Butl. D' ye hear me Mr Mountford pray come back D' ye know what I 've done here Mount Yes play'd a Crack Butl. A Crack what 's that Mount pish leave your bantring stuff I 'm sure you know what th' word means well enough Butl. No I unless t is those that hunt rich Heirs At Covent-Garden Church at Morning Prayers Mount â—ray'ers Child no no your true bred â—racks ne're pray Their Talent's exercis'd another way In short thou hast abus'd a â—eneration Of female Vipers in a common Station Butl. That is I have abus'd Sir half the Nation Nay some perhaps that take the thing to heart I think I was bewitch'd to act the part Mount Pray what have you done more to shew their follics Than I have dâ—ne t' expose the Keeping â—ulliâ—s The Satyr in my part makes Equall Sport as th' poet thinks Butl. Ay the Devil take him for 't When one Dutch Lover in a keeping way One month is better than a twelvemonths play Mount Is it so faith Butl. Yes as I make 'em pay Mount Well here are other things to make amends Mirtilla's part must get him Female friends A rampant Wise is well expos'd to view And not ill drawn a Sneaking Cuckold too Butl. I can't imagine where that Satyr hooks I can finde no such Cuckold here by 's looks Mount Yes fifty in that upper Row Gadzooks Rich Goldsmiths Mercers Taylors Brewers Bakers Butl. And what are these Pointing to the Pit Mount Oh these are Cuckold-makers Who o're that Tribe still bear preheminence For you must know there 's as much difference Between the Horner the hen-peck'd drudge As is between a Tipstaff a Iudge Butl. Well these abusive Iests will never do The Audience hates 'em Mount That 's a signe they 're true Butl. ' Dslife 't is enough to cry the Playhouse down Lee's part and mine abuses half the Town Moun. Good Satyr's no abuse Butl. Not where the lash is felt Faith Mounford thou' rt a Coxcomb Mount You 're a Iilt. Butl. Made so here only by a â—oets pen Send him his part I 'll never play 't agen Throws away the Part and Exit Mountford to the Audience This is a Trick done or I m a Chouse To get a greater pension from the House I therefore on the Authors part appear To beg excuse for th' Entertainment here And now I from my Wife soâ—e time can borrow I 'll swinge her but I 'll make her play 't to morrow Love for Money OR THE BOARDING-SCHOOL ACT I. SCENE I. Enter Young Merriton and Amorous Merr HA ha ha ha thou art the pleasant'st Fellow Amor. Nay prithee suspend thy damn'd criticall Censure till I have told thee the Plot and then if thou laugh'st at me Merr. I shall have cause hath Amor. No gad not unless strength of Judgment exquisite Wit admirable Contrivance and the rest of the noble Ingredients that qualifie a brain for things extraordinary can give cause Merr. Very well Sir we shall judge of that presently proceed Amor. Art thou solid then is thy face set Merr. Not a line out of order as grave as a Country Vicar expounding at Catechize When d' ye begin Amor. Thus then I need not tell thee to prolong the story the Extravagancies of my ungovernable Minority thy self always being a spectator of 'em ' tho' no friend to 'em nor need I expose my own passionate Inclinations for that delicious Creature Woman whose sweet dear bewitching Sex I still cannot repent adoring tho' it has been the utter ruin of my Fortunes my dear Betty whom I now live withal charming me as much in this my worst and lowest Ebb as when I was a Flutterer at the Court with Coach and Six and gawdy Equipage Merr. Prithee take my counsel Friend and do not doze and slumber o're thy ruin I lately came thou know'st from the University and for self satisfaction must confess a great part of my study there was Woman that dear damn'd tempting Sex as thou hast call'd 'em I made Remarks from Rules of Physiognomy studied Complections knew whether Black or fair were true or false all Female Pinaccs and how much Love would freight 'em even blinded my own with poring on black Eyes to finde their subtile motions and for Noses I knew all Natures from the high Roman Arch to the sharp little turn-up Nose that stands as if 't were set i' th face to hang one's Hat on Amor. Very well Sir and what does your learned Worship infer from this Merr. Now I come to thee this skill amongst the rest of that Soul-gaining tribe has taught me to observe thy Betty thy dearest Charmer as thou fondly call'st her and tho' fond love mustle her faults from thee I can perceive and plainly her jiltish Actions and must take the freedom of a friend to tell thee she 's false and does abuse thy Love