Million of Millions in the body and spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him indeed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our sences Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esterm that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joyes do then somtimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when he is filled with Heavenly joyes yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joyes of Heaven 7. And if momentary earthly joyes can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joyes shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is moâ—e then faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he preferrs it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall alwayes and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our Joys be so great to see God here and his glory darkly as in a glasse with fleshly eies Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously and all his glory in Heaven face to face with spiritual eyes yea with the eyes of his own Holy Spirit 15. And if our Joys be so great to hear of him here with the hearing of the ears Ah how great shall they be to be with him hereafter and to hear himself with an understanding heart 16. And if then our Joys be so great to enjoy him here on earth and but in part imperfectly Ah how great shall our joys and delights he to enjoy him in Heaven not in part but in perfection perfectly fully wholly and holy as he is 17. And if our Joys be so great here on earth in the midst of fears Ah how great shall they be in Heaven where we need fear no fears for that there are no fears there to fear 18. And if our Joys be here on earth so great though surrounded with many sorrows Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all sorrows shall be all done away and turned into fulnesse of joy 19. And if our Joyes be so great among so many displeasing displeasures even here on earth Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all displeasures shall be all done away and our pleasures shall be for ever more 20. Ah fill me then O my good God with thy blessed most blessed self and thy Joys alone that in thee only I may rejoyce 21. If the nether Springs on earth be so sweet Ah how delitious and sweet yea sweetly delitious O God are the upper Springs of Heaven in Heaven 22. If thy left-hand mercies O God be so delightful and do so much delight and please us Ah how much more shall those of thy right-hand delight us with pleasure 23. If his foot-stool favours be so great and we esteem our selves greatly favoured by them to have them Ah how great in favour yea what great favourites shall we be when we shall enjoy in Heaven the favours of his Throne and fit on Thrones by him 24. If to see a glimpse of his glory beauty and brightnesse here on earth do so ravish us with delight joy and admiration so as we could and would alwaies be content to behold it Ah how then shall our hearts be ravisht with that ravishing fulnesse of his bright beautiful glory when we shall in Heaven behold all his glory as he is in his Kingdom of glory with all his glorious Saints and Angels from whose beautiful brightnesse and glory they have all their glorious brightnesse and beauty and are made thus gloriously beautiful with surpassing beauty and glory being in all things made like unto him 25. If then his glory be so sweet in the bud what is it in the branch but Ah then how much greater and sweeter is the Tree that hath so many branches 26. If then so great and sweet on earth Ah how greatly great and sweet in Heaven 27. And if our delights be so great in seeking thee O God here below on earth Ah how incomprehensibly great shall they and will they be when we shall have found thee where thou art above in Heaven 28. And seeing O God thou givest us such wages here whilst we offend thee Ah how great shall they be yea what is there but thou wilt give us when we shall offend thee no more but alwaies please thee 29. And seeing our Heaven is so sweet on earth or our earthly heaven so sweet which is but to see thy back part by Faith darkly as in a glasse Ah how sweet yea how much sweeter shall our heavenly Heaven be or our Heaven in Heaven which is to know thee as thou art O God to be known and see the clearly and plainly even face to face 30. And seeing thy love O God is so great to us here as it constraineth us to love thee Ah how great shall it be to us there when without constraint our greatest joy and pleasure shall be to adore and love thee 31. Ah Lord God that knowest my heart thou knowest that all the desires of my heart yet that the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart desires to love the only and to serve the with all my whole heart 32. If thy name O Lord be so great and fearful unto those that know thee and that know that thou lovest them Ah how fearfully great and greatly fearful shall it be unto those that know thee not but yet know thy greatnesse and how greatly thou hatest them 33. All Glory only Glory and continually Glory be given unto God the God and giver of all gifts grace and
Psalms and Hymns and spiritual Songs singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord and whatsoever ye do in word and deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God and the Father by him so then when Christ who is our life shall appear then shall ye also appear with him in glory 211. These are and I trust through Gods free grace in Jesus Christ shall ever be the longings and desires of the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart for all you that shall read it and for all the Israel of our God and I hope and shall pray the Lord in the infinitnesse of his goodnesse to supply all my defects with the teachings and comforts of his own spirit who is the only teacher guider leader and Comforter Ah seek him then whil'st he may be found and God I hope will give him thee 212. Now the peace of God which passeth all understanding keep your hearts and minds in the knowledg and love of God and of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord and the blessing of God Almighty the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost be with you and dwell in your hearts abundantly to the praise and glory of his holy name the good of others and the comfort of your own souls Now henceforth and for ever more Amen 213. I had much rather be the poorest in the world even a Job or a Lazarus O Lord for thy sake then the richest of the world yea then to have all the world for my own sake 214. For I have all that I would have when I have all that thou O Lord my God wilt have me to have 215. I esteem all even as nothing at all if it come not O Lord from thee all 216. Alas alas what and how much nothing is this worlds all if we have not Christs all that is all Christ. 217. Let me then O my sweet Jesus have all that thou hast and I will not care whether I have any thing at all of all that the world hath 218. He that hath Christ for his Christ is heir of all things and sure of all things but he that hath him not is heir of nothing but what is worth nothing and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing and therefore all that he is sure of is surely nothing but a very nothing 219. For what man hath to day to morrow flyes away 220. Ah Lord my Lord give me I most humbly beseech thee that which will endure for ever and not that which perisheth ever 221. That O Lord that which cannot be destroyed and not that O Lord not that which will destroy me unlesse it be destroyed by thee 222. Give me first O Lord give me first a heart according to thine own heart and then I am sure I shall use the world not as I would but as thou wilt 223. Were I as certain to goe to Hell which God forbid as I am certain through the merits of Jesus Christ to goe to Heaven I would whil'st I should be on earth walk in the wayes to Heaven and never goe out of them till God had cast me into Hell 224. O Lord that knowest all things thou knowest O Lord God thou knowest how I love thy Lawes and how I delight to walk in thy ways and to keep thy Commandments with my whole heart faithfully thou knowest O Lord is all the delight and joy of my heart yea my hearts only joy and delight 225. Blessed be God though I have many years tasted fed on and lived in the pleasures of sin and but few years in the sweet delights and pleasures of grace yet I am well content and willing to lose to cast off and utterly and for ever to forsake all sins sweets for graces bitter all sins robes for graces raggs and all sins pleasures and honour for Christs dishonour for I am now henceforth resolved to be Christs Servant ever and sins never Ah never never 226. Blessings are in the mouth and they proceed from the heart of him that feareth the Lord. 227. But curses come from him that knoweth him not 228. He that is Wise in his own Conceit is a Fool. 229. The Righteous man blesseth and is never weary so doing But the wicked curseth and is alwayes empty as Hell 230. Shame shall fall on him that wisheth mischief to his Neighbour without a cause 231. But glory and honour shall be the Portion of him that loveth him 232. If thine Enemy sin rebuke him but let not thy countenance goe along with him 233. He that feareth the Lord no evil shall befall him for he is kept safe 234. Wisdome glory and honour is the Portion of him that waiteth at his Gates 235. Behold him that loveth the Lord and thou shalt see all his works to prosper 236. Regard not the evil of affliction on him that submitteth himself thereunto for it shall prove the joy of his heart 237. Gladnesse is alwayes in the heart of him that loveth Righteousness because he feareth alwayes 238. As hony is to the tast so is holiness to him that loveth Righteousnes 239. Dwell in peace and Gods love shall abide with thee 240. Be watchful over all thy ways so shall all thy doings prosper 241. Glad the heart of the mourner and thou shalt anoynt him with sweet oyle 242. Rejoyce thou in the day of affliction and let thy heart be merry for the Lord hath heard thy vows 243. Give thy self up to learn his wisdome and refuse not his teachings when they come upon thee 244. Bind them upon thy shoulders lean upon them with thy whole might and they shall support thee 245. Grieve not the spirit of thy God who delighteth in thee 246. Give thy heart to know him so shalt thou be filled with his praises 247. Learn his ways and goe not out of his paths for the delighteth to delight thee 248. Ah love him with thy whole heart and mind that all thy days may be the days of joy and gladnesse 249. Whereever the Lord is there is bountyfulnesse and peace that passeth all understanding 250. Leane upon him and he shall support thee give up all thine all that is thy care unto him and he shall provide for thee things that shall never fail 251. He that hath him hath life and shall never see death 252. Wilt thou be merry give him thine heart let him direct it and follow him wheresoever he leadeth thee 253. His wayes are wayes of pleasure and his paths bring home to live with himself 254. Joy is in his Gates and no mourners come nigh him 255. He filleth the empty he watereth the dry and thirsty ground there is no want vvhere he raigneth 256. Rejoyce then in the day of thy trouble and let thy heart be merry for he heareth all thy groanings and will compassionate thy bewailings 257. Let him alone strive not for all thy doings without him are as the puff of a winde which is
all because it is from thee O God because it is of thee and according unto thee and therefore lovely beautiful desirable and to be only loved 202. Let me love only that O Lord God which thou lovest and hate what thou hatest and as thou lovest and hatest both the one and the other that is alwaies and for ever and for ever In Bourdeaux Anno 1660. 1. THe happiness of a Christian in this World or in this life he makes as to me to be strength against all sin even against all both great and smal against the lust of the eie the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that he may totally overcome and alwaies all sinful worldly fleshly lustings and affections so that he commit not consent unto no evil at all either great or small but serve the Lord continually in sincerity and godly simplicity by all his thoughts words and actions doing all good alwaies that is possible to be done at least in his choice will and desire 2. The comfort of a Christian in this life is in purity and holynesse of heart mind affection and thoughts endeavouring alwaies with might and main to his very utmost that he be not carried away with vain foolish fleshly thoughts cogitations inclinations or affections The more Spiritual holy heavenly and the more perfect he is the more of the Divine Nature he hath the more of Heavens beauty glory and happinesse is in him the more he hath of the glorious beautiful and ever blessed impress of the Image of God in him which shines forth unto his understanding comprehension and reason so irradiously and brightly that he is comforted delighted and refreshed with the very joyes and bliss in glory he is made partaker of those very joyes though but in a small measure that the Angels and Saints enjoy in Heaven for such a soul possesseth God and his glory and happinesse as they do the difference only is in the measure or quantity and not in the certainty or quality the Saints cup in Heaven is full to the brim when given them and they drink deep of those pleasures and joyes which are at Gods right hand But we indeed here have but a sip a tast and away they indeed enjoy these joyes alwaies without the least intermission But alas our enjoyment of these joys are short but a very little moment we cannot so comprehend as they do how they are comprehended we see but darkly and know but in part however it is the same that they see and know and so are all things ours as well as theirs both things present and to come for God being our God we have as much as they have he being our Portion theirs is not nor theirs cannot be greater 3. Thus is a Saint on Earth perfectly substantially effectually in heaven though on earth at times and sees and beholds things there as they are for a Saints heart which is his better part and greatest part is alwaies in Heaven though his body be on Earth his affections are above and burn in the fire of Love alwaies for the things that are above purity holinesse and love his Meditations and desires are on his God in his God and for his God and thus he dwelleth in God and God dwelleth in him which is the sole entire and compleat comfort and joy of his life and soul even as it is theirs that enjoy and possesse God in Heaven 4. Put these two together a Christians happinesse and a Christians comfort for they cannot be separated yea there is such a onenesse in them as though they be two yet they seem to be but one true one man may abound more in one of them and the other in another Now I am sure that there is not the man alive nor never will live that knows the sweet the worth and the excellency of them but will confesse and say that such a man is the only happy man the comfortable man the peaceable man the rich and the honourable man Ah man man who ever then thou art that shalt be brought by Providence I mean the Spiritual and most favourable Providence of God to peep here into I pray thee endeavour to pry and look into this perfect Law of Liberty more fully more clearly more plainly than yet thou hast and thou shalt find what I have exprest thy self to be even in Heaven and Heaven to be in thee though thou art on Earth to be in God and God to be in thee which is both men and Angels only good bliss happiness comfort joy and rest which good Lord for thine only holy names sake in Jesus Christ I most humbly beseech thee cause me more and more to know to feel to love and long after and that it may be my only imployment to find out this incomparable good this wisdom of wisdom those joys of all joys the only true and satisfactory and to be desired esteemed and rejoyced in Let me then O God my God I beseech thee be sequestred from all things that tend to please satisfie refresh solace content or delight the flesh for I earnestly would O God if thou so wilt that thou wouldst alwaies be all mine all for thou alone thou knowest O God my God art only able to satisfie the ambitious and exorbitant covetous desires of my mind heart and soul for it hanckers and hangs on thee as thou knowest continually let me have thee O God let me so have thee as I may find and feel that I have nothing else what ever else I may have Let me be swallowed up and consumed in thee yea let me I most humbly beseech thee be as it were dead and senslesse to all things out of thee and besides thee and give me grace that I may so live to thee here that I may ever live with thee he easter as there so here to blesse praise magnifie laud honour and extol thy holy ever holy most blessed most great most gratious and most glorious name So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 5. A Christians life should be me thinks but a good thought that is alwaies thinking of God for good or at the most but as two thoughts one of Gods Goodnesse Love Mercy and Kindnesse and the other of our own desparate badnesse unkindnesse ingratitude and misery Thus even thus me thinks we should alwaies be all the day long all our daies unto the very end of our lives 6. According as is our Spiritual warfare within us so is our peace if there be an universal warr in all the faculties of the Soul and members of the body against all sin then and only then do we enjoy peace true peace full peace and perfect peace Wherefore make first a Covenant with thine eies that they gaze not abroad not look irregularly or wantonly Secondly with thine ears that thou take no pleasure but avoid to heir all vain idle foolish or sinful talk Thirdly with thine hands that they touch no unclean
thine own O Lord and thine all and I most humbly and most unfeignedly beseech thee from the bottome of my heart in Jesus Christ that it may so continue and be unto all Eternity and that I may not henceforth think speak or do any thing by my self from my self alone without thee O Lord but that all my thoughts words and actions may be wholly guided and govern'd by thee to do all things agreeable to thy holy will and according to thine own heart who are the heart of my heart the life of my life and the soul of my soul for by thee only and all one I live move and have my being Give me then grace O Lord God that I may so love thee as to adore thee so fear thee as not offend thee so delight in thee as that thou mayest be my only delight so obey thee as to be obecient unto the death so honour thee as to walk humbly before thee and give up my self unto thee let me so run after thee as to obtaine thee and get a blessing from thee which may be a blessing unto me in life in death and after death that by receiving from thee daily grace I may give thee daily glory Ah Lord thou knowest how my heart seeketh to find thee that I may enjoy thee who art and who only art the joy and rejoycing of my heart that I may love thee fear thee adore thee praise thee prize thee and give up my self unto thee who hast given thy self for me and to me O Lord thou art all things and givest all things unto all Creatures all things have their all from thee who art all in all in all things thou art O Lord brighter and much more glorious then the Sun for the glorious brightness of the Sun is from the brightness of thy glory the Heavens have their beauty from thy beautifulness the earth and the Sea their plenty fulness from thy plentiful fulness all the Creatures have all their strength from thy strength and man his power might and wisdome to govern them and all things under the Sun from thine Almighty power and wisdome Ah most glorious Lord God who art thus glorious to behold how can I Worme behold thy glory or thee O Lord the Lord of all glory I confess and acknowledge that I am not able of my self to know my self my vileness wretchedness emptiness and nothingness how then O Lord am I able to know thee or to consider thee as thou art in thy self and how much thy goodness exceeds my badness thy wisdome my folly thy strength my weakness thy fulness my emptiness thine Almightiness my nothingness and yet how content am I though nothing or less worth then nothing yea to be turned even into nothing for thy sake But seeing O Lord thou hast in thy great goodness love and mercy made me thine make me now O Lord even what thou wilt and send me whether thou wilt I am ready and willing to to goe and be and do and suffer yea to spend and to be spent for thee for thou knowest O Lord God if I desire to live it is to live to thee in thee and for thee to praise thee and for thy praise for to praise thee is to live and this to do only is the only desire I have to live for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave thy presence being my Heaven on earth and thy absence my Hell having thee O Lord I have my all but wanting thee I want all that I would have thou only art able to content to satisfie and to please me but nothing but thee noâ—hing out of thee nothing besides thee O my God yea all things besides thee cannot give me any true pleasure delight or contentment O give me then so thy self my sweet Jesus as I may be alwayes with thee never without thee that I may wholly give up my self unto thee to be made holy like unto thee that my heart may be according to thine own heart and that thou may'st delight thine heart O Lord to set thine heart upon me and to make me thy delight thy joy and thy Crown of glory and to love me and to do me good even with that goodness of heart with thine own goodness wherewith thou lovest thine own that my will may in all things be conformable and made subject to thy will to will all that thou willest willingly and to nill all that thou nillest with the same willing will And grant O Lord that mine eyes may be alwayes open to behold thee mine ears to hear thee my mouth to praise thee mine armes to imbrace thee my feet to run after thee and my heart heartily to love honour fear and adore thee so that all my members and faculties both in soul and body may be as instruments only to act thy motions that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee who art all love and only lovely my dear my sweet and saving Saviour Jesus Ah Lord God make me willing to give my self up unto thee that did'st so willingly give up thy self for me and to be made like unto me that I might be made like unto thee thou rejoyced'st O Lord to come down from Heaven on earth to lift me up from earth into Heaven to live a mortall life on earth that I might live an immortal life in Heaven to dye on earth to free me from eternal death and to give me Eternal life thou wert O Lord made subject to all infirmities on earth to confirme and make me for ever free from them in Heaven seeing then thou wert O Lord willing to come to me in blood even through thine own blood to wash me out of my blood and to make me for ever clean Ah Lord wash not my hands and my feet only but my head and my heart also even my bloody heart that hath delighted so much and so often to make thy innocent heart to bleed yea to shed the last drop of blood that was in thy heart Thou would'st O Christ thou would'st ware an ignominious Crown of Thornes here on earth that I might weare a glorious Crown of glory hereafter in Heaven thou wol'st O Christ thou would'st be whip'd that thy stripes might heal me thou would'st thou would'st O Christ be bound to loose me and set me free thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be accurst that I might be for ever blest thou would'st O Christ thou would'st have thine armes nail'd abroad to shew the breadth of thy love they feet nail'd to shew the length of thy love and thy head pierst with Thornes to shew the height of thy love and thy heart opened with a speare to shew the depth of thy love Ah breadth length height and depth of love that such a God would be thus wounded to heal such a man as I am thus accurst to make me blest thus bound to make me free thus
holy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven and would be as willingly Sanctified as Glorified this his imperfection causeth him to long for perfection and this his holiness in part to long to be dissolved to enjoy for ever perfect holiness but though he be thus tossed on the restless waves of tentation tryal and affliction this spirit of God that dwelleth and abideth in him assureth him that all these things are tokens of Gods love and come from him in love and therefore he is content for that he knowes that his Lord and Master Christ Jesus is touched with the feeling of his infirmities and was in all points like unto him yet without sin 186. This spirit comforts him when he is comfortless and binds up his broken heart heals his wounded heart visits his sick heart gives feeling to his senceless heart life to his dead heart faith to his doubting heart hope to his dispairing heart speaks peace to his disconsolated and afflicted heart and gives understanding sence memory and reason unto his distracted heart 187. He that hath this spirit he is grieved to see Christ dishonoured by any and to see him blasphemed and evil spoken off is to throw durt and dung in his face mens dishonest filthy lives and conversation makes his soul â—o melt his heart to quake his eares to tingle and to gnash his teeth for grief he goeth mourning all the day long and lamenteth with a most bitter lamentation to hear the mockings of God and his Word because this is to Crucifie his Jesus afresh and to put him again to open shame 188. For he that hath this spirit rejoyceth to hear the name of God and of Christ magnified and praised to hear him well spoken off causeth his heart to leap within him as the Babe did in Elizabeths Womb for he loves those that love him and honour those that honour him and such only he accounteth his Father and Mother his Brothers and Sisters that do the will of God his Father which is in Heaven for he esteemeth only the true Christian to be wise and rich and honourable though otherwise he be poor and vile and contemptible in the eyes and esteem of men his very heart and soul cleaves unto these as the heart of Jonathan did unto David for 189. He that hath this spirit of God dwelling in him dwelleth in love and God the God of love in him he loves the souls of all men as his own soul whether they be relations or strangers he prays for them in secret and exhorts them in publick yea he weeps bitterly for all such as are not yet brought home to Christ but especially for such as he seeth are dead in their sins as have eyes but see not eares but hear not feet but walk not hands but handle not mouths but tast not for all such as walk after the flesh and do the works of the flesh for with his will he would that none did goe to Hell and that the Kingdome of Satan were not so populous and that he had not so many faithful Servants which are so faithless to Jesus Christ and to their own poor souls he would that all would believe and receive Christ that they might be all saved because he knoweth that many are interressed in every souls Salvation both in Heaven and on earth 190. This spirit opens Heavens Gates and leads the soul into the Inner Courts and carryes him up into the Brides Chamber and feasts him in his Banqueting house and fills and solaces his heart not with the delicacies of Egypt not with the Milk and Hony of Canaan but with those sweet rich delitious and pretious most pretious delicasies that are in that Heavenly Jerusalem the City of the living God where the spirit of all just men are made perfect they are fed continually with that rich dish of assurance and have the foretasts of those Eternal joyes which is that blessed rest prepared for the people of God 161. And thus this spirit causeth those in whom it dwelleth to rejoyce ever more and again I say to rejoyce for can any man in whom this spirit dwelleth who is the Sanctifier and the Comforter and sent us from Heaven by our blessed Saviour be afflicted can any mourn whil'st the Bridgroome is with them Ah no surely no for he comes with healings in his wings he bringeth Ah he bringeth the glad tydings of peace and salvation to all soules where it cometh to abide and thus are all the Sons of God led by his spirit comforted by his Spirit ravisht with his Spirit taught by his Spirit feasted by his Spirit brought home unto him by his Spirit and made one with him by his Spirit for we have all access unto the Father through the same Spirit let this then teach us all that are acquainted with the works of this Spirit not to quench its motions not to afflict or grieve this holy Spirit of blessedness but be always ready and willing to receive him and entertaine him for if we delight in him and to abide with him he will delight in us and delight to abide in us for he will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoaking flax but wheresoever there is the true sincere and unfained desires of grace he will give grace according to these desires for he will never leave us comfortless but will come unto us and where he hath begun his work he will as assuredly finish it he will never leave nor forsake us if we do not leave not forsake him but will make our weak and imperfect grace strong and perfect glory for he knoweth all our desires and the thoughts and imaginations of our hearts are not hid from him but are alwayes open and naked before him and he delighteth most to feed us when we are most hungry and to refresh us when we are most thirsty and to cloath us most richly when we are naked and to give us the greatest treasure when we are poorest and to visit us when we are most sick for his absence and to comfort us when we are most disconsolated and afflicted and when we cast our selves down then doth he delight to raise us up to the highest and when we think our selves worst then doth he esteem us at the best and after our mourning causeth us to rejoyce and wipes away all tears from our eyes 192. Thus is this Spirit unto us all things who bringeth us much more joy then we are able to ask then we are able to think it Convinceth our hearts of sin of Righteousness and of Judgment 193. This Spirit giveth wisdome to the simple and teacheth the Ignorant knowledg and causeth him to understand so as Babes and Sucklings shew forth his mighty praises for he revealeth unto them what he hideth from the wise and mighty men of the earth and maketh appear plain that their Wisdome is but meer foolishness their strength weakness and their honours but as a leaf
