off by sunne-set will not fit him down or lay himself to sleep but get on horse-backe and be riding onward on his way and he that hopes to liue long will not starue himselfe but vse the best diet for preseruing his life 4. It makes me fit my selfe by holinesse for that which I hope for namely the full fruition of the glorious ous presence of the perfectly-pure and holy God in heauen according to that of the Apostle Å¿ 1 Ioh. 3.3 Euery one that hath this hope in him purifieth himselfe euen as God is pure not vnlike to one who hoping to get accesse into the presence of the King with his petition doth addresse himselfe in all sutabe manner both in apparell behauiour and speech for the presence of his Soueraigne Min. It appeares your hope is found and good euen that t Rom. 5.4 which maketh not ashamed and the God of hope fill you therewith and grant that you may abound therein through the Holy Ghost But by what other signe doe you know that you shall bee saued Con. I finde in my heart a true loue of God now I haue learned out of the word that the Lord hath promised the crowne of life to them that loue him c. I make no question but hee will bee as good as his word who neuer failed therein since the world began therefore I know that the crowne of life is mine Min. All say they loue God and professe great friendship to him neuerthelesse most flatter him with their mouth and lye vnto him with their tongues for their heart is not right with him How know you then that you loue him in truth Con. 7. Notes of true loue of God Whereas there are three things in loue affection to the thing beloued a desire of coniunction with it and a well-pleasing contentment taken in the enioying of it all these I find in some measure in mee toward my God so that I know I loue him truly which I further proue by these notes First because I prize and estimate him aboue all worldly things yea mine owne life so that I can truely say with that blessed Martyr Ignatius Eus l. 2. c. 36. I esteeme no visible thing nor yet inuisible so that I may haue Christ u Phil. 3.8 yea doubtlesse I count all things but losse in comparison of him and do count them but dung that I may winne him Neither is this a mercenarie loue hired with the wages of reward for though there were no heauen O Lord I would loue thee but seeing there is a heauen I will account of it and labour to obtaine it yet still will I loue thee for thy goodnesse sake O Lord for thou thy selfe art reward enough though there were no more Secondly I am carefull and vnfainedly desirous to please the Lord in all things euen as we see that men are loth to crosse or displease those whom they entirely loue and affect Heerupon I giue my selfe to loue that which hee loueth and to hate that which he hateth * Ps 45.7 He loueth righteousnes and hateth wickednes and so doe I though not in equality for that is impossible yet in similitude and conformity for it is required and expected as the Prophet saith * Ps 9.10 They that loue the Lord hate euill thus I endeuour my selfe y 1 Ioh. 4.17 as God is euen so to bee in this worldr Thirdly a man may knowe his loue to any thing by the zeale and heat of affection whereby he is carried to that thing which hee loueth Thus euery man is transported and as it were eaten vp with one zeale or other some with the zeale of pleasure as Esau was who for a messe of pottage sould his birth-right some with the zeale of honour as Absalom was who for to gette a kingdome sought to draw bloud of his owne father some with the zeale of money as Iudas was who for his thirty peeces sold his Lord Sauiour By my zeale I know my loue to God for tho I bee not eaten vp with zeale as z Ps 69 9. Dauid was oh I would I were so too yet I feele it burning within mee as a Ier. 20.9 Ieremiah did my heart is hot within me and the fire kindled my zeale carrieth mee to God Fourthly I loue his b Ps 119.97 Qui diligit legem diligit regem word and sacraments prayer and all other holy exercises whereby as I haue gracious intercourse and heauenly conference with the blessed Trinity so in especiall with Christ my wel-beloued who therin causeth mee to heare his sweet voyce and to see his louely countenance for which cause I also loue the house of God so that I can no lesse heartily than merrily sing the note of the Prophet Dauid O Lord I haue loued the habitation of thine house and the place where thine honour dwelleth and another of the same O Lord of Hostes how amiable are thy tabernacles my soule longeth yea euen fainteth for the Courts of the Lord my heart and my flesh cryeth out for the liuing GOD. Fiftly I loue his c Mat. 10.40 messengers and embassadors the Preachers of his word which are sent vnto mee from God to treat about conclusions of peace beseeching mee in Christs stead to bee reconciled to God O how beautifull are the feete of him that bringeth these good tidings that publisheth peace that bringeth good tidings of good that publisheth saluation to me Sixtly I long for the comming of Christ not as though I could no longer beare for impatiencie the miseries of this life which are but