Amor. Impossible her gratitude would secure me from such a baseness if I had no merit to deserve her which begging excuse of your severity I shall not altogether believe Sir besides her beauty and agreeable behaviour make such a large impression on my heart all other joy is pal'd and unpallaâ—able like Wine uncover'd to the Summer Air. She 's all that Luxury could wish to please it I look abroad and see the young soft fair Then turn me round and find 'em all in her Merr. Nay if you are upon your Raptures I have done with you Amor. Besides I have given her frequently lusty sums of gold the more to endear her to me and that I 'm sure is the Lovers best proof of his Affection Merr. Yes faith and the worst of his discretion Amor. Discretion why thou talk'st like a Shop-keeper weighing of sâ—ap a manager of sense by drams and ounces Discretion is a spurious Brat begot between solid Dulness and sophisticated Reason a staple Commodity for cheating in Trade upon the Royall Exchange a virtue in Country Graziers that would fell Horses or buy Sheep the dull Companion of bob-tail'd Chaplains newly come from the College for whom Discretion is as good an Epethite as Circumspection is for one that squints but amongst the Beaux Esprits and men of sense is was and ever will be the jest of Conversation and the scandal of good Company Merr. Handsomly troll'd off i'faith and this you stedfastly believe Amor. Most conscientiously I have known your discreet person wear his Cravat three inches from his neck wipe his nose on his sleeve act the Mute in witty Company three hours together cram himself with other Peoples Jests to vent'em dully as his own at home get his Cookmaid with Child in the Kitchin and every night in the Parlour expound against Whoring with a Pox to him Merr. But did'st thou ever hear he settled three hundred pounds a year upon her as thou hast on Betty hah Prithee was not that want of discretion wert thou not a Cully for that Amor. Not at all no damn him a
with Wings still poyz'd not mounting up nor falling but in a constant Station fixt canst smile at those that climb and those that hurry down Mirtil. I have so and I own I think as little of the vain noisy fluttering World as you the gawdy Fop or haughty thing of Title the strutting Prelate or the Knave in Furs can laugh at too nay I could be contented with the least gift of Fate if that were all Y. Mer. If that were all What is there else sweet Life Mirtil. 'T is not for my own sake that I deny but Sir for yours if we were married perhaps I should love ye nay love ye dearly perhaps have Children too some half a dozen pretty smiling Blessings to cling around and help Lifes tedious Journey with the dear nonscence of their prattling Stories But should the freezing hand of Want afflict us what should we do but sit by our small fire Tears in our Eyes and throbing Griefs at Heart to see our little Flock of unfledg'd Cupids shivering with Cold as wanting necessaries who looking wishly on us seemed to say why would you marry thus to make us miserable Y. Mer. Thou talkst of Children and I think of Heaven when I conceit thou art to be their Mother oh I would learn to out-dig my Grandsire Adam e're thou shouldst want the profits of the Earth or my dear Children born of thy sweet Body their due or proper sustenance Mirtil. And what must I do then when you should dig I know in Marriage we must share the Troubles as well as Joys of him we are confin'd to can I see him that lies within my Arms so full of cares he has scarce time for Love rise early to provide for me and mine and I not knit or sow or spin or something The labouring Husband that has a lazy Wife may not only suspect her Love but Vertue No I 'de never part from you in your ill Fortune but will not be the Cause to bring it on ye Y. Mer. You cannot be the Cause I have enough tho' not what you deserve Mirtil. But I alas have not enough for you Y. Mer. No matter Heaven will prosper Mirtil. That I hope and then my Tongue shall tell another story till when adieu and yet I believe I value ye and 't is value keeps me from consenting Y. Mer. Come come 't is plain you hate me for if you did not Fortune and Wealth were Trifles Mirtil. Be ungrateful and think so still Y. Mer. I must and will by Heaven Is going out and Old Merriton meets him O Mer. How now Son Why in such hast Come back agen Mirtil. My Foster Father here and in this unhappy Juncture Oh Heaven What shall I say to excuse my self Y. Mer. Sir I beseech ye give me leave I 'm ill o' th' suddain and want a little Air What makes he here She said indeed she was beholding to him but how Heaven knows I 'le observe more hereafter this may be a Riddle worth finding out Exit Mirtil. Sir I am afraid I have offended you finding me thus discoursing with your Kinsman in this suspicious manner O. Mer. To fear implies a Guilt I know your Vertue and you might have spared that word beside he is my Son Mirtil. Your Son Nay then a Sisters Amity may well excuse this Freedom 't was Sir your Interest first that introduced him for any Blood of yours meer Gratitude would prompt my throbing Heart to love and honour O. Mer. 