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A58989 The Second part of Merry drollery, or, A Collection of jovial poems, merry songs, witty drolleries, intermix'd with pleasant catches collected by W.N., C.B., R.S., J.G., lovers of wit. W. N. 1661 (1661) Wing S2295; ESTC R37360 61,415 164

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THE Second Part OF MERRY DROLLERY OR A COLLECTION Of Jovial Poems Merry Songs Witty Drolleries Intermix'd with Pleasant CATCHES Collected by W.N. C.B. R.S. J.G. Lovers of Wit LONDON Printed by J.W. for P.H. and are to be sold at the New Exchange Westminster Hall Fleetstreet and Pauls Church-Yard To the Reader Courteous Reader WE do here present thee with the Second part of Merry Drollery not doubting but it will find good Reception with the more Ingenious the deficiency of this shall be supplied in a third when time shall serve In the mean time Farewel The Second Part of Merry Drollery The indifferent Lover NO man Love's fiery Passions can approve As either yielding pleasure or promotion I like a mild and lukewarm zeal in love Although I do not like it in devotion For it hath no coherence with my Creed To think that Lovers mean as they pretend If all that said they died had died indeed Sure long e e this the World had had an end Some one perhaps of long Consumption dried And after falling into love might dye But I dare swear he never yet had died Had he been half so sound at heart as I. Another rather than incur the slander Of true Apostate will false Martyr prove I 'll neither Orpheus be nor yet Leander I 'll neither hang nor drown my self for love Yet I have been a Lover by report And I have died for Love as others do Prais'd be Great Jove I died in such a sort As I revived within an hour or two Thus have I liv'd thus have I lov'd till now And ne'r had reason to repent me yet And whosoever otherwise shall do His courage is as little as his wit Loves Torment VVHen blind God Cupid all in an angry mood And Cythera the fairest Queen of Love Did leave Sylvanus pleasant shadowed woods And mounted up into the Heavens above Even then when Sol Even then when Sol In water set his bed Did seek to hide Did seek to hide His golden shining head Like Philomel all in a doleful wise I pass the silent-coloured night in woe No rest nor sleep can seize upon my eyes Oh cruel beauty that did torment me so No one can tell No one can tell How I in sorrows dwelt Save only she Save only she That hath like Passions felt The night is past all and Aurora red Begins to shew her ruby-coloured face Leaving old Tytan and his aged head The cloudy darkness from the skies to chase Ah my poor heart Ah my poor heart In flames of fire doth fry I live in love I love and live I live and yet I dye Each pretty little bird injoys his Mate And gently billing sits upon a Tree And on the verdant shadowed woods do prate Chirping their Notes with pleasant harmony I wish my Love I wish my Love My pretty bird may be To ease my grief To ease my grief And cure my malady The Rebell Red-coat COme Drawer come fill us about more wine Let us merrily tipple the day is our own We 'll have our delights let the country go pine Let the King and the Kingdom groan For the day is our own and so shall continue Whilst Monarchy we baffle quite We 'll spend all the Kingdoms Revenue And sacrifice all to delight 'T is power that brings us all to be kings And we 'll be all crowned by our might A fig for Divinity Lecture and Law And all that to Royalty do pretend We will by our Swords keep the Kingdoms in aw And our power shall never have end The Church and the State we 'll turn into liquor And spend a whole town in a day We 'll melt all their Bodkins the quicker Into Sack and so drink them away We 'll spend the demeans o' th Bishops and Deans And over the Presbyter sway The nimble St. Patrick is sunk in a bog And his Country-men sadly cry Oh hone Oh hone St. Andrew and 's Kirk-men are lost in a fog And we are the Saints alone Thus on our superiours and equals we trample Whilst Jockey the stirrop shall hold The Citie 's our Mule for example While we thus in plenty are roll'd Each delicate Dish shall but answer our wish And our drink shall be cordial Gold Love lies a bleeding In Imitation of Law lies a bleeding LAy by your pleading Love lies a bleeding Burn all your Poetry and throw away your reading Piety is painted And Truth is tainted Love is a reprobate and Schism now is sainted The Throne Love doth sit on We dayly do spit on It was not thus I wis when Betty rul'd in Britain But friendship hath faultred Loves Altars are altered And he that is the cause I would his neck were haltred When Love did nourish England did flourish Till holy hate came in and made us all so currish Now every Widgeon Talks of Religion And doth as little good as Mahomet and his Pidgeon Each Coxcombe is suiting His words for confuting But heaven is sooner gain'd by suffering than by disputing True friendship we smother And strike at our Brother Apostles never went to God by killing one another Let Love but warm ye Nothing can harm ye When Love is General there 's Angels in the Army Love keeps his quarters And fears no tortures