the other will be satisfied with nothing iudging equally pouerty and auarice in malicious people Also Valerius telleth that Tiberius the Emperor changed his Officers very seldome because they which were newe ordained were very prompt and ready to receiue An example hereof is shewed by a man who was wounded whose déepe stripes a swarme of flies couered at which time it fortuned that one came by and saw them and droue them away to whom the other said Thou hast done me wrong for these were full and repleat now shal other come that be more hungry and do me more grief In like sort Iudges when they bee néedy or couetous they bee gréedy to catch and desirous to haue It is read in one fable of Poetry that Midas desired of Apollo that whatsoeuer he toucht might be turned into gold and it was granted him so when hee shoulde touch meate or drinke with his hands or his lips it was turned into gold and he was often hungry and perished for sustenance so abundance of riches maketh a couetous man hungry destroyeth him It is read in the Chronicles of Persia how Tomyris the Queene of Scythia after shee had taken Cyrus King of Persia caused his head to be smitten off and put into a boale full of bloud saying after this manner Thou hast euer thirsted after bloud now drinke bloud thy fill so shall it fall out in after-dayes with couetous men and cursed tyrants who desire the bloud of the poore people and the spoiles of the fatherles that is to say their goods and sore labours Couetous men in hell shal drinke molten golde as a Philosopher telleth that Nero the Emperour was séene in hel bathing himself in séething gold and when he saw a great number of commers by he said vnto them Come hether you wretches that be sellers of your neighbours and bath you here with me for I haue reserued the better part for you Cosmo Enough of this matter good Diogenes there is a matter of more waight to be decided wherein your iudgement is most ripe Thou hast lately as it is reported visited Lais to whose house our greatest Gentlemen resort there thou receiuedst an iniurie It shall therefore stand with thy iudgement to set down prescriptions to Philoplutos what luxury and licentiousnesse is that knowing the detestable fruites thereof he may prescribe lawes to coole Lais and preferre lessons to young Gentlemen who now a dayes are too much by wantons withdrawen Dio Well Cosmosophos I sée you would driue the raine from your boore this last storme I perceiue hath wet you but that matters not so thou mend for I bit thée to that end Now as touching luxurie I neede not much define vpon it in generall since in particular signification it is a voluntarie effusion of humane séede and a disordinate carnall copulation without marriage and this is one of the seuen mortall and deadly sinnes called a capitall vice for that there are eight infernall daughters sprong from it and all these Philoplutos richly bestowed on thy sonnes The first Cecitie or blindnes of spirite The second precipitatim The thirde inconsideration The fourth inconstancie The fifth self-loue The sixth the loue of the worlde The seuenth the hate of God The eighth the horror of that other worlde The sinnes of lecherie might make Diogenes ashamed to shewe them and you to heare them I will therefore onely discourse vpon her infernall daughters who haue cursed qualities euen in them to discouer their mothers imperfections and first as touching her daughter Cecitie or blindnes of spirite shée wil proue a prettie blindfold mischieuous childe I warrant you Cecitas This cursed daughter of a lecherous mother extinguisheth the naturall light of his vnderstanding that tyreth himselfe in the sports of Venus so that forgetting the dutie whereunto he is called He pretermitteth the seruice of God the hearing of his worde the exercise of prayer wherin euery good Athenian ought to be exercised In which he committeth two sinnes the one of letcherie the other of carelesse idlenes He likewise sinneth herein who casteth aside the spirituall giftes to haue a taste of the carnall Here we sée that letcherie blindeth the inwarde humaine eyes as it is read of the Sodomites which were blinded interiourly exteriourly and the two old falsewitnesses of Susanna to one of which Daniel said Beautie hath bewitched thée and concupiscence hath subuerted thy heart that is to say hath blinded thy spirite Also before it is said That they had turned their eyes aside lest they should see heauen remember the iust iudgement of God For which cause Antiquitie depainting the god of loue Cupide haue giuen him no eyes for because loue is blinde and maketh them blinde that followe it And it séemeth that the wise-man speaketh of them when he sayeth Their malice hath blinded them And before him the Psalmist speaking of the wicked Hee would not vnderstand to go well This vice is contrarie to one of the seuen gifts of the Holie Spirite and likewise it blindeth the eye of the soule which we ought to kéepe more charily than ten thousand corporall eyes as Plato sayeth The reason is for because that by the same we behold and contemplate the essence of God according to the doctrine which Iesus Christ our master hath taught vs who saith that they are happie who are clean in heart for they shall sée the face of God The auncients likewise do verie well manifest that luxurie blinded the cléerenes of the spirite But the poore slaues of Venus prefer the bodily sight before that of the spirite and being in that sort blinded they know