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thy_o short_a desire_n give_v in_o large_a answer_n together_o with_o seasonable_a refreshment_n to_o my_o poor_a droop_a spirit_n from_o the_o word_n that_o our_o brother_n mor_o speak_v out_o of_o the_o 40._o psal_n but_o i_o be_o poor_a and_o weak_a yet_o the_o lord_n think_v on_o i_o which_o poverty_n arise_v from_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n and_o corruption_n yet_o the_o lord_n think_v on_o i_o whereupon_o he_o put_v we_o upon_o this_o thought_n what_o if_o all_o other_o slight_a and_o disregard_n a_o poor_a soul_n if_o the_o lord_n think_v upon_o it_o be_v it_o not_o better_a to_o be_v in_o the_o thought_n of_o god_n then_o of_o the_o great_a in_o the_o world_n together_o with_o many_o other_o precious_a and_o seasonable_a hint_n to_o my_o soul_n the_o 8._o of_o this_o 9_o month_n o_o my_o soul_n how_o unexpected_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o prevent_v thou_o with_o his_o love_a kindness_n and_o grace_n thou_o have_v be_v very_o ill_a all_o night_n with_o a_o extreme_a cold_a not_o think_v i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o go_v in_o the_o morning_n to_o fulham_n yet_o at_o last_o overcome_v with_o desire_n to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n and_o cast_v and_o roll_n myself_o upon_o he_o and_o how_o glorious_o do_v he_o appear_v to_o my_o soul_n and_o what_o a_o seasonable_a word_n be_v hint_v out_o this_o day_n to_o i_o by_o our_o dear_a brother_n the_o 25_o of_o this_o month_n at_o evening_n as_o also_o the_o 26._o day_n in_o the_o morning_n be_v the_o lord_n day_n find_v my_o heart_n exceed_v dead_a and_o dull_a and_o altogether_o unfit_a to_o meet_v the_o lord_n as_o also_o great_o oppress_v at_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o prevalencie_n of_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n over_o i_o almost_o continual_o which_o occasion_v my_o soul_n to_o pour_v out_o its_o self_n great_o before_o the_o lord_n in_o sundry_a &_o various_a petition_n relate_v to_o my_o present_a condition_n as_o also_o great_o beg_v his_o presence_n both_o in_o the_o prepare_v my_o heart_n to_o meet_v with_o he_o and_o in_o fit_v some_o bless_a word_n wherein_o he_o may_v meet_v my_o poor_a soul_n with_o many_o request_n to_o this_o purpose_n too_o large_a to_o relate_v and_o both_o touch_v my_o own_o soul_n and_o also_o his_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o speak_v that_o day_n and_o behold_v how_o glorious_o o_o my_o soul_n do_v the_o lord_n appear_v through_o his_o servant_n our_o dear_a pastor_n who_o speak_v from_o the_o 45._o psal_n thy_o throne_n o_o god_n be_v for_o ever_o and_o ever_o the_o sceptre_n of_o thy_o kingdom_n be_v a_o right_a sceptre_n where_o he_o show_v we_o that_o christ_n sceptre_n by_o which_o he_o rule_v and_o order_n all_o his_o affair_n in_o the_o world_n and_o in_o his_o church_n be_v a_o right_a sceptre_n and_o that_o all_o his_o administration_n be_v manage_v by_o a_o right_n straight_a line_n for_o the_o glory_n of_o his_o father_n and_o the_o good_a of_o his_o poor_a creature_n and_o that_o how_o ever_o through_o the_o darkness_n of_o our_o heart_n and_o our_o unpeliefe_n we_o can_v not_o see_v the_o straightness_n of_o all_o christ_n administration_n yet_o that_o they_o be_v so_o however_o for_o god_n the_o father_n who_o best_o know_v they_o say_v so_o of_o they_o show_v we_o also_o that_o however_o saint_n be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o there_o be_v none_o in_o such_o a_o sad_a condition_n as_o they_o so_o tempt_v and_o so_o overcome_v by_o corruption_n and_o vain_a thought_n and_o the_o like_a and_o if_o christ_n do_v indeed_o reign_v in_o they_o and_o over_o they_o and_o his_o sceptre_n thus_o right_o why_o be_v it_o then_o thus_o with_o they_o in_o answer_v to_o which_o he_o show_v we_o that_o christ_n sceptre_n be_v right_o still_o because_o his_o design_n be_v through_o all_o this_o to_o raise_v up_o his_o own_o and_o his_o father_n glory_n as_o his_o skill_n appear_v most_o that_o make_v a_o glorious_a piece_n out_o of_o a_o crooked_a thing_n so_o christ_n have_v some_o eminence_n of_o glory_n by_o work_v through_o all_o our_o affliction_n and_o temptation_n to_o magnify_v his_o grace_n and_o mercy_n towards_o such_o as_o we_o be_v yea_o to_o do_v we_o good_a through_o all_o now_o dear_a father_n have_v not_o thy_o rich_a grace_n shine_v glorious_o in_o this_o condescension_n to_o such_o a_o poor_a worthless_a wretch_n as_o i_o be_o this_o day_n also_o do_v the_o lord_n call_v we_o see_v his_o throne_n and_o kingdom_n be_v for_o ever_o and_o ever_o to_o look_v after_o everlasting_a thing_n a_o secret_a check_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o it_o so_o eager_o pursue_v after_o fade_a die_a thing_n yea_o if_o christ_n kingdom_n be_v everlasting_a so_o also_o be_v
to_o which_o i_o have_v a_o great_a desire_n to_o go_v which_o according_o i_o do_v though_o with_o some_o outward_a inconvenience_n and_o bodily_a danger_n desire_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o as_o he_o have_v begin_v in_o some_o good_a measure_n to_o shine_v in_o upon_o my_o heart_n this_o week_n so_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o make_v this_o bless_a opportunity_n let_v my_o soul_n have_v a_o sight_n of_o himself_o through_o that_o word_n that_o shall_v be_v hold_v out_o to_o i_o thus_o wait_v and_o depend_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n through_o this_o instrument_n of_o he_o i_o go_v to_o london_n at_o which_o time_n mr._n simpson_n contrary_a to_o the_o expectation_n of_o most_o of_o his_o hearer_n and_o as_o i_o be_v tell_v to_o his_o own_o intention_n the_o week_n before_o have_v his_o eye_n and_o meditation_n turn_v and_o fix_v upon_o that_o grand_a promise_n in_o gen._n 3._o 15._o which_o i_o do_v not_o know_v but_o that_o i_o may_v look_v upon_o as_o a_o special_a providence_n in_o which_o the_o lord_n may_v aim_v even_o at_o the_o establishment_n of_o my_o poor_a and_o unsettle_a spirit_n which_o but_o the_o week_n before_o be_v exceed_o cast_v down_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o i_o conceive_v much_o disappoint_v my_o expectation_n even_o of_o his_o own_o appearance_n in_o the_o entrance_n upon_o which_o scripture_n and_o open_n of_o it_o he_o show_v we_o that_o these_o word_n in_o gen._n 3._o be_v speak_v and_o denounce_v as_o a_o severe_a threaten_n to_o the_o devil_n and_o not_o at_o all_o speak_v either_o to_o the_o man_n or_o to_o the_o woman_n yet_o do_v they_o contain_v in_o they_o a_o most_o bless_a promise_n yea_o all_o the_o promise_n which_o the_o lord_n leave_v both_o for_o adam_n and_o eve_n to_o lay_v hold_n upon_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o which_o he_o take_v occasion_n to_o provoke_v we_o to_o lay_v hold_n upon_o all_o the_o hint_n of_o god_n and_o to_o let_v none_o of_o they_o slip_v in_o any_o dispensation_n of_o he_o to_o we_o yea_o to_o take_v notice_n of_o every_o word_n of_o promise_n or_o comfort_n that_o god_n hold_v out_o though_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o severe_a threaten_n as_o this_o here_o be_v in_o the_o further_a prosecution_n of_o which_o he_o put_v we_o upon_o such_o thought_n as_o these_o that_o that_o soul_n which_o be_v indeed_o make_v to_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o jesus_n christ_n will_v be_v ready_a to_o snatch_v &_o catch_v at_o the_o least_o crumb_n of_o mercy_n yea_o be_v the_o soul_n indeed_o find_v of_o christ_n it_o will_v be_v ready_a to_o believe_v upon_o very_o small_a ground_n there_o be_v also_o at_o this_o time_n that_o scripture_n cite_v by_o he_o which_o we_o find_v record_v in_o esai_n 50._o at_o the_o beginning_n where_o the_o lord_n as_o he_o show_v we_o seem_v to_o be_v very_o angry_a with_o that_o people_n who_o though_o they_o have_v play_v the_o harlot_n and_o therefore_o deserve_v just_o to_o be_v put_v away_o yet_o be_v the_o lord_n wrath_n with_o they_o because_o they_o say_v he_o have_v put_v they_o away_o when_o as_o yet_o he_o have_v not_o and_o therefore_o demand_v of_o they_o where_o their_o bill_n of_o divorce_n be_v which_o together_o with_o several_a other_o precious_a truth_n then_o hint_v to_o we_o take_v very_o much_o on_o my_o heart_n and_o great_o refresh_v it_o even_o upon_o after_o review_v also_o but_o to_o all_o this_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o add_v one_o bless_a opportunity_n more_o that_o week_n wherein_o he_o speak_v abundant_o and_o i_o hope_v effectual_o to_o my_o heart_n by_o that_o servant_n of_o his_o mr._n knight_n at_o that_o lecture_n at_o the_o chapel_n at_o fulham_n the_o very_a next_o morning_n be_v the_o four_o day_n of_o the_o week_n send_v his_o servant_n as_o it_o be_v on_o purpose_n to_o speak_v to_o i_o in_o particular_a and_o to_o open_v unfold_v and_o expound_v all_o those_o gracious_a visit_n of_o christ_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n when_o it_o sit_v even_o in_o the_o valley_n and_o shadow_n of_o death_n shut_v up_o as_o it_o be_v in_o darkness_n and_o in_o a_o estate_n of_o nature_n show_v i_o how_o the_o lord_n even_o then_o come_v in_o with_o light_n and_o life_n to_o i_o as_o also_o when_o i_o be_v under_o dark_a affliction_n and_o sad_a apprehension_n of_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n from_o whence_o i_o conceive_v they_o to_o proceed_v in_o which_o estate_n also_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v sweet_o to_o visit_v my_o soul_n as_o also_o when_o i_o lie_v under_o darkness_n of_o unbeleese_n be_v full_a of_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o jealousy_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n at_o this_o season_n and_o from_o this_o scripture_n luk._n 1._o 78_o 79_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o unfold_v my_o soul_n that_o which_o i_o never_o have_v such_o a_o sight_n of_o how_o he_o have_v indeed_o visit_v my_o soul_n in_o all_o these_o estate_n as_o also_o what_o the_o issue_n of_o these_o his_o visitation_n be_v how_o he_o come_v in_o with_o light_n and_o life_n in_o all_o these_o condition_n which_o the_o lord_n now_o be_v please_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n to_o see_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o swallow_v up_o in_o the_o apprehension_n of_o it_o not_o know_v how_o to_o bless_v and_o praise_v his_o name_n sufficient_o for_o these_o his_o appearance_n thus_o do_v the_o lord_n follow_v on_o with_o one_o mercy_n and_o discovery_n upon_o the_o neck_n of_o another_o which_o all_o depend_v upon_o and_o as_o it_o be_v open_v one_o another_o for_o this_o last_o day_n do_v the_o lord_n discover_v in_o particular_a to_o my_o soul_n what_o those_o hint_n and_o gracious_a visitation_n on_o my_o soul_n wherein_o all_o these_o condition_n which_o the_o day_n before_o he_o teach_v i_o i_o be_v to_o take_v such_o special_a notice_n of_o in_o the_o remain_a part_n part_n also_o of_o the_o week_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o go_v on_o to_o settle_v and_o far_o open_v these_o truth_n and_o give_v i_o to_o see_v his_o mighty_a hand_n and_o outstretch_a arm_n all_o along_o in_o it_o the_o next_o lord_n day_n be_v the_o nine_o of_o this_o eleven_o month_n 1652._o the_o lord_n be_v please_v also_o to_o come_v in_o through_o that_o ministry_n he_o have_v place_v we_o under_o at_o fulham_n with_o a_o seasonable_a word_n to_o back_o all_o this_o which_o be_v speak_v by_o our_o pastor_n mr._n knight_n from_o heb._n 2._o 2._o that_o the_o word_n of_o god_n they_o be_v steadfast_a word_n abide_v word_n word_n that_o shall_v certain_o abide_v and_o be_v accomplish_v in_o their_o season_n thus_o in_o these_o eight_o day_n now_o last_v past_a have_v the_o lord_n through_z and_o by_o his_o word_n and_o spirit_n be_v please_v to_o give_v into_o my_o soul_n a_o discovery_n of_o his_o gracious_a visitation_n of_o i_o for_o 〈◊〉_d many_o year_n past_a and_o true_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v much_o rob_v the_o lord_n of_o his_o glory_n if_o i_o shall_v not_o acknowledge_v he_o a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n who_o be_v please_v even_o at_o this_o time_n in_o my_o apprehension_n so_o eminent_o to_o appear_v that_o i_o be_v constrain_v in_o spirit_n to_o acknowledge_v it_o and_o do_v and_o do_v desire_v that_o he_o may_v have_v the_o glory_n of_o it_o the_o lord_n have_v of_o late_a thus_o begin_v to_o manifest_v his_o love_a kindness_n to_o my_o soul_n there_o be_v at_o this_o time_n from_o rom._n 13._o 11._o this_o truth_n set_v home_o mighty_o upon_o my_o heart_n that_o this_o time_n of_o god_n appearance_n in_o way_n of_o love_n and_o mercy_n etc._n etc._n be_v the_o only_a bless_a time_n in_o the_o world_n to_o that_o soul_n to_o who_o he_o thus_o appear_v and_o a_o time_n which_o shall_v of_o all_o time_n in_o the_o world_n be_v take_v special_a notice_n of_o and_o careful_o improve_v from_o whence_o i_o have_v further_o many_o seasonable_a instruction_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v walk_v in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n countenance_n while_o i_o enjoy_v it_o yea_o and_o work_v in_o it_o while_o i_o have_v it_o before_o or_o lest_o darkness_n come_v joh._n 12._o 35_o 36._o &_o joh._n 9_o 4._o yea_o to_o do_v good_a in_o this_o time_n and_o opportunity_n while_o god_n thus_o shine_v upon_o the_o heart_n gal._n 6._o 10._o yea_o and_o to_o improve_v it_o to_o this_o end_n to_o lay_v up_o in_o store_n a_o good_a foundation_n for_o time_n to_o come_v even_o as_o man_n do_v in_o their_o trade_n in_o the_o matter_n of_o this_o world_n 1_o tim._n 6._o 17_o 18_o 19_o yea_o to_o redeem_v this_o time_n ephes_n 5._o 16._o to_o think_v nothing_o too_o much_o to_o buy_v it_o out_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o huckster_n out_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o all_o other_o business_n what_o ever_o in_o this_o world_n and_o
here_o i_o must_v needs_o say_v that_o though_o our_o pastor_n speak_v much_o to_o this_o purpose_n and_o that_o sweet_o a_o while_n since_o from_o 2_o cor._n 6._o 2._o behold_v now_o be_v the_o acceptable_a time_n behold_v now_o be_v the_o day_n of_o salvation_n yet_o do_v it_o not_o take_v upon_o my_o heart_n in_o that_o way_n as_o these_o few_o hint_n do_v for_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o then_o appear_v to_o my_o soul_n in_o those_o manifestation_n of_o love_n as_o he_o do_v afterward_o and_o how_o ever_o these_o scripture_n do_v chief_o refer_v as_o i_o conceive_v to_o the_o time_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o god_n love_v to_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n in_o bring_v of_o they_o home_o to_o himself_o yet_o that_o truth_n which_o be_v at_o this_o time_n chief_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n be_v from_o the_o consideration_n of_o this_o present_a hint_n of_o time_n wherein_o the_o lord_n through_o his_o rich_a grace_n in_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n have_v be_v please_v to_o cause_v his_o face_n to_o shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n the_o very_a next_o day_n be_v the_o 13_o of_o this_o month_n in_o the_o morning_n when_o i_o be_v awake_v as_o i_o lie_v in_o my_o bed_n i_o have_v that_o scripture_n in_o luk._n 13._o 11._o bring_v fresh_a to_o my_o mind_n of_o that_o woman_n who_o satan_n have_v bow_v these_o eighteen_o year_n vers_fw-la 16._o who_o christ_n loose_v with_o a_o persuasion_n before_o ever_o i_o begin_v to_o count_v it_o that_o the_o time_n of_o my_o thraldom_n under_o satan_n and_o sin_n will_v run_v parallel_n with_o this_o as_o also_o my_o condition_n for_o say_v the_o text_n she_o have_v a_o spirit_n of_o infirmity_n and_o be_v bow_v together_o so_o as_o she_o can_v in_o no_o wise_a lift_n up_o herself_o and_o true_o thus_o i_o find_v it_o have_v be_v with_o i_o for_o many_o year_n i_o have_v be_v bind_v by_o satan_n under_o unbelief_n and_o the_o corruption_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n and_o so_o bow_v together_o as_o i_o can_v in_o no_o wise_a lift_n up_o myself_o so_o as_o to_o give_v glory_n to_o god_n by_o believe_v and_o as_o for_o the_o time_n when_o i_o come_v to_o count_v it_o from_o the_o first_o time_n that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o touch_v my_o heart_n with_o a_o sight_n and_o sense_n of_o my_o wretched_a condition_n and_o thereupon_o to_o occasion_v much_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n which_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v about_o the_o year_n 1635._o which_o reckon_v until_o the_o end_n of_o the_o year_n 1652_o which_o be_v the_o first_o time_n that_o ever_o the_o lord_n do_v upon_o real_a solid_a ground_n speak_v any_o abide_a word_n of_o comfort_n to_o i_o and_o so_o in_o any_o measure_n lose_v i_o from_o those_o band_n and_o i_o do_v find_v it_o to_o be_v just_a 18_o year_n this_o same_o morning_n also_o a_o little_a while_n after_o there_o fall_v a_o other_o scripture_n upon_o my_o heart_n which_o i_o find_v record_v in_o psal_n 129._o 1_o 2._o many_o a_o time_n have_v they_o afflict_v i_o from_o my_o youth_n may_v i_o srael_v now_o say_v many_o a_o time_n have_v they_o affict_v i_o from_o my_o youth_n yet_o have_v they_o not_o prevail_v against_o i_o and_o have_v it_o not_o be_v thus_o with_o my_o soul_n many_o a_o time_n have_v it_o be_v afflict_a with_o temptation_n and_o corruption_n but_o through_o mercy_n they_o have_v not_o yet_o total_o prevail_v over_o i_o there_o be_v also_o two_o other_o scripture_n immediate_o after_o this_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n this_o morning_n as_o first_o that_o in_o psal_n 34._o 6._o this_o poor_a man_n cry_v and_o the_o lord_n hear_v he_o and_o save_v he_o out_o of_o all_o his_o trouble_n even_o so_o this_o poor_a soul_n of_o i_o have_v cry_v unto_o the_o lord_n in_o my_o fear_n and_o he_o have_v bless_v be_v his_o name_n hear_v i_o and_o gracious_o deliver_v i_o out_o of_o all_o the_o fear_n and_o trouble_n that_o ever_o yet_o lay_v upon_o i_o and_o to_o back_o this_o for_o the_o future_a there_o be_v immediate_o that_o scripture_n bring_v to_o my_o mind_n in_o joh._n 5._o 19_o he_o shall_v deliver_v thou_o in_o six_o trouble_n yea_o in_o seven_o there_o shall_v no_o evil_n touch_v thou_o the_o meditation_n whereof_o be_v exceed_v sweet_a to_o my_o soul_n but_o whilst_o my_o soul_n lie_v under_o these_o enjoyment_n from_o the_o lord_n which_o for_o a_o time_n even_o swallow_v up_o my_o heart_n in_o the_o admiration_n of_o he_o yet_o notwithstanding_o sudden_o after_o find_v my_o heart_n exceed_o straighten_v to_o bliss_n and_o praise_v the_o name_n of_o this_o my_o god_n in_o such_o a_o manner_n and_o measure_n as_o my_o soul_n desire_v for_o all_o these_o wonderful_a appearance_n to_o i_o i_o have_v this_o persuasion_n strong_o