'T was warm discourse you had the purple Signal that yet remains displayed within your Cheeks confirmed me that your Tongues have had a Battle and Love or War has fiercely been denounced Pray let me know and if I 've interest in ye as for past Cares I cannot doubt I have give me a share in the discovery Mirtil. Sir I dare trust you with my secret Sins much more then with my little worldly Business Know then your Son has oft been pleased to honour me with passionate Expressions of his Love O. Mer. I thought so pray proceed Mirtil. Ah! then take all I own I love him too and now you have a secret out which nothing but your Commands could ever have forced from me I love him Sir yet knowing my Condition modest regard of wronging him hereafter by my ill Stars made my poor famished Heart hold out though within one short hour of starving weeps O. Mer. This is as I could â— wish Come be not sad the Stars have better aspects than you think and Fortunes giddy Wheel will soon turn round to seaâ— thee on the utmost Spoke with Honours Mirtil. Ah do not mock my Wretchedness dear Father O. Mer. Not for the World come in with me and listen for I will tell thee wonders the Minute is near and the blest Hand of Providence to pass thee from thy Labyrinth of Misfortunes holds out a Clue and guides thee on to Happiness In every Life the Doom of Fate secures One Hour to make it blest and this is yours Exeunt SCENE III. Enter Amorous and Le Prate Amor. Now Monsieur you see what a Precipice I free'd ye from and what Reasons I had for my late passionate resentment Le Prat. Monsieur you have made it out dat you have de good reason and I perceive dat she be de ver dam Jilt ma foy and tho I have lost de little Honour in de quarrel I have save one hundred Guinea morbleau vish make me ver much amends But Monsieur pray observe I vill shew you the finest French Song here dat I learnt dis Morning thol loll loll Sings Amor. ' Dslife no Song now dear Le Prat this is our very Minute of Projection I 've just sent for her go go prithee step into that Closet and when I call come and confront her Le. Prat. Vid all my Heart and I will practise dis Song all de while dere for fear I should fall asleep Exit into the Closet Amor. And if there be a subtiler Devil than ordinary Used by grave Statesmen or by jilting Whores Him I invoke t' assist me here she comes Enter Jiltal and Oyley Iilt. Why that French Fop should fail to come to my Assignation is a Riddle to me Oyley Oyley And to me too Madam I 'm sure I wound him upright I wonder he did not strike Iilt. Hush here 's th' other Woodcock just faln into the Plash one at a Shoot must serve when there 's but little Game my dear dear Iackey Runs to him Amor. Oh my sweet sweet sweet Devil aside Iilt. But why is my dear Hony little Puppy-dog come before the hour hah Amor. My dear Life might assure her self 't was to do her good to be short then you must know that my Uncle just now sent for me Iilt. So dear Monkey so so Hugs and clings to him Amor. And sent me word that upon condition that I would marry thee to morrow morning he would feal my Settlement to Night ha ha
only you but me by making me affront one of your merit but Sir I ask you now ten thousand Pardons Rake This must be madness for I can find no sence in it Iilt. I had at first 't is true as it was reasonable some ill thoughts of ye but now have much the better his Plots are all unravell'd and by substantial information now I find 't was he that fold me to the Indies Rake T' was so Madam oh he 's a dam'd Kidnabbing wicked Fellow ' gad I 'll take heart and close in with her while the Fit lasts Iilt. 