continue I shall not I am sure grieve be sad repine nor sorrowful for its losse come when it will come and Ah that it were come if God so would 84. Thy Love O God O God thy Love thy Love is the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven there can be nothing more lovely or desirable either there or here Let me O Lord I beseech thee never leave sighing after it longing for it nor desiring to enjoy it until I do enjoy it with thy self in thy self by possessing thy blessed most blessed self O sweet Jesus who art all blessings and all blessednesse 85. One look of Love from Christ will make a man willingly and cheerfully to cast aside to cast away all things that hinder his loving of him though never so lovely or lawful near or dear unto him for his Love will constrain only to love him again 86. But how then Ah how then doth and will that Soul love him that seeth and knoweth alwaies that he is beloved by him he is fed with his Love yea continually feasted with his Love he is cloathed with his Love all his garments are Love his treasure is his Love his honour is his Love and his Love is all his pleasure and his delight he sees his Love in all things that he sees that he enjoys he is continually with him and this his sweet amiable and blessed presence of Love his most loving presence he cannot be without when he hath him not thus nigh him he seems to want all things and when he hath him thus he hath all things and wants nothing 87. Such a Soul rowleth dependeth and alwaies rejoyceth his heart is only made glad by his delightful approaches and indwellings so as he esteemeth no life like to this life of living in him to him and for him and when Ah when all other Subjects and Objects how loving or lawful soever at other times are outed of his mind memory heart and affections how glad is he how doth he rejoyce and leap and skip and sing for joy that he is with him alone that he enjoyeth him only that nothing hinders nor molests their sweet intercourse their sweet imbraces their mutual Delight Joy and Love 88. Love cannot endure to be molested when it hath what it would have there is none so rich so happy so honourable as he that is thus loved by God and lives alwayes in his love and is by him from his love made to walk worthy of his love for such is Gods love that he accepteth the willing will that is in us for the working deed when that it is upright true real and sincere 89. On Christ the King of love the soveraign tye and chaine of love thy love is so lovely so shining so transpiercing so bright so burning so Conquering so consuming that all other loves are consum'd at the very approach of thy love at thy comeing they flye away they are not heeded minded remembred nor thought on any more nay to forget them all what ever they be bringeth joy even such joy as is unspeakable for then the soul and body and all the facultyes and members thereof are filled with thee and thy joyes which are such as no tongue can tell nor no heart conceive thou dost so much excel O Lord thou dost so much excel as thus to enjoy thee Oh thou our Soveraigne best and superiour good the soul answereth Ah let it thus be ever with me let me be ever thus with thee O Christ with thee with thee let me Ah let me never goe from thee be absent from thee for there is nothing in Heaven that I desire like unto thee or in all the earth in Comparison of thee make me but as one of thy hired Servants that I may alwayes hear thee see thee and abide in thy blessed most blessed presence for in thy presence is always all joy unspeakable joy yea fulnesse of all joy that is unspeakable and from thy right hand flowes continually all pleasures for evermore 90. Thus is the soul wrapt up in Christ that enjoyes him he asks he seeks esteems prises nor desires no other joyes no other Heaven no other happinesse no other blessednesse then thus alwayes to enjoy him he is at rest at ease he hath all that he would have that he can ask or crave yea much above all that ever he did ask or think so much is Christ above all things and more then all things to them and to all them in whom he liveth in love and loveth to live and the soul breatheth out for more of his love that it may love him more and more 91. Look O man into this Glass and thou shalt plainly see thy inner man the heart of thy soul or the soul of thy heart whether it be or not a heart according to Gods heart or a heart according to thine own heart and the Devils thou shalt plainly see whether thou art Carnal or Spiritual dead in sin or alive by grace a faithful Servant of Jesus Christ or a slave to thine own vile base lusts and affections of sin and Satan whether thou art a Member of Christs Mystical body betrothed unto him by grace or still a Member of Satans vile body made one with him by sin whether or no thou hast the divine nature in thee or still remainest in thine own fleshly sinful wretched nature and this thou mayest easily see and know by examining of thine affections what thou lovest most prizest choosest delightest in thinkest on and esteemest most what is most the end of thy aime and the aime of thy end after what thou most runnest pantest breathest gapest hungrest and thirstest after what is most in thy thoughts yea what thou makest thy thoughts most what are thy inward longings if thou choosest all his wayes freely and universally the hard and rough to the flesh as well as the easie pleasant and delightful and that with pleasure and delight and rejoycest to walk in them and to make them and to make them thy delight if his yoke be to thee easie and his burthen light if it be thy meat and drink to do all his whole and holy will on earth as it is done in Heaven if it be the Heaven that thou desirest on this side Heaven thy earthly Heaven thy Heaven on earth to do his whole and holy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Consider 92. Art thou born again not in the flesh but in the spirit that is transformed changed and made a new Creature throughout in spirit soul and body in thought word and deed are all old things put away wholly and totally cheerfully and willingly with consent delight applause joy rejoycing and thanksgiving and are all things become new hast thou a new mind new heart new desires new endeavours new will and affections at all times in all places companyes and things throughly seriously circumspectly faithfully sincerely ardently continually and universally that is prevailingly against all sinful fleshly desires
gift that God gives man here on Earth is to assertain and assure him by his own Spirit that he hath and will give him him self for ever hereafter to behold his face in Heaven and that we are his and shall be his for ever 64. Ah Lord God I beseech thee augment and increase my Faith that it may remove the mountains of my sins altogether out of my sight that they may never shadow thy graces in me any more but that I may alwaies say as now thine own Spirit in me causeth me to say sweetly and boldly that thou art mine and I am thine that so I may in all needs wants crosses and afflictions whatsoever say I have enough I shall not want I cannot be poor because the Lord is my God and my Portion for ever and for ever 65. Ah Lord God let me feel anew and afresh daily what I have felt of thy Love and kindnesse in truth and know more and more clearly that thou art mine and that I am thine let me be still constantly assured that thou art my Lord and my God and that thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me but wilt live in me for ever and for ever 66. Let all doubts and fears be scattered that Satan may never gather them together to molest or trouble me that my joy may be full that I may alwaies joy in this thy so great Salvation and be made glad by the light of thy countenance shining upon me which is better much by much and cheareth more than any wine 67. It is a most sweet thing to live free from all sin 68. To see our selves as we are in our selves and as we are in Christ in our selves black ugly deformed loathsome filthy and abominable but in Christ comly fair beautiful white clean pure bright delightful and spotlesse to see our selves in our selves darknesse black thick horrible darknesse but in Christ transparent transcendent bright light to see our selves in our selves weak but in Christ strong to see our selves in our selves barren but in Christ fruitful to see our selves in our selves very foolishnesse but in Christ ture Wisdom to see our selves in our selves lovelesse but in Christ lovely to see our selves in our selves nothing but in Christ all things to see our selves in our selves sinners miserable sinners members of Satan heirs of Hell and eternal damnation but in Christ Ah in Christ our Christ without sin as if we had never sinned as members of his own glorious body and coheirs with him of Eternal Life and Glory thus Faith doth cause us to see our selves when our eyes are opened 69. I had much rather by much have Obedience than any grace of comfort or assurance I had rather much by much be wholly obedient and want assurance than have assurance and fail in any point of obedience 70. Ah God my God and my only good give this grace that I may be wholly obedient unto all thy holy Laws and Divine Commandments for as thou lookest on it as the best of Sacrifices so my Soul rejoyceth more in it than in all graces for me thinks it comprehends all graces to be obedient from true sincere unfained Love Such a one would be wholy holly do thy whole and holy will alwaies for such a Soul makes the keeping of thy Commandments the only joy of his heart and the solace of his Soul 71. What Ah what a sweet most sweet cordition is it to live in God only and to see our selves in him for then the heart desires nothing else nor the mind minds nothing else nor the will chuse any thing else nor the affections love any thing else nor the Soul cares for any thing else nay it rejoyceth for that it is thus divorst from all things else an Ah how it chuseth and desireth thus to be ever to be ever thus to joy only in God and to make God only his joy 72. The heart and Soul is then to the World and to all the things of the World as a man asleep he values no more Crowns Scepters not Kingdoms wisdome strength beauty riches honours or pleasures than a stock or a stone doth or can do he is so senslesse so benum'd frozen icy and cold that he hath no sense or feeling he is caught up above all these high things here below and when he doth return to consider them Ah how low vain and foolish doth he account them nay he maketh not any account of them at all either great or smal 73. He weeps to see that he hath esteemed them as he hath and laughs at their folly that do chuse them for their choice best soveraign and chief good 74. A Soul in such a condition saith what have I any more to do with such Idols Ah that I could faith such a Soul ever enjoy my God so as that all things out of him and besides him might give me no joy 75. Such a Soul saith when and whilst I have the best good the soveraign good take the other he that will I would Ah I would with my whole heart give all to any so I could give the thoughts of it likewise that it might never more come into my thoughts but that I might be so swallowed up in God as he might only contain me and be all my all 76. What hath the King more than the beggar or what is he more when he is asleep as to enjoyment the beggar then wants nothing of what his heart desireth and the King possesseth nothing then of all that he possesseth according to the desires of his heart they are then alike frustrate of all things and possesse nothing 77. Even so it is with the Soul nay with the whole man when he is drawn in drowned buried or swallowed up in God he is asleep yea dead to all things out of God and besides God and saith what are all these outward glorious beautiful Objects to those which I did enjoy in God Ah if I could if I could alwaies possesse these what would I care for them they are to me at such times even as if they were not in comparison of what they are at other times I can and do now heartily laugh them to scorn and have them in contempt and derision my God my God is so good he is so good and so delightful as he is now become my whole and my sole delight 78. Ah if it could be ever thus with me I am sure I should never want any of these things that the flesh craves not bread to feed me not drink to refresh me not cloaths to cover me having and possessing the things above and could they Ah and could they alwaies be possest I think none but mad men and fools will dare say that we want any of the things below though we should want them all As to me I am sure I should not find any vvant If I could be alvvaies as I have been sometimes 79. But O Lord I praise thee O Lord I mightily
what ever my failings or my fallings be to recover me and comfort me as thou did'st Peter for I know and firmly through grace believe that what thou wert thou art and wilt be ever unto me a sin pardoning God a God pardoning all my sins whatsoever And seeing O God my God that thou art such a God as thou art give me grace that whatever I do I may do it to thy Glory for thy Glory and never more Ah never more willingly wittingly or knowingly sin against thee in thought word or deed but freely and cheerfully depart henceforth from all iniquity with my whole heart and Soul even from all both the great and the small that I may be ever thine and all thine from this time forth and for ever more Amen 111. Thus the Lord brings good out of evil Sweet out of bitter and gives us as at this time unto my poor Soul new tokens pledges and assurances of his old Love 112. Ah Lord let this thy Love and kindnesse even thy most loving and kind Love be alwaies had in remembrance of me and cause me to cling to thee to cleave to thee to hold thee fast and never to let thee go and let me alwaies say the Lord be praised the Lord be praised alwaies 113. Ah Lord seeing I have so deeply and so sweetly drank of and at this thy wel of consolation let it be in me ever a well of living water that may never grow dry that I may alwaies suck at this breast to refresh my Soul when I am a thirst 114. I sincerely confesse and professe were I to spend all my daies to praise thee that the time would be too too short much by much to shew forth thy loving kindnesse and thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me And therefore my soul praiseth thee and rejoyceth for that there shall be no end of that time which thou hast O God appointed wherein I shall speak of and sing thy praises it shall be World without end that I shall praise thee O God the God of my Salvation and my God 115. O God let this mercy be alwaies as fire to heat me as food to feed me as drink to refresh me as wine to comfor me as cloaths to cloth me as riches of all sorts to inrich me let it be to me alwaies all things Let it not lose its worth nor fast by lying but let it be alwaies as the honey-comb dropping honey to revive and comfort and strengthen me and that I never forget what a God thou art and that thou changest not thou art still the same God blessed for ever and for ever 116. Ah Lord let me never forget these thy mercies but through grace and the presence of thy Holy Spirit walk worthy of them unto all eternity through the worthinesse merits and obedience of Jesus Christ thy only Son and my alone Saviour and Redeemers sake Amen 117. Many times God is so good and gratious so merciful and loving unto us that then even then when we fear we shall see his frowns that he will frown on us when we come before him He to our great astonishment and admiration smiles on us When we fear that he will strike us with the rod of his anger he imbraceth and kisseth us with the kisses of exceeding transcendent Love when we fear he will be absent he is then many times most sweetly present surpassing much by much all sweets conceivable as he was at this time to me which Ah that I could alwaies bear in mind that I might henceforth and forever live as I should live to his honour and for his glory only 118. Thus is our God good that he bringeth us good when we fear evil and sometimes sheweth us that his goodnesse is so great towards us for us that he mindeth not our evil 119. Surely when we mind it much and afflict our selves and are heartily ashamed and confounded by reason of our weaknesses failings and imperfections he sheweth that he will not punish us when we do as it were thus freely and severely punish our selves he knoweth of what we are made and that we are but dust and yet he delighteth that we love him fear him prise him praise him and believe him and make him and his Love all our delight and joy 220. Ah Lord suffer me never more to requite this thy exceeding great kindnesse with the least or any unkindnesse but that I may henceforth walk before thee circumspectly and wisely with a heedful watchful careful care doing alwaies thy will with my whole heart mind and will 121. When a Soul sees himself free from the Love liking or allowing of any sin it see its self in God and how it is made partaker of the Divine Nature that it is a little spark or beam of that glorious Light which is pure trasparent bright and clear and having no mixture nor no cloud for sin only brings darknesse in the Soul sin only is the cloud which eclypses the Light of this glorious Sun sin only darkens and weakens our sight and our knowledge and hinders us that we do not nor cannot see our selves as we are in God but when that sin is done away totally that is all Love liking and allowance then are the eies of our understanding opened and all darknesse is swallowed up done away and wholy and totally consumed and we are swallowed up in to this Divine Light by which we are made to see and know our selves as we are in God a part as it were of this Light even this Light it self in some measure it is so in us and we are so in it we see our selves clear and free from all fears and cares being delivered from them and having obtained the fulnesse of knowledge desired or desirable that is that we are partakers of him that is all purity all light all wisdom all serenity peace contentednesse and rest all passions ceasing of desiring more for all the desires are satisfied having this knowledge to see our selves and know our selves to be with him and in him which to know to behold is to partake of and this is Eternal Life in us 122. But when the mind of man I mean only his thoughts is on any sinne though never so smal or never so little if in the least measure consented unto it robs him at that time of all his happinesse his sight is darkned his eies are so dim that he cannot look up sin is so heavy so devilish that it presseth the Soul downward to Hell to the Devil which plainly shews its Center whence it is and what it is for the time that it is thus liked or loved or but connived at it metamorphoses the Soul and makes it instead of being God-like Spiritual Knowledge Light Purity Serenity Peace Rest Comfort Joy and full contentednesse to be in some measure Devil-like darknesse fear shame horror confusion condemnation accusation hanging yea falling alwaies downward and not able in the least measure to
thy Soul that God censure thee not for it but convince thee and convert thee even as if thou wert a part of my very self and as if my well being did consist in thy well being for be thou what ever thou art though I hate thy sin and be offended at it yet I truly and in all faithfulness love thy self and thy Soul and would with my heart that it go so well with thee as it doth through the free Grace Love and Mercy of God in Jesus Christ with me And I shall continue to contend with God in the behalf of thy Soul ann the pardon of thy sins as for my own I know what it is to be a great sinner and I also know through the infinite and incomprehensible Love of God what it is to be washed cleansed pardoned justified sanctified and saved from all sin and to be in Christ without spot or wrinckle undefiled And therefore I cannot in humility I speak it but as God love all Souls with true and unfeigned Love heartily praying and desiring that none might perish but that all might come to partake of everlasting life to enjoy for ever those heart and Soul ravishing joyes that God hath prepared and laid up for all those that truly love him I intend not to speak anything touching the method nor to crave the excuse of any for any thing that may not savour with them I know from whom I have received it and he I am sure will patronize and protect it and blesse it in some measure I hope unto all that shall read it but whatever successe it find I shall find I am sure all that I seek for which is peace within during this life and honour glory and immortality in the World to come which good Lord grant for Christ his sake unto all those that love thee and wait for thine appearing And thus dear hearts I leave you to the guidance of the good Spirit of the Lord to direct you in all your thoughts and words that they and all your actions as well as mine may be now and alwaies acceptable in his sight who is our strength and our Redeemer to him who is able to keep you from the hour of temptation and to preserve you blamelesse until the hour of his coming I commit and commend you Remaining In London Anno 1654. IN the Name of the most Holy Glorious and Blessed Trinity God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost one God blessed for ever to whom be given and ascribed as all due is and to none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving by me and by the whole world of his Elect Now and for ever more Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it THomas Arundell the poorest vilest basest and most unworthiest of all the servants of the living God altogether unworthy of that most Worthy Glorious and Right Honourable Title but trusting on his mercy and Free Grace to be made worthy through the merits and worthiness of Jesus Christ and in him to be accounted worthy Doth in all humility of heart most humbly beg and implore his Divine Majesty in Jesus Christ to inspire bless and assist him with his holy Spirit that he may here following set down only the sincere breathings and longings of his soul in truth and sincerity of heart and that he may grow daily from one degree of grace unto another from step to step untill he come to that height and fulness of measure of holiness appointed by God in Jesus Christ who is the fountain the Ocean and the fulness of all happiness and blessedness being God equal with the Father Blessed for ever and ever A Prayer O Most Holy most Glorious Eternal Incomprehensible Lord God full of Grace and Truth Maker and Giver of all things both in heaven and in earth from all eternity unto all eternity thou art and there is none besides thee God blessed for ever and ever Thou givest O Lord freely fully and continually and art never weary nor repentest all our springs are in thee and from thee thou canst not increase nor diminish whatever is done for or against thee Ah Lord my God give me so much of thy self as I may be like unto thee in all things by grace here and in glory hereafter that I may stedfastly faithfully heedfully carefully and circumspectly do thy whole and holy will on earth untill I come to glorifie thy Name in heaven O Lord conform my will unto thy most holy and most blessed will that I may serve and please thee by all my thoughts words and actions not turning a side to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Let thy most holy and most blessed Spirit teach me lead me guide me and so direct and govern me that the thoughts of my heart the words of my mouth and the works of my hands may be now and alwaies acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer O Lord that searchest all hearts and triest the reins pondering all our actions be pleased in Jesus Christ to look down upon me poor vile sinfull dust and ashes the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men and for his sake wash away all my iniquities and purge me from all my sins and my transgressions known or unknown secret or revealed past present and to come and for the merits of that most dear and pretious blood of thy dear and only Son which was I believe shed for me on the Cross. O Lord grant that I may appear blamelesse and spotlesse before thy throne of Grace and Justice at all times when I come before thee that thou maiest have delight in me and in all the works of my hands and maiest according to thy good promise graciously hear and answer my petitions and requests which I most humbly and unfeignedly desire may be framed in my heart by thy holy Spirit that they may be according to thy holy mind and will and finde acceptation through the mediation and merits of thy dear only and beloved Son Jesus Christ the Righteous And grant O most mercifull and loving Father in Jesus Christ my Redeemer that I may set down from time to time the only Dictates of thy holy and most blessed Spirit unto my poor soul not any head notions but my very hearts frame and only desires and motions that they may both then and ever after refresh rejoyce glad and comfort me and cause me to bring forth fruit to newness and amendment of life for the honour and glory of thy great Name and grant that I may ever renounce all merit or worthiness in my self for the very least of all thy mercies no not for the crumbs that fall by thy providence from the childrens table Sure I am the more light I have from thee O Lord my God I shall the better and clearer see my own darknesse the more I have of thy wisdom the better I
be Ignominious all my days and honour my God alwayes then be honourable all my days and dishonour my God but one day 15. Of all afflictions O God my God let not sin be my affliction afflict me not with sin for sin 16. A wounded heart a heart wounded with sin who can bear 17. What burthen so intolerable heavy as the burthen of one sin only if the Lord lift it not up with one of his fingers 18. I ask nothing in Heaven or Earth but God in Christ. 19. God in Christ is all things for all things out of Christ is to me nothing he is my joy and my Salvation 20. I had much rather me thinks be ever afflicted then never afflicted whilst on earth 21. Though by thy free grace O God thou hast in love and mercy brought me home unto thee yet thou hast used affliction as the means therefore do I love and kiss the Rod because thou hast appointed it 22. I love affliction because it was the hand by which thou did'st O God lead me out of affliction that is out of sin 23. I love affliction because by it thou hast taught me to love thee yea so to love thee as I love nothing in comparison of thee but all things in subordination to thee 24. I love affliction because in it I saw thee in me and my self in thee 25. I love affliction because by it I saw that thou did'st love me 26. I love affliction because it taught me to love thy Statutes to choose them imbrace them and delight in them 27. And I will love affliction because it will keep me in the ways of thy Statutes 28. I love afflictions because they are lovely and sent from thee the God of Love to me in Love 29. I Love afflictions because thou hast sanctified them to me and me by them 30. I love affliction because since that I was deeply afflicted for sins I have not been afflicted with sins triumph nor raign 31. I love afflictions because thou hast made them O God unto me Lovely 32. I love afflictions because thou hast ever sweetned them unto me by Sanctification 33. I love afflictions because by them thou hast taught me how to bear afflictions 34. I love afflictions because by them thou hast taught me how to afflict my self that is my flesh for sins afflictions 35. O my God give me what afflictions thou wilt so by them thou suffer me not to afflict thee who I know never took'st pleasure to afflict me 36. If I had not known afflictions me thinks I had never sought to learn to know thee nor thy knowledge 37. If I had not been undone I may justly fear I had been for ever undone 38. Give me O Lord as many sanctified afflictions as thou pleasest for then in the mid'st of them I am sure I shall please thee 39. O Lord suffer not any affliction to afflict me with murmurings or repynings which I am sure will afflict thee 40. I desire ever to praise thee O Lord for that I never had affliction in the flesh to my remembrance but it brought me comfort in the Spirit 41. So that I may say through grace my afflictions have been my best and choisest benedictions 42. So esteeming them give me O Lord this grace to esteem them as tokens and signs of grace 43. O Lord make me ever thankfull for all these thy afflictions which deserve so much thanks 44. O Lord I heartily thank thee for that thou hast made my heart such as it doth truly thank thee for them 45. Give me grace O Lord to will thy will and to submit to all thy Wills Will. 46. Ah Lord give me grace to know thy will and a will to learn to know thy grace 47. Thy glory is my gloryes end thy end is my gloryes aime 48. I desire no other honour O Lord then to have the honour to be thy Servant 49. I will rejoyce in any Condition so I may be in the Condition of thy Servant 50. O Lord I am willing to do any work so it may be thy work 51. Thy glory O Lord is my only longing my only joy delight desire aime and end 52. O Lord let me never be ashamed to do thy work though never so mean in the eies of men let it be alwayes beautifull honourable and glorious to my eies heart will and affections 53. Give me Christ O God on any terms and conditions and I will confess them to be honourable terms and conditions advantagious and glorious 54. I had much rather have Communion with Christ in a dungeon then be adorned and ever possess all Solomons outward glory in a Palace 55. Communion with Christ will I am sure make me content in all places and conditions 56. In Christ I am sure there is fulness of joy and all true peace and comfort though without any of all the worlds comforts 57. In Christ there is all pleasure though in the worlds frowns disgrace and displeasures 58. In Christ there is true light though in the worlds dark Dungeons 59. Thy smiles O Christ my Christ are my Heaven and thy frowns let me never know for I fear them as the worst of Hell 60. Let me enjoy that Heaven and I care not for all other Hells 61. Ah sweet Jesus let thy will be my will that my will may be always according to thy will 62. Let nothing O Lord satisfie me but my assurance of being in thee and thou in me 63. Let me always O Lord meditate on thy love and mercyes in loving me 64. Ah suffer not any thing in this world of this world to content or delight me unless thou be in it my sweet Iesus 65. O Lord grant that as often as I do sin I may sigh and sorrow for sin and earnestly desire to sin no more 66. Grant that I may set all my affections and love on thee my dear Saviour and Soveraigne Lord who art the Fathers glory the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 67. Grant O Lord who art my God and all my good that in all Conditions I may abundantly rejoyce with true contentment and not at all to murmur or repine at thy hand though heavy on me 68. Ah Lord be thou always all my thoughts all my joy and the only and all the rejoycing of my heart 69. Grant that I may always love thee O my Lord more then my life yea then the life that is the Salvation of my Soul 70. Grant O Lord that I may not so much by much labour for the joyes of Heaven to my self as to do thy will on earth in love only to thy self 71. Grant O Lord that all my solace may be in uprightness of heart to serve thee 72. O Lord give me grace that whilst I am on earth I may labour to do thy will with my whole will as it is done in Heaven 73. Grant O Lord that I may every day yet all the day long have Communion with thee the Spirit