dart_v into_o i_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v some_o sharp_a affliction_n sudden_o to_o lay_v upon_o i_o which_o i_o be_v full_o possess_v with_o expectation_n of_o which_o cause_v i_o to_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o the_o lord_n beseech_v he_o to_o fit_v i_o for_o it_o and_o sanctify_v it_o unto_o i_o what_o ever_o it_o shall_v be_v not_o know_v in_o what_o way_n or_o manner_n for_o to_o expect_v it_o apprehend_v it_o to_o be_v some_o sore_a stroke_n than_o a_o little_a bodily_a affliction_n and_o because_o i_o apprehend_v that_o the_o sad_a outward_a affliction_n that_o can_v come_v to_o i_o be_v the_o part_n with_o my_o dear_a mother_n i_o do_v therefore_o straightway_o apprehend_v this_o will_v be_v the_o trial_n at_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o i_o be_v at_o the_o present_a somewhat_o startle_v but_o within_o a_o few_o day_n on_o the_o 23_o of_o this_o eleven_o month_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o visit_v my_o poor_a body_n with_o much_o bodily_a distemper_n which_o seize_v so_o upon_o my_o vital_a spirit_n and_o so_o overpoured_n they_o which_o together_o with_o other_o distemper_n lay_v somewhat_o heavy_a upon_o the_o flesh_n in_o and_o under_o which_o if_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n the_o great_a part_n of_o my_o trouble_n be_v that_o i_o can_v not_o find_v out_o what_o the_o mind_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v in_o it_o in_o which_o inquiry_n there_o be_v some_o thing_n the_o which_o be_v then_o present_v to_o i_o as_o the_o ground_n of_o it_o as_o for_o instance_n the_o first_o thing_n that_o be_v dart_v into_o i_o be_v that_o the_o lord_n do_v it_o to_o put_v a_o stop_n to_o i_o in_o this_o very_a act_n of_o record_v the_o love_n of_o the_o lord_n to_o my_o soul_n who_o have_v carry_v i_o as_o upon_o eagle_n wing_n and_o as_o it_o be_v set_v i_o aloft_o exod._n 19_o 4._o so_o as_o no_o affliction_n or_o dispensation_n have_v be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v but_o have_v bear_v yea_o forbear_v i_o and_o carry_v i_o all_o the_o day_n of_o old_a as_o he_o do_v his_o people_n israel_n notwithstanding_o all_o my_o rebellion_n esa_n 63._o 9_o 10_o 12_o 15_o 16._o and_o this_o suggestion_n for_o aught_o i_o know_v may_v come_v even_o from_o satan_n himself_o though_o i_o confess_v it_o be_v present_v upon_o a_o very_a fair_a account_n insinuate_v into_o i_o that_o it_o be_v out_o of_o the_o pride_n of_o my_o spirit_n which_o put_v i_o upon_o this_o action_n which_o cause_v my_o soul_n to_o make_v its_o address_n to_o the_o lord_n beseech_v he_o to_o search_v i_o and_o try_v my_o heart_n and_o my_o reins_n and_o withal_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o if_o there_o be_v any_o such_o corruption_n in_o the_o bottom_n which_o be_v not_o yet_o discover_v to_o i_o that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o reveal_v it_o and_o so_o put_v a_o stop_n to_o i_o in_o any_o act_n whatsoever_o upon_o any_o such_o account_n and_o though_o upon_o the_o strict_a search_n and_o inquiry_n that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o make_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o can_v find_v little_a ground_n why_o i_o shall_v altogether_o conclude_v with_o satan_n in_o this_o yet_o the_o very_a fear_n of_o it_o do_v for_o the_o space_n of_o half_a a_o year_n at_o least_o if_o i_o mistake_v not_o cause_v this_o work_n to_o cease_v until_o it_o be_v again_o set_v with_o some_o weight_n upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o that_o which_o may_v make_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o my_o lord_n and_o perhaps_o though_o weak_o stammer_v out_o his_o praise_n when_o i_o shall_v be_v gather_v into_o into_o my_o dust_n who_o be_v so_o unable_a to_o speak_v it_o out_o in_o my_o life_n and_o this_o i_o both_o do_v and_o do_v the_o rather_o believe_v to_o proceed_v from_o satan_n the_o great_a enemy_n of_o soul_n because_o i_o find_v the_o saint_n through_o the_o scripture_n so_o ready_a to_o declare_v what_o great_a thing_n the_o lord_n have_v do_v for_o their_o soul_n psal_n 34._o 2._o
commander_n isai_n 55._o 4._o oh_o behold_v he_o as_o sâ—…h_v a_o one_o behold_v he_o above_o all_o not_o only_o to_o help_v at_o a_o dead_a lift_n when_o your_o own_o righteousness_n can_v do_v it_o but_o behold_v he_o above_o all_o as_o the_o only_a governor_n of_o your_o soul_n look_v on_o he_o with_o a_o eye_n of_o dependence_n wait_v for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o his_o work_n in_o your_o soul_n and_o mourn_v to_o think_v that_o though_o he_o be_v give_v to_o govern_v you_o that_o you_o shall_v be_v govern_v of_o yourselves_o without_o he_o and_o so_o grieve_v he_o and_o if_o christ_n be_v appoint_v by_o the_o father_n to_o govern_v the_o gentile_n then_o ask_v your_o own_o heart_n who_o govern_v you_o who_o law_n do_v you_o obey_v what_o rule_n do_v you_o walk_v by_o what_o end_n do_v you_o aim_v at_o and_o true_o upon_o examination_n find_v that_o christ_n of_o his_o own_o rich_a grace_n have_v be_v thus_o at_o work_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o this_o whole_a discourse_v be_v as_o it_o be_v but_o a_o declaration_n of_o his_o deal_n with_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o can_v not_o pass_v by_o without_o set_v down_o and_o put_v it_o upon_o record_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o even_o as_o if_o the_o lord_n have_v speak_v from_o heaven_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o particular_a therefore_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v much_o dishonour_v he_o if_o i_o shall_v not_o to_o his_o praise_n in_o the_o desire_n of_o my_o soul_n acknowledge_v that_o every_o one_o of_o these_o mark_n of_o christ_n have_v be_v in_o some_o measure_n some_o more_o some_o less_o through_o grace_n wrought_v by_o he_o in_o my_o heart_n though_o i_o must_v still_o acknowledge_v that_o there_o be_v too_o much_o opposition_n against_o he_o in_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v and_o do_v expect_v according_a as_o have_v be_v express_v the_o utter_a subdue_a thereof_o which_o time_n i_o hope_v haste_v when_o christ_n will_v come_v &_o take_v up_o full_a possession_n of_o my_o soul_n &_o rule_v in_o it_o and_o over_o it_o for_o ever_o the_o same_o day_n in_o the_o close_a of_o it_o mr._n knight_n spend_v a_o little_a time_n upon_o esay_n 65._o 24._o from_o which_o there_o be_v also_o many_o gracious_a discovery_n hint_v out_o to_o my_o soul_n concern_v god_n readiness_n to_o hear_v before_o his_o people_n call_v where_o he_o put_v we_o upon_o warchfulness_n what_o work_n christ_n be_v about_o in_o the_o nation_n which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o make_v as_o a_o spur_n to_o my_o dull_a spirit_n to_o look_v out_o what_o that_o work_n be_v that_o god_n be_v now_o do_v or_o about_o to_o do_v in_o my_o heart_n even_o i_o hope_v fit_v of_o i_o for_o a_o more_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o himself_o then_o do_v the_o lord_n also_o by_o his_o servant_n declare_v out_o to_o we_o in_o these_o latter_a day_n these_o gospel_n time_n wherein_o god_n hasten_v his_o work_n which_o thorough_o i_o find_v to_o be_v make_v good_a to_o my_o poor_a soul_n the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v exceed_o to_o hasten_v his_o work_n upon_o my_o heart_n and_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o bless_a face_n to_o my_o soul_n even_o fast_o than_o my_o scant_a heart_n can_v imagine_v which_o appearance_n of_o this_o in_o his_o manner_n cause_v my_o soul_n to_o enter_v into_o these_o serious_a thought_n and_o consideration_n whether_o i_o may_v not_o hence_o argue_v that_o sure_a the_o lord_n be_v nigh_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o it_o by_o put_v a_o end_n to_o to_o the_o sinful_a day_n of_o my_o pilgrimage_n here_o below_o yea_o here_o do_v the_o lord_n show_v i_o that_o whatever_o it_o be_v that_o lie_v in_o the_o way_n when_o he_o come_v to_o do_v this_o great_a work_n he_o will_v remove_v or_o down_o with_o it_o and_o true_o this_o i_o see_v through_o grace_n to_o be_v his_o manner_n of_o deal_n with_o my_o soul_n be_v it_o my_o own_o righteousness_n be_v it_o mere_a relation_n on_o who_o i_o too_o much_o lean_v and_o conceive_v my_o happiness_n to_o lie_v much_o in_o be_v it_o what_o it_o will_v christ_n will_v remove_v it_o when_o he_o come_v to_o do_v his_o great_a work_n therefore_o as_o i_o be_v then_o teach_v i_o ought_v to_o rely_v still_o upon_o christ_n readiness_n which_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v there_o be_v also_o hint_v to_o we_o that_o nothing_o be_v satisfactory_a to_o the_o saint_n call_v but_o god_n answer_n where_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o convince_v my_o soul_n of_o the_o evil_a that_o i_o have_v so_o long_o be_v guilty_a of_o that_o i_o still_o pour_v out_o my_o prayer_n before_o the_o lord_n but_o never_o regard_v any_o answer_n conclude_v that_o god_n will_v never_o answer_v they_o and_o true_o now_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v a_o great_a sin_n in_o i_o to_o content_v myself_o in_o pour_v out_o my_o desire_n and_o never_o look_v after_o the_o return_n of_o they_o until_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sudden_o and_o in_o a_o unexpected_a manner_n and_o measure_n as_o he_o have_v promise_v to_o come_v in_o with_o a_o answer_n to_o my_o soul_n even_o before_o i_o think_v of_o it_o or_o expect_v it_o though_o i_o have_v often_o beg_v it_o of_o the_o lord_n another_o thing_n be_v then_o hint_v to_o my_o soul_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o much_o experience_n of_o to_o wit_n what_o a_o bless_a thing_n it_o be_v and_o comfortable_a to_o the_o soul_n to_o have_v mercy_n come_v in_o as_o a_o answer_n to_o prayer_n which_o be_v that_o which_o make_v they_o sweet_a indeed_o to_o that_o soul_n that_o enjoy_v they_o there_o be_v also_o at_o this_o bless_a season_n that_o objection_n answer_v that_o the_o saint_n often_o pray_v and_o yet_o god_n do_v not_o answer_v show_v first_o that_o many_o time_n they_o do_v not_o well_o understand_v god_n answer_n but_o his_o answer_n be_v very_o full_a though_o they_o understand_v they_o not_o second_o yea_o sometime_o he_o answer_v by_o converse_v with_o the_o soul_n at_o that_o time_n admit_v they_o into_o his_o presence_n with_o that_o freedom_n three_o by_o give_v of_o they_o strength_n of_o grace_n for_o the_o attendance_n and_o wait_v upon_o he_o four_o sometime_o by_o awaken_n of_o the_o soul_n by_o a_o due_a prize_v of_o the_o mercy_n beg_v five_o sometime_o by_o give_v in_o of_o mercy_n that_o be_v not_o in_o the_o same_o kind_a the_o soul_n will_v have_v they_o every_o of_o which_o way_n i_o now_o see_v the_o lord_n have_v answer_v those_o prayer_n which_o former_o i_o think_v have_v be_v cover_v with_o a_o cloud_n from_o all_o which_o do_v the_o lord_n stir_v up_o my_o soul_n to_o a_o quick_a lively_a diligent_a search_n into_o the_o answer_n of_o prayer_n that_o have_v be_v put_v up_o to_o the_o lord_n by_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o many_o year_n pass_v to_o this_o day_n in_o the_o search_n of_o which_o i_o find_v many_o rich_a answer_n that_o i_o have_v long_o rob_v the_o lord_n of_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o nine_o of_o march_n do_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o send_v that_o servant_n of_o his_o mr._n marshal_n to_o the_o chapel_n at_o fulham_n who_o do_v from_o the_o lord_n declare_v a_o most_o gracious_a and_o comfortable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n which_o the_o lord_n please_v to_o bless_v to_o i_o and_o may_v be_v ground_n for_o my_o faith_n while_o i_o have_v a_o day_n to_o live_v in_o this_o sinful_a world_n that_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o hint_n from_o he_o 1_o ephes_n 22_o 23._o from_o which_o he_o take_v occasion_n to_o show_v we_o that_o christ_n do_v stand_v in_o that_o relation_n to_o all_o his_o saint_n as_o the_o natural_a head_n do_v to_o the_o natural_a body_n and_o that_o therefore_o as_o in_o the_o natural_a body_n all_o those_o perfection_n that_o be_v in_o the_o head_n be_v in_o it_o for_o the_o good_a and_o use_n of_o the_o whole_a body_n and_o that_o if_o every_o limb_n and_o joint_n if_o it_o can_v speak_v it_o may_v say_v i_o be_o at_o ease_n i_o can_v see_v taste_n smell_v and_o the_o like_a therefore_o all_o these_o perfection_n in_o christ_n the_o head_n be_v in_o he_o for_o the_o good_a and_o use_n of_o every_o one_o of_o his_o member_n what_o ever_o can_v be_v speak_v concern_v christ_n as_o undertake_v the_o work_n of_o man_n salvation_n they_o be_v these_o perfection_n of_o christ_n the_o head_n as_o for_o example_n as_o the_o fullness_n of_o christ_n person_n his_o divine_a and_o humane_a perfection_n all_o the_o excellency_n of_o his_o office_n all_o his_o merit_n and_o all_o his_o satisfaction_n gift_n grace_n every_o thing_n that_o can_v be_v true_o speak_v of_o christ_n since_o he_o be_v design_v of_o god_n
poor_a servant_n a_o profit_v spirit_n under_o his_o administration_n to_o she_o which_o desire_n be_v not_o only_o put_v up_o before_o the_o lord_n but_o be_v the_o issue_n out_o of_o my_o heart_n frequent_o before_o the_o lord_n on_o her_o behalf_n march_n 31_o the_o lord_n be_v exceed_o please_v to_o put_v it_o upon_o my_o heart_n to_o seek_v his_o face_n in_o the_o behalf_n of_o my_o dear_a brother_n desire_v above_o all_o earthly_a blessing_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o he_o in_o as_o a_o return_n of_o prayer_n that_o one_o so_o night_n i_o may_v not_o perish_v in_o which_o desire_n he_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n exceed_o insomuch_o then_o and_o often_o since_o so_o that_o i_o can_v willing_o pour_v out_o my_o very_a life_n for_o he_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v but_o touch_v his_o heart_n in_o mercy_n and_o that_o that_o work_v we_o hope_v the_o lord_n have_v begin_v in_o he_o he_o will_v finish_v tell_v the_o lord_n withal_o that_o he_o have_v say_v what_o ever_o we_o ask_v believe_v we_o shall_v receive_v beseech_v he_o to_o increase_v my_o say_v tell_v he_o further_o that_o it_o be_v my_o desire_n to_o believe_v and_o expect_v the_o return_n of_o this_o poor_a desire_n in_o his_o own_o time_n and_o how_o it_o may_v make_v most_o for_o his_o glory_n and_o that_o if_o it_o be_v his_o will_n to_o let_v i_o see_v it_o and_o that_o see_v he_o have_v give_v i_o thus_o much_o boldness_n from_o the_o experience_n of_o his_o richness_n in_o answer_v the_o desire_n of_o my_o poor_a soul_n both_o for_o myself_o and_o other_o that_o he_o will_v also_o please_v to_o give_v in_o this_o poor_a brother_n as_o a_o return_n of_o prayer_n and_o help_v i_o to_o give_v he_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o and_z true_o immediate_o before_o this_o duty_n it_o be_v much_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o manifest_v his_o pleasure_n to_o i_o in_o this_o thing_n and_o in_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n and_o the_o heart_n of_o other_o of_o his_o people_n on_o his_o behalf_n march_n 31._o in_o my_o morning-sacrifice_n i_o have_v this_o discovery_n or_o experiment_n hint_v upon_o my_o spirit_n that_o if_o it_o be_v so_o good_a to_o be_v in_o the_o heart_n of_o god_n people_n as_o my_o soul_n have_v find_v by_o experience_n it_o be_v be_v real_o persuade_v that_o much_o of_o the_o soul-mercy_n that_o i_o enjoy_v come_v in_o through_o the_o prayer_n of_o some_o of_o god_n people_n for_o i_o oh_o what_o be_v it_o then_o to_o be_v in_o the_o heart_n of_o god_n for_o true_o have_v i_o not_o be_v in_o his_o heart_n the_o be_v in_o their_o heart_n will_v little_o have_v advantage_v i_o april_n the_o sixteenth_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v two_o or_o three_o day_n before_o much_o to_o disappoint_v that_o expectation_n of_o my_o soul_n providence_n cast_v i_o among_o several_a godly_a person_n and_o find_v little_a of_o god_n drop_n from_o they_o to_o my_o spiritual_a advantage_n as_o also_o find_v my_o own_o heart_n exceed_o bind_v up_o while_o i_o be_v in_o their_o company_n when_o as_o i_o be_v go_v home_o it_o so_o seize_v upon_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o think_v my_o very_a heart_n be_v overset_v and_o will_v have_v burst_v within_o i_o all_o which_o put_v my_o soul_n into_o a_o holy_a awe_n and_o tremble_a for_o fear_v lest_o the_o lord_n shall_v also_o at_o this_o present_n withdraw_v from_o i_o which_o put_v my_o soul_n upon_o a_o more_o earnest_a and_o importunate_a seek_v of_o he_o to_o appear_v to_o my_o soul_n through_o every_o ordinance_n of_o he_o that_o i_o may_v see_v his_o face_n and_o not_o his_o back_n urge_v of_o he_o very_o much_o with_o the_o promise_n that_o he_o have_v say_v that_o the_o seed_n of_o jacob_n shall_v not_o seek_v his_o face_n in_o vain_a beseech_v the_o lord_n that_o it_o may_v be_v make_v good_a to_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o time_n the_o next_o day_n if_o he_o shall_v please_v to_o add_v this_o one_o opportunity_n more_o to_o i_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o it_o be_v true_a i_o may_v yea_o i_o have_v seek_v other_o thing_n in_o vain_a i_o but_o shall_v i_o seek_v his_o face_n in_o vain_a now_o that_o i_o come_v only_o to_o seek_v his_o face_n rely_v on_o his_o promise_n he_o have_v make_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o seek_v in_o vain_a and_o therefore_o i_o do_v desire_n to_o roll_n upon_o it_o beseech_v he_o to_o increase_v my_o faith_n that_o i_o may_v real_o and_o indeed_o expect_v the_o performance_n and_o make_v of_o it_o good_a at_o this_o present_a to_o my_o soul_n and_o true_o i_o dare_v not_o but_o to_o his_o praise_n acknowledge_v and_o desire_v that_o the_o remembrance_n of_o it_o may_v dwell_v upon_o my_o heart_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o a_o wonderful_a manner_n to_o manifest_v himself_o this_o day_n be_v the_o 17_o of_o april_n to_o my_o soul_n through_o which_o that_o whole_a day_n both_o in_o prayer_n and_o preach_v every_o word_n in_o prayer_n come_v as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v fetch_v from_o the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o every_o word_n in_o the_o sermon_n be_v of_o such_o spiritual_a concernment_n to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o acknowledge_v the_o lord_n mighty_o present_a through_o his_o servant_n mr._n knight_n this_o day_n and_o true_o this_o former_a appearance_n of_o god_n have_v so_o rasish_v my_o heart_n and_o refresh_v my_o spirit_n i_o be_v also_o embolden_v to_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n april_n 20._o beseech_v he_o that_o as_o he_o have_v begin_v his_o work_n in_o abundant_a measure_n in_o