'T was by his Plot I acted that mad part when last I saw ye much against my own good nature but I have found his Villanies out since how he design'd to gull me to a Marriage and you out of a Settlement 't is plain now and I was sending too this very morning to beg ye not to Seal Rake Gadzooks what 's this I hear Why hark ye Madam are not you really mad then Iilt. Mad indeed such injuries were enough to make me so but Sir I hope my Eyes will resolve that doubt besides if you doubt my sence you shall hear me sing a Song of my own making SONG ROyal and Fair Great Willy's dear Blessing the Charging Regent of the Swains Heavy with Care thus sadly Expressing Her grief sat weeping on the Plains Why did my Fate Exalt me so high If fading State must deprive me of Ioy Since Willy is gone Ah! how vainly shines the Sun 'Till Fates decree the Winds and Sea Waft waft him to me II. Large are my Flocks and flowry my Pastures Worth Treasures vast of Silver and Gold Where Ravenous Wolves too fain would be Masters Devour all my Lambs and break down my Fold Willy whilst here secur'd me from fear All the wild Herd stood in awe of my Dear But poor helpless I Mourning Sigh and hourly Cry Let Fates decree the Winds and Sea Waft Willy to me Rake A most admirable Creature and if I may be so bold Madam have you never a Dagger under your Petticoats nor nothing Tilt. Nothing that will hurt you Sir alass that Dagger was given me by him to Act my part with Oh he has abus'd us both inhumanly but we 'll be even with him now Sir shall we not Rake Shall we not ' gad Madam say but a word more and I 'll have him hang'd at your door before to morrow night here 's luck I thought I had got a Devil ' wons 't is a Cherubin of Cherubins Aside Iilt. There 's time enough to punish him but he shall see us laugh at him first give me your hand will you be true to me and revenge me on that wicked fellow Rake Most vigorously Iilt. And take me and my whole Fortune for your pains Rake Most thankfully Kneels Iilt. There 's Bargain made then go and get a black Coat I 'll marry ye immediately Rake My Genius my Soul my Spirits I have not breath enough to speak my joy Oh that I could flye now my Legs cannot carry me half fast enough now would some honest Toping Priest would come fluttering like a Swallow down the Chimney I must try and get one presently for fear she cool again See in the World how strangely things are carried I thought I should be hang'd and now am to be Married Exit Laughing Jiltal Strutting So now let the History my Annals grace Mine is the Wreath and Matchivil's an Ass. Oyley Three thousand Pounds a year in three short minutes your Wit has gain'd hah hah hah ' d'slife I could leap out of my skin methinks Iilt. Besides that poor dull wretched fellow Amorous stript out of all in spight of all his Cunning this now is prosperous mischief and I am proud to see my Conquering Brain o'recome Mankind Let each Miss-Keeper take this for a Rule to get one Young and if he can a Fool Whilst her Sence yields to his the dayâ—s his own But if he 's once Out-witted he 's undone Exeunt ACT V. Scene I. Chelsey Enter Old Meriton and Boy O. Mer. WHere did you leave Sir Rowland Boy Boy At an Ale-House Sir just by the Church waiting for Mr. Stiffrump our Parson and he desires ye to go presently to his House and order his Servants to trick it up nearly and provide a good Supper against Twelve a Clock and then he 'll come and impart t' ye an Extraordinary Affair that has happen'd to him O. Mer. Well go Sirrah and tell him it shall be done but there Ex. Boy shall be other Guests there to eat it than he imagines what he means by his extraordinary Affairs I know not 't is enough for me to have brought my own so near to perfection I have left the Lovers within cooing like a pair of Turâ—les having extreamly surpriz'd her with a discovery this Morning that she is worth Fifty Thousand Pounds Here she comes so embarrass'd still between hope and fear that she is even in pain to hear of her good Fortune Come come Madam are yet ready Enter Young Merrâ—ton and Mirtilla It begins to grow late Mirt. Alas Whither must I go you have so surprised me with this strange News that did I not know you to be a Man of Honour I should believe you spoke it to abuse me O. Mer. D' ye doubt my honesty have I deserv'd this from ye Mirt. Oh! no Sir And pray be not angry for my diffidence to fear is natural to our Sex besides Sir fifty Thousand Pounds is such a Sum methinks O. Mer. As great a Sum as 't is you still outweigh it And what I 've said I 'le justifie Give me your hand you must now change your Lodging as we go on I 'le tell ye more Come Will. Exeunt Y. Mer. 