thee more lovely and more and more to love me 160. Let me so love thee O Lord my Lord as I may love thee only serve thee only fear thee only and be delighted ravished and comforted in and with thy love 161. With thee O Lord I leave my self as a token of my love Ah give me thine and let us never change 162. The love O Lord I have for thee I confess I had from thee it being now in me O let
love to thy self not mine honour but thine honour not my praise but thy praise not my glory but thy glory my souls salvation and the good benefit and advantage of others and all I beg and what else thou knowest to be needfull for me for Jesus Christ my blessed only alone Saviour and Mediator and Redeemers sake Amen A Prayer O All holy Almighty Infinite and Incomprehensible wise glorious gratious good mercifull patient sweet lovely loving and most blessed and ever blessed Lord God thou art not only holy but holiness it self not only wise but wisdome it self not only good but goodness it self not only merciful but mercy it self not only patient but patience it self not only sweet but sweetness it self not only love and loving but love it self not only strong but strength it self not only powerfull but all power it self not only great but greatness it self not only mighty but Almighty and might it self not only blessed but blessedness all blessedness it self not only happy but possessing all happiness making all happy that are happy being happiness it self all good O God is in thee and comes forth from thee thou containest all things being all things all things being in thee but art contained by none thou art what thou wilt be and therefore willest what thou wilt it is thy honour and thy glory that thou art what thou art all thy doings are wonderfull and like thy self holy just and true thou art all things do'st all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually never repenting repyning nor upbrayding glorious thou art in holiness fearfull thou art in praises doing wonders all thy works do praise thee Ah let me thy unworthy unnatural disobedient sinful and wretched Creature in my self out of thee do the same every moment and all the moments of my life by all my thoughts words and actions both at home and abroad that thy power O God and thy might even thine Almighty power may be alwayes seen in me and shew forth to thy glory that thou abidest and dwellest in me so that all that shall behold me may love thee and long for thee running after thee to obtaine thee and so by enjoying thee may likewise praise thee O God I know that thou do'st all that thou wilt and willest all that thou dost thou art as willing as able and as able as willing as great as good and as good as great nothing can hinder thee nothing can deprive thee of being what thou art for before any thing was thou wert all things have their all from thee thou art the Alpha and the Omega the beginning and the end it is the greatest and the cheifest joy of all the Angells and Saints in Heaven and on earth that thou art what thou art and that they belong unto thee and that thou art pleased to own them for thine own thy glory is their glory thine end their aime thy will their wills their chief desire to be is to please thee O God to please thee and to adore thee without thee we know we can do nothing nor should be nothing thou O Lord God art our all and our all for all our springs are in thee and from thee And now O Lord God I come at this time before thee to speak a word unto thee but I find my self as unable as unfit and as unfit as unable being empty of all good and full fit and ready for any or all evils such O Lord thou knowest is my wretched and miserable nature averse unto all that is good and prone unto all that is evil but thou O my God in Jesus Christ that art all good and able to do all good fill O Lord fill I humbly beseech thee my empty heart with thy self even with thy fulness that I may speak unto thee thine own words and not mine own for mine own words would be but words but meer words but thy words even thine O God are works and work I know effectually thou do'st not here us for our words sake because they are but the words of men nor for our works sake because they are but mens works nor for our own sake because we have forsaken thee but for thy great names sake O Lord which is thy self and therefore for thine own sake thou hearest us Ah Lord God let me then so heare thy voyce as my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee O Lord is to live yea to live in thee to thee and for thee which to do Ah Lord thou knowest is the desire I have to live Ah great God be thou then gratiously pleased in the abundance of thy great goodness to speak a word in season unto this dull dead senceless heart of mine that I may be so ravisht therewith as I may forthwith come out of my self flye from my self hate loath and abhor my self in dust and ashes cause me O Lord to consider my self as indeed I am which is a little creeping clay speaking earth a worme and no man vile sinful wretched and abominable from the Crown of the head to the sole of the foot there is no whole part in me I am more Leprous then Gehazy much more unclean then was Mary Magdalen more blind in soul then Bartemeus was in body more lame to run after thee O Lord in thy wayes then was Mephibosheth in his feet my soul runs with a greater flux of sin then was the Hemorish Issue and more then thirty eight years O Lord thou knowest all these diseases have been upon me Ah Lord my Lord and my God be thou therefore pleased in love and mercy to look upon me with one of thine eyes and heale me and thou shalt do as great a work as in curing them all I know and am assured that thou hast so great a skill that if thou wilt thou canst with a word forgive the one and heale the other Ah wonder of wonders yea too too wonderful to beleive but by those whom thou dwellest in that thou wilt dwell and delight to dwell in such a heart but all such know O Lord through the power of thy goodness and the working of thy holy spirit in their hearts that nothing is hard for thee O God to do but all things are as easie as possible thou bringest light out of darkness and turnest evil into good with the word of thy mouth for he is only worthy whom thou in favour accountest worthy Seeing then O Lord God that it is thy good will and pleasure to do so much for me as thou canst do which is to give me thine own self be thou Ah be thou pleased in the riches of thy mercy and free grace to accept of my self not as a recompence O Lord for this thy great gift but as an acknowledgment that I have received so great a gift from thee and that therefore I am no longer nor no more mine own nor any others either in Heaven or on earth but
against him God so delighteth in him that all that he doth and doth not delighteth him because he knoweth the thoughts of his heart and desires of his Soul towards him and for him therefore he esteemeth taketh and accepteth of what he would do as if he did what he should do 180. He that hath the Spirit of God in him is made holy he sinneth no more he is sanctified throughout in Spirit Soul and body his heart will and affections serve the Lord alwaies though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin yet with his mind he serves the Law of God he hateth all the evil which he doth and loveth all the good which he doth not so as sin yea all sin is become unto him so exceeding sinful as he would not sin either in thought word or deed to have grace abound in him no nor glory neither it is no longer therefore he that sinneth but sin that dwelleth in him for he hateth all sin with a perfect hatred and he so loveth holinesse and righteousnesse as he longeth after it he seeketh for it as for silver and searcheth for it as for hid treasures it is become his whole and only end and aime he hath no other ambition he coveteth nothing else he desireth much grace that he may give God much glory daily grace that he may give him daily glory continually grace that he may give him continually glory 181. He that hath this Spirit of God in him is led in the wayes of all truth and holinesse which is everlasting life and happinesse and he hath overcome the World and that wicked one he is departed from all iniquity in thought word and deed he hath crucified the world with all its lusts and affections and the world is crucified unto him he seeketh no longer to please the flesh by satisfying the lusts and affections thereof he serveth not God for the loaves only but he seeketh more after Heaven for God than God for Heaven for to honour obey please and serve him is Heaven to him 182. This Spirit helpeth his infirmities teacheth him Heavenly Wisdome so as to know what the mind and will of God is and to discern the great mysteries of his salvation and to know God in the spirit 183. This spirit assureth him of his Eternal Election being the Divine and Eternal purpose of God by Jesus Christ we have an access by one spirit unto the Father 184. This spirit witnesseth unto him that hath it his effectual Calling his Adoption Justification Sanctification and Glorification and makes him to cry Abba-Father and to come boldly unto his glorious Throne of grace and gratious Throne of glory and to say with Thomas my Lord and my God and with Paul I know whom I have believed and whom I love and therefore saith boldly as Peter Lord thou knowest that I love thee 185. This spirit of God leads him by the hand and directs him how he shall walk and tells him what he shall do and suffers him not to goe aside either to the right hand or to the left of honours riches or pleasures it makes him to esteem all these things below as earthly low things even as nothing for the whole world is much too little for him is not enough to satisfie please or content him for he looks on its all even as nothing at all as durt dung and dross he is content in all estates and conditions for he knows both how to want and how to abound and with St. Paul to say as sorrowful yet alwayes rejoycing as poor yet making many rich as having nothing yet possessing all things for Christ is his exceeding gain his Heavenly riches his true treasure he hath now learnt to know Christ and him Crucified and therefore rejoyceth only in the Cross of Christ and saith I have none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Christ is now only his all and his all to him to live is Christ he mindeth none but Christ nor nothing but Christ and what he hath done for him he so loveth and delighteth in him as he is become all his talk all day long and his meditations and songs in the night if he sleeps yet he talks with him so that sleeping as well as waking he desires to have him in his thoughts and never to have his thoughts off from him and his sleep he accounts not sweet if he have had no Conversation with him by Communication and as soon as he is awake he is before his eyes and he presently recollects and recounts his mercyes and delighteth in that he oweth him more and more for though he oweth him so much yet he longs to owe him as much more and though he cannot pay him any thing yet he is not ashamed every moment to ask him all things and nothing less then all things which is himself will content him and though he have his word and promise for it yet he will have his seal also and when he hath both sign and seal yet he must have it daily yea Hourly yea as it were every moment if he could and though he accounts that he hath nothing so sure yet he would alwayes have him assure him of it not that he doubts at all of his word or promise but that he might alwayes bear in mind this his sweet and gratious promise to sweeten all other sowers of afflictions and temptations and to imbitter all other worldly and fleshly sweets he is so wedded unto him as he is never at rest nor ease if he do not alwayes behold him if he do not alwayes smile upon him if he do not still speak peace unto him if he do not in all places cause the light of his blessed Countenance to shine upon him he is so in love with him and so loveth him as if he could he would willingly think of no other speak of no other nor act for no other he would most willingly spend his all and be all spent for him follow him wheresoever he goeth though it were to be banisht imprisoned and made the poorest vilest and contemptiblest of men yea though it should bring sickness and death he is much grieved for that he hath so little to loose for him he accounts his life and all not any thing at all not worth the offering unto such a God as he is that hath done so much as he hath done for him Ah when he afresh considers hereof how afresh doth his grief and sorrow begin and most because he cannot grieve and sorrow as he would he is so wounded afresh with his new old love or his old new love as now he finds nothing lovely in himself to witness his love unto him he cannot do for him the half that he would do and Ah how is he troubled that he doth and is able to do so little for him that he loveth so much Ah how willing is he and how willingly would he do his whole and
holy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven and would be as willingly Sanctified as Glorified this his imperfection causeth him to long for perfection and this his holiness in part to long to be dissolved to enjoy for ever perfect holiness but though he be thus tossed on the restless waves of tentation tryal and affliction this spirit of God that dwelleth and abideth in him assureth him that all these things are tokens of Gods love and come from him in love and therefore he is content for that he knowes that his Lord and Master Christ Jesus is touched with the feeling of his infirmities and was in all points like unto him yet without sin 186. This spirit comforts him when he is comfortless and binds up his broken heart heals his wounded heart visits his sick heart gives feeling to his senceless heart life to his dead heart faith to his doubting heart hope to his dispairing heart speaks peace to his disconsolated and afflicted heart and gives understanding sence memory and reason unto his distracted heart 187. He that hath this spirit he is grieved to see Christ dishonoured by any and to see him blasphemed and evil spoken off is to throw durt and dung in his face mens dishonest filthy lives and conversation makes his soul â—o melt his heart to quake his eares to tingle and to gnash his teeth for grief he goeth mourning all the day long and lamenteth with a most bitter lamentation to hear the mockings of God and his Word because this is to Crucifie his Jesus afresh and to put him again to open shame 188. For he that hath this spirit rejoyceth to hear the name of God and of Christ magnified and praised to hear him well spoken off causeth his heart to leap within him as the Babe did in Elizabeths Womb for he loves those that love him and honour those that honour him and such only he accounteth his Father and Mother his Brothers and Sisters that do the will of God his Father which is in Heaven for he esteemeth only the true Christian to be wise and rich and honourable though otherwise he be poor and vile and contemptible in the eyes and esteem of men his very heart and soul cleaves unto these as the heart of Jonathan did unto David for 189. He that hath this spirit of God dwelling in him dwelleth in love and God the God of love in him he loves the souls of all men as his own soul whether they be relations or strangers he prays for them in secret and exhorts them in publick yea he weeps bitterly for all such as are not yet brought home to Christ but especially for such as he seeth are dead in their sins as have eyes but see not eares but hear not feet but walk not hands but handle not mouths but tast not for all such as walk after the flesh and do the works of the flesh for with his will he would that none did goe to Hell and that the Kingdome of Satan were not so populous and that he had not so many faithful Servants which are so faithless to Jesus Christ and to their own poor souls he would that all would believe and receive Christ that they might be all saved because he knoweth that many are interressed in every souls Salvation both in Heaven and on earth 190. This spirit opens Heavens Gates and leads the soul into the Inner Courts and carryes him up into the Brides Chamber and feasts him in his Banqueting house and fills and solaces his heart not with the delicacies of Egypt not with the Milk and Hony of Canaan but with those sweet rich delitious and pretious most pretious delicasies that are in that Heavenly Jerusalem the City of the living God where the spirit of all just men are made perfect they are fed continually with that rich dish of assurance and have the foretasts of those Eternal joyes which is that blessed rest prepared for the people of God 161. And thus this spirit causeth those in whom it dwelleth to rejoyce ever more and again I say to rejoyce for can any man in whom this spirit dwelleth who is the Sanctifier and the Comforter and sent us from Heaven by our blessed Saviour be afflicted can any mourn whil'st the Bridgroome is with them Ah no surely no for he comes with healings in his wings he bringeth Ah he bringeth the glad tydings of peace and salvation to all soules where it cometh to abide and thus are all the Sons of God led by his spirit comforted by his Spirit ravisht with his Spirit taught by his Spirit feasted by his Spirit brought home unto him by his Spirit and made one with him by his Spirit for we have all access unto the Father through the same Spirit let this then teach us all that are acquainted with the works of this Spirit not to quench its motions not to afflict or grieve this holy Spirit of blessedness but be always ready and willing to receive him and entertaine him for if we delight in him and to abide with him he will delight in us and delight to abide in us for he will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoaking flax but wheresoever there is the true sincere and unfained desires of grace he will give grace according to these desires for he will never leave us comfortless but will come unto us and where he hath begun his work he will as assuredly finish it he will never leave nor forsake us if we do not leave not forsake him but will make our weak and imperfect grace strong and perfect glory for he knoweth all our desires and the thoughts and imaginations of our hearts are not hid from him but are alwayes open and naked before him and he delighteth most to feed us when we are most hungry and to refresh us when we are most thirsty and to cloath us most richly when we are naked and to give us the greatest treasure when we are poorest and to visit us when we are most sick for his absence and to comfort us when we are most disconsolated and afflicted and when we cast our selves down then doth he delight to raise us up to the highest and when we think our selves worst then doth he esteem us at the best and after our mourning causeth us to rejoyce and wipes away all tears from our eyes 192. Thus is this Spirit unto us all things who bringeth us much more joy then we are able to ask then we are able to think it Convinceth our hearts of sin of Righteousness and of Judgment 193. This Spirit giveth wisdome to the simple and teacheth the Ignorant knowledg and causeth him to understand so as Babes and Sucklings shew forth his mighty praises for he revealeth unto them what he hideth from the wise and mighty men of the earth and maketh appear plain that their Wisdome is but meer foolishness their strength weakness and their honours but as a leaf