not what to do neither wot they how to sauour the celestiall delightes which without comparison are farre more great more swéete than those delightes of the world These are they that haue drunke of the cup of whoredom which Saint Iohn sawe in the Apocalips that is to saye of lecherie which maketh those drunke with the wine of her wickednes which inhabite the earth causeth them to forget the beginning of their birth their celestiall countrey This in my opinion was Homors animi who writ that that the companions of Ulisses after they had eaten of certaine sweet wonderous pleasant fruites in Aphrica called Lopothages forgot their natural countrey would haue continued alwaies there where those fruites were so that the valiant Captaine Vlisses who representeth vnto vs reason hauing brought them backe againe by force was constrained to tye them to the mast of the ship for feare they should returne to their voluptuousnes From hence the Greekes deriue a prouerb which saieth That hee which hath tasted of any dishonest pleasure hath eaten Leates And whence I praye you is sprung this dissolutenes among all sortes in Athens and the withdrawing from vertue of so many wanâ—â—ing wits but from the taste of this voluptuousnesse And for that they haue dronken of the cup of this diuelish singularitie in thought blinding their
CATHAROS Diogenes in his Singularitie Wherein is comprehended his merrie baighting fit for all mens benefits Christened by him A Nettle for Nice Noses By T. L. of Lincolns Inne Gent 1591. AT LONDON Printed by VVilliam Hoskins Iohn Danter for Iohn Busbie To the Right Worshipfull Syr Iohn Hart Knight all health and Happines HEathen people Right Worshipfull lead by Nature abhorred nothing more than a man Ingratefull The Christians taught from Heauen command nothing oftner than to be thankefull To auoid the reproofe of the one and obey the charge of the other I present your Worship in signe of my sincere affect with this small conceit pend by a Gentleman my deare friend The matter may at the first sight I graunt seeme nothing graue but in the proceeding it will prooue Gratious Diogenes reprooues the vitious commendes the vertuous vnmasks sinne and sets downe remedies If you accept it and forget my boldnes my desire is satisfied and the Author no lesse pleased Your VVorships humbly Iohn Busbie Diogenes to such as are disposed to Reade MEn or Gentlemen if ye be Gentlemen or men accept the salutations of a Cinicke Diogenes wisheth infinite good speede to your good proceedinges and curseth endleslie your ill demeanors wishing the last to perish without supposing the first to flourish without supplanting That Diogenes is a Dog the worst doubt not his reprehensions dogged the most denie not for what foole blinded with earths vanitie accounts not reproofe bitter and the iust reproouer a byter Seeing then the worlde is growen so sensuall no meruaile though Cinicks bee slightlie set by If any of you read and like why then it likes me if read and dislike yet it likes me for Philosophie hath taught me to set as light by enuie as flatterie Greedines hath got vp all the garden plots and hardly haue I a roome left to turne my Tub round in the best field flowers now fade and better than Nettles my lands will not affoord They that list may take the rest leaue and so I leaue you Euery good meaners wel-willer Diogenes CATHAROS Diogenes in his singularitie Interlocutors Diogenes Philoplutos Cosmosophos DIogenes A goodly day if men were as good The Sunne I sée riseth vpon many but not to their amendment Good God what a Citie Athens is Here are faire houses but false hearts Many tenemēts fit to make Temples for the Gods but fewe owners in them that tempt not the Gods I sée here goodly Pallaces rich that spue out their Maisters for Riot A faire market place to encertain much mischiefe I wonder when our great Maisters rise how many sinnes shal rise with them Damocles lately acquainted with Philautia in speaking hir faire spendeth hir much and hauing a bolde face hath gotten bountifull fortune Aristippus though old yet liues he by the flatterie of Alexander and whether is it better my Genius to be flea-bitten or flout-bitten There are so manie faces now in maske that the World runnes all a masking and so manie bad men thriue by countenance that necessitie is the best mans cognisaunce Athens hath manie men that will spend a treasure for a title yet hauing gained the worldly title of happines alas how is it tickle Is it not a gay world I sawe Lais iest with Alcibiades last night and he endured it But when Phocion the last day tolde him he was proud Iupiter helpe me how was he peeuish Our Signiors are seuere our Ladies austeare It fareth in Athens as among the Sybarites who chace away Cocks frō their Cities because they are too watchfull and our Athenians counsaile from them for feare they should become honest What should Diogenes then doo but be singular to sée the better sort so sensuall I thinke it rather better to weare patches on my cloake than to beare the patch on my head rather to féede on rootes than to be defiled with royot to serue Nature in want than Fortune in wickednes But why speake I of want Breathe I not aire with the King Is not sufficiencie a sumptuous banquet warmth a worthie raiment and a good thought a true kingdome Tut Diogenes is rich who loytereth not on downe whilest others lack deuotion who sléepeth with Aristotle to wake and studieth with Cleanthes to watch But soft Cosmosophos