'SDeath Fifty Thousand Pounds why 't is worse than Witchcraft to her half that Sum shall convert any Woman in England into a Peacock and make her so proud of her own Tail there would be no enduring her I warrant she thinks now that I 'll crawl on my Hands and Feet to purchase her but she shall find she is deceived Love may oblige me to a slavish Duty but Fortune never shall Ex. Y. Mer. Enter Coopee and Semibreif with a Ladder Coop Come Brother Fortune-Stealer help along with the Ladder I hope this will prove more lucky than our last Plot for methinks the Moon favours us very well How goes the Night Semibr The School-Bell has just rung Nine the Chickens within are all going to Roost and as full I warrant of Bread and Butter Milk Posset and Cawdle as a Woman in Childbed that has but just three days lain in Coop Oh here 's the Balcony now for the Sign Squeeks through a Catcall Enter Miss Jenny above Miss I. Whose there Coop 'T is I dear Miss 't is I. Squeeks again Miss I. Who Mr. Cooppe Coop The same the same my dear sweet little pretty Miss I. Oh Law oh Law but how shall I gâ—t down
well there will a time come I hope when we shall hang in our turn too Enter Tearshift how now Tearshift who 's that within there Tear Mr. Deputy Madam who being rashly coming before with a dirty face and hands I repremanded and turn'd back to mundyfy La. Addle Let him be lock'd into the Garret deâ—e hear as formerly and allow'd no meat till my order what the Brute is fluster'd I warrant Tear He has drank a little too much indeed Madam La. Addle He shan't eat these three days fogh the very thought of him gives me the vapours prithee give me my Spirit of Hartshorne Captain your Arm a little stand up strongly ye fribling fool o' my Conscience the fellow begins to bend in the hams already Y. Bragg Who I Madam gad y' are mistaken I 'm as strong as a horse La. Addle Ye lye yefool a horse ye lye ye Jackanapes you shew'd your strength finely last night when you were Rob'd and lost your Hat and Peruke Y. Bragg What man could do I did but to have eight Rogues upon me at once Madam was a little hard Tear Indeed Madam the Captain got well off as he did for had they stript him Lord bless us they might have damag'd his out-works Extreamly L. Addle Well Sir you see I have quip'd ye agen and pray let me finde your Services answerable all Ladies of my humour require to be serv'd well Y. Bragg I am thy Adonis my bright Citheraea always ready and perpetually devoted to thy command Tear And well said Captain in troth L. Addle Well Sir there 's something t' encourage ye and I give you leave to frequent the Coffee-house gives a purse and Tavern now and then provided you rail stifly against the Government and are sure to cry up me Brag kisses her hand Y. Bragg Madam that 's every day my whole business you are thought the very heart of the grumbling faction and the greatest Pollitician in the Town The famous Lady Addleplots name is in every ones mouth from the Secretary of State down to the Seller of Pippins Tear Your Ladyship is thought a most admirable States-woman I must needs say L. Addle Nay I thank my Stars the Ladies stick close to me the good women are most of 'em of my side I thank 'em especially the merry griggs that will drink a Bottle all those are most Conscienciously Loyall and do great good besides I expect a swinging Rising in Kent suddenly and then we shall fegue these Rebells my Lady Stroddle and I intend to go and head 'em we have bought our Fuzees and Jack-boots already Tear Oh Madam here 's the fine French Gentleman coming that is such rare Company that sings and dances and will let no one talk but himself Enter Le Prate and Nicompoop Bragg And with him Mr. â—eputy new-wash'd and Tallow'd Lord how Matrimony looks Madam Le Prate Madam I vas Impatient till I vas come to kiss your Ladyships fair hand L. Addle Your Servant good Monsieur Le Prate Your Servant Sire and your most humble pret Metresse Teare the sheet Madam I must beg your Ladyships pardon dat I have oblige a my self to make reconsiliation between your Ladyship and Monsient Nicompoop here who is very sorry for disappointing your Ladyship and desire me to Intercede for him L. Addle He 's a pitifull fumbling fellow 't is impossible for him to do otherwise then disappoint a Lady Get ye into the Garret to Nicompoop Le Prate Nay Madam I beseech your Lady ship L. Addle Alas Monsieur you are Ignorant of his Crime I had at least Six hundred Letters to finish and should have sent him to as many places with 'em and to have a Sot to dare to baulk me in State-affairs Sir I 'le make him know that I 'le have the bloud of him that shall baulk me into the Garret I say to Nicom Nicom