us both abide and let me dwell in thee 163. Let it never seperated be from thee nor me but of two let us be made one and never more be alone 164. My whole desire O Lord is to do thy will it is to thee and to remember thee 165. O Lord lead me by thy holy and blessed Spirit that I may never be led astray 166. Let me not O Lord do any thing by my self as for my self but all things by thy self and for thy self 167. Be thou alwayes with me that I may never be without thee O most holy and blessed Spirit my Sanctifier that I may be all and alwayes sanctified 168. Let me love thee O Lord more for thy service sake then for my souls sake 169. Let me desire and long for Heaven more to do thy will then to have my will 170. O Lord if thou wert not in Heaven I would not desire Heaven but my desire should be to be with thee 171. O Lord let the same desires be in me whilst I am on earth as shall be in me when I am in Heaven 172. The desire of my heart and soul O Lord thou knowest is only to thee and for thee and to be alwayes guided by thee 173. Increase this holy desire in me O Lord untill my soul and body shall be filled with thy blessed fulness 174. O sweet Jesus dwell in me ever and goe not out of me never for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave 175. I am most willing and ready to loose my life to preserve thee O Lord but not to preserve my life to loose thee 176. O Lord what thou hast given me which is all take when thou wilt and in what manner thou wilt 177. Make O Lord thine own Conditions with me I will make none with thee but to obey thee and serve thee on thine own terms 178. Teach me O Lord to know my self as thou knowest me and to hate my self for sin as thou lovedst me when I was in my sin 179. I desire to hate sin as the Devil to fear sin as Hell and to fly from sin as from thy wrath O great God 180. With thee I desire to leave and give my self O sweet Jesus receive me and accept of me 181. O Lord go with me where I am to go that I may be alwayes with thee never from thee nor do any thing without thee 182. O Lord let me only do what thou consentest unto 183. I fear sin much more then the Author of sin 184. Sin is my worst my greatest and my strongest Enemy 185. Give me Grace and strength O sweet Jesus to Conquer sin and I shall not fear all other Enemies 186. Had I but one sin unforgiven and thou should'st O Lord make me my own Iudge I should and could not do other wayes then condemne my self for ever into Hell 187. I desire ever to magnifie Laud praise and extoll thy glorious name O Lord God for making Iesus Christ my Iudge whom thou hast appointed also to be my advocate 188. Were I to choose I would choose no other for both 189. For sure I am I cannot loose my cause if he plead it nor be condemned he Iudging me who was Iudged and condemn'd for me 190. He dyed for me and therefore I shall not see that death 191. He hath paid my ransome and therefore I must be acquitted 192. He hath suffered and therefore I shall ever raign 193. He wore a Crown of Thornes that I might ever weare a Crown of Eternall and incomprehensible weight of Glory 194. He is risen and hath led Captivity Captive that I might be delivered for ever out of all Captivity 195. He is ascended up on high and therefore I am sure he will lift me unto him 196. He is gone to prepare a place for me therefore I am sure I shall be for ever well plac'd 197. He is sate down on the right hand of God and hath convinc'd and Conquer'd all my accusers and enemies therefore I shall in quiet rest and perfect peace sit down with him and by him 198. He hath all power and Authority given him by God therefore I am sure no power shall or can hurt me 199. He hath provided a place for all his Children and Servants therefore I will not be afraid nor fear 200. He hath promised and he is faithfull therefore I will believe and not doubt but rejoyce 201. O Lord let me fear nothing but thee nor love â—othing but thy feare 202. My love O Lord to thee is surely thy 〈…〉 203. O Lord put the vaile of thy fear before my eyes and my heart that I may not sin against thee by neâ—ther 204. Ah Lord God suffer me never more to doubt of thy love seeing thou hast so freely and willingly given the Son of thy love even thy dear only eldest naturall and beloved Son Jesus Christ to dye for me and in my place and stead 205. Ah sweet Jesus Be thou pleased so to take up thy aboad in my heart and to dwell there as I may alwayes find thee there to comfort me and to direct me how to walk well pleasing unto thee let me always hear thee speaking to me how I shall do every thing I take in hand to do so that all my thoughts words and deeds may tend only to thy honour and glory the Credit of the Gospel the good of others and the eternall Salvation of mine own soul. 206. Ah Lord give me grace in all afflictions to consider that its much less then I deserve and that thou mightest justly have sent them on me sooner 207. Hell O Lord I confess is only my desert what less thou givest me is more then I have or can deserve and less punishment then the least of my sins hath deserved 208. Therefore in all Conditions I desire to bless thy name and to praise thee with a thankfull contented and rejoycing heart 209. Le O Lord all thy afflictions teach me and tell me that thou art mindfull of me and that they are friendly yea Fatherly Visitations and tokens of thy Fatherly true love in Iesus Christ. 210. O Lord suffer me not to sell my portion in Heaven for any Portion of earth on earth the honours riches or pleasures thereof 211. Let even this Portion thy service and work O God be preferred by me and be dearer to me then all things of this world 212. A Christian once in Christ united to him cannot be taken out of him no more then the same water cast into the Sea can be taken out again for he is become a part of Christ even as the drops that fall into the Sea are forthwith a part thereof 213. Seeing then thou hast made me one with thee received me a little drop into thy self the Ocean of blessedness and of all goodness happiness and felicity My sweet Jesus I am sure I shall never be separated from thee 214. Let me O God so live the
him to love him is to fear him and to fear him is to serve him and to serve him is to obey him and to obey him is to do his will and to do his will is to give up our wills to his will and to give up our wills to his will is to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills and to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills is to have a heart according to his own heart 59. It is not what I do or can do but what I would do that best pleaseth thee my God who giveth both to will and to do 60. O Lord let not what or any thing of that I do please me untill I am sure that it please thee 61. O Lord suffer me not to seek my own delight but let my delight be to delight thee who art the delight of my soul and in whom only my soul delighteth 62. If thy back parts O Lord do so much rejoyce my heart here on earth how shall thy face cause me to rejoyce in Heaven where I shall see thee face to face and know thee as thou art to be known 63. And seeing it is my only grief on earth that I have offended thee my God by sin it shall be my only joy in Heaven to praise thee for that thou art not offended with me for my sins 64. Give me O my God for Christ his sake thy Kingdome and thy Glory that I may give thee honour and glory for ever in thy Kingdome of glory 65. And till that day shall be give me grace O my sweet and saving Jesus so to watch and to waite that when thy Kingdome shall come I may rejoyce and say thy will O Lord be done and so enter into the joy of my Lord even into the Lord of my joy 66. To do thy will O God is all the thoughts and desires of my heart and will and in doing thy will is all the joyes delights and ravishments of my willing heart thus made willing through thine own good will 67. I know well that it s thou in me my dear and sweet Jesus that causeth my desires to desire thee and the heart of my soul to hunger and thirst for thee and also that giveth me boldness to speak unto thee 68. O Lord I desire nothing but what thou wilt and all that thou wilt I willingly would and willingly would nothing but what thou wilt 69. I had rather do thy will O my God on earth for thy self and thy sake then be in Heaven for my own self and my own sake thy service is dearer to me then my soul. 70. I had much rather do the least work for God then have the greatest good and benefit for my self 71. Whatsoever O Lord thou wilt have me to be doe and suffer that I willingly would be and long to do and suffer and to have and no other 72. Wilt thou O Lord have me poor afflicted persecuted banisht evil spoken off tormented tempted all these Lord and what else thou wilt so thou come with them I shall rejoyce in them and most willingly receive them 73. It is not Lord what I desire only but what thou hast ordained that I only desire 74. I know and am assured that thou wilt O Lord sooner cast the earth into the Sea and remove the Heavens then take any of thy love from those whom thou lovest 75. For seeing sin cannot nor shall not separate us Lord what shall what can 76. It is fixt on thy own love O Father in Jesus Christ thy Son most lovely and therefore unchangeable unmoveable 77. It is from thy great Love O my God that I find thee lovely but thy love is greater for that I love thee and yet more greater that I love thee only but more greater then all it is that thou hast ever loved and wilt ever love me 78. Ah love that passeth all degree the offended dyes to set the offenders free 79. It is thy mercy O God that I am not past mercy that I contemne not mercy that I know mercy that I value mercy that I prize mercy that I seek mercy that I hope for mercy am assured of mercy and that I desire the same mercyes for all others that are not past mercy 80. To will thy will O God is to do thy will when we would as willingly do it be it what it will as we will it 81. To serve thee best and most or to do thee O God most and best service is in most submitting to thy will be it what it will 82. It is not the work of the hand or of the head but of the heart that is according ot thy heart and most delighteth thy heart O my God the maker and the giver of all good hearts 83. To wait is better then to work if thou shewest us not what work is thy work and what work we shall do 84. Let me not O God ever ask any other condition then my present condition and alwaies submit to thy will in my condition as often as thou shalt change my condition and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best 85. And let chearfulness witness my contentedness and my contentedness be shown by my chearfulness 86. Ah Lord my Lord if thou did'st not at times afflict me how often should I Ah how often should I afflict thee 87. But I mightily desire to magnifie praise thee O my God for that I find when affliction comes on me thou comest with it and dost alwayes abundantly comfort me yea my greatest comforts have been when thou seemest as if thou would'st afflict me that is even in affliction 88. If affliction should goe from me I fear I should goe from all good which is from God 89. Afflict me O Lord so much as thou wilt and so often as thou pleasest so that in it I afflict not thee 90. In affliction I fear but out of affliction Ah Lord I consess I am careless Ah too too careless 91. Affliction makes me O Lord to run to thee to cry loud after thee and to importune thee for thy presence but out of affliction I goe softly I speak softly and know not how to beg with importunity 92. If the outward man receive such joy and delight in the Creature and by conversing with them Ah what joy delight and ravishment doth the inward man receive having Communion with God and enjoying his deare Creator 93. If earth and the things below be able to satisfie any surely surely Heaven and the things above shall be able and will satisfie all for every one there shall enjoy God who is all and in all 94. Seeing Heaven on earth is so sweet Ah how sweet is Heaven in Heaven or the Heaven of Heaven which is our God 95. And seeing Heavens joyes are so great on earth Ah how greatly great are they in Heaven 96. Ah sweet most ravishing sweet Jesus let me enjoy them so here that I
made an heir of misery to make me an heir of mercy thus to drink the dreggs of his Fathers Divine wrath that I might for ever drink in the streames and of the Ocean of his Divine love Ah love beyond degree an offended God thus dyes to set offending men free And thus hath God the Lord my Lord and my God freed me from Eternall paines and given me hopes here and assurance hereafter of Eternal joyes he hath brought me out of the neither Hell into the upper Heaven of grace here which shall be glory hereafter he hath freed he hath freed me from Eternal death and purchased for me Eternal life he hath broken he hath broken the chains of sin by which Satan held me and led me captive at his will and doth lead me forth by and with the chains of his Eternal and everlasting love enabling me through grace to do his own holy will And what Lord shall I render unto thee for all these thy benefits thou Lord knowest my unability my poverty I am I am I confess so poor yea so despicably poor O Lord as I have nothing to pay thee not can pay thee nothing but what thou shalt give me give me thee O Lord what thou wilt have me to give thee give me Oh give me I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ love to love thee fear to fear thee faith to beleive in thee to depend on thee and to rowle my self upon thee hope to trust in thee and joy to rejoyce in thee with joy unspeakable Ah Lord God give me thy self yea all thy self that I may give thee all my self and though I do I confess already own thee mine all yet I would willingly owe thee yet more and though I have nothing to pay thee yet I desire and heartily desire to owe thee more to be more indebted unto thee for I delight to be thy great debtor yea and would be thy greatest and so I confess I should be though thou shouldest neither give nor forgive me any more then thou hast already forgiven and given me Ah Lord I know that for all thy gifts of grace mercy pardon and forgiveness that thou expectest only an acknowledgment that I am thine all and that I owe thee my self and mine all the freedome Lord Ah Lord the freedome all the freedome all the freedome that I desire is to be thy Prisoner never any man desired so much to be let out of Prison as I do to be put in never any slave desired so much to be free as I doe to be bound unto thee O God my God unto thee unto thee my God never any man desired so earnestly to pay his debts as I desire to be further and to be more indebted give me O Lord I beseech thee more and more that I may every day yea every moment of the day all the dayes of my life unto the very last moment of the last day of my life be receiving that when this life is ended I may live an Eternal life to pay thee Eternally praise and thanksgiving Be thou then Ah sweet Jesus be thou alwayes in me that I may alwayes be in thee stand by me continually that I may alwayes stand unright and walk uprightly and never fall goe with me that I may never goe from thee abide O Lord abide ever in me that I may ever abide in thee act in me O Lord act ever in me that I may ever act for thee speak O Lord speak continually in me that I may continually speak for thee work for me O Lord work alwayes for me that I may alwayes work for thee live in me O Lord live alwayes in me that I may alwayes live to thee and for thee Ah Lord do all for me do all for me that all that I shall henceforth alwayes do may be all for thee that I may choose not my own will but thy will may be my choyce Ah Lord let me know thy blessed voyce that I may alwayes answer thee at thy blessed call whether it be by night or by day as Samuel did and say with him and with his heart speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with holy David for my heart is ready and with heavenly Paul what Lord what with thou have me to do Write O Lord I humbly beseech thy holy and divine lawes of grace in my heart that with my heart I may delight in them and thy Statutes in my mind that all even all my mind may be still on them that they may be a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins let thy Commandements O Lord be no more grievous unto me but joyous that I may ever find thy yoak easie and thy burthen light Let thy word O God feed me yea let me feast on it as on marrow and fatness let it refresh and comfort my heart as with Wine on the Lees yea as Wine well refined on the Lees let it be sweeter to my tast then hony yea then the hony comb Ah Lord let my heart be set on it and much more delighted with it then with gold yea then with much fine gold or pretious pearls let it distill into my heart to ravish it Ah Lord let it so ravish me as all my sences may be filled and delighted with its sweetness Let me O Lord hear it attentively understandingly and feelingly as thine own word which thine own mouth hath spoken that my mouth may be filled with thy praises yea that I may trumpet them forth loudly and sweetly let mine eyes alwayes look upon thee O Lord from whence my salvation cometh to behold thy beauty thy glory and thy blessedness as in thy Sanctuary that my feet may run in the wayes of thy Commandements and not grow weary and walk and not faint O Lord let me sit under the shadow of thy branches continually for thy fruit is very pleasant unto my tast there is none in Heaven O lord that my soul desireth as thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Ah how doth my soul and my heart long to be where thou art even where thou art O God in Heaven thy dwelling place glading and rejoycing the hearts of all those that behold thee beholding the brightness the sweetness the loveliness and the lovingness of thy most glorious most beautiful and most blessed countenance which to see is life yea much better then life Ah Lord bring me then home unto thee even to my long desired home that I may ever enjoy thee and live in thee my joy in whom my soul only delighteth to live for with thee I know is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at thy right hand O God are pleasures for ever more such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive Ah Lord God I well know and believe rejoycingly that thou knowest all things and
therefore knowest well how my heart and my soul panteth for thee longeth for thee coveteth for thee and most ambitiously hungreth and thirsteth after thee Ah Lord when shall that blessed time be and the day come that I shall be altogether emptyed of my own emptyness and filled with thy fulness be stript of my own raggs and cloathed with thy glorious robes be found out of my self in thee and be made partaker of thine own holy and Divine nature which is perfection and glory in glory yea perfect glory then shall I be no more mine own but thine own yea thine all so that all that I shall do shall please thee well and be right well pleasing unto thee for then I shall no longer do the evil which I would not and which I love but the good which I would and which I love yea the good and all the good that thou O God wilt and which thou lovest it shall not then be present with me only to will but to do also even all thy holy and whole and perfect will I shall then no longer desire to be stript of any thing that is in me because O God my God thou shalt be all in me and only in me then and there I shall no longer mourn for my unholiness nor pray for more blssedness but all tears fears and cares shall be all done away my unworthiness here shall through thy worthiness O sweet Jesus be accounted worthy my unrighteousness righteous my disobedience obedience and my imperfection perfect full and entire perfection through that ever blessed most blessed and only and all blessed perfection that is in thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah who would not then for a while feed on crums that he may eat of this bread and at last sup at this feast Ah who would not who would not be content to hunger a while to be brought to this banquet of heavenly daintie who would not Ah who would not be content for a little space to sit groveling on the ground and be covered with dust and ashes that he may at last sit at this Table who would not Ah who would not stay a while without with patience being assured at last yea and ere long to be brought in into the brides Chamber Ah who would not who would not be poor for a while to be made thus rich for ever Ah who would not who would not be content to be contemptible for a little space to be thus honoured and made truly honourable for ever Ah who would not who would not be right well content to be banisht for a while to be thus brought home in triumph gloriously to abide in his Fathers house for ever who would not Ah who would not be well content and rejoyce to be a stranger and a Pilgrim for a little while in a strange land to have such a possession for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not be in a storme for a while to enjoy for ever such a calme who would not who would not want the delicasies of Egypt forfa while to have the delicacyes of Heaven for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not refuse to be called the Son of Pharaohs Daughter for a while to be the Son of the Eternall living loving blessed God for ever and for ever Ah who would not who would not willingly and cheerfully suffer with the Children of God for a while for a little space to raigne with the Children of God for ever who would not Ah who would not willingly be cloathed with raggs for a while to ware for ever such glorious robes who would not Ah who is he that would not be Crowned with Throns for a moment to be Crowned with such a Crown of glory for ever Ah who would not who would not bear the Cross here till death that he may for ever ware the Crown of immortall life Ah who would not who would not suffer with Christ here to raigne with Christ for ever hereafter Ah who would not who would not be despised among men to be cherished among Angels Ah who would not vvho vvould not suffer as Lazarus did to raigne as Lazarus doth Ah vvho vvould not who would not suffer as a member of Christs mysticall body here to be member of his glorious body for ever hereafter Ah vvho vvould not vvho vvould not live the life of the righteous here to live for ever and ever with the righteous hereafter not in the bosome of Abraham but in the bosome of Abrahams Isaacs and Jacobs God In the meane time O Lord give me grace courage and strength to run that good race to fight that good fight that thou hast set before me perseveringly unto the end that I may as vvillingly vvare the Crovvn of Thorns here for thy sake as the Crown of glory here after for my ovvn sake that I may be as willingly under temptation here as to be freed from temptation hereafter that for thy sake O Lord I may as vvillingly be contemptable here as honourable hereafter that I may as vvillingly suffer O Lord for thee here as raigne vvith thee hereafter and that in all sufferings my only joy may be that I shall for ever enjoy thee But Ah Lord God what am I and vvhat is there in me and therefore vvhat am I able to do for thee or to render unto thee for this thy love vvhich far surpasseth the love of vvoman men or of Angels as there vvas never sorrow like to thy sorrow so there was never love like to thy love true it is O Lord for all this thy love thou requirest nothing but love againe Ah how faine would I love thee but I cannot as I would how much less then is it then I should when I would do good evil is present and I do the evil many times which I would not but do not cannot do the good which I would to will is many times present but how to performe I know not but thanks be unto God through our Lord Jesus Christ though with my flesh I serve the law of sin yet with my mind I serve the law of God Grant then O sweet Jesus and give me grace that I may love thee as thou hast loved me and do for thee as thou hast done for me and to this end make my heart upright before thee even according to thine own heart that it may no longer be mine own but thine own that I may be only thine wholy thine holy thine alwayes thine and ever thine that thou in me and I in thee I may from sin be ever free Teach me O Lord so to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto Wisdome that I may be alwayes mindfull of my last end and of the reckoning that I must then make before thee the Judge of Heaven and earth Ah Lord suffer me not any longer to walk after the devices of mine own deceitful evil heart but grant O God