doore is opened and Philoplutos is stirring shrowde thée Diogenes the one hath a stinking breath that corrupteth manie complections the other a far reach which excéeding the compasse of the Moone maketh some men sicke for want of the Sunne Soe sée how they prease foorth O Mercurie what God so euer hath a Temple I am assured thou hast a plentifull Altare In former ages Deuotion was thy father now Dooblenesse is thy furtherer thou haddest wings in thy hat but they are moulten and from their dust wickednes is sprung in thy followers hearts Blessing on him how grauely looketh Philoplutos nodding on his Mule as Silenus on his Asse pretending much grauitie but not a graine of honestie Now shall our Notaries get some coyne but note this there is some roosenage the still streame is déepest the stearne looke doublest Ah Foxe are ye walking But sée they are in conference the rot consume them for they consume the world Hide thée Cinick it is better to be Lord in thy tub than a lackey in their triumphes They approach me I would my curses could driue them from me They cleaue like burres to woollie garments and draw fléeces of wit from Philosophers applying it as craftie Phisitians doo their corosiues smothering much paine vnder pleasant perswasion and making the world beléeue that Venus is all wanton in that the report runneth shee was bred of the fome of the water Husht Diogenes the vultures are at hande silence in these dayes is a trim safeconduit Cosmo God giue you a good morrow Signior Philoplutos Philo Thanks good Cosmosophos whether away so early I feare mee you be sick of Chrisippus counsaile thinking no time good that is not gainfull Cosmo Trulie sir to gaine experience I am watchfull accompting the time verie well spent wherein a man anie wayes learneth to be expert what we lose in sléepe is but losse in life neither can we purchase more in liuing than not to be dead to liue Philo You say well Cosmosophos but some studie so much on time that all their indeuours are out of time I speake not this of you Sir whose experience in worldly affaires hath graced you among the better sort but of those who nodum in cirpo quaerunt tempring their studies in such manner as Musitions doo their strings who wrest them to so hie a reach that they stretch them beyond time tune or reason But to let them passe Cosmosophos if your businesse be not of great consequence shall I be bold to craue your companie Cosmo You may commaund me but whether may it please you Philo To Diogenes tub who as I vnderstand by his long plodding in reprehensions is become passing skilful in experience
me Philoplutos my ioyntes are not stiffe my face without furrowes my body without sicknes my life without hate and why I satisfie Nature without surfet I am not carefull of worldly things which bewitch men I am not curious of delicates to increase diseases neither enuying any man am I enuied by any man Is not this a trim felicitie in this life to be lorde both ouer himself and his affections Now heare me further Philoplutos thou must bee liberall they that haue full handes must haue frée hearts who distributeth his store in earth heapeth vp store in heauen There is nothing nicknameth the mighty more than niggardise It is one of the vanities most vaine vnder the sunne as the wiseman teacheth to heape vp without reason to kéepe with care and to die in contempt All the victories of Alexander made him not so famous as his bounty to Aristotle Neither liueth Scipio so much in his conquestes as in his liberalitie to the learned What auaileth it to build rich Towers which are subiect to wind fire force and engines to erect huge Piramides to plant faire vineyards these are but the scabs of superfluite which posterity perhaps become more continent will blame as the ruines of the great buildings of Constantine before him Vaspatian and diuers other Romanes Ah Philoplutos if thou wilt build a Pallace of eternity entertaine learned writers about thée in whose lines thou and thy posterity shall liue when the Rauen shall builde in thy brauest habitation I know thou art in the way to honour by reading and practising the liues of the auncients thou hast become a great staffe to the state Séeke therefore as carefull of thy common weale after thy death to raise vp by thy liberality those ripe wittes who may when thou wantest profit the commonweale so shalt thou in time to come be thoght a Mecoenas els now pointed at for a miser And next to the learned with the pen forget not those who deserue with the Pike they are members which while the Persian Monarks kept in maintenance and exercise they became Masters of the whole world Sesostris of Egypt had hee not had these helpes and restrained them in continence and maintained them in credit his father had lost all before he had wonne anie thing It was an old custome of Philip to loue Parmenio in that he was a good Leader Aiax had his place in the Grecian wars as well as Nestor and souldiers must be considered of as well in peace as in warre I know Philoplutos thou buiest a warme gowne against Winter and linest it well thou tylest thy house against stormes and lymest it well thou fencest thy grounds against cattell and kéepest them well and wilt thou not in like care prouide against the winter of enuy some able soldiers to preuent the enemie But thou wilt say souldiers are euery where to be gotten for money Athens is full of men wee haue store of munition why then should we care But what said Hanniball to Xerxes