Lord she 's bloudy angry what shall I do Le Prate Dat is very great fault but dear Madam hear a me speak L. Addle A little fribbling Cit that I have married and affronted my own Quality to do him honour to dare to be absent when I had business for him Le Prate I beseesh your Ladyship look he is dere upon his knee L. Addle A frigid fop that I have taken as much pains withall to make a man as ever my first husband Sr. Arthur Addleplot did to make me a woman strikes her Fan on her hand passionately Nicom Ah dear Captain you have an Interest in her here 's an Oriential Pearl pray try if that will qualify Bragg Madam the penitent offender offers Tribute a Mediator from the Indies kisses your fare hand L. Addle Ay the fool Imagines this will do now and truly I think pearls are good against the Spleen but a careless fellow d'slife to neglect my Negotiation I can hardly pass it o're but for your sake Couzen for once I deign to accept his Trifle but if ever he boulk me again if there be a Cuckold in the Nation you understand me Friend Nâ—com I do I do and am overjoy'd that we are friends seriously Tear This was manag'd rarely well I vow my Lady 's a woman of admirable parts Le Prate Soe dis is ver well all friends all friends and Mousieur let me tell you entre nous it will be ver reasonable for you hereafter to watch her Ladyships 〈◊〉 better you have de ver great honour in her Conversation I tell you dat Nâ—com I have so seriously could even weep for Joy that we are reconcil'd Le Prat. She 's the grand wit of all our Party and so admir'd in France dat I believe our great Monarch will in a little time make her President of his Councill 〈◊〉 L. Addle Oh deer Monsieur indeed you honour me too much but I know you have all the Secret from the Party pray what news last night Monâ—sieur when shall we have some sport when will the French fleet come to an Anchor ha Le Prat. Ah garzoon I forgot to tell your Ladyship dey are come already L. Addle Are they come Codsâ—oe that 's rare I 'le have a Bonefire as big as a Steeple have they Landed hah Le Prat. Morbleau twenty towsand at least brave valiant fellows with resolution like Lyons Dey have scare all de Country round they have burn two â—refown of de Ancient Lofty Noble Thatch Cottage Morbleau dat ever was seen L. Addle Rare news Tearshift get ready my Jack-boots Le Prat. Dey have attaque de Enimys Intrenchement and have taken two or three hundred of the boldest fattest bravest L. Addle Prisoners humh prisoners Le Prat. Sheep Madam sheep my Country-men allways take more sheep den Prisoner dey are of better use by mush Enter Tearshift Tear Madam here 's a Messenger come from the Boarding-School to Invite your Ladyship to the Ball and to see your Ladyships Daughter dance her new Chacoone L. Addle Oh with all my heart come Gentlemen wâ—'l
all go this news has made me so pleasant codsoe I could dance my self Nicom And there we shall see my Daughter Moll dance too who tho' she do's not dance so well Couzen as her Ladyships Daughter yet tho' I say 't Brag. Who that 's my wife that must be Nicom As my Lady my Wife pleases Couzen. Moll has 6000l Brag. Ay that 's well enough Le Prat. Come Madam allons Goes to take Lady Addleplots hand Brag. Will your Ladyship please to walk Brag. takes her away from him Le Prat. Pox on your damn'd English breeding L. Addle Two hundred sheep well I swear this French Monarch is a prodigious Conquerour Exeunt SCENE II. The Boarding-School discovers Semibrief Teaching Miss Molly to Sing Then Enter Young Merriton Coopee Jenny drest in a Bib Apron a Priâ—t Song in one hand and a great piece of Bread and Butter in t'other Coopee Take heed your Actions don't discover ye to Young Merriton you are taken here for a Dancing-Master Y. Merr. I 'le warrant ye if thou can'st but bring me into the dear Creatures Apartment all my remaining time of life shall study to requite the obligation Coopee Not a word more let me alone follow me Exeunt Semib The Song I 'le teach in the afternoon in the mean time Misse practise the Trill come au ha au ha ah au au ah Trills Molly Aw aw aw aw aw Trills awkardly Semib A plague what with your mouth full of bread and butter for shame empty your Chops Misse there 's a Trill for the Devil see me here au ha au ha au Molly Aw aw aw aw hum bites another piece Semib So she has got her mouth full agen well Miss Molly but that I love ye very well I assure ye I would not endure this pray lay by the bread and butter and practise the Trill I 'le step into the next room and teach a