all things is to have Jesus Christ for our Jesus and for our Christ get him Oh get him and I am sure thou wilt hereunto set thy seal 318. Wilt thou live happy live to him and for him only 319. Wilt thou dye willingly dye first to sin 320. Wilt thou live eternally live so then here as as Christ thy head and thy husband lived when he was in the flesh doing alwaies the will of God his heavenly Father 321. Wilt thou alwaies be comforted and rejoyce make thy peace with thy God and labour to maintain it 322. For fear or favour to gain or lose what thou hast or maiest hope to have have a special care and resolve that thou consent not unto connive at or love the least or sweetest sin 323. And if unhappily at any time thou dost fall lie not Ah beware thou lie not willingly in it but rise quickly and come out of it by true sincere unfained repentance and wash and bathe thy self in tears of sorrow grief and lamentation but still hope and trust in the Lord for he will fail thee never In Bourdeaux Ann. 1657. 1. ALL they that live holily live in God and God that is all holinesse lives in them they dwell in him and he in them as sin is Hell is Devil is both torment and tormentor so holinesse is Heaven is God is both Comfort and Comforter 2. All that is good is from God who is all good only good ever was and ever shall be all goodnesse is from his goodnesse yea from his overflowing fulnesse of goodnesse they are thus filled with all good 3. And as light brings out of darknesse dispels it vanquisheth and overcomes it so Gods Love which is holinesse delivers us from all sin dispels conquers and overcomes it brings us Ah brings us for ever out of this Hell sin into this Heaven holinesse or Heavenly holinesse 4. Love from God is made perfect that is sincere and this Love casteth out and overcomes all fear causeth true filial fear which flows from true sincere Love yea from this Love which is from Gods fear or the fear of God which is his Love 5. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake never to take thy holy spirit from me who is my light my life my joy my rejoycing my strength my hope my faith my confidence and my assured assurance 6. Thou teachest me O Lord all that I know and thou knowest well that I desire to know nothing but that and what thou wilt and dost intend to teach me 7. For to know any other things yea to know all other things is even to know nothing to this one thing of knowing thee and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent to know him not only to be a Jesus and a Christ but our Christ and our Jesus in the Mistery not in the History in the Spirit not in the letter nor from notions but from motions living walking raygning ruling overcoming bringing under making subject willingly cheerfully constantly continually throughly seriously faithfully ardently gladly and preservingly at all times and in all places and things 8. Ah how great a folly yea what greater folly is there then the wisdome of men and to learn only that which man can teach 9. What Ah what are all his words but meet words froth scum a scummy froth that is as soon dead as born short lived quickly made and quickly unmade and its making is its destruction it grow and withers together in growing it is even as its maker and it shews its maker man to be like it that is a windy puff as the puff of the wind man nothing man but vanity which is in it self worse then if it were not then if it were nothing 10. Mins greatness power strength honour beauty wisdome prudence policy what is it but as himself a vanishing vapour having nothing certaine but that all he hath is uncertaine what ever he hath to day of riches honours or pleasures to morrow all may say him nay and take themselves wings and flye away and he himself as the rich glutton goe where he shall ever stay and ever weep and waile this his very day the day that ever these or this was his 11. Ah how much nothing then is all things out of him that is all things even our God the God and giver of all things 12. Yet Lord I am content and willing to not to be any thing yea to be any thing for thy sake 13. O my soul I charge thee henceforth never to be afraid to loose what thou hast committed and given unto the Lord to keep for thee fear not then neither to loose any thing that he hath given thee and keeps for thee which is thy faith thy fear thy love thy joy thy hope thy peace thy comfort and thine assurance 14. Fear not to loose thy confidence obedience nor perseverance for he that hath given thee this thine all will so preserve and keep thee that thou shalt never fall 15. Speaking without feeling is even as dry bones that have no tast relish nor moisture that cannot nourish nor do not any whit satisfie or please the spiritual appetite 16. Me thinks to speak not what a man feels or not to feel what he speaks is as if he did not speak at all nay me thinks he should not speak it for it is words only only meer words true we shall be judged and condemned too for words but sure I am it must be works not words shall justifie us by faith we are saved now faith without works is dead 't is not the knowing Servants but the doing ones that shall receive the recompence of reward and enter into the joy of their Lord and ever possess the Lord of their joy knowers and not doers shall be beaten with many stripes blessed are they that have seen and have believed but more blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed 17. The just shall live by faith not the faith of words to say only I believe in the Son of God in Jesus Christ whom he hath sent but of works to shew that he did believe be doing the works were Commanded him to do which is to fear God and keep his Commandements 18. But to feel what a man speaks and to speak that only which he feels is not words only but works also yea the work of Gods spirit for its the spirits work thus to work to work his will and his work on our hearts and to cause us to feel that is to know that he works for us and in us and will never leave thus working till he hath wrought out our Salvation that is till he hath sanctified us throughout in spirit soul and body and prepared and fitted us for Heaven as Heaven is fitted and prepared for us 19. Ah how great a folly is it to prise any other wisdome or to account any other things wisdome then this one thing feelingly to
my inward man may be filled with the Spirit whether the body live or dye as for the bodies sake I care not though the body be hunger starved it shall for sure I am it will be well content if the Spirit be thus fed and filled with the presence breathings and Communion of thy Spirit t is not Ah Lord t is not thou well knowest the Quails and Mannah from Heaven nor thy body and blood corporally but spiritually that my Soul longeth for and my heart desireth aud panteth after so that it even fainteth for lack of it Ah give me that or else I dye I dye indeed corporally spiritually and eternally from which deaths O Lord by thine own death I trust I hope I believe and am confidently assured that thou hast delivered me and wilt deliver me by giving me this Heavenly food of thy holy Spirit to live in thee for thee and to thee here by grace and hereafter in glory this is my belief O Lord increase my Faith strengthen it and comfort it more and more by thine own Spirits living raigning and ruling in my heart by causing it willingly cheerfully and perseveringly to walk in thy waies doing thy will with sincerity integrity and uprightnesse in thought word and deed both towards thee and towards all men for ever and for ever 56. He that maketh wagers usually coveteth if not alwaies therefore surely its best to forbear 57. Ah Lord keep me from coveting any other thing than thy self and thy holy and blessed Spirit to teach me lead me direct me guide and govern me my heart and affections to walk in all thy holy waies and to keep all thy Commandments all my daies 58. For worldly covetings after the things of this World keep our thoughts hearts memories and affections from seeking with coveting desires the things of Heaven or Heavenly things 59. Let me covet thee O Lord ever ever But all things or any thing out of thee never 60. Let my Love be to love thee my delight to delight thee my care O Lord let it be to please thee my groanings to go after thee in thy wayes and let all my joyes be to rejoyce in thee and thy praise and to praise thee O Lord my Lord alalwies 61. Ah suffer me not in other to spend my daies But thus uprightly to walk in all thy waies 62. Covetings for the World makes the affections of the heart to affect the World but covetings for and after Heaven makes the heart and all the affections thereof to affect Heaven and the things in Heaven with a heavenly heart 63. Covetings for the World makes the heart earthly but covetings for Heaven makes the heart heavenly 64. Covetings after God makes the heart God-like according to his heart Covetings after any thing out of God or besides God makes the heart ungodly that is ungodlike and contrary to his heart 65. Couetings after the flesh makes the heart fleshly or a heart in the flesh Covetings after the Spirit makes the heart spiritual yea a heart living in Gods Spirit 66. I suppose that if a man love at times unlawfully lusting after strange flesh only with the flesh that is desires and would their Loves with the flesh but not with the will and mind which is the heart though the flesh saith yea and yields if the Spirit faith nay and yields not and doth much more ardently and vehemently desire and would not their Loves then the flesh doth and would their Loves and the Spirit that is their inward man would much rather have the hatred than their loves and hath sincere hatred and dislike to this Love by the flesh faithfully truly ardently and continually It is not he that sins but sin that dwelleth in him for though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin please the flesh yet he hates detests and abhors the evil which he doth and with his mind he serves the Law of God Gods Law is written in his heart and remains engraven still in the inner man on all his affections 67. As to me I willingly most willingly would if it might be love none but my God alone 68. True Lord true it is the outward man that is the flesh desireth and delighteth in the things of the flesh because it is fleshly as the inner man the heart of the soul and the soul of the heart and all the faculties thereof delighteth and rejoyceth in the things of the Spirit because it is spiritual 69. I have no Heaven here Lord because my Heaven is in thee And yet I have a Heaven Lord here because thou that art Heaven art here and in me 70. Above all keepings keep O Lord O Lord keep my heart my poor heart from sin from choosing delighting approving countenancing or maintaining sin 71. But this is not all no Lord no thou knowest it s to be thy servant to work thy work to do thy will not for my self as for thy self not for my praise applause or honour but for thine for I could not be satisfied though I had all I would have unlesse I do all that for which thou hast created me and appointed me to do 72. 'T is not Ah 't is not the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World the honours riches and pleasures thereof 't is not the honey of Earth but heavens honey that my Soul desireth to tast and ever to feed upon 73. If I had and were ever sure to have all the satisfaction that ever Creature had and I had thee not O my God for my Portion as I firmly believe I have I should and would account my self of all men on Earth the most miserablest 74. I would not give the part and Portion that I have at present in my God for all this Worlds good for all its honours riches and pleasures 75. Ah Lord how much nothing doth all things seem to be when compared to thee 76. Faith hope and Love in thee and for thee O Lord is more worth than all things else that can be given that is not of thee 77. Who is able or can expresse the satisfactions of that Soul unto whom thou hast given Love cordial faithful sincere and persevering Love to love thee 78. Ah how sweet a thing is it to serve the Lord Ah how pleasant and delightsome to walk alwaies in all his wayes and to do all his will willingly 79. Ah Lord my only grief and trouble is because I keep not thy Laws and for that I have not regard to thy Commandments as I would 80. Ah that I were even as a barren wildernesse to bear no fruit for my self and as a dry Spring to give no refreshment to my self to my own self that is my flesh Ah that I were as it were livelesse and lovelesse to my self â—hat I might only live to love and adore thee my God my God 81. What is my life or my self if it be not spent for thee and what are all my daies if I walk not only and
When God is in the heart it may be seen in the face and perceived by the words that come out of the mouth such a lustre is on the whole man both within and without when the presence of God by his Spirit is within he is surelie beautiful in the eyes of all beholders that delight and desire to behold the face of God in Jesus Christ the very Majestie of God in some sort is on such a soul and through the glorious light of Christs gracious face his face doth shine in the sight of God and all good men 49. I will make no condition with thee O God but only this that is to love thee only in all conditions as my God and my only good 50. Ah Lord I most unfeignedlie and humblie beseech thee let me never taste of this bitter bitter that is to find any sin sweet 51. But let all sin even all oh all Be unto me as wormwood and gall 52. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee never suffer the remembrance of the former pleasures of sin to please me but let their remembrance be altogether displeasing hateful and detestabel and to be delivered from them let it be unto me as the deliverance from death and from Hell 53. Let the fire of thy grace quench totally the heat and fire of all and every lust sinful and disordinate affection that I may henceforth burn only in the fire of Love to thy Laws 54. The true life of God in a Christian is most of all and plainliest seen by his hatred to all evil and sin and by his unfeigned sincere ardent and continual Love to all that is good he loves all that is good in all to see it though a far off to hear it spoken of by any whatsoever but to find it in himself most of all joyes and satisfies him to see any evil committed or to hear any evil spoken by any troubles and afflicts him such is his Antipathy against it that he will not give it the least hearing or parley no nor cast the least glance of an eie to favour it it is abominable to him in thought word and deed and in all its circumstances even in all And as well hath the whole man all the faculties of the Soul hatred to the least circumstance of all ill as well as to the greatest but the degree and measure is according to the measure or degree or nature of the ill but it s alike hated sincerely as well the very least as the very greatest of all And in the same manner and measure is his unfeigned Love to all that is good he thanks and praiseth and priezth God for good thoughts as heartily and sincerly as for good words or actions because he as plainly seeth the true Love of God in the very least particualr as in the very gretest And 't is the Love of God which is his presence in Love that makes his Soul to leap within him with joy When that the Soul sees his God it sees all his good his Heaven his blisse his peace his Love his joy his rest his whole and only delight contentment and comfort But in the most good he seeth him most and therefore desireth to do the most good that ever was done or is possible to be done and therein he is best pleased because that pleaseth his God best and to please him is his only pleasure all his pleasure joy and delight only it is his Heaven and therefore he makes it his only happinesse 55. Ah God my God and my only good let it be I most humbly and unfaignedly beseech thee in Jesus Christ alwaies thus with me that my soul may be satisfied may be solaced may be refresht and comforted by thy living in me and by my living alwaies in thee and unto thee to thine eternal honour praise and glory for thine own glorious and holy names sake give me this grace that I may live this life here on Earth until I come to live that life that I shall after this is ended live with thee in Heaven So be it Lord. So be it Amen Amen 56. Ah how happy thrice happy are we Who both tast know feel find savour and see That thou livest in us and that we live in thee 57. Empty me O Lord of all even of all that I may be sit to receive and be filled with thy fulnesse even with thy blessed most blessed self the Ocean and Sea of all goodnesse 58. As long as we are full or in part filled with World flesh of self so much lesse room there is for God for when a Vessel is full it can receive nothing and according to the measure its empty it is capable to receive 59. How then Ah how then should we labour to empty our hearts of all that is not of God that we may be filled only with God with God only and alwaies be thus empty that we may be thus alwaies filled for its clear according to the measure we are empty we are capable to receive and we shall receive from God of his blessed fulnesse of unspeakable joyes and pleasures if we are willing and labour earnestly and sincerely to empty our selves of our selves and of all fleshly worldly pleasures and joyes which are but meer fancies vanities fooleries and toyes 60. Ah Lord God the Fountain and the Ocean that can never be emptied empty I most humbly and unfainedly beseech thee in the name and for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour Jesus Christ my heart of all things even of all what ever it be that is not according to thy heart that is not of thee that I may pant and gape hunger and thirst long and desire to be filled with thee alone alone with thee with thee who art only desirable and to be desired only grant that all the Worlds all may be more and more unto me nothing even nothing at all that thou maiest be all mine and I all thine that I may love all things out of thee lesse and lesse daily and thee O God more and more until I so love thee as it may not be possible for me to love thee more that my Love may cause me so to sink into thee as I may see my self in thee and thee in me yea that I may be so swallowed up into thee that I may not be mine but thine not mine own at all but thine own all even all thine Now henceforth and for ever more So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 61. The greatest gift that God can give us is himself by Christ and then Faith to believe it a heart to love him and rejoyce in it and to praise him continually for it 62. And this will work in us unfained sincere ardent true Love which will cast out all fear of doubting and work in us a true fear not to offend or grieve him any more seeing he hath given us himself to make us his for ever and for ever 63. The greatest
shall find sin dead then will I say as the Lord liveth and because he was put to death and now liveth I shall live also 62. Sin being thus banisht and cast out then shall I see my self free and taken O Lord into Covenant with thee then will I say I am no longer under the Law but under Grace which gratious favour O Lord do me that I may henceforth and for ever live unto and for thine Eternal honour and glory 63. Ah Lord God that wert fastned to the Crosse for my sins and to save my poor Soul fasten my sins there and let them never get loose again and Ah Lord let my Soul live ever in thee and possesse thee ever 64. Ah Lord that raignest over all Principalities and Powers reign I most humbly beseech thee over all these Princes and Powers that have Dominion over me that I may be brought into subjection unto thy most holy Laws and live obediently keeping all thy Divine Commandments That thou O Lord God who art God over all blessed for ever and ever maiest be my God ever over all and blesse me also for ever and for ever that I may ever live in thee and thee in me Amen Amen 65. If we be so willing to unstrip our selves of our cloathing at night and to lye down on out beds naked to uncloath our selves of all our glory and honour pomp and beauty and to unmind that we are what we are to the end we may enjoy a few hours quiet and rest Ah how willing shall we be to unstrip our selves of all that we possesse and of our lives too when that last long night of death shall come and appear to fetch us up from hence that we may be ever with the Lord who is our Eternal and everlasting Portion our infinite and incomprehensible good and blessed rest and peace which shall be as it were ever beginning and never end nor cease 66. Ah our God that art what thou art and yet wilt be pleased to be ours and to own us for thine own 67. Ah Lord God though others satisfie themselves to hear of thee let me not be satisfied till mine eie see thee 68. Though others O Lord be well contented to know thee as men reach Let me I beseech thee be satisfied only with thine own reachings to know thee as thou art to be known that is to see and find and feel thee in me dwelling raigning and ruling there being all in all and bringing into subjection all powers that lift up themselves in me against thee 69. Ah Lord God how much better is it thus to have thee then to have all things out of thee as the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World 70. What Ah what is Earth to Heaven these things below to the things that are above but as pebbles to pearls as drosse to gold or as a shadow to the most glorious and most sublime substance 71. The one being life the other death the one fully satisfies the other is vain and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit with it 72. We cannot know God till we altogether forget our selves we cannot hear God till we are altogether deaf to our selves and to all things out of God we cannot see God till we are stark blind to all things besides him and that is not of him we cannot find God as he is until we have lost our selves and all things else that concerns him not so do and prosper 73. As we know not our latter end nor are not able to number our daies so are we not at all able to tell what God is unlesse he tell us nor to hear him unlesse he open our hearts and give us understanding not comprehend him until he hath made us one with himself and given us his own Spirit to know him by 74. Thus if we live to move after his call and be obedient unto his voyce we shall so hear that our Souls shall live and for ever rejoyce that we live thus to obey him 75. Ah Lord God Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth thou art the all of all those that know thee they that know thee O God as thou art to be known care to know nothing else thou art altogether alsufficient to content and satisfie them with all pleasures and delights their joyes are full when that they enjoy thee And they then say with Jacob that they have all and with David desire nothing else either in Heaven above or Earth beneath Their wills are so swallowed up into thine that they are not theirs but thine and thus to live to thee and in thee they count it only to live and out of thee to be as if they were not as if they had no being 76. I am a Creature but thy Creature O Lord my God I am a man but created for thy self for thy glory and my Everlasting good and happinesse and shall I know that I am thus such a one and not be satisfied for is there any thing else that can satisfie me thus 77. Ah Lord thou settest before me life and death good and evil light and darknesse Heaven and Earth the things above and the things below Ah suffer me not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to prefer pebbles to pearls drosse to gold darknesse to light death to life evil to good Earth to Heaven these low things here below to those high and most transcendent glorious things above But let me give my self to thee O God that hast provided and given such rich rare and pretious things to me enjoying them let me not care seek for or mind these having thee let me be fully satisfied and rejoyce evermore with unspeakable joy 78. Being thy favourite O God who art King of Kings and Lord of Lords living in thy fear and favour shall I not rejoyce much more by much than they do or can do that are but favourites to men and have but their favour they shall all pass away but thee and thy word of grace ingrafted in me shall endure for ever and for ever 79. Ah Lord God pour out of thy self into me more and more that I may be made to rejoyce alwaies with unspeakable joy yea that my joyes may be full 80. Let me O Lord rejoyce much more in despising these things here below than in prizing of them and to have a heart to trample them under my feet than to set them up in my thoughts and affections These being low as they are let me O God keep them alwaies under my feet and trample on them as on durt and dung minding these high and holy things above which thou givest only in love and to those only whom thou lovest 81. Ah Lord God swallow me up into thy self that I may be found there naked and empty of all things out of thee and besides thee so that I may only possesse thee my only good blisse and blessednesse 82. Ah Lord God set alwaies before my eies mine Eternal and