mercy_n that_o he_o will_v also_o please_v to_o go_v on_o and_o add_v this_o one_o mercy_n more_o and_o trust_v i_o with_o it_o and_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o improve_v it_o to_o his_o glory_n that_o as_o he_o have_v give_v i_o this_o abundant_a experience_n of_o not_o seek_v his_o face_n in_o vain_a so_o that_o he_o will_v strengthen_v my_o faith_n even_o at_o this_o time_n also_o to_o call_v upon_o he_o and_o true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v also_o to_o bow_v down_o and_o appear_v abundant_o to_o my_o soul_n this_o day_n also_o through_o mr._n knight_n april_n 27._o i_o give_v up_o in_o a_o note_n this_o day_n that_o one_o desire_n to_o praise_v the_o lord_n that_o amid_o all_o the_o trial_n he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o excercise_n she_o under_o in_o this_o pilgrimage_n he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v she_o some_o taste_n of_o the_o rest_n that_o be_v only_o to_o be_v enjoy_v in_o himself_o beseech_v he_o so_o to_o increase_v her_o faith_n that_o she_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o live_v upon_o a_o promise_n this_o be_v give_v up_o to_o mr._n knight_n to_o spread_v before_o the_o lord_n april_n 24._o 1653._o for_o one_o who_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v out_o of_o his_o free_a grace_n to_o set_v his_o first_o love_n upon_o and_o continual_o to_o follow_v with_o mercy_n upon_o mercy_n and_o to_o give_v in_o one_o return_n upon_o the_o neck_n of_o another_o notwithstanding_o she_o have_v often_o in_o the_o rebellion_n of_o her_o heart_n say_v that_o god_n have_v cover_v all_o her_o prayer_n with_o a_o cloud_n and_o will_v never_o answer_v any_o of_o they_o which_o yet_o he_o have_v abundant_o do_v which_o she_o be_v not_o able_a any_o way_n sufficient_o to_o admire_v or_o bless_v his_o name_n for_o and_o therefore_o desire_v that_o those_o who_o heart_n the_o lord_n have_v more_o enlarge_v to_o this_o glorious_a heavenly_a work_n will_v help_v to_o bless_v and_o praise_v that_o name_n of_o god_n who_o there_o be_v none_o like_o unto_o who_o continual_o wait_v that_o he_o may_v be_v gracious_a beseech_v he_o that_o he_o will_v also_o enable_v her_o soul_n to_o wait_v to_o bless_v and_o praise_v his_o name_n yea_o wait_v for_o a_o heart_n suit_v to_o all_o these_o wonderful_a appearance_n of_o his_o to_o her_o soul_n that_o she_o may_v be_v more_o and_o more_o dedicate_v and_o give_v up_o to_o he_o and_o he_o alone_o in_o all_o she_o have_v be_v or_o shall_v be_v enable_v to_o do_v this_o also_o be_v give_v up_o to_o mr._n knight_n april_n 26._o apprehend_v that_o one_o propound_v to_o the_o church_n intend_v to_o address_v himself_o to_o the_o church_n for_o admission_n be_v before_o much_o dissatisfy_v concern_v he_o yet_o find_v much_o inclination_n in_o the_o spirit_n of_o other_o to_o he_o i_o be_v exceed_o trouble_v about_o it_o and_o beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o direct_v i_o what_o to_o do_v in_o it_o beseech_v he_o also_o to_o appear_v among_o we_o and_o give_v in_o his_o spirit_n that_o it_o may_v be_v to_o we_o a_o spirit_n of_o discern_v that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v
may_v have_v cause_n to_o praise_v he_o even_o to_o all_o eternity_n for_o this_o unspeakable_a mercy_n this_o latter_a be_v write_v in_o the_o behalf_n of_o one_o in_o near_a relation_n afterward_o it_o be_v exceed_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n not_o to_o do_v it_o only_o in_o his_o behalf_n but_o also_o in_o the_o behalf_n of_o other_o poor_a dark_a soul_n in_o relation_n to_o i_o may_v the_o 4._o oh_o my_o soul_n must_v thou_o not_o needs_o acknowledge_v the_o lord_n a_o god_n hear_v the_o very_a groan_n of_o thy_o soul_n before_o they_o be_v effectual_o put_v up_o put_v in_o at_o the_o very_a time_n a_o seasonable_a word_n into_o the_o mouth_n of_o his_o servant_n suit_v to_o thy_o trouble_n and_o fear_n support_v thy_o spirit_n under_o they_o abundant_o and_o do_v not_o the_o lord_n that_o same_o day_n may_v 4._o by_o a_o letter_n that_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o come_v home_o come_v to_o my_o hand_n give_v my_o soul_n great_a hope_n of_o a_o begin_v work_n upon_o that_o poor_a soul_n which_o come_v as_o it_o be_v as_o a_o fresh_a return_n of_o prayer_n this_o very_a person_n be_v in_o my_o heart_n in_o these_o desire_n that_o be_v then_o put_v up_o may_v 21._o the_o lord_n be_v please_v one_o evening_n very_o much_o to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v his_o appearance_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o every_o ordinance_n in_o a_o more_o full_a and_o lively_a manner_n then_o former_o and_o next_o day_n be_v the_o first_o day_n of_o the_o week_n true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v very_o much_o to_o appear_v in_o the_o morning_n to_o refresh_v and_o cheer_v my_o heart_n and_o so_o also_o in_o the_o ordinance_n of_o the_o supper_n for_o which_o bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n the_o four_o of_o the_o four_o month_n in_o the_o evening_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n very_o dead_a and_o dull_a to_o any_o spiritual_a service_n yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o draw_v it_o out_o in_o this_o request_n to_o he_o beg_v a_o special_a presence_n of_o his_o the_o next_o day_n both_o in_o prayer_n and_o preach_v and_o the_o ordinance_n of_o the_o supper_n beg_v the_o lord_n to_o appear_v through_o his_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o administer_v in_o his_o name_n that_o there_o may_v be_v such_o a_o lively_a presence_n and_o appearance_n of_o god_n through_o he_o as_o may_v be_v a_o token_n of_o good_a to_o my_o soul_n and_o true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v the_o next_o day_n in_o a_o lively_a manner_n to_o appear_v not_o only_o suit_v his_o appearance_n to_o that_o dead_a dull_a frame_n my_o wretched_a heart_n be_v in_o to_o he_o but_o do_v abundant_o above_o even_o my_o expectation_n in_o some_o sense_n ride_v triumphant_o and_o glorious_o in_o the_o chariot_n of_o his_o word_n the_o 13_o of_o this_o four_o month_n in_o the_o evening_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n very_o much_o among_o other_o thing_n to_o plead_v with_o he_o to_o discover_v to_o i_o what_o the_o desire_n the_o hungring_n and_o the_o thirsting_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v indeed_o after_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o as_o far_o as_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n it_o be_v not_o after_o the_o world_n the_o profit_n pleasure_n or_o any_o thing_n in_o it_o beseech_v he_o to_o search_v and_o try_v i_o and_o if_o i_o be_v deceive_v in_o this_o to_o discover_v it_o to_o i_o and_o to_o be_v so_o far_o from_o satisfy_v any_o thirst_n of_o my_o soul_n after_o any_o thing_n beside_o himself_o as_o to_o blast_v it_o and_o to_o make_v i_o sensible_a of_o it_o and_o humble_a before_o he_o for_o it_o but_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o that_o hunger_n and_o thirst_v after_o righteousness_n they_o shall_v be_v satisfy_v and_o fill_v and_o true_o if_o i_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n this_o be_v it_o my_o soul_n wait_v for_o and_o bray_v after_o to_o be_v make_v more_o like_o he_o more_o conformable_a to_o he_o to_o have_v the_o spirit_n of_o a_o child_n put_v upon_o i_o whereby_o i_o may_v be_v more_o like_a unto_o he_o and_o more_o dedicate_v and_o give_v up_o in_o all_o my_o way_n to_o he_o but_o that_o if_o it_o be_v not_o thus_o with_o i_o but_o that_o i_o be_v deceive_v in_o it_o i_o do_v then_o beg_v above_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v discover_v it_o unto_o i_o the_o 25_o of_o this_o four_o month_n my_o spirit_n wasdraw_v out_o to_o beg_v the_o lord_n appearance_n the_o next_o day_n and_o suit_v my_o heart_n to_o it_o which_o i_o find_v in_o a_o very_a dead_a &_o dull_a frame_n beseech_v the_o lord_n that_o his_o appearance_n may_v not_o answer_v that_o wretched_a frame_n my_o heart_n be_v then_o in_o but_o that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v put_v in_o frame_n to_o meet_v with_o he_o as_o also_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o provide_v a_o portion_n for_o every_o poor_a soul_n that_o desire_v to_o see_v his_o face_n and_o to_o seek_v his_o presence_n that_o they_o may_v find_v some_o word_n suitable_a to_o their_o condition_n and_o how_o rich_o and_o abundant_o do_v the_o lord_n answer_v each_o of_o those_o desire_n both_o in_o behalf_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o also_o on_o the_o behalf_n of_o other_o how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v and_o ride_v triumphant_o in_o the_o chariot_n of_o his_o word_n this_o day_n in_o the_o morning_n present_v very_o glorious_a useful_a truth_n seasonable_a to_o my_o poor_a soul_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o practice_v and_o make_v use_n of_o enable_v i_o to_o improve_v the_o promise_n to_o this_o great_a work_n of_o clean_v from_o corruption_n yea_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o a_o further_a way_n to_o answer_v my_o desire_n for_o other_o put_v in_o a_o very_a seasonable_a word_n of_o he_o to_o my_o cousin_n jefferson_n concern_v freewill_n who_o be_v much_o in_o my_o thought_n in_o my_o former_a request_n show_v how_o the_o promise_n be_v make_v in_o respect_n of_o our_o own_o weakness_n and_o nothingness_n for_o have_v the_o creature_n any_o power_n god_n need_v not_o promise_v to_o do_v all_o the_o lord_n have_v thus_o appear_v this_o morning_n there_o arise_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o question_n at_o noon_n whether_o i_o shall_v not_o public_o by_o mr._n knight_n offer_v up_o praise_n to_o the_o lord_n for_o this_o appearance_n of_o he_o but_o through_o many_o fear_n that_o arise_v upon_o my_o spirit_n lest_o it_o may_v be_v misconstrue_v as_o if_o i_o do_v desire_v to_o appear_v to_o be_v somebody_o with_o the_o like_a temptation_n be_v keep_v off_o yet_o notwithstanding_o some_o trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n for_o i_o be_v great_o desirous_a to_o have_v bless_v the_o lord_n public_o for_o it_o yet_o how_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v in_o answer_n to_o this_o secret_a desire_n of_o i_o for_o mr._n knight_n himself_o upon_o his_o own_o account_n do_v large_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o day_n and_o so_o throughout_o with_o which_o my_o heart_n do_v real_o close_a and_o so_o do_v our_o sister_n arnal_a as_o she_o say_v afterward_o as_o well_o as_o myself_o great_o rejoice_v that_o the_o lord_n draw_v out_o his_o heart_n in_o that_o wherein_o her_o heart_n and_o mind_n also_o do_v so_o abundant_o join_v our_o brethren_n have_v make_v some_o entrance_n into_o the_o private_a conference_n and_o somewhat_o of_o god_n appear_v from_o several_a of_o they_o my_o heart_n be_v much_o draw_v out_o to_o propound_v some_o question_n to_o they_o have_v two_o or_o three_o thing_n upon_o my_o spirit_n wherein_o i_o be_v much_o unsatisfied_a and_o have_v resolve_v upon_o the_o thing_n in_o general_n there_o arise_v a_o great_a dispute_n in_o my_o spirit_n which_o question_n to_o propound_v first_o for_o they_o all_o leave_v much_o weight_n upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o among_o other_o i_o have_v a_o very_a strong_a desire_n to_o propound_v this_o what_o mean_n may_v be_v best_o available_a for_o the_o subdue_a of_o pride_n and_o strong_a debate_n have_v i_o in_o my_o spirit_n before_o i_o can_v pass_v this_o over_o yet_o at_o the_o last_o my_o spirit_n be_v overcome_v to_o propound_v another_o which_o prove_v very_o suitable_a to_o many_o other_o spirit_n in_o which_o i_o see_v some_o hand_n of_o god_n yet_o do_v my_o heart_n earnest_o long_o after_o some_o resolution_n concern_v that_o of_o pride_n but_o how_o gloriou_o do_v the_o lord_n a_o while_n after_o the_o 26_o of_o this_o four_o month_n appear_v in_o answer_n to_o it_o show_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o way_n like_o to_o the_o take_n of_o the_o advantage_n of_o the_o ordinance_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v about_o the_o end_n of_o this_o four_o
even_o for_o the_o full_a accomplishment_n of_o his_o own_o promise_n who_o have_v say_v sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o he_o that_o be_v not_o under_o the_o law_n but_o under_o grace_n as_o also_o that_o he_o will_v tread_v down_o satan_n under_o his_o people_n foot_n short_o which_o my_o soul_n desire_v to_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n desire_v to_o bless_v his_o name_n and_o that_o you_o will_v bless_v he_o together_o with_o i_o that_o he_o be_v please_v to_o open_v any_o fountain_n of_o love_n and_o mercy_n in_o this_o vale_n of_o tear_n so_o abundant_o fulfil_v to_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o word_n of_o he_o which_o he_o be_v please_v no_o soon_o to_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n with_o a_o persuasion_n in_o some_o measure_n that_o it_o shall_v be_v make_v good_a roll_v though_o weak_o upon_o he_o for_o it_o but_o that_o he_o be_v please_v so_o to_o do_v indeed_o that_o word_n i_o find_v isai_n 56._o 19_o when_o the_o enemy_n shall_v come_v in_o like_o a_o flood_n the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n shall_v set_v up_o a_o standard_n against_o they_o for_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v his_o name_n beseech_v he_o that_o those_o impression_n that_o he_o be_v please_v by_o his_o spirit_n through_o several_a word_n of_o he_o to_o make_v upon_o my_o heart_n may_v never_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o but_o that_o they_o may_v continual_o be_v as_o support_v to_o my_o poor_a weak_a faith_n that_o it_o may_v grow_v from_o strength_n to_o strength_n even_o till_o i_o shall_v meet_v my_o god_n bless_v for_o ever_o be_v that_o god_n that_o be_v please_v to_o know_v my_o poor_a soul_n in_o this_o hour_n of_o temptation_n and_o to_o take_v this_o poor_a lame_a soul_n and_o lead_v and_o carry_v it_o of_o be_v not_o able_a to_o go_v one_o step_n in_o any_o of_o his_o way_n without_o his_o hand_n but_o that_o it_o get_v one_o knock_n or_o bruise_v or_o other_o yea_o bless_v for_o ever_o be_v that_o god_n and_o saviour_n that_o will_v not_o suffer_v his_o poor_a creature_n to_o slip_v as_o he_o do_v other_o but_o be_v please_v in_o rich_a mercy_n to_o be_v ever_o awaken_n my_o poor_a drowsy_a spirit_n by_o one_o affliction_n or_o another_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o do_v much_o refresh_v my_o spirit_n and_o seem_v at_o present_a a_o special_a token_n of_o his_o love_n for_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v he_o and_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v praise_v the_o name_n of_o that_o god_n and_o father_n who_o be_v the_o father_n of_o all_o mercy_n and_o god_n of_o all_o consolation_n for_o true_o i_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o be_o persuade_v satan_n have_v not_o now_o be_v let_v loose_a to_o buffet_v i_o thus_o have_v i_o not_o be_v so_o sleepy_a and_o drowsy_a in_o spirit_n but_o bless_v be_v that_o rod_n that_o awake_v my_o poor_a soul_n from_o the_o sleep_n of_o any_o sin_n so_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v but_o please_v to_o work_v it_o out_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v on_o god_n for_o i_o shall_v for_o some_o respect_n have_v forbear_v this_o duty_n of_o praise_n but_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v let_v in_o the_o clear_a sight_n of_o this_o mercy_n as_o also_o lest_o i_o shall_v prove_v ungrateful_a for_o so_o large_a manifestation_n of_o mercy_n though_o all_o i_o can_v do_v in_o it_o be_v a_o mere_a nothing_o the_o great_a be_v the_o goodness_n of_o god_n that_o bow_v down_o to_o accept_v such_o break_a praise_n which_o i_o have_v cause_n even_o to_o lament_v over_o have_v too_o little_a spiritual_a life_n in_o they_o when_o as_o in_o truth_n my_o whole_a soul_n and_o body_n shall_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o lively_a sacrifice_n to_o god_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v to_o that_o god_n whence_o all_o my_o enjoyment_n come_v in_o who_o i_o desire_v to_o rest_v your_o unworthy_a but_o in_o desire_n and_o hope_v real_a friend_n for_o my_o lord_n sake_n finis_fw-la the_o second_o book_n of_o manifold_a experiment_n of_o god_n deal_v with_o my_o soul_n in_o hear_v prayer_n and_o other_o gracious_a income_n of_o love_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o help_v i_o very_o much_o in_o this_o search_n by_o mr._n knight_n who_o speak_v from_o this_o scripture_n at_o fulham_n the_o nine_o of_o this_o nine_o month_n in_o the_o 12_o of_o luke_n 42_o 43._o from_o which_o he_o show_v we_o have_v the_o lord_n set_v out_o the_o blessedness_n of_o that_o servant_n that_o be_v faithful_a in_o the_o work_n that_o his_o lord_n intru_v he_o about_o and_o who_o his_o lord_n when_o he_o come_v find_v to_o be_v so_o do_v as_o he_o appoint_v now_o o_o my_o soul_n what_o comfortable_a hope_n can_v thou_o gather_v out_o from_o the_o serious_a examination_n of_o thy_o own_o heart_n upon_o this_o point_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v thou_o faithful_a though_o thou_o be_v poor_a weak_a and_o unworthy_a every_o way_n to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o such_o a_o lord_n what_o can_v thou_o say_v to_o this_o have_v the_o lord_n indeed_o make_v thou_o faithful_a ans_fw-fr 1._o i_o gather_v some_o hope_n of_o it_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n faithful_a from_o that_o sincerity_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v put_v into_o my_o heart_n to_o aim_v pure_o at_o his_o glory_n in_o all_o i_o do_v in_o this_o world_n the_o contrary_a to_o which_o cause_v much_o bitterness_n in_o my_o spirit_n yet_o through_o the_o prevalency_n of_o the_o unregenerate_a part_n in_o i_o i_o be_o many_o time_n bias_v and_o carry_v aside_o to_o aim_v at_o other_o thing_n in_o many_o of_o my_o way_n but_o the_o glory_n of_o my_o lord_n be_v my_o principal_a aim_n for_o if_o i_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n through_o mercy_n i_o do_v find_v it_o set_v to_o seek_v the_o honour_n of_o christ_n and_o to_o walk_v in_o way_n well_o please_v to_o he_o though_o i_o do_v too_o often_o sad_o wander_v from_o these_o intent_n and_o desire_n which_o be_v discover_v to_o be_v the_o real_a burden_n of_o my_o life_n 2._o in_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o put_v into_o my_o soul_n i_o hope_v a_o real_a desire_n te_fw-la do_v his_o whole_a will_n and_o therein_o to_o appear_v faithful_a daily_o desire_v and_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o i_o may_v not_o at_o any_o time_n in_o any_o command_n of_o his_o be_v find_v consult_v with_o flesh_n and_o blood_n but_o that_o as_o soon_o as_o ever_o he_o discover_v his_o will_n in_o any_o thing_n whatever_o to_o i_o that_o he_o will_v also_o enable_v i_o to_o obey_v it_o ready_o find_v the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n i_o hope_v oftentimes_o breathe_v in_o my_o soul_n after_o this_o manner_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v but_o discover_v thy_o mind_n &_o will_n to_o i_o in_o all_o my_o way_n that_o be_v it_o i_o beg_v of_o thou_o and_o though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o contrary_a to_o flesh_n and_o blood_n yea_o though_o i_o can_v see_v nothing_o but_o that_o it_o be_v lay_v out_o for_o to_o afflict_v i_o and_o to_o be_v a_o trial_n and_o exercise_v for_o i_o and_o so_o have_v nothing_o to_o induce_v i_o but_o thy_o will_n yet_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v but_o discover_v thy_o mind_n in_o it_o to_o i_o what_o will_v i_o then_o beg_v of_o thou_o but_o only_o a_o ready_a frame_n to_o yield_v obedience_n to_o thy_o will_n and_o leave_v the_o success_n &_o sanctify_v of_o it_o to_o i_o to_o thyself_o and_o if_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o think_v any_o mercy_n to_o be_v never_o so_o good_a or_o for_o my_o advantage_n yet_o if_o thou_o see_v meet_v to_o discover_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o thy_o will_n be_v not_o in_o it_o will_v i_o not_o then_o if_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n beg_v above_o all_o thing_n to_o have_v my_o will_n to_o be_v whole_o swallow_v up_o into_o thou_o lord_n and_o this_o hope_n be_v ground_v in_o some_o measure_n upon_o the_o abundant_a experience_n the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o of_o his_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n and_o abundant_a kindness_n in_o his_o often_o deny_v i_o of_o my_o will_n 3_o i_o hope_v the_o lord_n have_v in_o some_o measure_n make_v i_o a_o faithful_a servant_n in_o that_o he_o have_v set_v my_o soul_n upon_o the_o watch_n to_o know_v his_o mind_n and_o will_n endeavour_v and_o desire_v to_o keep_v my_o eye_n upon_o he_o and_o he_o only_o that_o i_o may_v see_v what_o his_o mind_n and_o will_n be_v who_o have_v say_v that_o he_o will_v guide_v he_o by_o his_o eye_n which_o cause_v my_o soul_n though_o with_o much_o weakness_n not_o only_o earnest_o to_o desire_v but_o also_o to_o endeavour_v to_o reflect_v upon_o all_o my_o motion_n and_o action_n and_o thought_n and_o word_n in_o this_o
