into_o our_o heart_n 46.8_o isa_n 46.8_o and_o may_v there_o find_v he_o for_o he_o so_o withdraw_v himself_o as_o that_o here_o he_o be_v still_o he_o will_v not_o stay_v long_o with_o we_o and_o yet_o he_o have_v not_o leave_v we_o as_o also_o thither_o he_o depart_v whence_o he_o never_o part_v because_o the_o world_n be_v make_v by_o he_o and_o in_o this_o world_n he_o be_v and_o yet_o come_v into_o this_o world_n to_o save_v sinner_n to_o who_o my_o soul_n now_o also_o confess_v that_o he_o may_v heal_v it_o for_o it_o have_v sin_v o_o you_o son_n of_o man_n 4.4_o ps_n 4.4_o how_o long_o so_o heavy_a heart_a and_o be_v it_o possible_a after_o this_o descent_n of_o life_n itself_o to_o you_o that_o you_o will_v not_o ascend_v to_o it_o and_o live_v but_o whither_o ascend_v you_o then_o when_o you_o set_v up_o yourselves_o on_o high_a and_o turn_v your_o face_n against_o heaven_n first_o descend_v that_o so_o you_o may_v ascend_v and_o ascend_v to_o god_n who_o fall_v before_o by_o ascend_v against_o he_o these_o thing_n tell_v the_o soul_n thou_o love_v that_o they_o may_v deplore_v their_o misery_n in_o this_o valley_n of_o tear_n and_o be_v carry_v up_o with_o thou_o towards_o god_n for_o it_o be_v from_o his_o spirit_n also_o that_o thou_o tell_v they_o this_o if_o thou_o say_v it_o from_o a_o heart_n inflame_v with_o the_o fire_n of_o true_a charity_n chap._n xiii_o much_o exercise_v in_o love_n he_o write_v a_o book_n de_fw-fr pulchro_n &_o apto_fw-la these_o thing_n then_o i_o know_v not_o and_o i_o be_v enamour_v of_o these_o low_a beauty_n sink_v still_o deep_a in_o the_o pit_n and_o say_v to_o my_o friend_n love_v we_o any_o thing_n but_o what_o be_v fair_a what_o be_v that_o which_o be_v fair_a then_o and_o what_o be_v the_o fairness_n of_o it_o what_o be_v that_o inveigle_v we_o so_o and_o chain_n our_o affection_n to_o the_o thing_n we_o love_v for_o unless_o there_o be_v gracefulness_n and_o beauty_n there_o they_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n thus_o attract_v we_o and_o i_o mark_v narrow_o and_o perceive_v that_o in_o the_o body_n themselves_o the_o whole_a feature_n as_o it_o be_v of_o they_o be_v one_o thing_n from_o which_o they_o be_v call_v fair_a and_o another_o thing_n their_o decency_n and_o fitness_n namely_o as_o they_o be_v apt_o suit_v to_o some_o other_o thing_n as_o a_o part_n of_o the_o body_n be_v to_o the_o whole_a or_o a_o shoe_n to_o the_o foot_n and_o the_o like_a and_o these_o speculation_n spring_v still_o more_o in_o my_o mind_n from_o the_o multiplicity_n of_o thought_n i_o compose_v certain_a book_n de_fw-fr pulchro_fw-la &_o apto_fw-la of_o fair_a and_o fit_a as_o i_o remember_v two_o or_o three_o god_n thou_o know_v for_o i_o have_v forget_v for_o i_o have_v they_o not_o by_o i_o but_o they_o be_v straggle_v abroad_o i_o know_v not_o whither_o chap._n fourteen_o dedicate_v to_o hierius_n a_o roman_a rhetorician_n much_o admire_v by_o he_o only_o upon_o report_n but_o what_o be_v it_o that_o move_v i_o o_o lord_n my_o god_n to_o address_v these_o book_n to_o hierius_n a_o rhetorician_n in_o rome_n not_o know_v to_o i_o by_o face_n and_o yet_o love_v by_o i_o for_o the_o same_o of_o his_o learning_n which_o be_v very_o eminent_a and_o some_o speech_n of_o his_o likewise_o i_o have_v hear_v and_o they_o have_v please_v i_o but_o please_v i_o far_o the_o more_o because_o they_o please_v other_o who_o much_o admire_a and_o magnify_v the_o man_n that_o he_o a_o syrian_a by_o nation_n first_o train_v up_o in_o the_o grecian_a eloquence_n have_v become_v so_o admirable_a a_o master_n also_o in_o the_o latin_a and_o so_o know_v in_o philosophy_n a_o man_n be_v *_o praise_n and_o present_o upon_o it_o though_o never_o see_v *_o love_a enter_v this_o love_n then_o into_o the_o heart_n of_o the_o hearer_n from_o the_o mouth_n of_o the_o commender_n nothing_o so_o but_o from_o one_o lover_n another_o be_v incense_v to_o love_n for_o hence_o be_v he_o love_v that_o be_v commend_v when_o he_o that_o praise_v be_v suppose_v to_o extol_v he_o with_o a_o undissemble_a heart_n that_o be_v when_o one_o that_o love_v commend_n he_o for_o so_o i_o then_o love_v man_n according_a to_o the_o estimation_n of_o man_n and_o not_o thou_o o_o my_o god_n which_o be_v never_o deceive_v but_o yet_o why_o love_v i_o he_o not_o as_o i_o do_v some_o other_o a_o famous_a chariotier_n or_o huntsman_n etc._n etc._n that_o be_v much_o extol_v by_o popular_a applause_n but_o with_o a_o far_o different_a and_o more_o serious_a affection_n and_o so_o as_o myself_o also_o desire_v the_o same_o commendation_n for_o neither_o can_v i_o endure_v that_o myself_o shall_v be_v so_o commend_v or_o love_v as_o stage-player_n be_v who_o yet_o i_o both_o commend_v and_o love_v yet_o will_v i_o choose_v myself_o rather_o to_o be_v obscure_a than_o in_o such_o a_o manner_n note_v and_o even_o rather_o to_o be_v hate_v than_o in_o such_o a_o manner_n love_v where_o be_v the_o plummet_n that_o give_v motion_n to_o so_o many_o heterogeneous_a and_o divers_a love_n disposed-of_a in_o one_o soul_n what_o be_v it_o that_o i_o love_v in_o another_o man_n which_o same_o thing_n again_o unless_o i_o hate_v i_o shall_v not_o loathe_v it_o in_o myself_o and_o repel_v it_o from_o i_o though_o in_o a_o like_a condition_n both_o of_o we_o be_v man_n indeed_o a_o good_a horse_n be_v love_v by_o one_o who_o yet_o will_v not_o be_v the_o thing_n he_o love_v but_o we_o can_v say_v so_o of_o a_o actor_n communicate_v with_o we_o in_o nature_n can_v i_o then_o love_v in_o a_o man_n something_o i_o will_v not_o be_v though_o i_o be_o a_o man_n man_n himself_o be_v a_o great_a deep_a the_o very_a hair_n of_o who_o head_n be_v all_o number_v by_o thou_o o_o lord_n nor_o be_v any_o of_o they_o want_v unto_o thou_o and_o yet_o those_o hair_n can_v more_o easy_o be_v number_v than_o can_v his_o affection_n and_o the_o motion_n of_o his_o heart_n but_o this_o rhetorician_n be_v of_o those_o who_o i_o so_o love_v as_o that_o i_o wish_v also_o the_o like_a who_o stray_v thus_o 4.14_o ephes_n 4.14_o swell_v with_o ambition_n and_o whirl_v about_o wiâ—h_v every_o wind_n yet_o all_o the_o while_n be_v steer_v by_o thou_o though_o extreme_a secret_o and_o whence_o know_v i_o this_o and_o whence_o so_o confident_o confess_v i_o unto_o thou_o that_o i_o love_v he_o more_o from_o the_o love_n of_o those_o who_o commend_v he_o than_o from_o the_o thing_n for_o which_o he_o be_v commend_v from_o hence_o because_o have_v the_o same_o man_n disparage_v he_o to_o i_o and_o relate_v the_o same_o thing_n they_o commend_v in_o he_o with_o contempt_n and_o scorn_n i_o have_v not_o be_v so_o take_v with_o he_o yet_o certain_o those_o thing_n have_v neither_o be_v another_o man_n nor_o the_o man_n another_o from_o himself_o but_o only_o another_o the_o affection_n of_o the_o relater_n see_v in_o what_o a_o condition_n lie_v the_o feeble_a soul_n that_o be_v not_o yet_o fix_v upon_o the_o basis_n of_o truth_n as_o the_o unconstant_a gale_n of_o tongue_n blow_v from_o the_o breast_n of_o the_o opinative_a so_o be_v she_o carry_v and_o turn_v drive_v forward_o and_o drive_v back_o again_o and_o her_o eye_n be_v becloud_v and_o the_o truth_n not_o discern_v and_o yet_o behold_v it_o stand_v before_o we_o and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o a_o matter_n of_o great_a