or to have 115. Having thee alone O God I shall have all that is or can ever be attained either here or hereafter 116. I know that there is none in Heaven that have more or that desire more let me have what they have and I shall then be as they be satisfied but till I have as much at least as any I cannot say that I have enough for my desires are as large And till I am thus filed as they are that thus know thee possesse thee and adore thee I cannot but cry out with continual hungring and thirstings Oh feed me Oh fill me for I am empty and want all things if thou dost not O God thus fill me with thy bounty and satisfie me with thy loving kindnesse and cause me to see and know that thou art mine and that I am only thine 117. Ah Lord God I know it is thee only only thee that canst cast out Devils Ah cast out I most humbly beseech thee all the Devils that are in me thou O God that raisest from death to life and that forgivest all our sins freely even for thine own names sake only 118. All that is done in me is done by thee O God it is thine arme that bringeth me so great Salvation 119. Ah Lord God thou only art able to teach and none but those that are immediatly taught by thy spirit know thee or thy teachings 120. Ah Lord teach me then but to know thee as thou art known by thine and I will not care for any other knowledge or any other thing for he that hath this one thing given him may truly say as Jacob did that he hath all 121. Thou art O Lord God that well of life and water of life that whoever drinketh off that is hath thee in himself shall never more thirst againe after any other thing for thou wilt O Christ be ever in him a well of water springing in him even unto Eternal life 121. Thou art O Christ thou art that bread of life that cometh down from Heaven into our hearts and feedest our souls in the assurance of faith sight and knowledg unto Everlasting life 122. Thou art ours and we are thine and this we are taught by thine own spirit dwelling in us and not by any other teaching or science 123. And being thus perswaded and assured our hearts do continually rejoyce yea and shall rejoyce continually even for ever and for ever 124. Such is the Mighty Power of God unto those that know him and waite on him that he maketh as it were at times the very stones in the wall to look on us and to speak good unto us 125. Such is Gods goodnesse that his presence brings with it all good and makes it present to us and dissipates all evil so as we are in some measure changed from evil to good and emptyed of all evil and filled with all good But Ah its duration for the most part for the most of times is little and soon departs such is our forwardness and pronenesse to all evil and our aversnesse and deadnesse to all that is good which makes the Children of God with Paul to be weary yea stark weary of themselves as of a dead body yea to esteem their bodyes their own natural affections even as dead bodyes wherefore they desire to be dissolved finding such a Law in their members as continually fighteth and warreth against the Law of God in their minds and leads them so often Captive unto the Law of sin that they complain in the very language of that blessed Apostle Ah wretched man miserable worm that I am when shall I be delivered when shall I be freed and set at liberty when shall it be with me as my soul desires it were to live unto God as I should as I would and not thus live in death or dye all the day long whilst I am alive 126. Ah most glorious and most holy Lord God it is thy glory that thou art what thou art and it is our mighty shame that we are what we are thy purity and thy power O God is only known unto thy self we indeed see something of thee But all that all the Angels and blessed in Heaven see were all their sight and knowledge in one of them would yet be much less by much then the least drop is to the whole Ocean yea then one moment is or would be unto Eternity Thou art O God thou art incomprehensibly glorious powerful and great there is no end of thy goodnesse for it shall continue for ever and for ever world without end so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 127. Let me O God my God be so swallowed up into thee as I may ask after nothing but thee as I may speak of nothing but thee not hear nothing in me but thee that I may desire nothing but thee and may live unto nothing but thee so that I may be all thine and nothing but thine 128. This knowledge O God of thee passeth all understanding none can speak of it unless thou speakest it in him and that is according to us and not according to thee for if thou should'st speak unto us according to thy self Ah Lord we could not hear thee so as to comprehend it 129. As we have thee O God so we speak of thee as we know thee so we declare thee as we feel thee so we praise thee and as we comprehend thee so we prise thee and according as thou art unto us so we publish it unto others But alas alas what is this to thee to what thou art 130. Let not he that hath the most boast for he hath nought but what is given him 131. Let not him that hath the least be discouraged for he hath so much as will do him most good at the last 132. Let not him that is fallen cast himself down over much for God if he seek him will raise him up againe 133. Let every man waite and in due time he shall have so much of that which God seeth and knoweth is best for him 134. The best of all is that which God seeth to be best of all for us and so much he will not fail to give thee O man who ever thou art if thou relye and depend on him 135. And when we have received it let us lay it up that is lay it out that it may increase for he that hath most more shall be given him he shall have most of all 136. The blessing of the Almighty shall and will alwayes goe along with those that diligently seek him they shall be sure to see no evil all their dayes 137. The blessednesse and the happinesse of the Saints is to see God and to know him to be theirs 138. He shall have him that would have him he shall be with him that desireth him he shall be taught by him that giveth himself up unto him and he shall know him that followeth after him in his wayes and that
Devil had fewer Servants and thou O God who art all goodnesse had'st more that he were cast of by all and thy grace and favour accepted off that he were disowned and thou O God for ever owned to be only worthy to be believed in feared loved prized magnified and praised let these and a thousand-fold more of thanksgiving honour and glory be given unto thy most sacred and most glorious Name who art God of Gods and Lord of Lords the very and only true God blessed for ever and for ever Thus even thus O Lord I have taken on me through the guidance of thy good spirit to chatter a little as a Crane or a Swallow and to speak unto thee and of thee with a stammering tongue thou knowest how far short scant it is to what I might would and me thinks could speak if thou would'st be pleased to inable me to declare and shew forth what thou hast in love and mercy stablisht and rooted within me But in my weaknesse and scantnesse I trust O Lord thou wilt be large and by and with my little speak much to their hearts souls and Consciences unto whom I can speak but to the hearing of the eare and though I had the tongue of an Angel yet my words could not be effectual Paul could speak but to Lydias's eare it was the sweet charming voyce of thy holy spirit that spake to her heart and begat in her holy and Heavenly affections Pauls planting and Apollo's watering without thy blessing would be in vaine all mans all is nothing at all but emptinesse it is only thou O God that mad'st the soul that only canst satisfie the soul and thou who only art above Conscience that canst quiet the Conscience that thou wilt thus graciously and powerfully work on others hearts and lives with this thy gracious work of grace with which thou hast so richly and plentiously wrought on mine and in me are my hopes desires and hearty humble and affectionate prayers and for this end and to bring glory to thy Eternrl most holy and most glorious name I send it forth under the shadow of thy wings to be protected Ah Lord hear me and graciously answer me and do for me and all thine much more abundantly then I or they can ask or think according to the greatnesse of thy goodnesse and the goodnesse of thy greatnesse and all I humbly beg ask and crave in the name and for the sake and worthinesse of Jesus Christ the Righteous thy dear Son and my dear Saviour and Redeemer for whom my soul doth and shall ever praise thee and to him with thine own sacred holy divine and glorious Majesty and blessed spirit be now and alwayes given by me and all thine as all due is and to none else honour glory power might dominion and thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen Amen so be it Lord so be it Amen and Amen IF then all this thou wilt receive Thou must thy self of all bereave Thou must thy self for ever loose If Christ thou wilt for ever choose And if this choyse thou here dost make Christ will thy soul never forsake For if thou dost to all sin dye Thou shalt with him live Eternally Where all his glory thou shalt see And live in him and he in thee Ye shall no more be two but one As is the Father and the Son Eke with the Holy Ghost all three Shall give themselves to live in thee Ah ' blessed gift and ' blessed life Where all is peace no war no strife Where time shall never wear away Where is no night but all is day Which day shall never have amend And all our work shall only tend To give God praise for all his love Who sits above all powers above Those three in one and one in three That blessed were are and shall be Beginning they had never none And therefore end shall not be known All time that 's past is with them present And that to come is never absent Therefore in them thou all shalt see That passed is and what 's to be Which shall thee fill with such great joy's That thou shalt still lift up thy voyce And with the Angels and blessed sing Praise to our God Praise to our King Let all praise honour and glory be given to God the God of all glory from whom I have received all that I have both to will and to do FINIS True love in loving God or loving God truely True love in loving ones self or loving ones self truly True love in loving ones Neighbours or loving ones Neighbours truly False love to God or loving God falsely False love to ones self or loving ones self falsely False love to our Neighbour or loving our Neighbour falsely Prov. 30. 6. Add thou not unto his words lest he reprove thee thou be found a lyar See here the uglinesse basenesse and vilenesse of sin A spiritual soul Looking-glass or a glass to see the soul whether it be Spiritual or Carnal See here in some little measure what heaven is and what hell is Gal. 3 27.
shall see the foolishnesse of all worldly wisdom and the errours of my own waies the more I have of thee the less I shall have of my self the more thou shalt be pleased to give me the less I shall confess I deserve and the more thou shalt be pleased to lift me up the lower I will cast my self down Ah Lord God teach me to know my self that I may hate my self teach me to know thee rightly not in the history only but in the mystery also not only without but also within that I may love thee in fear and fear thee with true unfaigned sincere spotlesse love wean me O Lord from the world and the worlds loves let me die to the world and to all things in it that I may live to thee Ah take me from the world ere thou takest the world from me fit me for thy self ere thou takest me to thy self let my last daies be my best daies and my last thoughts my best thoughts let me not live one moment longer then to do thee service and let that only be my aim and my end let thy work be my wages and thy wages my work O Lord God in Jesus Christ I most humbly beseech thee to perfect and accomplish that good work which thou hast begun in me for all my hope trust and confidence is in thee that thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me Ah Lord do not leave me to my self at any time for I shall undo in one moment all thy doings so great is my skill power strength mind and will to all evil against all good But O my God do thou continue to restrain my will and constrain it to thy will and to the faithfull and entire obedience of all thy Laws and Divine Commandments Write thy Laws of grace in my heart and thy Statutes in my minde by the finger of thy holy Spirit and suffer me never through any temptation to depart from them but let them be a lanthorn to my feet and a light unto my paths to lead guide direct and govern me in the waies of righteousness and holiness that I may live the life of the righteous in the midst of this crooked froward and perverse generation Ah Lord suffer not the mountains of my sins nor the Rocks of unbelief to hinder thy mercies from descending into my heart by thy holy Spirit nor my prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith Let thy mercies draw me and thy judgements drive me that I may run and not grow weary that I may walk and not faint Be O Lord my God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins and let thy holy and most blessed Spirit of grace that knoweth thy whole holy and sacred mind and will lead me teach me direct me and instruct me in all the things I shall take in hand to do and give me O Lord I beseech thee those things and those things only that may draw me nearer and nearer unto thy self to make me thine and only thine that I may be wholly thine holy thine alwaies thine and ever thine that living here in thy fear I may die in thy favour and after death be neade partaker of Eternal life through Jesus Christ my blessed and alone Saviour and Redeemer for whom I desire ever to blesse thee as the Lord my Righteousnesse and to whom with thy glorious holy and sacred Majesty thy eternal and blessed Spirit of grace be given and ascribed by me and all thine as all due is Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving Now and for ever more Amen HEre followes my spiritual soul-Solaces Dictates or Gleanings of Gods Spirit set down in order and from time to time as it shall please the Lord in his goodnesse love and mercy to frame and fit my heart unto With a Journal of several passages as shall hereafter befall me by Providence whereby I may as in a Heavenly looking-glasse see know taste feel and be certainly assured of Gods loving and mercifull dealing towards me and of my daily approach and bringing near and nearer unto my long wished and desired home of heaven through and by the merits of my dear Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ there to sing for ever and ever Hallelujahs of Praise Glory and Thanksgiving unto his most Holy Blessed Eternal and Glorious Name Let O Lord the Meditations of my heart the Words of my mouth and the Works of my hands be ever acceptable in thy sight who art my strength and my Redeemer Spiritual Meditations Being the Gifts and Dictates of GODS SPIRIT Or The hearts Frame and Language that desires to be made Spiritual and to live spiritually 1. O God my God who art all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually therefore of thee in Jesus Christ do I humbly ask all things 2. Give me thy self O God and I will confess that I have all those things I ask 3. For unless thou givest me thy self I esteem that I have nothing though thou keepest nothing else from me 4. I know that there is no perfect perfection here and therefore we cannot live without sinne but O most gracious and most mercifull Father lay them not to my charge but bury them all past present and to come in the grave of my blessed Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ. 5. I will ever seek thee O God whom my soul loveth desire thee only and lay hold and depend on thee alone 6. Let O God the things of the world be unto me as I was unto thee whilst I was in the world out of thee even as a menstrous cloth and filthy rags 7. Thy mercies O God are the hid Treasures which my heart seeketh and longeth to enjoy 8. Thy love O Christ is much sweeter to my taste than the honey-comb and I desire it much more then gold yea above all the worlds treasure good and glory 9. I am sure I shall be able to rejoyce in and under any yea all afflictions if thou dost not afflict me O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ with thy absence 10. He is in heaven though on earth that doth truly love thee and only love thee and heaven is in him because thy love is in him because thou lovest him thy love O God being the heaven of heaven in heaven the best of heaven 11. Do unto me O God what thou wilt and do but only tell me that thou wilt it 12. Were I in hell for thy sake that is absent from thee I could and would rejoyce for it is my Heaven to please thee my God who hast and dost so much delight me 13. Let me be but esteemed in thy eies Oh my Jesus my sweet my dear and pretious dear delight and I shall not vallue but contemne all the ill looks of all others eies 14. I had much rather be a Paul a Job or a Lazarus then a Solomon