wounded heart give life to the dead heart give the grace of faith unto the doubting heart and of hope unto the despairing heart speak peace O Lord unto the disconsolated and afflicted heart give understanding memory sence and reason unto the distracted heart and those amongst them whom thou dost intend O Lord and hast appointed to take unto thy self let them see thine arms of love in mercy open and ready to receive them let them hear O Lord thy sweet and comfortable voyce speaking peace unto their fouls and saying Sons and Daughters be of good cheer your sins are forgiven you wash them O Lord with thy most dear and most pretious blood and sanctifie them with thy holy spirit of grace that they may appear spotless and unblameable before thee whiter then Snow purer then Wooll finer the Gold and brighter then the Sun and make them O Lord more then Conquerors and those O Lord whom thou dost intend to restore unto their former health and strength give them grace to lead new lives and to become new Creatures that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee O God our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ. Ah Lord God look with much mercy I humbly beseech thee upon all those every where that suffer for the peace of a good Conscience because they will not sin against thy truth keep them O Lord as the apple of thine eye that nothing come nigh to hurt them nor to affright them let them depend on thy mercyes fear thy judgments and lay hold on thy gratious promises give them O Lord courage and strength to fight that good fight and to run that good race that thou hast set before them that they may be alwayes willing and ready to give up their lives unto the death and then from thee O Lord they may receive the Crown of Eternal life And those O Lord that suffer for an evil Conscience because they have sinned against thy truth let them not alwayes mourn as men and women without hope but poure down O Lord in much love and mercy poure down thy holy and blessed spirit the Comforter into their hearts that may speak peace unto their souls even that peace that passeth all understanding let not the Mountains of their sins O Lord nor the Rocks of unbelief hinder thy mercyes from coming down out of Heaven into their Hearts nor their prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith but cause them O Lord to know that thou art a God pardoning all iniquities transgressions and sins yea all Blasphemyes wherewith they have blasphemed Ah Lord shew them the light of thy gratious and glorious Countenance and lead them in the way everlasting that they may never more swerve nor goe astray from thy Divine and holy Commandements Bless O Lord all that are travelling by Sea or by land and bring them to their Ports and places in safety defend them from all Pyrats and Robbers that seek to do them hurt or wrong and from all other perils and dangers pitch thy tents O Lord round about them and keep them even as thou keepest thine own And lastly O Lord I most humbly and heartily beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to pardon and forgive all mine Enemies all the world over love them O Lord that hate me bless them that curse me do good to them that seek to do me evil forget and forgive all that they have done or would have done against me change their hearts from evil unto good that they may no longer walk after the deceitfulness of their own evil hearts but may do all things for the time to come in truth and sincerity according to thine own heart O Lord God that thou mayest own them for thy own and give them hearts O Lord to forgive me whom I have wronged whether it have been in thought word or deed either unto high or low rich or poor young or old and grant O Lord that I may fear and do so no more but as thou hast been unto me a sin-pardoning God so I beseech thee be unto me a sin-preventing God that I may not as the Dog return to his Vomit nor as the Sow to her wallowing in the mire againe but that I may alwayes henceforth set thee O Lord before mine eyes and be attent unto the motions of thy holy spirit and never to forget thy exceeding boundful and mercyful dealings towards me and that love in Jesus Christ wherewith thou hast loved me and that I may remember that it is impossible for those who were once enlightned and have tasted of the Heavenly gift and were made partakers of the Holy-Ghost and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the world to come if they shall fall away to renew them again unto Repentance seeing they Crucifie to themselves the Son of God afresh and put him to open shame for if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledg of the truth there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a certain fearfull looking for of Judgment and fiery indignation which shall devour the adversaries for having Lord by thy grace and mercy escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledg of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ grant that I may not again be intangled therein and overcome and so my latter end prove worse if worse it can be then was my beginning Ah Lord God should such be my case which God forbid it would be much better for me that I had never known the way of Righteousness then after the knowledg of it to turn from thy holy Commandements delivered unto me Ah Lord God my Lord and my God in Jesus Christ thou knowest my weakness frailty and impotency that I cannot of my self as of my self think a good thought that I am prone to all evil and averse to all good to will indeed is many times present but how to perform I know not there is still O Lord God a law in my members warring against the law of my mind and leading me Captive into the law of sin Ah Lord when when O Lord when shall that time come and that blessed most blessed and glorious day dawn and appear in my heart that the root and branch of sin be totally rooted up and utterly destroyed and grace confirmed grow up more and more until I come to be a perfect man in Christ Jesus that I may still more and more hate the evil which I do and love the good which I do not and cannot do that it may be no longer I that sin but sin that dwelleth in me and that by the assistance of thy grace and holy spirit I may walk well pleasing before thee doing thy work and thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven living the life of grace here and of glory hereafter the life of the Righteous that I may dye their death Ah Lord give thy self to me that I may give my self to thee live in me
that I may live to thee own me for thine own that I may own thee for mine all give me Ah give me O Lord much grace that I may give thee much glory daily grace that I may give thee daily glory continually grace that I may give thee continually glory that I may be all thine O Lord only thine alwayes thine and ever thine and all this I most humbly and unfainedly beg of thee and what ever else thou knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for my soul and body for the name and for the worthiness of Jesus Christ thy Son and my Saviour to whom with thy Glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace do I render and give with my whole heart as all due is and unto none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now henceforth and for euermore Amen Amen 34. If the love of Creatures be so lovely unto us and we esteem and love them most for their love and this their love doth many times sweetly satisfie and ravish our senses But how then are our hearts set on fire with Love when we have within us the fiery hot burning Love of a Loving God yea of a God of Love whose Love is so lovely as it knits our hearts in Love unto him and our greatest Love unto him is from his own Love because he hath so loved us as to give us hearts to love him even according to his own heart 35. If our Joy be according to the measure of Love which we enjoy from the Creature whom we most love Ah how great yea incomprehensibly great shall our joy be when we shall know and feel that we are beloved above measure by the Creator who maketh the Creature thus lovely and giveth him Love thus to love him 36. If our Love many times be so great unto the Creature for the Creature that we do not and it seems to us that we cannot love him so much as we would and do desire to do and we crave and desire chiefly his Love that we may yet love him more and this from and because we love him so much and for that our senses can be only satisfied with his Love and by loving of him for we love him most for his Love and his Love doth cause us to love him more whom we love so much yea whom we love most 37. But Ah how great then yea how wonderfully great is the love O Lord of thy Children and Servants unto thee when they know that they are beloved by thee whom they most love and must love most for thy Love thy Love being most worth worth most and therefore do they despise all Love and things lovely in the Creature to purchase thy Love O God who art the Creator of all Love and things lovely they love thy Love most O God because they know and feel that thy Love only causeth them to love thee more whom notwithstanding they do already love most and for that nothing but thy Love can satisfie them with sufficient love to love thee sufficiently for to love thee is to live and they could not live if it were not for thy Love and therefore are they ready and willing alwaies to die for thy Love and to witnesse and shew forth their love with which they love thee 38. If then the love of the Creature be so great for the Creator that it is more above and beyond my love in the Creature for the Creature yea it is so great as it cannot be uttered it being and proceeding from the Creators own Love that the Creature hath this love and that he loveth thus his Creator 39. But Ah then how incomprehensible and great is the love of the Creator for and unto us his Creatures in that he giveth us so much of his love as to love him and such condescention is in him as he delighteth to be beloved by them who out of his love do so much hate him and love only what he hateth alas alas what can we poor we say of him whom we know not but by himself and from himself and love not but from his love Let us then Ah let us then admire and in humility ever adore this his love with which he hath so loved us as to make us like himself in love which is to be all love loving others as our selves for even as his love only causeth him to love us so likewise doth this his love in us cause us thus to love him and thus to love one another with the same loving love and all that we may be all one and the same in love in him to him and for him who is the love of our love the cause of our loves love the subject of our love the object of our love which we only desire to love and the joy of this our joyous love and the aime of our end and the end of our aime is to live and love unto the end in this loving love that is that our love may never know end as his never knew no beginning nor never shall know end and this is and such is the great love of our God yea the incomprehensible love with which he loveth us being such and so great as we cannot comprehend it's greatnesse it cannot enter into us therefore we shall enter into it neither can we sufficiently expresse ours for him which flows only from his from himself who is only and alone in himself perfect love and he alone can only create and give perfect love to love perfectly none but himself from himself of himself can then thus love perfectly or give perfect love to love perfectly thus 40. It is then thy love in me O Lord my God that causeth me to love thee 41. Inflame then my cold benum'd icy frozen heart with the fiery hot burning flames of this thy burning hot love O my God that my heart may continually as Moses bush and the Seraphims still flamingly burn but never consume for it is by this and from this divine fire that cometh from thy holy Altar O Lord that my soul liveth and out of it it cannot 42. Let me then O Lord ever burn That I may ever live for why Ah if I should not still burn thus I am sure I should eft soon dye 43. Ah Lord my God and my Father in Jesus Christ I desire to praise thee ever for that thou hast not only forgiven me all but given me all thou hast not only given me a pardon for all my Iniquities and transgressions and forgiven all my sins but hast also forgotten that ever I sinned 44. Thou hast not only given me such a pardon as never to remember my sins any more but with the pardon thou hast O Lord given me thy love and thy self so as I shall ever live in thy self to love thy self ever and to offend thee never 45. Thy love O my God and heavenly Father is far greater unto me than David's was for his
promises which thou hast been pleased from time to time to make unto me that I may live and living dye that I may dye and dying ever live to the praise honour and glory of thine ever blessed Eternal most holy and most great most sacred and most glorious name so be it Lord so be it 97. Heaven is Heaven because it is holy yea because O Lord God thou art there that art holiness therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy yea such a holy and therefore blessed Heaven as it is so as to those that are there a thousand years seem but as one day so greatly sweet is its enjoyment and one day seems as a thousand years so great is their joy in its enjoyment and holiness is the chief joy felicity and happiness in Heaven because it makes them all like unto thy self O all Heavenly God who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven being the holiness of Heaven and therefore Heavens chief joy felicity and happiness 98. If earths sweets are so sweet to earthly hearts as they desire nothing but earth that is the things on earth Ah how sweet then are Heavens sweets to a Heavenly heart and how shall Ah how shall Heaven ravish their hearts with joy and contentment when that their hearts souls and bodyes shall be in Heaven and all filled with Heaven that is with all holiness and blessedness even with God himself the ever blessed and holy God then shall they be all holy all Heavenly yea all a holy Heaven being holy as God is holy but not so holy 99. If earth then or earthly things on earth be able to satisfie any on earth surely Heaven and the things in Heaven shall be able and will satisfie all in Heaven for that all there shall enjoy all that is there even all God Father Son and Holy Ghost who is all and in all 100. And therefore by how much God is above all things and more worth then all things by so much yea so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for having him sure I have all things sure I am sure 101. Ah when I enjoy that true joy of enjoying that true Communion with the true God though here on earth me thinks I am not on earth but in Heaven and yet I know all this is but an earthly Heaven though a Heaven 102. But how then Ah how then doth my heart rejoyce with joy unspeakable knowing that the time will come and is ever near at hand when I shall ever enjoy Heavens true joys which is God himself the joy of all joys yea all joys that are true 103. O Lord thou knowest that the Heaven which my soul desireth on earth is to do thy whole holy and blessed will on earth as it is done in Heaven 104. I desire to live O God and give my heart unto thee That hast in love and mercy given thine own unto me 105. Ah Lord my God let me so hear thy blessed most blessed voyce that my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee is to live yea to live in thee and for thee which to do is the desire I have to live 106. Give me then power O God that hast all power in thy self that I may fight powerfully against all my powerful Enemyes and by the power of thy might which is an Almighty power I may tread and trample all their powers under my feet 107. Give me O Lord give me such fear as may cause me to love thee and such love as to fear thee and to cast out all fear 108. Meditation is the heart of the heart the soul of the soul which is the strength and life of all devotion 109. When in meditation God hath spoken peace unto thy soul. Ah then do thou by thanksgiving with thy heart praise Laud and him extol 110. He that will have Heaven on earth must meditate on earth of Heaven 111. To have God abide with us we must by meditation abide with him 112. To have God live in us we must with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life live to him 113. To have God dwell in us we must open our affections which is the dore of our hearts to let him into our hearts and continually feast him with true and unfaigned love loving none but him in comparison of him 114. To have God love us we must love him that is make him our choyce above and beyond all other things choosing him for our chief and superiour good that is beyond above and more then all other things he must have all our hearts that is our hearts more than all other things 115. To have God delight in us our delight end and aime must be to delight him that is by walking well pleasing unto him all the dayes of our whole lives as Christ did yesterday to day and for ever 116. To have God direct us how we shall walk we must be careful and heedful to walk as he doth and shall direct us 117. To have God preserve us we must believe in him trust on him depend and rowle our selves upon him 118. To have God maintaine us we must cast all our care upon him for the earth is his and the fulness thereof 119. To have God sustaine us and be our help we must hope only in him for he will faile us never and not put any trust in Princes or in the Sons of men for in them there is no help their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish 120. To have God be all ours we must be all his that is in thought word and deed and not think our own thoughts or speak our own words nor do our own works but do all to the praise of his holy holy holy name 121. He that would live with the Lord in Heaven must live to the Lord on earth 122. He that would have the Lord to be his Lord and his God must serve honour and obey him as his Lord and fear worship and adore him as his God 123. He that would Raign with the Lord Christ in Heaven must be contented to be arraigned for him as he was for us on earth 124. He that would sit with him there in glory above must be content to sit with him that is as he did in contempt here below 125. He that would rejoyce with him there must be contented to sigh and grieve and weep and mourn as he did here 126. He that would have all things with him there must be content if he will so have it to have as he had nothing here 127. He that would be received by God his Father there as by his Father must do his will as Christ did here that is as his Son 128. He that would wear an incorruptible Crown of glory for ever there must be content if he will so have it to wear a Crown of Thorns his ever here 129. He that
would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinful bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judg to acquit him there must judge and condemne himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christs flock and be of his fold and of his sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to die their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness alwayes dwell within me that Heaven may be alwayes within me and that I may be alwayes in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven in me 143. And seeing that the more holy we are the more heavenly we are and the more like unto thee O most heavenly and most holy Lord God that is throughout holy in Spirit Soul and Body grant that though I am here below on earth and earth I may in holinesse be like unto thee above who art in Heaven and art Heaven 144. Ah Lord God that hast fitted and prepared Heaven for me prepare me for it that I may enjoy thee all who art my all and my only Joy 145. And seeing none shall enjoy thee in Heaven but those that enjoy thee on Earth Ah Lord let me so enjoy thee here that I may long to be dissolved for ever to enjoy thee there yet not for mine own sake only but for thine own sake good Lord. 146. Ah Lord let my joy be so full of thee here on Earth as I may alwaies long to be filled with thy fulnesse of joy in Heaven and to enjoy fully those pleasures that are there at thy right hand and shall endure for ever more 147. Yet O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to make me still patient to wait untill my blessed change shall come and that I may alwaies say thine O Lord thine and not my will be done 148. Ah come Lord Jesus come when thou wilt and as thou wilt either at midnight or at the Cock crowing for though I do long for thy coming to take me hence unto thy self yet I would rather O Lord thou knowest that I had rather abide here to do thy will and for thy sake on earth then to leave thy will undone and to be in Heaven for my one sake 149. Ah Lord my Lord and my God I confesse that thou hast in the abundance of thy goodnesse love and mercy done so much for me in bringing me out of Hell and assuring me of Heaven that even all that I can imagine to do to lose or to suffer is so little so too too little as I could wish yea and do wish that I could do more and suffer more to witnesse that my little will is great or desires and would be great willingly 150. Ah Lord I know and am well assured that thy goodnesse is so great and thy greatnesse so good for the sake of my soul that my soul longeth to be great in goodnesse to do great good things for thy great goodnesse sake 151. Ah Lord God seeing what thou hast done for me is to assure me of thine Eternal Love and Mercy in Jesus Christ give me I beseech thee grace that I may not turn thy gifts of grace into wantonnesse but for this thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me grant that it may be a strong and firm obligation unto me to depend upon thy Love and to be assured that thou wilt continue to do as thou hast begun that is continually continue to love me 152. For seeing none but thy self O Lord could do the things that thou hast done that is to love me such a lovelesse yea vile wretch as I am in my self I will therefore be bold to say surely the Lord will ever love me because he doth thus love me and hath ever loved me thus 153. Ah suffer me not then O Lord God holy just and true to depart from thee by setting up any other God in my heart or my heart to love choose or esteem any other good than thy self who art only good all good and able only to do me all good and to make me to do all good 154. Ah Lord God in thine own good time accomplish and finish the good which thou hast begun to work in me by causing me to depart from all evil 155. And suffer me not I humbly beseech thee for thine own great holy and dear name sake to go astray from those holy holy holy waies which thou hast set before me and written with the finger of thine own Spirit on my heart 156. But grant O Lord that my Soul may continually be ravisht with the pleasantnesse of them and to delight to sit alwaies under the shadow of thy branches for thou knowest O Lord thou right wel knowest how sweet and delightful the fruit of thy Word and the knowledge of thy waies is to the tast of my Soul 157. And therefore and to praise thee doth my Soul long to come into thy house to behold thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary and to hide my self under the shadow of thy wings that no evil may come nigh me to hurt me 158. Ah Lord thou that hast wrought in me holy desires to do thy whole and holy will give me grace to teach and instruct others and to tell them how willing thou art to teach all sinners to come out of their sins and to direct them how to walk wel pleasing
against him God so delighteth in him that all that he doth and doth not delighteth him because he knoweth the thoughts of his heart and desires of his Soul towards him and for him therefore he esteemeth taketh and accepteth of what he would do as if he did what he should do 180. He that hath the Spirit of God in him is made holy he sinneth no more he is sanctified throughout in Spirit Soul and body his heart will and affections serve the Lord alwaies though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin yet with his mind he serves the Law of God he hateth all the evil which he doth and loveth all the good which he doth not so as sin yea all sin is become unto him so exceeding sinful as he would not sin either in thought word or deed to have grace abound in him no nor glory neither it is no longer therefore he that sinneth but sin that dwelleth in him for he hateth all sin with a perfect hatred and he so loveth holinesse and righteousnesse as he longeth after it he seeketh for it as for silver and searcheth for it as for hid treasures it is become his whole and only end and aime he hath no other ambition he coveteth nothing else he desireth much grace that he may give God much glory daily grace that he may give him daily glory continually grace that he may give him continually glory 181. He that hath this Spirit of God in him is led in the wayes of all truth and holinesse which is everlasting life and happinesse and he hath overcome the World and that wicked one he is departed from all iniquity in thought word and deed he hath crucified the world with all its lusts and affections and the world is crucified unto him he seeketh no longer to please the flesh by satisfying the lusts and affections thereof he serveth not God for the loaves only but he seeketh more after Heaven for God than God for Heaven for to honour obey please and serve him is Heaven to him 182. This Spirit helpeth his infirmities teacheth him Heavenly Wisdome so as to know what the mind and will of God is and to discern the great mysteries of his salvation and to know God in the spirit 183. This spirit assureth him of his Eternal Election being the Divine and Eternal purpose of God by Jesus Christ we have an access by one spirit unto the Father 184. This spirit witnesseth unto him that hath it his effectual Calling his Adoption Justification Sanctification and Glorification and makes him to cry Abba-Father and to come boldly unto his glorious Throne of grace and gratious Throne of glory and to say with Thomas my Lord and my God and with Paul I know whom I have believed and whom I love and therefore saith boldly as Peter Lord thou knowest that I love thee 185. This spirit of God leads him by the hand and directs him how he shall walk and tells him what he shall do and suffers him not to goe aside either to the right hand or to the left of honours riches or pleasures it makes him to esteem all these things below as earthly low things even as nothing for the whole world is much too little for him is not enough to satisfie please or content him for he looks on its all even as nothing at all as durt dung and dross he is content in all estates and conditions for he knows both how to want and how to abound and with St. Paul to say as sorrowful yet alwayes rejoycing as poor yet making many rich as having nothing yet possessing all things for Christ is his exceeding gain his Heavenly riches his true treasure he hath now learnt to know Christ and him Crucified and therefore rejoyceth only in the Cross of Christ and saith I have none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Christ is now only his all and his all to him to live is Christ he mindeth none but Christ nor nothing but Christ and what he hath done for him he so loveth and delighteth in him as he is become all his talk all day long and his meditations and songs in the night if he sleeps yet he talks with him so that sleeping as well as waking he desires to have him in his thoughts and never to have his thoughts off from him and his sleep he accounts not sweet if he have had no Conversation with him by Communication and as soon as he is awake he is before his eyes and he presently recollects and recounts his mercyes and delighteth in that he oweth him more and more for though he oweth him so much yet he longs to owe him as much more and though he cannot pay him any thing yet he is not ashamed every moment to ask him all things and nothing less then all things which is himself will content him and though he have his word and promise for it yet he will have his seal also and when he hath both sign and seal yet he must have it daily yea Hourly yea as it were every moment if he could and though he accounts that he hath nothing so sure yet he would alwayes have him assure him of it not that he doubts at all of his word or promise but that he might alwayes bear in mind this his sweet and gratious promise to sweeten all other sowers of afflictions and temptations and to imbitter all other worldly and fleshly sweets he is so wedded unto him as he is never at rest nor ease if he do not alwayes behold him if he do not alwayes smile upon him if he do not still speak peace unto him if he do not in all places cause the light of his blessed Countenance to shine upon him he is so in love with him and so loveth him as if he could he would willingly think of no other speak of no other nor act for no other he would most willingly spend his all and be all spent for him follow him wheresoever he goeth though it were to be banisht imprisoned and made the poorest vilest and contemptiblest of men yea though it should bring sickness and death he is much grieved for that he hath so little to loose for him he accounts his life and all not any thing at all not worth the offering unto such a God as he is that hath done so much as he hath done for him Ah when he afresh considers hereof how afresh doth his grief and sorrow begin and most because he cannot grieve and sorrow as he would he is so wounded afresh with his new old love or his old new love as now he finds nothing lovely in himself to witness his love unto him he cannot do for him the half that he would do and Ah how is he troubled that he doth and is able to do so little for him that he loveth so much Ah how willing is he and how willingly would he do his whole and
which the wind driveth too and fro as he was made of nothing so in a moment he turns to nothing their breath goeth forth they rerurn to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish he is as the grass of the earth and as the flower of the field which to day is and to morrow is not he is so perishable as he can be compared to nothing but to nothing 194. This Spirit sheweth us that those things which we see not and cannot see be unto us as if they were and these things which we see are as if they were not because we value them not but as Pilgrims and strangers we seek a Country an Habitation not made with hands Eternal in the Heavens 195. This Spirit openeth unto our sence reason and understanding that which no man can shut and shutteth that which no man can open this spirit declareth unto us what the mind and will of God is for our good and worketh in us a holy conformity in all our minds wills and affections to be carefully studious and studiously careful to walk in all well pleasing before him it maketh us to press forward to comprehend that for which we are also comprehended of Christ Jesus our Lord it worketh in us a fear that increaseth our love and such love as casteth out all fear it maketh us to do all that we do for him and not for our selves loving him much more for himself than for our own selves and more for his glory then for our own glory if such long to be with him it is to do him more and better service for here we can know but in part and do but in part but there we shall know him as he is to be known and do for him all things which were fore-ordained and appoynted by him before that we were and that is to possesse him wholly and holy as he is that is as much as is possible for us Creatures 196. This Spirit warmeth our hearts so with his divine Love and maketh us partakers of his divine nature that daily we grow more and more conformable and like unto him and to comprehend and know more and more what is the length the bredth the heighth of the depth of his love to his children and servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor expresse and it so filleth their hearts with such Joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegrome arrayeth us with even his own Righteousnesse and true holinesse this filleth our Lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voyce come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his sons and daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that pleaseth him pleaseth them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to blesse and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come unto Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is allwaies open for sin and for uncleannesse this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the losse of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousnesse wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully cheerfully and patiently all that is commanded them alwaies saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy servant heareth and with David my heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptable as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my soul desireth to have on Earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Hallelujahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberlesse number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who