importance_n if_o my_o stile_n and_o my_o study_n may_v be_v know_v to_o such_o a_o man_n which_o if_o by_o he_o they_o be_v approve_v i_o shall_v have_v be_v still_o more_o inflame_v if_o dis-esteemed_n my_o heart_n have_v be_v grievous_o wound_v be_v altogether_o void_a and_o empty_a of_o thy_o solidity_n yet_o that_o pulchrum_n &_o aptum_fw-la of_o which_o i_o write_v to_o he_o be_v not_o conceive_v by_o i_o without_o much_o delight_n and_o the_o subtlety_n of_o those_o contemplation_n i_o myself_o admire_v before_o they_o have_v another_o to_o praise_v they_o chap._n xv._o his_o late_a imagination_n concern_v these_o thing_n be_v not_o yet_o enlighten_v by_o the_o scripture_n but_o the_o cause_n and_o hinge_n of_o such_o a_o weighty_a business_n i_o have_v not_o as_o yet_o study_v in_o that_o thy_o sacred_a science_n o_o thou_o omnipotent_a 136.4_o psal_n 136.4_o who_o alone_o work_v all_o these_o wonder_n and_o my_o mind_n range_v through_o corporeal_a form_n and_o fair_a i_o define_v and_o with_o corporeal_a instance_n illustrate_v *_o that_o which_o be_v so_o absolute_o of_o itself_o fit_a *_o that_o which_o be_v decent_a and_o graceful_a from_o application_n to_o another_o an_o i_o cast_v my_o thought_n also_o upon_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o mind_n and_o there_o the_o false_a opinion_n
reserve_v it_o as_o a_o sovereign_a remedy_n at_o last_o for_o cleanse_v they_o at_o once_o from_o all_o their_o forepart_a sin_n no_o christian_a profess_v nor_o baptize_v lest_o i_o shall_v stray_v in_o those_o common_a crooked_a byway_n in_o which_o other_o walk_v who_o turn_v not_o their_o face_n but_o back_o upon_o thou_o woe_n be_v i_o and_o dare_v i_o yet_o say_v that_o thou_o helde_v thy_o peace_n the_o while_o i_o wander_v thus_o still_o far_o from_o thou_o and_o who_o then_o but_o thou_o be_v that_o sweet_a counsel_n by_o my_o mother_n thy_o disciple_n which_o thou_o sung_a in_o my_o ear_n but_o nothing_o whereof_o descend_v into_o my_o heart_n to_o perform_v it_o for_o she_o request_v and_o in_o secret_a i_o remember_v with_o great_a solicitude_n admonish_v i_o to_o keep_v myself_o pure_a from_o woman_n especial_o from_o defile_v any_o one_o wife_n which_o seem_v to_o i_o but_o womanish_a advice_n and_o which_o man_n shall_v be_v ashamed_a to_o obey_v and_o it_o be_v thou_o and_o i_o know_v it_o not_o suppose_v thou_o to_o be_v silent_a and_o she_o to_o speak_v it_o who_o by_o she_o be_v not_o silent_a unto_o i_o and_o in_o she_o be_v also_o despise_v by_o i_o by_o i_o her_o son_n the_o son_n of_o thy_o handmaid_n 116.16_o psal_n 116.16_o and_o thy_o subject_n but_o i_o know_v it_o not_o and_o rush_v still_o headlong_o with_o so_o much_o precipitancy_n and_o blindness_n that_o among_o my_o equal_n i_o be_v ashamed_a of_o any_o less_o filthiness_n than_o what_o i_o hear_v they_o boast_v of_o and_o they_o boast_v every_o one_o so_o much_o more_o by_o how_o much_o more_o beastly_a they_o be_v and_o i_o rejoice_v to_o do_v the_o like_a as_o they_o do_v not_o only_o for_o the_o pleasure_n but_o praise_n of_o the_o fact_n what_o be_v there_o reproachful_a but_o only_a vice_n and_o i_o to_o avoid_v reproach_n still_o become_v more_o vicious_a and_o when_o there_o happen_v nothing_o by_o act_v whereof_o i_o may_v equal_v other_o guilt_n i_o feign_v i_o do_v what_o i_o do_v not_o lest_o i_o shall_v seem_v more_o contemptible_a by_o how_o much_o i_o be_v more_o innocent_a and_o lest_o i_o shall_v feem_v more_o vile_a by_o how_o much_o i_o be_v more_o chaste_a behold_v with_o what_o companion_n i_o travel_v in_o those_o street_n of_o babylon_n &_o wallow_v in_o the_o mire_n thereof_o as_o in_o a_o bed_n of_o spice_n and_o precious_a odour_n while_o the_o invisible_a enemy_n trample_v upon_o i_o and_o seduce_v i_o because_o i_o myself_o be_v prone_a also_o to_o be_v so_o seduce_v neither_o have_v that_o mother_n of_o my_o flesh_n already_o escape_v out_o of_o the_o midst_n of_o babylon_n but_o in_o the_o skirt_n thereof_o yet_o slow-paced_a though_o she_o have_v counsel_v i_o chastity_n so_o take_v care_n to_o restrain_v that_o lust_n which_o her_o husband_n have_v discover_v to_o she_o in_o i_o and_o which_o she_o know_v for_o the_o present_a so_o infectious_a and_o for_o the_o future_a so_o pernicious_a to_o i_o within_o the_o bound_n of_o a_o conjugal_a affection_n if_o it_o be_v find_v to_o be_v otherwise_o incurable_a she_o have_v not_o take_v due_a care_n of_o this_o because_o afraid_a lest_o all_o my_o hope_n shall_v be_v spoil_v by_o the_o fetter_n of_o a_o wife_n my_o hope_n not_o such_o a_o hope_n as_o my_o mother_n have_v in_o thou_o of_o the_o next_o happy_a world_n to_o come_v but_o the_o hope_n of_o my_o learning_n forsooth_o in_o which_o both_o my_o parent_n be_v too_o too_o desirous_a of_o my_o proficiency_n he_o because_o he_o think_v but_o little_a on_o thou_o and_o many_o vain_a thing_n of_o i_o she_o because_o she_o suppose_v those_o usual_a prosecution_n of_o science_n will_v be_v no_o hindrance_n but_o some_o help_n towards_o the_o knowledge_n of_o thou_o for_o such_o i_o conjecture_v be_v the_o inclination_n of_o my_o parent_n then_o also_o be_v the_o reins_o beyond_o all_o the_o temper_n of_o due_a severity_n let_v loose_a unto_o i_o of_o spend_v my_o time_n in_o idle_a sport_n and_o recreation_n to_o my_o grow_v still_o more_o dissolute_a in_o various_a lust_n and_o a_o mist_n in_o every_o thing_n be_v before_o my_o eye_n intercept_n from_o i_o o_o god_n the_o serenity_n of_o thy_o truth_n t._n ps_n 72.7_o vulg._n t._n and_o iniquity_n grow_v up_o in_o i_o as_o in_o a_o fertile_a soil_n chap._n iu._n of_o his_o theft_n *_o do_v only_o out_o of_o wantonness_n theft_n be_v a_o thing_n that_o be_v punish_v by_o thy_o law_n o_o lord_n and_o also_o by_o the_o law_n write_v in_o the_o heart_n of_o man_n which_o law_n wickedness_n itself_o never_o utter_o cancel_v in_o we_o for_o what_o thief_n do_v easy_o endure_v a_o thief_n or_o who_o in_o plenty_n endure_v another_o steal_n for_o necessity_n yet_o i_o also_o lust_v to_o steal_v and_o execute_v it_o not_o force_v thereto_o by_o want_n or_o need_v but_o out_o of_o a_o loathe_n of_o honesty_n and_o long_v to_o sin_n for_o i_o steal_v that_o of_o which_o i_o have_v myself_o great_a plenty_n and_o much_o better_a neither_o delight_v i_o in_o the_o fruition_n of_o the_o thing_n steal_v but_o only_o in_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o theft_n near_o a_o vineyard_n of_o we_o there_o be_v a_o tree_n well-loaden_a with_o apple_n not_o much_o tempt_a either_o sight_n or_o taste_v a_o company_n of_o wicked_a boy_n of_o we_o go_v late_o at_o night_n to_o rob_v it_o have_v till_o then_o according_a to_o a_o loose_a custom_n draw_v out_o our_o sport_n in_o the_o street_n and_o thence_o we_o carry_v great_a load_n not_o for_o our_o own_o eat_n but_o even_o to_o be_v cast_v to_o the_o hog_n after_o we_o have_v first_o only-tasted_n they_o and_o delight_v ourselves_o in_o the_o do_n of_o what_o we_o please_v not_o what_o we_o ought_v lo_o my_o heart_n o_o my_o god_n lo_o my_o heart_n whereof_o thou_o have_v pity_v in_o the_o bottom_n of_o this_o hell_n let_v it_o now_o tell_v thou_o what_o it_o be_v that_o it_o then_o affect_a even_o that_o i_o may_v be_v wicked_a gratis_o and_o have_v no_o provocation_n to_o ill_a but_o the_o evil_n itself_o i_o be_v