light in comparison of the weight of glory but that I might bee married for euer vnto Christ my Loue in perfect ioy and harts delight being now but espoused onely to him and that I might be perfectly freed from all sinne whereby I grieue both him and my selfe and alwaies praise his name in heauen How long Lord how long thou hast d Re. 22.20 said Surely I come quickly Amen Euen so come Lord Iesus Min. Thus it appears that the loue of God will warrant a man as it doth you no les than heauen but what say you now of loue to Gods people may not that bee ranked among the euidences of your saluation Conuert Yes without doubt For The tenth signe of saluation taken out of 1 Ioh 3.14 heereby we know saith S. Iohn that he haue passed from death vnto life because we loue the brethren these doe I loue that is the children of God and such as are godly and these will I loue for euer knowing that loue is such a debt as I shall be alwaies owing and yet I must and will bee euer paying I will striue to be rather a creditour than a debtor heerin and will not only returne to the Saints of God the loue of loue the same measure that I receiue from them but euen vsury and aduantage of loue and I would to God there
truely sanctified Con. If I could not shew a difference between my selfe and such vncleane beasts Proofe of sanctification by the parts thereof I should bee sorry thus then I prooue the Truth of my sanctification whereas it consists in two things namely mortification quickening I haue some proofe of both for the first o Rom. 8.13 I mortifie the deeds of the flesh by the spirit wherein I imitate the skilfull Chirurgion Mortification who being to cut off some incureable member first mortifieth it that so it beeing made insensible may be cut off more easily and with lesse paine to the patient And this course I take in mortifying my sinnes First I labour by searching to finde them out Secondly to finde my selfe weary of them and willing to be rid of them considering what infinite hurt they doe mee Thirdly I fetch power from the death of Christ beleeuing that he died to p 1 Iohn 3.5.8 kill sinne in all that are his and therefore that it is impossible for them to liue vnto sinne or sinne to rule in them 4. * The death of Christ as a salue applied to the sore by faith leaueth a print like it selfe in the soul a spirituall death or dying vnto sinne I apply this power of Christs death as a strong corrasiue to this proud flesh of mine to the wounding and killing of the sinne that is in mee and thus I apply it 1. Seeing that my sinnes put Christ to death I am resolued as the auenger of bloud to follow the law vpon them to get a scriptum est a Writ for them to doe by them as they did by him euen to pursue them vnto death which put my elder brother and Sauiour vnto death Secondly seeing I beleeue that Christ died for mee to kill sinne in me I see I neither must nor can q Rom. 6.2.6 suffer sinne to liue and raigne in me for fhat were to make the death of Christ of none effect vnto mee Thus then though sinne bee in mee yet it hath receiued the deadly wound by the death of Christ neuer after to recouer againe but lyes as r 2 Sam. 1.6.9 Saul thrust thorow with his speare though life bee still abiding in it it is gasping and strugling languishing and dying and shall at last bee vtterly extinct in death ſ Ro. 7.25 I thanke God therefore through Iesus Christ our Lord. Min. You haue spoken to some good purpose of mortification but what say you now of quickning which is the second part of Sanctification Con. They which haue the one Quickning can not want the other therefore I finde also a quickning power of grace in mee whereby I rise vp out of the graue of sinne and liue vnto righteousnesse and that after this manner 1 I. labour by inquiring to find out that righteousnesse which God requireth of mee 2. I striue for a willingnesse of minde heart to set thereupon with all delight which that I may do 3. I fetch power from Christs resurrection considering and beleeuing that he reviued and rose againe for this very end namely to procure and giue to all that are his strength and power to t Rom 6.4 liue vnto righteousnes and therefore that it is as impossible for any such to want this power as for Christ to die in vaine 4. I apply this power to my selfe whereby the breath of spirituall life comes into my soule and that after this maner * To belieu that Christ rose for mee is to apply his resurrection as a soueraign plaister to my heart which is of such a vertue that it must needs worke in me his spirituall resurrectiō Seeing I beleeue that Christ rose for mee as verily as he is my Sauiour so verily must I and shall I shew forth this spirituall power in the practice of piety and righteous liuing Thus then there is a spirituall passion and resurrction in mee as there is in euery true beleeuer answerable to to the passion and resurrection of Christ as he died for sin and rose againe for righteousnesse so I die to sinne and rise againe to righteousnes in all the powers of my soule and parts of my body these being made the u Rom. 6.13 instruments