sentence thou canst not send me into worser than flames or punish me longer than everlastingly Christ answers Oh how my bowels turn this sinner knows not what is in my heart he thinks I am his enemy Sinner shake off thy fears and wipe thine eyes thou shalt not die The Sinner speaks again Oh thou glorious God or Angel or I know not what to call thee do not delude or deride a poor Caitiff wretch in the midst of misery Why wilt thou raise me to such a pinacle of hope to cast me down and make my fall the greater My Judg hath passed the sentence I must die and who can reverse the doom Ah! I must go see my prison-door wide open the smoke and flashes come to meet my despairing soul half way Christ speaks And now my heart begins to break my love can keep no longer in how causelesly doth this wretch torment his heart he knows not who I am I must reveal my self Sinner I love thee I say thou shalt not die Come feel my heart and pulses how they beat and tell how strong my love within doth act them Dost thou not see I have left my Throne and am come down to the Bar where thou standest condemned But why dost thou weep Come let me wipe thine eyes and bind up thy bleeding and despairing heart I tell thee thou shalt not die If Heaven will have blood it shall have mine so it will but spare thine Sinner if thou knewest who I am thou wouldst not doubt one tittle I tell thee I am his Son his only Son that but now condemned thee I know he is just and justice must be fatisfied But do not thou fear if one of us must die it shall be I I will pour out my blood a sacrifice for sin and appease his wrath and make you friends again Ye innumerable company of Angels yet servants at my Fathers will why do ye rejoice to see my prisoner sent to Hell this cursed soul over whom in glory you do now triumph I do resolve to die for and to buy her to my self a Spouse and to make her blessed with your selves and give her a Princess's place on a Throne that is by my self Sinner speaks Is this a dream or am I waking the goodness greatness glory of this sudden unexpected blessed change tempts me to doubt whether it be true or whether it be some unruly fancy that doth delude this wretched heart of mine What! for the Son of God to debase himself so low as to take my nature and so my cause and become the prisoner What! and though he knows he shall be cast Will he hear the sentence and quietly bear bolts and shackles and chains which should have fettered me Yet more than this Doth he know it is impossible to get a reprieve from his Father and Judg and that he must most assuredly drink the bitterest dregs of Death more bitter than Devils or damned souls in Hell as yet ever tasted of For it is impossible the Cup should pass And can he will he dare he venture But stay I must be a Spouse to be exalted from this Dunghil to be a Princess to the Son and Heir of Glory Hold hold here 's enough it is a Dream an idle fancy of a distempered brain I shall never find a heart to believe one syllable But yet methinks if it be a dream 't is a Golden one Is it possible that such a damned wretch as I could harbour such silken gilded thoughts of such love grace mercy and tenderness of the Son of God Oh my heart if they were not true how came they into my mind or how came they to stay or could they if but meer fictions make such a change in my heart Could they so victoriously conquer all my fear silence all my doubts allay the heats of a scorched and be helled Conscience But why a dream poor wretched heart Didst thou not see him step off his Throne Was it a time to dream or sleep in when thou wert before the Judgment-seat while God was frowning and the Devils dragging thee to and fro to get thee away to Hell Oh then just then he stept down drew near and took thee by the hand and spoke these reviving words to thee Doubt this and doubt thy judgment But why a dream I am not now in Hells torments whither I was just now sentenced My heart is now at ease and quiet surely something must be the reason why the Devil that but now had hold of me hath left me Where is the Conscience that but now was burning in me But Oh cannot the presence of the Lord put me out of doubt Do not his words that were so kind his tender dealing with me doth not his stooping to me taking me by the arm and the gentle lifts that he gives to my drooping soul speak him present Oh! do not my head eyes arms heart breast and the ease of every joint and limb about me witness the same A way my unbelieving heart what a stir is here to make thee believe a thing so evident Doubt my mind and freely doubt I'â—e give thee leave when thou hast any occasion or reason for it But why should I doubt that which is past all doubt May I not believe my senses I both saw and heard him speak the words or shall I misdoubt his faithfulness I know he is the Son of God he cannot lye But is it true yet my God I pray thee be not angry with my scrupulous heart thou seest in tears I make the doubt let it be an argument to me of sincerity I do not ask that question as one that would be fain perswaded it's true Canst thou think my Lord that I would not be reconciled and cheerfully accept of Grace when thou so freely offerest it Oh but Lord speak these words to my heart which thou hast already spoke to my ear and thou wilt melt it into love and thankfulness and I shall never doubt it more Object But yet but what can Heaven love so much Answ Thou silly worm how idly dost thou question must Heaven and so its love be bound up to so narrow and contracted thoughts as thine are What can God love no more than thou canst Love is a perfection and God is infinitely perfect so must be infinitely and incomprehensively loving Thou fool go found the Sea and tell me its greatest depths give me the height of yonder Stars this possibly thou maist do for the Seas are not so deep but they have a bottom nor the Stars so high but they may by art be known But Oh the heights and depths and breadths and lengths of the love of our Redeemer He is God and his breasts are so full of love that they flow and overflow with love they have no bottom Do but try my soul cast thy self into this bottomless lovely Ocean into this endless Bosom and when thou hast been sinking millions of millions of years tell me whither
of his Father but March 25. 1672 he follow'd his Mother Upon the loss of him then his only child whom he greatly affected his mournful but religious Father set a fair copy to others of much Christian patience and submission to thei will of God He had staid three years a Widower from the death of his second and then Decemb 14. 1670 took to his third Wife with the good liking of her Parents Anna sole Daughter to Colonel Henry Markham one of an ancient Family and a Gentleman of his Majesties Privy Chamber By whom he had first Anna then Hester afterwards Thomas and lastly Nathaniel all these four he left alive but this last Son when he was about a year and an half old departed this life to go and rest with his Father gone about a twelve-month before LIV. It seems this famous servant of Christ was in Decemb. 1672 well nigh four years before his death by some illness at Theobalds admonisht of his frailty and being come to London as to preach his usual course so also to advise with a Physician for his health upon those symptoms were then upon him during which time in his house at Pickle-Herring he was suddenly surpriz'd with a kind of fainting fit that occasion'd some failure of spirits and sweatings which did a little startle him Hereupon by and by he call'd for a Candle went up stairs and retir'd himself into a private room not permitting either his Wife or Sister then to accompany him but addrest himself to God alone as one summon'd by him it might be shortly to appear before him Then after a while return'd to his dear Wife c. upon his coming down they observ'd an admirable raisedness of spirit in him who then greatly blessed God for a cold sweat and a trembling pulse which had occasion'd him to look more narrowly within where finding all well to his great comfort he behav'd himself as one that was not afraid then of an arrest to Judgment We find him indeed in his Memorials upon a former sickness from March 6th till the 16th recording I was cast into a fit of sickness God brought me into a wilderness but spake kindly to me He afflicted me but for a moment About a week after he adds I was exceeding well much melted having an eye open'd to see God in prayer by faith as if I spoke to any of my familiars This humble confidence of going to God as his Father was rais'd as he elsewhere where notes from discoveries of mortification and purity in heart And besides this he lays it down afterwards That Nothing speaks Adoption fuller than the discoveries of