enamour_v of_o this_o i_o only_o love_v to_o perish_v i_o love_v to_o be_v faulty_a not_o that_o thing_n in_o the_o which_o i_o be_v faulty_a but_o the_o very_a faultinesse_n i_o love_v unclean_a and_o filthy_a soul_n start_v from_o thy_o stable_a firmament_n towards_o all_o extreme_n not_o by_o disgrace_n prosecute_a something_a else_o but_o only_o the_o disgrace_n chap._n v._n and_o *_o void_a of_o excuse_n when_o as_o most_o sin_n pretend_v some_o good_a to_o the_o sinner_n there_o be_v a_o tempt_a appearance_n in_o all_o fair_a and_o glitter_a body_n in_o gold_n and_o in_o silver_n and_o the_o rest_n also_o in_o carnal_a touch_n there_o be_v a_o sympathy_n that_o transport_v we_o and_o in_o the_o rest_n of_o our_o sense_n there_o be_v a_o contemperature_n of_o other_o body_n exact_o tune_v to_o the_o complacency_n of_o each_o of_o they_o even_o temporal_a honour_n and_o the_o power_n of_o conquer_a and_o mastery_n have_v its_o splendour_n and_o ornament_n whence_o spring_v so_o strong_a a_o appetite_n of_o revenge_n yet_o therefore_o may_v not_o we_o for_o gain_v of_o these_o o_o lord_n depart_v from_o thou_o nor_o turn_v aside_o from_o thy_o law_n the_o mortal_a life_n also_o which_o we_o live_v here_o have_v its_o blandishment_n from_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o symmetry_n and_o proportion_n that_o it_o have_v to_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o these_o low_a beauty_n and_o in_o it_o the_o friendship_n also_o of_o man_n be_v in_o a_o ravish_a manner_n sweet_a from_o a_o combine_a union_n of_o many_o heart_n and_o upon_o occasion_n of_o all_o these_o and_o the_o like_a much_o sin_n be_v commit_v whilst_o by_o a_o immoderate_a propension_n to_o these_o the_o last_o of_o good_n those_o best_a and_o high_a be_v desert_v even_o thou_o o_o lord_n our_o god_n and_o thy_o truth_n and_o thy_o law_n for_o these_o thing_n below_o have_v also_o their_o delight_n but_o not_o like_o my_o god_n 32.1_o psal_n 32.1_o by_o who_o all_o they_o be_v make_v because_o in_o he_o do_v the_o righteous_a delight_n and_o he_o be_v the_o joy_n of_o the_o upright_a in_o heart_n therefore_o when_o we_o question_v for_o what_o cause_n any_o crime_n be_v do_v it_o be_v presume_v to_o proceed_v either_o from_o a_o desire_n of_o acquire_v or_o a_o fear_n of_o lose_v some_o of_o these_o the_o mean_a of_o good_n because_o they_o also_o be_v some_o way_n lovely_a and_o pretty_a though_o in_o comparison_n of_o those_o superior_a treasure_n and_o beatifical_a riches_n contemptible_a and_o base_a one_o man_n have_v murder_v another_o what_o move_v he_o to_o it_o he_o love_v his_o wife_n or_o his_o land_n or_o will_v rob_v he_o for_o his_o own_o
yet_o cure_v of_o the_o former_a how_o much_o better_o have_v it_o be_v for_o i_o to_o have_v be_v so_o early_o heal_v and_o that_o with_o my_o own_o and_o my_o friend_n strict_a care_n the_o health_n of_o my_o soul_n thus_o restore_v may_v have_v be_v ever_o after_o keep_v entire_a by_o thy_o preserve_n what_o thou_o have_v restore_v this_o sure_o have_v be_v much_o the_o better_o but_o that_o my_o good_a mother_n already_o foresee_v how_o many_o and_o how_o great_a billow_n of_o temptation_n after_o my_o childhood_n spend_v be_v ready_a to_o assault_v and_o to_o ore-set_a my_o more_o unbridled_a youth_n choose_v rather_o to_o expose_v to_o their_o blow_n i_o now_o before_o baptism_n as_o yet_o a_o lump_n of_o rude_a clay_n which_o by_o it_o afterward_o may_v be_v new_o mould_v than_o i_o when_o by_o the_o sacrament_n thy_o new-formed_n image_n which_o so_o perchance_o may_v happen_v to_o be_v deface_v chap._n xii_o of_o his_o sin_n and_o error_n at_o school_n and_o of_o they_o that_o instruct_v he_o yet_o in_o this_o my_o childhood_n far_o less_o fear_v for_o miscarriage_n than_o more_o headstrong_a youth_n i_o hate_v study_v and_o yet_o more_o to_o be_v press_v to_o it_o and_o yet_o i_o be_v force_v to_o it_o and_o well_o that_o i_o be_v so_o but_o in_o that_o force_a study_v i_o do_v not_o well_o who_o learn_v only_o from_o constraint_n for_o none_o do_v well_o what_o he_o do_v unwilling_o though_o it_o be_v well_o what_o he_o do_v but_o neither_o do_v those_o that_o urge_v i_o so_o in_o it_o do_v well_o but_o it_o be_v thou_o only_o o_o my_o god_n in_o it_o that_o do_v well_o unto_o i_o for_o they_o who_o so_o earnest_o urge_v i_o unto_o it_o see_v not_o to_o what_o good_a use_n i_o may_v employ_v it_o save_v only_o to_o go_v about_o to_o satisfy_v the_o unsatiable_a desire_n of_o wealthy_a poverty_n and_o ignominious_a glory_n 3._o mat._n 10_o 3._o but_o thou_o by_o who_o the_o very_a hair_n of_o our_o head_n be_v all_o number_v meanwhile_o do_v make_v good_a use_n of_o all_o our_o error_n â–³_o of_o their_o error_n in_o force_v i_o *_o to_o my_o profit_n and_o â–³_o of_o my_o in_o be_v averse_a from_o it_o *_o to_o my_o punishment_n which_o i_o well_o deserve_v be_v so_o little_a a_o child_n and_o so_o great_a a_o sinner_n so_o thou_o do_v well_o unto_o i_o by_o those_o who_o do_v not_o well_o and_o do_v as_o just_o take_v revenge_n on_o i_o in_o that_o very_a thing_n wherein_o i_o do_v amiss_o for_o thou_o have_v appoint_v and_o so_o it_o be_v that_o every_o inordinate_a affection_n shall_v be_v to_o itself_o it_o be_v own_o torment_n chap_n xiii_o of_o his_o hate_v greek_n and_o other_o necessary_a learning_n and_o affection_n to_o poetry_n and_o fable_n but_o why_o at_o that_o time_n i_o shall_v so_o much_o hate_n greek_n i_o do_v not_o yet_o well_o understand_v for_o latin_a i_o like_v very_o well_o i_o mean_v not_o that_o which_o our_o first_o master_n spell_n unto_o we_o but_o that_o which_o the_o grammarian_n teach_v for_o that_o first_o learning_n to_o read_v and_o write_v and_o cast_v up_o a_o account_n i_o think_v as_o afflict_v and_o vexatious_a as_o the_o greek_a and_o whence_o this_o also_o but_o from_o sin_n and_o the_o vanity_n of_o this_o life_n because_o i_o be_v flesh_n and_o a_o wind_n that_o pass_v away_o and_o come_v not_o again_o 78.39_o psal_n 78.39_o for_o that_o first_o learning_n be_v for_o the_o better_a because_o true_a and_o more_o certain_a which_o enrich_v i_o with_o a_o faculty_n necessary_a and_o as_o easy_o retain_v whereby_o i_o both_o read_v now_o what_o i_o find_v write_v and_o write_v myself_o what_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n than_o this_o other_o in_o which_o i_o learn_v and_o be_v enjoin_v to_o remember_v the_o error_n and_o wander_n of_o i_o know_v not_o what_o aeneas_n forgetful_a of_o my_o own_o error_n and_o shed_v tear_n for_o the_o death_n of_o one_o dido_n who_o kill_v herself_o for_o love_n when_o meanwhile_o i_o behold_v myself_o in_o these_o amorous_a toy_n perish_v from_o thou_o o_o god_n my_o life_n with_o dry_a eye_n miserable_a creature_n as_o i_o then_o be_v for_o what_o be_v more_o miserable_a than_o one_o that_o be_v in_o misery_n and_o yet_o have_v no_o commiseration_n of_o himself_o sad_o bewail_v wanton_a dido_n death_n cause_v by_o excess_n of_o love_n to_o aeneas_n and_o never_o deplore_a his_o own_o death_n cause_v by_o want_n of_o love_n to_o thou_o o_o god_n the_o glorious_a light_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o delicate_a food_n of_o the_o inner_a mouth_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o celestial_a power_n that_o now_o espouse_v my_o mind_n possess_v the_o