all things is to have Jesus Christ for our Jesus and for our Christ get him Oh get him and I am sure thou wilt hereunto set thy seal 318. Wilt thou live happy live to him and for him only 319. Wilt thou dye willingly dye first to sin 320. Wilt thou live eternally live so then here as as Christ thy head and thy husband lived when he was in the flesh doing alwaies the will of God his heavenly Father 321. Wilt thou alwaies be comforted and rejoyce make thy peace with thy God and labour to maintain it 322. For fear or favour to gain or lose what thou hast or maiest hope to have have a special care and resolve that thou consent not unto connive at or love the least or sweetest sin 323. And if unhappily at any time thou dost fall lie not Ah beware thou lie not willingly in it but rise quickly and come out of it by true sincere unfained repentance and wash and bathe thy self in tears of sorrow grief and lamentation but still hope and trust in the Lord for he will fail thee never In Bourdeaux Ann. 1657. 1. ALL they that live holily live in God and God that is all holinesse lives in them they dwell in him and he in them as sin is Hell is Devil is both torment and tormentor so holinesse is Heaven is God is both Comfort and Comforter 2. All that is good is from God who is all good only good ever was and ever shall be all goodnesse is from his goodnesse yea from his overflowing fulnesse of goodnesse they are thus filled with all good 3. And as light brings out of darknesse dispels it vanquisheth and overcomes it so Gods Love which is holinesse delivers us from all sin dispels conquers and overcomes it brings us Ah brings us for ever out of this Hell sin into this Heaven holinesse or Heavenly holinesse 4. Love from God is made perfect that is sincere and this Love casteth out and overcomes all fear causeth true filial fear which flows from true sincere Love yea from this Love which is from Gods fear or the fear of God which is his Love 5. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake never to take thy holy spirit from me who is my light my life my joy my rejoycing my strength my hope my faith my confidence and my assured assurance 6. Thou teachest me O Lord all that I know and thou knowest well that I desire to know nothing but that and what thou wilt and dost intend to teach me 7. For to know any other things yea to know all other things is even to know nothing to this one thing of knowing thee and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent to know him not only to be a Jesus and a Christ but our Christ and our Jesus in the Mistery not in the History in the Spirit not in the letter nor from notions but from motions living walking raygning ruling overcoming bringing under making subject willingly cheerfully constantly continually throughly seriously faithfully ardently gladly and preservingly at all times and in all places and things 8. Ah how great a folly yea what greater folly is there then the wisdome of men and to learn only that which man can teach 9. What Ah what are all his words but meet words froth scum a scummy froth that is as soon dead as born short lived quickly made and quickly unmade and its making is its destruction it grow and withers together in growing it is even as its maker and it shews its maker man to be like it that is a windy puff as the puff of the wind man nothing man but vanity which is in it self worse then if it were not then if it were nothing 10. Mins greatness power strength honour beauty wisdome prudence policy what is it but as himself a vanishing vapour having nothing certaine but that all he hath is uncertaine what ever he hath to day of riches honours or pleasures to morrow all may say him nay and take themselves wings and flye away and he himself as the rich glutton goe where he shall ever stay and ever weep and waile this his very day the day that ever these or this was his 11. Ah how much nothing then is all things out of him that is all things even our God the God and giver of all things 12. Yet Lord I am content and willing to not to be any thing yea to be any thing for thy sake 13. O my soul I charge thee henceforth never to be afraid to loose what thou hast committed and given unto the Lord to keep for thee fear not then neither to loose any thing that he hath given thee and keeps for thee which is thy faith thy fear thy love thy joy thy hope thy peace thy comfort and thine assurance 14. Fear not to loose thy confidence obedience nor perseverance for he that hath given thee this thine all will so preserve and keep thee that thou shalt never fall 15. Speaking without feeling is even as dry bones that have no tast relish nor moisture that cannot nourish nor do not any whit satisfie or please the spiritual appetite 16. Me thinks to speak not what a man feels or not to feel what he speaks is as if he did not speak at all nay me thinks he should not speak it for it is words only only meer words true we shall be judged and condemned too for words but sure I am it must be works not words shall justifie us by faith we are saved now faith without works is dead 't is not the knowing Servants but the doing ones that shall receive the recompence of reward and enter into the joy of their Lord and ever possess the Lord of their joy knowers and not doers shall be beaten with many stripes blessed are they that have seen and have believed but more blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed 17. The just shall live by faith not the faith of words to say only I believe in the Son of God in Jesus Christ whom he hath sent but of works to shew that he did believe be doing the works were Commanded him to do which is to fear God and keep his Commandements 18. But to feel what a man speaks and to speak that only which he feels is not words only but works also yea the work of Gods spirit for its the spirits work thus to work to work his will and his work on our hearts and to cause us to feel that is to know that he works for us and in us and will never leave thus working till he hath wrought out our Salvation that is till he hath sanctified us throughout in spirit soul and body and prepared and fitted us for Heaven as Heaven is fitted and prepared for us 19. Ah how great a folly is it to prise any other wisdome or to account any other things wisdome then this one thing feelingly to
us which would bring us more joy joy us more then our hearts are able to hold then we are any of us able to think or to conceive 33. O Lord thou knowest that I would not have all that I would have but the heart of my desires yea the desires of my heart are to have only only to have that which is in thy heart to have me to have 34. Let O Lord I humbly beseech thee my thoughts heart and affections be alwayes loaden with the loaves of thy love 35. Let my soul alwayes be resatiated with thy love and kindnesse even with thy loving kindnesse O Lord. 36. O God in Jesus Christ let thy former mercyes alwayes glad my heart when it shall either droop or faint I most humbly beseech thee 37. Let me not Ah let me not wander from thee nor thy precepts O Lord who keepest this close unto me 38. Let thy Commandements be as a Chaine of Gold about my neck and as Bracelets of Pearls on my arms 39. Let O Lord God thy whole law which is holy be written on my heart with the singer of thy holy and blessed spirit and grant through thy grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ that I may never depart from them but alwayes and ever delight in them much more then on my daily food which thou hast appointed and ordained to feed this temporal life 40. Let thy word O God be as yea be the hony comb to the spiritual tast of my soul and resatiate and solace it as with marrow and fatness and comfort and glad it as wine on the lees yea as wine well refined on the Lees. 41. Ah Lord God cause my soul alwayes feelingly and rejoycingly to say I have none in Heaven but thee nor on all the earth in comparison of thee my Jesus and my Christ and let the Corne Wine and Oyle which are the riches honours and pleasures of the world be as durt dung and dross in comparison of it 42. Ah Lord God what is man sinful man wretched blind despicable poor man that thou art thus mindful of him and the Son of man that thou should'st thus regard him delight in him and set thy heart upon him to do him good yea to do him all the good that is in thy heart and to make him that is his heart according to thine own heart 43. Ah wonder of Wonders that such a God should thus condescend to love such a man nothing man man that is nothing but evil all evil yea and continually all evil for there is none good but thee O God O none no not one 44. Bow down O Lord bow down my heart unto the obedience of thy Laws and lift it up to rejoyce in the obedience of thy Commandments to keep them and do them for in the keeping of them there is life yea eternal and everlasting life 45. Banish O Lord I most humbly and earnestly beseech thee out of my heart and thoughts the love and the liking unto any other Love besides thee and thy Love 46. And grant that with the heart of my heart I may serve thee in truth of heart unfainedly all the daies and moments of my life that I may long after no other thing and that thy fear may be my daily food 47. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee to give out thy self unto me that I may give up my self unto thee 48. Give O Lord give thy self unto me that I may for ever give my self to thee to live ever to thee and for thee as I desire ever to live in thee and with thee 49. Thou knowest O Lord my God that I desire not what I do desire unlesse it be conformable to thy desires so that my desires are not mine but thine not mine own but thine own yea thine all all thine 50. I would not have O Lord God thou knowest right well what I would have but what I should that what thou wilt have me to have what thou hast appointed me to have Ah let me have that only that all all that 51. I know that all that thou givest us whether graces or gifts thou wilt have an account of we shall account with thee for 52. Ah let me no longer nor no more have this woe and grief of heart to have received much and done little and to ask much for my self but to do little Ah little for thee 53. Suffer me not O Lord never to think or do that in secret which I would not which I should not do openly and let me O Lord Ah let me much more fear thine all seeing eies than all the seeing eies of Angels and men 54. How we are to desire and believe that we receive the Lord in the Sacrament of his blessed Supper and the assurance thereof to our Souls to comfort glad and rejoyce them 55. Ah Lord God as for me as for me Ah Lord God the food my Soul desireth at thy Table and Supper that which resatiateth feedeth fileth and refresheth it is the sweet breath and most divine and delitious breathings of thy divine and most holy Spirit into my heart and soul and all the affections and faculties thereof to warm and heat them to ascertain and assure my heart of thy Love and living in it which thou dost O Lord by sanctifying it the will the mind the memory the desires and all the affections and faculties thereof and by making it and them more not only to desire but to perceive see feel and certainly to know its growth and growing more and more in conformity and likenesse to thee O God in Christ by loving delighting choosing imbraceing and rejoyciâ—g in thy Laws waies word will and Commandments I do not blessed O Lord be thy name as do the Papists suppose or believe that I eat thy flesh and drink thy blood as thou wert when thou wert here on Earth in the flesh on the Crosse for I know that the Spirit must be fed with spiritual food spiritually the food of the body cannot resatiate or satisfie the Soul and that Soul that hath thus tasted and fed on thee Spiritually will assuredly hunger for this blessed heavenly food of thy holy heavenly blessed most blessed Spirit even for the breathings of this thy Spirit for the joyes and ravishments which they enjoy that enjoy and are filled with this this Spirit for the peace tranquility serenity and comfort of thy Spirit for the life and living of thy Spirit to please delight fill full satisfie and resatiate the appetite of the Soul even as the body hungreth and desireth rejoyceth and delighteth in food to please its fleshly appetite what if we could or did O Lord eat thy very body and blood that would not fill or feed our Souls which are not fed with meat and drink corporally but spiritually and what matters it O Lord as for me I care not what I eat or drink as to the outward man so I may eat and drink by faith in the Spirit and
my inward man may be filled with the Spirit whether the body live or dye as for the bodies sake I care not though the body be hunger starved it shall for sure I am it will be well content if the Spirit be thus fed and filled with the presence breathings and Communion of thy Spirit t is not Ah Lord t is not thou well knowest the Quails and Mannah from Heaven nor thy body and blood corporally but spiritually that my Soul longeth for and my heart desireth aud panteth after so that it even fainteth for lack of it Ah give me that or else I dye I dye indeed corporally spiritually and eternally from which deaths O Lord by thine own death I trust I hope I believe and am confidently assured that thou hast delivered me and wilt deliver me by giving me this Heavenly food of thy holy Spirit to live in thee for thee and to thee here by grace and hereafter in glory this is my belief O Lord increase my Faith strengthen it and comfort it more and more by thine own Spirits living raigning and ruling in my heart by causing it willingly cheerfully and perseveringly to walk in thy waies doing thy will with sincerity integrity and uprightnesse in thought word and deed both towards thee and towards all men for ever and for ever 56. He that maketh wagers usually coveteth if not alwaies therefore surely its best to forbear 57. Ah Lord keep me from coveting any other thing than thy self and thy holy and blessed Spirit to teach me lead me direct me guide and govern me my heart and affections to walk in all thy holy waies and to keep all thy Commandments all my daies 58. For worldly covetings after the things of this World keep our thoughts hearts memories and affections from seeking with coveting desires the things of Heaven or Heavenly things 59. Let me covet thee O Lord ever ever But all things or any thing out of thee never 60. Let my Love be to love thee my delight to delight thee my care O Lord let it be to please thee my groanings to go after thee in thy wayes and let all my joyes be to rejoyce in thee and thy praise and to praise thee O Lord my Lord alalwies 61. Ah suffer me not in other to spend my daies But thus uprightly to walk in all thy waies 62. Covetings for the World makes the affections of the heart to affect the World but covetings for and after Heaven makes the heart and all the affections thereof to affect Heaven and the things in Heaven with a heavenly heart 63. Covetings for the World makes the heart earthly but covetings for Heaven makes the heart heavenly 64. Covetings after God makes the heart God-like according to his heart Covetings after any thing out of God or besides God makes the heart ungodly that is ungodlike and contrary to his heart 65. Couetings after the flesh makes the heart fleshly or a heart in the flesh Covetings after the Spirit makes the heart spiritual yea a heart living in Gods Spirit 66. I suppose that if a man love at times unlawfully lusting after strange flesh only with the flesh that is desires and would their Loves with the flesh but not with the will and mind which is the heart though the flesh saith yea and yields if the Spirit faith nay and yields not and doth much more ardently and vehemently desire and would not their Loves then the flesh doth and would their Loves and the Spirit that is their inward man would much rather have the hatred than their loves and hath sincere hatred and dislike to this Love by the flesh faithfully truly ardently and continually It is not he that sins but sin that dwelleth in him for though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin please the flesh yet he hates detests and abhors the evil which he doth and with his mind he serves the Law of God Gods Law is written in his heart and remains engraven still in the inner man on all his affections 67. As to me I willingly most willingly would if it might be love none but my God alone 68. True Lord true it is the outward man that is the flesh desireth and delighteth in the things of the flesh because it is fleshly as the inner man the heart of the soul and the soul of the heart and all the faculties thereof delighteth and rejoyceth in the things of the Spirit because it is spiritual 69. I have no Heaven here Lord because my Heaven is in thee And yet I have a Heaven Lord here because thou that art Heaven art here and in me 70. Above all keepings keep O Lord O Lord keep my heart my poor heart from sin from choosing delighting approving countenancing or maintaining sin 71. But this is not all no Lord no thou knowest it s to be thy servant to work thy work to do thy will not for my self as for thy self not for my praise applause or honour but for thine for I could not be satisfied though I had all I would have unlesse I do all that for which thou hast created me and appointed me to do 72. 'T is not Ah 't is not the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World the honours riches and pleasures thereof 't is not the honey of Earth but heavens honey that my Soul desireth to tast and ever to feed upon 73. If I had and were ever sure to have all the satisfaction that ever Creature had and I had thee not O my God for my Portion as I firmly believe I have I should and would account my self of all men on Earth the most miserablest 74. I would not give the part and Portion that I have at present in my God for all this Worlds good for all its honours riches and pleasures 75. Ah Lord how much nothing doth all things seem to be when compared to thee 76. Faith hope and Love in thee and for thee O Lord is more worth than all things else that can be given that is not of thee 77. Who is able or can expresse the satisfactions of that Soul unto whom thou hast given Love cordial faithful sincere and persevering Love to love thee 78. Ah how sweet a thing is it to serve the Lord Ah how pleasant and delightsome to walk alwaies in all his wayes and to do all his will willingly 79. Ah Lord my only grief and trouble is because I keep not thy Laws and for that I have not regard to thy Commandments as I would 80. Ah that I were even as a barren wildernesse to bear no fruit for my self and as a dry Spring to give no refreshment to my self to my own self that is my flesh Ah that I were as it were livelesse and lovelesse to my self â—hat I might only live to love and adore thee my God my God 81. What is my life or my self if it be not spent for thee and what are all my daies if I walk not only and
lusts and affections cost thou find all evil inclinations mortified have they all received a deadly wound do they all stink in thy Nostrils as they do in Gods and are they all loathsome unto thee as they are unto him and detested by thee with thy whole heart as by God that is in truth and sincerity of heart and as well and as much secret airy vaine foolish thoughts that disturb thy peace and thy Communion with God as open sins so that Gods nature divine Image and resemblance is most of all dear pretious and delightful unto thee and thou labourest with tooth and naile to preserve it with a continual heedful watchful careful care so that to do good is habitual in thee yea as it were natural it is all thy delight joy rejoycing end and ayme dost thou hartily hare all the former evil that was in thy heart loathing detesting and abhorring the sins of thy life heretofore thy heretofore sins are all their sweets become to thy tast bitter as gall and wormwood are all their pleasures altogether unsavory unpleasant and so loathsome as thy very heart riseth aganist them and loatheth the very thoughts of them do they appear unto thee all both the great and the small in their own black colours filthy and ugly hue is there no one lull'd in thy bosome hugg'd in thine arms imbraced in thine heart pleasant in thine eye sweet to thy tast or winkt or connived at as a small one or but as one as a dear one even near and dear as a right eye or a right hand but are they all both great and small known or unknown secret as well as open like unto thee exceeding yea above measure loathsome and sinful dost thou watch against them alwayes and not suffer any one when he peeps in to come in dost thou flye from them all as thou would'st do from the Devil from Hell and from the greatest of Gods Judgments and Eternal wrath are they to thee as a Hell yea as the worst of Hell in Hell dost thou feel the burthen of but one sin though not committed altogether willingly or with delight to be heavier then the whole earth and had'st rather have all the Rocks and Mountains in the whole world to fall on thee to lye upon thee then one willing sin committed to lye upon thee and is sin thus hated loathed detested and abhorred by thee because it is sin because it is a breach of Gods holy Laws and divine Commandments which are altogether all holy just and good because they disturb thy peace and thy communion with God and are contrary to thy nature in truth as to Gods nature and because they make thee to lose thine image and likeness of God and Christ and converse with the Spirit of grace who is thy sole and souls comfort and comforter and for that they make thee vile in Gods eyes and disobedient unto him for whom thou art and wert created and for whom and unto whom thou desirest to live to love to fear to honour and to obey for ever and for ever 93. Art thou conformable to Christ thy head thy husband thy Lord and thy King Doth he wholly reign and rule in thy heart with consent applause delight joy and rejoycing and in and over all the faculties of thy soul and members of thy body Art thou holy as he is holy pure as he is pure and perfect as he is perfect that is sincere in truth truly sincere in all thy actions and affections Art thou within as thou seemest to be without and dost thou labour much more to be approved applauded esteemed and honoured by God and in his sight than by men and in their sight Dost thou stick only to him cleave to him and hold him fast with true faithful sincere ardent continual and loving embraces and choosest him only for thy choice for thy chief Superiour best and soveraign good for thy heaven for thy happiness and for thy felicity peace rest and blessedness Is there nothing in heaven so dear and pretious unto thee as is thy God thy Christ nor in all the earth in comparison of him Dost thou much more love heaven for God than God for heaven 94. Is Jesus Christ become to thee so great gain as for his sake thou carest not what loss thou dost fustain Temporal or Spiritual so that thou maiest live the life of the righteous to his praise honour and glory Thou carest not what be thy condition nor where thy place of abode be nor with whom nor what be thy life nor what thy death be though poor hunger-starved full of scabs botches and sores from the crown of the head to the sole of the foot like unto Job or Lazarus so as there be no whole place in thee and though thou shouldst be as they were defamed vilified condemned cast out scoffed at mocked lie in the dust on a dunghill be fed with the dogs yea refused what is given them even the very Crums that fall under other mens Tables yea though thou shouldst be banished imprisoned persecuted scourged whipped tormented rackt torn by wild horses consumed by fire or drown'd in the depth of the sea 95. Canst thou choose any of all these yea all these and all other afflictions whatsoever willingly chearfully and joyfully for Christs sake and the Gospels rather than deny thy faith thy hope thy love rather than commit any sin rather than do the least evil with consent approbation liking or choice Is Christ better to thee than all things Canst thou truly cordially and sincerely say that thou hast nothing so dear and near to thee as Christs Honour Crown and Glory is And whatever be thy Portion here below of these high low things thou canst willingly with all thy heart and will go from them all or be content that all things be taken from thee Houses Lands Goods Kindred Friends Father Mother Wife Children and what else desiring much rather by much to hold fast thine integrity with the loss of all these then hold fast these and lose thy love thy light thy life which is thy Jusus 96. Wouldst thou mnch rather choose affliction any affliction yea all afflictions Temporal and Spiritual on body and soul as the children of God rather than commit the pleasures of sin for a season rather than in the least displease thy Christ thy Jesus thy God thy good thy Saviour and thy Redeemer for a moment much rather by much suffer the afflictions due to sin then sin and suffer no affliction for surely a Saints greatest affliction is sin sin is the very worst of hell to him that makes God his best heaven the heaven of heaven in heaven 97. Dost thou feel thy heart heartily to long for the knowledge of God and all his waies to love fear serve honour and obey him And dost thou find that all that thou dost is nothing to what thou wouldst and desirest and longest to do Thy very best is too too bad thy
not alwaies terrifie them that Hells torments do not affright and amaze them until that they have a sure and certain confidence that Christ hath redeemed them from it 111. I wonder yea I much wonder that any man can call any thing else a good thing but only this one thing that is so good even Christ's goodnesse and that he is mine and that I am his even bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and that I am sure he hath so loved me as to give himself for me to die in my place and stead So that I am now reconciled thereby unto God who is become my Father and my God 112. I wonder Ah I much wonder now that any man can desire to live any other life or dye any other death than to God and for God 113. I wonder now yea I now do very much wonder that all men do not seek this one thing necessary so necesary to give up themselves even all their all unto God by good works and a holy life to live to him only by whom they only live and for whom only they are and were created 114. I wonder Ah I wonder now that any other life can give or should give us any or the least pleasure for thus to live in for and to God is only to live and he that thus lives lives only and none but such do live for those and all those that live not unto God are dead though they be alive yea though they do live 115. The worst of men and all men and at all times wish to dye the death of the righteous as Balaam did but few Ah few sincerely desire to live the life of the righteous for if they would they might and be assured to their eternal and everlasting joy that if they did so live they should so die and then so live with God and in God eternally 116. Ah let us then not only desire but also earnestly labour and endeavour so to live in this life as we would live in the after life when this life shall be no more and to hate sin and love righteousnesse now as those do and shall then and as we shall likewise if we live in God with them and he that so loves and hates here shall ever live in Love for ever hereafter 117. Let us love the Lord heartily in all things and for all things knowing assuredly that all things that he doth unto us is in Love 118. Therefore if the Lord strike me I will rejoyce in it because it is his hand doth it yea I will therefore mightily rejoyce 119. What ever the Lord doth unto me I will rejoyce mightily in it because he doth it and because he doth it unto me therefore I know it is best for me and I know that his end in it is to make me to rejoyce 120. Strike then O Lord strike strike and spare not either on my body or Soul goods or good name when thou wilt where thou wilt and in what manner soever thou wilt I am ready most ready and most willing to praise thee to laud extol and magnifie thee and to declare that so I would have it yea that I would only have it so for thou knowest O Lord my heart and therefore that with my heart I heartily desire to be and have what thou wilt have me to have and to be thy will O God thy good will and not mine let be alwaies done in me and upon me 121. I desire to live in God only that I may only live to and for his glory 122. To glorifie God is true glory the glory only which is true 123. To possesse God is true riches the riches only which is true 124. To get God is to get all for all things else is nothing nothing yea nothing at all 125. To be with God is to be free for all things Lord are still in thee 126. Thou art that all that only all that ever was and ever shall 127. I have nothing wherein to boast but in the Love and mercies of my God and of his mercies and Love I am resolved ever to boast 128. He that possesseth God possesseth all things that he would possesse and careth not nor asketh nor nor regardeth not any other possessions 129. He that feareth God rightly feareth no other fears how dreadful or fearful soever they be no nor his many great fearful sins nor death the King of terrors and fears 130. He that enjoyeth God hath all the joyes he would enjoy or can desire to have for to him God is much more by much than all and above all things that can be enjoyed 131. He that Loveth God truely and rightly hath all that he loveth because he loveth nothing like him or in comparison of him either in Heaven above or on the Earth beneath 132. He that pleaseth God by walking well-pleasing before him hath and he can desire no other pleasures for to keep his Laws is all his delight and the only thing that bringeth joy to his heart and that feasteth his Soul with marrow and fatnesse yea with all pleasant things 133. He that thus giveth up himself to God and acknowledgeth him for his all shall have of him here as well as hereafter much I say much above all that he is able to ask or think 134. He that only willeth Gods will hath all wayes his own will at all times in all places and conditions 135. He that giveth himself to God may be sure that God hath given himself unto him more sure and therefore all that God hath is his 136. He that would no other good but God hath God and therefore all good for he that hath God sure hath all things else sure he may be sure for in him are all things and from him come all things therefore to him alone and unto none else be only all honour and all glory for ever and for ever 137. Ah what a blessed yea most blessed Heaven is it to walk in the wayes of God which will assuredly lead us and bring us to the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 138. To possess God we must dispossess our selves of our selves 139. To be filled with God we must empty our selves of our whole selves 140. To have God we must hate our selves that is all even all that is not of God 141. To see God we must put out our own eyes and not see with them but with his eye only only with his 142. To feel God he must be in us and we must be in him 143. To know God we must first know our selves as we are in our selves then Ah then shall we have our eyes opened to see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is by faith from love 144. To hear God we must resolve to be obedient unto him then shall we surely hear his sweet still voyce even of his own spirit within us saying Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven thee I