Gods love either to the answering thy prayers with reference to mortification and strength in grace or comfort Joh. 15.15 And adds The readiest way to come to spiritual disveries of the Mystery of the Gospel-promise is to do the commands of God Joh. 7.17 He was a sincere doer of Gods will and such God heareth LV. When in perfect health he would be thoughtful of changes and therefore would often pray that God would prepare him and his for sickness death and parting About half a year before his last sickness when he had exceeding sharp pain he said He would not have been without it to have been without those joys he felt by it Being resolv'd to leave his more expensive habitation at Theobalds to live in Southwark nearer to his old charge It seems the Family and Friends talking somewhat cheerfully of their removal his Eldest Daughter Anna then a Child betwixt four and five years old said unexpectedly What if my Father should go to London and die He was so apprehensive of a dying hour that he said after His Girl whom he had a great love for was a true Prophetess 'T was about three weeks and odd days before he died that he came to his house at Pickle Herring Stairs having preacht the first of those two last Sermons published on the eighth of October and the last on the 15th 1676. The next day following he was chearful in the morning but then afterwards that day his pains came upon him he possessed his own soul in more than ordinary patience And was not willing to confult a Doctor till the 24th after a week of extream pain night and day then with great importunity he was prevail'd with to send for one in great reputation for skill and practise Who conceiv'd at the first visit that it was the Stone not questioning at all but that he would do well notwithstanding This was on the Tuesday Octob. 24th That night after he slept well whereupon with a thankful heart to God he told some of his friends how he had been carried through Saying I am like a man who had gone over a precipice and looking back trembled to see the danger he had past through For saith he when I was in pain God supported me and now I stand amaz'd how I got through it He indeed did use often to say when he had seen others in great pain he was afraid of dying i. e. of the antecedent pains he might pass through but he was not afraid of being dead He knew full well that Death which was the dissolution of his soul and body would only open the passage to his soul to be for ever with the Lord. LVI On Wednesday 25th he rose pretty cheerful and spent some time in reading but after dinner his pains return'd again when he began to complain of sin saying Ah! vile sinner God is carrying me back again into the Wilderness to afflict me expressing some sorrow of heart but without any murmurring Then he bid his Wife to read the 88 Psalm by that time she had done Justice Reading and some other friends came to visit and condole with him Afterwards about seven of the Clock that night came in his second Wifes Brother Mr. W. Gibb's going for Bristol the next morning and his dear Wife Mrs. Sarah Gibbs who greatly respected and dearly loved this choice Servant of the Lord she indeed was a gracious Woman of a most sweet temper a choice one of his dear flock who since went to rest with him her faithful Pastor in glory Jan. 27. 1679 These were discoursing about his taking a Countrey-house nearer to London than Theobalds To which he replyed with much composure of spirit Yea God will provide me a Countrey meaning an Heavenly one Then his former Wifes Son Thomas Sharp 〈◊〉 about to go to Sea and come into the room He told him It was not likely they two should meet again here Whereupon he gave him with tears a most Pathetical Exhortation to mind his souls spiritual and eternal welfare and to serve God holily righteously and soberly in this present world which shew'd his great and conscientious solicitude for the real happiness of this young man committed to his charge The night after his great pains did again return with much acuteness And LVII On Thursday morning 26th he had sharp pains
a Lamb do there they saw thee in their ravenous jaws about to tear thy heart to suck out all thy blood and leave thee dead Have I not sat and read and read and wept in viewing over the story and could they forbear that with their watry eyes saw this scene then acted But whither O whither O ye blinded Jews are ye dragging this my Lord My spirit begins to faint I now can look no longer my heart now begins to swell with grief it must now break or I must vent it at mine eyes in streams Look see the Hammer and Nails the Hammer lift up to strike Bloody man thou durst not sure surely thou dost not know whose hands and feet thou art now piercing it is the Prince and Saviour of the world Foolish heart see how thou art mistaken look see it 's done the nails are driven to the head see how the crimson tears run trickling down his hands and feet and see how hardened hearts be laughing at it Oh silly foolish blinded men what laugh you at This very Christ whom now you mock shall be your Judg this very man Jesus whom you have thus abused shall come attended with thousands of Angels with the sound of Trumpets and shall sit upon your life and death Him whom you now have nailed to a Cross hath God exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour What then will you do when that great and terrible day of the Lord shall come How will you look him in the face whom you have spit on How will you dare to speak a word for your selves to him whom you have nailed to a tree and crucified His wounds in hands side and feet shall all bear witness against you and his innocent blood that you have spilt shall cry aloud about the throne for vengeance against you your flouts shall then be turned into tears and your taunts into lamentations And how will you then look and cry when God passeth sentence on you and thrust you down to Hell to bear the punishment of your sins this is the Lord that came to spare your lives yet your wickedness spared not his and how at length can you think to escape with yours But once again look up my soul and see what is become of thy nailed and crucified Lord Ah me he is not quite dead look how he gasps and pants for life Oh how his looks are changed How pale and wan do I see his cheeks the blood and all the spirits are quite drawn from them Methinks he should be dead for see how weak his neck is grown that it is not able to support his head that lyes a dying on his bleeding breast What yet not dead see how he shakes and stirs his dying limbs what gasps and groans do I hear him fetch as if his soul were strugling to get out Hark hark he speaks Oh let me catch the last breath of my dying Saviour What saith my Lord Hark what dost thou not hear what My God my God why hast thou forsaken me I am amazed to hear these words How couldst thou suspect thy Fathers love How could he be far from thee who was one with thy self But Oh! this is but the voice of his Manhood and not of his Godhead It was the voice of the dying and bleeding Man Jesus not the voice of the God Jesus But Oh my Lord what are those pains and gripes thou feelest that brings forth these complainings But why do I ask this question hath he not been all this while a drinking up the cup his Father gave him the bitter and sowr and poysonous cup of his Fathers wrath which I and all the world had else drunk of he just now swallowed down the last mouth full of the dregs whose bitter noisome taste hath sent forth these doleful lamentations for mark he had no sooner spoke these words but he gasped his last The causes of his Death And must the Son of God be humbled thus must he that was from everlasting raised and advanced above every name in heaven and earth he that lay in the arms and breast of God loved by the Father and his only Son honoured adored admired and beloved of ten thousand times ten thousands of Angels But must this God leave all this glory and change that sweet Heavenly and delightsome Palace for so mean so low so dirty a cottage as to be born a man And must his entertainment at first be no better than a stable or a manger could give him No sooner must he begin to live but must an enemy assault his life Must he travel up and down this earth and spend his time and strength in preaching glad tidings to miserable undone men and fill the world with signs and wonders and not deserve so much of men as a house to dwell in or a hole to put his head in and after all this humble holy long-suffering life must he be thought of by this unthankful and unbelieving world as one not worthy to live and not have a breathing in that air which he both made and gave them to breathe in but must he at length be laid hold of by a traiterous