bosom_n of_o my_o thought_n i_o do_v not_o then_o love_v thou_o and_o go_v a_o whore_v from_o thou_o and_o to_o this_o my_o fornication_n it_o be_v echo_v on_o every_o side_n euge_fw-la euge_fw-la well-done_a well-done_a for_o the_o friendship_n of_o this_o world_n be_v fornication_n against_o thou_o 4.4_o jam._n 4.4_o and_o they_o cry_v well-well-done_a that_o a_o shame_n to-be-ashamed-of_a may_v possess_v he_o who_o be_v not_o such_o a_o one_o as_o they_o commend_v and_o these_o thing_n i_o lament_v not_o but_o lament_v despair_v perish_v dido_n didonem_fw-la extinctam_fw-la ferroque_fw-la extrema_fw-la secutam_fw-la lib._n aeneid_n 6._o lib._n myself_o follow_v the_o same_o extremity_n even_o the_o low_a of_o thy_o creature_n and_o forsake_v thou_o earth_n tend_v towards_o earth_n and_o when_o i_o be_v forbid_v to_o read_v these_o thing_n i_o be_v grieve_v because_o i_o read_v not_o what_o may_v make_v i_o grieve_v and_o yet_o such_o foolery_n as_o this_o be_v account_v by_o i_o far_o more_o gentile_a and_o polite_a science_n â—han_o that_o whereby_o i_o learn_v to_o write_v and_o read_v but_o now_o let_v my_o god_n say_v unto_o my_o soul_n and_o let_v thy_o truth_n tell_v i_o it_o be_v otherwise_o and_o the_o former_a learning_n be_v far_o the_o better_a of_o the_o two_o for_o i_o shall_v soon_o and_o have_v rather_o forget_v aeneas_n his_o travel_n and_o all_o such_o like_a toy_n than_o to_o write_v and_o read_v i_o therefore_o when_o a_o boy_n do_v sin_n in_o prefer_v in_o my_o fond_a affection_n these_o empty_a thing_n before_o those_o useful_a or_o rather_o in_o hate_v the_o one_o whilst_o i_o dote_v on_o the_o other_o for_o then_o one_o and_o one_o make_v two_o two_o and_o two_o four_o be_v a_o odious_a repetition_n to_o i_o whilst_o the_o wooden_a horse_n line_v with_o arm_a man_n and_o the_o flame_a funeral_n of_o troy_n and_o lose_v creusa_n ghost_n be_v most_o ravish_a idol_n of_o my_o vanity_n chap._n xiiii_o why_o then_o hate_v i_o the_o greek_a tongue_n present_v i_o with_o the_o like_a fiction_n for_o learned_a homer_n have_v likewise_o curious_o weave_v such_o like_a pleasant-tale_n and_o be_v in_o his_o poem_n will_v sweetly-vain_a but_o yet_o be_v very_o bitter_a to_o i_o when_o a_o school_n boy_n and_o so_o be_v virgil_n i_o believe_v to_o the_o youth_n of_o greece_n when_o force_v to_o learn_v he_o with_o so_o much_o difficulty_n as_o i_o do_v the_o other_o for_o the_o hardness_n of_o attain_v a_o forreign-tongue_n do_v as_o it_o be_v oresprinkle_v with_o gall_n all_o the_o sweet_n of_o such_o fabulous_a story_n for_o i_o know_v not_o the_o word_n of_o that_o language_n and_o meanwhile_o be_v fright_v with_o cruel_a terror_n and_o torture_n to_o learn_v to_o know_v they_o it_o be_v true_a also_o that_o once_o in_o my_o infancy_n i_o understand_v no_o latin_a but_o this_o tongue_n i_o easy_o learn_v by_o observation_n only_o without_o fear_n or_o stripe_n amid_o the_o flatter_n of_o my_o nurse_n and_o the_o chat_n of_o my_o play-fellow_n and_o so_o i_o learn_v that_o tongue_n without_o the_o penal_a task_n of_o constraint_n my_o surcharge_a heart_n sufficient_o press_v i_o to_o a_o speedy_a delivery_n of_o its_o conception_n in_o the_o like_a expression_n which_o i_o learn_v not_o from_o those_o that_o teach_v but_o that_o talk_v with_o i_o in_o who_o ear_n i_o do_v also_o bring-forth_a whatever_o my_o mind_n preconceive_a whence_o it_o appear_v that_o such_o thing_n be_v better_o learn_v from_o a_o free_a unspurred_a curiosity_n than_o from_o a_o timorous_a necessity_n but_o yet_o the_o one_o well_o qualify_v and_o bridle_v the_o over-loosness_n of_o the_o other_o in_o the_o wise_a restraint_n of_o thy_o good_a law_n o_o god_n upon_o we_o which_o from_o the_o master_n ferula_fw-la to_o the_o trial_n of_o martyr_n do_v intermix_v and_o infuse_v those_o wholesome_a bitterness_n which_o may_v reduce_v we_o still_o unto_o thou_o from_o the_o infectious_a sweet_n that_o allure_v we_o to_o depart_v from_o thou_o chap._n xv._o his_o offering_n up_o to_o god_n the_o fruit_n of_o his_o learning_n o_o lord_n hear_v my_o
what_o he_o here_o read_v by_o i_o sad_o confess_v hence_o let_v he_o not_o scorn_v i_o because_o be_v sick_a i_o receive_v my_o cure_n from_o that_o physician_n from_o who_o himself_o also_o receive_v a_o preservative_n that_o he_o be_v not_o sick_a or_o rather_o that_o he_o be_v not_o so_o sick_a but_o for_o this_o let_v he_o as_o much_o nay_o more_o love_v thou_o because_o by_o what_o hand_n he_o see_v i_o from_o these_o languishment_n of_o sin_n recover_v by_o the_o same_o he_o see_v himself_o from_o the_o languish_n of_o sin_n preserve_v chap._n viii_o yet_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o have_v do_v that_o theft_n without_o company_n what_o fruit_n have_v i_o then_o poor_a soul_n 6.21_o rom._n 6.21_o in_o those_o thing_n whereof_o my_o remembrance_n now_o be_v ashamed_a especial_o in_o that_o act_n wherein_o i_o love_v nothing_o save_v only_o the_o very_a theft_n and_o it_o also_o be_v real_o nothing_o 12._o nothing_o see_v l._n 3._o c._n 7._o l._n 7._o c._n 12._o and_o therefore_o more_o wretched_a still_o i_o in_o love_v it_o yet_o be_v alone_a i_o have_v not_o commit_v it_o so_o i_o call_v to_o mind_n myself_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o at_o all_o have_v do_v it_o be_v alone_o therefore_o in_o it_o i_o love_v also_o the_o association_n of_o other_o with_o who_o i_o do_v it_o and_o so_o love_v something_o beside_o the_o theft_n though_o this_o something_o also_o be_v nothing_o 13.9.23_o psal_n 1.8.28_o psal_n 13.9.23_o for_o in_o reality_n what_o be_v it_o who_o can_v instruct_v i_o but_o he_o that_o enlighten_v my_o heart_n and_o discover_v all_o the_o shady_a corner_n thereof_o what_o be_v this_o that_o here_o come_v anew_o to_o be_v inquire_v and_o examine_v for_o if_o then_o i_o have_v love_v only_o the_o steal_v fruit_n or_o covet_v only_o the_o possession_n of_o it_o i_o may_v alone_o have_v execute_v the_o sin_n which_o will_v have_v compass_v my_o content_n and_o not_o have_v inflame_v the_o itch_n of_o my_o desire_n by_o the_o mutual_a rubbing_n of_o other_o conscious_a party_n but_o as_o my_o delight_n be_v not_o in_o the_o fruit_n but_o the_o action_n so_o the_o delight_n of_o the_o action_n arise_v out_o of_o the_o concurrence_n of_o other_o consent_v to_o be_v co-peccants_a with_o i_o chap._n ix_o what_o be_v this_o humour_n then_o in_o i_o too_o too_o bid_v i_o confess_v and_o great_a woe_n be_v to_o i_o by_o it_o but_o yet_o what_o be_v it_o 19.12_o psal_n 19.12_o and_o who_o can_v understand_v his_o fault_n why_o it_o make_v we_o laugh_v and_o tickle_v we_o with_o joy_n that_o we_o cozen_v those_o by_o who_o any_o such_o thing_n of_o we_o be_v little_o imagine_v and_o less_o wish_v why_o then_o be_v i_o so_o please_v not_o to_o do_v it_o alone_o because_o none_o hardly_o laugh_v by_o himself_o though_o laughter_n sometime_o also_o may_v overcome_v we_o all_o alone_a when_o something_o very_o ridiculous_a present_v itself_o to_o our_o sight_n or_o to_o our_o fancy_n but_o as_o for_o i_o alone_o i_o shall_v never_o have_v do_v this_o see_v o_o my_o god_n the_o fresh_a remembrance_n of_o my_o then-inclination_n set_v before_o thou_o that_o that_o theft_n have_v never_o be_v do_v by_o i_o alone_o wherein_o that_o which_o i_o steal_v please_v i_o not_o