The bravest fights are written in the Book of Martyrs Could we be so civill As to do good for evill It were the only happy way to o'rcome the devil The Flowers Love hath watred Sedition hath scattred We talk with tongues of holiness but act with hearts of hatred He that doth know me And love will shew me Hath found the nearest noble way to overcome me He that hath bound me And then doth wound me Wins not my heart doth not conquer but confound me In such a condition Love is the physitian True Love and Reason makes the purest politician But strife and confusion Deceit and delusion Though it seem to thrive at first will make a sad conclusion Love is a fewel A pretious Jewel 'T is Love must stanch the blood when Fury fights the duel Love is a loadstone Hate is a bloodstone Heaven is the North Point and Love is the Loadstone Though fury and scorn Loves Temples have torn He 'll keep his Covenant and will not be forsworn His Laws do not border On strife and disorder He scornes to get his wealth by perjury and murder What falshood drew in Grace never grew in Love will not raise himself upon anothers ruine He can present ye With peace and plenty Love never advanceth one by throwing down of twenty Where Love is in season There Truth is and Reason The soul of Love is never underlaid with Treason He never doth quarrel For princely apparel Nor ever fixed a chair of state upon a barrel Love from the dull pit Of Follies full pit Never took an Anvil out and put it in a pulpit Love is no sinker Truth is no slinker In mending breaches Love did never play the tinker
But that she 's a devilish backbiter With Souldiers she 's often comraded And often does them much good She 'l save them the charge of a Surgeon In sickness for letting them blood Corruption she draws like a horse-leech Growing she 'll prove a great breeder At night she will creep in her cottage By day she 's a damnable feeder She 'l venture as much in a battel As any Commander may go But then she 'l play Jack on both sides She cares not a fart for her Foe She knows that alwaies she 's shot-free To kill her no sword will prevaile But if she 's taken prisoner She 's prest to death by the naile She doth not esteem of your rich men But alwaies sticks close to the poor Nor she cares not for your clean shifters Nor for such as brave cloaths wear She loves all such as are non-suited Or any brave fellow that lacks She 's as true a friend to poor Souldiers As the shirt that sticks close to their backs She cannot abide your clean Laundress Nor those that do set her on work Her delight is all in foul linnen Where in narraw seams she may lurk From her and her breed God defend me For I have had their company store Pray take her among you Gentry Let her trouble poor souldiers no more The Concealment I Loved a maid she loved not me But that was a maids infirmity She wore her Garter above her knee But that was a secret bravery I plaid with her paps she gave me some raps But what did you else beside Nay that were a folly the Fox is unholy And yet he hath grace to hide Her feet were little her fingers small Her hips did wear no Farthingal Her body streight her belly round The whale-bone use there was not found I hall'd her I pull'd her I kiss'd her I cull'd her But what did you c. I wrung her hands she wrung mine again God bless such wringing as breeds no pain I look'd on her face and I gave her dance She dimmed my sight with a coloured glance I hung on her neck she gave me a check But what did you c. When each man had danced with his maid Then down behind a tree we staid My knees against her knees I thrust She cry'd sweet heart let be and blusht But yet at the last I grasped her fast But what did you c. Behind my ear I wear her lock And she my favour next her smock She loves me more if more you mark Since last we tumbled in the dark She was so kind-hearted she wept when we parted But what did you c. But by this kissing and this feeling These gentle foes were soon brought to yielding It cost me more in sope and candle Than all the Gold that e'r I did handle Though I deny'd it she could well hide it But what did you else beside Nay that were a folly the Fox is unholy And yet he hath craft to hide A Catch VVHat Fortune had I poor Maid as I am To be bound in eternal vow For ever to lye by the side of a man That would but knows not how Oh can there no pity Be in such a City Where Lads enough are to be had Unfortunate Girl that art wed to such woe Go seek thee a lively Lad And let the poor that hath nothing to shew Go seek for another as bad Then call for no pity Thou dwelt in a City Where Lads enough were to be had Advice to Batchelors HE that intends to take a Wife I 'll tell him what a kind of life He must be sure to lead If she 's a young and tender heart Not documented in Loves Art Much teaching she will need For where there is no path one may Be tir'd before he find the way Nay when he 's at his treasure The gap perhaps will prove so straight That he for entrance long may wait And make a toyl of 's pleasure Or if one old and past her doing He will the Chamber-maid be woing To buy her ware the cheaper But if he chuse one most formose Ripe for 't she 