Judas that he had once taken for one of his own Apostles and must he suffer all this But ah alas what is this must he be also crowned with thorns and must he sweat and bleed Oh far more than tongue can utter Oh astonishing condescension thus did the Son become a servant and learn'd obedience by his sufferings and served a three and thirty years apprenticeship in the pain and travel of his soul here on earth a longer time than Jacob served for his beloved Rachel and that because he loved us better and therefore gave a better dowry for us But had I lived to have seen this Prince of Glory thus disguis'd this Eastern Sun thus benighted in a cloud this glorious God thus wrapped up in rags of flesh should I have known him or not my sensual heart I doubt thee much wouldst thou have cleaved to him loved him better than thy life and have said Though all leave thee I will not and with Paul I am willing and ready not only to be bound but to die for thee What thinkst thou Oh my soul couldst thou have left Husband Wife Father and Mother and all the rest of thy friends and have sold all that thou hast and followed him what him whom the Prophet foretold Isa 53.23 He hath no form or comeliness in him that you should desire him he is despised and rejected of men a man of sorrows and acquainted with griefs Tell me tell me couldst thou have divorced thy self from all and have taken this seemingly uncomely person for thy Lord and only Husband Ah me I do not know my heart but surely had I known him as I do now know him I should not have stuck at any thing for him For what if his Face did want comeliness seeing it came so with tears and grief
for thee and wilt thou love thy friend the worse because he shares in sorrow with thee for thou canst not but know that he came from Heaven to take to himself a Spouse on Earth and if I was one that he loved and grieved for to see my stubborn heart so hard to yield was this the cause he wanted beauty Oh such a want as this is lovely and methinks my heart could have cleaved the closer to him There was no beauty or comeliness in him and what of that my ugly and deformed soul deserves more loathing my righteousness the comeliest part about me is but rags or a menstruous cloth if there were no more desirableness in him than in me Oh had I loved him then and left all for him it were no wonder but that he should love me I rather stand amazed There was no beauty in him it may be so but could it be otherwise expected from him who came to work in fire and smoke who came to quench the flames of Hell and to satisfie Gods wrath and justice to pull out filthy souls from the jaws of lustful sensual flesh and blood it was not beauty but strength that was here needful A glance of an amorous eye would not have wounded Satan and made him fall from Heaven like a flash of Lightning A comely countenance could not have inchanted and unbar'd Hell-gates and made them fall and break before him into shatters What need a fair hand to touch our filthy rotten souls and take them up in menstruous blood and wash them clean or what need such clean hands to clasp about the rusty iron gates wherein I and all the world lay bound in chains and to pull them down to take our cankered bolts and knock them off to take us by the hand to help us up and lead us out Alas there needs no such eye face or hand for such a work It is powerful all-conquering strength that is here required It was a powerful victorious arm that here was needed and such a one he had But what should he do with a beauteous body that must be so abased and abused as his was an uncomely face will serve where it must be spit on What must he do with a fair soft delicate tender hand which must be pierced another kind of hand is good enough to knock a nail into And what needs his body be of a clear white thin transparent skin will not any serve that body that must be bruised and wounded as his was nay as it was necessary his should be But why thus necessary either he must be thus dealt with or else my sin cannot be pardoned Either he must be despised of men or I must be of God Oh he must drink up this bitter cup with all its dregs or else I must have drunk it up my self It was I that sinned and I must have suffered this cursed proud and earthly heart of mine rebelled and broke the Laws and should have suffered and born the punishment had not he stept in and born the stroke off from me I had been now burning in everlasting flames and have been lingering out this time in torment which I am now spending in the sweet thoughts of my escape And is not this all true speak out my soul hath not the Prophet said as much Surely saith he he hath born our griefs and carried our sorrows he was wounded for our transgressions he was bruised for our iniquities the chastisement of our peace lay upon him and by his stripes we are healed All we like sheep are gone astray we are every one turned to his own way and the Lord hath laid upon him the iniquities of us all He was oppressed he was afflicted yet he opened not his mouth he was brought as a lamb to the slaughter and as a sheep before the shearers was dumb so he opened not his mouth He was taken from prison and judgment and who shall declare his generation for he was cut off from the land of the living And for the transgression of my people was he smitten Thou seest thy debt and thy Saviours payment of it these are no fictions thou hast just now read a sure word of Prophecy that hath confirmed it Those wounds those stripes those bruises which thou readest of he bore for thee and which were due to thee It was thou that shouldst have been led from prison to judgment from prison to the Judgment-seat of the great God who should have sat as Judg he should have arraigned thee sentenced thee and have sent thee to the slaughter-house of Hell where thou shouldst have been weeping and wailing and gnashing of thy teeth But Oh amazing love and grace the Son of God that loved me better than his life stept off his Throne and took my nature on him and became a man like to me only sin excepted he came and bid me comfort my trembling heart he would put himself in my condition and become the prisoner and if my sin would cost his life he would freely part with it Methinks I feel my bowels turn my spirits melt within me was ever love like to his love he was a stranger to me why did he not let me die It was his Father I did wrong why did he not let me suffer What if my punishment was as great as Hell surely I did deserve it What if my pains and screeches were eternal Ah! I was a creature a worm a fly a nothing to him and what need he have cared but he loved me and could he love a prisoner at the Bar I was a sinner a vile polluted one methinks he should have loathed me but he did wash thee and make thee clean again I but I was his Fathers enemy and so no friend to him or would he love an enemy or did he not know so much but how could that be when he saw my heart and the enmity that was in it yes he did and yet he loved thee even while we were enemies he died for us But why did he love an enemy or how could he do it I know not why it is past my reason to imagine it Oh inexpressible love Oh love past thought I cannot fathom thee with my reason thy ways are unaccountable he loves because he will love And though his love displeaseth us yet it pleaseth him to love us What ails my heart I cannot find it stir What dead under the reviving thoughts of thy dearest Redeemer I just now said he loved thee though an enemy and when thou lovedst not him I see the enmity is not quite remov'd thou canst not love him yet Arise shake up thy self and look about thee thou dost not sure see thy mercy surely thou understandest not what thou oughtest to understand Come away Oh come away lift up thy drowsie head I will make thee look and love while I set thee all on burning and make thee ere I leave thee confess thou lovest him Think think Oh my soul