us both abide and let me dwell in thee 163. Let it never seperated be from thee nor me but of two let us be made one and never more be alone 164. My whole desire O Lord is to do thy will it is to thee and to remember thee 165. O Lord lead me by thy holy and blessed Spirit that I may never be led astray 166. Let me not O Lord do any thing by my self as for my self but all things by thy self and for thy self 167. Be thou alwayes with me that I may never be without thee O most holy and blessed Spirit my Sanctifier that I may be all and alwayes sanctified 168. Let me love thee O Lord more for thy service sake then for my souls sake 169. Let me desire and long for Heaven more to do thy will then to have my will 170. O Lord if thou wert not in Heaven I would not desire Heaven but my desire should be to be with thee 171. O Lord let the same desires be in me whilst I am on earth as shall be in me when I am in Heaven 172. The desire of my heart and soul O Lord thou knowest is only to thee and for thee and to be alwayes guided by thee 173. Increase this holy desire in me O Lord untill my soul and body shall be filled with thy blessed fulness 174. O sweet Jesus dwell in me ever and goe not out of me never for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave 175. I am most willing and ready to loose my life to preserve thee O Lord but not to preserve my life to loose thee 176. O Lord what thou hast given me which is all take when thou wilt and in what manner thou wilt 177. Make O Lord thine own Conditions with me I will make none with thee but to obey thee and serve thee on thine own terms 178. Teach me O Lord to know my self as thou knowest me and to hate my self for sin as thou lovedst me when I was in my sin 179. I desire to hate sin as the Devil to fear sin as Hell and to fly from sin as from thy wrath O great God 180. With thee I desire to leave and give my self O sweet Jesus receive me and accept of me 181. O Lord go with me where I am to go that I may be alwayes with thee never from thee nor do any thing without thee 182. O Lord let me only do what thou consentest unto 183. I fear sin much more then the Author of sin 184. Sin is my worst my greatest and my strongest Enemy 185. Give me Grace and strength O sweet Jesus to Conquer sin and I shall not fear all other Enemies 186. Had I but one sin unforgiven and thou should'st O Lord make me my own Iudge I should and could not do other wayes then condemne my self for ever into Hell 187. I desire ever to magnifie Laud praise and extoll thy glorious name O Lord God for making Iesus Christ my Iudge whom thou hast appointed also to be my advocate 188. Were I to choose I would choose no other for both 189. For sure I am I cannot loose my cause if he plead it nor be condemned he Iudging me who was Iudged and condemn'd for me 190. He dyed for me and therefore I shall not see that death 191. He hath paid my ransome and therefore I must be acquitted 192. He hath suffered and therefore I shall ever raign 193. He wore a Crown of Thornes that I might ever weare a Crown of Eternall and incomprehensible weight of Glory 194. He is risen and hath led Captivity Captive that I might be delivered for ever out of all Captivity 195. He is ascended up on high and therefore I am sure he will lift me unto him 196. He is gone to prepare a place for me therefore I am sure I shall be for ever well plac'd 197. He is sate down on the right hand of God and hath convinc'd and Conquer'd all my accusers and enemies therefore I shall in quiet rest and perfect peace sit down with him and by him 198. He hath all power and Authority given him by God therefore I am sure no power shall or can hurt me 199. He hath provided a place for all his Children and Servants therefore I will not be afraid nor fear 200. He hath promised and he is faithfull therefore I will believe and not doubt but rejoyce 201. O Lord let me fear nothing but thee nor love â—othing but thy feare 202. My love O Lord to thee is surely thy 〈…〉 203. O Lord put the vaile of thy fear before my eyes and my heart that I may not sin against thee by neâ—ther 204. Ah Lord God suffer me never more to doubt of thy love seeing thou hast so freely and willingly given the Son of thy love even thy dear only eldest naturall and beloved Son Jesus Christ to dye for me and in my place and stead 205. Ah sweet Jesus Be thou pleased so to take up thy aboad in my heart and to dwell there as I may alwayes find thee there to comfort me and to direct me how to walk well pleasing unto thee let me always hear thee speaking to me how I shall do every thing I take in hand to do so that all my thoughts words and deeds may tend only to thy honour and glory the Credit of the Gospel the good of others and the eternall Salvation of mine own soul. 206. Ah Lord give me grace in all afflictions to consider that its much less then I deserve and that thou mightest justly have sent them on me sooner 207. Hell O Lord I confess is only my desert what less thou givest me is more then I have or can deserve and less punishment then the least of my sins hath deserved 208. Therefore in all Conditions I desire to bless thy name and to praise thee with a thankfull contented and rejoycing heart 209. Le O Lord all thy afflictions teach me and tell me that thou art mindfull of me and that they are friendly yea Fatherly Visitations and tokens of thy Fatherly true love in Iesus Christ. 210. O Lord suffer me not to sell my portion in Heaven for any Portion of earth on earth the honours riches or pleasures thereof 211. Let even this Portion thy service and work O God be preferred by me and be dearer to me then all things of this world 212. A Christian once in Christ united to him cannot be taken out of him no more then the same water cast into the Sea can be taken out again for he is become a part of Christ even as the drops that fall into the Sea are forthwith a part thereof 213. Seeing then thou hast made me one with thee received me a little drop into thy self the Ocean of blessedness and of all goodness happiness and felicity My sweet Jesus I am sure I shall never be separated from thee 214. Let me O God so live the
God and how much more pains have I taken for earthly things then for Heavenly how much more delightsome have these things below and the remembrance of them been unto me then the things above how much sweeter hath sin been to me then grace and how have I bent my will against thy great and holy will in all things how willingly and how fast O Lord did I run in the wayes of Eternal destruction and how good Lord have I vehemently delighted and laboured to make others to commit the same sins and to do the same things how easily and how willingly did I believe the suggestions of the Devil and with what willingness have I left thy work and how often good Lord to do his nay which is yet worse how often have I tempted him the tempter to tempt me unto sin when I knew that the wages of sin was death even Temporal Spiritual and Eternall for body and soul doing my very utmost to destroy both But what O Lord are all these sins to those I do not to those I cannot remember and that both for greatness and multitude yea what are all the sins I have committed to those I would have committed had'st not thou in love and in mercy O most gratious loving and most mercifull Father in Jesus Christ restrained me and come in continually unto my help succour even when I was altogether helpless and succourless thou did'st O Lord own me when I would not own thee thou did'st run after me when I did my utmost to run from thee thou did'st O Lord continue knocking when I would not open to thee and wert'st contented such was thy endearing loving love unto me to stand at the dore of my heart without untill thy locks were wet with the dew of Heaven and when I was most pitiless then did'st thou most pity me and took'st me from my self and out of the power of all my adversaries and didâ—st enter with ferceable possession into my heart there to lodge sup and dwell for ever which though thou foundest to be more unclean then a dunghill and is not this enough to cause all the Creatures in Heaven and Earth to stand amazed and with wonder and astonishment to admire the condescention of so great a God as thou art Ah Lord God what could I more desire nay what could'st thou do more for me then thou hast done to bring me out of the death of sin to the life of grace out of the suburbs of Hell into the suburbs of Heaven me thinks Ah me thinks I may truly say out of Hell it self into Heaven it self such a vast difference there is such a blessed and glorious change there is already blessed and ever magnified and praised be thy ever blessed great and most glorious name of Jehovah my strength and my Portion Thou hast not only O Lord delivered me out of the pawes of that rearing Lyon the Devil who had almost devoured me but hast given me of thine own power and strength to overcome him to trample him under my feet and to despite him to his very face thou hast discovered unto me his falseness and malice and the wickedness and the deceitfulness of my own deceitfull wicked heart that did thus betray me Ah Lord what can I such a poor wretch as I am render unto thee for all thy benefits I am a worm and no man the greatest and the chiefest of sinners the very worst of the worst of men O Lord accept of what I have to give thee of these two poor mites my soul and body true O Lord I confess and acknowledge that they are not worthâ— to be put into thy rich Treasury but if thou wilt be pleased to stamp on them the glorious Image of thy Son Jesus Christ I am sure they will pass for currant coyne in thy Heavenly Court and thou thine own self wilt esteem them of thy peculiar Treasure O Lord set me as a seal upon thy heart and let thy love be setled upon mine that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee and let all my members and faculties be but as instruments to act thy holy and blessed motions Ah Lord God good as great and great as good when wilt thou by thine Almighty power utterly destroy and root out all sin out of me when shall the time O Lord come that it shall be Crucified unto me and I unto it when shall the time come that I shall see it no more when shall the time come that thou wilt O Lord give me a finall Victory over it and totally destroy it when Lord shall come that blessed day wherein I shall not sin when I shall put off sin as an old garment and never more put it on when all tears fears sighs and groans for sins shall be expell'd and extinquished when thou O Lord my sweet and blessed Iesus shalt only be my all and my all But grant good Lord though sin be in my heart that my heart be not in sin and though sin rule over me as a Tyrant let it Ah let it never raigne in me a moment as a Soveraigne and though I cannot live without sin yet good Lord for thy goodness sake let me live without consenting unto delighting in or approving of any sin whatsoever either in thought word or deed but let there be alwayes and continually in me a heedfull watchfull carefull Circumspect care though temptations fall on me let me not fall into temptation but deliver me from all evil O thou my Father which art in Heaven and cause me to work out my Salvation with fear and trembling and to labour more and more to make my calling and election sure before I goe hence and be no more seen And knowing Lord that thou hast in the abundance of thy love and mercy provided for me a Kingdome which cannot be shaken let me have grace in my heart to come before thee and to worship thee the true God with reverence and godly fear that I may alwayes run and not grow weary and walk and not faint write O Lord all thy Lawes of grace in my heart and thy Statutes of Love in my mind by the finger of thy holy and blessed Spirit that I may never goe astray to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits weane me O Lord from the world ere thou take me out of the world and whilst I do live in the world let me be dead to it and to all the things of it which are the honours riches and pleasures thereof the lust of the flesh the lust of the eye and the pride of life and give me those things and those things only which may make me thine and only thine that I may be alwayes thine and ever thine Teach me O Lord to use the world as if I used it not that I may not abuse it my self nor thee who hast given it me to use but not to abuse
may long to be dissolved and to be in Heaven to enjoy them there Ah to enjoy thee thee there 97. Seeing one drop or tast of them is so delitious Ah how delitiously and delightfully are they fed that feed on them continually and shall feed on them for ever and ever 98. Grant O my God that sins sweets be to me bitter and Heavens bitter be to me sweet and that I may alwayes prefer Heavens bitterest to sins sweetest and never to find any sweet in the sweets of sin 99. I had rather see Christ with spirituall eyes then in the flesh with the eyes of the flesh and to have him in my heart then in my arms 100. Christ only can make us spiritually hungry and he only can feed us with the bread of life from him we have our spirituall thirsting and he he only can give us to drink of those living waters the fountaine of life being in him only 101. Were there as many worlds to be offered me as there would be minutes from Eternity to Eternity I would not nay praised be God I could not give my hope and my interest in my Jesus to enjoy all their riches honours and pleasures unto all Eternity 102. For by how much he is above all things and more worth then all things by so much yet by so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for all things to God can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 103. For God is all things and I am sure of him and therefore I have all things sure 104. He that believes in Christ loves him and he that loves him fears him and he that fears him obeys him and he that loves fears obeys and believes in him must and will walk as he walked 105. We can both will and do our own wills which are evil but we can neither will nor do thy will O God which is all and only good 106. Give me then grace O God the God and giver of all grace to deny my own will to hate and forsake my own will that I wholly and perfectly do thy perfect and holy will 107. Let me then O God my God so will to do as I may only do thy will for my whole will is that thy holy will be doâ—e on me and in me that I may do thy will here on earth O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 108. Give me then thy self my sweet Jesus that I may please thy self for without thee I shall be still my self and displeasing still to thee 109. For I am all evil and thou O God art all good I am all Hell and thou art all Heaven Ah thou my God that can'st do all things turn my evil unto good that my Hell may be brought into thy Heaven 110. Joy in fear and by reason of fear for every man hath a double fear till he have perfect love that casteth out all fear 111. Fear causeth me to doubt and fear causeth me to believe fear bringeth me grief and fear bringeth me joy fear casteth me down to Hell and fear raiseth me up to Heaven fear causeth me to distrust and fear causeth me to trust fear affrights me with sadness and fear comforts me with rejoycings for if I did not fear I might justly be afraid if I did not fear the want of grace I might justly fear I had no grace if I did not fear falling I fear I should fall indeed But though through fear I am many times afraid yet I would not be without fear though I should be alwayes afraid for fear causeth me to put away fear and not to fear fear nor to be afraid of fear through fear I trust I beleive I rejoyce and I hope I shall be for ever brought out and freed from all fear 112. Happy is the man that feareth alwayes Prov. 28. 14. 113. Ah Lord my God that art most faithfull and most true make me I most humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ truly faithfull all my life that I may be faithfull even unto the death and then for ever to enjoy thy gratious promise of that Crown of life 114. Make me faithfully obedient unto thee in all things O Lord all my life that at death I may receive thy faithfull promise of that Crown of glory and life that I may ever live to glorifie thee O Lord of all glory by an Eternall and Everlasting life 115. Any thing of all that man can do as man God will not accept but all things that God doth man should accept and likewise know and beleive that he doth all things and therefore ought accept all things 116. Mans best all all mans best is worse then all but Gods least all the least of God is above all and more worth then all 117. When I have thee my God I have all yea all that I would have But Ah when I want thee when I have thee not when thou art absent and seemest to be departed or but estranged from me I want all am without all and possess nothing even nothing at all though I have even all other possessions 118. Let my all O Lord be all in thee That thou maist be all unto me 119. I am much more offended that I have offended my God then I am afraid that my God is offended with me 120. I much more fear my sins to come then my sins past because my fear for my sins past is already past but my fear is alwayes present for my sins to come yea it is my only fear and that which afrights me only 121. When I consider and ponder on the much joy that I enjoy to the little I deserve to enjoy and yet that this much is little to that which I hope and believe I shall enjoy Ah how my heart is filled and ravished with unspeakable joy 122. All glory be given to thee O God the God and giver of all gifts of all grace and of all glory Amen Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1656. O Lord God I most humbly and most hartily beg and beseech thee be thou gratiously pleased in love and in mercy in and through Iesus Christ to be with me thy poor and unworthy Servant here in this place where thou hast by thy Providence brought me at all times as thou hast been with me in all other places at other times that thy power and thy might may be seen in me and thy holy and blessed spirit leading guiding governing and directing me in all things that I shall take in hand to do that I may by grace walk uprightly in the mid'st of this crooked froward and perverse generation and that they seeing my good works that is thou O God working in me they may glorifie thy great and holy name O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Ah Lord suffer me not here following to write my own words but thine not seek my self with selfish love but thy self with true sincere unfaigned
Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing what ever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that Seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the daies of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my daies unto the very last hower of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witnesse a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Iesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that triest the heart and searchest the reigns thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as willingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good and blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty maker giver and preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the ends and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatnesse of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that all flesh may be converted and brought home unto thee that their fouls may live and not die eternally Remember O Lord God thine ancient Covenant with Abraham thy Friend and pity our elder sister the Jews suffer them not Ah Lord suffer them not longer to wander as sheep without a Shepherd but bring them home Ah Lord bring them home to thy fold and to thy flock and be thou the Shepherd and life of their Souls Open O Lord the eies of their understanding that they may know thee the true God and Iesus Christ whom thou hast sent that they may behold him whom they have crucified by their sins and may mourn as one mourneth for his only son and be in bitternesse as for a first-born have they stumbled that they should fall God forbid but rather through their fall Salvation is come unto the Gentiles for to provoke them unto Jealousie Now if the fall of them be the riches of the World and the diminishing the riches of the Gentiles how much more O Lord their fulnesse and if the casting away of them be the reconciling of the World what shall the receiving of them be but life from the dead for if the first fruit be holy the lump is also holy and if the root be holy so are the branches because of unbelief they were broken off and if they abide nor still in unbelief hast thou not promised O God to graft them in again and seeing thou wert O Lord pleased to graft us into the good Olive-tree that were wild by nature Ah when Ah Lord when wilt thou grast in again these into their own Olive tree which be the natural branches for blindnesse is happened to Israel until the fulnesse of the Gentiles be come in and so all Israel shall be saved as concerning the Gospel they are Enemies for our sakes but as touching the Election they are beloved for the Fathers sake for the gifts and calling of God are without repentance bring in then O Lord bring in then the fulnessse of us the Gentiles that the number of shine Elect may be accomplished and that man of fin destroyed with an utter total and eternal destruction Break O Lord the power of the Turk and all thy Churches adversaries destroy the pride of Rome and root out Antichrist O Lord I beseech thee out of all our hearts and permit not that any of thy children be led away by Errors Heresies Sects or any false worship but let thy Word O Lord and Gospel be preached and taught throughout the whole Earth in purity and sincerity as thy Word and with the powerful assistance of thine own Holy Spirit Ah Lord cause it to work efficaciously on the hearts of all hearers that they may hear it with fear and trembling even as thine own Word and by it be convinct of sin of righteousnesse and of Judgment and to this end O Lord God be thou pleased to give a double portion of thy Holy Spirit unto all the Ministers ther of that they may preach it in the power of the Holy Ghost not fearing the face of men being confidently assured that their work and labour shall not be in vain in the Lord. Ah Lord in much mercy propagate thy Gospel where it is planted and be thou pleased to plant it where it is not and send forth faithful Labourers into thy Vineyard and harvest for thou knowest O Lord God that the Harvest is great but the Labourers are few Ah Lord suffer not I most humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ that the wild Boar of the wood pluck up the roots nor the little Foxes to cut off the branches but blast O Lord all the designs and machinations that are any where hatching against thy Church and People and bring them to nought and cause their Enemies which are thy Enemies to fall into the Pits and snares which they have laid for them do good O Lord to thy Sion and build up the walls of thy Jerusalem do thine own work in thine own good due and appointed time and let thine own arm O Lord bring us Salvation In a more particular and most special manner O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ be mindful and have mercy upon the Land of my Nativity Pardon O Lord the Nation and particular sins thereof past present and to come of Magistrates Ministers and People our sins O Lord of blood our sins of unthankfulnesse ingratitude and rebellion against thee our God our sins of covetousnesse which is Idolatry our sins of pride and hypocrisie of self-love and hatred of