degree_n of_o it_o which_o thou_o see_v through_o mercy_n by_o other_o though_o not_o visible_o to_o they_o thus_o do_v the_o lord_n bring_v a_o good_a issue_n out_o of_o their_o own_o speech_n and_o word_n cause_v thou_o to_o lie_v down_o at_o his_o foot_n expect_v the_o punishment_n of_o thy_o iniquity_n yea_o great_a difficulty_n than_o these_o have_v the_o lord_n carry_v thou_o through_o when_o all_o the_o power_n of_o hell_n and_o thy_o own_o corruption_n have_v combine_v together_o to_o keep_v thou_o from_o duty_n of_o prayer_n meditation_n and_o examination_n and_o the_o like_a and_o yet_o the_o lord_n have_v enable_v thou_o to_o break_v through_o all_o and_o to_o pour_v out_o thy_o soul_n to_o he_o when_o thou_o be_v even_o in_o thy_o own_o apprehension_n at_o the_o pit_n brink_n and_o yet_o resolve_v to_o cry_v to_o he_o and_o not_o to_o give_v over_o cry_v and_o call_v whilst_o thou_o live_v notwithstanding_o all_o temptation_n to_o the_o contrary_a yea_o the_o more_o strong_a the_o temptation_n be_v the_o more_o speedy_o be_v thou_o fain_o to_o address_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o his_o strength_n and_o power_n to_o assist_v thou_o in_o grapple_v with_o they_o yea_o when_o some_o time_n overcome_v as_o it_o be_v and_o beat_v down_o by_o satan_n and_o enter_v the_o very_a border_n of_o despair_n yet_o even_o thence_o from_o this_o belly_n of_o hell_n in_o which_o thou_o do_v apprehend_v thyself_o already_o enter_v do_v not_o the_o lord_n enable_v thou_o to_o cry_v to_o he_o &_o resolve_v to_o give_v he_o no_o rest_n yea_o when_o thou_o find_v no_o advantage_n or_o profit_n of_o all_o thy_o prayer_n and_o tear_n &_o sigh_n &_o croan_n but_o that_o the_o lord_n seem_v to_o turn_v a_o deaf_a ear_n yet_o do_v not_o the_o lord_n enable_v thou_o to_o go_v on_o and_o to_o tell_v he_o that_o all_o those_o comfort_n and_o enjoyment_n here_o below_o they_o be_v poor_a mean_a thing_n such_o as_o thou_o can_v not_o take_v for_o thy_o portion_n and_o therefore_o do_v beg_v with_o submission_n to_o his_o will_n that_o if_o he_o have_v no_o other_o for_o thou_o but_o the_o portion_n of_o this_o life_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o deny_v thou_o they_o also_o and_o never_o give_v they_o to_o be_v a_o snare_n but_o rather_o let_v thou_o end_v thy_o day_n in_o some_o desolate_a wilderness_n 3._o faithfulness_n appear_v in_o cheerful_a service_n now_o o_o my_o soul_n be_v thou_o not_o able_a to_o say_v before_o the_o lord_n the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n through_o his_o grace_n that_o so_o much_o faithfulness_n as_o thou_o can_v discern_v in_o thou_o in_o any_o service_n of_o thy_o lord_n be_v thy_o very_a joy_n and_o rejoice_n of_o thy_o heart_n but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n so_o much_o unfaithfulness_n as_o thou_o can_v discern_v in_o any_o service_n this_o be_v it_o that_o make_v thou_o go_v mourn_v all_o thy_o day_n because_o thou_o be_v no_o more_o fruitful_a 4._o o_o my_o soul_n thy_o faithfulness_n in_o some_o measure_n appear_v in_o that_o thou_o be_v rejoice_v real_o in_o spirit_n when_o any_o opportunity_n be_v put_v into_o thy_o hand_n and_o thy_o heart_n be_v enable_v in_o any_o measure_n to_o improve_v it_o to_o the_o service_n and_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o thy_o lord_n and_o be_v thou_o not_o on_o the_o contrary_a grieve_v that_o thou_o have_v so_o many_o opportunity_n offer_v before_o thou_o but_o like_o a_o fool_n have_v not_o a_o heart_n to_o improve_v they_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o thy_o lord_n be_v not_o this_o thy_o daily_a burden_n lord_n thou_o know_v it_o be_v &_o when_o through_o the_o subtlety_n of_o satan_n and_o deceit_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o fool_n away_o many_o rich_a opportunity_n by_o not_o improve_n of_o they_o which_o after_o prove_v a_o sad_a burden_n and_o affliction_n to_o i_o 5._o o_o my_o soul_n do_v there_o not_o appear_v some_o degree_n of_o faithfulness_n to_o thy_o lord_n in_o that_o thy_o endeavour_n do_v come_v still_o beneath_o thy_o desire_n have_v not_o the_o lord_n real_o enable_v thou_o through_o grace_n to_o say_v with_o paul_n the_o good_a that_o i_o will_v do_v i_o do_v not_o but_o o_o that_o i_o can_v do_v it_o that_o i_o can_v serve_v the_o lord_n more_o and_o better_o but_o oh_o how_o low_o do_v i_o live_v and_o how_o poor_o do_v i_o walk_v but_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v come_v to_o prayer_n and_o read_v and_o hear_v and_o meditate_v and_o do_v all_o private_a and_o public_a duty_n and_o walk_v in_o all_o my_o relation_n in_o this_o world_n as_o may_v honour_v this_o my_o lord_n be_v not_o these_o the_o continual_a groan_n and_o breathe_n of_o my_o heart_n before_o the_o lord_n lord_n thou_o know_v it_o for_o i_o have_v none_o i_o desire_v to_o appeal_v unto_o but_o to_o thou_o the_o searcher_n of_o my_o heart_n 6._o lord_n do_v not_o some_o faithfulness_n appear_v to_o be_v wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n by_o thou_o in_o that_o thou_o have_v above_o all_o thing_n make_v i_o to_o delight_v in_o that_o work_n that_o no_o eye_n see_v but_o thyself_o thou_o know_v what_o a_o fear_n have_v be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v to_o this_o day_n in_o a_o great_a measure_n to_o appear_v before_o other_o thou_o lord_n know_v how_o many_o year_n this_o fear_n have_v be_v as_o a_o prison_n to_o keep_v in_o the_o working_n of_o my_o heart_n &_o as_o door_n to_o my_o mouth_n to_o keep_v it_o from_o lament_v itself_o not_o so_o much_o as_o in_o one_o word_n in_o the_o hear_n of_o other_o lest_o there_o shall_v any_o pride_n or_o hypocrifie_n act_n in_o it_o yea_o to_o this_o very_a day_n how_o many_o service_n wherein_o perhaps_o thy_o lord_n may_v be_v honour_v be_v thou_o prevent_v and_o dare_v not_o to_o act_v in_o upon_o this_o very_a account_n that_o it_o can_v be_v do_v in_o private_a can_v thou_o not_o say_v before_o the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n that_o such_o thought_n and_o apprehension_n and_o fear_n as_o these_o lest_o other_o shall_v esteem_v thou_o better_o than_o thou_o be_v or_o thy_o own_o spirit_n be_v lift_v up_o before_o the_o lord_n or_o any_o false_a end_n bias_n thou_o in_o it_o that_o such_o thought_n i_o say_v as_o thief_n do_v often_o as_o it_o be_v tie_v up_o thy_o tongue_n sow_v up_o thy_o mouth_n in_o all_o company_n even_o while_o at_o that_o instant_n thy_o heart_n be_v even_o ready_a to_o split_v or_o break_v in_o piece_n for_o want_n of_o vent_n sometime_o apprehend_v that_o those_o discovery_n that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sometime_o to_o make_v to_o thou_o and_o the_o rich_a grace_n he_o be_v please_v to_o manifest_v in_o thou_o in_o overcome_v all_o the_o unkindness_n in_o thou_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v put_v unnder_v a_o bushel_n but_o hold_v out_o to_o other_o and_o yet_o not_o dare_v to_o do_v it_o find_v my_o wretched_a heart_n so_o prone_a to_o be_v lift_v up_o upon_o all_o such_o occasion_n and_o so_o dishonour_n god_n that_o way_n and_o so_o deceive_v other_o and_o myself_o also_o and_o through_o both_o these_o fear_v my_o soul_n often_o walk_v sad_o before_o the_o lord_n fear_v to_o offend_v he_o and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o discern_v it_o whether_o way_n i_o may_v most_o honour_v he_o have_v make_v trial_n of_o both_o sometime_o silent_a and_o sometime_o speak_v and_o find_v the_o wickedness_n of_o my_o heart_n appear_v sad_o in_o both_o i_o know_v not_o sometime_o which_o be_v best_a the_o lord_n in_o mercy_n manifest_a and_o clear_v up_o to_o i_o o_o my_o soul_n thus_o may_v it_o probable_o and_o hopeful_o appear_v to_o thou_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v thou_o in_o some_o measure_n his_o faithful_a servant_n 1._o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o some_o hope_n that_o i_o trust_v i_o have_v no_o other_o master_n that_o i_o willing_o call_v rabbi_n or_o willing_o serve_v but_o my_o lord_n jesus_n nor_o have_v i_o any_o other_o work_n that_o i_o do_v upon_o which_o my_o heart_n be_v delightful_o set_v upon_o but_o only_o my_o lord_n work_v and_o this_o appear_v far_a to_o i_o in_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v i_o hope_v in_o some_o measure_n wrought_v my_o heart_n to_o this_o frame_n of_o spirit_n to_o desire_v above_o all_o thing_n to_o serve_v my_o lord_n christ_n in_o all_o the_o relation_n he_o have_v set_v i_o in_o in_o this_o world_n and_o to_o that_o end_n every_o fail_n in_o any_o of_o they_o either_o as_o a_o child_n or_o friend_n or_o any_o relation_n though_o i_o too_o sad_o fail_v in_o they_o all_o this_o be_v that_o which_o if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o above_o all_o thing_n break_v my_o heart_n to_o think_v that_o hereby_o i_o do_v dishonour_n my_o lord_n jesus_n and_o that_o profession_n of_o be_v his_o servant_n it_o be_v not_o
so_o much_o that_o i_o offend_v any_o relation_n as_o that_o i_o grieve_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n in_o all_o my_o action_n and_o in_o all_o my_o relation_n in_o this_o world_n i_o hope_v that_o my_o soul_n be_v in_o the_o first_o place_n set_v to_o serve_v my_o lord_n in_o the_o duty_n to_o they_o as_o that_o which_o he_o require_v and_o my_o be_v for_o his_o honour_n if_o do_v right_o and_o though_o i_o do_v often_o transgress_v the_o command_n of_o my_o lord_n jesus_n yet_o i_o trust_v i_o do_v not_o make_v it_o my_o work_n but_o it_o my_o daily_a burden_n 2._o my_o desire_n and_o daily_a groan_n before_o the_o lord_n be_v that_o i_o may_v be_v whole_o devote_v and_o give_v up_o to_o jesus_n in_o my_o whole_a inward_a and_o outward_a man_n and_o i_o will_v that_o all_o my_o poor_a part_n and_o strength_n and_o time_n yea_o all_o my_o inward_a and_o outward_a talent_n shall_v be_v improve_v in_o his_o service_n whole_o how_o often_o do_v my_o soul_n breath_n before_o the_o lord_n after_o this_o manner_n oh_o father_n be_v it_o not_o long_a enough_o yea_o too_o too_o long_o that_o i_o have_v be_v too_o too_o much_o at_o satan_n beck_n and_o the_o world_n yea_o and_o my_o own_o oh_o that_o it_o may_v be_v thus_o no_o long_o and_o that_o i_o may_v no_o long_o live_v to_o myself_o or_o seek_v or_o please_v myself_o in_o any_o thing_n but_o that_o my_o whole_a soul_n may_v be_v set_v to_o please_v my_o lord_n jesus_n be_v it_o not_o my_o daily_a burden_n that_o i_o have_v too_o too_o much_o seek_v and_o serve_v myself_o both_o in_o natural_a and_o spiritual_a thing_n that_o i_o have_v have_v too_o many_o self-end_n and_o design_n which_o the_o lord_n crucify_v full_o for_o my_o lord_n sake_n and_o as_o for_o the_o service_n of_o the_o world_n if_o i_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n it_o be_v my_o daily_a desire_n prayer_n and_o endeavour_n to_o throw_v the_o world_n whole_o out_o of_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o may_v not_o do_v any_o service_n any_o long_o to_o sin_n or_o satan_n and_o if_o at_o any_o time_n they_o do_v get_v any_o little_a from_o i_o how_o grudge_o and_o repine_o be_v it_o do_v yea_o be_v it_o not_o the_o grief_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v have_v any_o expectation_n or_o desire_n after_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n or_o of_o this_o world_n that_o my_o eye_n be_v not_o whole_o and_o real_o upon_o jesus_n christ_n for_o expectation_n provision_n and_o all_o what_o i_o need_v 3_o though_o i_o have_v a_o wretched_a heart_n that_o have_v and_o still_o will_v be_v pick_v its_o work_n think_v that_o other_o servant_n of_o christ_n they_o have_v a_o easy_a work_n and_o go_v through_o this_o world_n fill_v fill_v with_o the_o joy_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n yea_o and_o have_v their_o cup_n of_o earthly_a blessing_n overflow_a and_o hereupon_o my_o wicked_a heart_n have_v be_v carry_v disorderly_a to_o long_o after_o and_o wish_v for_o such_o a_o condition_n and_o think_v that_o i_o have_v a_o hard_a portion_n to_o be_v always_o afflict_v with_o inward_a and_o outward_a distemper_n and_o weakness_n trial_n in_o bodily_a affliction_n of_o most_o sort_n and_o inward_a weakness_n infirmity_n temptation_n of_o divers_a kind_n and_o in_o high_a degree_n suffer_v my_o name_n especial_o for_o my_o desire_n to_o walk_v in_o the_o way_n and_o service_n of_o my_o lord_n which_o my_o wicked_a heart_n think_v very_o hard_a and_o to_o this_o day_n be_v too_o ready_a sometime_o to_o murmur_v though_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o my_o god_n it_o have_v not_o the_o power_n or_o strength_n that_o it_o have_v have_v yet_o the_o very_a rise_n of_o it_o cause_v my_o soul_n still_o to_o beg_v strength_n against_o it_o and_o a_o thorough_a victory_n over_o it_o beg_v daily_o a_o submissive_a frame_n of_o spirit_n to_o the_o will_n of_o my_o lord_n in_o all_o thing_n desire_v no_o more_o to_o pick_v and_o choose_v my_o condition_n and_o work_v but_o beg_v the_o lord_n to_o choose_v for_o i_o who_o know_v what_o be_v best_a for_o i_o and_o if_o he_o see_v meet_v that_o i_o shall_v serve_v he_o in_o the_o fire_n of_o affliction_n inward_a or_o outward_a that_o he_o will_v but_o subject_v my_o heart_n to_o his_o will_n &_o sanctify_v that_o condition_n to_o i_o and_o do_v with_o i_o what_o he_o please_v 7_o do_v there_o not_o appear_v some_o degree_n of_o faithfulness_n in_o thou_o in_o that_o thou_o love_v most_o who_o thou_o esteem_v to_o do_v most_o for_o christ_n and_o daily_o mourn_v that_o other_o do_v no_o more_o for_o he_o then_o thou_o do_v be_v it_o not_o a_o continual_a burden_n to_o thou_o that_o thou_o can_v do_v no_o more_o for_o christ_n and_o be_v employ_v no_o more_o by_o he_o may_v thou_o not_o say_v safe_o before_o the_o lord_n who_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o it_o that_o thy_o heart_n be_v not_o take_v with_o any_o creature_n in_o this_o world_n what_o ever_o it_o be_v and_o if_o upon_o any_o yet_o upon_o no_o other_o account_n whatever_o but_o only_o as_o they_o be_v servant_n to_o thy_o lord_n and_o what_o ever_o their_o other_o adjourning_n be_v whether_o beauty_n or_o part_n or_o riches_n and_o honour_n or_o whatever_o none_o of_o all_o these_o do_v to_o thy_o remembrance_n advance_v any_o creature_n in_o the_o esteem_n of_o thy_o soul_n 8_o will_v thou_o not_o glad_o o_o my_o soul_n be_v put_v on_o other_o yea_o and_o bless_v the_o lord_n if_o he_o will_v please_v to_o enable_v thou_o to_o this_o work_n that_o see_v thou_o can_v do_v so_o little_a for_o he_o thyself_o that_o he_o will_v enable_v thou_o to_o spur_v on_o other_o to_o do_v more_o for_o he_o then_o thou_o can_v and_o be_v it_o not_o thy_o burden_n that_o through_o one_o temptation_n or_o other_o thou_o be_v so_o much_o prevent_v in_o this_o bless_a work_n also_o to_o what_o end_n else_o be_v thy_o word_n and_o writing_n to_o other_o and_o continue_v beg_v of_o their_o remembrance_n of_o thou_o before_o the_o lord_n 9_o be_v it_o not_o thy_o daily_a grief_n that_o both_o thyself_o and_o other_o move_v so_o slow_o in_o this_o work_n to_o see_v man_n lose_v their_o first_o love_n and_o walk_v not_o so_o right_o and_o faithful_o with_o christ_n as_o former_o be_v not_o this_o thy_o daily_a grief_n and_o burden_n and_o that_o which_o sometime_o even_o overwhelm_v thy_o spirit_n 10_o o_o my_o soul_n do_v thou_o not_o desire_v continual_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o have_v make_v thou_o his_o servant_n to_o serve_v he_o in_o any_o work_n for_o what_o be_v thou_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v choose_v thou_o out_o to_o be_v his_o servant_n when_o he_o may_v have_v take_v other_o that_o may_v have_v do_v more_o service_n yea_o do_v not_o thou_o bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n more_o in_a that_o he_o have_v make_v thou_o his_o servant_n then_o that_o he_o have_v give_v thou_o riches_n or_o honour_n or_o esteem_v in_o the_o world_n be_v these_o any_o thing_n in_o thy_o eye_n in_o comparison_n of_o be_v make_v his_o servant_n do_v not_o the_o lord_n bring_v thou_o to_o that_o pass_n before_o he_o appear_v in_o way_n of_o comfort_n to_o thou_o to_o make_v thou_o beg_v of_o he_o upon_o thy_o knee_n that_o thou_o may_v but_o be_v make_v a_o servant_n of_o he_o whatever_o else_o thou_o underwente_v though_o thou_o shall_v be_v make_v as_o the_o offscouring_a of_o all_o thing_n or_o force_v to_o beg_v thy_o bread_n in_o this_o world_n yet_o that_o thou_o may_v but_o be_v his_o servant_n 11_o o_o my_o soul_n may_v thou_o not_o say_v that_o infirmity_n be_v more_o afflictive_a because_o impediment_n in_o the_o service_n of_o christ_n then_o because_o they_o be_v affliction_n upon_o thou_o be_v thou_o not_o more_o trouble_v when_o sick_a weak_a in_o body_n mind_n or_o understanding_n because_o these_o unfit_a thou_o for_o the_o service_n of_o christ_n then_o because_o weak_a sick_a or_o low_a in_o esteem_n of_o other_o lord_n thou_o know_v there_o be_v much_o tremble_n upon_o my_o spirit_n about_o this_o whether_o i_o may_v say_v this_o before_o thou_o or_o no_o but_o if_o it_o be_v not_o thus_o with_o i_o o_o lord_n i_o beg_v of_o thou_o to_o work_v this_o frame_n in_o i_o for_o it_o be_v that_o i_o desire_v to_o press_v after_o daily_o and_o be_o grieve_v that_o i_o be_o no_o more_o clear_a in_o yet_o methinks_v sometime_o it_o be_v in_o some_o measure_n evident_a to_o my_o soul_n that_o the_o defect_n that_o accompany_v my_o service_n be_v more_o grievous_a and_o burdensome_a to_o i_o than_o the_o want_n of_o success_n of_o comfort_n though_o sometime_o i_o be_o quite_o dark_a as_o to_o the_o clear_n of_o this_o