but_o that_o i_o steal_v it_o and_o this_o to_o i_o alone_o will_v have_v yield_v no_o delight_n o_o enemy_n friendship_n powerful_a inveigler_n of_o the_o soul_n to_o a_o unaccountable_a greediness_n of_o mischief_n even_o out_o of_o jest_n and_o merriment_n and_o to_o a_o appetite_n of_o another_o loss_n without_o any_o lust_n of_o my_o own_o gain_n or_o without_o any_o lust_n of_o revenge_n but_o only_o because_o it_o be_v say_v let_v we_o go_v let_v we_o do_v it_o and_o then_o we_o be_v ashamed_a not_o to_o be_v shameless_a chap._n x._o who_o can_v perfect_o unfold_v this_o so_o involve_a and_o entangle_v a_o knot_n so_o foul_a a_o business_n i_o can_v intend_v it_o no_o more_o no_o more_o reflect_v upon_o it_o but_o thou_o will_v i_o contemplate_v o_o righteousness_n and_o innocence_n *_o beautiful_a and_o comely_a to_o all_o chaste_a eye_n and_z *_o of_o a_o satiety_n never_o 2satisfy_v with_o thou_o be_v the_o riches_n of_o true_a repose_n and_o life_n void_a of_o perturbation_n who_o so_o enter_v into_o thou_o 21._o mat._n 5â—_n 21._o enter_v into_o the_o joy_n of_o his_o lord_n and_o he_o shall_v have_v nothing_o more_o whereof_o to_o be_v afraid_a but_o in_o the_o most_o happy_a ever_o be_v most_o happy_a from_o thy_o stability_n be_v i_o disperse_v from_o thou_o i_o go_v astray_o o_o my_o god_n too_o much_o astray_o in_o that_o my_o youth_n and_o so_o become_v to_o myself_o a_o barren_a land_n lib_fw-la iii_o chap._n i._n of_o his_o journey_n to_o carthage_n to_o finish_v his_o study_n and_o his_o amorous_a passion_n there_o to_o carthage_n now_o i_o come_v and_o there_o on_o every_o side_n sound_v in_o my_o ear_n the_o hot_a report_n of_o unchaste_a love_n and_o i_o though_o not_o yet_o in_o love_n yet_o then_o love_v to_o be_v in_o love_n and_o in_o this_o want_n of_o something_o to_o be_v love_v by_o i_o ay_o out_o of_o a_o more_o secret_a want_n hate_v myself_o because_o i_o want_v less_o and_o i_o earnest_o seek_v about_o for_o something_o which_o i_o may_v love_v in_o love_n with_o be_v in_o love_n and_o i_o loathe_v easy_a security_n and_o a_o way_n without_o snare_n and_o all_o because_o there_o be_v a_o famine_n within_o i_o of_o that_o spiritual_a food_n thy_o self_n my_o god_n and_o yet_o be_v thus_o sterve_v i_o be_v not_o a_o hunger_a but_o void_a of_o appetite_n to_o that_o incorruptible_a sustenance_n not_o because_o i_o be_v full_a thereof_o but_o because_o the_o more_o empty_a i_o be_v of_o it_o the_o more_o fastidious_a and_o for_o this_o reason_n my_o soul_n be_v sickly_a and_o be_v full_a of_o itchy_a ulcer_n miserable_o break_v out_o seek_v to_o be_v scratch_v and_o rub_v with_o the_o touch_n of_o sensitive_a and_o corporeal_a thing_n yet_o these_o corporeal_n will_v not_o at_o all_o be_v so_o affect_v if_o they_o be_v destitute_a of_o a_o soul_n yet_o to_o love_v and_o to_o be_v love_v of_o those_o soul_n so_o become_v far_o more_o sweet_a unto_o i_o if_o the_o body_n also_o of_o what_o i_o love_v be_v enjoy_v by_o i_o and_o thus_o i_o defile_v the_o chaste_a source_n of_o a_o pure_a amity_n with_o the_o dirt_n of_o unclean_a concupiscence_n and_o from_o the_o hell_n of_o lust_n below_o becloud_v its_o brightness_n and_o when_o i_o be_v so_o nasty_a and_o filthy_a yet_o i_o fancy_v myself_o fine_a and_o courtly_a out_o of_o a_o strange_a excess_n of_o vanity_n and_o at_o length_n i_o fall_v into_o the_o toil_n of_o love_n in_o which_o i_o desire_v so_o much_o to_o be_v entangle_v my_o god_n my_o mercy_n with_o how_o much_o gall_n and_o yet_o with_o how_o much_o compassion_n do_v thou_o besprinkle_v those_o sweet_n unto_o i_o for_o than_o i_o happen_v also_o to_o be_v re-beloved_n and_o so_o be_v in_o secret_a admit_v also_o into_o the_o bond_n of_o fruition_n and_o most_o joyful_o be_v fetter_v in_o those_o disastrous_a chain_n that_o i_o may_v be_v scourge_v sufficient_o afterward_o with_o the_o glow_a iron-rod_n of_o jealousy_n and_o suspicion_n and_o fear_n and_o wrath_n and_o quarrel_n chap_n ii_o of_o stageplay_n much_o affect_v by_o he_o and_z of_o the_o faulty_a passion_n they_o cause_v in_o he_o about_o this_o time_n also_o i_o be_v main_o carry_v away_o with_o stageplay_n and_o interlude_n which_o be_v replenish_v with_o *_o the_o image_n of_o my_o own_o misery_n and_o *_o the_n fuel_n of_o my_o fire_n and_o here_o what_o mean_v it_o that_o a_o man_n desire_v to_o grieve_v in_o behold_v these_o mournful_a and_o tragical_a sight_n which_o thing_n himself_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n suffer_v and_o yet_o from_o they_o he_o suffer_v sorrow_n when_o a_o spectator_n and_o this_o sorrow_n be_v his_o delight_n what_o mean_v this_o but_o a_o wretched_a madness_n in_o man_n for_o so_o much_o more_o be_v any_o affect_v by_o they_o by_o how_o much_o himself_o be_v less_o free_a from_o the_o like_a passion_n though_o when_o himself_o suffer_v such_o thing_n it_o be_v misery_n when_o he_o compassionate_v other_o it_o be_v style_v pity_n but_o what_o kind_n of_o pity_n that_o in_o these_o only_o feign_v and_o scenical_a disaster_n for_o there_o the_o auditor_n be_v not_o solicit_v to_o succour_v but_o invite_v to_o deplore_v and_o he_o applaud_v the_o actor_n of_o those_o representation_n the_o more_o the_o more_o they_o make_v he_o grieve_v and_o if_o perhaps_o the_o calamity_n of_o such_o person_n whether_o historical_a or_o feign_v be_v so_o cold_o act_v as_o not_o to_o contristate_v the_o spectator_n be_v speedy_o
because_o the_o more_o i_o love_v he_o the_o more_o i_o abhor_a and_o dread_a that_o my_o cruel_a enemy_n death_n that_o bereave_v i_o of_o he_o fancy_v it_o a_o monster_n that_o will_v soon_o devour_v the_o rest_n of_o man_n because_o it_o can_v destroy_v he_o even_o thus_o i_o well_o remember_v stand_v i_o then_o affect_v behold_v my_o heart_n o_o my_o god_n behold_v and_o see_v into_o i_o how_o i_o remember_v this_o very_a well_o o_o thou_o my_o hope_n that_o now_o cleanse_v i_o from_o the_o impurity_n of_o such_o passion_n guide_v my_o eye_n unto_o thy_o beauty_n and_o pluck_v my_o foot_n out_o of_o these_o snare_n for_o i_o wonder_v much_o that_o the_o rest_n of_o mortal_n can_v any_o long_o live_v when_o he_o who_o i_o love_v as_o a_o thing_n immortal_a be_v now_o dead_a and_o yet_o more_o wonder_v that_o myself_o be_v only_o another_o he_o can_v live_v when_o he_o be_v go_v well_o say_v one_o of_o his_o friend_n animae_fw-la dimidium_fw-la mea_fw-la half_a of_o my_o soul_n for_o i_o deem_v he_o and_o i_o to_o be_v but_o one_o soul_n as_o it_o be_v in_o different_a body_n and_o therefore_o my_o life_n be_v a_o horror_n to_o i_o who_o will_v not_o live_v thus_o a_o half_n and_o death_n yet_o a_o great_a affright_n to_o i_o lest_o he_o shall_v perish_v all_o who_o i_o so_o passionate_o love_v confessio_fw-la love_v s._n austin_n review_v this_o work_n in_o his_o retractation_n 2._o l._n 6._o c._n censure_v this_o expression_n quasi_fw-la declamatio_fw-la levis_fw-la potius_fw-la quam_fw-la gravis_fw-la confessio_fw-la chap._n vii_o he_o forsake_v the_o place_n of_o their_o acquaintance_n and_o go_v to_o carthage_n o_o fond_a madness_n that_o know_v not_o how_o to_o love_v man_n men-like_a o_o sottish_a man_n so_o impatient_o take_v to_o heart_n accident_n only_o humane_a such_o as_o poor_a i_o then_o be_v therefore_o i_o storm_v and_o sigh_v and_o weep_v and_o be_v distract_v