unto thee and to lead them by the hand that they slip not 159. Ah Lord suffer me not to do as do the men of the World to labour to heap up and gather these things that profit not and to leave behind me much of these low earthly outward things that endure but for a season but let me rather cast off these garments bespotted in the flesh and follow thee naked and gather up and distribute those true and heavenly riches which shall make the Soul glad and rich and honourable for ever that my heirs may be heirs of Heaven and not of earth 160. Ah Lord Let all the Worlds all be all unto me as I was unto thee when in it and of it even as a menstruous cloth and my all not worth any thing at all 161. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind earth any more with an earthly but with a heavenly mind and that my heart my be alwaies there where my true only and everlasting treasure is and that I may live in the World as if I were not of the World and use these things below as low things even as if I used them not 162. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind these things my self which I teach and labour to have others forget and not to mind and so save them but perish my self 163. Ah Lord full of grace give me grace to shew forth unto all that all my covetings ambition and longings are for the things above and not for these things here below and that these things here are fit and only fit for such as have their heatts and affections here 164. Ah Lord sure yea most sure it is that those that are risen with thee will seek the things that are above even where thou fittest at the right hand of God and that those that do it not are not yet risen but lye dead in the grave of their sins 165. Ah Lord suffer not the World to deceive any that their Souls may not be deceived and they perish for ever in their sins 166. But bring them all home Ah Lord bring them all home unto thy self and betroth them all to thy self here by grace that thou dost intend to marry unto thy self hereafter in glory 167. Ah Lord I confesse it is not my study nor my care nor yet my careful study nor my studious care that teacheth me wisdom so as to know thee or to learn what thou knowest but it is thy self O Lord it is thy self that givest me that wisdom to know thy self and learning to know what thou knowest for who but thy self hath that wisdom to know thy self or learning in himself from himself to learn what thou O Lord God knowest 168. Ah teach me then so O my good God that art Israels teacher that I may tell henceforth Devil World and flesh that I will no more be taught by them nor follow their teachings 169. I Know O Lord I know that the teachings of men no nor all mens teachings are not able to teach me to know any good but I know that thy teachings O God are able to teach me all good and how to do all good 170. I will rejoyce therefore in what my God can do because he can and therefore I know assuredly that he will do all the things for me that shall be for my good 171. And therefore I will not fear what men can do against me no nor Devils neither for they all can do nothing at all that can hurt me 172. But all my fear shall alwaies be to fear thee O Lord who art my Lord and my fear for to fear thee truly bringeth me true joy yea unspeakable joy 173. For to fear thee as we ought fear thee is to keep thy Commandments to keep thy Commandments with fear is the whole duty of man 174. Ah Lord God I know that thou dost not hear us for our words sake because they are but the words of men nor for our work sake because they are but mens works nor for our own sake because we have forsaken thee but for thy great names sake which is thy self and therefore for thine own sake O Lord I know that thou dost only hear us 175. Ah Lord my Lord my God and my all and my only good Let me alwaies so speak unto thee by thee as thou maiest alwaies hear me and so hear thee as I may alwaies love and fear thee yea make thee all my fear and my love 176. The Spirit of the Lord or the fruits of the Lords Spirit is love joy peace longsuffering gentleness goodness faith meekness temperance lowlinesse of mind humble patient bountiful and rich in good works forgiving and forgetting all injuries and wrongs beareth reproaches and scandals rejoycingly doth hurt nor violence to no man eschueth all evil and followeth hard after all good with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life serving the Lord constantly frequentâ—y circumspectly obediently willingly chearfully rejoycingly and perseveringly hath peace with all men loveth all men with brotherly kindnesse and doth all good possible to all men especially unto those that are of the household of Faith 177. He that hath the Spirit of the Lord he is faithful and valiant for the Lord fighting his battels couragiously cheerfully gladly rejoycingly and perseveringly unto his lives end he doth not his work negligently nor slothfully but diligently and willingly for his work is his delight his meat and drink yea his Heaven on Earth is to do his Lords will on Earth as it is done in Heaven he desireth no other wages for his work than his work he would continually do his work for his works sake for his yoak is easie to him and his burthen light 178. He that hath the Spirit of the Lord abiding in him he is no tale bearer tatler or busie body he medleth not in other mens matters condemneth no man hateth no man wrongeth no man doth violence to no man speaketh evil of no man thinketh evil of no man but alwaies worst of himself 179. He that dwelleth with Gods Spirit dwelleth quietly and peaceably because all things are to him all alike for he knoweth that all things come from God his God that his Providence ordereth all things and therefore he knoweth that all things shall alwaies work altogether for his good yea his very sins which God hateth and only hateth and which he himself hateth above all things and more than all things yet these are not for his worse but for his better and for the increase of his joy comfort and rejoycing in the Lord who bringeth him out of darknesse into light and turnerh his evil into good for God is now become his God and his Father and loveth him as his Son and therefore will not see his iniquities nor transgressions but passeth by all his sins looking on him not as a pardoned sinner but as a son that never sinned God seeth his best but will not see his worst his good but not his hatred
which the wind driveth too and fro as he was made of nothing so in a moment he turns to nothing their breath goeth forth they rerurn to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish he is as the grass of the earth and as the flower of the field which to day is and to morrow is not he is so perishable as he can be compared to nothing but to nothing 194. This Spirit sheweth us that those things which we see not and cannot see be unto us as if they were and these things which we see are as if they were not because we value them not but as Pilgrims and strangers we seek a Country an Habitation not made with hands Eternal in the Heavens 195. This Spirit openeth unto our sence reason and understanding that which no man can shut and shutteth that which no man can open this spirit declareth unto us what the mind and will of God is for our good and worketh in us a holy conformity in all our minds wills and affections to be carefully studious and studiously careful to walk in all well pleasing before him it maketh us to press forward to comprehend that for which we are also comprehended of Christ Jesus our Lord it worketh in us a fear that increaseth our love and such love as casteth out all fear it maketh us to do all that we do for him and not for our selves loving him much more for himself than for our own selves and more for his glory then for our own glory if such long to be with him it is to do him more and better service for here we can know but in part and do but in part but there we shall know him as he is to be known and do for him all things which were fore-ordained and appoynted by him before that we were and that is to possesse him wholly and holy as he is that is as much as is possible for us Creatures 196. This Spirit warmeth our hearts so with his divine Love and maketh us partakers of his divine nature that daily we grow more and more conformable and like unto him and to comprehend and know more and more what is the length the bredth the heighth of the depth of his love to his children and servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor expresse and it so filleth their hearts with such Joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegrome arrayeth us with even his own Righteousnesse and true holinesse this filleth our Lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voyce come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his sons and daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that pleaseth him pleaseth them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to blesse and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come unto Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is allwaies open for sin and for uncleannesse this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the losse of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousnesse wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully cheerfully and patiently all that is commanded them alwaies saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy servant heareth and with David my heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptable as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my soul desireth to have on Earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Hallelujahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberlesse number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who
would not have his Kingdom increase and Satans decrease who would not fight for Christ against all his enemies and adversaries knowing that they are already conquered and made his foot-stool who would not labour to undeceive poor silly Souls that go on so fast and run so swift in the waies of Eternal destruction and whose feet make hast to death and who drink up iniquity as it were water and rush into all evil as the horse rusheth into the battel and that rise early and go to bed late that they may yet sin the more and notwithstanding they commit not half the evil that they would they are thus ensnared to their own hurt Ah who would not labour to free such poor creatures as are slaves and drudges and serve such a Master as gives such wages as is Hell death and destruction eternally both for body and Soul Ah who is not an Orator fit enough to set forth the uglinesse and the filthinesse of sin which thus defileth the heart in which God so much delighteth and desireth to dwell and which depraves them of his most blessed and most glorious Image and makes them the Image of the Devil instead of being a member of Christ it makes them a member of Satan instead of being a child of God and an heir of Heaven yea coheir with Jesus Christ it makes them a child of wrath an heir of hell and coheir with the Devil and his Angels of Gods eternal and unplacable wrath and vengance which shall ever burn them but never consume them for God himself will laugh at their great calamity and mock when their fear cometh Ah who would not rejoyce to do such a work as to hinder poor Souls from having such a portion as this and bring them home to Jesus Christ who is the great Doctor who will give them this his Holy Spirit to teach them lead them direct and instruct them in those things which belong to their eternal peace and Salvation which is in all truth and holinesse 198. Thus are all those in whom this Spirit of God dwelleth made partaker of his own holy and divine nature to love the brethren even with this true sincere and free love that they may for ever and ever enjoy that true and free Love of God which shall make them for ever free from all miseries and pains and of all pleasures and joyes enjoying him who enjoyeth all things in himself from himself with whom is all joy unspeakable joy fulnesse of joy and at whose right hand are pleasures for ever more 199. Thus blessed and for ever blessed are all those that have this blessed Spirit of God for their Portion on Earth which shall lead them as the Sons of God unto God their Father and their Portion in Heaven who is the Portion the Father and the everlasting Rest of all the blessed 200. Ah blessed condition to be thus blessed by the Spirit of God yea by the God of all Spirits having hearts so full of true love and charity as to long labour and desire to have all others thus blessed with themselves and as themselves that are so full of the Love of God as to love all others as they love themselves and would have all beloved by him Ah Holy Father increase this thy love in the hearts of all thy children and servants here on Earth that we may together go hand in hand witnessing that the love wherewith we love one another is from thy Love and that we live in thee and thou in us who art all Love even the God of Love and that it is from thy Love and the living of thy holy and blessed Spirit in us that we thus love or love thus 201. Ah Lord God for thine own great glorious and holy names sake take not this thy Holy Spirit the Comforter from me but let it ever abide and dwell in me that I may alwaies go forth before thee rejoycing as the Bride rejoyceth in her Bridegroom for thou O Lord knowest my many weaknesses and imperfections and that I cannot do any thing well pleasing unto thee without the assistance of this thy Holy Spirit for that my heart is all evil only evil and continually evil leave me therefore O Lord this thine holy and blessed Spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter that I may be ever led in the waies of all truth and holinesse which may conduct me unto thy dwelling place which is all peace rest holinesse blessednesse and eternal life and happinesse 202. Here followeth a short Admonition Exhortation or advice unto all carelesse sinners that prize not this life or living of Gods Holy Spirit in them that they would no longer quench its motions but come out of their sins and tast and see how gratious the Lord is 203. Ah poor most poor and most miserable man for thou thou only art truely miserably poor that art Christlesse though thou aboundest in Corn Wine and Oyl though thou farest delicately every day and art arraied with Purple Scarlet and fine linnen though thou feedest on the delicasies of Egypt and enjoyest all this Worlds good the honours riches and pleasures thereof though thou lyest on the beds of Ivory and hast thy Palaces bedeckt with the gold of Ophir and the pretious Pearls and Diamonds of the Orient though Princes should be thy servants and Kings daughters thy maidens yet remember for all this thou shalt dye and come to Judgement thine honour and thy riches shall not save thee but in the day of thy distresse they shall take themselves wings and flye away from thee miserable comforters are all such comforts Ah put not put not thy trust then on such things as in a moment ere thou art aware shall be taken from thee or thou from them 204. Awake awake from the dead thou carelesse man why sleepest thou arise and Christ shall give thee light and life why Ah why wilt thou be so obstinate as thus wittingly knowingly and wilfully neglect so great Salvation and be thus idle all the day long dost thou not know that the night is coming wherein no man shall work and the day when thou shalt say thou hast no pleasure in them Remember Ah Remember thou that sleepest in security that drinkest in iniquity as water and vanity as with cart-ropes that sayest to thy Soul eat drink and take thy fill of pleasures and to morrow shall be as this day Ah thou fool when wilt thou be wise may not thy Soul this night be taken from thee whose then shall those things be and what Ah what shall become of all those thy vain pleasures and delights thou canst not carry any of them with thee but as thou camest into the World naked so thou shalt naked return from earth thou cam'st and to earth thou shalt again return thine honour shall not go down into the pit with thee nor thy money neither 205. Deceive not then Ah deceive not then thy self any longer with those vain things which are
Psalms and Hymns and spiritual Songs singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord and whatsoever ye do in word and deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God and the Father by him so then when Christ who is our life shall appear then shall ye also appear with him in glory 211. These are and I trust through Gods free grace in Jesus Christ shall ever be the longings and desires of the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart for all you that shall read it and for all the Israel of our God and I hope and shall pray the Lord in the infinitnesse of his goodnesse to supply all my defects with the teachings and comforts of his own spirit who is the only teacher guider leader and Comforter Ah seek him then whil'st he may be found and God I hope will give him thee 212. Now the peace of God which passeth all understanding keep your hearts and minds in the knowledg and love of God and of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord and the blessing of God Almighty the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost be with you and dwell in your hearts abundantly to the praise and glory of his holy name the good of others and the comfort of your own souls Now henceforth and for ever more Amen 213. I had much rather be the poorest in the world even a Job or a Lazarus O Lord for thy sake then the richest of the world yea then to have all the world for my own sake 214. For I have all that I would have when I have all that thou O Lord my God wilt have me to have 215. I esteem all even as nothing at all if it come not O Lord from thee all 216. Alas alas what and how much nothing is this worlds all if we have not Christs all that is all Christ. 217. Let me then O my sweet Jesus have all that thou hast and I will not care whether I have any thing at all of all that the world hath 218. He that hath Christ for his Christ is heir of all things and sure of all things but he that hath him not is heir of nothing but what is worth nothing and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing and therefore all that he is sure of is surely nothing but a very nothing 219. For what man hath to day to morrow flyes away 220. Ah Lord my Lord give me I most humbly beseech thee that which will endure for ever and not that which perisheth ever 221. That O Lord that which cannot be destroyed and not that O Lord not that which will destroy me unlesse it be destroyed by thee 222. Give me first O Lord give me first a heart according to thine own heart and then I am sure I shall use the world not as I would but as thou wilt 223. Were I as certain to goe to Hell which God forbid as I am certain through the merits of Jesus Christ to goe to Heaven I would whil'st I should be on earth walk in the wayes to Heaven and never goe out of them till God had cast me into Hell 224. O Lord that knowest all things thou knowest O Lord God thou knowest how I love thy Lawes and how I delight to walk in thy ways and to keep thy Commandments with my whole heart faithfully thou knowest O Lord is all the delight and joy of my heart yea my hearts only joy and delight 225. Blessed be God though I have many years tasted fed on and lived in the pleasures of sin and but few years in the sweet delights and pleasures of grace yet I am well content and willing to lose to cast off and utterly and for ever to forsake all sins sweets for graces bitter all sins robes for graces raggs and all sins pleasures and honour for Christs dishonour for I am now henceforth resolved to be Christs Servant ever and sins never Ah never never 226. Blessings are in the mouth and they proceed from the heart of him that feareth the Lord. 227. But curses come from him that knoweth him not 228. He that is Wise in his own Conceit is a Fool. 229. The Righteous man blesseth and is never weary so doing But the wicked curseth and is alwayes empty as Hell 230. Shame shall fall on him that wisheth mischief to his Neighbour without a cause 231. But glory and honour shall be the Portion of him that loveth him 232. If thine Enemy sin rebuke him but let not thy countenance goe along with him 233. He that feareth the Lord no evil shall befall him for he is kept safe 234. Wisdome glory and honour is the Portion of him that waiteth at his Gates 235. Behold him that loveth the Lord and thou shalt see all his works to prosper 236. Regard not the evil of affliction on him that submitteth himself thereunto for it shall prove the joy of his heart 237. Gladnesse is alwayes in the heart of him that loveth Righteousness because he feareth alwayes 238. As hony is to the tast so is holiness to him that loveth Righteousnes 239. Dwell in peace and Gods love shall abide with thee 240. Be watchful over all thy ways so shall all thy doings prosper 241. Glad the heart of the mourner and thou shalt anoynt him with sweet oyle 242. Rejoyce thou in the day of affliction and let thy heart be merry for the Lord hath heard thy vows 243. Give thy self up to learn his wisdome and refuse not his teachings when they come upon thee 244. Bind them upon thy shoulders lean upon them with thy whole might and they shall support thee 245. Grieve not the spirit of thy God who delighteth in thee 246. Give thy heart to know him so shalt thou be filled with his praises 247. Learn his ways and goe not out of his paths for the delighteth to delight thee 248. Ah love him with thy whole heart and mind that all thy days may be the days of joy and gladnesse 249. Whereever the Lord is there is bountyfulnesse and peace that passeth all understanding 250. Leane upon him and he shall support thee give up all thine all that is thy care unto him and he shall provide for thee things that shall never fail 251. He that hath him hath life and shall never see death 252. Wilt thou be merry give him thine heart let him direct it and follow him wheresoever he leadeth thee 253. His wayes are wayes of pleasure and his paths bring home to live with himself 254. Joy is in his Gates and no mourners come nigh him 255. He filleth the empty he watereth the dry and thirsty ground there is no want vvhere he raigneth 256. Rejoyce then in the day of thy trouble and let thy heart be merry for he heareth all thy groanings and will compassionate thy bewailings 257. Let him alone strive not for all thy doings without him are as the puff of a winde which is