am thy God and I will be thy God and thy guide for ever and for ever 145. To fear God is to walk uprightly in all his wayes esteeming them all holy just and good 146. How Ah how doth the heart of a Child of God open and shut pant and gape hunger and thirst grieve and groan after the goodnesse of God which is after his likenesse to be like him for it cannot else be satisfied no not with all things not with Heavens all or that is on the earth for God only is all his good 147. I had much rather by much have the grace to please God then the grace of spiritual comfort rather have the grace or Sanctification then of Consolation 148. Let me get and keep my God with the loss of all and I will account it no losse I say no losse at all 149. The world 's all is nothing I say nothing at all to God our all who is only all even all only that is or can be desired 150. Surely surely the very soul of Religion is to serve God sincerely and heartily with our whole hearts and souls 151. For a little Ah for a very little which we give to God he giveth much to us let us not be niggards then if we will or desire to have him bountifull unto us and recompence our little with his much our small with his all 152. No man surely no man ever lost or repented for giving too much to God or for doing too much for him for every mite we rightly give a Talent at least we shall receive thus to love and fear the Lord in truth is true wisdome 153. Ah the happinesse the unspeakable great and true happinesse to possesse God and to be possest by him if then so great here Ah how great shall it be and will it be hereafter if the beginning here bring such unspeakable joyes how unspeakable will they be when begun there where we know they will never passe away or have an end 154. I had much rather by much have God with me and in me and feel it and know it and have nothing else then to have him and not feel him and have all that my heart doth or can else desire 155. When Ah when I am in his presence I am so satisfied to the full that I ask after no other satisfaction all other things are not regarded no nor thought on but thought altogether unworthy to be thought on or in the least regarded 156. Possesse then Ah possesse then O God my God who art all my good my whole heart mind thoughts and affections that I may be all thine and none but thine alwayes thine and ever thine even wholly thine until that thou hast made me such as thou wilt have me to be which is holy as thou art holy pure and perfect as thou O God art even in all things in some measure like unto thee so be it O Lord God so be it Amen and Amen In Bourdeaux Ann. 1659. 1. IF thou art O God my God I am sure thou wilt be my guide and if thou art my guide O God I am sure thou art my God 2. If O God thou goest with me I am sure that all will goe well with me but if thou goest not with me I am sure that what ever I do will be ill with me and for me 3. If thou art mine O God if thou art mine I am sure I am and shall be ever thine but if thou art not mine so sure even so sure it is that I am not thine 4. If I have thee O God for my God I have all I need to have but if I have thee not I have nothing thou knowest of all that I desire and crave 5. Let me then so find thee that I may feel thee in me and feeling may rejoyce with that unspeakable joy which they only feel and find that have found thee and fed on thee 6. Let all things else what ever they be passe away do but thee O God with thine own spirit abide in me I say ever abide in me and I shall I am sure rejoyce and be glad that they be all banisht what ever they be and that it be sayed of them all they are not they are not at all 7. Let me then O God my God so have thee possess thee find feel and enjoy thee that my heart may be alwayes upright before thee and transform'd and conform'd like unto thee even according to thine own heart holy pure perfect spotless and unblameable that thou mayest henceforth and for ever alwayes and ever own me for thine own 8. I love truth in all things it is only truth that makes all things unto me lovely for where truth is there we may safely and truly say that God is for God is truth 9. Let O God alwayes truth abide in me and I in truth 10. Truth is my joy truth is my delight truth is my food truth is my life truth is to me a continual feast of myrrh mirth and gladness truth alwayes gladdeth my heart and makes it to rebound upward to skip and leap as a Kid on the Mountaines and as a Lamb on the Hills 11. Truth is to me as a pretious Oyntment an eye salve it is a healing and a comforting to me alwayes 12. Truth brings down as it were Heaven unto me and carryes me up againe into it 13. Truth speaks loud in the ears of my soul and fills it with joy and continual and abundant rejoycings 14. Truth warmeth my heart at all times keepeth the fire of love joy and peace alive that it never goeth out 15. Truth is a balme to heal all sores to fill up all scarrs to make us without blemish faire and beautifull 16. Truth never grows old but is alwayes young strong and tender it keeps us fast to him and him fast to us whom only we desire to hold fast and never to let goe 17. Truth hath power to weaken all that is amiss in us to bring it under untill it be conquered finally and destroyed totally 18. Truth inflames our hearts that they are as a fire newly kindled which cannot easily be quenched 19. Truth aboundeth over all and makes us to abound likewise so that we know both how to want and how to abound 20. Truth inableth to goe beyond all things for truth bringeth us home to possesse all things even to possesse God the God and giver of all things who is truth 21. By truth we are inabled to lead new lives and to have holy affections frequent in us our hearts being set on earth 22. Truth is lovely amiable beautiful desireable as the finest gold that cannot be finer 23. Truth maketh us unlovely lovely beautiful bright shining transparent and glorious being a beame a spark a coale a little light of that great light in whom we are comprehended but cannot Ah cannot comprehend for he is altogether incomprehensible 24. Truth makes us alwayes lovely fair and beautiful
in his eyes who can behold no falsity no evil 25. Truth is that mantle to cover our many infirmityes and to make us that with bouldness we may approach that glorious Sun and not be burnt that glorious day and pertake of its glory that will cloud and eclipse the errours that are yet in us and make us to feel and to know that we are bound up in this blessed mantle with his hand that will take care over us and for us that no evil any more hurt us 26. Ah God the God of truth and my God let this truth of thine never depart from me nor I from it let me shine in it more and more that I may be resplendent and glorious alwayes shining in thy sight that thou mayest delight to look upon me to love me and to honour me making me thy delight in and through the Son of thy love and the Saviour and Redeemer of my soul Jesus Christ the Righteous let my heart be alwayes a heart of truth a true heart serving thee unfainedly and doing alwayes all that I do in truth from love 27. When God is present there is present all good for all good is in God and from him proceedeth nothing but good he being the best the chief and the only good 28. Accordinglie as we enjoy God our joyes abound increase or decrease 29. When we possess him whatever other things we possossess we possess them noâ— whatever else we hear we hear not whatever else we see we see not whatever else we be we are as if we were not he being the souls all even all that it wills would loves or desires the soul is so glued to him that it cannot be taken off by any thing that is either in heaven above or on earth below 30. Who can ah who can recount express tell or set forth the gracious magnificent transcendent bountiful bountifulness of our God in Jesus Christ its height is too high its breadth is too broad its length is too long and its depth is too deep As it is only his own Spirit that can tell what is in his mind for our good so it is only they they only that possess his Spirit that can comprehend in some measure the sweet Sweets that he gives that he powers and showers down into the hearts of his beloved ones 31. The joyes of heaven are far above Unto all those that truly love Than all else be that we do know That we taste that we feel that we see 32. Go on go on O God go on To give me thy beloved Son Let him be mine let me be his For he 's my joy my peace and bliss 33. Let me in him and he in me Be alwaies seen to live and be Then when this all shall pass away My soul with him shall ever stay 34. It is unto thee O Christ that I come to have of thy self thy self 35. Let the world and devil use all their skill I am sure my God will be with me still 36. I am sure that God will sit and prepare me for all trials and afflictions whatsover either before or in the trial of affliction 37. Ah Lord I beseech thee give me this grace that I may desire grace pray for grace and prize grace here on earth as I do and shall do glory hereafter in heaven for I know that he that hath not grace here shall not have glory hereafter and the more grace here the more glory hereafter 38. If then I live the life of grace here I am as sure I shall live the life of glory hereafter 39. Me thinks it is much too low a thing for a Christian to desire any thing either here or hereafter for himself alone If I desire any thing here methinks it is chiefly for other most of all for others to refresh and comfort them I desire to have that I may have to give as for my self any condition I praise God would now fully please me would now fully content me yea I am fully perswaded that any bitter yea all bitters would be to me sweet in povertie I should find riches in banishment libertie in dishonour honour in contempt applause in being despised rejoyce and though I had nothing yet me thinks I should enjoy all things 40. My God knows how much I desire heaven but more for his sake then for my own sake he knoweth that knoweth all the secrets of my heart that with my heart and soul I love him more much by much then my self I am so unlovely to my self that I cannot that I dare not love my self but in subordination to him and for him that I may praise him that I may prize him that I may fear him that I may love him ah that I may love him obey him and adore him 41. To love God I am unfit I am unworthy because I cannot ah because I cannot love him as I would as I should Indeed if thus it were possible for me to love him ah how would I delight even in my own love and love my self if that I had such a heart according to his heart to love him only with my whole heart even with a holy heart 42. But I find my heart so dull so dead so cold so benumm'd so Icy and frozen that there is not that heat left within me of love as I would as I desire and as I should have for my God for my good for my heaven for my bliss for my rest for my peace and for my only joy all which is my God 43. Ah my Love thou art altogether unlovely because thou dost not and because thou canst not love as thou shouldst what thou shouldst love and because thou lovest so much too much what thou shouldst not love thy self thy unlovely loveless self 44. Ah Lord my Lord it is thee it is thee that my soul with all my heart would love and would if it could love none else love none besides in comparison of thee and thou knowst O Lord my God I desire sincerely and would be filled with this grace of Love but for thee alone alone for thee for thee my God my God who art to me onlie lovelie let I beseech thee all other love that is disordinate decrease that loving these less I may love thee more love thee so as thou requirest and deservest that is above all things in heaven above or on earth below 45. I know O Lord that thou art with me of a truth because thy truth is with me that is in me of a very truth 46. Love from God fills our hearts with sincere and true love for God or Gods love to us fills us with love for him his love sweetly constraineth us 47. Ah how light how light is that heart that is emptied of all sin being unburdened of that intolerable burden for if a wounded heart cannot be born ah then when such a heart is made whole it must needs bring ease refreshing comfort and unspeakable joy 48.
look upward or to hope or to think or to believe this is the nature of sin and of the man that is in sin to be heavy dull faint coward swallowing down and giving it self up unto all fears horribly ashamed and confounded being darknesse even black thick darknesse darknesse it self and miserable ignorance which I take to be the greatest and sorest evil of all to be deprived of this heavenly flower of this heavens beauty of knowledge to see and know our blessed estates of being in God and Gods being in us which is perfect full whole and entire blessednesse therefore the contrary ignorance black thick ignorance must needs be the contrary the puddle the filth and excrement of Hell in it self as it were entire full whole compleat and perfect cursednesse and misery 123. Ah Lord God how great how transcendent magnificent wonderfully exceeding and unspeakably great is thy bountiful goodnesse in giving and forgiving what thou givest and forgivest especially unto me despicable poor vile me the first chiefest and greatest of all sinners and the very worst of the worst of all men how Ah how my Soul doth desire unfaignedly at this time to prize and praise thee I know that thou knowest And Ah that I could tell and shew forth how and what thou hast at this very time done for me in opening mine eies to see and know and comprehend in some measure and understand what it is to be in thee to partake of thee and to be swallowed up into thee in a little though very little dark measure to know thee but clearly to see feel and know that I am comprehended of thee that is that thou art mine and that I am thine Ah Lord suffer not I beseech thee that the ignorance which I am sure that sin brings with it take away from me this glorious portion of knowledg to know and feel and see my self in thee and that thou art and all thine mine Ah Lord let this light of thine which is thy self alwaies shine in me that by it I may be kept from the black thick darknesse of sin ignorance and errour and that I may not hence forth walk in those waies which lead unto such deep destruction as to eclypse weaken darken much lesse put out or destroy this glorious beam of thy most glorious light which through thy free most free grace and mercy in Jesus Christ thou hast at this time caused so brightly clearly transparently and fully to shine upon me Ah Lord let this glorious Light of thine alwaies continue in me that I may alwaies see my self in thee and thee in me and know thee to be mine and that I am thine that thereby I may be inabled to tell of and to set forth thy praises and that thou art such a God as thou art and to be desired and sought after only being only the desirable and the desired And grant that the remembrance of this thy Love and gratious dealing with me at this time may never be forgotten by me not slip out of my mind but that I may alwaies have it in remembrance that it may be as a strong Tower and bulwark against all and every temptation that shall at any time fall upon me and that hereby I may be made more and more able to resist every lust and sin whether in thought word or deed to hate it and flye from it as the greatest of all evils as the fire of Hell and the worm of Conscience esteeming it the very worst of the worst of the Devil Let it I most humbly beseeth thee O our Father in Jesus Christ strengthen and augment my resolution and hatred against all and every sin as well against the least of all as the very greatest of all that I may more and more see all sin to be exceeding sinful the bane ruine destruction and destroyer of all good blessednesse and happinesse Ah Lord hear me and answer me in Jesus Christ and continue thus gratiously to go along with me to be alwaies by me and to watch over me that no evil at any time either in thought word or deed overtake me or come nigh me to hurt me to the end I may walk before thee with a perfect and upright heart doing alwaies all that is right in thy sight that thou maiest O Lord more and more delight in me the work of thy hand and in some measure I hope trust and believe in Jesus Christ the joy of thy heart and that thou wilt gratiously own me for thine own and never be ashamed to be called my God for Christ my Soul doth and shall alwaies blesse thee and to him with thine own most glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace the Sanctifier and Comforrer be alwaies and eternally given Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen 124. God he waiteth to be gratious to bring deliverance to his children and servants as they wait for the grace of deliverance 125. Thus is our Good good gratious and merciful Sympathizing with us in our afflictions as well as in our comforts 126. Thus is our God a most gratious God The God of all grace and Father of all mercies alwaies doing good never weary repenting or standing still 127. His fountain of Love favour grace and mercy is not only alwaies open for us but alwaies running over flowing out to run into us he is abundant in loving kindnesse yea his delight is to be alwaies doing good he would that we would alwaies ask that he might alwaies give 128. It is not possible but impossible to be weary speaking unto God when that we have his Spirit or to be weary hearing of him speak to us by the same Spirit 129. His words are as the droppings of honey the sweet of all sweets sweeter much by much than the honey or the honey comb 130. The Soul of a right Christian of a true Believer doth not nor cannot desire more favour than to be admitted to speak freely unto God being fitted by him and taught by his Spirit what to speak for then he is sure to hear him to speak to him again an answer of peace 131. If it be so delightful a thing to us here in the flesh whilst we are as it were so far from him or at least seeing him far off so darkly his back parts only Ah how comforting how solacing how transforming to see his transcendent glorious face as he is to be seen and to hear his sweet and sacred voyce audably that we are his and that he is ours And when he shall have cloathed us with his own liknesse and have made us in some small measure glorious as he is glorious for we shall then shine in the glory of our head Christ Jesus putting on his glory 132. Ah Lord God be good unto me and grant that through thine infinite fulness and goodnesse I may fill others that are empty with these thine overslowings wherewith thou hast filled
me that I may feed them with this bread and with those dainties wherewith thou hast been pleased so gratiously and plentifully to feed me and that I may by communication inrich them with this same impuisable treasure where with thou hast now and heretofore inriched my Soul 133. Let me have nothing Ah Lord let me have nothing for my self alone but let me be alwaies ready and willing to give unto others whatsoever it be that thou shalt give to me to carry to them forthwith whatever thou thy self shalt bring me to make them partakers of all whatsoever thou shalt make me at any time yea the best of times partaker of that thou givest it unto me when alone yet grant O God that I may esteem it as a common gift that is to make it common by giving it freely liberally and cheerfully not repugningly repiningly or repentingly as thine O Lord as thine that we may altogether go hand in hand speaking thy praises and telling of all what ever thou doest for our Souls 134. What ever God gives his clildren what condition soever he brings them into it is intended by him for their advantage and good therefore they should alwaies rejoyce for all things for hight degree and low degree for health and sicknesse for applause and for contempt and scorn not to do as many do endeavour to turn what God intends for their comforts into sorrowing cares and heavinesse and say that they are not fit for comforts and joyes as if God knew not what were fit or fittest for them How is it to be pitied and lamented and God knows how I pity them and lament for them that thus turn his good into evil even to themselves and their very Souls that is they labour with might and main what in them lies to turn his comforts into discomforts his peace into wart his smiles into frowns his joyes into sorrowing to change his intendments for their good as much as in them lieth unto their own hurt should we not be glad when we see and plainly perceive that he intends to glad us and rejoyce when that he intends to fill our cup full of joy shall we say Ah God forbid shew me not Heaven yet give me not a foretast or a foresight of it yet leave me thus alone and come not O God so nigh me with thy comforts for thy smiles and thy most lovely and gratious presence overcome me I would rather thy absence and thy frowns for a little space What shall we be sorry for that God is so good unto us and say that he doth us too much good how dare any man choose any condition for himself how dare any man presume to think that he knoweth what condition is best for him and be so bold as to say that a contrary condition to that which God gives him and sends him would be better for him as if God knew not when best to fill us with joyes and when with sorrows and when to take the one and the other from us If he sends me alwaies joyes I will alwaies rejoyce and if he fill me alwaies with sighing and sorrows I am sure he will fit me for that condition also and also in it to make me to rejoyce Let the Lord do unto me alwaies what seemeth him good what he will not what I will his will not mine be done now henceforth and for ever more Amen 135. Deal with me O God the God of my Salvation as thou pleasest let the Issue of all things be as thou wilt only give me grace in all things to walk uprightly before thee 136. If we have O God so much cause to serve thee for what we have already received how much more for that O Lord which thou hast promised and which we know thou wilt surely give us 137. Ah Lord let me cling to thee as a sucking Child doth to the breast for 't is from thee that I can only suck the milk of consolation nourishment strength and comfort 138. T is thee in us and us O Lord in thee That doth from all sin ever make us free 139. O Lord the Heaven of Heaven doth not contain thee only but thou livest also in the lowest hearts of thy Children as well as in the highest Heavens with thy Servants Abraham Isaae and Jacob. 140. O Lord thou knowest that I am content and willing too to loose much as to my self that I may be able to give a little unto others 141. I would rather write a little for others sakes then hear much for my own sake only 142. This losse I have often had and yet I desire rather much by much to be alwayes a looser then a gayner being more others for the most part then mine own for in some measure and for which I desire Eternally to praise thy name I have what I would have and I am sure I shall never loose it 143. Ah how glad am I when I can glad others thou O Lord knowest the great joyes I have when thou art pleased to use me as a means to make others to rejoyce 144. When O Lord thou fillest me and then emptiest me as it were into others I account it not emptying but overflowing 145. So that by my loss others might but gaine I care not what loss soever I sustaine 146. When O Lord thou speakest to the heart thou preparest that is makest the heart fit to speak fitly and preparedly to thee 147. Thy tongue even thine O Lord maketh our hearts and our hands as the pen of a ready writer alwayes ready to speak or to write 148. Thy graces O Lord many times flow into our souls as the full Sea with a high tide loftily and sweetly 149. But Ah how is the soul beneap'd and muddy having no pleasantnesse when the ride of thy presence is gone out 150. Return O Lord return return unto me to fill me that I may at least be as often filled with thine overflowings as emptyed of them by mine own out-goings 151. Ah that I had thee so O Lord as I might alwayes have thee possess thee so as I might alwayes joy in these sweet pleasant and delightful enjoyments of thy blessed most blessed presence which only comforts and contents me 152. Thy presence O God thy presence thy presence is much more esteemed by me by much then life and sweeter ten thousand times ten thousand then the Hony-Comb of any pleasure more desireable then the finest Gold or most pretious Pearls and to be prefer'd above many Rivers of Wine and Oyle 153. Heap upon me O Lord I beseech hee heaps upon heaps of these thy favours and cause these thine overflowings to cover the banks of my barrennesse and filthynesse that I may be comely and pleasant in thy sight and esteem 154. Fill me O Lord I beseech thee so full as that I never grow empty againe of thy grace and goodnesse of obedience and love 155. Warm me so that I never grow cold againe