those_o that_o be_v his_o subject_n from_o whence_o we_o be_v far_o exhort_v to_o look_v out_o what_o it_o be_v that_o we_o have_v that_o be_v everlasting_a tell_v we_o that_o wife_n and_o child_n and_o estate_n and_o the_o like_a they_o be_v not_o everlasting_a they_o and_o you_o must_v part_v oh_o therefore_o do_v not_o reckon_v these_o everlasting_a but_o if_o you_o have_v a_o christ_n or_o grace_n etc._n etc._n that_o shall_v be_v everlasting_a if_o god_n have_v begin_v any_o good_a work_n in_o your_o soul_n that_o shall_v be_v everlasting_a your_o infirmity_n weakness_n corruption_n they_o be_v not_o everlasting_a they_o shall_v die_v and_o wither_v and_o satan_n shall_v short_o be_v tread_v under_o your_o foot_n though_o satan_n and_o sin_n have_v domineer_v and_o make_v a_o stir_n in_o thy_o soul_n yet_o it_o shall_v not_o reign_v for_o ever_o there_o but_o grace_n shall_v reign_v by_o righteousness_n to_o eternal_a life_n therefore_o though_o your_o pain_n be_v great_a trouble_v sore_o temptation_n many_o yet_o know_v they_o be_v not_o everlasting_a and_o this_o may_v much_o comfort_v the_o saint_n yea_o if_o christ_n reign_v this_o may_v comfort_v the_o saint_n that_o their_o affliction_n shall_v pass_v only_o from_o christ_n not_o from_o the_o son_n of_o man_n not_o from_o the_o world_n nor_o satan_n nor_o the_o law_n without_o he_o no_o nor_o the_o restless_a motion_n of_o your_o heart_n that_o often_o misgive_v and_o terrify_v you_o your_o judgement_n shall_v pass_v from_o christ_n who_o throne_n be_v for_o ever_o and_o ever_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o abundant_o have_v the_o lord_n bow_v down_o to_o refresh_v as_o well_o as_o convince_v thou_o this_o day_n the_o lord_n grant_v it_o may_v abide_v upon_o thy_o spirit_n and_o help_v thou_o to_o live_v continual_o to_o his_o praise_n the_o 29._o of_o this_o 9_o month_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n to_o appear_v to_o my_o poor_a soul_n and_o speak_v some_o seasonable_a word_n that_o may_v be_v for_o my_o spiritual_a advantage_n and_o true_o though_o i_o be_v disappoint_v of_o he_o that_o i_o expect_v to_o hear_v yet_o do_v the_o lord_n by_o our_o btother_n lemall_a hand_n out_o a_o most_o seasonable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o desire_v may_v abide_v which_o be_v not_o to_o quench_v the_o spirit_n which_o the_o lord_n do_v real_o convince_v i_o that_o i_o have_v often_o do_v even_o of_o late_a which_o i_o desire_v the_o lord_n will_v help_v i_o against_o and_o make_v this_o a_o bless_a word_n to_o the_o end_n unto_o my_o soul_n the_o 30._o day_n of_o this_o 9_o month_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n that_o morning_n to_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o prepare_v my_o heart_n to_o meet_v with_o he_o and_o to_o manifest_v his_o presence_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n through_o his_o word_n that_o it_o may_v be_v a_o bless_a season_n wherein_o my_o soul_n may_v enjoy_v communion_n with_o himself_o and_o that_o to_o that_o end_n he_o will_v please_v to_o remove_v out_o of_o my_o soul_n whatever_o may_v make_v i_o unfit_a to_o meet_v with_o he_o desire_v much_o in_o my_o heart_n and_o endeavour_v to_o express_v it_o before_o the_o lord_n that_o my_o heart_n may_v once_o be_v gather_v out_o from_o all_o thing_n here_o below_o and_o fix_v only_o upon_o himself_o and_o jesus_n christ_n and_o that_o there_o may_v be_v something_o add_v to_o this_o work_n this_o day_n and_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v both_o for_o thy_o conviction_n and_o comfort_n in_o send_v his_o messenger_n as_o if_o it_o be_v on_o purpose_n with_o a_o errand_n from_o heaven_n to_o my_o soul_n it_o be_v a_o strange_a that_o preach_v this_o day_n and_o the_o subject_a he_o be_v upon_o be_v the_o loveliness_n of_o jesus_n christ_n canticle_n 5._o 16._o he_o be_v altogether_o lovely_a whence_o he_o full_o clear_v that_o there_o be_v nothing_o below_o christ_n that_o can_v be_v lovely_a or_o desirable_a and_o whatsoever_o can_v be_v desire_v it_o be_v abundant_o in_o he_o from_o whence_o the_o lord_n do_v real_o convince_v i_o of_o my_o folly_n in_o suffer_v of_o my_o affection_n to_o run_v out_o so_o strong_o on_o such_o vain_a object_n and_o so_o little_a on_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o in_o the_o close_a speak_v by_o way_n of_o comfort_n he_o have_v this_o passage_n that_o when_o ever_o any_o poor_a soul_n do_v come_v into_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n in_o prayer_n or_o hear_v or_o any_o ordinance_n with_o a_o desire_n to_o have_v such_o a_o corruption_n mortify_v though_o for_o end_n best_a know_v to_o the_o lord_n he_o may_v for_o the_o present_a suffer_v it_o in_o he_o yet_o will_v he_o record_v it_o in_o heaven_n as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v mortify_v for_o say_v he_o it_o be_v in_o the_o desire_n of_o that_o poor_a soul_n and_o though_o i_o suffer_v it_o yet_o i_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o if_o the_o soul_n have_v mortify_v it_o real_o and_o so_o for_o all_o other_o gracious_a desire_n the_o lord_n look_v upon_o they_o as_o he_o and_z as_o do_v though_o never_o attain_v as_o he_o do_v abraham_n offering_n up_o his_o son_n isaac_n and_o therefore_o he_o leave_v it_o upon_o record_n to_o posterity_n that_o he_o do_v offer_v he_o up_o though_o yet_o he_o do_v not_o do_v it_o because_o it_o be_v in_o his_o heart_n and_o intent_n to_o do_v it_o have_v not_o the_o lord_n prevent_v which_o together_o with_o many_o other_o precious_a hint_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o leave_v with_o i_o this_o day_n which_o i_o beseech_v he_o to_o bless_v i_o and_o make_v i_o to_o improve_v they_o to_o his_o praise_n and_o glory_n the_o second_o day_n of_o this_o 10._o month_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v if_o he_o see_v meet_v to_o add_v one_o other_o day_n to_o i_o to_o vouchsafe_v his_o face_n and_o presence_n to_o i_o and_o give_v my_o soul_n some_o sight_n of_o he_o and_o prepare_v my_o heart_n to_o meet_v with_o he_o empty_v out_o of_o it_o what_o ever_o may_v unfit_a i_o to_o come_v before_o he_o after_o which_o there_o fall_v a_o great_a damp_n upon_o my_o spirit_n consider_v that_o i_o have_v only_o in_o a_o formality_n seek_v this_o of_o he_o but_o can_v not_o expect_v that_o he_o shall_v continue_v always_o so_o gracious_o to_o a_o poor_a soul_n as_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o he_o be_v such_o a_o unworthy_a unfruitful_a creature_n that_o do_v so_o little_o improve_v all_o his_o appearance_n but_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n break_v through_o all_o thy_o unbelief_n and_o go_v beyond_o all_o thy_o expectation_n in_o provide_v a_o most_o bless_a glorious_a and_o seasonable_a word_n for_o thy_o soul_n answer_v the_o desire_n of_o thy_o heart_n also_o on_o the_o behalf_n of_o his_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o speak_v in_o his_o name_n this_o day_n shine_a forth_o glorious_o in_o and_o through_o he_o insomuch_o that_o himself_o do_v bless_v the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n that_o day_n for_o which_o bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n and_o oh_o that_o all_o that_o be_v within_o i_o can_v bless_v his_o holy_a name_n oh_o the_o sensible_a truth_n that_o be_v hint_v to_o my_o soul_n this_o day_n which_o i_o desire_v of_o the_o lord_n i_o may_v never_o forget_v which_o be_v hint_v from_o psal_n 45._o 7._o from_o which_o our_o pastor_n sweet_o open_v the_o love_n of_o christ_n to_o righteousness_n which_o love_n he_o show_v we_o be_v that_o that_o make_v he_o lovely_a to_o god_n and_o to_o his_o saint_n now_o that_o he_o do_v love_n as_o he_o show_v we_o appear_v in_o that_o this_o love_n to_o it_o be_v his_o very_a nature_n and_o therefore_o he_o be_v call_v the_o righteous_a and_o the_o lord_n our_o righteousness_n yea_o it_o appear_v in_o that_o he_o have_v through_o all_o kind_n of_o difficulty_n fulfil_v all_o righteousness_n therefore_o with_o desire_n i_o have_v desire_v say_v he_o to_o eat_v this_o passover_n that_o so_o he_o may_v be_v ready_a to_o suffer_v and_o so_o to_o satisfy_v divine_a justice_n which_o be_v one_o part_n of_o his_o fulfil_a righteousness_n yea_o he_o show_v that_o he_o love_v righteousness_n in_o that_o salvation_n that_o he_o have_v wrought_v for_o we_o merit_v by_o a_o full_a satisfaction_n to_o justice_n that_o so_o justice_n may_v glory_v in_o our_o salvation_n as_o well_o as_o mercy_n for_o however_o wereceive_v all_o by_o grace_n yet_o christ_n wrought_v it_o out_o by_o justice_n and_o pay_v a_o full_a price_n for_o it_o which_o show_v his_o love_n to_o righteousness_n and_o justice_n so_o that_o what_o ever_o god_n have_v promise_v believer_n in_o his_o word_n it_o be_v a_o merit_a promise_n that_o christ_n have_v buy_v and_o pay_v
and_o pass_v judgement_n upon_o he_o and_o they_o die_v thou_o shall_v die_v temporal_o spiritual_o and_o eternal_o and_o there_o shall_v be_v enmity_n between_o thy_o seed_n and_o the_o woman_n that_o most_o of_o thy_o seed_n shall_v take_v in_o with_o satan_n and_o perish_v eternal_o how_o many_o million_o perish_v upon_o the_o account_n of_o that_o one_o sin_n so_o the_o angel_n they_o fall_v present_o and_o irrecoverable_o for_o that_o one_o sin_n of_o pride_n though_o such_o glorious_a creature_n who_o can_v do_v more_o than_o thousand_o of_o man_n and_o may_v have_v be_v so_o useful_a to_o the_o church_n be_v spiritual_a have_v they_o stand_v who_o can_v immediate_o comfort_v when_o no_o other_o creature_n can_v yea_o can_v have_v feed_v eli_n ah_n and_o daniel_n yet_o these_o for_o that_o sin_n perish_v eternal_o 2._o it_o appear_v by_o the_o way_n he_o take_v to_o repel_v it_o sin_n have_v get_v the_o throne_n and_o poor_a man_n bring_v into_o a_o perish_a condition_n by_o it_o and_o not_o able_a to_o oppose_v it_o now_o christ_n hate_v it_o so_o that_o the_o contest_v now_o come_v between_o christ_n and_o sin_n and_o he_o will_v die_v to_o destroy_v it_o 3._o it_o appear_v by_o the_o dreadfulness_n of_o the_o doom_n of_o those_o that_o be_v overpower_v by_o sin_n who_o be_v judge_v to_o eternal_a fire_n without_o pity_n or_o recovery_n than_o he_o come_v to_o show_v we_o how_o lovely_a christ_n be_v to_o the_o saint_n for_o hate_v iniquity_n and_o o_o my_o soul_n with_o what_o mighty_a power_n and_o weight_n do_v this_o fall_n upon_o thy_o heart_n as_o 1._o he_o show_v we_o that_o christ_n loveliness_n in_o this_o attribute_n arise_v from_o the_o unanimity_n and_o one-ness_a of_o mind_n between_o christ_n and_o a_o believer_n in_o this_o hatred_n of_o he_o for_o as_o christ_n hate_v the_o sin_n but_o love_v the_o believer_n so_o the_o believer_n hate_v iniquity_n but_o love_v christ_n so_o that_o the_o love_n of_o both_o person_n centre_n in_o one_o and_o their_o hatred_n in_o one_o and_o their_o love_n meet_v in_o each_o other_o person_n and_o their_o hatred_n also_o and_o that_o believer_n hate_v sin_n so_o that_o nothing_o can_v breed_v more_o love_n than_o this_o do_v christ_n say_v i_o hate_v iniquity_n oh_o therefore_o hate_v it_o more_o you_o believer_n yea_o pursue_v the_o life_n of_o it_o and_o i_o appeal_v to_o the_o lord_n if_o i_o do_v not_o hate_v it_o with_o a_o perfect_a hatred_n 2._o christ_n be_v lovely_a for_o hate_v sin_n because_o this_o attribute_n set_v all_o his_o attribute_n on_o work_n against_o all_o the_o enemy_n of_o a_o believer_n the_o poor_a soul_n hate_v sin_n but_o be_v not_o able_a to_o deal_v with_o it_o but_o christ_n so_o hate_v it_o that_o he_o be_v able_a to_o conquer_v it_o oh_o what_o a_o bless_a sight_n of_o christ_n be_v this_o that_o though_o the_o poor_a soul_n be_v overpower_v with_o sin_n daily_a yet_o that_o christ_n hate_v it_o and_o be_v engae_v against_o it_o as_o hate_v of_o he_o so_o that_o now_o either_o chriist_n or_o it_o must_v perish_v oh_o what_o a_o lovely_a sight_n be_v this_o because_o out_o of_o this_o hatred_n of_o christ_n come_v the_o ruin_n of_o the_o soul_n enemy_n sin_n and_o satan_n which_o seek_v thy_o ruin_n daily_a but_o bless_v be_v god_n that_o christ_n hate_v they_o and_o will_v certain_o ruin_v they_o either_o he_o or_o sin_n must_v cow_v oh_o what_o comfort_n be_v this_o that_o we_o poor_a creature_n have_v in_o christ_n that_o when_o we_o come_v even_o to_o struggle_v with_o sin_n and_o satan_n christ_n like_o fire_n will_v consume_v and_o burn_v they_o yea_o as_o he_o show_v this_o hatred_n be_v a_o act_n of_o christ_n will_n and_o if_o he_o have_v not_o his_o will_n where_o be_v his_o godhead_n therefore_o the_o quarrel_n be_v between_o the_o will_n of_o christ_n and_o the_o will_n of_o sin_n i_o will_v damn_v thou_o to_o hell_n say_v sin_n and_o satan_n but_o i_o will_v kill_v thou_o o_o sin_n and_o satan_n say_v christ_n so_o as_o the_o quarrel_n be_v not_o so_o much_o for_o believer_n person_n as_o for_o christ_n will_n and_o christ_n will_v certain_o have_v his_o will_n oh_o bless_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n 3._o christ_n be_v lovely_a in_o this_o because_o the_o saint_n see_v the_o glory_n of_o all_o christ_n other_o excellency_n through_o this_o the_o wicked_a see_v and_o fall_v at_o the_o dread_n of_o christ_n hatred_n but_o see_v not_o the_o justness_n and_o righteousness_n of_o all_o christ_n administration_n as_o the_o saint_n do_v they_o can_v see_v the_o justness_n and_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n in_o damn_v of_o man_n to_o hell_n for_o sin_n yea_o the_o saint_n can_v behold_v christ_n love_n to_o they_o in_o this_o hatred_n of_o sin_n this_o 10_o of_o this_o month_n be_v the_o same_o lord_n day_n in_o the_o evening_n while_o i_o be_v endeavour_v to_o bless_v and_o praise_v the_o name_n of_o this_o my_o glorious_a god_n for_o his_o eminent_a appearance_n this_o day_n which_o i_o desire_v never_o to_o forget_v it_o fall_v upon_o my_o heart_n among_o other_o thing_n to_o tell_v the_o lord_n that_o see_v he_o have_v cast_v such_o a_o hint_n upon_o my_o heart_n that_o the_o best_a thankfulness_n for_o mercy_n receive_v be_v to_o gather_v in_o upon_o god_n for_o more_o mercy_n i_o do_v therefore_o desire_n that_o to_o all_o his_o abundant_a appearance_n to_o my_o soul_n this_o day_n he_o will_v please_v to_o add_v this_o mercy_n which_o i_o desire_v to_o plead_v with_o he_o for_o this_o evening_n that_o as_o he_o have_v glorious_o unvail_v through_o his_o word_n the_o hatred_n of_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n against_o sin_n that_o he_o will_v now_o also_o show_v its_o evil_n by_o experience_n that_o it_o may_v appear_v that_o real_o he_o do_v hate_v sin_n yea_o every_o sin_n in_o my_o soul_n by_o his_o pursue_v the_o life_n and_o draw_v out_o the_o blood_n of_o it_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o if_o any_o sin_n be_v the_o object_n of_o the_o hatred_n of_o my_o soul_n than_o needs_o must_v this_o corruption_n of_o i_o in_o a_o special_a manner_n be_v so_o diametrical_o opposite_a to_o he_o as_o the_o set_n up_o of_o any_o thing_n or_o creature_n in_o his_o throne_n yea_o even_o at_o this_o present_a wherein_o he_o have_v so_o glorious_o appear_v that_o the_o consolation_n of_o god_n be_v not_o small_a to_o my_o soul_n they_o come_v with_o such_o mighty_a power_n pray_v he_o in_o a_o special_a manner_n to_o pursue_v the_o body_n of_o this_o corruption_n and_o let_v my_o soul_n find_v that_o real_o it_o be_v the_o object_n of_o the_o hatred_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o shall_v certain_o be_v ruin_v by_o he_o have_v get_v a_o great_a cold_a which_o do_v somewhat_o distemper_v i_o i_o be_v in_o a_o great_a question_n whether_o i_o shall_v the_o twenty_o of_o this_o ten_o month_n go_v to_o the_o ordinance_n or_o no_o at_o last_o i_o desire_v to_o give_v it_o up_o to_o the_o lord_n bseech_v he_o to_o direct_v i_o what_o to_o do_v desire_v only_o to_o be_v lead_v by_o he_o at_o last_o i_o resolve_v god_n will_v to_o wait_v upon_o he_o this_o day_n at_o fulham_n and_o as_o for_o the_o next_o day_n let_v the_o lord_n do_v with_o i_o what_o he_o will_v whether_o to_o fit_v i_o to_o go_v or_o disable_v i_o have_v many_o fear_n upon_o my_o spirit_n concern_v my_o go_n whether_o it_o be_v a_o right_n and_o pure_a aim_v at_o god_n and_o seek_v his_o presence_n yea_o or_o no_o be_v not_o able_a to_o satisfy_v myself_o in_o this_o question_n thus_o i_o say_v desire_v the_o lord_n appearance_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o speak_v some_o word_n to_o he_o for_o my_o spiritual_a advantage_n i_o go_v this_o day_n to_o fulham_n where_o the_o lord_n show_v i_o what_o a_o bless_a thing_n it_o be_v to_o have_v a_o sight_n of_o god_n from_o those_o word_n in_o matt._n 13._o bless_a be_v the_o eye_n that_o see_v the_o thing_n you_o see_v and_o the_o ear_n that_o hear_v the_o thing_n you_o hear_v whence_o the_o lord_n show_v i_o what_o a_o abundant_a cause_n i_o have_v to_o bless_v he_o for_o they_o those_o many_o sight_n he_o have_v give_v i_o of_o himself_o when_o he_o have_v leave_v so_o many_o in_o the_o dark_a and_o never_o give_v they_o one_o glimpse_n of_o himself_o but_o be_v exceed_o ill_a and_o weary_a this_o night_n i_o go_v to_o bed_v betimes_o wait_v what_o the_o lord_n will_v do_v with_o i_o and_o true_o in_o the_o morning_n i_o think_v i_o find_v myself_o unfit_a to_o go_v forth_o consider_v also_o our_o meeting_n the_o next_o day_n which_o haply_o the_o lord_n may_v make_v i_o more_o fit_a to_o enjoy_v yet_o i_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o real_o think_v the_o trouble_n that_o lie_v upon_o my_o spirit_n