of those in righteousnesse vnto God And this briefly is that sanctification which I finde in me Min. And surely this is that which whosoeuer finde in them they are no lesse than canonized in the Court of Heauen for Saints and irreuocably registred in Gods Calendar of Saints But what will you name in the next place for a signe of your saluation Con. Repentance which howsoeuer it doth not * Non re sed ratione Polanus really differ from Sanctification yet in some respect as “ Perkins some haue well obserued it doth as being subordinate thereto and proceeding there-from as the fruit thereof for where the Lord infuseth sanctifying grace into the vnderstanding will and affections of the Conuert then according vnto this grace receiued he worketh in turning to the Lord and though repentance bee discerned before eyther Faith or Sanctification yet that hinders not but that they are before it in * Ordinae natura order of nature like as in the morning the light and sunne-beames are seene before the bodie of the Sunne and yet in order of nature it is before them and they proceed from it But to come neerer the matter I repent me of my sinnes for I turne from all sinne to God in heart and desire and labour to expresse the same The sixt signe of saluation taken out of Eze. 18.21 by a carefull framing of my life in obedience to God eschewing euill and doing good hauing respect vnto all Gods commandements Now God hath promised that hee which thus turneth from all his sins shall surely liue for euer and shall not dye eternally therefore hereby I know I shall bee saued for this is a salue for all sores and a present remedie to cure all spirituall diseases of the soule Min. All the doubt will be whether you doe truely repent how can you make that appeare Con. 5 Notes of true repentance Thus First because I grieue in my heart for my sinnes chiefly in regard that thereby I offend my good * Ps 51.4 God who alwaies hath been and is abundantly gracious vnto mee this pierceth my soule that I should bee so vndutifull toward him Secondly I x Psa 119.104 hate loath and detest in some measure all sin in my heart bearing my selfe toward it as an enemie and when I haue beene ouercome by the deceit thereof I loue it not the better but hate it much the more afterward when I haue recouered my selfe againe I deale with my sinne as Amnon dealt with his sister Thamer who when he had satisfied his wicked lust did hate her more than euer hee had loued her before and thrust hir out of his company and presence as not abiding the
were as many paied vse for loue as doe in these dayes pay vse for money Then should they be no whit impouerished lesse in the vsurers books more in Gods and so would it be a better world Min. Whereas you say you loue the godly it may be that is onely because they are friendly to you or because you receiue or hope to receiue some outward kindnes and benefit from some such if your loue be no other than this it is but selfe-loue beeing grounded meerely vpon your owne priuate commoditie and this kinde of loue may bee found in an vnregenerate and carnall man Con. It is not so with me for though happily I may regard some such for some such respects as you name yet if I should not loue the child of God for his own sake and for his and my fathers sake more than I loue my worldly friend for my cōmodities sake or my kinsman for neerenesse of bloud I should bee void of any sparke of true heauenly loue therfore I chiefly loue the godly for their goodnes and godlinesse sake the ground of my loue vnto them is the image of god in them This is that diuine load-stone which drawes my affection toward them Minist How can you make it appeare that you loue them with a right affection Con. Thus 1. because I loue some such in the * In abstracto abstract euen when they are seuered and separate from all externall respects and grounds of loue to mee-ward as 4 Notes of true loue to Gods children when I heare or reade of the zeale piety constancy heauenly vertues and gracious endeauours of the worthy seruants of God such as I neuer knew nor had any dealing with yet I finde that I loue them and feele the affection of my heart spreading it selfe towards them to embrace them which cannot be for carnal respects nor worldly hopes for it may bee some of them are dead and gone and thus I loue the Saints departed which are now in heau'n sometimes also I haue knowne and loued some worthy Christians who then haue flowed with worldly prosperity but after haue fallen to a very low ebbe of great aduersity when the world hath bidde them adieu friends wealth goods haue altogether taken their leaues yet then haue I loued them as dearely as euer I did before whereby it appeared that my loue was not grounded vpon worldly regards which all forsooke them but vpon their goodnes and godlines which still continued with them Secondly I much affect the godly and delight exceedingly in their cōpanie yea of such as are nothing of kin vnto mee that e Ro. 1.12 wee may bee edified through our mutual faith whereas I care not for the company of others wanting true godlinesse