not seen 258. He that submitteth to his wayes shall find his doings advantagious for the knoweth of what we are made and all things that come from him bring joy where he is the giver 259. His mercyes are as the Sun they dispel the Cloudes of afflictions and warm the heart with the fire of love 260. He can do what he listeth there is none can hold his strong arme but all must bend when he Commands 261. Trust then in the Lord who is thy strength and in the holy one of Israel who hath given himself to thee and for thee he will provide for thee he will satisfie all the desires of thy soul and cause thy heart mightily to rejoyce in his goodness and to triumph in all and over all things that come upon thee for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it and he will do it according to the former promises of his holy Spirit made unto thee in the day of thy straights and watns 262. Praise thou the Lord for great is his goodness towards thee and his loving kindness hath no end 263. This is thy Portion from the Almighty Amen Amen 264. Praise his holy name live for ever in his love dwell in peace 265. O Lord I know that thou hearest not my Prayers for their worthiness but they are worthy because thou hearest them 266. I am not worthy for any worthiness that sin me but for thy worthiness O my Jesus and my good God that flows from thy exceeding bounty into me 267. I know that thou dost not love me O Lord for any lovelinesse that is in me or because I love thee but I love thee O my Lord who art my God because thou knowest me 268. And because that thou dost love me now I know that thou did'st love me ever and therefore wilt love me ever even unto the end and yet I know well that there is nor shall be no end of thy love it is endless for ever and for ever 269. Thy love O Lord I know is like thy self nay thy love is thy self for thou art not only a loving God but a God of love and therefore thy love is as thy self had never beginning nor shall never have end 270. Ah blessed love that is thus durable and unchangable and happy ye thrice happy he that is thus beloved being sure to be beloved ever thus 271. If a man or woman in the flesh hath unspeakable joy pleasure and delight to be devorst from one which they hare beyond and more then any thing and are instead thereof marryed unto one which they dearly love yea which they love more dearly then any thing in the flesh 272. Ah what joyes Ah what delights and ravishing pleasures shall they have and have all they that shall be and are devorst from their old Husbands sin whom they hate as the Devil and fear and fly from as from Hell and are marryed unto their new new beloved Husband Christ Jesus whom they love above and more then all things as their lives as their souls yea as their Heaven for he is the life of their life the soul of their soul and the Heaven of their Heaven being their soul and bodyes Eternal Everlasting rest peace portion happiness felicity and blessednesse in Heaven for 273. There are no joyes like to spiritual joys nor sorrow like to the spiritual mans sorrow when he mourns under that intolerable burthen of sin for a wounded Conscience who can bear 274. The unregenerate man cannot love sin and hate grace as the regenerate man loves grace and hates sin for he hath the love of God in him his Image of holiness righteousness is renewed in him day by day he loves all his gifts and graces with his own love perfectly and so he hates all and every sin in thought word and deed which is in sincerity 275. The fleshly Voluptuous man cannot love the pleasures of the flesh as the spiritual man prizeth and loves and delights and rejoyceth in the pleasures of the spirit 276. The Wicked cannot hate the Righteous and the just so much as the just and the Righteous love the wicked though they detest abhor and hate all their sins for they know that a Saul to day may be a Paul to morrow c. They cannot see the inside of any nor know their hearts therefore they judge none but themselves knowing with what measure they mete it shall be measured to them again they also call to mind and remember what they were themselves in time past how they lived after the flesh and minded the things of the flesh c and that where sin hath abounded grace shall much more abound that 't is by free grace that we are saved Eternal life is the gift of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and we are all unprofitable Servants when we have done all 277. Sin then is Opposite Capital and grand Enemy to holinesse as hatred is to love as darkness is to light as Hell is to Heaven as the Devil is to God 278. See then and consider how they are opposite and take notice of their contrary workings and in the end how and by what means it is that the good destroys the evil and is the Conquerour and the greatest 279. Sin is Eternal darkness and death Holiness is Eternal light and life sin shuts Heavens Gates and sets wide open Hells Holiness shuts the Gates of Hell and sets wide open those of Heaven sin wounds holiness heals sin casts down to Hell holyness raiseth up to Heaven sin kills holiness causeth to live the sinner hates God and all good and most of all God because he is good and because he is God yea because he is such a holy God as he is and he would that he were not that sin might be and might be free but the Saint or Regenerate loves all good and hates all evil and loves most of all God because he is God a holy and a just God all good yea because he is such a God as he is and as well for that he punisheth sin with Eternal death as because he rewardeth holiness with Eternal life after he hath given it with his free grace of his free will sin shall be ever in Hell as well as holiness for ever in Heaven the sinner in Hell shall be despighted because he lives to sin and cannot dye nor flye from sin and because that God lives and thus punisheth him with life and will not suffer death to have power over him he sees death to fly from him ye so far as it will never be nearer him then it is so that he shall ever live thus the Saints rejoyce to live because they live in God and for God a Saint loves God because he hath thus rewarded him by making him to live such a life as this that is to his praise and because God was ever thus and shall be thus ever he knoweth he shall be ever so also death is fled from him and
Ah Lord God how much better is it to see thy sweet thy blessed and most amiable face in thine Ordinances and in duties than the face of the most glorious Angel in glory 294. Yea Lord yea thy back parts here I much prefer to see and behold than all their faces 295. Surely a day yea one hour of a day is to be preferred of communion with thee before the enjoyment of all things out of thee all our dayes 296. For in thee O Lord in thee is all things but out of thee is nothing desirable 297. All sweets but thine are bitter 298. But O Lord how savoury yea how pleasant and sweet are thy bitter when thou seasonest them with grace 299. Thy Voyce rejoyceth O Lord more that Soul to whom it speaketh peace than all the joyes of the World can to any man if he did alwaies and ever enjoy all their sweets and never enjoy any of their bitter 300. Above all things and more than all things my soul desireth thee O Lord God who art the Lord of all things 301. Loving of God is knowing of him fearing of him is adoring of him choosing him shews a delight in him running after him is prizing of him seeking of him shews our longing desire for him to hunger and thirst for him is imbracing of him with eager covetings to serve him is to honour him to rejoyce in him is to glorifie him to praise him is to magnifie him and to worship him is to exalt him 302. It is better and more profitable many times to be silent than to speak for the eagernesse of our desires to speak takes away and hinders us from comprehending what we do hear so as we consider not what is spoken so much as what we desire and would speak 303. But Ah how much better is it to hear the Spirit of God speak to our hearts than the spirit of man to our ears or our selves to our selves to consult with the Spirit and to talk with the Spirit than with the flesh either our own or others though they have the Letter yea and the Spirit too 304. For what we hear from God in the Spirit by meditation is usually engraven and written as it were with the pen of a diamond on and in the heart by the finger of God but the words of men are even as man whose breath is in his nostrils soon blown out soon put out emptyed and brings forth nothing comes to nothing being a part of that whole man nothing nothing man 305. Ah Lord God thou knowest how willingly I would be deaf and not hear any of mans words so I could or were alwaies to hear thee and dumb to and not able to speak to man so I might and were fit and able alwaies to speak unto thee I would willingly be blind to all things and see nothing of all the things out of thee so I could alwaies Ah so I could alwaies see thee I would willingly most willingly lose all things to have all thee or to be all thine enjoy nothing at all but thee O God in Christ but thee but thee for enjoying thee I shall be compleat and enjoy all things for thou art all things desireable yea thou only art all my desires being all things 306. The greatest work we can do for God I conceive is to destroy sin and to endeavour to extinguish it and root it out of the greatest sinners is the greatest work as it is greater glory to God speaking as men to forgive many sins and great ones than few and small ones and when we are most tempted or enticed then to labour most to overcome them in our selves and in others Ah then then the work is great and well wrought and be sure great shall be thy recompence of reward if thou so livest and actest thine own heart is not able to conceive be thou what thou wilt how great thy wages shall be even here 307. But in Heaven we shall be filled with all joy unspeakable joy fulnesse of joy and have no desire for any other for any more than those which we shall enjoy and yet I conceive that every moment it shall increase by and from the reflections on Gods most glorious and holy attributes the Soul being not able to comprehend them all at once and yet she shall never at any time desire more nor conceive that more is or can be than she enjoyeth we shall be alwaies so full of all being filled with God who is all and therefore we cannot be capable of emptinesse or of any want and so by consequence of no desire such is the Souls blessednesse but how much more thou only O God who art not only wise but Wisdom it self knowest and none else doth or can being not able to comprehend thee to receive thee or to know thee as thou truly art being an invisible and incomprehensible Ocean and Fountain of all good blessednesse felicity peace rest joy eternity and eternal happinesse thou only O God comprehendest all things and hast all things in thy self from thy self thy self only being all things and yet both much more and much above all things 308. I would much rather think on nothing then on any thing out of or besides God 309. To think on nothing me thinks are good thoughts in comparison of any other thing out of God and besides God 310. Ah how sweet are those sweets not to think that is to resolve and intend never to tast more of the bitter sweets of sin 311. Ah how sweet a thing is it not to sin though a man do else nothing or nothing else but to keep his thoughts from sin 312. Sinful thoughts are harsh and hard thoughts and cannot be savoured or digested but by those that live in sinne and sinne in them 313. Feed me O Lord feed me continually with the breathings of thy Holy Spirit which is the true bread and water of life the heavenly Mannah which the Angels still feed on with joy and delight and are never weary the blessed solace themselves with but do not surfeit the Saints here below continually hunger thirst gape pant and longa after and cannot with any other thing or things subject or object be fully satisfied 314. To fare delitiously every day is to feed on and fill our hearts thoughts and affections with the Love and kindnesse or the loving kindnesse of God in Christ. 315. To be arrayed gorgeously and gloriously is to be arrayed with humble and low thoughts of our selves esteeming our own righteousnesse unrighteousnesse and our very best bad enough to condemn us into Hell for ever but to have high heavenly thoughts of the righteousnesse and merits of Jesus Christ and that through his holiness worhiness and perfect obedience we shall be made perfectly holy and eternally happy 316. To be right Honourable and truly Honoured is to be Gods children and servants sons and daughters to him who is King of Kings and Lord of Lords 317. To have
know and to know feelingly in truth and sincerity that Jesus is the Christ our Christ and our Jesus to anoynt us and to sanctifie and save us to be unto us Wisdome Rightousnesse Justification and Redemption 20. O my soul my soul flye from all other knowledg that hinders this as from madness and folly as from mad folly and foolish madness brutishness and stupidity and choose to learn and learn to choose this one thing needfull that is to know Jesus Christ and him Crucified for thee for thee my soul and body in thy place and stead not with the knowledg of the letter but of the spirit for thus to know him is life yea life Eternal Eternal and Everlasting life 21. How willing Ah how willing is that soul that receives any thing from God to lay it out for him that is to give it unto others he would indeed be alwayes receiving and God and his own heart only knows how willing he is to be alwayes giving even as if he desired and begged for others and not for himself and as it s freely given him so doth he freely or would if he could freely give it unto others he will not Ah he will not he cannot consent to napkin it up or hide it he would be thus rich and wise and honourable but it is to do good works as it were to make others such when others are what they should be he praiseth God much on their behalf and rejoyceth with unspeakable joy for the glory of God is his only rejoycing he minds in some manner yet and often too more others welfare then his own because it seems to him that he cannot alone do what he would have done for his God therefore as soon as he receives this Heavenly treasure he desires to shew himself to be the Treasurer of Heaven to distribute it unto those that want that lack it that are hunger starved and when he meets with such and perceives and finds that they feed heartily and favour it Ah how doth he bless God for thus blessing him and them for thus using him as an instrument as his hand and mouth as it were to give unto them and to help their infirmityes but he gives it not as his own but as his Masters goods for he chargeth then strictly to account themselves Debtors to his Lord not to him for he alwayes to all acknowledgeth to have nothing but what he hath received he will by no means hide his light under a bushel but puts it on a Candlestick that it may be seen his only amibition is so to traffick with it that it may redound to his Masters profit and advantage that being he is certaine he shall ever have a well being that is be received into and ever to abide in the joy of his Lord yea into the Lord of his joy 22. Ah Lord empty my self of my self my heart of my own heart my affections of my own affections my thoughts of all my own thoughts that I may be filled with thee who fillest all Creatures with all the good things they enjoy be thou O Lord be thou all my all all my honour wisdome strength tiches pleasures life contentment and happy dayes for even then when I have all things and have thee not thou knowest O Lord that I have nothing for that I esteem them all even nothing at all but when I have thee Ah when I have thee I have all things that I would have that my soul desireth or can ask or crave 23. Give me but thy self O Lord O Lord give me but thy self and then give me what thou wilt to do to be or to suffer for thee I accept Ah I most willingly accept of it and promise for ever obedience unto it 24. Though I am unable unfit and cannot do what I would do yet most willingly I would and most unfainedly I do desire to do what I should do 25. O Lord I know that thou knowest all things and therefore I know that thou knowest how willingly I would and how much I desire to give thee all my life all my labour and all my love 26. For there is no other thing lovely or deserves to have our loves but that one thing thy Love O God O God thy Love thy Love 27. Ah what is all mans teachings and mans doings to that O God which by thy spirit thou teachest us to know and inablest us to do 28. If it be so sweet Ah if it be so sweet a thing to think of God and his wayes here on earth in the flesh so that all earthly sweets or earths sweets are made bitter by it unsavory and unwholsome Ah how wholsome savory and sweet is it to walk O Lord in all thy wayes to do all thy will and to enjoy thy self all as thou art in Heaven where thinking thoughts hoping desires and believing joyes shall be turned into possessing truths even true possession of all that ever we believed desired hoped or thought on yea it shall far surpass all the imaginations of our hearts of our desires or hopes being infinite and incomprehensible as well as Everlasting and Eternal 29. And when O God thou hast thus filled us here thou dost at times seem to us to be as the ebbing Sea goe back again but that we may not remaine comfortlesse thou comest again unto us into us even as the flood yea as the full Sea to shew us witness to us and assure us that there is no want decrease nor diminishing in thee but that thou art still the same full of bounty goodness love and willingness to do us all good much above what we can ask or think 30. There is Ah there is a most blessed Heaven to be had on this side Heaven even whilst we are on earth which is an assurance certain or a certain and a sure assurance of that Heaven of Heaven in Heaven and this some have alwayes within them at all times and places they enjoy this unspeakable joy but more fully sweetly and particularly at some times when they have a near Converse and Communion with God then are they as it were wrapt up in God and clothed with him and filled with him made meete and fitted by him then Ah then do they sing new songs of deliverance rejoycing with unspeakable joy that they are thus made free 31. That high Heaven above is to be had here below and we have it when though we are high in God yet we are low in our selves though we have our hearts high living in that Heaven above above all things here below yet our affections esteem and desire are alwayes weak dull and low to all these things here below yea much lower then the lowest of things 32. Ah did but our hearts well consider what is in Gods heart to give us and to do for us surely we should and we would do no other thing then wait upon him continually to hear what he would say unto us and do for