you come to ground Ye glorious Angels and ye blessed spirits of just men made perfect that live above you that have been wading downward these five thousands of years do ye feel a bottom or are ye near one Away away my foolish heart if this be all thou hast to plead he may redeem thee and take thee for his Spouse and betroth thee to himself notwithstanding all this Object But Oh this filthy loath some fleshly self this base unthankeful earthly heart that can prefer a dunghill dross and dirt before him that can freely lay out his love to a creature like my self But Oh how hard and stiff and unrelenting am I to my God But Oh he will slight me because I have often put him off and slighted him he cannot love and die for such a one as I am Answ Cease fool thy reasonings he cannot love an enemy because thou canst not he cannot die because thy cowardly heart will not suffer thee Why should he fear the grave that had power over it And what though thou art unworthy of his love if he will have thee and make thee worthy Thy heart is base and what of that if he will mend it thy filthy rotten and polluted soul he intends to wash and cleanse it till it is without spot and wrinkle or any such thing Thy stubborn proud earthly and lustful heart he can make humble tender soft and yielding And when he hath made thee as he would why may not he take thee to himself and lay thee next his heart and delight over thee everlastingly Object But will his Father yield to this I am too poor a match for the Son and heir of all things But will he can he suffer his Son to die to buy such a beggarly thing to himself as I am Answ Away these silly simple childish thoughts how like an inhabitant of this earthly sensual world dost thou reason thou wilt not under-match and therefore will not God his Son Thou fool thou wilt not because thou canst find another equal But dost thou not know that God can find none equal to his Son he must stoop or else go without It 's true he might have gone without but what if he would not why should not Heaven have its will as well as thou Thou hast no dowry and he doth need none and yet thou arguest as if Heaven would make traffick with his Son and his love as we filly worms do here but we are beggars and so are Angels and all the glorious Hosts above they are his Creatures hang and depend upon him and cannot subsist one moment happy without supplies and helps of his Grace and why may he not bring a beggarly man as near to himself as a beggarly Angel if so it pleaseth him Object But doth it so please him Answ How often have I told thee it doth please him and hast thou not believed Come if thy hearing will not satisfie let thy seeing do it Look if thou hast eyes Come tell me doth not Heaven look as though it was pleased with the offer of his Son What cloud or darkness dost thou see about the Throne what sign or token of displeasure canst thou at all discover Open thine eyes view the God of Glory Do his looks bespeak him to be thy Father or thy Judg And canst thou not read both Husband Father and Lord and all in his countenance What not see it surely thou art blind If he had not told as much from his own mouth his eyes and looks bespeak his love and favour loud and clear enough to thee But doth he not tell thee to put thee out of all doubt this is my well beloved Son hear him hear him what 's that believe him whatsoever he says why what saith he O dull and stupid heart hast thou forgot already He said he will pay his life for thine and doth not his Father bid thee hear him He said he would reconcile thee love thee and make thee friends again And is it not comfort when the Father bids thee believe him he said he will pardon wash and cleanse thee and take thee to himself and betroth thee to him for ever and after all will give thee to see his Glory even the same Glory which he had before the world And the Father is willing to all this for he tells thee his Son is his well-beloved Son and bids thee believe him and misdoubt not one syllable And canst thou after all this doubt that the Father is not willing But do not his Angels likewise who are ministring spirits with voice and looks proclaim as much that Heaven is well pleased with the Son and with his Death and Passion and so with thee in him Do not the Angels admire the mystery of Redeeming Grace that makes them so desirous to peep into it Why did they proclaim his coming into the world and sing for joy that there was good-will in Heaven to men on earth or why do they so diligently attend thee by night and by day Thou seest them not keep guard about thy Chamber-door and round about the curtains of thy bed Why do they attend thee from room to room and follow thee down stairs and out of doors if it were not but that thou art some great Princess nearly allied to their Lord and Master Thou dost not see this blame then thine eyes and the infidelity of thy heart shall it be less true because thy base infidelity cannot digest it Thou might doubt God Heaven and every thing else on that score but hast thou not it from his own mouth that the Angels are ministring spirits for the heirs of glory Come tell me I say tell me quickly I must have an answer Can this and all this be true and Heaven yet not be pleased If God with his Son and Angels be all content that thou shouldst be restored and so exalted to such dignities as to be heir unto the Crown of Heaven if these be pleased who is there in Heaven that can else be displeased What saith my heart what not yet one word Oh how long shall I be troubled and pestered with thy unbelief Oh my God strike chide and break this flint reprove this stubborn and unbelieving heart I cannot perswade it that thou lovest me or art willing to love me I urge thy word and my best reason to prove it but I cannot make it yield Oh break I pray thee this Flint or Adamant upon thy downy breast of love strike and one blow of thine will make it fall in pieces and confess at length that thou art well pleased with thy Son and fully satisfied that he should bleed and die for me But let me try thee once again if thou hast lost thine ears and eyes I 'le see if thou hast lost thy feeling too Thou sayest thou canst not believe that God is willing to accept the Son for thee or that thou so vile a wretch canst be accepted of by the Father
thee Friend how camest thou hither not having on thy Wedding-garment He sees thy heart and sees thou hast it on Oh he comes and it is but to whisper thee a welcome in thine ear it is but to fall about thy neck and kiss thy be-tear'd cheeks and bid thee a kind welcome to thy bleeding Lord. Soul Oh did I think to be thus much made of I thought he would not have minded me but I did no sooner appear and set my feet within the doors but he ran to meet me he took me in his arms he brought me hither and set me here Is this a house or is it a Palace Is this a Court for Princes or for Angels Never did place more ravish me into amazement than this place Beautiful are thy gates O Zion O how pleasant is the habitation of the most high Is it the place or the company that strikes me into astonishment Now I can say most feelingly say with David My delights are with the Saints of the most high and the most excellent of the earth Their poverty their disgrace their contempt amongst whom they live do not puzzle my quick-ey'd Faith these are the Kings Daughters that are all glorious within their garments are of needle-work imbroidered over with pure gold fine-spun gold These O these hovv poor and mean soever they are or may seem to be these shall sit vvith Christ to judg the World Oh! hovv my foul is ravished vvith delight to see and look on those with whom I shall live for ever If they are so lovely now what will they be hereafter when our God shall take them and scowr off their rust and wash their Garments bright in the Sun-shine of his countenance and change those mortal and corruptible bodies into immortal and glorious ones and set them upon Thrones about himself and lade their heads with Crowns of massy gold and when I shall hear them warbling out the everlasting Praises of the Lamb whose Body and Blood we all sit down to feed on Communion-Plate Never was Gold or Silver graced thus before To bring this Body and this Blood to us is more than to Crown Kings or be made Rings For Star-like Diamonds to glitter in The Bread Welcome Fairest take and eat 't is the sweetest dainties dearst morsel Heaven can afford thee Welcome my Dear to the Table of thy Lord. Welcome a thousand times I bid thee yea welcomer than thine own heart can wish Take eat this morsel it cost my life it 's a portion thy Father sent unto thee by me and bid me remember thee of his love to thee He bids thee remember a Fathers love I a Saviours He hath a heart to give thee and so have I. Take this in earnest of them both in one Take freely if thou wert not welcome I would have told thee I would have asked thee for thy Wedding-garment knew I not thy heart or if I were uncertain of thy love I would have scorn'd thee as unworthy of my presence did I know thou lovest any thing above me I would have hid my face and never have spoke thee a welcome so feelingly and kindly to thy soul Tell me O tell me dost thou not love me I know thou dost and above Father or Mother Wife or Child Lands or Living or Credit I know thou dost And wilt thou not take the Cross and follow me I know thou wilt I see and know the labour of thy love I remember the pains and travel of thy soul I saw thee follow me on thy knees in tears and begged my life rather than thy life I know thy heart I saw it