though they may be perhappes of my very neere kindred So that I can truely say f Psa 16.3 As for the Saints that are in the earth and the excellent in them is all my delight but as for others I haue hated the assembly of euill doers and will not sit with the wicked and if of necessitie I bee forced to bee in their company then am I readie to wish with the Prophet O that I had wings lik a Doue then would I flie away and be at rest or if this ô will not set mee at libertie then I take vp woe to expresse my misery Woe is me that I soiourne in Mesech that I dwell in the tents of Kedar 3. I haue a fellow-feeling of the miseries of the Saints my deare Christian brethren and sisters which works in mee compassion and makes my heart euen ake and bowels yearn within me to see their grief and behold them in necessitie Whereby I perceiue that I haue the true affection of a fellow-member for if one member suffer all the members suffer with it Fourthly I finde in mee a willingnesse in some measure to impart my selfe vnto them in life and goods soule and bodie so far as I canne to affoord them helpe and succour for as it is truely said of faith that * Fides toto copulatiua it is wholly copulatiue wholly employed in coupling vs to Christ so may it as truly bee said of loue that it is * Charitas communicatius wholly communicate imployed in imparting it selfe and what it hath to others for their good Faith is as the leads and pipes to bring in and loue is as the cock of the conduit to let out Now for as much as my loue is thus communicatiue to the children of God because they are his children heereby I also see that it is of the right kinde Min. Alledge some other sure signe of your saluation For the more the better man the richer you are in the true treasure the more comfort may you haue thereby Con. The Lord hath promised to fulfill the desire of them that feare him The eleuenth sign of saluatiō taken out of Psal 145.19 that he wil heare their cry and will saue them Now I finde in some measure in mee the true feare of God and though I say not of my selfe as the Scripture saith of Obadiah that g 1 Kings 18.3 hee feared God greatly yet this I can say that I desire to feare God greatly and this I dare say in despight of the diuell that I feare GOD truely Therefore I shall be saued certainly according to Gods holy word of truth Min. St. IOHN telles vs that there is no feare in loue but that perfect loue casteth out feare Seeing then you loue God how can you bee said to feare him how can these two stand peaceably together Con. Very well for there is a two-fold feare of God the first is a slauish and seruile feare in horrour to dread his maiestie as a seuere reuenging Iudge eyther executing his iudgements or readie to take vengeance on his enemies Thus all impenitent persons and the Diuels feare him and onely thus and therefore hate him wishing there were no God And this is the meaning of Saint Iames when hee saith h Iam. 2.19 The Diuels beleeue and tremble The second is a childe-like feare in awefull reuerence and loue toward God to be carefull not to offend him now this feare is the true naturall birth of loue being bred and brought forth of it Looke then as Sarah cast out Ismael the seed of the bond-woman but would not cast out her owne deare sonne Isaac euen so the loue of GOD doth cast out of mee by degrees the seed of bondage the slauish feare but not her owne birth the awefull and holy feare of God but cherisheth and nourisheth this continually in mee and is as a nurse vnto it so that now I feare not so much that God will condemne me as that I may not offend him so good so louing a father to mee euen as a good ingenious childe feares to offend his father for very loue but feares not that his father will cut his throat or murder
shall bee saued by Christ for that perswasion which followes sound humiliation is faith that which goes before is presumption Therefore I may well be out of feare that my beleeuing is presuming nay I can not doe amisse in being perswaded that I shall bee saued I can not bee forward enough herein but this belongs not at all to them that were neuer troubled in minde nor wounded in conscience for the greatnesse of their sinnes the dread of hell and horrible wrath of God due to them for their sinnes for they indeed presume Min. I like and approue well of this that you say but let me heare if there bee any further matter which causeth doubting in you Con. Euill thoughts Doubting because of euill thoughts answered and cogitations are no small dauntment to me for neuer was the land of Aegypt more pestered with noysome vermine than I am with foule filthy impious yea sometimes blasphemous thoughts against the holy maiesty of God they come vpon me thicke and three-fold I can at no time in no place be quiet for them yea when I am in the presence of God speaking vnto him by prayer or he speaking to mee by his word or when I am about any other holy duty euen then they come crowding in vpon me I wonder somtimes with my selfe how or which way they should so creepe in to amaze and astonie me and withall to