bereave_v both_o of_o content_n and_o counsel_n for_o i_o carry_v about_o a_o soul_n all_o lacerate_v and_o gore_v in_o blood_n and_o impatient_a long_o to_o be_v carry_v by_o i_o and_o where_o to_o repose_v it_o i_o find_v not_o not_o in_o delightsome_a grove_n nor_o in_o play_n and_o music_n not_o in_o fragrant_a odour_n nor_o in_o exquisite_a banquet_n not_o in_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o chamber_n or_o of_o the_o bed_n not_o in_o book_n or_o poesy_n take_v it_o any_o rest_n all_o thing_n look_v ghastly_a even_o the_o day_n and_o whatever_o it_o be_v that_o be_v not_o he_o importune_v it_o be_v and_o loathsome_a except_o mourning_n and_o tear_n and_o in_o these_o only_a it_o find_v some_o small_a content_n and_o when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o retire_v my_o soul_n from_o these_o i_o be_v re-surcharged_n with_o the_o grievous_a burden_n of_o my_o misery_n which_o be_v only_o to_o be_v lighten_v by_o thou_o o_o lord_n only_o by_o thou_o to_o be_v remove_v and_o i_o know_v this_o but_o yet_o be_v so_o much_o the_o less_o either_o willing_a or_o able_a to_o find_v remedy_n because_o thou_o then_o to_o i_o be_v no_o solid_a or_o stable_a thing_n when_o my_o despair_a thought_n flee_v for_o support_v unto_o thou_o for_o it_o be_v not_o thou_o but_o a_o empty_a phantasm_n and_o my_o own_o error_n that_o be_v my_o god_n whereon_o assay_v â—o_o place_n my_o soul_n that_o it_o may_v find_v some_o stay_n through_o this_o inanity_n it_o still_o relapsed_a and_o again_o come_v roll_v back_o upon_o i_o and_o myself_o remain_v the_o alone_a unhappy_a place_n to_o myself_o where_o i_o can_v neither_o be_v nor_o be_v from_o thence_o for_o whether_o can_v my_o heart_n from_o my_o heart_n fly_v away_o where_o can_v i_o avoid_v myself_o and_o where_o will_v not_o myself_o follow_v i_o and_o yet_o far_o from_o my_o country_n i_o flee_v for_o my_o eye_n less_o miss_v he_o where_o they_o be_v not_o use_v to_o see_v he_o and_o thus_o forsake_v tagaste_n i_o go_v to_o carthage_n chap._n viii_o his_o wound_n eur_v by_o time_n and_o new_a friendship_n time_n do_v not_o lose_v time_n nor_o idle_o roll_v away_o by_o these_o our_o sense_n but_o in_o the_o mind_n produce_v strange_a operation_n behold_v they_o come_v and_o go_v day_n by_o day_n and_o in_o come_v and_o pass_v they_o insinuate_v into_o i_o other_o image_n and_o other_o remembrance_n and_o by_o degree_n repair_v i_o with_o my_o former_o know_a delight_n to_o which_o that_o my_o grief_n at_o length_n give_v place_n but_o there_o succeed_v though_o no_o new_a sorrow_n yet_o the_o cause_n only_o of_o more_o sorrow_n for_o whence_o do_v that_o my_o last_o grief_n so_o easy_o and_o so_o deep_o wound_v i_o but_o because_o i_o have_v spill_v my_o soul_n upon_o a_o bed_n of_o sand_n and_o love_v a_o mortal_a as_o if_o he_o can_v not_o die_v and_o that_o which_o recover_v and_o repair_v i_o of_o this_o be_v but_o like_a solace_n of_o other_o mortal_a friend_n with_o who_o i_o love_v something_o which_o be_v not_o love_v for_o thou_o even_o those_o fabulous_a delusion_n manicheisme_n delusion_n manicheisme_n and_o long-spun_a lie_n by_o the_o adulterous_a touch_n whereof_o our_o lascivient_fw-la mind_n through_o our_o itch_a ear_n become_v still_o more_o defile_v nor_o do_v these_o delusion_n perish_v to_o i_o when_o my_o friend_n do_v beside_o which_o there_o be_v also_o many_o other_o thing_n cement_n together_o our_o affection_n to_o chat_v and_o laugh_v together_o civil_a obsequiousness_n and_o mutual_a compliance_n together_o to_o read_v merry_a book_n to_o jest_v together_o and_o together_o be_v solemn_a to_o dissent_v from_o one_o another_o sometime_o without_o offence_n and_o as_o a_o man_n will_v do_v from_o himself_o and_o by_o this_o disagree_v in_o some_o very_o few_o thing_n to_o season_n and_o relish_v the_o more_o our_o consentment_n in_o the_o rest_n to_o teach_v one_o another_o somewhat_o or_o somewhat_o to_o learn_v to_o expect_v those_o absent_a with_o impatience_n embrace_v their_o return_n with_o joy_n it_o be_v usual_a by_o these_o and_o the_o like_a express_v and_o emanation_n from_o heart_n continual_o reflect_v interchange_v love_n through_o the_o countenance_n through_o the_o tongue_n through_o the_o eye_n and_o through_o a_o thousand_o other_o charm_a motion_n as_o it_o be_v by_o so_o much_o fuel_n heap_v on_o these_o fire_n to_o melt_v down_o soul_n and_o to_o cast_v many_o of_o they_o into_o one_o chap._n ix_o yet_o these_o too_o fail_v he_o and_o this_o be_v it_o that_o be_v love_v in_o a_o friend_n and_o so_o love_v that_o the_o conscience_n be_v self-accused_n in_o any_o who_o continue_v not_o to_o love_v he_o who_o love_v he_o again_o or_o who_o love_v not_o that_o man_n again_o who_o love_v he_o first_o require_v nothing_o from_o his_o body_n but_o only_a demonstration_n of_o his_o affection_n and_o for_o this_o be_v those_o mourning_n if_o one_o die_v and_o night_n of_o sorrow_n and_o a_o languish_a heart_n have_v all_o its_o sweet_n convert_v into_o bitterness_n and_o from_o the_o dear_a loss_n of_o the_o life_n of_o those_o who_o be_v dead_a even_o the_o death_n of_o those_o alive_a but_o alway-blessed_n he_o who_o love_v *_o thou_o and_o in_o thou_o *_o his_o friend_n and_o for_o thou_o *_o his_o eenmy_n for_o he_o alone_o lose_v nothing_o dear_a to_o who_o all_o be_v dear_a only_o in_o he_o who_o he_o never_o lose_v and_o who_o be_v this_o neverlost_a but_o our_o god_n the_o god_n that_o make_v and_o fill_v heaven_n and_o earth_n 17.71_o jer._n 23.24_o ps_n 119.142_o jo._n 17.71_o and_o that_o even_o by_o fill_v they_o make_v they_o thou_o none_o lose_v but_o who_o leave_v and_o who_o so_o leave_v thou_o whither_o go_v he_o or_o whither_o do_v he_o fly_v but_o from_o thou_o gracious_a back_o again_o to_o thou_o offend_v for_o in_o what_o place_n find_v he_o not_o the_o presence_n of_o thy_o law_n in_o his_o punishment_n and_o thy_o law_n be_v truth_n and_o truth_n be_v thyself_o chap._n x._o all_o thing_n love_v beside_o god_n pass_v away_o and_o leave_v the_o lover_n to_o embrace_v sorrow_n 80.19_o ps_n 80.19_o tvrn_v we_o unto_o thou_o o_o god_n of_o power_n show_v we_o the_o beauty_n of_o thy_o countenance_n and_o we_o shall_v be_v whole_a for_o which_o way_n soever_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n turn_v itself_o it_o be_v consign_v unto_o sorrow_n unless_o only_o towards_o thou_o yea_o though_o it_o seize_v upon_o all_o those_o other_o beauty_n that_o be_v out_o of_o itself_o and_o out_o of_o thou_o which_o yet_o can_v be_v none_o at_o all_o unless_o they_o be_v from_o thou_o all_o which_o have_v their_o rise_n and_o their_o set_n their_o spring_n and_o their_o fall_n and_o in_o their_o spring_a they_o begin_v as_o it_o be_v to_o be_v and_o then_o grow_v on_o to_o attain_v perfection_n perfect_v