bleeding before my Throne I took it in my arms and bound it up and in that breast I remember I put it up again I saw thee when no eye saw thee I heard thee and had compassion on thy groanings whilst thou wert complaining that I had shut out thy prayers I well remember since thy heart did first fall sick with love since the time thy flesh began to die and since thou laidst thy self in the grave down by me and wert willing to die to all this vain empty glory of the world because I died and left it I know thee well enough Thou art mine and I am thine Take it I charge thee eat it as thou lovest me and whilst thou feedest remember the love of thy dearest Redeemer Soul Oh 't is the sweetest meat that ever tongue did tast it sends a rellish to my very heart I find it digests as it deseends I feel my nerves and sinews strengthen I never knew that bread was the staff of life till now Oh how fit is my soul now for Christ How easie do I now find his yoke how light his burden Methinks I could watch or pray or read more earnestly resolvedly believingly than ever Oh! methinks I can take his Cross and bear it strongly and take the shame and despise it fully Oh 't is a feast of fat things The richest banquet of love that ever I was at it was but a little that I took and it fills me full my hungry stomack now crys 't is enough I find it now verified to my soul and spirit that he that eats of this bread shall never hunger more Well I need not starve when there is such bread in my Fathers house I need not I will not I cannot feed any longer on husks with the swine of the world I fed on air and smoak before I never tasted substantial bread till I tasted of this This is the staff of my life and upon this will I support my self to my very grave The Wine Christ Come my Dearest I have drunk and thou shalt pledg me I have broached my side and drew it on purpose for thee This is a Wine of mine own making when I trod the Winepress of my Fathers wrath It is my blood but take and drink it it was the cause of my wounding but to thy soul it shall prove healing I died and bled it was but to make this Banquet for thee I have brought thee into my Wine-cellar and my Banner over thee shall be love Fear not take and drink thou hast an ulcer in thy heart and this shall cure it spots and stains of guilt on thy soul and this shall purge them away thy spirits are faint this shall revive thee thou art afraid to see thy Fathers face this shall make thee to draw near the Throne of Grace with boldness Drink I charge thee drink on thy love and loyalty to me I command thee as thou wilt have thy heart to mend thy wounds to cure thy spirits to revive thy fears to scatter thy soul to love and obey me take O take this cup into thy hand taste it and praise my love Soul Lord I have taken I have drunk as thou hast bid me I neither could or dare deny thee Can I refuse thy blood when I have accepted thy self Or can I accept my pardon at thy hands and
man would have done it 2 And was not God himself slighted by those that were invited to the feast Was not Christ worse than slighted and was not Paul called a Babler and the Gospel foolishness 3 But consider further Is not the Gospel and the God of it slighted in thee the message thou knowest is not thine but his that sent thee 4 And think is it not natural for the carnal mind to have unsavoury dark foolish thoughts of the Gospel was it not always so did not Christ wonder seeing their unbelief 5 But think it 's God in Christ or the strictness and spiritualness of the Gospel that they undervalue and think nothing of the excellency of They say it 's thou speakest nothing they would say the other but they dare not speak out and so they cast it on thee and art thou not willing rather to suffer than it wouldst not thou have interposed thy face to Christ to have received the spittle and kept it from him and thine head to have been crowned with thorns and what dost thou shrink in taking of this 6 But think what reason have they to charge thee with a nothingness and impertinency in preaching what mean so many to follow thee they may hear nothings and impertinencies nearer home Wherefore go on chearfully and boldly in thy work and regard not what some few scoffers say when thou art carrying on that work for the good of souls which the Lord will own and bless HYMN I. WHat ails my soul to look so wan My vitals they are fled What faintings do I feel within My heart as 't were is dead Love-beams do shine full in my face From off the throne above They sparkle glories round my soul Yet yet I cannot love I see the Heavens open wide My Lord upon his throne I see his Saints all cloth'd in gold Bedeckt with glittering stone I fee a Crown held in his hand To set upon my head If once I were laid low in grave Yet yet my heart is dead What my distemper is God knows It 's cause I can unfold My heart lay down upon the earth And there it caught a cold This this alone had been enough My health to overthrow But I of flesh a surfeit took Which made my grief to grow Lord what compassions in thy looks What pearls stand in thine eye Like a kind friend thou turn'st away As loth to see me die No cordials can my sp'rits revive Those glorious sights do'nt move Oh I am lost there is no hope I see yet cannot love My God! my God! don 't me forsake If I must needs then die Whil'st I am breathing out my last Oh! do but thou stand by Help help thou great soul-curing God In languishments I lye Speak but the word my heart revives Oh yet I shall not die I find my native heat restor'd My wonted joys return I love thee Lord I love thee now With love my heart doth burn Oh what are all the things below What toys they seem to me When shall I leave them and come up To dwell my Lord with thee HYMN II. The Souls Farewell to her Body TIr'd with a body now at last In travel on my road I must take Inn and rest my self I must of flesh unload I see my prison-walls fall down And mold'ring into dust I feel my chains of flesh break off As eaten up with rust Oh! I am going help my God! A little respite give Reverse thy sentence add some years That I on earth may live Ah! foolish soul how fond of life Dost thou thy self betray Why a few minutes more dost thou With tears for life thus pray Are not the years enough thou ' st been A Pilgrim here below Thy Father calls bids come away Ah! fool thou wilt not go What seest thou in this wicked world That thus delights thine eye A father brother or dear friends Thou ' lt find them all on high Thy Saviour hath a Palace there Imbost about with Gold Thine's but a den where now thou dwell'st Whose walls scarce keep out cold What canst thou see more than thou hast The same Sun runs its round The rivers ebb and flow alike No new thing can be found The pleasant faces of thy friends Thou feest but o're again The sweets of meats and drinks thou tasts Are but the very same Yet these sweet and beloved things Have thorns been in thy side Their Prickles have so torn thy heart Thou scarce could'st them abide But Oh thou lump of Gold my Soul How full of dross and tin Thy Father would but melt thee now And purge thee of thy sin Thou art my Soul a ball of light Here in dark lanthorn place't God in a golden socket would Thee set to burn not waste Arise my Soul come shake thy plumes Prepare thy self for flight Like a fledg'd Eagle mount aloft And bid the world Good-night Farewell then dearest friends farewell Farewell fond world I say Lord now I come Oh take me up With sighs and groans I pray HYMN III. The Resurrection of our Blessed Lord. ON Golgotha that fatal day While Christ on Cross did bleed The whole Creation groan'd they say To see that bloody deed The Earths big heart with sorrow swells Which burst out in earth-quakes The Sun his eye hides in a cloud The lowring Heaven shakes The bodies of the dead arise Most ghastly look and wonder Because mens hearts nor garments rent The Vale doth tear asunder Yet one thing do I admire more To see a God-man dead His breathless royal trunk they took And laid in grave deaths-bed Like conquer'd captive there he lies In th' prison of a grave Three days the tyrant death him holds In fetters like a slave So long said he I 'le lye then cry'd Hell grave death do your worst Fast tye me bind me chain my hands I 'le all your fetters burst Rowl rowl a stone upon his tomb The Jews of Pilate pray Set watch and ward lest that his friends By night steal him away With bills and lanthorns there they stand With scoffs they him deride See how he riseth jeeringly They flout one very side At length the third days morn doth dawn Our Lord begins to ' wake Whilest the hard stony Cover-lid Away the Angel takes Look look the watch-men see they run As frighted hark their crys The buried Jesus he is risen We saw him with these eyes Shout shout for joy ye Saints of his This is your Saviour dear When you this wretched life must leave Graves Coffins do not fear This day a perfect conquest he Of grim-lookt death hath made Your moulder'd rotted bodies he Can raise as he hath said HYMN IV. Of our Lords Ascension into Heaven I Sometime wondred why thou Lord Those forty-days didst stay On earth betwixt thy Grave and Crown Or thy Ascension day It seems most like a Captain great After some bloody fights Who walks to shew his friends he lives And puts his Host to rights Thus all things