about_o the_o straightness_n of_o my_o end_n in_o go_v do_v more_o discourage_v i_o then_o the_o unfitness_n of_o my_o body_n but_o what_o through_o the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o i_o dare_v not_o go_v forth_o this_o 21._o day_n and_o so_o my_o mother_n and_o aunt_n dogget_n only_o go_v and_o i_o stay_v at_o home_n but_o when_o i_o arise_v i_o find_v myself_o pretty_a well_o so_o as_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v somewhat_o trouble_v that_o i_o have_v stay_v at_o home_n fear_v that_o this_o may_v be_v only_o a_o subtle_a device_n of_o satan_n to_o hinder_v i_o of_o this_o opportunity_n and_o so_o turn_v myself_o to_o the_o lord_n i_o beseech_v he_o that_o if_o it_o be_v he_o that_o have_v this_o day_n prevent_v i_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o make_v it_o up_o to_o my_o soul_n some_o other_o way_n by_o hint_v out_o something_o by_o his_o spirit_n to_o my_o heart_n that_o may_v be_v for_o my_o spiritual_a advantage_n and_o true_o while_o i_o be_v endeavour_v to_o press_v this_o upon_o the_o lord_n immediate_o after_o there_o fall_v this_o apprehension_n upon_o my_o heart_n or_o rather_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o to_o drop_v it_o which_o be_v this_o oh_o lord_n how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o my_o soul_n be_v so_o exceed_o take_v with_o any_o spark_n of_o thy_o gloous_a image_n in_o poor_a mortal_a creature_n shall_v at_o the_o present_a rebel_n and_o murmur_v at_o thy_o holy_a and_o bless_a will_n which_o be_v part_n of_o thy_o essential_a glory_n if_o the_o sight_n of_o thy_o image_n be_v so_o please_v to_o i_o why_o then_o be_v not_o the_o sight_n of_o thy_o will_n which_o be_v thyself_o much_o more_o glorious_a than_o the_o ray_n of_o thy_o that_o shine_n upon_o thy_o creature_n why_o be_v not_o this_o as_o please_a as_o delightful_a and_o contentful_a to_o i_o which_o hint_n i_o can_v not_o but_o look_v upon_o as_o a_o real_a answer_n of_o this_o desire_n the_o lord_n make_v it_o of_o use_n to_o i_o i_o be_o sure_a it_o be_v such_o a_o consideration_n and_o meditation_n that_o if_o the_o lord_n will_v but_o please_v to_o set_v it_o home_o with_o power_n may_v be_v of_o abundant_a advantage_n to_o my_o wicked_a spirit_n the_o lord_n in_o mercy_n for_o christ_n sake_n make_v it_o so_o the_o 22._o of_o this_o ten_o month_n be_v a_o day_n appoint_v for_o our_o church-meeting_a i_o earnest_o beseech_v the_o lord_n that_o if_o he_o see_v it_o meet_v to_o carry_v i_o forth_o this_o day_n he_o will_v also_o go_v along_o with_o i_o and_o vouchsafe_v his_o gracious_a presence_n to_o i_o in_o speak_v some_o seasonable_a word_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o may_v appear_v even_o to_o come_v from_o himself_o beg_v also_o his_o presence_n in_o and_o through_o all_o these_o his_o instrument_n which_o he_o shall_v please_v to_o make_v use_n of_o this_o day_n and_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o glorious_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o appear_v this_o day_n in_o cheer_v and_o refresh_v thy_o poor_a droop_a spirit_n even_o so_o as_o thou_o be_v not_o able_a to_o continue_v thyself_o in_o this_o wonderful_a appearance_n of_o god_n cast_v they_o upon_o so_o suitable_a a_o word_n even_o to_o the_o estate_n of_o my_o poor_a soul_n at_o this_o present_a and_o that_o scripture_n our_o brother_n oâ—…_n begin_v with_o and_o be_v after_o pursue_v sweet_o by_o our_o dear_a pastor_n be_v the_o 73_o â—sa_fw-la the_o end_n of_o the_o three_o book_n finis_fw-la
in_o his_o family_n upon_o his_o child_n and_o servant_n and_o by_o this_o mean_v this_o daughter_n and_o one_o of_o his_o servant_n be_v bring_v home_o unto_o the_o lord_n and_o which_o i_o mention_v as_o a_o alarm_n to_o the_o saint_n to_o the_o practice_n of_o this_o duty_n which_o seem_v in_o this_o licentious_a age_n to_o be_v so_o great_o neglect_v she_o have_v this_o honour_n to_o enjoy_v the_o endear_a affection_n of_o all_o saint_n that_o converse_v with_o she_o as_o be_v eminent_a in_o these_o grace_n first_o in_o love_n to_o all_o saint_n though_o of_o different_a judgement_n where_o she_o discern_v any_o character_n of_o christ_n image_n her_o heart_n delight_v in_o they_o which_o grace_n shine_v the_o more_o clear_o because_o she_o live_v in_o a_o time_n wherein_o the_o contrary_a evil_n must_v prevail_v again_o she_o be_v eminent_o exemplary_a in_o that_o holy_a art_n of_o the_o improvement_n of_o the_o society_n of_o the_o saint_n by_o serious_a propound_v of_o prepare_a question_n about_o matter_n of_o most_o infinite_a concernment_n with_o such_o wisdom_n in_o search_v out_o the_o deep_a of_o the_o treasure_n god_n have_v lay_v up_o in_o other_o heart_n that_o she_o grow_v abundant_o in_o experimental_a knowledge_n of_o save_a truth_n and_o be_v able_a and_o ready_a to_o communicate_v rich_o unto_o other_o she_o be_v a_o most_o diligent_a christian_a in_o attend_v all_o the_o ordinance_n and_o in_o every_o administration_n do_v hearken_v what_o god_n say_v to_o her_o soul_n and_o as_o her_o soul_n wait_v for_o some_o discovery_n of_o god_n so_o the_o shine_a forth_o of_o god_n in_o his_o counsel_n and_o comfort_n she_o do_v abundant_o enjoy_v she_o be_v a_o careful_a observer_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n and_o find_v such_o profit_n in_o the_o way_n of_o the_o almighty_a that_o his_o day_n be_v her_o delight_n and_o she_o requent_o be_v fill_v in_o her_o soul_n as_o with_o marrow_n and_o fatness_n she_o be_v a_o steady_a christian_a in_o reel_a time_n and_o receive_v nothing_o for_o truth_n but_o what_o she_o will_v often_o weigh_v in_o the_o balance_n or_o the_o sanctuary_n and_o upon_o solid_a ground_n lay_v up_o in_o her_o heart_n or_o put_v forth_o in_o her_o practice_n and_o for_o her_o diligence_n and_o industry_n about_o heavenly_a thing_n she_o so_o far_o abound_v that_o whoever_o have_v the_o sight_n of_o her_o labour_n will_v not_o easy_o conceive_v so_o much_o can_v be_v do_v in_o one_o who_o life_n be_v so_o short_a she_o write_v her_o daily_a meditation_n upon_o the_o holy_a book_n of_o god_n which_o she_o keep_v in_o a_o book_n fair_a write_v she_o contract_v all_o she_o hear_v in_o the_o public_a ministry_n into_o a_o method_n &_o in_o a_o book_n in_o folio_n have_v fair_o transcribe_v some_o part_n of_o that_o work_n which_o will_v have_v contain_v the_o substance_n of_o all_o the_o labour_n of_o the_o minister_n of_o christ_n who_o ministry_n she_o be_v partaker_n of_o and_o in_o another_o have_v write_v all_o the_o attribute_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n that_o she_o can_v find_v in_o scripture_n for_o the_o strengthen_n of_o the_o say_v of_o believer_n the_o truth_n be_v she_o be_v a_o soul_n whole_o dedicate_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o in_o her_o whole_a conversation_n humble_a and_o holy_a and_o tender-hearted_a one_o true_o wean_v from_o this_o world_n weary_a of_o it_o and_o often_o breathe_v out_o holy_a long_n to_o be_v with_o christ_n frequent_o say_v what_o be_v there_o in_o this_o dark_a world_n that_o shall_v cause_v a_o christian_n to_o desire_v to_o continue_v in_o it_o and_o as_o she_o long_v to_o be_v at_o home_n so_o the_o lord_n hasten_v the_o time_n and_o in_o her_o tender_a year_n gather_v she_o to_o himself_o and_o in_o her_o death_n she_o show_v forth_o a_o gracious_a frame_n of_o spirit_n and_o with_o holy_a confidence_n in_o christ_n resign_v herself_o to_o he_o and_o such_o be_v her_o holy_a jealousy_n of_o any_o pride_n or_o hypocrisy_n that_o may_v arise_v by_o discover_v of_o her_o labour_n that_o until_o she_o fall_v asleep_a in_o the_o lord_n her_o writing_n come_v not_o to_o the_o view_n of_o any_o thus_o this_o bless_a soul_n walk_v with_o the_o lord_n and_o these_o thing_n be_v record_v of_o she_o for_o our_o example_n that_o we_o may_v tread_v in_o her_o step_n and_o be_v follower_n of_o she_o as_o he_o she_o follow_v christ_n which_o be_v the_o hearty_a desire_n of_o he_o who_o be_v a_o servant_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o church_n isaac_n knight_n o_o my_o soul_n what_o have_v be_v the_o method_n and_o manner_n of_o the_o lord_n work_v that_o effectual_a work_n of_o he_o upon_o thy_o heart_n which_o thou_o have_v some_o comfortable_a hope_n be_v begin_v by_o he_o and_o shall_v be_v carry_v on_o in_o thy_o soul_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o his_o own_o grace_n set_v they_o down_o as_o the_o lord_n shall_v enable_v thou_o according_a as_o he_o have_v be_v please_v from_o time_n to_o time_n and_o from_o year_n to_o year_n to_o make_v it_o out_o to_o thou_o that_o so_o if_o the_o lord_n please_v it_o may_v stand_v thou_o instead_o in_o a_o evil_a day_n i_o mean_v a_o day_n of_o inward_a or_o outward_a affliction_n and_o the_o lord_n help_v thou_o to_o do_v it_o as_o in_o his_o sight_n who_o be_v the_o searcher_n of_o all_o heart_n and_o know_v better_a than_o thou_o do_v what_o work_v himself_o have_v wrought_v in_o thou_o but_o so_o far_o as_o he_o have_v or_o shall_v please_v to_o enable_v thou_o to_o discern_v it_o in_o thy_o own_o heart_n set_v it_o down_o and_o let_v it_o lie_v upon_o record_n against_o all_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n that_o great_a adversary_n of_o thy_o soul_n in_o the_o year_n 1635_o when_o i_o be_v yet_o very_o young_a being_n not_o at_o the_o most_o full_a nine_o year_n old_a the_o lord_n be_v please_v through_o the_o preach_n of_o his_o word_n as_o i_o conceive_v together_o with_o my_o father_n repeat_v and_o far_a press_v it_o home_o upon_o our_o spirit_n to_o begin_v to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n and_o to_o give_v in_o some_o kind_n of_o desire_n after_o the_o best_a thing_n whereupon_o i_o begin_v to_o take_v some_o delight_n in_o hear_v the_o word_n but_o most_o of_o all_o in_o read_v to_o myself_o in_o which_o i_o then_o spend_v many_o hour_n if_o not_o whole_a day_n the_o lord_n set_v the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o so_o home_o upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o to_o convince_v i_o both_o of_o my_o sinful_a and_o miserable_a condition_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o continual_a breach_n of_o his_o holy_a law_n and_o grieve_v the_o spirit_n of_o my_o parent_n the_o which_o be_v much_o set_v home_o upon_o i_o by_o read_v mr._n dod_n upon_o the_o commandment_n and_o the_o like_a treatise_n whereupon_o i_o have_v a_o temptation_n to_o curse_v the_o day_n of_o my_o birth_n which_o in_o some_o measure_n i_o consent_v unto_o often_o wish_v that_o i_o have_v never_o be_v bear_v or_o at_o the_o least_o have_v dye_v from_o the_o breast_n as_o i_o see_v some_o of_o my_o brother_n esteem_v their_o condition_n to_o be_v much_o better_a than_o i_o they_o never_o live_v to_o commit_v any_o actual_a sin_n and_o therefore_o as_o i_o then_o think_v shall_v without_o all_o doubt_n go_v to_o heaven_n but_o for_o myself_o i_o do_v real_o think_v and_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v certain_o go_v to_o hell_n then_o be_v put_v out_o to_o board_n for_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n to_o one_o who_o pretend_v much_o skill_n and_o ability_n for_o the_o cure_n of_o some_o weakness_n that_o i_o then_o lay_v under_o which_o be_v a_o very_a profane_a family_n although_o i_o be_v yet_o very_o young_a yet_o be_v so_o contrary_a to_o those_o way_n i_o have_v be_v bring_v up_o in_o to_o come_v now_o to_o hear_v continual_a curse_v and_o swear_v and_o profane_v the_o lord_n day_n and_o be_v force_v to_o be_v in_o their_o company_n not_o dare_v by_o reason_n of_o those_o fear_n i_o then_o lay_v under_o to_o be_v alone_o and_o so_o sometime_o prevail_v with_o once_o or_o twice_o to_o play_v upon_o the_o lord_n day_n i_o think_v myself_o all_o this_o while_n to_o be_v in_o the_o belly_n of_o hell_n be_v thereunto_o condemn_v by_o my_o own_o conscience_n so_o that_o i_o can_v receive_v no_o contentment_n in_o all_o the_o fullness_n of_o those_o outward_a thing_n which_o i_o there_o enjoy_v but_o be_v restless_a until_o i_o get_v home_o again_o be_v yet_o only_o convince_v of_o my_o actual_a evil_n but_o when_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v by_o the_o ministry_n of_o his_o word_n and_o other_o private_a instruction_n go_v along_o with_o it_o to_o convince_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n of_o my_o original_a corruption_n that_o i_o bring_v into_o the_o
into_o my_o spirit_n to_o beat_v i_o off_o from_o that_o pitch_n of_o faith_n which_o i_o then_o find_v my_o spirit_n breathe_v after_o viz._n that_o where_o the_o lord_n give_v such_o great_a strength_n of_o faith_n or_o any_o other_o grace_n he_o give_v also_o as_o great_a trial_n and_o that_o therefore_o if_o i_o have_v the_o one_o i_o must_v expect_v the_o other_o also_o and_o so_o shall_v not_o only_o be_v a_o mean_n to_o pull_v down_o sorrow_n affliction_n and_o trial_n upon_o my_o own_o head_n but_o also_o in_o lie_v under_o they_o and_o so_o sad_o dishonour_n god_n as_o now_o i_o do_v which_o at_o the_o present_a do_v somewhat_o take_v of_o the_o edge_n of_o my_o affection_n and_o weaken_v my_o former_a desire_n until_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o discover_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v a_o mere_a temptation_n whether_o from_o satan_n or_o my_o own_o heart_n my_o deceitful_a but_o subtle_a enemy_n to_o scare_v i_o with_o such_o fear_n which_o temptation_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o enable_v i_o to_o overcome_v with_o grief_n that_o i_o shall_v in_o the_o least_o parley_n with_o it_o and_o again_o to_o renew_v my_o former_a desire_n and_o withal_o to_o beg_v his_o continual_a presence_n with_o i_o in_o all_o whatever_o trial_n and_o condition_n he_o shall_v bring_v i_o under_o that_o he_o will_v keep_v i_o from_o dishonour_v he_o under_o they_o and_o manifest_v himself_o to_o i_o through_o they_o and_o then_o to_o do_v with_o i_o as_o seem_v he_o good_a a_o few_o day_n after_o as_o i_o be_v one_o evening_n write_v a_o letter_n unto_o a_o dear_a kinswoman_n of_o i_o who_o at_o that_o time_n lie_v under_o some_o sad_a dispensation_n from_o the_o lord_n whereupon_o i_o take_v occasion_n to_o urge_v that_o promise_n upon_o she_o in_o rom._n 8._o 28._o and_o we_o know_v that_o all_o thing_n work_v together_o for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n etc._n etc._n which_o while_o i_o be_v endeavour_v to_o press_v upon_o she_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o cause_v it_o to_o fall_v with_o mighty_a power_n upon_o my_o heart_n which_o be_v set_v home_o upon_o my_o spirit_n not_o only_o as_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v rest_v upon_o and_o expect_v the_o performance_n of_o but_o as_o that_o which_o i_o have_v have_v much_o experience_n through_o all_o the_o deal_n of_o god_n with_o i_o to_o have_v be_v continual_o make_v good_a so_o that_o the_o experience_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o of_o his_o deal_n with_o my_o soul_n for_o many_o year_n in_o all_o the_o affliction_n and_o exercise_n i_o have_v lyen_fw-we under_o whether_o in_o body_n or_o mind_n in_o loss_n of_o relation_n or_o comfort_n etc._n etc._n yea_o the_o very_a withhold_n â—he_v light_a of_o god_n face_n which_o be_v life_n itself_o â—_o do_v testify_v to_o the_o truth_n of_o this_o word_n have_v be_v all_o of_o they_o by_o the_o lord_n bring_v and_o wrought_v about_o for_o my_o good_a the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o cleave_v the_o close_a to_o himself_o and_o take_v the_o fast_o hold_v of_o he_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o all_o which_o there_o fall_v this_o far_a hint_n with_o some_o weight_n upon_o my_o spirit_n that_o it_o shall_v also_o be_v even_o so_o with_o i_o in_o respect_n of_o those_o corruption_n that_o i_o be_v still_o pester_v with_o and_o groan_v under_o but_o there_o be_v yet_o especial_o at_o some_o time_n many_o confuse_a fear_n upon_o my_o spirit_n which_o i_o can_v give_v very_o little_a reason_n for_o upon_o the_o second_o day_n of_o the_o eleven_o month_n 1652._o be_v the_o first_o day_n of_o the_o week_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v yet_o further_o to_o appear_v with_o a_o very_a seasonable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n which_o do_v much_o refresh_v it_o it_o be_v thus_o mr._n knight_n be_v in_o the_o afternoon_n in_o his_o ministry_n at_o fulham_n upon_o that_o scripture_n in_o heb._n 2._o 1_o 2_o 3._o stir_v we_o up_o to_o hearken_v diligent_o to_o jesus_n christ_n and_o not_o to_o let_v any_o of_o his_o word_n at_o any_o timeslip_n out_o of_o our_o heart_n whence_o also_o he_o take_v occasion_n to_o comfort_v the_o people_n of_o god_n upon_o this_o account_n that_o christ_n shall_v think_v their_o ear_n worthy_a of_o hear_v his_o voice_n &_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o always_o send_v his_o messenger_n nor_o make_v use_n of_o instrument_n but_o shall_v often_o rather_o as_o it_o be_v choose_v to_o speak_v himsel_n at_o which_o word_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o touch_v my_o heart_n and_o to_o make_v it_o sweet_o to_o melt_v before_o he_o with_o joy_n to_o think_v that_o christ_n shall_v thus_o speak_v to_o my_o soul_n as_o i_o now_o see_v he_o have_v do_v by_o he_o 2_o year_n before_o who_o when_o he_o have_v visit_v i_o with_o that_o sore_a loss_n of_o my_o dear_a parent_n and_o cast_v i_o and_o my_o mother_n both_o upon_o our_o sick_a bed_n neither_o of_o we_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v to_o each_o other_o yea_o when_o no_o friend_n or_o creature_n either_o can_v or_o do_v endeavour_v to_o speak_v a_o word_n of_o comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n which_o be_v in_o a_o most_o sad_a condition_n for_o want_n of_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o god_n under_o all_o these_o dispensation_n of_o his_o towards_o i_o who_o have_v as_o it_o be_v by_o his_o own_o hand_n as_o i_o now_o real_o believe_v he_o do_v shut_v up_o and_o stop_v all_o other_o mouth_n yet_o that_o now_o the_o lord_n jesus_n shall_v choose_v to_o speak_v himself_o as_o i_o find_v he_o have_v do_v in_o some_o measure_n support_v my_o spirit_n which_o be_v ready_a to_o sink_v and_o give_v up_o under_o the_o heavy_a burden_n it_o lay_v both_o of_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n and_o wrath_n all_o which_o be_v put_v together_o oh_o how_o do_v the_o sight_n of_o his_o love_n both_o melt_v and_o cheer_v my_o heart_n then_o do_v the_o lord_n also_o the_o next_o day_n be_v the_o second_o day_n of_o the_o same_o week_n bring_v to_o my_o mimd_n and_o thought_n those_o word_n that_o be_v record_v of_o job_n in_o job_n 9_o 11._o which_o after_o i_o have_v pause_v a_o little_a upon_o contrary_a to_o my_o intention_n or_o thought_n i_o go_v on_o still_o read_v though_o but_o in_o a_o brief_a quick_a way_n be_v straighten_v of_o time_n for_o it_o be_v late_o in_o the_o evening_n but_o i_o take_v a_o view_n of_o the_o whole_a book_n of_o job_n until_o i_o come_v to_o the_o end_n of_o it_o and_o the_o thing_n in_o general_a that_o be_v hint_v to_o i_o and_o fall_v upon_o my_o spirit_n from_o the_o whole_a be_v this_o that_o none_o of_o all_o job_n friend_n who_o endeavour_v to_o speak_v to_o he_o can_v neither_o hint_n out_o a_o word_n of_o comfort_n or_o of_o conviction_n to_o he_o in_o this_o sad_a estate_n none_o of_o all_o their_o word_n take_v hold_v at_o all_o upon_o his_o spirit_n until_o god_n himself_o come_v to_o speak_v and_o then_o one_o word_n of_o god_n do_v it_o make_v he_o cry_v out_o job_n 40._o 45._o behold_v i_o be_o vile_a what_o shall_v i_o answer_v thou_o i_o will_v lay_v my_o hand_n upon_o my_o mouth_n once_o have_v i_o speak_v but_o i_o will_v not_o answer_v yea_o twice_o but_o i_o will_v proceed_v no_o further_o and_o again_o job_n 42._o 5_o 6._o i_o have_v hear_v of_o thou_o by_o the_o hear_n of_o the_o ear_n but_o now_o my_o eye_n see_v thou_o therefore_o i_o abhor_v myself_o and_o repent_v in_o dust_n and_o ash_n that_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v when_o god_n speak_v which_o cause_v i_o strong_o to_o reflect_v upon_o my_o own_o heart_n thereby_o call_v to_o mind_n how_o many_o instruction_n conviction_n and_o comfort_n have_v be_v from_o time_n to_o time_n for_o many_o year_n pass_v by_o several_a friend_n and_o servant_n of_o god_n hold_v out_o to_o i_o which_o never_o take_v any_o hold_n at_o all_o upon_o my_o spirit_n but_o when_o god_n himself_o will_v take_v in_o hand_n to_o speak_v he_o can_v bring_v thing_n past_a and_o go_v quite_o back_o again_o as_o he_o do_v the_o sun_n upon_o it_o he_o dial_n of_o ahaz_n 2_o king_n 22._o 11._o and_o bring_v they_o fresh_a into_o memory_n and_o cause_n the_o soul_n to_o see_v his_o hand_n and_o work_v in_o all_o and_o so_o to_o abhor_v itself_o for_o those_o abominable_a unbelieved_a thought_n and_o jealousy_n of_o god_n that_o have_v be_v upon_o its_o heart_n when_o as_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o it_o be_v take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o beget_v in_o the_o soul_n good_a and_o honourable_a thought_n of_o he_o then_o hear_v this_o same_o night_n that_o mr._n simpson_n be_v next_o morning_n be_v the_o three_o day_n of_o this_o week_n to_o begin_v his_o lecture_n in_o friday_n street_n