altogether that is alwaies in all thy wayes 82. Weâ—e it not and would it not be much better for me that I were not and that I never had been if I be not O Lord thine and if I live not to thee and for thee to thy praise and for thine honour and glory 83. Beautiful are all thy waies O God they are most yea they are only desirable 84. He that walketh in them without wavering turning aside or going astray shall assuredly at last come to his journeys end to his long home to that Harbour and Haven of rest happinesse eternal felicity and blessednesse 85. To think on any thing out of or besides God brings no true folace joy savour or content 86. But to think on him as we ought how easily and quietly doth it dispel all other thoughts making us to see them as they are naked empty nothing 87. Thoughts on God fill the soul with joy delight and pleasure above and as it were even beyond end and measure 88. Good thoughts if they did no other good than keep out evill thoughts were they are they not to be accounted prized and valued as a great good 89. Thy presence O Lord at all times filleth me with all delights and pleasures and thy absence emptyeth me euen of all 90. When I have thee O Lord I have all I would have Ah but when I want thee I want all even all that my soul desireth that it doth love or crave 91. As I have and according as I have thee O Lord God so are my Joyes and according as I want thee so are my sorrows and grief 92. Thy drawing near doth not only comfort me and satisfie me but also ravish me But at thy departure or absence ah Lord thou knowst thou knowst how my heart quaketh trembleth and is full of doubts cares and fears 93. I cannot O Lord thou knowst I cannot live without the presence of thy Holy Spirit who is my only comfort and comforter for when I want thee O Lord I want all my good things yea I account nothing good 94. It is not the world that I long for or care for it is not O Lord the nether but the upper springs not the left-hand mercies but the right-hand not the footstool but the Throne favours that I esteem favours and mercies indeed 95. O Lord my Lord and my God do thou I beseech thee so possess my heart that I man only be possest with thee 96. O Lord be thou pleased so to live in me that I may only and alwaies live to thee and for thee 97. Give O Lord give so thy self to me as I may give my self to thee 98. When I want thee my God who art my all and my only good I want all even all But when I have thee O Lord thou knowst my heart saith it hath all it hath all I would have all that it doth think on or desire or crave 99. How much nothing O Lord is all other things to thee And how much above all things O Lord art thou to me 100. Give me then thy self O Lord my Lord and I will alwaies chearfully say I have all and that I desire nothing else at all but unless thou dost O Lord my God give me thy self thy only and thy very very self thou knowst that all things seem to me and are esteemed by me even as nothing as dirt as dung as dross 101. Thou knowest O God my God that I cannot live without thee and I desire only to live to live in thee to thee and for thee 102. Ah that I were dead to all things and all things dead to me that I might only be alive to thee 103. Oh that all things would take themselves wings and fly from me that I might not be kept back from flying up to thee my God my God 104. In thee O Lord there is true rest a rest of peace in truth but out of thee O God there is no rest for the sole of the foot of my soul. 105. I cannot rest but on thy breast I cannot live but in thy Love I cannot walk but in thy way I cannot Joy but in thy day I cannot run but unto thee I cannot see but only thee I cannot joy but in thy Love I am not well but when above O God my God take me to thee That no other I ever see For seeing thee I see that all That ever was and ever shall That Glorious Sun that blessed light That shews to go by day and night That giveth all things unto all That ever were and ever shall To thee O God and thy Great Name Be ever praise laud and great fame From this time forth for ever more Thy self thy love I will adore 106. How sweet O God Oh God how sweet are thy Sweets 107. Oh happy condition to enjoy thee O God whatever my condition be 108. O heavenly heart that is alwaies in heaven meditating on thee God the heaven of heaven in heaven 109. Oh happy he that hath alwaies heaven in his mind that minds only heaven and the things that are in heaven 110. Such ah such a heart O Lord who are the Lord of heaven and earth give me that my heart may be according to thine own heart yea that my heart may be in thine and thine in mine that thou maiest O Lord God so empty thy self into me that I may for ever and for ever be emptied into thee and filled by thee with thee 111. O Ocean of all goodness continue to shower into me the abundant showers yea floods of thine infinite good even as thou hast heretofore many many ah many times done that I may rejoyce and be glad in them as well when I have them not and feel them not as when I feel I have them 112. Ah Lord my Soveraign Lord and God my Superiour and Supream good the good that is only able to glad me and to make me rejoyce fill me ah fill me O Lord with these goods and good things that flow out continually from thee that I may see thy goodness thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary 113. Ah the true satisfactory soul-ravishing Joys to enjoy thee O God and those Joyes that thou givest away away far from me all earthly Joyes earths Joyes for ye are but earth and therefore no Joyes but even false Joyes and foolish yea very foolish toyes 114 O my soul my soul awake awake and see them their deformity their ugliness their dung and dunghil likeness to those savoury sweet pleasant and delight some pleasures that thou givest out of the Garden the Orchard and the Fountain of pleasures that are in thy Palaces 115. Ah how doth that heart leap and rejoyce when it enjoyes thee O God wholly when it enjoys thee only how willing ah how willing is it to be divorced separated and banished from all things whatever that are out of thee and besides thee 116. And how unwilling is it ah how unwilling
but let this heat of the fire of thy love burn and consume all the cold Winter frost of the weeds and roots of sin and Corruption that my soul may be as a pleasant garden for thee ' O Lord my King and my God to take pleasure in 156. Thou hast O God thou hast thou hast in a very great measure Turn'd the Mountains of my sins into a Valley of pleasure 157. God is my God and therefore he will be my God alwayes so whatever temptations fall on me I will not fear them for God who is my God is stronger then all and his love is above all either in Heaven above or on earth or Hell below 158. He that truly loves all good must truly hate all evil for love to good produceth alwayes in all hatred to evil for there is a contrary to every thing as light is contrary to darknesse therefore loving the one good we must and can do no other then hate the other which is the contrary evil 159. Having our eyes opened our understandings enlightned we then see sin in its colours 〈◊〉 it is in it self sinful and therefore we must hate it and we can then do no other but hate it wtch perfect which is sincere hatred not only leave al◠sin but heartily unfainedly and sincerely with our whole hearts hate all sin and loath all sin being changed and brought out of darknesse which is from sin into the marvelous light of the knowledge of the love of God we cannot being cloathed with his nature loving what he loves holinesse and Righteousnesse but hate what he hates which is all sin and wickednesse having put Christ Jesus on we must put the other off the world flesh and Devil and all their works sticking to Christ and holding him fast we must and will and can do no other still then let goe our hold to all things out of him and besides him for according as our love is to the one so our hatred will be nay is to the other they being contraryes and opposite one unto another 160. He that truly loves the wayes of God which is Righteousnesse must doth and can do no other then hate the wayes of the Devil which is sin we cannot serve two such Masters it is impossible to love two such Contraryes 161. By our true sincere and unfained hatred to the one we may see and be sure of our unfained sincere and true love to the other and if we thus love truly all good we love God truly which ought and should assure us that we are beloved of God yea that we are his beloved through Jesus Christ the truly beloved whom he doth and ever will love truly us in him for his love is not yea nay unto us but yea in Christ yea and Amen 162. He that hath thee O God hath all and therefore he that wants thee wants all though he wants nothing else at all 163. He that possesseth thee O God possesseth surely the best possession that is or can be possest 164. He that knows thee O God hath perfect knowledge for none doth or can know thee but from and by thy holy spirit of true wisdome and knowledge all knowledge and wisdome else to this is meer foolishnesse 165. When we are in thee O God we are truly free free from all evil and filled with all good for all good is in thee and comes freely from thee as the Rivers from the Sea 166. Wash me make me clean O God in and by Christ that I may be pure in thy sight even as gold well refined without any dross or mixture perfectly pure pure in perfection 167. By giving we receive that is when our hearts are drawn forth sincerely to give what God hath given us I mean of spirituals God gives us what we would have yea and much above what we did ask or could think 168. When thus we beg for others to have that we may have to give Ah how good gratious bountiful is the Lord unto us in giving of us according to our hearts desires even the very desires of our hearts 169. When thus we desire grace to impart it unto others how agreeable unto God are our desires how Ah how doth he regard us reward us 170. When thus we are beggers for others God maketh us rich with the treasures of Heaven with that true riches which will make us rich for ever which is grace here and glory hereafter 171. When thus we mind others good and welfare as our own making their case ours sympathising with them both in their good and evil in their present and future happinesse then we shew forth that we live in God and that God liveth in us for where true love is God is for love is God and God is love 172. When we feel want in our Brethrens wants and are filled with what they are filled bearing their burthens of grief and sorrow with them it shews that we are of one heart and of one mind that we are Brethren if we have thus compassion one of another 173. And when we make their joyes our joyes it shews plainly that there is one spirit in us even the spirit of the love of God which is Christ Jesus our Lord who leadeth us in his paths and teacheth us to practise what he hath commanded us and his Children we are whom we obey whether of sin unto death or of Righteousnesse unto life By their works ye shall know as God who are his 174. When thus we are unto others what we are unto our selves it sheweth plainly that we are members of Christs mystical body and that he is our head 175. When thus we agree and sympathise in one anothers honour and dishonour sorrows and joys we shew forth that we are not two but one and this oneness sheweth also that we are one in Christ that he liveth in us and that we live in him that he is ours and that we are his 176. And when Christ thus owneth us for his own we may be sure that when he cometh at his second and sudden coming in glory we shall also appear with him and be made like him glorious as he is glorious though not so glorious 177. He that thinks any thing more worth then Christ is not worthy of Christ. 178. He that would not willingly loose all things for him and for his sake shall never have him not of him partake 179. He that holds any thing dearer then Christs love shall never partake of his love 180. But he that loveth him above all things beyond all things and more then all things may surely say that he hath all things for as Christ is above all God blessed for ever and for ever so he is all in all unto all those that truly love him 181. So sure as we would that he did love us so sure it is that he doth love us and more surer much by much and so much as we would that he did
and to whom thou hast manifested thy self Therefore the Angels those glorious knowing Creatures endeavour to pry into all thy misteries Such an endlesse and bottomlesse delight there is in them all from the greatest to the very least of all 169. This indeed is such a high and glorious Mount from which we may justly desire never to come down but to have there our abiding place A Tabernacle to dwell in for ever and for ever not only to behold the glory of our Lord but the Lord himself of all our good and our glory 170. Ah Lord God that art the wisdom of the wise the strength of the strong the honour of the honourable the power of the powerful the might of the mighty the riches of the rich the goodnesse of those that are good the blessednesse of the blessed the beauty of the beautiful the joy of those that rejoyce the light of those that see thy light the Crown and the glory of those that are in glory Thou only art and there is none besides thee our God even God blessed for ever and for ever 171. Ah Lord I know and am assured that it cannot be better with me than to be with thee 172. And to be with thee here on Earth whilst on Earth thou knowest O God that I esteem it to be my only Heaven 173. Let me thus have thee I say alwaies have thee thus and thou knowest O Lord that knowest all things that I have all that I would have for thou only art all mine all 174. Ah that thou wouldst O God take all things from me that hinder thy blessed approach to me and that causeth me to draw back from thee 175. Ah Lord thou knowest that there is nothing that I have but I most willingly offer thee and would cheerfully give thee to have thee 176. My life is not dear to me at all to spend for thee thou knowest O God my God that I account it a thing of nought If thou wilt have it O God take it for I confesse it s thine and not mine 177. Yea I trust that all mine is thine that I am thine all both Spirit Soul and Body and that thee O God and all thine is mine both thy Kingdom power and glory for ever and for ever 178. Ah blessed change to be thus changed into all blessednesse even so as to have the Lord God for our everlasting Portion 179. Weary me O Lord God weary me more and more of my self that I may be dissolved and be with thee which is best of all 180. For out of thee O God my heart is not satisfied neither can any thing but thy self satisfie it either that is in Heaven above or on the Earth below 181. What O Lord what shall I say unto thee thou knowest all things and of me and my heart more than I can tell thee make me and it O God such as thou wilt have me to be that thou maiest ever own me for thine own 182. Ah Lord let me be alwaies on the wing after thee yea let me pursue hard after thee continually let me run and not grow weary and walk and not faint 183. O God that art my God heat I beseech thee my affections increase my desires build me up that I may be a living stone in thy house and ever speak loudly thy praises 184. Ah Lord God let me alwaies have before me Heaven and Hell let me see Heaven as it is prepared for the Just and Hell as it is prepared for the unjust Heaven for those that ever eied it and rejoyced in it aud Hell for those that never feared it nor believed it but by their ungodly lives lived as if there had not been either a Heaven to recompence the Godly or a Hell to punish the ungodly 185. Ah Lord cause me alwaies to eie those things that are invisible that eie never saw that ear never heard nor that ever entred at any time into the heart of any man to conceive even those endlesse everlasting joyes that thou hast O God prepared in Jesus Christ and laid up for all those that love thee 186. Let me Ah let me alwaies hearken to hear that sweet and blessed voyce of thy Holy Spirit within me saying of all the glory that is in glory these are all thine yea all that is mine is thine and thou art mine 187. Ah Lord let me never forget that all these earthly things must passe away from us in a moment in the twinkling of an eie But that our Souls are immorral and shall live for ever and ever in endlesse unexpressible joyes or endlesse everlasting unexpressible Torments 188. How low ah how low are the conceptions of any brain yea the words of men or Angels to expresse and shew forth the life to come either of the one or of the other of those beloved of God that shall ever live and abide in his Love which is in himself or for those that are so hated by him as shall for ever be cast out of his blessed presence and enjoy the cursed wretched company of the Devils and his Angels in burning and unquenchable flames where shall be yelling and roaring weeping and wailing curses and horrid blasphemies against that God and his goodnesse which they know is holy just and good and this as fuel shall feed that fire that cannot be quenched and give life to that gnawing worm an accusing condemning Conscience that shall never die and thus those poor Souls must and shall live everlastingly 189. Ah Lord God give me Faith to believe and grace to repent that I come not into this place of torment but for ever enjoy those eternal and everlasting joyes that thou hast from all Eternity prepared and wilt only give unto those for whom thou hast prepared it 190. Come Lord Jesus come quickly and fill me and feed me and satisfie me here with thy good things that I may ever live to enjoy them and thee 191. Thy appearances O great God are like thy self yea they are thy self but few I fear there are that thus see them and know them thus thy power thou shewest most in weaknesse in such as see confesse and acknowledge themselves to be weak for thou makest the weak strong and causest many times the very meanest and simplest even those according to the knowledge of men that know least to know most for thou hidest thy self from those that seek that knowledge that pufeth up but revealest thy self and shewest thine appearance as the Sun at noon day to those that deny themselves and seek only that Wisdom to know thee that they may give up themselves unto thee 192. Thus O God thou feedest the hungry but the rich thou sendest empty away thou confoundest the wisdom of the wise but makest glad the hearts of thy holy ones which are the humble ones 193. Let me not O God be cast down to doubt of thy Love how low so ever thou shalt cast me nor lifted up above measure
how high soever thou shalt raise me 194. Ah Lord God let my knowledge be that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and that I am thine 195. Ah Lord destroy the adversaries and enemies of my Salvation here which is thy shining manifesting and appearing in me unto me my knowledge of thee to be mine and I to be thine my dying to self to flesh and World to all that is not of thee and my living only to thee O God the God of my Salvation to thee to thee 196. My hereafter Salvation I know that none nor nothing can hinder me from I shall I know enjoy thee O God possesse thee behold thee know thee and see thee as thou art to be seen and known I say and am sure that nothing is able or shall hinder me from this blessednesse which thou hast prepared for me 197. Ah were it not for the enemies of our Salvation which are our own fleshly lusts and vile affections which fight and warr continually against thee O God our Salvation in us we should see know find and feel the same Salvation ever here as hereafter we should contemplate thy beautiful beauty and thy most glorious glory here even as in glory hereafter 198. Ah Lord God fight then on my behalf consume and destroy wirh an utter destruction all these my enemies which hinder here this my so great Salvation consume and make wast all their powers and deliver my poor Soul because I trust in thee and in thy great name which are thy faithful promises 199. As a Fountain gives freely without intermission or constraint but the natural power or fulnesse that forceth even so should we that live in God and possesse him and his fulnesse be alwaies giving and communicating of what we have And as a fountain that is stopped a while being hindred of continuing its largesse doth as it were during that space make or lay up provision to be more larger in its bounty even so me thinks should we be and do if for some time occasion or opportunity present not but we are as it were stopped from giving being unstopt that is occasion presenting it self to our charity we should shew forth by our grosse streams of largenesse in giving that the restraint of not having occasion was a constraint and against the supernatural now natural faculties of our Souls affections 200. If thus we were alwaies communicating and when we find not occasion so to do had in us alwaies a vehement earnest burning desire to give Ah how like should we be unto our good God and Heavenly Father who gives continually and is never weary nor repenteth Glory to God In Bourdeaux Ann. 1661. 1. The love of God is the best of Heaven the very glory in glory 2. The love of God makes all things lovely to all those that know that they are his beloved 3. Gods love is sweeter than the hony or the hony comb much more desired and to be desired more by much then all fine gold and the most pretious Pearls 4. Gods love is better then Wine to comfort the heart it is the fatnesse marrow and sweetnesse of Heaven that feeds feasts and solaceth the soul. 5. There is nothing in Heaven above to be compared to Gods love 6. And all things that are here below Ah how much below are they all to the love of God 7. He that hath or is in the love of God hath all God for God is all love 8. Ah Lord God love me then so that I may be filled with love to love thee as I should love thee to fear thee as I should fear thee to honour thee as I should honour thee and to obey thee as I should obey thee in all things in spirit soul and body by all my thoughts words and actions now henceforth and for ever more Amen 9. Ah Lord God how unspeakably great is thy love to all thy Children and Servants turning all things to their good even the very worst of things their sins 10. God sheweth his great love unto us how he loveth us by shedding abroad his love so in our hearts as we are made thereby to love him for naturally we love him not therefore did he not give us love to love him we would nor could never love him 11. Ah powerful love that makes of us haters to become true lovers to love him in very truth whom we hated truly 12. Yea those that have the love of God thus in their hearts love him so as it may be truly sayd of them that they love nothing else for they love him above their goods or good name above their Children above their Wives yea much more and above their very lives They can and easily do when called thereto give up all to him and for him his love doth constrain to love him again the heart is so in love with him finding him so lovely that it cryes out continually for more love that it may love him more for nothing comforts such souls as Gods love they make and account his love as himself and himself to be his love and being thus loved by him and living thus in his love they live in him and he in them which is the very life of their lives and the very bliss and Heaven of their Heaven 13. Such is the love of God unto us his Children that he swallows us up and houseth us in himself that we may be all his and he all ours that we may put him so on as be made like him and partake continually of him which is our Crown and glory yea our Crown in glory which will make us shine more beautiful and glorious then ten thousand Sons 14. Cause me O Lord God to declare what thou wilt have me to declare cause me to believe what thou wilt have me to believe cause me to know what thou wilt have me to know and inable me to do all that thou wilt have me to do that I may be filled with thee to live to thee and in thee to thine Eternal honour praise and glory so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 15. Goe forth O God go forth before me that I may follow thee where ever thou goest that thou wilt be unto me a light by night in the mid'st of my natural darknesse which is darker then the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter then the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Lawes and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fil me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us