fire I soon with beams it crown'd So now my flame grew higher O what a warmth I felt Each pow'r about did glow My soul began to melt And round my body flow Lord cri'd I what a bliss What lavish glory 's this We feel when thou dost shake And dost our hearts to fitters break A Divine SONG I. COME O ye winged Angels from above Can you not tell me news of him I love Where he ascended When the Clouds him took And wafted him Beyond what we could look Did he not pass the Sun and pierce the sky Tell me Tell me For it 's the same that here did die II. What did he when within your gates he came Did he strip off his rags or wear the same Yea but much mended Each jag glory wore They are the same But brighter than before That very torn flesh now wears Majesty And shall And shall When time yields to eternity III. Go search the Thrones and tell me where 's his place You may him know by th' shinings of his face Is'nt he set higher Then all your degrees Of Seraphims Or Cherubs if you please Doth not his brightness Put your glory out And you And you Fall down to worship round about IV. Can you inform me what 's his business there Whether of us he taketh any care Doth there burn incense Are perfumes there sweet Are there the prayers Which we lay at his feet Doth he accept them and his Father too Tell me Tell me But nought but what you know is true V. You flaming fires that attend his will Can you inform how long 't will be until The winged winds shall Bring their Royal load Or how long he Will make with you his ' bode Are you preparing clouds whereon to ride Oh when Oh when Will you come flaming by his side VI. If you him see pray tell his longing bride Begs that he comes the world his stay deride We groan for freedom Their sins vengeance cries Since we are fit O will the Lord arise Will he come crown us and the wicked burn Or stay Or stay Till more stray-souls unto him turn VII If that's his meaning tell him then that we Wait still believing and will patient be We know he will not Quite forget us here We are belov'd Which will at length appear Let him but purge us scowr off our rust And then And then Let him but haste us to the dust A wounded Conscience I. CHide chide no longer I do smart Thy words my Soveraign they are keen They plow deep surrows in my heart And scatter seeds of wrath between Oh! what an harvest is here like to be Thou maist reap glory but I misery II. My sin is poyson rank enough Do not with it thine anger blend If thou wilt force me drink it up It will it self work out my end If thou would'st have me die thou need'st not go But to my Conscience whence doth venom flow III. If thou intendest to torment Thou need'st not send me down to hell Keep thou but up an angry look It 's pain enough where e're I dwell Where thy beams shine not but keen angers flame Must make hell-torment or a pain wants name IV. Guns fire nor sword doth Soldier fright The Mariner laughs in a storm The Shepherd fearless is by night The Martyr counts his fire but warm If thou but cast'st a frown my spirits fail My heart it panteth and my looks wax pale V. Though my Spirit doth rocky seem If thou in anger dost it smite It gusheth forth in briny stream That even suffocates my light Thy frowns may well cause dews in flinty mind When at thy blows hard marble tears can find A Petition for a prospect of Immortalities HUmbly my God! I beg of thee I might Discharg'd a while from prison take my flight Into those regions where I may converse With naked Spirits let my conceptions dress Sit close and comely to each thing that I With a clean mind shall venture to descry While Earths dull off spring children of the night To coop their thoughts in shades of sense delight While Owls and Bats are flut'ring with their wings About this gross dark world for earthly things Oh! let me snatch a glimpse of that above And steal a glance of thee thou God of love Why is my half a spirit if that I May not converse with Spirits till I die May I converse with thee thou dazling Sun Father of Spirits why not when I 've done May not I look upon the Stars and take A view of their less brightness while I ' wake Why should my Taper sweal away for nought But me to gaze on things scarce worth a thought Scarce worth a thought if but compar'd to thee And that retinue that in Heaven be O charge me not of niceness that I fain Of other worlds would some small knowledg gain Pass me not home if thou a Pilgrim find Me in my travels alas my wearied mind Is tir'd with this world this muddy smoke From Earth doth ev'n my languid spirits choak Let me but take a little air that I May be refresht then home again I 'le hie I do conceive a vast extended Sphere Farther above the Stars than we are here Repleat with matter some thick some thin and light In which are bodies some opake and bright Tumbling about so doth our earth where we As on a float swim round the world we see In th' center of which orb as in a Throne Sits the adored Triad all alone Shooting their Omnipresent beams about Filling the Sphere within and space without Without I dare not say they idle are For God is pleas'd not only here but there Yet we are sure throughout this golden ring His beams have been faecund in ev'ry thing And do continue chearing as a Hen Her Chicks does nourish in her father'd den But their productions vary some opake That eyes may see nose smell and hands may take Others so fine so rare that no sense can Grope out a touch such is the sp'rit in man Such are the Angels spirits more refin'd From earthly tincture than the humane mind Such that no razor knife or sword can wound Where was the carcass of an Angel found As glassie Scissers would clip off a ray Just so keen steel may cut a spirit in tway Spirits through steel can freelier pass than light Can through that Scisser that it takes its flight In fire they burn not having no flesh to fry Where did you see an Angel Martyr die They sport about the belly of the deep And yet their sides no briny-tears do weep Just as I 've seen the Sun pass through her beams And pierce the bosom of clear crystal streams Yet have they liv'd unquench'd nor have they been Moistned with th' cold dampy parts within Cast them in pits ram them up fast with earth From these dark wombs they 'l find a pass for birth Clap them in dungeons lock them up in chest Stop up
well why only if it was for any thing it was to read of the Controversie of Mr. Goodwin Yet as it prov'd by the all disposing Providence it was indeed for another business For as soon as I was in my Chamber I was exceedingly melted for those former sins Oh happy time Oh blessed spirit that led me not with my Saviour into the Wilderness to be tempted but to the Table of my Lord to feed on his fat things Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name On Friday before Easter 1651 I had no small joy in prayer never to my remembrance found I such a spirit of indefatigability before O praise God my soul and hie to God! And elsewhere he writes I have found in the various dispensations of Gods love and his dealing with me such a temper as this I have gone to prayer and laboured under such indisposition of soul and hardness of mine heart that I could not tell how to speak to God all sparks of faith as to the casting of my soul upon God seem'd to be extinct all breathings after God and Christ seem'd to be dead sin seem'd as nothing I sought to lay them to my charge yea and according to their aggravations I laboured to set Hell as to its torments before me that by them I might be startled Mine heart was so hard sin and its aggravations did as it were rebound back and convictions would not stick Methought Hell and its torments in this case no more frighted me than a sword at a blind mans throat would startle him I sought indeed that mine heart might be softned yet then but in word desires came not kindly from mine heart and in such a case I left praying this being night The next morning I went to duty again with a perhaps God will be gracious but found my soul hard as before and having pray'd a while and finding no comfort in it I was thinking to break off and so I should had not God prevented me by putting such an argument into my mouth as