indeed_o dedicate_v to_o thy_o service_n but_o yet_o as_o it_o be_v pant_v after_o and_o somewhat_o relish_v of_o the_o school_n of_o pride_n so_o late_o leave_v be_v witness_v by_o my_o book_n be_v book_n his_o book_n write_v there_o be_v reason_v partly_o with_o those_o who_o be_v present_a before_o i_o and_o partly_o with_o myself_o alone_o before_o thou_o and_o 2._o and_o contra_fw-la academicos_fw-la lib._n 3._o de_fw-fr vitâ_fw-la beatâ_fw-la l._n 1._o de_fw-fr ordine_fw-la l._n 2._o soliloquiorum_fw-la l._n 2._o what_o i_o act_v with_o absent_a nebridius_fw-la be_v testify_v by_o my_o epistle_n o_o when_o shall_v i_o find_v sufficient_a time_n for_o commemoration_n of_o those_o thy_o so_o many_o and_o so_o great_a benefit_n towards_o we_o in_o that_o time_n especial_o i_o hasten_v to_o yet_o great_a matter_n for_o my_o remembrance_n call_v i_o back_o to_o those_o time_n and_o it_o be_v a_o sweet_a thing_n to_o i_o o_o lord_n to_o confess_v now_o unto_o thou_o *_o with_o what_o inward_a rod_n thou_o then_o tame_v i_o and_o *_o in_o what_o manner_n thou_o level_v and_o plain_v i_o humble_v the_o mountain_n and_o bank_n of_o my_o vain_a and_o tower_a thought_n straighten_v my_o crookedness_n and_o smooth_v my_o roughness_n and_o also_o *_o in_o what_o manner_n thou_o subdue_v alipius_n the_o brother_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o that_o bless_a name_n of_o thy_o only_o beget_v n_o son_n jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n which_o name_n at_o first_o he_o disdain_v to_o have_v insert_v in_o our_o writing_n which_o he_o desire_v may_v rather_o relish_v △_o of_o the_o lofty_a cedar_n of_o the_o philosophy-school_n 29.5_o psa_fw-la 29.5_o which_o the_o lord_n have_v break_v than_o △_o of_o the_o humble_a and_o low_o medicinal_a herb_n of_o ecclesiastical_a knowledge_n salutary_a for_o nourishment_n preservative_n against_o poison_n o_o what_o passionate_a voice_n send_v i_o up_o onto_z thou_o then_o when_o i_o read_v the_o psalm_n of_o david_n those_o faithful_a hymn_n and_o those_o air_n of_o piety_n not_o to_o be_v sing_v by_o any_o swell_a spirit_n then_o when_o i_o be_v but_o yet_o a_o novice_n in_o the_o school_n of_o thy_o love_n and_o only_o catechumenus_fw-la solace_v myself_o in_o that_o villa_n in_o the_o society_n of_o alipius_n a_o catechumenus_fw-la also_o my_o mother_n still_o adhere_v to_o we_o in_o a_o female_a habit_n but_o with_o a_o manly_a faith_n the_o security_n of_o old_a age_n the_o affection_n of_o a_o mother_n the_o piety_n of_o a_o christian_n o_o what_o passionate_a expression_n i_o say_v make_v i_o unto_o thou_o in_o the_o read_n of_o those_o psalm_n and_o how_o much_o be_v i_o inflame_v towards_o thou_o by_o they_o and_o how_o be_v i_o incense_v to_o have_v sing_v and_o proclaim_v they_o if_o i_o can_v all_o the_o world_n over_o to_o the_o confusion_n of_o the_o swell_a and_o pride_n of_o man_n though_o very_o all_o the_o world_n over_o be_v they_o sing_v and_o there_o be_v none_o that_o can_v hide_v himself_o from_o thy_o heat_n with_o what_o bitter_a indignation_n and_o grief_n do_v i_o storm_n against_o the_o manichee_n 19.6_o psa_fw-la 19.6_o and_o then_o again_o pity_v they_o that_o they_o be_v *_o ignorant_a of_o those_o sacrament_n of_o those_o medicine_n and_o *_o mad_a also_o against_o the_o antidote_n from_o which_o they_o may_v have_v receive_v the_o cure_n of_o their_o madness_n how_o do_v i_o wish_v that_o they_o have_v be_v somewhere_o near_o i_o and_o may_v i_o ignorant_a of_o their_o presence_n or_o harken_v have_v *_o observe_n my_o countenance_n and_o *_o herd_n my_o ejaculation_n when_o i_o read_v the_o four_o psalm_n and_o *_o see_v what_o thing_n in_o that_o my_o retirement_n be_v wrought_v on_o i_o by_o this_o psalm_n cum_fw-la invocarem_fw-la when_o i_o call_v upon_o thou_o thou_o hear_v i_o o_o god_n of_o my_o righteousness_n in_o my_o distress_n thou_o have_v enlarge_v i_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o o_o lord_n and_o hear_v my_o prayer_n that_o i_o say_v they_o may_v have_v hear_v without_o my_o knowledge_n that_o they_o hear_v lest_o they_o may_v think_v that_o for_o they_o i_o say_v so_o what_o thing_n i_o utter_v on_o those_o word_n for_o indeed_o neither_o shall_v i_o say_v the_o same_o thing_n nor_o in_o such_o manner_n say_v they_o suppose_v they_o to_o have_v see_v or_o overhear_v i_o nor_o if_o i_o shall_v have_v say_v the_o same_o will_v they_o have_v so_o entertain_v they_o as_o when_o i_o say_v they_o only_o with_o and_z to_z myself_o before_o thou_o in_o the_o familiar_a and_o native_a affection_n and_o expression_n of_o my_o mind_n how_o do_v i_o now_o tremble_v with_o fear_n now_o again_o burn_v with_o hope_n and_o with_o exultation_n in_o thy_o mercy_n o_o father_n and_o how_o do_v these_o issue_n forth_o by_o my_o eye_n and_o voice_n my_o tear_n and_o sigh_n when_o thy_o good_a spirit_n turn_v unto_o we_o say_v in_o the_o word_n follow_v o_o you_o son_n of_o man_n how_o long_o dull_a of_o heart_n suum_fw-la psal_n 4.3_o vulgar_a filii_fw-la hominum_fw-la usque_fw-la quo_fw-la gravi_fw-la cord_n scirote_n quoniam_fw-la mirificavit_fw-la dominus_fw-la sanctum_fw-la suum_fw-la how_o long_o will_v you_o love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o a_o lie_n know_v you_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v magnify_v his_o holy_a one_o for_o i_o have_v love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v a_o lie_n and_o thou_o lord_n have_v already_o long_o since_o magnify_v thy_o holy_a one_o raise_v he_o from_o the_o dead_a and_o set_v he_o at_o thy_o right_a hand_n whence_o also_o he_o shall_v send_v from_o on_o high_a his_o promise_a comforter_n the_o spirit_n of_o truth_n and_o he_o have_v also_o send_v he_o already_o but_o i_o know_v it_o not_o he_o have_v send_v he_o already_o because_o he_o be_v already_o magnify_v rise_v from_o the_o dead_a and_o ascend_a into_o heaven_n 7.39_o heaven_n joh._n 7.39_o for_o till_o then_o the_o h._n ghost_n be_v not_o give_v because_o jesus_n be_v not_o yet_o glorify_v and_o for_o these_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o the_o prophet_n cry_v out_o how_o long_o dull_a of_o heart_n how_o long_o love_v you_o vanity_n and_o seek_v a_o lie_n and_o know_v you_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v glorify_v his_o holy_a one_o he_o cry_v out_o how_o long_o he_o cri_fw-la be_v out_o know_v you_o and_o i_o so_o long_o not_o know_v have_v love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o a_o lie_n and_o therefore_o i_o hear_v and_o stand_v in_o awe_n because_o this_o be_v speak_v to_o such_o as_o i_o remember_v i_o have_v be_v for_o in_o those_o phantasm_n which_o i_o have_v hold_v for_o truth_n there_o be_v vanity_n and_o a_o lie_n and_o i_o burst_v forth_o into_o many_o serious_a and_o vehement_a expression_n in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o my_o remembrance_n which_o i_o wish_v they_o may_v have_v hear_v who_o even_o until_o now_o love_v that_o vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o that_o lie_n perhaps_o they_o will_v have_v be_v pain_v and_o have_v empty_v themselves_o of_o that_o poison_n 4._o ver._n 4._o and_o so_o thou_o will_v hear_v they_o when_o they_o cry_v unto_o thou_o for_o not_o in_o a_o vain_a and_o lie_a appearance_n but_o by_o a_o true_a death_n of_o his_o flesh_n he_o die_v for_o we_o who_o now_o intercede_v and_o cry_v unto_o thou_o for_o we_o and_o thou_o hear_v he_o i_o further_o read_v there_o 2.5_o there_o ver_fw-la 5._o irascimini_fw-la &_o nolite_fw-la peccare_fw-la rom_n 2.5_o be_v angry_a and_o sin_n not_o and_o how_o be_v i_o move_v therewith_o o_o my_o god_n who_o have_v already_o learn_v to_o be_v angry_a with_o myself_o for_o my_o past_a sin_n that_o i_o may_v for_o the_o future_a forbear_v sin_v and_o with_o good_a reason_n angry_a because_o