'l prove libidinous Argus himself sha'nt keep her For when those things are nearly drest They 'l entertain each wanton guest Nor for their honour care If any give their pride a fall Th'have learn'd a trick to bear withal So you their charges bear Or if you chance to play your game With a dull fat gross heavy Dame Your riches to encrease Alas she will but jeat you for 't Bid you to find out better sport Lie with a pot of grease If meager be thy delight She 'l conquer in venerial fight And waste thee to the bones Such kind of girles like to your Mill The more you give the more crave they will Or else they 'l grind the stones If black 't is ods she 's dev'lish proud If short Zantippe like too loud If long she 'l lazy be Foolish the Proverb saith if fair If wise and comely danger 's there Lest she do Cuckold thee If she bring store of money such Are like to domineer too much Prove Mistris no good wife And when they cannot keep you under They 'l fill the house with scolding thunder What worse than such a life But if her Dowry only be Beauty farewel felicity Thy fortunes castaway Thou must be sure to satisfie her In belly and in back-desire To labour night and day And rather than her pride give o'r She 'l turn perhaps an honoured whore And thou'lt Acteon'd be Whilst like Acteon thou maist weep To think thou sorced art to keep Such as devour thee If being noble thou dost wed A servile creature basely bred Thy Family it defaces If being mean one nobly born She 'l swear t' exalt a Courtlike horn Thy low descent it graces If one tongue be too much for any Then he who takes a wife with many Knows not what may betide him She whom he did for learning honour To scold by book will take upon her Rhetorically chide him If both her Parents living are To please them you must take great care Or spoyl your future fortune But if departed th' are this life You must be patent to your wife And father all be certain If bravely drest fair fac'd and witty She 'l oft be gadding to the City Nor may you say her nay She 'l tell you if you her deny Since women have Terms she knows not why But they still keep them may If you make choice of Country ware Of being Cuckold there 's less fear But stupid honesty May teach her how to sleep all night And take a great deal more delight To milk the Cows than thee Concoction makes their blood agree Too near where 's consanguinity Then let no kin be chosen He loseth one part of his treasure Who thus confineth all his pleasure To th' arms of a first Cozen. He 'll never have her at command Who takes a wife at second hand Then chuse no widdowed mother The first cut of that bit you love If others had why mayn't you prove But taster to another Besides if she bring children many 'T is like by thee she 'l not have any But prove a barren Doe Or if by them she ne'r had one By thee 't is likely she 'l have none Whilst thou for weak back go For there where other gard'ners have been sowing Their seed but ne'r could find it growing You must expect so too And where the Terra incognita S'o'rplow'd you must it fallow lay And still for weak back go Then trust not to a maiden face Nor confidence in widdows place Those weaker vessels may Spring-leak or split against a rock And when your Fame 's wrapt in a smock 'T is easily cast away Yet be she fair foul short or tall You for a time may love them all Call them your soul your life And one by one them undermine As Courtizan or Concubine But never as married wife He who considers this may end the strife Confess no trouble like unto a Wife A Catch IF any so wise is that Sack he despises Let him drink small beer and be sober Whilst we drink Sack and sing as if it were spring He shall droop like the Trees in October But be sure if over night this dog do you bite You take it henceforth for a warning Soon as out of your bed to settle your head Take a hair of his tail in the morning And be not so filly to follow old Lilly For there 's nothing but Sack that can tune us Let his Ne-assuescas be put in his cap case And sing bi-bi-to vinum Jejnnus A Mock Song VVHen I a Lady do intend to flatter Oh how I do begin to chatter I swear and vow How much I 'd do That I might once get at her I say to kiss her only is a Feast A Cupids Beaver at the least Whilst silly she Beleeveth me And thinks I love her best With those fair phansies which most comely are I oft her Ladiship compare I say the Rose And Lilly when it blowes Are nothing near so fair Yet gazing on her face I 've spent some hours Consulted with each cheek and all its powers But there none grow Unless below In pleasures garden-spring her flowers Oft have I call'd her Jewel oft have I Call'd true the false pearls of her eye Yet precious stone She will have none Untill with me she lie With what pure whiteness is her bosome blest Oft cry I yet I do but jest For sure I 'm still She never will Untill If her have a milk white breast Then tell her by the rowling of her eyes I guess her secret rarities Swear he who enjoyes Those pleasant toyes Ought much to esteem the prize Thus Ladies have I learn'd in Cupids schools My Master Ovid's Grammer Rules Thus can I prove I am in love And thus I make ye fools FINIS