this Lord canst thou that hast said thou art a Father of such tender bowels suffer thy poor child thy poor creature to plead thus with thee for a broken heart and thou with hold it so stifly from him Upon this mine heart was exceedingly full and broken dissolved even into tears Oh ye Saints remember that Gods workings are arbitrary XXV As he records the failings and comforts he had before in and after prayer so we have him noting It is a good means to keep a mans soul up in a constant frame If he every day call his soul to a question How he hath walked with God that whole day And those sins he finds he hath fallen into that day let him resolve to watch against more strictly the next day and beg strength against them and by doing of this he shall quickly find a growth in grace and victory over his corruptions He adds When thou art ever pleading with God against sins remember that they are Gods enemies as well as thine Tell God he hates sin and wickedness and these are the enemies that thou art conflicting with and assure thy self God will not stand as a neuter but will take thy souls part as David in the fifth Psalm And again consider that thy soul is as a Common-wealth Christ the King thy corruptions the enemies now you know that the King is as much or rather should be more engag'd against the enemies of his Kingdom than the subjects are because the destruction of them or their victory strikes more upon his honour XXVI It is an hard thing to believe that a mans prayers are heard except he finds some warmings in his spirit in prayer either in solid joy or an hearty mourning Here these cases came to be resolv'd viz. Seeing the Children of God are often drawn out in prayer at By times a poor soul begins to reflect upon his own experiences and finding no such matter perform'd by himself is apt to be discouraged and to doubt whether God ever loved him First Thou must know though such dispensations are ordinary yet not necessary The Spirit can work without them as doubtless he doth in many Secondly Perhaps it hath not been Christs want of love to thee but thy negligence towards him He hath knocked and thou hast not opened Oh! this is a repulse to the King of Glory a sad dealing with thy Jesus with a Christ that was all a-sweat for thee and had his sides running out water and blood for thee to let him stand and knock without and give him no lodging Object Yea but the soul may say I have often watcht mine heart and markt the breathings of my soul whither they tended Godward or no but alas I was hard and blind a sottish creature Ans First Let such a consideration as this serve to humble thee but not to deject thee Know that there is a time when God will not be found and that is upon thy slighting of his former tenders Oh! when ever thou findest thy self in such a case forementioned Go and bewail before God thine hard and rough dealings with him Secondly Consider that upon such a reflexion on thy self and finding thine heart dead and listless to prayer it is very probable that the Spirit of God calls thee out at that time to prayer against thine hardness thy listlesness and blindness as to the discoveries of thy self and Gods love towards thee Oh! take heed of slighting such a tender as this Perhaps thou maist never have more of such tenders as these are and that thou maist wrestle a blessing out of Gods hand urge God with his own promises in the 54th Chapter of Isaiah it is a most spiritual and raising Chapter Here it may be Queried How to know that God hides himself out of love to me This to me is a strong evidence that God hides himself out of love to me after some miscarriage of soul 1 When God by my fall into a sin makes me more cautious of that sin for the future 2 God by that sin discovers my base heart to me 3 When God draws out my soul to beg earnestly for strength of him against it But a man after he hath fallen into some sin may take up resolutions against it and yet fall into it again 'T is true there is scarce a Saint but hath experienc'd this very thing and the reasons of it are not dark 1 On Gods part he will make his Saints to know that resolutions nor prayers nor any duty else can conquer sin He would have them acknowledg when corruptions are subdued it came from God that so they may put the crown of mortification upon his head 2 On our part let us examine our selves whether we did resolve in the strength of Christ If not it 's no wonder if we fall If we say we did Let 's examine our souls whether we did apply our selves to God
the Presbytery and Prayer in a great Congregation at St. Mary-Axe Church London like a good Husband-man as he was careful when he had sown his seed with diligence in Preaching of the Word to see how it sprang up so he was to prepare the ground for the receiving of it by Catechizing his people which he was very zealous to carry on successfully as you may see by the Epistle before the short Catechism he recommended in the words he then printed To all the Inhabitants of the Parish of Newington-Butts Grace and Peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ My dear Parishioners GOD is my witness how the Salvation of your never-dying Souls is desired by me If I could not have compassionated you as men and women drawing near to that Tribunal where you shall within these few days receive your final sentence either to everlasting Happiness or Torment I had never been so earnest and importunate with you in my Pulpit for your hearty entertainment of the Lord Jesus in a sincere obedience to his Laws and unfeigned love of his person and benefits as the only way to eternal life And if the same love and tenderness had not continued in me I would never have ventured upon this toylsome laborious work of sending for you family by family to instruct you in the knowledg of that Jesus Christ through whom only you expect to find salvation If God shall be pleased to make you as willing a people to learn as he hath made me willing to spend and be spent in this service of teaching you I shall have cause to praise him to my dying day The God and Father of our Lord Jesus perswade your heart to receive his teachings of you in your Ministers that you may not shut the knowledg of himself in the Gospel out of your doors which will prove of more sad and dreadful consequence to your Souls than you imagine Amen So prays one that unfeignedly loves you and that is willing to sacrifice health strength ease and all I have in the service of your Souls Thomas Wadsworth AT the end of the Catechism he adjoyn'd an Admonition I have here presented you but with a few things to commend to your memories but if through age or other weaknesses some of you cannot get this little without book let me desire you to perfect your selves in the Creed the Lords Prayer and the Ten Commandments But however if you are Parents or Masters and Mistresses of families let me entreat you to command your Children and Servants to get the rest and to hear them say it once or twice a week you may make it part of your Lords-days work and adjoyn it to your Praying Reading or Repetition of what you heard when you come home Having laboured much in this and other ways with great success to reduce the Inhabitants of that great Parish from their disorderly living to the obedience of the Gospel After a profession of their faith Printed singly after the example of the Ministers in the Worcester-shire Association he engag'd those instructed who were willing to joyn in all Ordinances to signifie in these words I do consent to be a member of the particular Church of Christ at Newington-Butts whereof Thomas Wadsworth is Teacher and Overseer and to submit to his Teaching and Ministerial guidance and oversight according to Gods word and to hold communion with that Church in the publick worshipping of God and to submit to the brotherly admonition of fellow-members that so we may be built up in knowledg and holiness and may the better maintain our obedience to Christ and the welfare of this society and hereby may the more please and glorifie God XLI You see what pains and cost he was at for the good of the Souls under his Charge at Newington where you had before from his Hearers in Mr. Baxters Preface to his Two last Sermons a more particular account of his most exemplary and unwearied industry in his Ministerial-office And then on the Lords day in his own family when his great work was over in the publick Congregation he us'd to have Sermons repeated and he himself prayed and Sung Psalms with them yea and being well instructed of his Lord and Master who knew how to speak a word in season to him that is weary and remembring the Apostles charge for Preaching the Word 2 Tim. 4.2 to be instant in season and out of season reprove rebuke exhort with all long-suffering and doctrine He did in a time of an extraordinary long Frost when poor Watermen were sorely put to it for a subsistence set up an Expository-Lecture for four or five mornings in a week at least two months together When it pleased God to manifest his special presence with him in this seasonable work for it prov'd the means of turning several from their evil ways unto God and some who had liv'd loosely before can to this day with humility and thankfulness testifie that a work of grace was then wrought upon them So that they were seals to his Ministry and to that truth of the Wisemans Prov. 25.11 A word fitly spoken or seasonably on the wheels is like Apples of gold in Pictures of silver This was extraordinary but the other was his course whiles he continued at Newington which was till Mr. James Meggs who vouch'd himself to be Legal Rector of it forc'd him to resign that Benefice to him in August 12. Carol. 