be nigh us and how do we cast our selves down before him at his feet and bewail our infirmities and weaknesses begging strength from him to support and keep us up how do we wonder and are astonisht to see the fire of his wrath kindled against the wicked and against evil doers and yet that such wicked evil doers as we are are not consumed to see fire in the bush and yet the bush not burnt 11. Thus we may plainly see that God seeth all to be good for us yea best of all which he sendeth us causing every thing to work together for our good Ah seeing then that his love mercy and goodnesse is such and so great for us let us always mightily praise him and prize him at the very highest price and give up our spirits souls and bodyes to live to him and for him and unto and for his praise honour and glory it being our glory and our honour our happiness and our bliss that he is such a God as he is To him alone therefore be given alwayes all honour and glory and praise for ever and for ever 12. Laying out is laying up laying out of earthly treasure on earth with a heavenly heart is to lay up heavenly treasure in Heaven according to Gods word and his heart 13. God giveth unto his Children of his own strength to overcome as it were himself he delighteth to be as it were overcome by them And to make us more than Conquerours 14. Ah the mercy the mercy and bounty of God and the misery of man that God being such a God as he is should notwithstanding continue to do so much for man and man nevertheless continue continually to do so much against his God I say against his God even then when he knoweth God to be his God 15. Ah Lord how is it that thou should'st take pleasure to mind us so much as thou dost although thou knowest well our evil minds and how little we mind thee and although thou tellest us by thine own spirit how that we are near and dear unto thee even alwayes in thy mind and heart to do us good for ever and for ever Ah how great is our misery to have such depraved natures and such Devil-like hearts to pay thy merciful kindnesse with such high unkindnesse and ingratitude to thee who art our only good 16. How is it O Lord that thou takest such continual care and payns as it were and art at so much cost to overcome us with thy loving kindnesse and yet we remain so brutish and senslesse stupid and unkind that we will not but refuse to be overcome 17. Ah the misery the misery of man who is never weary nor would never be weary of doing evil yea all manner of evil against his most kind and loving Lord and God who is so good to him as he is never weary nor repents of doing of him good notwithstanding his continual doing of evil or doing of all evil continually 18. A good heart giveth unto the Lord freely cheerfully willingly and rejoycingly of all that he hath and alwaies acknowledgeth and saith of thine own O Lord I will and do give thee 19. When that the Lord giveth unto such a soul Grace he giveth him Glory when he giveth him outward things he praiseth him and enlargeth his bowels of compassion unto the Saints 20. Such hearts desire mightily largnesse of heart or large hearts to give according to what they receive whether it be Spirituals or Temporals nothing is so near or dear unto them as the work of the Lord which is to do his will in all things from the very highest of Grace to the very lowest of things in Nature 21. Ah Lord God let me alwaies bear thee in mind when ever I mind that is think on any thing 22. Let me O Lord I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee do every thing that I do as knowing and remembring that thou seest and all knowest the thoughts of my heart and writest down all my words and works on thy blessed book of remembrance 23. Let me do all that I do before men as before thee O God my God knowing that thou seest it and hearest it 24. And all that I take in hand to do O God before thee Let me do it all as if all the men in the World did look on me and see it 25. Norwithstanding the greatnesse and numberless number of my sins thy goodnesse O God was so great towards me as moved thee to have compassion on me and to pour out thy endlesse and everlasting Love and kindnesse in mercy upon me 26. Also O God thou causedst my own sins to appear so great and filthy before me that I was thereby ashamed of my self and confounded before thee 27. So that seeing my self thus polluted filthy abominable and unclean yea abominably unclean I left my self willingly I hated and do hate and do hate my self truly and I imbraced through Grace thy most gratious offers of Grace Love and Mercy heartily and unfeignedly returning unto thee with my whole heart desiring entirely and sinserely an entire change from all evil to all good from my own evil waies to thy most blessed waies that are so good so sweet so beautiful so delightful that since the knowledge of them my soul hath been often delighted refreshed feasted and satisfied in them and with them 28. Ah mercy of mercies that thou wouldest O God be pleased thus in mercy to look on me when I was fit and ripe for all thy Judgments And when thou mightest justly have poured out the viols of thy wrath and fury upon me with the greatest indignation that then even then to kindle the flames of Love in my heart from the continual burnings in thine O God in thine to love fear seek adore and serve thee unfiegnedly with my whole heart Ah what mercy to this mercy 29. Continue O God that art my God and only good continue Ah continue I most humbly beseech thee to be thus merciful unto me that I turn not thy Grace into wantonnesse but in some measure labour and strive to walk worthy of these thy rich and saving mercies with which thou hast and wilt for ever inrich my poor Soul with and save it 30. As a natural Father a Father in the flesh is and must be still a Father and a child a child so me thinks it is with God our Heavenly and Spiritual Father he having once begotten us and we are born again and are become his children by the Grace of Adoption Justification and Sanctification he must be still our Father and we his children unto Eternal Salvation Though we do many times as fleshly children not alwaies do the will of their Fathers in the flesh not please them alwaies not satisfie or delight them nor give them content yet notwithstanding they are still children nor they cannot cease to be children nor their Father to be their Father even so though we do not alwaies do
what liketh God our Heavenly Father but that at times which disliketh him and displeaseth him he as a good Father sometimes punisheth us and sometimes passeth by our failings without punishment eyeing what is best for us and as a Father he never faileth us neither will he suffer us to fail of being his children Once his children and ever his his for ever and for ever 31. Ah Lord God that art so glorious here in Grace how transcendently glorious art thou in Glory If the Earth be so full of thy Glory how full is Heaven O Lord thy dwelling place where thou manifestest thy self unto the Saints and they behold thy beauty and thy glory face to face 32. If thy back parts be so beautiful to our eies here in the flesh how beautiful Ah how beautiful O Lord will thy glorious countenance be unto us in glory where we shall see thee and know thee as thou art to be known 33. Thy presence even here O Lord God when we have Communion with thee doth so delight and ravish us that we had much rather by much be a door-keeper in thy house be a servant to the meanest of all thy servants than sit on Thrones and rule among the wicked that keep not thy Laws 34. I have O Lord I confesse abused thy mercies and do therefore acknowledge that thou mayest justly refuse me all mercies 35. I have walked contrary unto thee O God and still do and therefore I confesse that thou mayest justly walk contrary unto me and give me up to do all the evil that is in my heart which is the very greatest of all thy Judgments in this life 36. We are the work of thine hand we are thine own and thou mayest justly do with us all that seemeth good unto thee to do for what is right in thy sight O Lord is just and right and good 37. When the Lord is with us for good then he hath accepted of us he is in us and we are in him one with him and he one with us we as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and he as bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh we are not two but one yea there is such an onenesse as we are one in some measure in all things and have the same affections for all things loving what is to be loved and hating what is to be hated there is a like purity and no mixture in our choyse of good and in our hatred and abhorrency of evil as to the truth and cincerity if it though much different in the degrees 38. Thus even thus is man made in some measure as God that is God-like Thus even thus doth he partake of the holy and Divine Nature of God Thus even thus doth God himself give of himself unto man to make man like himself That man may be satisfied as God is satisfied but differently thus God seeing all things in himself from himself and man seeing what is of God in him is of his free gift from his free Love 39. That is to have a heart according to Gods heart to be alwaies satisfied in all Gods dealings and doings 40. All that God doth is to have his own will accomplisht and done and if our will as it should be according to his will then are we well conrent in and with all that is done for nothing is done or can be done but that and only that which God will have to be done 41. The honour of all the Saints is Gods honour and their glory is to bring him glory or to glorifie him as the Saints and Angels doe in glory 42. Ah Lord God let me as the Bee make honey of the weeds as well as of the flovvers fetch good out of evil as vvell as increase and multiply good from good condemn sin vvhere ever I see it hate it most vvhere I see it most speak most against it vvhen I hear it most spoken for and let the hearing and seeing of grace in others and from others beget more grace in me and let me lay it up as the Bee doth honey in the hive for my self to feed on in the winter of temptation and affliction and that as honey it may be sweet and comfort others also 43. I am resolved O Lord not to be satisfied until I find within me that thou art well and truly satisfied with me and by my whole life and conversation 44. I am O Lord resolved through grace not to be satisfied until I find thy holy Laws so writ on my heart that my heart be according to thy heart and set and bent and resolved entirely and continually and universally in all things to keep thy Law 45. Ah Lord let me so find thee alwaies within me that I may alwaies do the things and only the things that are right in thy sight 46. Let my Love be so true O Lord for thee as I may only love thy truth that truth only in all things may be only lovely unto me 47. Let my goings out be comeings in unto me that is Let all O Lord that I do bring me good yea even my falls make me rise and stand the faster relying on thy strength O God my God who only art able to keep me both from stumbling and from falling 48. Watch O Lord watch over my heart continually that I depart not from thee but that I do the things alwaies that are in some measure according to thy heart 49. The Lord gives his graces unto those that rightly ask them as we would do water at a Fountain unto all those should come for it in a due and right manner give as well a thousand ten thousand yea a hundred times ten thousand draughts to any one that should need it as one draught alone so our God such is his fulnesse such is his goodnesse that he gives as well and as willingly all the desires of our hearts and Souls as one desire alone yea as the least desire of all if we do but ask as we should ask and for that end or those ends alone that he hath appoynted them and us to have them for to give much or little is to him all alike he cannot such a Fountain is he be emptied no nor lessened at all by whatever he gives he is still the same full of all blessednesse and goodnesse alwaies ready to distribute and give unto the necessity of the Saints never weary nor standing still yesterday to day and to morrow and for ever the same 50. Therefore to have much is to ask much ask and ye shall have that your joy may be full God doth not say or mean that we may or can be too bold that we may ask too much And to take away this scruple or doubt he promiseth that what ever we shall ask believingly in the name of Jesus Christ we shall receive if we open our mouths wide then we have his promise that he will fill them which implyes that the way
shall find sin dead then will I say as the Lord liveth and because he was put to death and now liveth I shall live also 62. Sin being thus banisht and cast out then shall I see my self free and taken O Lord into Covenant with thee then will I say I am no longer under the Law but under Grace which gratious favour O Lord do me that I may henceforth and for ever live unto and for thine Eternal honour and glory 63. Ah Lord God that wert fastned to the Crosse for my sins and to save my poor Soul fasten my sins there and let them never get loose again and Ah Lord let my Soul live ever in thee and possesse thee ever 64. Ah Lord that raignest over all Principalities and Powers reign I most humbly beseech thee over all these Princes and Powers that have Dominion over me that I may be brought into subjection unto thy most holy Laws and live obediently keeping all thy Divine Commandments That thou O Lord God who art God over all blessed for ever and ever maiest be my God ever over all and blesse me also for ever and for ever that I may ever live in thee and thee in me Amen Amen 65. If we be so willing to unstrip our selves of our cloathing at night and to lye down on out beds naked to uncloath our selves of all our glory and honour pomp and beauty and to unmind that we are what we are to the end we may enjoy a few hours quiet and rest Ah how willing shall we be to unstrip our selves of all that we possesse and of our lives too when that last long night of death shall come and appear to fetch us up from hence that we may be ever with the Lord who is our Eternal and everlasting Portion our infinite and incomprehensible good and blessed rest and peace which shall be as it were ever beginning and never end nor cease 66. Ah our God that art what thou art and yet wilt be pleased to be ours and to own us for thine own 67. Ah Lord God though others satisfie themselves to hear of thee let me not be satisfied till mine eie see thee 68. Though others O Lord be well contented to know thee as men reach Let me I beseech thee be satisfied only with thine own reachings to know thee as thou art to be known that is to see and find and feel thee in me dwelling raigning and ruling there being all in all and bringing into subjection all powers that lift up themselves in me against thee 69. Ah Lord God how much better is it thus to have thee then to have all things out of thee as the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World 70. What Ah what is Earth to Heaven these things below to the things that are above but as pebbles to pearls as drosse to gold or as a shadow to the most glorious and most sublime substance 71. The one being life the other death the one fully satisfies the other is vain and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit with it 72. We cannot know God till we altogether forget our selves we cannot hear God till we are altogether deaf to our selves and to all things out of God we cannot see God till we are stark blind to all things besides him and that is not of him we cannot find God as he is until we have lost our selves and all things else that concerns him not so do and prosper 73. As we know not our latter end nor are not able to number our daies so are we not at all able to tell what God is unlesse he tell us nor to hear him unlesse he open our hearts and give us understanding not comprehend him until he hath made us one with himself and given us his own Spirit to know him by 74. Thus if we live to move after his call and be obedient unto his voyce we shall so hear that our Souls shall live and for ever rejoyce that we live thus to obey him 75. Ah Lord God Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth thou art the all of all those that know thee they that know thee O God as thou art to be known care to know nothing else thou art altogether alsufficient to content and satisfie them with all pleasures and delights their joyes are full when that they enjoy thee And they then say with Jacob that they have all and with David desire nothing else either in Heaven above or Earth beneath Their wills are so swallowed up into thine that they are not theirs but thine and thus to live to thee and in thee they count it only to live and out of thee to be as if they were not as if they had no being 76. I am a Creature but thy Creature O Lord my God I am a man but created for thy self for thy glory and my Everlasting good and happinesse and shall I know that I am thus such a one and not be satisfied for is there any thing else that can satisfie me thus 77. Ah Lord thou settest before me life and death good and evil light and darknesse Heaven and Earth the things above and the things below Ah suffer me not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to prefer pebbles to pearls drosse to gold darknesse to light death to life evil to good Earth to Heaven these low things here below to those high and most transcendent glorious things above But let me give my self to thee O God that hast provided and given such rich rare and pretious things to me enjoying them let me not care seek for or mind these having thee let me be fully satisfied and rejoyce evermore with unspeakable joy 78. Being thy favourite O God who art King of Kings and Lord of Lords living in thy fear and favour shall I not rejoyce much more by much than they do or can do that are but favourites to men and have but their favour they shall all pass away but thee and thy word of grace ingrafted in me shall endure for ever and for ever 79. Ah Lord God pour out of thy self into me more and more that I may be made to rejoyce alwaies with unspeakable joy yea that my joyes may be full 80. Let me O Lord rejoyce much more in despising these things here below than in prizing of them and to have a heart to trample them under my feet than to set them up in my thoughts and affections These being low as they are let me O God keep them alwaies under my feet and trample on them as on durt and dung minding these high and holy things above which thou givest only in love and to those only whom thou lovest 81. Ah Lord God swallow me up into thy self that I may be found there naked and empty of all things out of thee and besides thee so that I may only possesse thee my only good blisse and blessednesse 82. Ah Lord God set alwaies before my eies mine Eternal and
or to have 115. Having thee alone O God I shall have all that is or can ever be attained either here or hereafter 116. I know that there is none in Heaven that have more or that desire more let me have what they have and I shall then be as they be satisfied but till I have as much at least as any I cannot say that I have enough for my desires are as large And till I am thus filed as they are that thus know thee possesse thee and adore thee I cannot but cry out with continual hungring and thirstings Oh feed me Oh fill me for I am empty and want all things if thou dost not O God thus fill me with thy bounty and satisfie me with thy loving kindnesse and cause me to see and know that thou art mine and that I am only thine 117. Ah Lord God I know it is thee only only thee that canst cast out Devils Ah cast out I most humbly beseech thee all the Devils that are in me thou O God that raisest from death to life and that forgivest all our sins freely even for thine own names sake only 118. All that is done in me is done by thee O God it is thine arme that bringeth me so great Salvation 119. Ah Lord God thou only art able to teach and none but those that are immediatly taught by thy spirit know thee or thy teachings 120. Ah Lord teach me then but to know thee as thou art known by thine and I will not care for any other knowledge or any other thing for he that hath this one thing given him may truly say as Jacob did that he hath all 121. Thou art O Lord God that well of life and water of life that whoever drinketh off that is hath thee in himself shall never more thirst againe after any other thing for thou wilt O Christ be ever in him a well of water springing in him even unto Eternal life 121. Thou art O Christ thou art that bread of life that cometh down from Heaven into our hearts and feedest our souls in the assurance of faith sight and knowledg unto Everlasting life 122. Thou art ours and we are thine and this we are taught by thine own spirit dwelling in us and not by any other teaching or science 123. And being thus perswaded and assured our hearts do continually rejoyce yea and shall rejoyce continually even for ever and for ever 124. Such is the Mighty Power of God unto those that know him and waite on him that he maketh as it were at times the very stones in the wall to look on us and to speak good unto us 125. Such is Gods goodnesse that his presence brings with it all good and makes it present to us and dissipates all evil so as we are in some measure changed from evil to good and emptyed of all evil and filled with all good But Ah its duration for the most part for the most of times is little and soon departs such is our forwardness and pronenesse to all evil and our aversnesse and deadnesse to all that is good which makes the Children of God with Paul to be weary yea stark weary of themselves as of a dead body yea to esteem their bodyes their own natural affections even as dead bodyes wherefore they desire to be dissolved finding such a Law in their members as continually fighteth and warreth against the Law of God in their minds and leads them so often Captive unto the Law of sin that they complain in the very language of that blessed Apostle Ah wretched man miserable worm that I am when shall I be delivered when shall I be freed and set at liberty when shall it be with me as my soul desires it were to live unto God as I should as I would and not thus live in death or dye all the day long whilst I am alive 126. Ah most glorious and most holy Lord God it is thy glory that thou art what thou art and it is our mighty shame that we are what we are thy purity and thy power O God is only known unto thy self we indeed see something of thee But all that all the Angels and blessed in Heaven see were all their sight and knowledge in one of them would yet be much less by much then the least drop is to the whole Ocean yea then one moment is or would be unto Eternity Thou art O God thou art incomprehensibly glorious powerful and great there is no end of thy goodnesse for it shall continue for ever and for ever world without end so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 127. Let me O God my God be so swallowed up into thee as I may ask after nothing but thee as I may speak of nothing but thee not hear nothing in me but thee that I may desire nothing but thee and may live unto nothing but thee so that I may be all thine and nothing but thine 128. This knowledge O God of thee passeth all understanding none can speak of it unless thou speakest it in him and that is according to us and not according to thee for if thou should'st speak unto us according to thy self Ah Lord we could not hear thee so as to comprehend it 129. As we have thee O God so we speak of thee as we know thee so we declare thee as we feel thee so we praise thee and as we comprehend thee so we prise thee and according as thou art unto us so we publish it unto others But alas alas what is this to thee to what thou art 130. Let not he that hath the most boast for he hath nought but what is given him 131. Let not him that hath the least be discouraged for he hath so much as will do him most good at the last 132. Let not him that is fallen cast himself down over much for God if he seek him will raise him up againe 133. Let every man waite and in due time he shall have so much of that which God seeth and knoweth is best for him 134. The best of all is that which God seeth to be best of all for us and so much he will not fail to give thee O man who ever thou art if thou relye and depend on him 135. And when we have received it let us lay it up that is lay it out that it may increase for he that hath most more shall be given him he shall have most of all 136. The blessing of the Almighty shall and will alwayes goe along with those that diligently seek him they shall be sure to see no evil all their dayes 137. The blessednesse and the happinesse of the Saints is to see God and to know him to be theirs 138. He shall have him that would have him he shall be with him that desireth him he shall be taught by him that giveth himself up unto him and he shall know him that followeth after him in his wayes and that
how high soever thou shalt raise me 194. Ah Lord God let my knowledge be that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and that I am thine 195. Ah Lord destroy the adversaries and enemies of my Salvation here which is thy shining manifesting and appearing in me unto me my knowledge of thee to be mine and I to be thine my dying to self to flesh and World to all that is not of thee and my living only to thee O God the God of my Salvation to thee to thee 196. My hereafter Salvation I know that none nor nothing can hinder me from I shall I know enjoy thee O God possesse thee behold thee know thee and see thee as thou art to be seen and known I say and am sure that nothing is able or shall hinder me from this blessednesse which thou hast prepared for me 197. Ah were it not for the enemies of our Salvation which are our own fleshly lusts and vile affections which fight and warr continually against thee O God our Salvation in us we should see know find and feel the same Salvation ever here as hereafter we should contemplate thy beautiful beauty and thy most glorious glory here even as in glory hereafter 198. Ah Lord God fight then on my behalf consume and destroy wirh an utter destruction all these my enemies which hinder here this my so great Salvation consume and make wast all their powers and deliver my poor Soul because I trust in thee and in thy great name which are thy faithful promises 199. As a Fountain gives freely without intermission or constraint but the natural power or fulnesse that forceth even so should we that live in God and possesse him and his fulnesse be alwaies giving and communicating of what we have And as a fountain that is stopped a while being hindred of continuing its largesse doth as it were during that space make or lay up provision to be more larger in its bounty even so me thinks should we be and do if for some time occasion or opportunity present not but we are as it were stopped from giving being unstopt that is occasion presenting it self to our charity we should shew forth by our grosse streams of largenesse in giving that the restraint of not having occasion was a constraint and against the supernatural now natural faculties of our Souls affections 200. If thus we were alwaies communicating and when we find not occasion so to do had in us alwaies a vehement earnest burning desire to give Ah how like should we be unto our good God and Heavenly Father who gives continually and is never weary nor repenteth Glory to God In Bourdeaux Ann. 1661. 1. The love of God is the best of Heaven the very glory in glory 2. The love of God makes all things lovely to all those that know that they are his beloved 3. Gods love is sweeter than the hony or the hony comb much more desired and to be desired more by much then all fine gold and the most pretious Pearls 4. Gods love is better then Wine to comfort the heart it is the fatnesse marrow and sweetnesse of Heaven that feeds feasts and solaceth the soul. 5. There is nothing in Heaven above to be compared to Gods love 6. And all things that are here below Ah how much below are they all to the love of God 7. He that hath or is in the love of God hath all God for God is all love 8. Ah Lord God love me then so that I may be filled with love to love thee as I should love thee to fear thee as I should fear thee to honour thee as I should honour thee and to obey thee as I should obey thee in all things in spirit soul and body by all my thoughts words and actions now henceforth and for ever more Amen 9. Ah Lord God how unspeakably great is thy love to all thy Children and Servants turning all things to their good even the very worst of things their sins 10. God sheweth his great love unto us how he loveth us by shedding abroad his love so in our hearts as we are made thereby to love him for naturally we love him not therefore did he not give us love to love him we would nor could never love him 11. Ah powerful love that makes of us haters to become true lovers to love him in very truth whom we hated truly 12. Yea those that have the love of God thus in their hearts love him so as it may be truly sayd of them that they love nothing else for they love him above their goods or good name above their Children above their Wives yea much more and above their very lives They can and easily do when called thereto give up all to him and for him his love doth constrain to love him again the heart is so in love with him finding him so lovely that it cryes out continually for more love that it may love him more for nothing comforts such souls as Gods love they make and account his love as himself and himself to be his love and being thus loved by him and living thus in his love they live in him and he in them which is the very life of their lives and the very bliss and Heaven of their Heaven 13. Such is the love of God unto us his Children that he swallows us up and houseth us in himself that we may be all his and he all ours that we may put him so on as be made like him and partake continually of him which is our Crown and glory yea our Crown in glory which will make us shine more beautiful and glorious then ten thousand Sons 14. Cause me O Lord God to declare what thou wilt have me to declare cause me to believe what thou wilt have me to believe cause me to know what thou wilt have me to know and inable me to do all that thou wilt have me to do that I may be filled with thee to live to thee and in thee to thine Eternal honour praise and glory so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 15. Goe forth O God go forth before me that I may follow thee where ever thou goest that thou wilt be unto me a light by night in the mid'st of my natural darknesse which is darker then the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter then the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Lawes and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fil me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us