choke and interrupt the holy businesse I haue in hand the vglinesse of these euill thoughts works horror and quaking in my heart and makes mee thinke my selfe no better than a firebrand of hell and that I might do well O Lord forgiue that horrible and murdering thought to make away my selfe Min. This seemes to bee as strong a Diuell as any that driues you thus neere the gates of death I had almost said of hell how doe you to recouer strength and to get the victory ouer him Con. Strong hee is indeed but o 1 Ioh. 4.4 greater is hee that is in vs than hee that is in the world First therefore I consider that I do not loue like and approue of these euill thoughts wherewith I am so combred nay I abhor them as the Diuell himself by whom they are hatched insomuch as they make mee euen weary of my selfe because of the stinking breath thereof continually steaming forth ready almost to choake my soule and when Sathan by these thoughts doth breake in violently vpon mee I doe not bid him welcome and lay him as it were a cushen to take vp his seat in my minde and heart to haue residence in me by these so vile and horrible motions and cogitations but I deale by him and them as men doe by theeues that breake into their houses at vnawares they giue them no abode but hunt and driue them out againe so soone as euer they come within the threshold with all the speed power that they can and therefore the Lord will not account mee a friend vnto them much lesse the father of them I shall not beare their name much lesse the burden of them he will neuer lay them to my charge to answere for them Secondly I am resolued as long as I liue for so long I shall bee troubled with them to resist them with all my might And like as r Gen. 32.2 6. Iacob ceased not to wrestle though his thigh was bruised till hee had the blessing so neither will I till I haue got the victory Thirdly I know that the Lord will not be angry with mee for these euill thoughts which I consent not to nor take no pleasure in but hate for will a tender mother bee angry with the babe shee beares in her armes because some naughty people fling stones at it hurt it and make it cry nay will not rather her bowels vern to ward it will shee not rather hugge it closer to her stroake it kisse it and bemoane it but her anger is toward them that fling stones at it whereby they bruised and battered the face of it she could finde in her heart to flie in their face and to scratch out their eyes that did her childe that harme surely then the Lord will not bee offended with mee because my enemies Sathan and the flesh cast fiery darts at mee thereby wound mee for I cannot helpe it but his fierce indignation is against them for that they doe so molest me and he doth and will both pitie and helpe mee so much the more for q Psal 103 13. as a father pittieth his children so the Lord pittieth them that feare him and his affection toward his children is infinitely farre surpassing the affection of the tender heartedst mother in the world toward her dearest babe for though a mother could forget the childe of her wombe yet would not I forget you saith the Lord. Min. Yet a litle more I pray you let vs heare of Sathans deepe subtletie and hellish policie in labouring to defeat you of all true comfort here and of heauen it selfe heereafter Con. Doubting because of afflictions answered Sometimes hee would needs perswade mee and my owne heart withall is ouer-greedy I confesse to catch vp and swallow such poysoned morsels that I am none of Gods children and that the Lord doth not loue mee because I am kept so neere and bare and am so followed continually with afflictions I am hardly free at any time from one or other they are like Iobs messengers while one is speaking to me before he hath done his message fully there comes in another sicknes paines aches losses of friends goods good name outward crosses and calamities innumerable beside the inward affliction of the minde oh That the greatest of all for a wounded spirit who can beare a rare thing it is not to see mee vnder some one or other of these to keepe me downe whereas I see the wicked wallow in their wealth as they doe in their wickednesse and Esaus portion is r Gen. 27.39 the fatnesse of the earth they swim vp to the chin in riuers of oyle and wash their paths with butter Å¿ Iob. 21.24 15.27 their breasts are full of milke and their bones run full of marrow their faces are couered with fatnesse and they haue collops in their flanke yea t Ps 73.7 their eyes stand out for fatnesse and they haue more than heart can wish yea u Ps 119.70 their very heart is fat as grease they are so fat so lusty and strong that they kicke vp their heeles against their keeper and will not know their daily benefactor but contemne their master * Iob. 21.14 They say to God depart from vs for wee desire not the knowledge of thy wayes Beholde these are the vngodly who prosper in the world they increase in riches but as for mee poore wretch x Psal 73 14.12 all the day long haue I beene punished and chastened euery morning heereupon my feet were almost gone my steps had