world_n to_o see_v with_o what_o countenance_n my_o lord_n look_v upon_o this_o and_o the_o other_o action_n be_v i_o hope_v desirous_a i_o be_o sure_a if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o to_o see_v the_o will_n of_o my_o god_n in_o every_o promise_n providence_n and_o administration_n 4_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v i_o faithful_a in_o that_o he_o have_v put_v into_o my_o soul_n this_o earnest_a desire_n that_o my_o end_n in_o all_o i_o do_v may_v only_o be_v to_o seek_v the_o advancement_n of_o he_o my_o lord_n who_o i_o desire_v only_o to_o serve_v daily_o beg_v of_o he_o i_o may_v no_o more_o live_v to_o myself_o as_o i_o have_v too_o much_o and_o have_v too_o long_o do_v yea_o when_o i_o find_v any_o thing_n of_o myself_o or_o self-end_n to_o appear_v or_o break_v forth_o though_o but_o in_o the_o bud_n be_v it_o not_o bitter_a to_o my_o soul_n and_o such_o as_o imbitter_v the_o best_a action_n to_o i_o though_o otherwise_o never_o so_o good_a and_o this_o desire_n of_o serve_v the_o lord_n i_o may_v upon_o experience_n say_v i_o find_v to_o differ_v not_o only_o from_o that_o slavish_a fear_n that_o be_v in_o other_o i_o will_v not_o say_v so_o though_o i_o suppose_v it_o to_o be_v true_a also_o but_o from_o that_o slavish_a fear_n that_o do_v too_o much_o predominate_v in_o my_o own_o poor_a soul_n which_o do_v in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o bondage_n cause_v i_o to_o fear_v rather_o than_o love_v he_o but_o now_o the_o lord_n have_v in_o some_o measure_n be_v screw_v up_o my_o obedience_n to_o a_o high_a note_n or_o pin_n that_o it_o be_v now_o to_o a_o lord_n and_o father_n who_o at_o last_o i_o will_v love_v and_o i_o do_v also_o lament_v before_o he_o in_o the_o sincerity_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o can_v love_v he_o no_o more_o who_o have_v so_o much_o loveliness_n in_o he_o yea_o nothing_o but_o loveliness_n yea_o it_o be_v a_o service_n of_o a_o lord_n who_o will_v all_o and_o make_v the_o law_n and_o make_v it_o to_o be_v just_a because_o he_o can_v do_v no_o evil_n and_o i_o will_v i_o can_v continual_o meditate_v upon_o this_o his_o will_n but_o this_o be_v it_o i_o daily_o press_v after_o and_o mourn_v under_o the_o want_n of_o the_o clear_a sight_n of_o this_o that_o there_o shall_v be_v so_o much_o fear_n in_o my_o heart_n concern_v the_o issue_n or_o event_n of_o any_o thing_n wherein_o my_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v at_o any_o time_n to_o declare_v his_o will_n to_o lie_v in_o further_a discovery_n of_o faithfulness_n 1._o faithfulness_n appear_v in_o the_o reality_n of_o the_o heart_n serve_v the_o lord_n with_o all_o the_o heart_n soul_n and_o strength_n and_o so_o faithfulness_n in_o prayer_n lie_v not_o in_o the_o pour_v out_o of_o word_n though_o with_o some_o affection_n but_o do_v it_o with_o all_o the_o heart_n soul_n and_o strength_n and_o a_o full_a exercise_n of_o every_o grace_n to_o the_o utmost_a in_o every_o service_n i_o do_v for_o christ_n and_o o_o my_o soul_n be_v not_o this_o that_o thou_o daily_o presse_v after_o though_o thou_o can_v not_o full_o attain_v unto_o it_o what_o else_o make_v thou_o to_o mourn_v over_o thy_o prayer_n and_o duty_n but_o that_o thou_o find_v no_o more_o of_o thy_o heart_n and_o strength_n in_o they_o be_v not_o thy_o constant_a desire_n that_o all_o thy_o soul_n and_o strength_n may_v be_v offer_v up_o to_o god_n in_o every_o service_n thou_o do_v he_o 2._o they_o be_v faithful_a servant_n of_o christ_n that_o do_v all_o they_o do_v in_o order_n to_o a_o trust_n from_o christ_n who_o intru_v they_o with_o his_o ordinance_n with_o their_o health_n wealth_n comfort_n enjoyment_n all_o i_o have_v be_v but_o a_o trust_n from_o christ_n now_o to_o be_v faithful_a be_v to_o improve_v this_o trust_n to_o god_n to_o do_v all_o the_o good_a that_o possible_a i_o can_v by_o his_o ordinance_n to_o do_v every_o service_n to_o he_o as_o they_o that_o indeed_o exercise_v a_o point_n of_o trust_n he_o entrust_v i_o with_o his_o glory_n in_o this_o world_n faithfulness_n be_v to_o make_v the_o utmost_a advantage_n to_o raise_v up_o his_o glory_n in_o this_o world_n &_o make_v he_o appear_v great_a and_o so_o faithfulness_n in_o improve_n all_o the_o grace_n that_o god_n and_o christ_n intru_v i_o with_o by_o improve_n of_o they_o to_o make_v the_o utmost_a advantage_n for_o he_o and_o so_o for_o health_n and_o all_o outward_a comfort_n now_o o_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o the_o lord_n write_v this_o in_o thy_o very_a heart_n that_o all_o that_o ever_o thou_o have_v and_o enjoy_v both_o spiritual_a and_o temporal_a whether_o ordinance_n grace_n comfort_n all_o thy_o enjoyment_n that_o thou_o have_v by_o trust_n from_o christ_n and_o must_v be_v improve_v for_o he_o and_o not_o spend_v upon_o thyself_o or_o this_o world_n and_o do_v not_o the_o thought_n of_o this_o make_v thou_o daily_o mourn_v before_o the_o lord_n that_o thou_o can_v not_o improve_v they_o better_o that_o he_o have_v so_o little_a revenue_n of_o glory_n from_o thou_o and_o by_o thou_o but_o that_o so_o much_o of_o his_o stock_n lie_v as_o it_o be_v dead_a and_o unimproved_a do_v not_o the_o sight_n of_o this_o cause_n thou_o to_o mourn_v daily_o before_o he_o that_o he_o shall_v intrust_v thou_o with_o so_o much_o and_o receive_v from_o thou_o so_o little_a now_o o_o my_o soul_n do_v not_o the_o thought_n of_o this_o make_v thou_o cry_v daily_o out_o to_o the_o lord_n beseech_v he_o to_o reveal_v his_o mind_n &_o will_n to_o thou_o how_o he_o will_v have_v thou_o improve_v this_o or_o that_o other_o mercy_n or_o trust_v commit_v to_o thou_o and_o not_o only_o teach_v thou_o his_o will_n in_o it_o but_o also_o help_v thou_o to_o improve_v it_o to_o his_o glory_n continual_o yea_o o_o my_o soul_n be_v there_o not_o a_o continue_a fear_n upon_o thy_o heart_n which_o cause_v thou_o often_o time_n to_o pour_v out_o strong_a cry_n before_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v help_v thou_o to_o give_v he_o the_o glory_n of_o all_o the_o mercy_n and_o good_a thing_n he_o betru_v thou_o with_o at_o any_o time_n as_o also_o that_o there_o may_v never_o be_v find_v in_o thou_o any_o backwardness_n or_o unwillingness_n to_o give_v up_o thy_o trust_n in_o any_o thing_n whatever_o into_o his_o own_o hand_n when_o ever_o he_o see_v meet_v to_o call_v for_o it_o which_o seem_v to_o note_v a_o further_a degree_n of_o faithfulness_n further_a discovery_n of_o faithfulness_n at_o the_o same_o time_n 1_o faithfulness_n appear_v in_o the_o generality_n of_o it_o when_o a_o man_n be_v faithful_a in_o all_o that_o he_o have_v though_o all_o that_o he_o have_v be_v but_o a_o little_a and_o true_o herein_o i_o have_v great_a cause_n to_o lament_v before_o the_o lord_n for_o in_o the_o stead_n of_o be_v faithful_a in_o all_o that_o i_o have_v there_o be_v much_o unfaithfulness_n in_o i_o that_o appear_v in_o all_o that_o the_o lord_n trust_v i_o with_o and_o yet_o o_o my_o soul_n may_v thou_o not_o also_o say_v that_o there_o be_v some_o degree_n of_o this_o faithfulness_n or_o at_o least_o a_o desire_n after_o it_o in_o thou_o and_o may_v thou_o not_o say_v by_o this_o law_n of_o thy_o lord_n as_o paul_n do_v of_o the_o law_n of_o god_n in_o general_a with_o my_o mind_n i_o even_o myself_o serve_v this_o law_n of_o god_n in_o faithfulness_n though_o in_o my_o flesh_n i_o do_v too_o often_o rebel_v against_o it_o which_o be_v my_o daily_a burden_n from_o which_o evil_a in_o thy_o own_o time_n deliver_v i_o oh_o my_o god_n and_o this_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v for_o 2._o faithfulness_n appear_v in_o be_v faithful_a notwithstanding_o all_o difficulty_n that_o accompany_v they_o in_o their_o service_n now_o o_o my_o soul_n have_v thou_o not_o abundant_o cause_v to_o give_v glory_n to_o god_n that_o have_v be_v please_v to_o make_v thou_o thus_o faithful_a in_o any_o degree_n or_o measure_n in_o this_o respect_n who_o by_o his_o own_o hand_n &_o power_n have_v carry_v thou_o through_o many_o a_o reproach_n and_o scoff_n and_o scorn_v and_o by_o word_n make_v thou_o like_o isaac_n who_o be_v still_o persecute_v by_o ishmael_n and_o have_v not_o this_o be_v thy_o lot_n by_o some_o ever_o reproach_v thou_o scoff_v deride_v thou_o backbiting_a speak_v evil_a abundant_o of_o thou_o and_o yet_o false_o do_v their_o utmost_a to_o bring_v thou_o out_o of_o favour_n with_o those_o who_o love_n thou_o high_o prise_v and_o have_v reason_n for_o it_o and_o how_o do_v the_o lord_n make_v thou_o to_o lie_v down_o under_o this_o when_o other_o tax_v thou_o of_o hypocrisy_n and_o the_o like_a to_o search_v thy_o own_o heart_n and_o bemoan_v before_o the_o lord_n the_o
nature_n but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o my_o heart_n be_v somewhat_o i_o think_v affect_v with_o those_o desire_n before_o the_o lord_n yet_o oh_o with_o what_o sadness_n i_o may_v speak_v it_o how_o soon_o be_v they_o out_o of_o mind_n even_o before_o i_o get_v to_o tulham_n in_o so_o much_o that_o i_o quite_o forget_v my_o own_o desire_n and_o not_o at_o all_o look_v after_o any_o answer_n of_o they_o but_o how_o do_v the_o lord_n raise_v and_o rouse_v up_o my_o dead_a heart_n even_o upon_o the_o name_a of_o the_o psalm_n that_o be_v call_v to_o be_v sing_v in_o the_o morning_n which_o be_v the_o 145._o psalm_n which_o at_o the_o first_o name_a of_o my_o heart_n leap_v as_o it_o be_v think_v what_o shall_v we_o sing_v that_o psalm_n mr_n knight_n text_n be_v in_o though_o for_o the_o present_a i_o mistake_v for_o his_o text_n be_v in_o the_o 45_o psalm_n but_o this_o be_v the_o 145._o psalm_n &_o the_o two_o last_o staff_n which_o as_o soon_o as_o we_o begin_v to_o sing_v my_o heart_n be_v exceed_o alter_v with_o it_o in_o which_o i_o find_v many_o suitable_a expression_n to_o my_o former_a desire_n even_o in_o the_o very_a word_n which_o do_v as_o it_o be_v raise_v my_o heart_n in_o a_o kind_n of_o content_a expectation_n of_o a_o glorius_fw-la appearance_n of_o god_n that_o day_n as_o a_o return_n of_o prayer_n which_o methinks_v the_o lord_n do_v even_o then_o give_v to_o i_o by_o hint_v this_o scripture_n so_o put_v to_o my_o condition_n and_o desire_n and_o how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v the_o 27._o of_o this_o 6._o month_n through_o his_o servant_n mr_n knight_n in_o both_o part_n of_o the_o day_n who_o he_o be_v please_v to_o come_v in_o even_o beyond_o his_o own_o expectation_n as_o he_o acknowledge_v to_o i_o in_o discourse_n the_o next_o day_n tell_v i_o that_o he_o do_v only_o intend_v to_o handle_v in_o general_a the_o 3_o thing_n concern_v christ_n as_o his_o sweetness_n fitness_n &_o faithfulness_n but_o when_o he_o come_v to_o speak_v to_o they_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v so_o great_o to_o enlarge_v the_o thought_n of_o it_o upon_o his_o heart_n and_o make_v it_o so_o sweet_a unto_o he_o that_o he_o can_v not_o but_o declare_v what_o the_o lord_n give_v in_o unto_o he_o and_o true_o not_o only_a be_v it_o sweet_a to_o he_o but_o as_o fit_v and_o seasonabe_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n as_o any_o thing_n that_o can_v have_v be_v speak_v the_o lord_n give_v i_o but_o a_o heart_n to_o make_v improvement_n of_o it_o so_o as_o may_v be_v to_o his_o praise_n and_o eternal_a good_a of_o my_o poor_a soul_n the_o 7_o day_n of_o the_o month_n how_o abundant_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o bow_v down_o to_o this_o rebellious_a wretch_n who_o have_v great_a cause_n to_o fear_v that_o my_o heart_n be_v set_v more_o to_o seek_v &_o see_v a_o poor_a vain_a creature_n &_o to_o meet_v which_o the_o they_o then_o to_o see_v or_o meet_v the_o lord_n &_o yet_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v even_o now_o bow_v down_o and_o give_v forth_o gracious_a visit_n to_o my_o soul_n through_o many_o sensible_a conviction_n hint_v to_o my_o heart_n this_o day_n both_o through_o his_o word_n and_o through_o his_o other_o administration_n this_o day_n go_v early_o enough_o to_o hear_v the_o morning_n sermon_n though_o i_o much_o fear_n whether_o it_o be_v so_o much_o out_o of_o pure_a love_n to_o it_o as_o out_o of_o self-end_n yet_o what_o sensible_a conviction_n do_v there_o from_o the_o lord_n fall_v upon_o my_o hart_n from_o these_o instruction_n m._n blond_n hint_v out_o to_o we_o from_o the_o expression_n of_o david_n i_o keep_v myself_o from_o my_o iniquity_n where_o he_o show_v we_o that_o it_o be_v our_o great_a duty_n to_o watch_v chief_o against_o our_o own_o particular_a sin_n show_v we_o how_o we_o may_v know_v they_o hint_v also_o that_o it_o be_v probable_a that_o this_o sin_n of_o david_n be_v tongue-sin_n from_o which_o how_o secret_o do_v the_o lord_n check_v my_o poor_a soul_n afterward_o mr_n nie_n speak_v from_o psalm_n the_o 50._o 26_o this_o thou_o do_v and_o i_o keep_v silence_n where_o he_o show_v that_o by_o silence_n be_v mean_v a_o refrain_v from_o motion_n or_o action_n whence_o he_o observe_v that_o word_n and_o action_n be_v all_o one_o with_o god_n it_o be_v as_o easy_a with_o god_n to_o do_v as_o to_o speak_v it_o be_v but_o for_o he_o to_o speak_v and_o the_o work_n be_v do_v yea_o it_o be_v as_o easy_a for_o god_n to_o do_v as_o for_o we_o to_o speak_v and_o beg_v of_o he_o and_o much_o more_o and_o what_o a_o mighty_a encouragement_n be_v this_o to_o thy_o faith_n o_o my_o soul_n which_o be_v the_o improvement_n he_o make_v of_o it_o by_o application_n and_o also_o hint_v more_o that_o as_o all_o god_n word_n be_v action_n and_o so_o pardon_v action_n and_o administration_n be_v as_o so_o many_o word_n and_o oh_o of_o what_o use_n be_v this_o to_o my_o soul_n what_o thing_n have_v god_n speak_v to_o my_o soul_n from_o and_o by_o his_o various_a administration_n to_o thou_o for_o these_o many_o year_n how_o have_v the_o lord_n by_o his_o providence_n often_o as_o it_o be_v convince_v thou_o and_o yet_o thy_o base_a heart_n will_v not_o leave_v to_o go_v on_o to_o tempt_v the_o lord_n though_o he_o have_v so_o evident_o appear_v in_o cross_v thou_o and_o this_o day_n be_v a_o sign_n of_o it_o that_o thou_o will_v put_v on_o thy_o best_a clothes_n in_o that_o pride_n and_o vanity_n of_o thy_o heart_n thou_o know_v do_v thou_o not_o by_o a_o strange_a providence_n as_o it_o be_v get_v a_o spot_n in_o thy_o coat_n to_o check_v thou_o and_o do_v not_o the_o lord_n by_o it_o show_v thou_o thy_o pride_n vanity_n and_o folly_n but_o oh_o how_o gracious_a be_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o show_v thou_o this_o in_o so_o mild_a and_o gentle_a a_o way_n the_o 10._o of_o this_o 7_o month_n be_v the_o lord_n day_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n in_o the_o morning_n but_o in_o a_o formal_a way_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o appear_v to_o i_o that_o day_n through_o his_o servant_n as_o also_o to_o give_v in_o a_o gracious_a answer_n to_o these_o desire_n that_o mr._n knight_n put_v up_o to_o he_o the_o last_o day_n namely_o to_o unveil_v the_o grace_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n to_o he_o that_o he_o may_v so_o taste_v and_o feel_v it_o as_o may_v enable_v he_o to_o declare_v it_o to_o his_o praise_n which_o i_o do_v now_o also_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n and_o that_o though_o i_o be_v altogether_o unworthy_a of_o this_o mercy_n or_o of_o any_o more_o appearance_n from_o the_o lord_n which_o have_v make_v so_o little_a improvement_n of_o so_o many_o gracious_a favour_n yet_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o overcome_v my_o rebellion_n and_o unfruitfulness_n with_o his_o love_n and_o at_o the_o last_o overpower_v my_o soul_n anâ—_n bring_v it_o to_o a_o more_o full_a subjection_n to_o himself_o and_o that_o which_o i_o desire_v now_o to_o record_v to_o the_o praise_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v before_o he_o and_o that_o yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v most_o particulary_a to_o unveil_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n in_o the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n the_o lord_n help_v thou_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o improve_v all_o those_o wondefull_a appearance_n of_o his_o praise_n and_o glory_n the_o 13._o of_o this_o 7_o month_n appoint_v by_o this_o new_a parliament_n for_o a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n and_o seek_v the_o lord_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n in_o the_o morning_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o put_v my_o heart_n into_o some_o measure_n of_o suteableness_n to_o that_o business_n and_o to_o make_v i_o real_o sensible_a of_o all_o my_o rebellion_n unfruitfulness_n and_o unthankfulness_n to_o he_o for_o all_o his_o glorious_a appearance_n and_o that_o he_o will_v pour_v out_o his_o spirit_n upon_o his_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o be_v his_o and_o our_o mouth_n this_o day_n as_o also_o beg_v the_o lord_n to_o let_v some_o hint_n from_o himself_o fall_v with_o power_n upon_o my_o heart_n this_o day_n and_o there_o abide_v and_o bless_a god_n how_o gracious_o be_v thou_o please_v to_o appear_v and_o with_o what_o sensible_a and_o suitable_a truth_n press_v my_o soul_n to_o get_v into_o christ_n and_o dwell_v there_o than_o which_o there_o be_v no_o truth_n more_o needful_a to_o be_v press_v upon_o my_o wretched_a heart_n be_v so_o miserable_o shatter_v about_o and_o upon_o other_o thing_n and_o my_o affection_n so_o sad_o divide_v that_o in_o truth_n i_o do_v not_o dwell_v in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n as_o i_o ought_v which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o great_a mercy_n to_o my_o soul_n to_o