longer a neglecter of so great Salvation as is so freely offered unto thee and quench not the spirit in thee no longer which if thou wilt but now repent and leave for ever thy sins thou shalt find mercy and he will seal it to thy heart and Conscience unto the day of Redemption awake then thou that sleepest and arise from the dead and Christ shall give thee life But know that if thou neglectest it and wilt put it off till to morrow know that there is no to morrow in all the Scripture 't is to day if thou wilt hear his voyce harden not thy heart and consider how nigh this day may be past and how nigh the night may be at hand wherein no man shall work The Lord speak so effectually to thy dry obdurate rocky heart that it may so hear as thy soul may live and that these words may prove a savour of death to all thy sins and of life unto thy poor soul. Death to all that are in Christ is a day of Harvest of reaping gatheting and gain it will be to him a day of Espousals she shall be marryed unto the fairest Bridegroome that ever was Absoloms beauty will be blacknesse and uncomlinesse to his to the richest that ever was Solomons riches will be but as Jobs poverty compared to his And to the most highest in honour that ever was being King of Kings and Lord of Lords to him all Kings shall fall and cast their Crowns at his feet Death to a true believer is the best of all things because it brings him to possesse all things yea to possesse Christ himself who is the giver of all things and much better then all things much by much A soul in Christ is alwayes ready to meet and imbrace death at midnight or mid-day at the Cock-crowing or any other time he hath his life as it were in his hand alwayes ready and willing to lay it down or give it up unto him that gave it him and redeemed it he accounts nothing his own but all Christs and that he hath all things both in Heaven and earth having him When Death is ready to carry us into the arms of Christ the Ark of our peace and rest then the Devil many times rageth most against us But Christ our Captain and deliverer who will save us to the utmost as the Lyon of the tribe of Judah roareth against him and forceth him to a treambling and yielding retreat But to Saints our Christ appears as a Lamb meek and pacified yea as the Lamb of God that taketh away all our sins that he may present us spotless and unblameable unto his Father that we may as Children and Co-heires with himself receive a Crown incorruptible and the inheritance prepared for us from all Eternity Death to us that are dead to sin and alive to Christ hath no sting and therefore cannot in the least do us any harm wherefore we cherish him and as a dear friend are glad to hear of him and to think often on him and when he comes we bid him most heartily welcome entertain him kindly and lodg him in our bosoms But to those that know not Christ his Master and have no interest in him nor his mark on their foreheads he comes in flames of fire and as a most cruel Executioner to execute on them the direful and eternal doom of God and so carries them post and headlong to Hell delivering them into the hands and power of their grand Enemie the Devil to be tormented in everlasting burning world without end or for ever and for ever Death Ah how comly art thou in the sight of all Gods children that art sent by him to bring them to see him their King Lord and Master that have so long desired to see this day and thy delightsome countenance thou art most welcome and dear as the most dearest brother come in thou messenget of the most highest I know what thou hast to say unto me thou bringest me the gladdest tidings that ever I heard I am ready to go with thee when thou wilt I shall be now soon brought to my long desired home to my everlasting habitation of repose and rest Now my Soul thou shalt be no longer perplext nor troubled all sighing for sin and fear of sinning shal flie away now is that blessed day come wherein thou shalt at once have all thy Prayers answered all thy desires petitions and suits granted and ten thousand times ten thousand more than ever thou didst ask or think now thou shalt sin grieve nor offend thy God no more but evermore serve honour obey and please him Now thou shalt see him who created thee God the Father him who redeemed thee Jesus Christ the Son and him who so often comforted thee and hath sanctified thee the Holy Ghost the blessed Spirit three in one and one in three which is a great misterie but most true Ah happy they unto whom it hath been manifestly manifested such have Eternal life and therefore fear not death But to the wicked that see and know themselves out of Christ death is to all such the King of terrors they dread and fear him more than all the Kings Tyrants Torments and Tormenttors in the World nay than the Devil himself for t is by death that they are sent or brought to keep company for ever one with another t is death carries them to that infernal habitation that throws them headlong into that Lake of fire and brimstone into that bottomlesse pit of black thick darknesse which may be felt that binds them in fetters so strong as none is able to deliver them and then flyes swifter than the wind from them resolving which they know never to return to deliver them and this latter woe for ever to abide so is the greatest of all this sinks their hearts and hopes into an everlasting despair which most of all makes death dreadful to them and they would much rather lye under the greatest rocks or mountains or be cast with a milstone about their necks into the bottom of the Sea But it cannot be death will execute his part of the doom pronounced against them by him that judgeth wisely righteously and justly and that spake as never man spake A Prayer MOst High most Holy Most Heavenly Eternal and Incomprehensible Glorrious Lord God the God and Father of all mercies and of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ I they poor and unworthy creature despicably poor blind and naked and out of Christ I confesse and acknowledge that I have nothing wherewith to cover my nakedness and deformity but unclean filthy raggs my own righteousness being unrighteousness my own obedience being disobedience my own worthiness being unworthiness so that all my all is even nothing at all and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing I see now and know my self to be a most miserable wretch the chiefest and the greatest of all sinners yea the very worst of the worst
of all the sons of Adam dry bones rottenness filthiness barrenness uncleanness naughtiness emptyness unsavoury salt a well without water a broken cistern that can hold no water impurity unholiness all evil and altogether all evil alwaies without and within in Spirit Soul and body all my thoughts words and actions and that continually I sincerely confess and proclaim unto thee O God and before Angles and men that there is nothing in me as I am in my self which doth or can deserve the least of all thy mercies not the least look of Love not the least smile nor glance of one of thine eies O Lord in favour nor to be admitted to look up to Heaven or call thee O God Father not to expect the least admittance into thy glorious presence Thou maiest O God thou maiest most justly reprove and reproach me openly and take all my Prayers Petitions and what else soever and as dung throw them in my face to my everlasting shame and confusion and to thine own honour glory and praise thy Judgment would be just right and good and all both good and bad must and would applaud thee for it and my own Soul and Conscience would say Amen thereunto for there is not one of thy Divine Commandments and most holy Laws but I have broken again and again wittingly willingly knowingly and presumptuously I have often cast thy precepts behind my back and trampled them under my feet I have often O God I confess I have often turned thy grace into wantonness quencht the sweet and blessed motions of thy Holy Spirit hated to be reformed chose the waies of Hell death and destruction for body and Soul and run knowingly and wilfully out af the waies of Heaven blisse and everlasting rest and happiness I would not that thou shouldest reign over me who art the Lord of Life and Glory I have profan'd thy house thy Sanctuary thine Ordinances thy Word and Sacraments thus even thus and a thousand times worse have I rebelliously and traitorously acted against thy Soveraignty and Power though I knew that thou wert Lord over all and above all even God blessed for ever and for ever by whom I did live move and had my being Ah Lord I know well that thou knowest all that I have ever done against thee or would have done I know well that nothing is or can be hid from thee thou seest into the dark corners and crannies of our hearts thoughts and affections thou knowest what I am and what I would be and how I should have thus continued unto my lives end hadst thou not in love and mercy puld me out of the everlasting burning as a brand out of the fire If thou hadst not O God come in to my help and succour the Devil had devoured me the Devil had destroyed me for ever and for ever for I was his captive his vassal his slave I did his will I obeyed his commands I did even run when he bid me go But ever praised be thy transcendent glorious name O God of all goodnesse and Father of Love mercy and compassion that wert pleased to make my calamity and extremity thine opportunity that then even then when thou sawest that all help out of thy self was in vain thou shouldest be pleased to come and succour me and set me free to break the fetters and chains by which I was led as a most miserable caitif and captive almost into Hell it self thou hast O God thou hast broken the snares and I am escaped thou hast delivered my Soul from death and my Songs shall be to praise thee whilst I live I will praise thee O Lord my deliverer and never keep silence rather would I that my tongue should cleave to the roof of my mouth than not declare the mercies and the loving kindnesse of thee my God to my poor soul and I trust as well as pray and beseech thee O my God and Father in Jesus Christ that thou wilt daily put new Songs of praise into my mouth and that thou wilt in some measure inable me to speak fitly worthily and opportunely of thy gratious dealings towards me that those that hear and know thee may with me labour to be more affected and delighted with thee and prize thee yet at a far higher prise and that other that hear and know thee not may so hear as that they may resolve to seek thee with us and may see thee to be the fairest of ten thousand yea the only fair lovely beautiful and desirable But O incomprehensible unconceivable unexpressible goodnesse love and bounty the Ocean and Fountain of all bliss blessedness and happiness how can I how shall I worm I nothing I speak of thee and of thy gratious dealings unto my poor Soul O the heighth depth length and bredth of thy Love it is as the Heavens for heighth as Hell for depth as Eternity for length and as from Everlasting to Everlasting for bredth nay all this is far short of it it is much more than all this by much for it is thy self O God thy only self thy very self that thou hast given me thy Kingdom and thy Glory and not only in Heaven hereafter but even now now hast thou done this for my poor unworthy Soul having often fed feasted and solaced my Soul with those ravishing joyes that thou hast laid up and prepared for those that unfaignedly love thee thou hast in thy goodness hounty and Love often caused me to tast of that hidden Manna that bread of Life and to drink of those Rivers of pleasures that flow from thine own right hand thou hast many times as it were carried my Soul into that mountain of happiness where I have seen thy glorious back parts thy gratious transcendent goodness and have beheld in the Spirit the Celestial Canaan the new Jerusalem the City of God even God in man communicating himself unto him for Christ the hope of glory is in us dwells in us and makes his abode there which is thy Tabernacle O God thou hast not only given him for us on the Cross but thou continually continuest to give him unto us to crucifie our sins and sinful lusts and affections in us to put them to death that he himself may live and reign and rule in us that we may be thine and thou ours Ah Lord God I praise thee thou hast often given me the seal of thy Love thy Holy Spirit witnessing assuring establishing and perswading my Soul heart and Conscience of the free full and gratious pardon of all my sins past present and to come Thou hast often O God I praise thee thus covered me thus spread the banners of thy Love over me thus made me sit under the shadow of thy branches thus feasted my Soul in thy banquetting house of Love rest peace and joy thus shewn me thy beauty and thy glory thus allured me and tied me fast unto thy self with the cords of thy Divine Love thus shewn me thy great
inspire and teach me to direct and instruct me by thy holy spirit that I may yet prize thee and praise thee for thy late great and sweet mercyes pouered and showred down so gratiously and plentiously into my heart and soul on my bed of sicknesse Ah how greatly hast thou been pleased to strengthen and comfort me and to make me to rejoyce in and over all my paines yea making the thoughts of death and that King of terrors to be pleasant and comely in my eyes Ah the Mountains of the Mountains the Floods Rivers Wells and Springs of true joy that thou hast been pleased O God in Jesus Christ by thy holy Spirit to Communicate unto my soul heart and Conscience feasting and filling me in the assurance of thy gratious and Divine love and the pardon of all my sins the Floods O God of thy most sweet and blessed presence have often covered me and swallowed up my soul into the Ocean of thy unexpressable and infinite goodness Thus even thus thou raisest up those that are fallen comfortest those that are afflicted healest those that are sick strengthenest those that are weak inrichest those that are poor cloathest those that are naked and settest poor Prisoners free that they may freely rejoyce in thee and this joy I am sure none can nor none shall take from me for being thus redeemed and made free by thee O Christ we are free indeed and shall with thee enjoy perfect freedome and Liberty And now O Lord God what shall I render unto thee for all thy many and special mercyes which thou hast been pleased so richly gratiously freely and plentifully to pour down upon my poor soul and body I have nothing to offer thee but what is already thine own all is thine O God I confess all mine is thine and I am thine give me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ who is worthy a heart according to thine own heart that I may walk worthily before thee all the remainder of my dayes not turning aside or going astray to the right hand of pleasures or the left hand of profits and that I may make it my daily food to keep thy holy Lawes yea my Heaven here on earth to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Let henceforth all my thoughts words and actions tend to honour and glorifie thee my good God and Heavenly Father making thine honour only my honour and thy glory my glory redeeming the fore past time of my life by an exact serious careful watchful and holy walking in thy most holy wayes and never be truly satisfied till thou hast alâ—ogether sanctified me in spirit soul and body so that I may alwayes see my self in thee and thee in me and know my self to be thine and thee to be mine Ah Lord thou knowest all my thoughts affections and desires yea my very heart what then shall I say unto thee make me I beseech thee such as thou would'st have me to be fit me for thy self and take me to thy self do for me what thou knowest to be best for me that I may glorifie thee not what I will but all that thou wilt both on soul and body that I may live that life and dye that death by which I may glorifie thee most is all and the only desires of my heart and soul so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen Ah Lord God that knowest all things thou knowest what is my end and ayme in publishing this thy work thine it is and I trust thou wilt own it and therefore I seek no other power to patronize or protect it and thou owning of it I care not who disown it thou esteeming of it I care not who dis-esteem it thou approving of it I care not who disapprove of it and that thou wilt do this and blesse it too unto the hearts of many O Lord I believe and therein rejoyce that it shall prove a Cordial to some and a Corrisive unto others a plaister of healing to some and a sharp Lance to make the wound deeper of others even as a savour of life to some and of death to others to cast down some and to raise up others ' to condemne some and to justifie others to give trouble to some and peace to others for some scoffing deriding Ishmaels rayling Shemeies sinful Critical censures I cannot but think it will meet within this sinful ignorant Nation and times because it hath not the false visage on which they prize that is the invention and flourishes of the brain of humane Wisdome for such Ah Lord it is not intended neither by thee I know nor by me so I shall not I trust care for or be a whit troubled at such Curs snarling or barking for power I know they shall not have to bite or hurt me But some true Nathaniels in whom there is neither gale not guile some spiritually wise unto Salvation that are able to judge of all things having that anointing in them that is truth and no lye and which teacheth and instructeth them in the truth many such I hope and trust it shall also meet with and for them and for them only it is I hope by thee O Lord my God intended and so thou knowest it is by me that they with me may together Laud and praise thee and give thee the honour due unto thy holy name for all thy gracious works of wonders wrought in and on my poor soul. I know O Lord that what thou hast thus in the abundance of thy mercies given me is not for my self alone neither may I monopolize it to my self hide away this my Talent in this my house of Clay not keep this Star or rather Sun-light from others but thou expectest and requirest I know well that as I have freely received so that I freely impart of it and give it as thine unto others that I should refresh them with the same refreshing wherewith thou hast refreshed my poor unworthy soul and comfort and make glad their hearts with the same comforts that thou hast made glad and comforted mine and give them to eat and drink of that true bread and water of life wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently fed feasted solaced and refreshed me and as it were inrich them with the true riches of saving knowledge to know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent which thou hast I praise thee in some measure caused me to know to my Everlasting comfort thus even thus I am sure O God is thy good will and pleasure that I Communicate and forget not what thou hast in so much love Communicated unto me impart unto them all that thou hast imparted unto me And I praise thy goodnesse O God for that thou hast given me a heart in some measure heartily to desire it and longingly and lovingly to imbrace with much comfort joy and content all occasions whatsoever to do it unto all without any respect of persons to the
poorest and meanest Creature according to the flesh as well as unto the highest in degree and honour among men and that their Conditions blessed be thy Name makes no condition with me for I account my self in very truth Servant and Debtor unto all both bond and free young and old and would with all my heart and soul do for any of them what thou requirest and Commandest yea me thinks I would give them what I have and be without it that they might have it I would be hungry and thirsty and poor and naked to feed refresh cloath and make rich their souls I would most sincerely and willingly that they had all of them a double Portion of the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit which thou hast given me to the end it might be well with them and they might doubly praise thee Ah Lord Stamp on their hearts the seal of thy Divine love hide them under thy most sacred and glorious pavilion that they may be kept safe from the evil day and from the evil one who continually seeketh to devout them swallow them up O Lord into thy self that they may be ever secure dart O God a beam of thy Divine love that by its reflection they may have love to love thee again as thou lovest them not as to measure or degree that I know well is in none either on earth or in Heaven nor cannot be the most blessed Saints Angels Arch Angels Cherubins and Seraphims were the love of all those lovely blessed and glorious Creatures emptied into one alone then even I know his would come short of thine of thy love O God to that Creature whom thou lovest in the least degree to Salvation for thy love is the love of a God who is love that would be but the love of a Creature thine would be from thy self alone that would be from thee and given by thee so that the love which in sincere love I thus in Jesus Christ begg of thee for them is that they may have true love for thee and thine continually that it may continue with them and in them unto the end till that thou shalt so fill them with that first choyce and chiefe grace that they all may be as thou art in a degree all love Ah Lord God confound I pray thee the wisdome of the wise I mean thou knowest the worldly wise bring down their pride and staine their glory such as will go about to condemne what they cannot mend and to marre what they cannot make turn O God their wisdome as thou did'st Achitophels into foolishnesse but preserve them unto the end from such a like end and open the eyes of their understanding that they may see and acknowledge the errors of their wayes and come speedily out of them and before ever converted unto thee that their souls may ever live with thee Ah Lord God what a most pittiful thing is it and of all things to be lamented with and in teares of blood that any poor soul should either live or die in sin that a soul which is of much more value then ten thousand worlds should be for ever lost and undone for such a base vile filthy thing as is sin the very excrements of naughtinesse and by which O God thou that art worthy of all honour art so much dishonoured and the Devil so much honoured Ah how is it to be pittyed and dolefully lamented that so many poor souls should believe lyes and the Father of lyes the Devil before thy word and thy self who art the God of all truth and love how great Ah how great was thy love O God to save poor lost sinners in sparing and giving thy own only dear and beloved Son to the most shameful and most painful death of the Cross to redeem them from sin death Hell and the Devil and hast thou not promised with him to give them all things And Ah how great was thy love O most sweet Jesus who did'st so willingly submit to thy Fathers will and for the glory which was set before thee for us sinners did'st chearfully endure the Cross and despise the shame aud so sits down at the right hand of thy Father to prepare there a place for us and by thy continual intercession to prepare us for that place and this thy sitting down in glory at his right hand shews plain that thou hast done all that is to be done that can be required all as thou said'st when thou gavest up the Ghost is surely finished our Redemption fully wrought and compleated thy Fathers wrath appeased and he well pleased Ah Christ with and in all humility of heart I speak it thou had'st this spirit in thee thou did'st even as it were thus complain ye will not come to me that ye may have life and did'st weep for and over Jerusalem because her day of salvation was past and thy holy spirit in the mouth of thy Prophet complaineth and as it were lamenteth their sad condition saying Ah why will you dye O House of Israel And further how often doth this thy gracious and blessed spirit O God leave as it were thy bosome and comes and sues and wooes us that he may sanctifie and make us chosen and fit Vessels for thy use Ah Lord thou knowest how often such like considerations have sadened my soul that thou who art the God of truth should'st be thought by so many as it were a lyer for thy Word is not believed by them but made as a thing of nought trampled under foot and cast behind the back and Drunkards Whoremongers and such vile persons words be received entertain'd taken up welcom'd and preferr'd before thee O God before thee and thy Word and all thy most gratious offers of grace Now if such by thy good and gratious Providence come to read these words or of that which thou hast made me to write I humbly pray thee in Jesus Christ thy Son to pity him and pardon him Ah fetch home O God all windering Prodigals that are in far Countrys that is far from thee feeding on Hogs and Harlots which is on their own fleshly Carnal Lusts and vile affect ions Ah Father I know thee to be full of love and compassion Ah be thou pleased to do for all such as thou hast done for me for such was my most miserable and woful condition But I praise thy glorious Name thou hast washt and cleansed and sanctified my soul. Ah be thou pleased to let them all tast of the same love and kindnesse let them drink all of the same Cup and eat of the same meat and be cloathed with the same Robes and have a like ring of Love put on their fingers Ah let them O Father Lord of Heaven and Earth be thus welcomed by the and owned by thee for thine own and adorn'd thus gratiously with thine own glory that thou mayest delight in them and they may make thee only all their joy delight and rejoycing Ah that the
Devil had fewer Servants and thou O God who art all goodnesse had'st more that he were cast of by all and thy grace and favour accepted off that he were disowned and thou O God for ever owned to be only worthy to be believed in feared loved prized magnified and praised let these and a thousand-fold more of thanksgiving honour and glory be given unto thy most sacred and most glorious Name who art God of Gods and Lord of Lords the very and only true God blessed for ever and for ever Thus even thus O Lord I have taken on me through the guidance of thy good spirit to chatter a little as a Crane or a Swallow and to speak unto thee and of thee with a stammering tongue thou knowest how far short scant it is to what I might would and me thinks could speak if thou would'st be pleased to inable me to declare and shew forth what thou hast in love and mercy stablisht and rooted within me But in my weaknesse and scantnesse I trust O Lord thou wilt be large and by and with my little speak much to their hearts souls and Consciences unto whom I can speak but to the hearing of the eare and though I had the tongue of an Angel yet my words could not be effectual Paul could speak but to Lydias's eare it was the sweet charming voyce of thy holy spirit that spake to her heart and begat in her holy and Heavenly affections Pauls planting and Apollo's watering without thy blessing would be in vaine all mans all is nothing at all but emptinesse it is only thou O God that mad'st the soul that only canst satisfie the soul and thou who only art above Conscience that canst quiet the Conscience that thou wilt thus graciously and powerfully work on others hearts and lives with this thy gracious work of grace with which thou hast so richly and plentiously wrought on mine and in me are my hopes desires and hearty humble and affectionate prayers and for this end and to bring glory to thy Eternrl most holy and most glorious name I send it forth under the shadow of thy wings to be protected Ah Lord hear me and graciously answer me and do for me and all thine much more abundantly then I or they can ask or think according to the greatnesse of thy goodnesse and the goodnesse of thy greatnesse and all I humbly beg ask and crave in the name and for the sake and worthinesse of Jesus Christ the Righteous thy dear Son and my dear Saviour and Redeemer for whom my soul doth and shall ever praise thee and to him with thine own sacred holy divine and glorious Majesty and blessed spirit be now and alwayes given by me and all thine as all due is and to none else honour glory power might dominion and thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen Amen so be it Lord so be it Amen and Amen IF then all this thou wilt receive Thou must thy self of all bereave Thou must thy self for ever loose If Christ thou wilt for ever choose And if this choyse thou here dost make Christ will thy soul never forsake For if thou dost to all sin dye Thou shalt with him live Eternally Where all his glory thou shalt see And live in him and he in thee Ye shall no more be two but one As is the Father and the Son Eke with the Holy Ghost all three Shall give themselves to live in thee Ah ' blessed gift and ' blessed life Where all is peace no war no strife Where time shall never wear away Where is no night but all is day Which day shall never have amend And all our work shall only tend To give God praise for all his love Who sits above all powers above Those three in one and one in three That blessed were are and shall be Beginning they had never none And therefore end shall not be known All time that 's past is with them present And that to come is never absent Therefore in them thou all shalt see That passed is and what 's to be Which shall thee fill with such great joy's That thou shalt still lift up thy voyce And with the Angels and blessed sing Praise to our God Praise to our King Let all praise honour and glory be given to God the God of all glory from whom I have received all that I have both to will and to do FINIS True love in loving God or loving God truely True love in loving ones self or loving ones self truly True love in loving ones Neighbours or loving ones Neighbours truly False love to God or loving God falsely False love to ones self or loving ones self falsely False love to our Neighbour or loving our Neighbour falsely Prov. 30. 6. Add thou not unto his words lest he reprove thee thou be found a lyar See here the uglinesse basenesse and vilenesse of sin A spiritual soul Looking-glass or a glass to see the soul whether it be Spiritual or Carnal See here in some little measure what heaven is and what hell is Gal. 3 27.