little and be here again presently Exit Molly Aw aw aw aw aw aw hum hum trills and bites together Here Coopee Re-enters and Sings this Song to the Minute that he is dancing with Jenny 1 Make your Honours Misse tholl loll loll Now to me Childe tholl loll loll Aiery and easy now tholl loll loll Very well done Misse tholl loll loll Raise up your Body Childe tholl loll Then you in time will rise hoh tholl la. 2 Hold up your head Misse tholl loll loll Wipe your Nose Child tholl loll When I press on ye tholl loll loll Fall back easy Misse tholl loll loll Keep out your toes too tholl loll loll Then you 'l learn presently hoh thâ—ll la. 3 Bear your hips Swimmingly tholl loll loll Keep your Eyes languishing tholl loll loll Zoons where 's your Ears now tholl loll loll Leave off your Ierking tholl loll loll Keep your knees open tholl loll loll Else you will never do hoh tholl la. 4 If you will love me Misse tholl loll loll loll You shall dance rarely Childe tholl loll loll You are a Fortunâ— Misse tholl loll loll And must be Married Child tholl loll loll Give me your Money Misse tholl loll loll Then I will give you my hoh tholl la. Ienny Oh dear Mr. Coopee indeed I love you very well and will do any thing you 'd have but pray let me go now for I 'm so hungry Runs out Coopy The Poor little Tit's as coming as heart can wish I 'm resolv'd to snap her for I hear she 's a fortune and worth while Enter Crowstich Crow Iane let the Buck-basket be got ready for the foul-cloaths de' e hear and bid the Landress take care to mend all the shifts these great Ramping-girles do so tear their Linnen it almost makes me wilde Coopee Your Servant Mrs Crowstich Crow How de' e Mr. Coopee and de' e hear bid the Cook-maid Cut a hundred and fifty pieces of bread and butter round the Loaf these Hoyden tits have plague'e Stomachs Coopee What is it breakfast time with 'em already then Crow Always at nine a Clock and they watch the hour as warily as a Parson does his Glass-when he is tired with preaching this is their bread and butter-days and each of 'em has a full half yard by measure of which if there were but an Inch wanting the greedy things will cry they are starv'd and complain to their parents Molly Aw aw aw aw aw aw aw hum trills bites and romps about Crow There 's one now I vow and swear Mr. Coopee I am quite tir'd with that Romp there Coming down Stairs this morning what do you think I saw I protest that great Beare there getting a stride upon Iohn the Gardeners back as he was stoâ—pping down to gather a Sallet Coopee Ha ha ha ha Exit Coopee Molly Romps about Molly What if I did what â—â—en what need you care pray aw awâ— Crow But i'faith gentlewoman you shall be well slash'd for 't the Governess has a Clawing Rod a making Claps her hand and Exit Molly Aw aw aw aw aw aw makes mouths at her Enter Jenny with a large piece of Bread and butter Ienny Oh Sister what did Iohn Gardner do to you pray oh law oh law Molly What 's that to you long Nose oh law oh law Ienny My Governess will order ye she vows and I 'le tell my Mother on ye I 'm resolv'd she 'l be here this afternoon Molly And I 'le tell my Father then how you peep'd upon Mr. Coopee t'other day when he was going a Swimming Romps and pushes her Ienny Ay tell tell Snotty-nose what care I my mother can order you and my father both pray besides pushes her hussy you peep'd as well as I that you did so you did Molly Go go baby and make dirt-pyes again my father says I shall have a husband shortly pray Ienny You my mother will bring me a tall huge husband home next week and methinks I long for a tall huge husband and I am to leave off my Bib and Apron too bites her bread and butter Ienny The Maids won't lye with you you do I know what a bed Molly Oh law that 's a great lâ—e and I 'le tear your Eyes out Ienny Hussy I 'le pull your head off throws her bread and butter Molly You shan't think to tell such Lyes on me to make Mr. Semibrief hate me I 'le tear ye alive first they pull and hawl one another Enter Crowstich with a great Rod. Crow Rare work indeed come Gentlewoman the Governess would speak with ye Molly Oh oh oh howls out leads her out Ienny So I 'm glad on 't i'vads she 'l be lash'd Swingingly Romps off another way ACT III. SCENE I. Enter Young Merriton Mirtilla and Coopee Coopee I 'le go and act a Centry without and if any body comes this way shoot off my piece and give ye warning Y. Merr. Ah dear Rogue I 'me oblig'd to thee for ever Exit Coopee Mirtill The reverence I have to the very Name of my worthy Foster-Father Mr.