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A96827 Women will have their will: or, Give Christmas his due. In a dialogue betweene Mris Custome, a victuallers wife neere Cripplegate, and Mris New-come, a captains wife, living in Reformation-Alley, neer Destruction-street. When Gillian Turn-tripe, Jack-an-apes his trull, and Cicely Sly-tricks, Gol-magogs great gull, shall once begin to rule and sway this land, oh, to those subjects under their command! 1649 (1649) Wing W3327; Thomason E1182_12; ESTC R208164 7,109 17

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Cust Reason reason as if any man could shew a reason for not keeping of Christmas you spake as bad as blasphemie Christmas that hath been a Custome ever since the world began should now with a puffe of reason through the Rams-horne of selfe-conceit with the walls of Jericho be layd flat to the ground M. New Nay M. Custome although it is a Custome very Ancient yet it is not so old as the world there you are somewhat mistaken M. Cust As for the world I doe not know its age but for Christmas I am sure it was kept in my Grand-fathers great Grand-fathers time in my Grand-fathers time in my fathers time none of these did over think it Superstition or Idolatry and for my part I will keep it as long as I am able let all the powers on earth stand to oppose it And though the Fields dis-robed be Of all their Herbs and Fruits And the merrie chirping Birds Are all turn'd tonguelesse mutes Yet we will sing and merrie be Our time in Sport wee 'l passe Not weighing how the time shall be Nor never how it was M. New Then you are resolved M. Cust I am for that matter come what will come ah how me thinkes my braines are wher upon the conceit on 't I could wish now at this Time that the Valiantest Champion of all the Round-headed Disputants to encounter with me in this Argument I tell thee If I had the tongue of Hermes who as my Husband saith was Prolocutor to the gods or if I had as many fingers as Camaldus who was feigned to have an hundred hands If ●urging Neptune was converted into Inke or the rugged-ragged-face of our antient mother Tellus were Paper yet could not the verball volubilitie or elocution of my voyce nor the agilitie dexteritie or facultie of my hands nor the spacious unmesurable number-lesse white innocent Paper no none of all these could either speak write or by any other meanes declare the aboundance of Arguments comprehended within the notion of my braine for this unlimited Subject M. New For my part your Eloquence is too harsh for me M. Cust Oh I have it by heart I have heard my Husband when Gentlemen have been drinking here at my house rabble out aboundance of this Fustian-stuffe which gives them a great deale of content especially when they have almost seen the Devill in a Frize Jerkin and every thing look with Janus faces M. New Then I perceive by you that you cannot possibly be wrought on to leave this Old Ceremony your mind is so unchangeable M. Cust Unchangeable can the Black-moore change his skin or the Sunne alrer his continued course Yet sooner can these things be done then my mind changed for to keep old Christmas once again M. New It is an old saying and true That which is bred in the bone will seldome or never out of the flesh M. Cust Thou sayest true My great Grand-father my Grand-father my father and now my selfe these nine and fortie yeares have kept this Festivall Time and this yeare above all the rest ought to be kept for it is the yeare of Iubile as the Bishop of Armagh said when he preached before the King and I for my part am fourescore and one yeares old So that here is Iubile upon Iubile yeare Iubile for my birth and the year Iubile for my keeping Christmas and therefore shall not we be merry mine owne S. Nichol. a Cod We will be merry let all say what they will As we have kept it so wee 'l keepe it still M. New What will you keepe it in spite of Authoritie M. Cust What Authoritie I am sure my father and mother had the greatest authoritie over me ever since I was borne and other authoritie I knew none before I was married now it seems I am under a crabbed Husbands authoritie and besides him I will be subject to none and I am sure he is as strong for Christmas as the greatest of our Ancestours and therefore that Authoritie will not curb me M. New Then it semes you know no other authoritie M. Cust No by our Lady not I neither doe I desire to know any for he is crabbed enough of any conscience if I should tell you all you would say so too therefore the Devill take all other Authority if it be no better then a dogged crosse-graine Devillish Husband M. New Why then you count the Parliament no Authoritie M. Cust I hope Gossip you are not come to pick quarrells with me in my owne house M. New No truely M. Custome not I neither would I have you to entertaine such a hard conceit for my part I was never so well read in such Principles nor ever took any degree at the Vniversitie of Billingsgate M. Cust Perhaps you are of your mothers tutor-age then for I am sure she was an Oyster-woman of that Colledge for one and twentie yeares to my owne knowledge and had her tongue as nimble as an Italian Mountebanck M. New What my mother was is nothing to me M. Cust But you are a Chip of the Old Block for what doe you mean in telling me of the Parliament M. New I meane the two Houses of Parliament which have jumped together in one Opinion for the putting downe and destroying of this Romish Beast Christmas for which they are to be commended M. Cust It is a strange thing let the Devill never so cunningly hide his head we shall know him by his Cloven foot nor let the Asse never so craftily hide his feet yet we may know him by his Eares and howsoever covertly you have carried your selfe I know you both by head heels I see you are one of the New Faction and a great Student in Spittle-Colledge but that is nothing to me yet what do you mean by Calling Christmas a Romish Beast pray explain your self at large M. New To leave all manner of Circumstance which is not pertinent to our Subject in hand M. Cust By Lady neighbour I think you are one of these New Teachers you handle your matter so excellent but I trouble you pray proceed M. New The word Christmas if learnedly weighed in it we shall find matter of dangerous Consequence As 1. If we consider what the word or name is Christ 2. If we consider who gave him this name 3. Where he was Christned or had the name given him 4. By what authoritie they gave him this name Of which I shall procéed in order according to my weak abilitie And first for the word Christmas is a word which deciphers a Scorpion which is a venomous Beast which carries a sting at his tayle and so doth Christmas for the word Masse is a sting in the tayle of that Romish Beast Secondly we must consider who gave him this name that was his God-fathers and God-mothers in Baptisme from whence ariseth this doubtfull question who they were and that was Pope Boniface Pope Fireface and Pope Joane but by reason of