it_o be_v not_o any_o other_o nature_n of_o the_o nation_n of_o darkness_n that_o sin_v in_o i_o as_o they_o say_v who_o therefore_o be_v not_o angry_a with_o themselves_o for_o it_o and_o so_o treasure_n up_o anger_n against_o the_o day_n of_o anger_n and_o of_o the_o revelation_n of_o thy_o just_a judgement_n neither_o be_v now_o my_o bona_fw-la my_o allusion_n to_o verse_n 6._o quis_fw-la ostendet_fw-la nobis_fw-la bona_fw-la good_a thing_n as_o they_o place_v abroad_o and_o without_o i_o nor_o seek_v with_o my_o carnal_a eye_n by_o the_o light_n of_o that_o sun_n for_o those_o who_o seek_v their_o joy_n in_o something_o abroad_o do_v easy_o become_v vain_a and_o be_v spill_v upon_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v see_v and_o which_o be_v temporal_a and_o with_o hungersterved_n cogitation_n continue_v still_o lick_v the_o image_n thereof_o and_o oh_o that_o they_o may_v once_o grow_v weary_a of_o and_o loath_a such_o a_o hunger_n and_o say_v quis_fw-la ostendet_fw-la nobis_fw-la bona_fw-la who_o will_v show_v we_o any_o better_a good_a and_o that_o we_o may_v answer_v again_o &_o they_o may_v hearken_v unto_o it_o
it_o be_v *_o no_n object_n of_o sense_n *_o no_o part_n of_o the_o visible_a world_n abroad_o no_o part_n or_o faculty_n within_o himself_o and_o first_o not_o with_o a_o doubt_v but_o a_o certain_a conscience_n i_o may_v confess_v o_o lord_n that_o i_o do_v love_n thou_o thou_o have_v wound_v my_o heart_n with_o thy_o word_n and_o it_o be_v enamour_v upon_o thou_o yet_o also_o beside_o my_o heart_n the_o heaven_n and_o the_o earth_n and_o all_o the_o thing_n which_o be_v in_o they_o on_o every_o side_n cry_v out_o unto_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v love_v thou_o neither_o cease_v they_o to_o say_v the_o same_o to_o all_o that_o they_o may_v remain_v without_o excuse_n but_o yet_o in_o a_o high_a way_n of_o revelation_n thou_o have_v mercy_n on_o who_o thou_o will_v have_v m_o rcy_n and_o show_v compassion_n on_o who_o thou_o will_v show_v compassion_n otherwise_o these_o heaven_n and_o earth_n do_v speak_v thy_o praise_n only_o to_o the_o deaf_a and_o what_o be_v it_o i_o love_v now_o in_o love_v thou_o certain_o not_o the_o beauty_n of_o body_n nor_o the_o decent_a order_n of_o time_n not_o the_o splendour_n of_o light_n so_o gladsome_a to_o this_o corporal_a sight_n not_o the_o melody_n of_o all_o sort_n of_o song_n and_o music_n not_o the_o fragrant_a scent_n of_o flower_n oil_n and_o spice_n not_o delicious_a manna_n ard_n honey_n not_o fair_a limb_n allure_a to_o carnal_a embrace_n none_o of_o these_o thing_n love_v i_o now_o when_o i_o love_v my_o god_n and_o yet_o i_o confess_v i_o love_v also_o a_o certain_a light_n and_o melody_n and_o fragrancy_n and_o deliciousness_n and_o embrace_n when_o i_o love_v my_o god_n who_o be_v the_o light_n melody_n fragrancy_n grateful_a sustenance_n and_o amorous_a embracement_n of_o my_o inward_a man_n where_o to_o my_o ravish_a soul_n shine_v what_o be_v not_o terminable_a by_o place_n and_o sound_n what_o be_v not_o measurable_a by_o time_n and_o smell_n what_o be_v not_o dissipable_a by_o expire_n and_o taste_v what_o no_o edacity_n diminish_v and_o be_v embrace_v what_o no_o satiety_n separate_v such_o thing_n be_v it_o i_o love_v when_o i_o love_v my_o god_n and_o what_o thing_n be_v this_o i_o demand_v it_o of_o the_o earth_n and_o it_o say_v i_o be_o not_o it_o and_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o same_o they_o confess_v likewise_o the_o same_o i_o ask_v the_o sea_n and_o the_o abysses_n and_o the_o live_a moveable_n therein_o and_o they_o answer_v we_o be_v not_o thy_o god_n seek_v thou_o high_o than_o we_o i_o ask_v the_o fleet_a air_n above_o and_o its_o vast_a region_n with_o all_o the_o guest_n thereof_o reply_v anaximenes_n be_v mistake_v i_o be_o not_o god_n i_o inquire_v of_o the_o heaven_n the_o sun_n the_o moon_n and_o the_o star_n neither_o be_v we_o say_v they_o god_n who_o thou_o seek_v then_o i_o say_v unto_o all_o these_o thing_n encamp_v round_o about_o my_o sense_n the_o door_n of_o my_o flesh_n you_o have_v say_v unto_o i_o of_o my_o god_n you_o be_v not_o heâ—_n tell_v i_o at_o lest_o some_o tiding_n of_o he_o and_o they_o all_o cry_v out_o with_o a_o loud_a voice_n it_o be_v he_o that_o make_v we_o my_o ask_n be_v my_o observe_v of_o they_o and_o their_o answer_n be_v what_o i_o discover_v in_o they_o at_o last_o i_o reflect_v my_o eye_n upon_o myself_o and_o say_v to_o myself_o and_o what_o be_v thou_o and_o i_o answer_v a_o man._n and_o in_o this_o compound_n there_o present_v themselves_o unto_o i_o a_o body_n and_o a_o soul_n the_o one_o more_o exterior_a the_o other_o more_o retire_v and_o which_o of_o these_o shall_v it_o rather_o be_v where_o i_o ought_v to_o seek_v my_o god_n who_o i_o have_v search_v already_o through_o body_n from_o the_o earth_n even_o to_o heaven_n so_o far_o as_o the_o ray_n of_o my_o eye_n my_o spy_n abroad_o can_v make_v any_o discovery_n certain_o of_o the_o two_o much_o the_o better_a part_n of_o man_n be_v that_o which_o be_v more_o interior_a for_o all_o those_o corporeal_a nuncio_n return_n their_o intelligence_n to_o this_o sit_v on_o the_o tribunal_n and_o judge_v of_o all_o those_o answer_n from_o heaven_n and_o earth_n and_o from_o all_o thing_n in_o they_o whilst_o they_o say_v we_o be_v not_o god_n but_o he_o it_o be_v that_o make_v we_o it_o be_v only_o the_o inner_a man_n that_o know_v these_o thing_n by_o the_o ministry_n and_o service_n of_o the_o outer_a it_o be_v i_o within_o only_o that_o understand_v these_o thing_n i_o the_o mind_n by_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o body_n therefore_o thou_o be_v much_o my_o better_a part_n o_o my_o soul_n who_o do_v also_o vegetate_v the_o lump_n of_o thy_o body_n and_o who_o give_v it_o life_n which_o no_o one_o body_n can_v confer_v on_o another_o but_o yet_o thy_o god_n be_v also_o the_o life_n of_o this_o thy_o life_n unto_o thou_o chap._n vii_o neither_o the_o vegetative_a nor_o yet_o the_o sensitive_a what_o therefore_o love_v i_o when_o i_o love_v god_n what_o be_v he_o who_o be_v advance_v so_o high_a over_o the_o head_n of_o my_o soul_n by_o my_o 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this_o power_n also_o i_o will_v dismiss_v for_o this_o also_o the_o horse_n and_o mule_n have_v be_v sensitive_a creature_n no_o less_o than_o myself_o chap._n viii_o nor_o yet_o the_o more_o interior_a and_o most_o admirable_a faculty_n of_o the_o memory_n the_o many_o wonder_n of_o which_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o maker_n thereof_o he_o most_o subtle_o discourse_v unto_o the_o 26._o chapter_n i_o will_v pass_v over_o this_o power_n also_o of_o my_o nature_n ascend_v by_o degree_n to_o he_o that_o make_v it_o and_o i_o and_z next_o i_o come_v into_o the_o large_a field_n and_o palace_n of_o my_o memory_n the_o treasury_n of_o numberless_a form_n and_o image_n convey_v thither_o from_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v perceive_v by_o sense_n as_o also_o the_o repository_n *_o of_o all_o our_o own_o cogitation_n and_o fancy_n which_o augment_v or_o diminish_v or_o any_o other_o way_n vary_v the_o discovery_n of_o sense_n and_o *_o of_o what_o ever_o thing_n beside_o these_o enters_z in_o 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