hypocrite_n or_o afraid_a to_o hear_v what_o conscience_n say_v oh_o how_o sweet_o be_v this_o truth_n improve_v this_o day_n by_o application_n as_o first_o to_o teach_v we_o to_o admire_v the_o goodness_n of_o god_n in_o place_v such_o a_o witness_n in_o every_o man_n bosom_n yea_o how_o good_a it_o be_v for_o the_o saint_n that_o this_o be_v set_v up_o in_o wicked_a man_n for_o some_o time_n there_o be_v action_n do_v by_o wicked_a man_n against_o god_n people_n that_o there_o be_v no_o winess_n but_o their_o own_o conscience_n which_o testify_v against_o they_o of_o all_o their_o hard_a speech_n and_o thought_n and_o word_n and_o the_o like_a yea_o how_o good_a be_v it_o for_o the_o saint_n also_o in_o this_o for_o have_v they_o not_o this_o witness_n in_o themselves_o how_o bitter_a will_v the_o reproach_n of_o the_o world_n be_v to_o they_o we_o be_v exhort_v to_o take_v heed_n how_o we_o walk_v towards_o conscience_n it_o be_v by_o god_n set_v as_o a_o watch_n over_o we_o oh_o than_o take_v heed_n that_o we_o withdraw_v not_o from_o it_o nay_o it_o be_v true_a it_o will_v follow_v you_o but_o labour_n to_o keep_v it_o in_o your_o sight_n and_o when_o you_o be_v to_o do_v any_o civil_a or_o religious_a work_n call_v it_o in_o and_o say_v conscience_n what_o say_v thou_o to_o this_o or_o that_o action_n be_v it_o according_a to_o the_o will_n and_o mind_n of_o god_n and_o give_v it_o leave_v to_o speak_v out_o yea_o and_o give_v time_n also_o for_o oftentimes_o the_o affair_n of_o the_o world_n hinder_v that_o conscience_n have_v not_o time_n to_o speak_v its_o mind_n 2_o to_o take_v heed_n we_o grieve_v it_o not_o for_o its_o complaint_n will_v be_v hear_v in_o heaven_n therefore_o take_v heed_n of_o do_v any_o thing_n against_o conscience_n 3._o awe_o it_o as_o a_o judge_n and_o be_v content_a to_o be_v judge_v by_o it_o in_o all_o you_o do_v for_o it_o will_v be_v your_o judge_n another_o day_n and_o will_v be_v a_o immortal_a witness_n either_o in_o point_n of_o comfort_n or_o terror_n oh_o therefore_o awe_v it_o 1._o do_v you_o take_v of_o heed_n of_o slight_a conscience_n or_o its_o testimony_n for_o therein_o you_o commit_v great_a injury_n to_o god_n it_o be_v his_o ambassador_n and_o by_o he_o set_v in_o you_o 2._o it_o be_v great_a folly_n also_o to_o stop_v its_o mouth_n for_o 1._o all_o your_o hinder_v it_o or_o endeavour_v to_o do_v so_o will_v but_o prove_v a_o aggravation_n of_o its_o witness_n another_o day_n against_o you_o than_o it_o will_v tell_v you_o that_o it_o will_v have_v speak_v plain_o to_o you_o such_o and_o such_o a_o time_n but_o you_o will_v not_o hear_v you_o be_v so_o busy_a in_o the_o world_n or_o the_o like_a the_o reason_n why_o saint_n do_v no_o more_o rejoice_v be_v because_o they_o walk_v no_o more_o in_o the_o testimony_n of_o their_o own_o conscience_n we_o be_v also_o exhort_v in_o the_o conclusion_n to_o be_v very_o tender_a of_o do_v any_o thing_n without_o a_o solemn_a court_n of_o conscience_n rashness_n be_v the_o worst_a evil_n conscience_n be_v god_n witness_n let_v it_o be_v you_o give_v it_o full_a liberty_n therefore_o to_o speak_v and_o say_v all_o it_o can_v ask_v it_o again_o and_o again_o what_o it_o say_v to_o this_o and_o that_o action_n and_o may_v be_v it_o will_v give_v thou_o that_o testimony_n that_o through_o rashness_n and_o hastiness_n it_o have_v not_o time_n to_o speak_v or_o thou_o to_o hear_v it_o oh_o what_o sensible_a hint_n be_v these_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n if_o the_o lord_n will_v but_o please_v to_o bless_v they_o effectual_o to_o i_o and_o help_v i_o to_o put_v they_o in_o practice_n daily_a the_o lord_n have_v see_v meet_a to_o call_v our_o brother_n Ê‹ilet_n ont_fw-fr of_o this_o world_n i_o hear_v that_o he_o be_v to_o be_v bury_v at_o fulham_n this_o afternoon_n and_o our_o pastor_n to_o preach_v which_o occasion_v i_o great_o to_o desire_v to_o hear_v he_o which_o also_o i_o do_v though_o it_o be_v exceed_v late_o at_o which_o time_n he_o speak_v from_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 2._o now_o be_v we_o the_o son_n of_o â—od_a but_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v etc._n etc._n from_o which_o there_o be_v most_o seasonable_a bless_a truth_n hint_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o which_o he_o press_v be_v that_o what_o the_o saint_n shall_v be_v it_o do_v not_o appear_v then_o he_o show_v it_o do_v not_o appear_v first_o to_o the_o saint_n themselves_o 1._o because_o of_o the_o little_a light_n the_o saint_n have_v of_o this_o glory_n nay_o if_o god_n shall_v reveal_v more_o they_o can_v not_o bear_v it_o in_o this_o state_n 2._o in_o regard_n of_o our_o not_z improvement_n of_o the_o discovery_n make_v of_o our_o future_a estate_n 3._o because_o their_o present_a estate_n be_v compass_v with_o sin_n and_o affliction_n both_o which_o do_v obstruct_v the_o sight_n of_o this_o glory_n but_o more_o particular_o the_o reason_n why_o it_o do_v not_o appear_v he_o show_v be_v these_o 1._o from_o the_o many_o diversion_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o saint_n that_o turn_v they_o aside_o from_o behold_v their_o glory_n to_o come_v how_o do_v the_o toy_n and_o bauble_n of_o this_o world_n divert_v they_o from_o behold_v of_o this_o and_o so_o their_o estate_n do_v not_o appear_v to_o they_o 2._o it_o come_v from_o inconstancy_n of_o spirit_n because_o their_o heart_n do_v not_o dwell_v on_o those_o thing_n no_o man_n be_v excellent_a in_o that_o his_o heart_n and_o thought_n dwell_v not_o upon_o so_o here_o 3._o from_o the_o weakness_n of_o our_o faith_n for_o we_o live_v now_o by_o faith_n but_o when_o christ_n shall_v appear_v than_o you_o shall_v live_v by_o sight_n so_o that_o while_o you_o be_v here_o your_o sight_n be_v according_a to_o your_o faith_n if_o your_o faith_n be_v right_a and_o straight_o like_o stephens_n then_o have_v you_o a_o strong_a sight_n of_o glory_n 4._o it_o appear_v not_o from_o the_o remainder_n of_o corruption_n that_o abide_v in_o we_o every_o sin_n veil_v the_o sight_n of_o this_o glory_n 5._o god_n himself_o be_v please_v sometime_o to_o exercise_v his_o saint_n not_o only_o under_o darkness_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o their_o future_a estate_n but_o also_o of_o their_o present_a estate_n and_o so_o they_o walk_v in_o the_o dark_a and_o this_o god_n do_v for_o high_a and_o holy_a end_n and_o give_v great_a instruction_n through_o it_o no_o his_o saint_n to_o look_v up_o to_o he_o for_o life_n and_o wait_v on_o he_o for_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o their_o future_a estate_n and_o to_o make_v they_o see_v that_o it_o flow_v from_o nothing_o in_o they_o but_o from_o he_o only_o eternal_a life_n be_v not_o only_o the_o gift_n of_o god_n but_o even_o the_o light_n whereby_o we_o see_v it_o 2._o this_o glory_n appear_v not_o to_o the_o world_n also_o and_o that_o 1._o because_o the_o world_n see_v only_o the_o outside_n of_o a_o godly_a man_n his_o shell_n but_o they_o see_v not_o the_o glory_n of_o his_o inside_n they_o see_v their_o poverty_n and_o contempt_n and_o reproach_n etc._n etc._n but_o they_o see_v not_o the_o glorious_a work_n of_o god_n on_o their_o soul_n or_o operation_n of_o his_o spirit_n in_o they_o 2_o it_o appear_v not_o to_o the_o world_n because_o the_o saint_n have_v their_o cloud_n upon_o they_o the_o best_a have_v their_o infirmity_n and_o these_o the_o world_n look_v most_o upon_o wicked_a man_n be_v blind_a and_o can_v see_v for_o spiritual_a thing_n must_v be_v spiritual_o discern_v because_o many_o time_n there_o be_v difference_n among_o the_o saint_n themselves_o and_o this_o darken_v their_o glory_n to_o the_o world_n who_o see_v they_o dispute_v about_o religion_n and_o the_o like_a the_o world_n judge_v of_o their_o future_a estate_n by_o their_o present_a condition_n if_o man_n flourish_v here_o than_o they_o judge_v well_o of_o they_o if_o they_o lie_v under_o trouble_n they_o judge_v they_o hate_v of_o god_n and_o thus_o god_n suffer_v this_o darkness_n about_o their_o future_a estate_n to_o humble_v his_o saint_n and_o make_v they_o cry_v to_o he_o for_o light_n to_o manifest_v the_o sincerity_n of_o the_o saint_n to_o set_v they_o a_o longing_n after_o eternity_n where_o they_o shall_v have_v full_a and_o clear_a sight_n to_o make_v glory_n appear_v glory_n indeed_o if_o the_o glitter_a here_o be_v glorious_a what_o shall_v the_o full_a be_v that_o it_o appear_v not_o be_v out_o of_o just_a judgement_n from_o god_n to_o this_o wicked_a world_n who_o do_v hate_n and_o contemn_v they_o therefore_o god_n will_v not_o let_v they_o see_v their_o glory_n they_o shall_v only_o know_v it_o by_o feel_v the_o contrary_a and_o the_o want_n of_o it_o there_o
a_o wise_a virgin_n lamp_n burn_v or_o god_n sweet_a income_n of_o love_n to_o a_o gracious_a soul_n wait_v for_o he_o be_v the_o experience_n of_o mrs._n anne_n venn_n daughter_n to_o col._n john_n venn_n &_o member_n of_o the_o church_n of_o christ_n at_o fulham_n write_v by_o she_o own_o hand_n and_o find_v in_o her_o closet_n after_o her_o death_n wherein_o be_v declare_v she_o exceed_v frequent_a address_n to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n and_o how_o speedy_o answer_v write_a for_o the_o comfort_n of_o such_o as_o mourn_v in_o zion_n and_o quicken_a of_o saint_n by_o her_o bless_a example_n psal_n 30.5_o weep_n may_v endure_v for_o a_o night_n but_o joy_n come_v in_o the_o morning_n psal_n 66.16_o come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n psal_n 85.8_o i_o will_v hear_v what_o god_n the_o lord_n will_v say_v for_o he_o will_v speak_v peace_n to_o his_o people_n lam._n 3.25_o the_o lord_n be_v good_a to_o they_o that_o wait_v for_o he_o to_o the_o soul_n that_o seek_v he_o london_n print_v for_o e._n cole_n and_o be_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o the_o sign_n of_o the_o printing-press_n in_o cornhill_n 1658._o christian_n reader_n here_o may_v thou_o see_v the_o free_a frequent_a &_o familiar_a intercourse_n betwixt_o the_o lord_n &_o a_o godly_a soul_n her_o continual_a address_n to_o he_o and_o his_o gracious_a return_v to_o she_o doubtless_o she_o be_v one_o that_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o caleb_n follow_v god_n full_o and_o lay_v as_o much_o in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n as_o any_o that_o i_o have_v hear_v of_o a_o rare_a pattern_n in_o these_o cold_a decline_a time_n wherein_o so_o many_o either_o turn_n aside_o from_o the_o truth_n or_o else_o lose_v their_o first_o love_n but_o her_o pious_a soul_n in_o a_o eminent_a manner_n keep_v truth_n and_o zeal_n warm_v she_o in_o heart_n even_o till_o she_o enjoy_v full_a communion_n with_o her_o belove_a in_o heaven_n as_o she_o begin_v to_o seek_v after_o god_n betimes_o about_o the_o age_n of_o nine_o year_n so_o she_o continue_v with_o her_o loin_n gird_v her_o lamp_n burn_v and_o her_o light_n shine_v more_o and_o more_o till_o the_o perfect_a day_n the_o tenderness_n of_o god_n the_o malice_n of_o satan_n her_o patience_n in_o wait_v on_o god_n for_o certain_a year_n to_o gether_o in_o her_o first_o conversion_n be_v remarkable_a the_o closeness_n of_o her_o spirit_n not_o open_v her_o condition_n to_o such_o as_o may_v have_v relieve_v she_o her_o seek_v to_o heal_v herself_o by_o duty_n and_o holy_a walk_n for_o a_o long_a time_n keep_v down_o her_o soul_n from_o look_v up_o to_o the_o free_a grace_n in_o christ_n till_o she_o be_v even_o tire_v out_o as_o noah_n dove_n by_o flutter_v upon_o the_o unsteady_a water_n but_o then_o the_o lord_n jesus_n put_v forth_o his_o hand_n and_o take_v her_o weary_a soul_n into_o the_o ark_n of_o his_o rest_n give_v she_o such_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o himself_o that_o now_o have_v with_o the_o spouse_n find_v she_o belove_v she_o take_v he_o and_o catch_v he_o and_o hold_v he_o and_o will_v not_o let_v he_o go_v oft_o say_v with_o the_o spouse_n let_v he_o kiss_v i_o with_o the_o kiss_n of_o his_o mouth_n for_o his_o love_n be_v better_a than_o wine_n be_v able_a from_o that_o time_n to_o sing_v the_o sweet_a song_n of_o simeon_n long_v to_o be_v at_o home_n with_o her_o jesus_n oh_o the_o peace_n and_o or_o oh_o the_o bless_a reviving_n and_o quickning_n oh_o the_o prayer_n praise_n and_o admiring_n her_o precious_a soul_n be_v fill_v withal_o from_o that_o day_n forward_o though_o now_o aâ—d_v then_o some_o secret_a withdrawing_n to_o the_o last_o moment_n of_o her_o life_n her_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n she_o walk_v with_o god_n her_o heart_n loosen_a from_o this_o world_n as_o this_o treatise_n full_o speak_v so_o much_o of_o her_o strength_n spirit_n affection_n and_o time_n she_o spend_v in_o closet-meeting_n with_o god_n in_o read_v pray_v meditation_n self-examination_n etc._n etc._n that_o it_o be_v a_o wonder_n her_o poor_a weak_a body_n be_v able_a to_o subsist_v and_o doubtless_o have_v not_o god_n renew_v her_o strength_n anoint_v she_o with_o fresh_a oil_n it_o can_v not_o have_v be_v i_o marvel_v i_o confess_v to_o see_v so_o many_o of_o her_o writing_n find_v in_o her_o closet_n as_o i_o do_v god_n give_v she_o a_o quick_a wit_n a_o large_a understanding_n a_o consider_a spirit_n and_o look_v much_o into_o herself_o teach_v she_o to_o put_v a_o high_a price_n on_o ordinance_n make_v she_o very_o diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o all_o mean_v lay_v she_o very_o low_a in_o she_o own_o eye_n with_o much_o self-emptiness_n &_o thus_o bespoko_fw-mi a_o la_fw-fr ge_fw-mi room_n in_o her_o heart_n that_o he_o may_v bestow_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o christ_n therein_o and_o so_o make_v she_o a_o vessel_n capable_a of_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o grace_n then_o i_o be_o persuade_v many_o other_o though_o true_o godly_a attain_v on_o this_o side_n heaven_n so_o exceed_v tender_a be_v her_o heart_n in_o point_n of_o sin_n that_o she_o will_v often_o and_o deep_o judge_v herself_o as_o this_o treatise_n abundant_o show_v for_o pride_n passion_n inordinate_a love_n to_o the_o creature_n neglect_v of_o duty_n to_o her_o relation_n etc._n etc._n whereas_o those_o that_o daily_a converse_v with_o she_o be_v of_o discern_a spirit_n can_v see_v no_o such_o appearance_n but_o the_o contrary_a frame_n of_o spirit_n eminent_o shine_v out_o in_o she_o she_o be_v so_o afraid_a of_o pride_n that_o she_o dare_v not_o wear_v such_o jewel_n &_o apparel_n as_o she_o have_v by_o she_o for_o feâ—r_v her_o heart_n shall_v be_v draw_v from_o god_n thereby_o and_o so_o fearful_a of_o vain_a glory_n that_o though_o she_o have_v this_o treatise_n of_o the_o income_n of_o god_n lie_v by_o she_o yet_o not_o any_o no_o not_o her_o dear_a parent_n ever_o know_v thereof_o till_o they_o find_v it_o in_o her_o closet_n after_o her_o death_n her_o sell_v leave_v this_o as_o the_o reason_n lest_o her_o wretched_a heart_n shall_v be_v lift_v up_o and_o other_o shall_v think_v better_o of_o she_o than_o be_v meet_v she_o be_v such_o a_o high_a prizer_n of_o ordinance_n that_o she_o forget_v the_o weakness_n of_o her_o own_o body_n the_o length_n of_o the_o way_n &_o many_o other_o obstructon_n will_v frequent_o break_v through_o all_o to_o enjoy_v they_o and_o when_o she_o be_v to_o hear_v she_o first_o be_v full_a of_o prayer_n to_o god_n to_o meet_v she_o therein_o and_o make_v out_o some_o discovery_n to_o her_o soul_n which_o the_o lord_n usual_o do_v and_o she_o straight_o observe_v god_n income_n return_v with_o praise_n her_o deep_a acknowledgement_n of_o the_o same_o no_o small_a importunity_n of_o very_a many_o godly_a that_o know_v she_o have_v force_v the_o publish_n of_o this_o treatise_n and_o other_o of_o long_o stand_v in_o christ_n and_o eminent_a grace_n who_o have_v see_v some_o of_o it_o in_o manuscript_n have_v free_o confess_v they_o never_o look_v into_o it_o but_o be_v much_o humble_v to_o so_o how_o short_a themselves_o come_v in_o such_o heart-searching_n self-judging_n close-walkings_a with_o god_n and_o such_o observe_n of_o the_o answer_n of_o their_o prayer_n as_o they_o read_v in_o this_o her_o daily_a practice_n i_o hope_v it_o may_v be_v useful_a in_o these_o decline_a time_n to_o convince_v some_o christian_n of_o their_o slackness_n and_o awaken_v other_o and_o show_v they_o how_o to_o make_v more_o heart-work_n by_o the_o example_n of_o one_o of_o the_o weak_a sex_n and_o if_o to_o thy_o knowledge_n it_o shall_v not_o add_v much_o yet_o to_o thy_o spirit_n and_o practise_v it_o may_v conduce_v not_o a_o little_a thou_o in_o our_o dear_a lord_n and_o head_n tho._n weld_n to_o all_o that_o love_v the_o appearance_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n grace_n and_o peace_n be_v call_v upon_o by_o the_o earnest_a importunity_n of_o many_o gracious_a soul_n to_o give_v forth_o my_o testimony_n of_o this_o bless_a servant_n of_o christ_n mr_n anne_n venn_n and_o have_v have_v many_o year_n converse_v about_o the_o great_a matter_n of_o eternal_a life_n with_o she_o and_o enjoy_v her_o society_n for_o some_o year_n in_o the_o holy_a fellowship_n of_o the_o gospel_n i_o can_v not_o but_o present_a to_o the_o saint_n the_o sweet_a savour_n of_o her_o holy_a walk_n in_o which_o she_o be_v a_o lively_a example_n to_o all_o that_o know_v she_o the_o lord_n first_o break_v in_o upon_o her_o heart_n by_o the_o frequent_a impression_n of_o the_o word_n as_o they_o be_v instill_v into_o she_o by_o her_o honour_a father_n who_o practice_n be_v to_o reinforce_v the_o truth_n public_o preach_v