poorest and meanest Creature according to the flesh as well as unto the highest in degree and honour among men and that their Conditions blessed be thy Name makes no condition with me for I account my self in very truth Servant and Debtor unto all both bond and free young and old and would with all my heart and soul do for any of them what thou requirest and Commandest yea me thinks I would give them what I have and be without it that they might have it I would be hungry and thirsty and poor and naked to feed refresh cloath and make rich their souls I would most sincerely and willingly that they had all of them a double Portion of the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit which thou hast given me to the end it might be well with them and they might doubly praise thee Ah Lord Stamp on their hearts the seal of thy Divine love hide them under thy most sacred and glorious pavilion that they may be kept safe from the evil day and from the evil one who continually seeketh to devout them swallow them up O Lord into thy self that they may be ever secure dart O God a beam of thy Divine love that by its reflection they may have love to love thee again as thou lovest them not as to measure or degree that I know well is in none either on earth or in Heaven nor cannot be the most blessed Saints Angels Arch Angels Cherubins and Seraphims were the love of all those lovely blessed and glorious Creatures emptied into one alone then even I know his would come short of thine of thy love O God to that Creature whom thou lovest in the least degree to Salvation for thy love is the love of a God who is love that would be but the love of a Creature thine would be from thy self alone that would be from thee and given by thee so that the love which in sincere love I thus in Jesus Christ begg of thee for them is that they may have true love for thee and thine continually that it may continue with them and in them unto the end till that thou shalt so fill them with that first choyce and chiefe grace that they all may be as thou art in a degree all love Ah Lord God confound I pray thee the wisdome of the wise I mean thou knowest the worldly wise bring down their pride and staine their glory such as will go about to condemne what they cannot mend and to marre what they cannot make turn O God their wisdome as thou did'st Achitophels into foolishnesse but preserve them unto the end from such a like end and open the eyes of their understanding that they may see and acknowledge the errors of their wayes and come speedily out of them and before ever converted unto thee that their souls may ever live with thee Ah Lord God what a most pittiful thing is it and of all things to be lamented with and in teares of blood that any poor soul should either live or die in sin that a soul which is of much more value then ten thousand worlds should be for ever lost and undone for such a base vile filthy thing as is sin the very excrements of naughtinesse and by which O God thou that art worthy of all honour art so much dishonoured and the Devil so much honoured Ah how is it to be pittyed and dolefully lamented that so many poor souls should believe lyes and the Father of lyes the Devil before thy word and thy self who art the God of all truth and love how great Ah how great was thy love O God to save poor lost sinners in sparing and giving thy own only dear and beloved Son to the most shameful and most painful death of the Cross to redeem them from sin death Hell and the Devil and hast thou not promised with him to give them all things And Ah how great was thy love O most sweet Jesus who did'st so willingly submit to thy Fathers will and for the glory which was set before thee for us sinners did'st chearfully endure the Cross and despise the shame aud so sits down at the right hand of thy Father to prepare there a place for us and by thy continual intercession to prepare us for that place and this thy sitting down in glory at his right hand shews plain that thou hast done all that is to be done that can be required all as thou said'st when thou gavest up the Ghost is surely finished our Redemption fully wrought and compleated thy Fathers wrath appeased and he well pleased Ah Christ with and in all humility of heart I speak it thou had'st this spirit in thee thou did'st even as it were thus complain ye will not come to me that ye may have life and did'st weep for and over Jerusalem because her day of salvation was past and thy holy spirit in the mouth of thy Prophet complaineth and as it were lamenteth their sad condition saying Ah why will you dye O House of Israel And further how often doth this thy gracious and blessed spirit O God leave as it were thy bosome and comes and sues and wooes us that he may sanctifie and make us chosen and fit Vessels for thy use Ah Lord thou knowest how often such like considerations have sadened my soul that thou who art the God of truth should'st be thought by so many as it were a lyer for thy Word is not believed by them but made as a thing of nought trampled under foot and cast behind the back and Drunkards Whoremongers and such vile persons words be received entertain'd taken up welcom'd and preferr'd before thee O God before thee and thy Word and all thy most gratious offers of grace Now if such by thy good and gratious Providence come to read these words or of that which thou hast made me to write I humbly pray thee in Jesus Christ thy Son to pity him and pardon him Ah fetch home O God all windering Prodigals that are in far Countrys that is far from thee feeding on Hogs and Harlots which is on their own fleshly Carnal Lusts and vile affect ions Ah Father I know thee to be full of love and compassion Ah be thou pleased to do for all such as thou hast done for me for such was my most miserable and woful condition But I praise thy glorious Name thou hast washt and cleansed and sanctified my soul. Ah be thou pleased to let them all tast of the same love and kindnesse let them drink all of the same Cup and eat of the same meat and be cloathed with the same Robes and have a like ring of Love put on their fingers Ah let them O Father Lord of Heaven and Earth be thus welcomed by the and owned by thee for thine own and adorn'd thus gratiously with thine own glory that thou mayest delight in them and they may make thee only all their joy delight and rejoycing Ah that the
made an heir of misery to make me an heir of mercy thus to drink the dreggs of his Fathers Divine wrath that I might for ever drink in the streames and of the Ocean of his Divine love Ah love beyond degree an offended God thus dyes to set offending men free And thus hath God the Lord my Lord and my God freed me from Eternall paines and given me hopes here and assurance hereafter of Eternal joyes he hath brought me out of the neither Hell into the upper Heaven of grace here which shall be glory hereafter he hath freed he hath freed me from Eternal death and purchased for me Eternal life he hath broken he hath broken the chains of sin by which Satan held me and led me captive at his will and doth lead me forth by and with the chains of his Eternal and everlasting love enabling me through grace to do his own holy will And what Lord shall I render unto thee for all these thy benefits thou Lord knowest my unability my poverty I am I am I confess so poor yea so despicably poor O Lord as I have nothing to pay thee not can pay thee nothing but what thou shalt give me give me thee O Lord what thou wilt have me to give thee give me Oh give me I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ love to love thee fear to fear thee faith to beleive in thee to depend on thee and to rowle my self upon thee hope to trust in thee and joy to rejoyce in thee with joy unspeakable Ah Lord God give me thy self yea all thy self that I may give thee all my self and though I do I confess already own thee mine all yet I would willingly owe thee yet more and though I have nothing to pay thee yet I desire and heartily desire to owe thee more to be more indebted unto thee for I delight to be thy great debtor yea and would be thy greatest and so I confess I should be though thou shouldest neither give nor forgive me any more then thou hast already forgiven and given me Ah Lord I know that for all thy gifts of grace mercy pardon and forgiveness that thou expectest only an acknowledgment that I am thine all and that I owe thee my self and mine all the freedome Lord Ah Lord the freedome all the freedome all the freedome that I desire is to be thy Prisoner never any man desired so much to be let out of Prison as I do to be put in never any slave desired so much to be free as I doe to be bound unto thee O God my God unto thee unto thee my God never any man desired so earnestly to pay his debts as I desire to be further and to be more indebted give me O Lord I beseech thee more and more that I may every day yea every moment of the day all the dayes of my life unto the very last moment of the last day of my life be receiving that when this life is ended I may live an Eternal life to pay thee Eternally praise and thanksgiving Be thou then Ah sweet Jesus be thou alwayes in me that I may alwayes be in thee stand by me continually that I may alwayes stand unright and walk uprightly and never fall goe with me that I may never goe from thee abide O Lord abide ever in me that I may ever abide in thee act in me O Lord act ever in me that I may ever act for thee speak O Lord speak continually in me that I may continually speak for thee work for me O Lord work alwayes for me that I may alwayes work for thee live in me O Lord live alwayes in me that I may alwayes live to thee and for thee Ah Lord do all for me do all for me that all that I shall henceforth alwayes do may be all for thee that I may choose not my own will but thy will may be my choyce Ah Lord let me know thy blessed voyce that I may alwayes answer thee at thy blessed call whether it be by night or by day as Samuel did and say with him and with his heart speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with holy David for my heart is ready and with heavenly Paul what Lord what with thou have me to do Write O Lord I humbly beseech thy holy and divine lawes of grace in my heart that with my heart I may delight in them and thy Statutes in my mind that all even all my mind may be still on them that they may be a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins let thy Commandements O Lord be no more grievous unto me but joyous that I may ever find thy yoak easie and thy burthen light Let thy word O God feed me yea let me feast on it as on marrow and fatness let it refresh and comfort my heart as with Wine on the Lees yea as Wine well refined on the Lees let it be sweeter to my tast then hony yea then the hony comb Ah Lord let my heart be set on it and much more delighted with it then with gold yea then with much fine gold or pretious pearls let it distill into my heart to ravish it Ah Lord let it so ravish me as all my sences may be filled and delighted with its sweetness Let me O Lord hear it attentively understandingly and feelingly as thine own word which thine own mouth hath spoken that my mouth may be filled with thy praises yea that I may trumpet them forth loudly and sweetly let mine eyes alwayes look upon thee O Lord from whence my salvation cometh to behold thy beauty thy glory and thy blessedness as in thy Sanctuary that my feet may run in the wayes of thy Commandements and not grow weary and walk and not faint O Lord let me sit under the shadow of thy branches continually for thy fruit is very pleasant unto my tast there is none in Heaven O lord that my soul desireth as thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Ah how doth my soul and my heart long to be where thou art even where thou art O God in Heaven thy dwelling place glading and rejoycing the hearts of all those that behold thee beholding the brightness the sweetness the loveliness and the lovingness of thy most glorious most beautiful and most blessed countenance which to see is life yea much better then life Ah Lord bring me then home unto thee even to my long desired home that I may ever enjoy thee and live in thee my joy in whom my soul only delighteth to live for with thee I know is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at thy right hand O God are pleasures for ever more such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive Ah Lord God I well know and believe rejoycingly that thou knowest all things and
therefore knowest well how my heart and my soul panteth for thee longeth for thee coveteth for thee and most ambitiously hungreth and thirsteth after thee Ah Lord when shall that blessed time be and the day come that I shall be altogether emptyed of my own emptyness and filled with thy fulness be stript of my own raggs and cloathed with thy glorious robes be found out of my self in thee and be made partaker of thine own holy and Divine nature which is perfection and glory in glory yea perfect glory then shall I be no more mine own but thine own yea thine all so that all that I shall do shall please thee well and be right well pleasing unto thee for then I shall no longer do the evil which I would not and which I love but the good which I would and which I love yea the good and all the good that thou O God wilt and which thou lovest it shall not then be present with me only to will but to do also even all thy holy and whole and perfect will I shall then no longer desire to be stript of any thing that is in me because O God my God thou shalt be all in me and only in me then and there I shall no longer mourn for my unholiness nor pray for more blssedness but all tears fears and cares shall be all done away my unworthiness here shall through thy worthiness O sweet Jesus be accounted worthy my unrighteousness righteous my disobedience obedience and my imperfection perfect full and entire perfection through that ever blessed most blessed and only and all blessed perfection that is in thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah who would not then for a while feed on crums that he may eat of this bread and at last sup at this feast Ah who would not who would not be content to hunger a while to be brought to this banquet of heavenly daintie who would not Ah who would not be content for a little space to sit groveling on the ground and be covered with dust and ashes that he may at last sit at this Table who would not Ah who would not stay a while without with patience being assured at last yea and ere long to be brought in into the brides Chamber Ah who would not who would not be poor for a while to be made thus rich for ever Ah who would not who would not be content to be contemptible for a little space to be thus honoured and made truly honourable for ever Ah who would not who would not be right well content to be banisht for a while to be thus brought home in triumph gloriously to abide in his Fathers house for ever who would not Ah who would not be well content and rejoyce to be a stranger and a Pilgrim for a little while in a strange land to have such a possession for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not be in a storme for a while to enjoy for ever such a calme who would not who would not want the delicasies of Egypt forfa while to have the delicacyes of Heaven for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not refuse to be called the Son of Pharaohs Daughter for a while to be the Son of the Eternall living loving blessed God for ever and for ever Ah who would not who would not willingly and cheerfully suffer with the Children of God for a while for a little space to raigne with the Children of God for ever who would not Ah who would not willingly be cloathed with raggs for a while to ware for ever such glorious robes who would not Ah who is he that would not be Crowned with Throns for a moment to be Crowned with such a Crown of glory for ever Ah who would not who would not bear the Cross here till death that he may for ever ware the Crown of immortall life Ah who would not who would not suffer with Christ here to raigne with Christ for ever hereafter Ah who would not who would not be despised among men to be cherished among Angels Ah who would not vvho vvould not suffer as Lazarus did to raigne as Lazarus doth Ah vvho vvould not who would not suffer as a member of Christs mysticall body here to be member of his glorious body for ever hereafter Ah vvho vvould not vvho vvould not live the life of the righteous here to live for ever and ever with the righteous hereafter not in the bosome of Abraham but in the bosome of Abrahams Isaacs and Jacobs God In the meane time O Lord give me grace courage and strength to run that good race to fight that good fight that thou hast set before me perseveringly unto the end that I may as vvillingly vvare the Crovvn of Thorns here for thy sake as the Crown of glory here after for my ovvn sake that I may be as willingly under temptation here as to be freed from temptation hereafter that for thy sake O Lord I may as vvillingly be contemptable here as honourable hereafter that I may as vvillingly suffer O Lord for thee here as raigne vvith thee hereafter and that in all sufferings my only joy may be that I shall for ever enjoy thee But Ah Lord God what am I and vvhat is there in me and therefore vvhat am I able to do for thee or to render unto thee for this thy love vvhich far surpasseth the love of vvoman men or of Angels as there vvas never sorrow like to thy sorrow so there was never love like to thy love true it is O Lord for all this thy love thou requirest nothing but love againe Ah how faine would I love thee but I cannot as I would how much less then is it then I should when I would do good evil is present and I do the evil many times which I would not but do not cannot do the good which I would to will is many times present but how to performe I know not but thanks be unto God through our Lord Jesus Christ though with my flesh I serve the law of sin yet with my mind I serve the law of God Grant then O sweet Jesus and give me grace that I may love thee as thou hast loved me and do for thee as thou hast done for me and to this end make my heart upright before thee even according to thine own heart that it may no longer be mine own but thine own that I may be only thine wholy thine holy thine alwayes thine and ever thine that thou in me and I in thee I may from sin be ever free Teach me O Lord so to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto Wisdome that I may be alwayes mindfull of my last end and of the reckoning that I must then make before thee the Judge of Heaven and earth Ah Lord suffer me not any longer to walk after the devices of mine own deceitful evil heart but grant O God