who demanded if his huge Armie armed in golde were not sufficient to ouercome the Romanes Yes said Hannibal smiling this were sufficient to ouercome the patientest and dastardest hart that liueth much more the Romaines meaning hereby that pompe is not the terrifying neither the multitude the amating of the enimy But resolute courages séeing great prises before them behaue themselues as those at the games of Olimpus they stretch strings and heart strings in expectation of reward Had not Darius a huge Host brauely furnished A milion of horsemen to attende on him and what then Alexander with thirty thousand experienced Macedons ouerthrew him Then what is a multitude We sée by experience that the olde Oxe trained to the yoake draweth better than the yongest Heighfer and that vse and experience hauing the Maistery in al things cannot be outfaced in military discipline Stretch pollicie to the highest point in Salomons daies beeing the wisest prince that liued maintaining as great peace as euer was the Captaines and the Officers of the Host were maintained so were they in his fathers daies in all good states the maintenance of souldiers is the planting of peace for the exercise and value of the souldier bréedeth feare in the enemie The Tartarians that inuaded Asia and some part of Europe and whose conquests are famous in India at first were a contemptible Nation But when Clangius the Smith had first brought them in exercise then beautified them with honours what Nation either heathen or Christian durst looke vpon them The Spanish haue as hot courages as we the Almaines are as bigge boand men the French as pollitique all these more exercised then we be as populous and more what want they then to be our Maisters what haue wee but hope and security which may deceiue Athens as it did Siracusa which was taken by a handfull of men in despight of the whole Iland Beléeue me Philoplutos there is no inconuenience more in this Citie than to sée Brokers dining at our Merchants tables and souldiers begging at euery mans dore To sée Tailors well paid for inuenting a new fashion soldiers scorned at for presenting a strong fortification If our Athenians will looke for no change then let them thinke to liue in no world If they be assured there will come change then let them be prouident against the change of the world In nature and the naturall constitution of the body the hands are as souldiers to execute the resolutions of the heart and the heart from hir vitall conduites sendeth bloud to warme the hands Such affinity and alliance ought to be betwéen the Gouernour that ruleth and the souldier that executeth there must some swéete shower of gold come out of his Coffers to refresh them or they waxe dul they are deuoured with idlenes so that when they should defende the heart their fingers are numbde they cannot fight because they want the vse of féeling Looke to this Philoplutos bee not accused for this cause the selfe care they saye suketh all The faire Lambes are onely reserued for selfe care the vines drop Nectar for selfe care the trees yéeld fruit for selfe care thus selfe care hath the swéete of all things whilst poore soldiers sweat fight and fast with care and all for care But the prouerbe is true care preserueth all things therefore self care is not pollitique in leauing the souldier nothing But the day passeth Cosmosophos haue at thée Smooth thou no more left the Gods smite whose eares since they are open to heare praiers will stir vp his wrath to reuenge your pernicious cruelties Flatter not your selues with opinions of delay for danger is no hireling he commeth as well in the dawne as in the darke leaue thy corruptions Simonies Briberies extorcions annihilations exceptions paradoxes policies these are the steppes to thy sinne These are the mischiefes that haue incited Achitophel Iudas to hang themselues who being not able to endure the violence and horror of their miquities thought it better to kill themselues than to abyde their deadly corment These are the furies that agitated Orestes These are they which as Cicero witnesses will breake thy sleepes because thy conscience beates thy braine and procures thy bane being therfore worldly wise so long as to extreme age became godly wise at last Let not worldly occasions detaine thée Twere better for thée to daunce in thy I acket than to be hanged in thy Iirkin Thou must not say I am enforced to deceiue others in that I must liue for by this life thou atchieuest death It is better to be poysoned with Socrates than to flátter with Aristippus Shut the doore before the stéede be stolne Looke before thou leap Feare before thou fall Repent before reuenge come The day is spent I am wearie with speaking The houre of meditation bids me leaue you Go you to your sumptuous leastes Leaue Diogenes to his chaste fast To morrowe if you visit mée againe I will rip vp nowe griefes Till when get you gone and if you forget good Lessons the diuell go with you for goodnes is departed from you Philo Farewell Diogenes as our occasions serue we will séeke thée out meane while I pray thée mittigate the austerity of thy tongue for it is too busie Dio Nay some sickenes fall vpon thy fingers for they féele too soone Cosmo Good Diogenes be patient he speaketh for thy best Dio God better him and thée too or else the best is noughts Philo Come let vs leaue him when hee leaueth his crabbednes the Sunne will want clearenes Dio And if you want craft the sea will lack water FINIS