2di and put an end to all Suits only he yielded that Mr. Wadsworth should Preach there till Septemb. 29. next ensuing Though Mr. Meggs sometime before his death could not but acknowledge that however he had given Mr. Wadsworth trouble he had not before that real and legal title to Newington he had made the world believe he had But our Practical Divine had learn'd to suffer rather than to do any wrong XLII However the great God who had made much use of this choice instrument in his work would not let him as yet lye by useless For after he was remov'd from Newington by no fair dealing as before of him that succeeded besides his Lecture on Saturday mornings at S. Antholins yea and for some time likewise there at five of the Clock in the evening of the Lords days and for a Winter or two on Monday nights at Margrets Fish-street-Hill London where by the concourse of Auditors 't was evident his labours were much valued though he had low thoughts of the apprehension of men He was by the Parishioners in whose power the presentation or nomination then was chosen to be Minister of Laurence Poultney where he continued and being then a Widower and removing from the House of his intimate friend Mr. Sedgwick then marrying liv'd in the family of his worthy friend Mr. Robert de Lunà Merchant till the frowning Bartholomew 1662. when he was ejected thence and out of his Lectures as 2000 of his Brethren were elsewhere because they could not assent and consent
gods and all Their Goddesses he vanities dare call Some him deride but others what he said Take him an Oracle and 's word obey'd Among the people hence divisions came All do each others gods contend to shame Some cry for crutches for their gods of wood And say they 're neither wise nor just nor good Room in the hospital Oh let them come Your gods are blind lame senseless deaf and dumb What is Diana but a lump of Gold ' Way with her Shrines that ev'ry where are sold The Silver and the Copper-smiths did hear These upstart Hereticks with no small fear One 'mong the rest Demetrius by name Unto his brethren he in fury came A man of upright stature as I guess But five foot high I judg no more nor less Of a pale face and of a long stretcht nose Yet of a sprightful eye as I suppose The last activity th' other envy notes But the long snout one that on money dotes And if you 'l add the tufts of hair that lye About his lips of a deep carrot-die The end of 's whiskers sinically ' rose Up straight t' guard his promontorial nose His garments such that Greek-wise swept the ground With a muff-cap hanging on side his crown Thus with grave countenance as it was fit He fetcht a hum and then most gravely spit Nodding his head on one side then on t'other He thus began to speak unto each brother Genteels you know Ephesians were your Sires And that you had your breeding 'mong the fires Your sp'rits should be warm to see th' foundation Of your divine and noble occupation Race't to the ground do you not all well know If this Sect do encrease it will be so If that Diana men no Goddess take No man her shrine will buy which we do make That she a Goddess be is it not fit When we by her our wealth and substance get Did not our ancestors her e're adore Must she be chang'd for gods ne'r known before Doth not all Asia and the world allow That she be worshipt and before her bow That her rich Temple is it not much pity Should now at length be slighted by this City Now brave Ephesian Coppersmiths I call You such that you prevent your Goddess fall Shall this one fellow with his witless crown Be let to turn the great world upside down The only feeble argument that he Doth urge to us is that no Deity Is made by hands of man you see How he brings hither new Philosophy I am no Sophy yet an answer I Will give to this poor silly fallacy Diana is a Deity you know And mans hands made her tell me i' nt it so Ergo he lies But yet he further sings Can any make them that have made all things To this I answer him I never yet Studied the point But I will never let My Goddess and my trade go down together But right or wrong I do not much care whether That you are of the very self-same mind I hope this day by your warm zeal to find When this long speech he sweetly forth had stutter'd He paus'd then made a stop then no more utter'd These things thus spoken by Demetrius Great is Diana of brave Ephesus They all with one continued voice did shout Throw down their hammers so they all run out Tuck up their aprons and do shrug the shoulder Run from their Masters whither never told her Throwing their arms and moving legs apace All seem'd as if they were to run a race With red-coats blew-coats and add to them yellow The streets do swarm and each the other follow Some with fall'n stockings others with one shoo Yet all resolve the race to hobble through One up Diana shouted th' other cries Down with all Taxes and Monopolies A third with loud and fearful far-fetcht Oaths Cursed the Senators as th' publick foes A fourth steps out asking what all this meant 'T was said because a good mans cloak was rent Others more gravely would the cause unfold Telling demurely that two women scold Began the fray that first by words then blows They pull'd and tugg'd and nimbly in they close Down they both fell to whom a stander-by Said it was no such matter he did lye He would have told his story but the rout All on a sudden up the streets they scout Yelping and yawling what each thought the best Though all did strangely differ from the rest As they were running 't happen'd that a Lad In a black shirt and a long apron clad I guest him Prentice to some Coppersmith In galloping his legs being tangled with His longer apron which did hang before him Tript up his heels another straight fell o're him A third o're him and so in heaps they lay All chang'd their notes to cry Oh stay stay stay My arm my leg another Oh my thigh You are too heavy on my back that lie Oh where 's my shoo 's you-sir have torn my shirt Another You-sir 't was that did me hurt Oh where 's my cap look there in kennel 't is Oh that 's not mine but that Fur'd cap is his As they got up one crys unto the other I prithee take thy knife and scrape me brother One toting fellow street-yarn oft that reels Came crawling out with breeches 'bout his heels When the rest saw that pitiful disaster They held their sides and fell to a loud laughter This stopt the rout a while in their swift race But up they get away they run apace Now up their throats they raise and do begin Agen to fill the City with a din. For two hours time this mad rout thus did hold Till that the Town-Clark came and it controul'd Telling Demetrius and the rest that they To right all wrongs by justice had their way And that their foul fault to such height did mount Of which he 's sure they could give no account So he dismist them and they went their way Most knowing not for what they met that day The FLINT THey say my soul 's a Flint My thoughts are sparks of reason Which her small cells do stint Unto an atoms prison They say this fire 's divine That from this flint doth flow Which will our eyes refine And God and nature show This most mysterious flame I did desire to know I to this flint straight came To see if it were so For heat I grope't about The Prison-walls felt cold Then I began to doubt The truth of what was told At length I did begin Their gates with strokes to shake I found then fire within For th' prison-doors I brake I struck agen and place't My breast the tinder-box Under which soon embrace't The fire that fell with knocks The candle of the Lord I then took up to light Which flame it did afford That it did burn out bright On this pure stream of flame Mine eye row'd to and fro And at the length I came Of fuel within to know Within my breast I found Loves taper without